,quick
in
perception
,
rose
and
said
,
"
It
is
true
;
you
must
have
half-exhausted
yourself
in
talking
about
Lydgate
.
That
sort
of
work
tells
upon
one
after
the
excitement
is
over
.
"
He
gave
her
his
arm
back
to
the
Manor
,
but
Dorothea
did
not
attempt
to
speak
,
even
when
he
said
good-night
.
The
limit
of
resistance
was
reached
,
and
she
had
sunk
back
helpless
within
the
clutch
of
inescapable
anguish
.
Dismissing
Tantripp
with
a
few
faint
words
,
she
locked
her
door
,
and
turning
away
from
it
towards
the
vacant
room
she
pressed
her
hands
hard
on
the
top
of
her
head
,
and
moaned
out
—
"
Oh
,
I
did
love
him
!
"
Then
came
the
hour
in
which
the
waves
of
suffering
shook
her
too
thoroughly
to
leave
any
power
of
thought
.
She
could
only
cry
in
loud
whispers
,
between
her
sobs
,
after
her
lost
belief
which
she
had
planted
and
kept
alive
from
a
very
little
seed
since
the
days
in
Rome
—
after
her
lost
joy
of
clinging
with
silent
love
and
faith
to
one
who
,
misprized
by
others
,
was
worthy
in
her
thought
—
after
her
lost
woman
's
pride
of
reigning
in
his
memory
—
after
her
sweet
dim
perspective
of
hope
,
that
along
some
pathway
they
should
meet
with
unchanged
recognition
and
take
up
the
backward
years
as
a
yesterday
.
In
that
hour
she
repeated
what
the
merciful
eyes
of
solitude
have
looked
on
for
ages
in
the
spiritual
struggles
of
man
—
she
besought
hardness
and
coldness
and
aching
weariness
to
bring
her
relief
from
the
mysterious
incorporeal
might
of
her
anguish
:
she
lay
on
the
bare
floor
and
let
the
night
grow
cold
around
her
;
while
her
grand
woman
's
frame
was
shaken
by
sobs
as
if
she
had
been
a
despairing
child
.
There
were
two
images
—
two
living
forms
that
tore
her
heart
in
two
,
as
if
it
had
been
the
heart
of
a
mother
who
seems
to
see
her
child
divided
by
the
sword
,
and
presses
one
bleeding
half
to
her
breast
while
her
gaze
goes
forth
in
agony
towards
the
half
which
is
carried
away
by
the
lying
woman
that
has
never
known
the
mother
's
pang
.
Here
,
with
the
nearness
of
an
answering
smile
,
here
within
the
vibrating
bond
of
mutual
speech
,
was
the
bright
creature
whom
she
had
trusted
—
who
had
come
to
her
like
the
spirit
of
morning
visiting
the
dim
vault
where
she
sat
as
the
bride
of
a
worn-out
life
;
and
now
,
with
a
full
consciousness
which
had
never
awakened
before
,
she
stretched
out
her
arms
towards
him
and
cried
with
bitter
cries
that
their
nearness
was
a
parting
vision
:
she
discovered
her
passion
to
herself
in
the
unshrinking
utterance
of
despair
.
And
there
,
aloof
,
yet
persistently
with
her
,
moving
wherever
she
moved
,
was
the
Will
Ladislaw
who
was
a
changed
belief
exhausted
of
hope
,
a
detected
illusion
—
no
,
a
living
man
towards
whom
there
could
not
yet
struggle
any
wail
of
regretful
pity
,
from
the
midst
of
scorn
and
indignation
and
jealous
offended
pride
.
The
fire
of
Dorothea
's
anger
was
not
easily
spent
,
and
it
flamed
out
in
fitful
returns
of
spurning
reproach
.
Why
had
he
come
obtruding
his
life
into
hers
,
hers
that
might
have
been
whole
enough
without
him
?
Why
had
he
brought
his
cheap
regard
and
his
lip-born
words
to
her
who
had
nothing
paltry
to
give
in
exchange
?
He
knew
that
he
was
deluding
her
—
wished
,
in
the
very
moment
of
farewell
,
to
make
her
believe
that
he
gave
her
the
whole
price
of
her
heart
,
and
knew
that
he
had
spent
it
half
before
.
Why
had
he
not
stayed
among
the
crowd
of
whom
she
asked
nothing
—
but
only
prayed
that
they
might
be
less
contemptible
?
But
she
lost
energy
at
last
even
for
her
loud-whispered
cries
and
moans
:
she
subsided
into
helpless
sobs
,
and
on
the
cold
floor
she
sobbed
herself
to
sleep
.
In
the
chill
hours
of
the
morning
twilight
,
when
all
was
dim
around
her
,
she
awoke
—
not
with
any
amazed
wondering
where
she
was
or
what
had
happened
,
but
with
the
clearest
consciousness
that
she
was
looking
into
the
eyes
of
sorrow
.
She
rose
,
and
wrapped
warm
things
around
her
,
and
seated
herself
in
a
great
chair
where
she
had
often
watched
before
.
She
was
vigorous
enough
to
have
borne
that
hard
night
without
feeling
ill
in
body
,
beyond
some
aching
and
fatigue
;
but
she
had
waked
to
a
new
condition
:
she
felt
as
if
her
soul
had
been
liberated
from
its
terrible
conflict
;
she
was
no
longer
wrestling
with
her
grief
,
but
could
sit
down
with
it
as
a
lasting
companion
and
make
it
a
sharer
in
her
thoughts
.
For
now
the
thoughts
came
thickly
.
It
was
not
in
Dorothea
's
nature
,
for
longer
than
the
duration
of
a
paroxysm
,
to
sit
in
the
narrow
cell
of
her
calamity
,
in
the
besotted
misery
of
a
consciousness
that
only
sees
another
's
lot
as
an
accident
of
its
own
.
She
began
now
to
live
through
that
yesterday
morning
deliberately
again
,
forcing
herself
to
dwell
on
every
detail
and
its
possible
meaning
.
Was
she
alone
in
that
scene
?
Was
it
her
event
only
?
She
forced
herself
to
think
of
it
as
bound
up
with
another
woman
's
life
—
a
woman
towards
whom
she
had
set
out
with
a
longing
to
carry
some
clearness
and
comfort
into
her
beclouded
youth
.
In
her
first
outleap
of
jealous
indignation
and
disgust
,
when
quitting
the
hateful
room
,
she
had
flung
away
all
the
mercy
with
which
she
had
undertaken
that
visit
.
She
had
enveloped
both
Will
and
Rosamond
in
her
burning
scorn
,
and
it
seemed
to
her
as
if
Rosamond
were
burned
out
of
her
sight
forever
.
But
that
base
prompting
which
makes
a
women
more
cruel
to
a
rival
than
to
a
faithless
lover
,
could
have
no
strength
of
recurrence
in
Dorothea
when
the
dominant
spirit
of
justice
within
her
had
once
overcome
the
tumult
and
had
once
shown
her
the
truer
measure
of
things
.
All
the
active
thought
with
which
she
had
before
been
representing
to
herself
the
trials
of
Lydgate
's
lot
,
and
this
young
marriage
union
which
,
like
her
own
,
seemed
to
have
its
hidden
as
well
as
evident
troubles
—
all
this
vivid
sympathetic
experience
returned
to
her
now
as
a
power
:
it
asserted
itself
as
acquired
knowledge
asserts
itself
and
will
not
let
us
see
as
we
saw
in
the
day
of
our
ignorance
.
She
said
to
her
own
irremediable
grief
,
that
it
should
make
her
more
helpful
,
instead
of
driving
her
back
from
effort
.
And
what
sort
of
crisis
might
not
this
be
in
three
lives
whose
contact
with
hers
laid
an
obligation
on
her
as
if
they
had
been
suppliants
bearing
the
sacred
branch
?
The
objects
of
her
rescue
were
not
to
be
sought
out
by
her
fancy
:
they
were
chosen
for
her
.
She
yearned
towards
the
perfect
Right
,
that
it
might
make
a
throne
within
her
,
and
rule
her
errant
will
.
"
What
should
I
do
—
how
should
I
act
now
,
this
very
day
,
if
I
could
clutch
my
own
pain
,
and
compel
it
to
silence
,
and
think
of
those
three
?
"
It
had
taken
long
for
her
to
come
to
that
question
,
and
there
was
light
piercing
into
the
room
.
She
opened
her
curtains
,
and
looked
out
towards
the
bit
of
road
that
lay
in
view
,
with
fields
beyond
outside
the
entrance-gates
.
On
the
road
there
was
a
man
with
a
bundle
on
his
back
and
a
woman
carrying
her
baby
;
in
the
field
she
could
see
figures
moving
—
perhaps
the
shepherd
with
his
dog
.
Far
off
in
the
bending
sky
was
the
pearly
light
;
and
she
felt
the
largeness
of
the
world
and
the
manifold
wakings
of
men
to
labour
and
endurance
.
She
was
a
part
of
that
involuntary
,
palpitating
life
,
and
could
neither
look
out
on
it
from
her
luxurious
shelter
as
a
mere
spectator
,
nor
hide
her
eyes
in
selfish
complaining
.
What
she
would
resolve
to
do
that
day
did
not
yet
seem
quite
clear
,
but
something
that
she
could
achieve
stirred
her
as
with
an
approaching
murmur
which
would
soon
gather
distinctness
.
She
took
off
the
clothes
which
seemed
to
have
some
of
the
weariness
of
a
hard
watching
in
them
,
and
began
to
make
her
toilet
.
Presently
she
rang
for
Tantripp
,
who
came
in
her
dressing-gown
.
"
Why
,
madam
,
you
've
never
been
in
bed
this
blessed
night
,
"
burst
out
Tantripp
,
looking
first
at
the
bed
and
then
at
Dorothea
's
face
,
which
in
spite
of
bathing
had
the
pale
cheeks
and
pink
eyelids
of
a
mater
dolorosa
.
"
You
'll
kill
yourself
,
you
will
.
Anybody
might
think
now
you
had
a
right
to
give
yourself
a
little
comfort
.
"
"
Do
n't
be
alarmed
,
Tantripp
,
"
said
Dorothea
,
smiling
.
"
I
have
slept
;
I
am
not
ill.
I
shall
be
glad
of
a
cup
of
coffee
as
soon
as
possible
.
And
I
want
you
to
bring
me
my
new
dress
;
and
most
likely
I
shall
want
my
new
bonnet
to-day
.
"
"
They
've
lain
there
a
month
and
more
ready
for
you
,
madam
,
and
most
thankful
I
shall
be
to
see
you
with
a
couple
o
'
pounds
'
worth
less
of
crape
,
"
said
Tantripp
,
stooping
to
light
the
fire
.
"
There
's
a
reason
in
mourning
,
as
I
've
always
said
;
and
three
folds
at
the
bottom
of
your
skirt
and
a
plain
quilling
in
your
bonnet
—
and
if
ever
anybody
looked
like
an
angel
,
it
's
you
in
a
net
quilling
—
is
what
's
consistent
for
a
second
year
.
At
least
,
that
's
my
thinking
,
"
ended
Tantripp
,
looking
anxiously
at
the
fire
;
"
and
if
anybody
was
to
marry
me
flattering
himself
I
should
wear
those
hijeous
weepers
two
years
for
him
,
he
'd
be
deceived
by
his
own
vanity
,
that
's
all
.
"
"
The
fire
will
do
,
my
good
Tan
,
"
said
Dorothea
,
speaking
as
she
used
to
do
in
the
old
Lausanne
days
,
only
with
a
very
low
voice
;
"
get
me
the
coffee
.
"
She
folded
herself
in
the
large
chair
,
and
leaned
her
head
against
it
in
fatigued
quiescence
,
while
Tantripp
went
away
wondering
at
this
strange
contrariness
in
her
young
mistress
—
that
just
the
morning
when
she
had
more
of
a
widow
's
face
than
ever
,
she
should
have
asked
for
her
lighter
mourning
which
she
had
waived
before
.
Tantripp
would
never
have
found
the
clew
to
this
mystery
.
Dorothea
wished
to
acknowledge
that
she
had
not
the
less
an
active
life
before
her
because
she
had
buried
a
private
joy
;
and
the
tradition
that
fresh
garments
belonged
to
all
initiation
,
haunting
her
mind
,
made
her
grasp
after
even
that
slight
outward
help
towards
calm
resolve
.
For
the
resolve
was
not
easy
.
Nevertheless
at
eleven
o'clock
she
was
walking
towards
Middlemarch
,
having
made
up
her
mind
that
she
would
make
as
quietly
and
unnoticeably
as
possible
her
second
attempt
to
see
and
save
Rosamond
.
CHAPTER
LXXXI
.
Du
Erde
warst
auch
diese
Nacht
best�ndig
,
Und
athmest
neu
erquickt
zu
meinen
F�ssen
,
Beginnest
schon
mit
Lust
mich
zu
umgeben
,
Du
regst
und
r�hrst
ein
kr�ftiges
Beschliessen
_Zum
h�chsten
Dasein
immerfort
zu
streben_
.
—
Faust
:
2r
Theil
.
When
Dorothea
was
again
at
Lydgate
's
door
speaking
to
Martha
,
he
was
in
the
room
close
by
with
the
door
ajar
,
preparing
to
go
out
.
He
heard
her
voice
,
and
immediately
came
to
her
.
"
Do
you
think
that
Mrs.
Lydgate
can
receive
me
this
morning
?
"
she
said
,
having
reflected
that
it
would
be
better
to
leave
out
all
allusion
to
her
previous
visit
.
"
I
have
no
doubt
she
will
,
"
said
Lydgate
,
suppressing
his
thought
about
Dorothea
's
looks
,
which
were
as
much
changed
as
Rosamond
's
,
"
if
you
will
be
kind
enough
to
come
in
and
let
me
tell
her
that
you
are
here
.
She
has
not
been
very
well
since
you
were
here
yesterday
,
but
she
is
better
this
morning
,
and
I
think
it
is
very
likely
that
she
will
be
cheered
by
seeing
you
again
.
"
It
was
plain
that
Lydgate
,
as
Dorothea
had
expected
,
knew
nothing
about
the
circumstances
of
her
yesterday
's
visit
;
nay
,
he
appeared
to
imagine
that
she
had
carried
it
out
according
to
her
intention
.
She
had
prepared
a
little
note
asking
Rosamond
to
see
her
,
which
she
would
have
given
to
the
servant
if
he
had
not
been
in
the
way
,
but
now
she
was
in
much
anxiety
as
to
the
result
of
his
announcement
.
After
leading
her
into
the
drawing-room
,
he
paused
to
take
a
letter
from
his
pocket
and
put
it
into
her
hands
,
saying
,
"
I
wrote
this
last
night
,
and
was
going
to
carry
it
to
Lowick
in
my
ride
.
When
one
is
grateful
for
something
too
good
for
common
thanks
,
writing
is
less
unsatisfactory
than
speech
—
one
does
not
at
least
hear
how
inadequate
the
words
are
.
"
Dorothea
's
face
brightened
.
"
It
is
I
who
have
most
to
thank
for
,
since
you
have
let
me
take
that
place
.
You
have
consented
?
"
she
said
,
suddenly
doubting
.
"
Yes
,
the
check
is
going
to
Bulstrode
to-day
.
"
He
said
no
more
,
but
went
up-stairs
to
Rosamond
,
who
had
but
lately
finished
dressing
herself
,
and
sat
languidly
wondering
what
she
should
do
next
,
her
habitual
industry
in
small
things
,
even
in
the
days
of
her
sadness
,
prompting
her
to
begin
some
kind
of
occupation
,
which
she
dragged
through
slowly
or
paused
in
from
lack
of
interest
.
She
looked
ill
,
but
had
recovered
her
usual
quietude
of
manner
,
and
Lydgate
had
feared
to
disturb
her
by
any
questions
.
He
had
told
her
of
Dorothea
's
letter
containing
the
check
,
and
afterwards
he
had
said
,
"
Ladislaw
is
come
,
Rosy
;
he
sat
with
me
last
night
;
I
dare
say
he
will
be
here
again
to-day
.
I
thought
he
looked
rather
battered
and
depressed
.
"
And
Rosamond
had
made
no
reply
.
Now
,
when
he
came
up
,
he
said
to
her
very
gently
,
"
Rosy
,
dear
,
Mrs.
Casaubon
is
come
to
see
you
again
;
you
would
like
to
see
her
,
would
you
not
?
"
That
she
coloured
and
gave
rather
a
startled
movement
did
not
surprise
him
after
the
agitation
produced
by
the
interview
yesterday
—
a
beneficent
agitation
,
he
thought
,
since
it
seemed
to
have
made
her
turn
to
him
again
.
Rosamond
dared
not
say
no.
She
dared
not
with
a
tone
of
her
voice
touch
the
facts
of
yesterday
.
Why
had
Mrs.
Casaubon
come
again
?
The
answer
was
a
blank
which
Rosamond
could
only
fill
up
with
dread
,
for
Will
Ladislaw
's
lacerating
words
had
made
every
thought
of
Dorothea
a
fresh
smart
to
her
.
Nevertheless
,
in
her
new
humiliating
uncertainty
she
dared
do
nothing
but
comply
.
She
did
not
say
yes
,
but
she
rose
and
let
Lydgate
put
a
light
shawl
over
her
shoulders
,
while
he
said
,
"
I
am
going
out
immediately
.
"
Then
something
crossed
her
mind
which
prompted
her
to
say
,
"
Pray
tell
Martha
not
to
bring
any
one
else
into
the
drawing-room
.
"
And
Lydgate
assented
,
thinking
that
he
fully
understood
this
wish
.
He
led
her
down
to
the
drawing-room
door
,
and
then
turned
away
,
observing
to
himself
that
he
was
rather
a
blundering
husband
to
be
dependent
for
his
wife
's
trust
in
him
on
the
influence
of
another
woman
.
Rosamond
,
wrapping
her
soft
shawl
around
her
as
she
walked
towards
Dorothea
,
was
inwardly
wrapping
her
soul
in
cold
reserve
.
Had
Mrs.
Casaubon
come
to
say
anything
to
her
about
Will
?
If
so
,
it
was
a
liberty
that
Rosamond
resented
;
and
she
prepared
herself
to
meet
every
word
with
polite
impassibility
.
Will
had
bruised
her
pride
too
sorely
for
her
to
feel
any
compunction
towards
him
and
Dorothea
:
her
own
injury
seemed
much
the
greater
.
Dorothea
was
not
only
the
"
preferred
"
woman
,
but
had
also
a
formidable
advantage
in
being
Lydgate
's
benefactor
;
and
to
poor
Rosamond
's
pained
confused
vision
it
seemed
that
this
Mrs.
Casaubon
—
this
woman
who
predominated
in
all
things
concerning
her
—
must
have
come
now
with
the
sense
of
having
the
advantage
,
and
with
animosity
prompting
her
to
use
it
.
Indeed
,
not
Rosamond
only
,
but
any
one
else
,
knowing
the
outer
facts
of
the
case
,
and
not
the
simple
inspiration
on
which
Dorothea
acted
,
might
well
have
wondered
why
she
came
.
Looking
like
the
lovely
ghost
of
herself
,
her
graceful
slimness
wrapped
in
her
soft
white
shawl
,
the
rounded
infantine
mouth
and
cheek
inevitably
suggesting
mildness
and
innocence
,
Rosamond
paused
at
three
yards
'
distance
from
her
visitor
and
bowed
.
But
Dorothea
,
who
had
taken
off
her
gloves
,
from
an
impulse
which
she
could
never
resist
when
she
wanted
a
sense
of
freedom
,
came
forward
,
and
with
her
face
full
of
a
sad
yet
sweet
openness
,
put
out
her
hand
.
Rosamond
could
not
avoid
meeting
her
glance
,
could
not
avoid
putting
her
small
hand
into
Dorothea
's
,
which
clasped
it
with
gentle
motherliness
;
and
immediately
a
doubt
of
her
own
prepossessions
began
to
stir
within
her
.
Rosamond
's
eye
was
quick
for
faces
;
she
saw
that
Mrs.
Casaubon
's
face
looked
pale
and
changed
since
yesterday
,
yet
gentle
,
and
like
the
firm
softness
of
her
hand
.
But
Dorothea
had
counted
a
little
too
much
on
her
own
strength
:
the
clearness
and
intensity
of
her
mental
action
this
morning
were
the
continuance
of
a
nervous
exaltation
which
made
her
frame
as
dangerously
responsive
as
a
bit
of
finest
Venetian
crystal
;
and
in
looking
at
Rosamond
,
she
suddenly
found
her
heart
swelling
,
and
was
unable
to
speak
—
all
her
effort
was
required
to
keep
back
tears
.
She
succeeded
in
that
,
and
the
emotion
only
passed
over
her
face
like
the
spirit
of
a
sob
;
but
it
added
to
Rosamond
's
impression
that
Mrs.
Casaubon
's
state
of
mind
must
be
something
quite
different
from
what
she
had
imagined
.
So
they
sat
down
without
a
word
of
preface
on
the
two
chairs
that
happened
to
be
nearest
,
and
happened
also
to
be
close
together
;
though
Rosamond
's
notion
when
she
first
bowed
was
that
she
should
stay
a
long
way
off
from
Mrs.
Casaubon
.
But
she
ceased
thinking
how
anything
would
turn
out
—
merely
wondering
what
would
come
.
And
Dorothea
began
to
speak
quite
simply
,
gathering
firmness
as
she
went
on
.
"
I
had
an
errand
yesterday
which
I
did
not
finish
;
that
is
why
I
am
here
again
so
soon
.
You
will
not
think
me
too
troublesome
when
I
tell
you
that
I
came
to
talk
to
you
about
the
injustice
that
has
been
shown
towards
Mr.
Lydgate
.
It
will
cheer
you
—
will
it
not
?
—
to
know
a
great
deal
about
him
,
that
he
may
not
like
to
speak
about
himself
just
because
it
is
in
his
own
vindication
and
to
his
own
honour
.
You
will
like
to
know
that
your
husband
has
warm
friends
,
who
have
not
left
off
believing
in
his
high
character
?
You
will
let
me
speak
of
this
without
thinking
that
I
take
a
liberty
?
"
The
cordial
,
pleading
tones
which
seemed
to
flow
with
generous
heedlessness
above
all
the
facts
which
had
filled
Rosamond
's
mind
as
grounds
of
obstruction
and
hatred
between
her
and
this
woman
,
came
as
soothingly
as
a
warm
stream
over
her
shrinking
fears
.
Of
course
Mrs.
Casaubon
had
the
facts
in
her
mind
,
but
she
was
not
going
to
speak
of
anything
connected
with
them
.
That
relief
was
too
great
for
Rosamond
to
feel
much
else
at
the
moment
.
She
answered
prettily
,
in
the
new
ease
of
her
soul
—
"
I
know
you
have
been
very
good
.
I
shall
like
to
hear
anything
you
will
say
to
me
about
Tertius
.
"
"
The
day
before
yesterday
,
"
said
Dorothea
,
"
when
I
had
asked
him
to
come
to
Lowick
to
give
me
his
opinion
on
the
affairs
of
the
Hospital
,
he
told
me
everything
about
his
conduct
and
feelings
in
this
sad
event
which
has
made
ignorant
people
cast
suspicions
on
him
.
The
reason
he
told
me
was
because
I
was
very
bold
and
asked
him
.
I
believed
that
he
had
never
acted
dishonourably
,
and
I
begged
him
to
tell
me
the
history
.
He
confessed
to
me
that
he
had
never
told
it
before
,
not
even
to
you
,
because
he
had
a
great
dislike
to
say
,
'
I
was
not
wrong
,
'
as
if
that
were
proof
,
when
there
are
guilty
people
who
will
say
so
.
The
truth
is
,
he
knew
nothing
of
this
man
Raffles
,
or
that
there
were
any
bad
secrets
about
him
;
and
he
thought
that
Mr.
Bulstrode
offered
him
the
money
because
he
repented
,
out
of
kindness
,
of
having
refused
it
before
.
All
his
anxiety
about
his
patient
was
to
treat
him
rightly
,
and
he
was
a
little
uncomfortable
that
the
case
did
not
end
as
he
had
expected
;
but
he
thought
then
and
still
thinks
that
there
may
have
been
no
wrong
in
it
on
any
one
's
part
.
And
I
have
told
Mr.
Farebrother
,
and
Mr.
Brooke
,
and
Sir
James
Chettam
:
they
all
believe
in
your
husband
.
That
will
cheer
you
,
will
it
not
?
That
will
give
you
courage
?
"
Dorothea
's
face
had
become
animated
,
and
as
it
beamed
on
Rosamond
very
close
to
her
,
she
felt
something
like
bashful
timidity
before
a
superior
,
in
the
presence
of
this
self-forgetful
ardor
.
She
said
,
with
blushing
embarrassment
,
"
Thank
you
:
you
are
very
kind
.
"
"
And
he
felt
that
he
had
been
so
wrong
not
to
pour
out
everything
about
this
to
you
.
But
you
will
forgive
him
.
It
was
because
he
feels
so
much
more
about
your
happiness
than
anything
else
—
he
feels
his
life
bound
into
one
with
yours
,
and
it
hurts
him
more
than
anything
,
that
his
misfortunes
must
hurt
you
.
He
could
speak
to
me
because
I
am
an
indifferent
person
.
And
then
I
asked
him
if
I
might
come
to
see
you
;
because
I
felt
so
much
for
his
trouble
and
yours
.
That
is
why
I
came
yesterday
,
and
why
I
am
come
to-day
.
Trouble
is
so
hard
to
bear
,
is
it
not
?
—
How
can
we
live
and
think
that
any
one
has
trouble
—
piercing
trouble
—
and
we
could
help
them
,
and
never
try
?
"
Dorothea
,
completely
swayed
by
the
feeling
that
she
was
uttering
,
forgot
everything
but
that
she
was
speaking
from
out
the
heart
of
her
own
trial
to
Rosamond
's
.
The
emotion
had
wrought
itself
more
and
more
into
her
utterance
,
till
the
tones
might
have
gone
to
one
's
very
marrow
,
like
a
low
cry
from
some
suffering
creature
in
the
darkness
.
And
she
had
unconsciously
laid
her
hand
again
on
the
little
hand
that
she
had
pressed
before
.
Rosamond
,
with
an
overmastering
pang
,
as
if
a
wound
within
her
had
been
probed
,
burst
into
hysterical
crying
as
she
had
done
the
day
before
when
she
clung
to
her
husband
.
Poor
Dorothea
was
feeling
a
great
wave
of
her
own
sorrow
returning
over
her
—
her
thought
being
drawn
to
the
possible
share
that
Will
Ladislaw
might
have
in
Rosamond
's
mental
tumult
.
She
was
beginning
to
fear
that
she
should
not
be
able
to
suppress
herself
enough
to
the
end
of
this
meeting
,
and
while
her
hand
was
still
resting
on
Rosamond
's
lap
,
though
the
hand
underneath
it
was
withdrawn
,
she
was
struggling
against
her
own
rising
sobs
.
She
tried
to
master
herself
with
the
thought
that
this
might
be
a
turning-point
in
three
lives
—
not
in
her
own
;
no
,
there
the
irrevocable
had
happened
,
but
—
in
those
three
lives
which
were
touching
hers
with
the
solemn
neighborhood
of
danger
and
distress
.
The
fragile
creature
who
was
crying
close
to
her
—
there
might
still
be
time
to
rescue
her
from
the
misery
of
false
incompatible
bonds
;
and
this
moment
was
unlike
any
other
:
she
and
Rosamond
could
never
be
together
again
with
the
same
thrilling
consciousness
of
yesterday
within
them
both
.
She
felt
the
relation
between
them
to
be
peculiar
enough
to
give
her
a
peculiar
influence
,
though
she
had
no
conception
that
the
way
in
which
her
own
feelings
were
involved
was
fully
known
to
Mrs.
Lydgate
.
It
was
a
newer
crisis
in
Rosamond
's
experience
than
even
Dorothea
could
imagine
:
she
was
under
the
first
great
shock
that
had
shattered
her
dream-world
in
which
she
had
been
easily
confident
of
herself
and
critical
of
others
;
and
this
strange
unexpected
manifestation
of
feeling
in
a
woman
whom
she
had
approached
with
a
shrinking
aversion
and
dread
,
as
one
who
must
necessarily
have
a
jealous
hatred
towards
her
,
made
her
soul
totter
all
the
more
with
a
sense
that
she
had
been
walking
in
an
unknown
world
which
had
just
broken
in
upon
her
.
When
Rosamond
's
convulsed
throat
was
subsiding
into
calm
,
and
she
withdrew
the
handkerchief
with
which
she
had
been
hiding
her
face
,
her
eyes
met
Dorothea
's
as
helplessly
as
if
they
had
been
blue
flowers
.
What
was
the
use
of
thinking
about
behavior
after
this
crying
?
And
Dorothea
looked
almost
as
childish
,
with
the
neglected
trace
of
a
silent
tear
.
Pride
was
broken
down
between
these
two
.
"
We
were
talking
about
your
husband
,
"
Dorothea
said
,
with
some
timidity
.
"
I
thought
his
looks
were
sadly
changed
with
suffering
the
other
day
.
I
had
not
seen
him
for
many
weeks
before
.
He
said
he
had
been
feeling
very
lonely
in
his
trial
;
but
I
think
he
would
have
borne
it
all
better
if
he
had
been
able
to
be
quite
open
with
you
.
"
"
Tertius
is
so
angry
and
impatient
if
I
say
anything
,
"
said
Rosamond
,
imagining
that
he
had
been
complaining
of
her
to
Dorothea
.
"
He
ought
not
to
wonder
that
I
object
to
speak
to
him
on
painful
subjects
.
"
"
It
was
himself
he
blamed
for
not
speaking
,
"
said
Dorothea
.
"
What
he
said
of
you
was
,
that
he
could
not
be
happy
in
doing
anything
which
made
you
unhappy
—
that
his
marriage
was
of
course
a
bond
which
must
affect
his
choice
about
everything
;
and
for
that
reason
he
refused
my
proposal
that
he
should
keep
his
position
at
the
Hospital
,
because
that
would
bind
him
to
stay
in
Middlemarch
,
and
he
would
not
undertake
to
do
anything
which
would
be
painful
to
you
.
He
could
say
that
to
me
,
because
he
knows
that
I
had
much
trial
in
my
marriage
,
from
my
husband
's
illness
,
which
hindered
his
plans
and
saddened
him
;
and
he
knows
that
I
have
felt
how
hard
it
is
to
walk
always
in
fear
of
hurting
another
who
is
tied
to
us
.
"
Dorothea
waited
a
little
;
she
had
discerned
a
faint
pleasure
stealing
over
Rosamond
's
face
.
But
there
was
no
answer
,
and
she
went
on
,
with
a
gathering
tremor
,
"
Marriage
is
so
unlike
everything
else
.
There
is
something
even
awful
in
the
nearness
it
brings
.
Even
if
we
loved
some
one
else
better
than
—
than
those
we
were
married
to
,
it
would
be
no
use
"
—
poor
Dorothea
,
in
her
palpitating
anxiety
,
could
only
seize
her
language
brokenly
—
"
I
mean
,
marriage
drinks
up
all
our
power
of
giving
or
getting
any
blessedness
in
that
sort
of
love
.
I
know
it
may
be
very
dear
—
but
it
murders
our
marriage
—
and
then
the
marriage
stays
with
us
like
a
murder
—
and
everything
else
is
gone
.
And
then
our
husband
—
if
he
loved
and
trusted
us
,
and
we
have
not
helped
him
,
but
made
a
curse
in
his
life
—
"
Her
voice
had
sunk
very
low
:
there
was
a
dread
upon
her
of
presuming
too
far
,
and
of
speaking
as
if
she
herself
were
perfection
addressing
error
.
She
was
too
much
preoccupied
with
her
own
anxiety
,
to
be
aware
that
Rosamond
was
trembling
too
;
and
filled
with
the
need
to
express
pitying
fellowship
rather
than
rebuke
,
she
put
her
hands
on
Rosamond
's
,
and
said
with
more
agitated
rapidity
,
—
"
I
know
,
I
know
that
the
feeling
may
be
very
dear
—
it
has
taken
hold
of
us
unawares
—
it
is
so
hard
,
it
may
seem
like
death
to
part
with
it
—
and
we
are
weak
—
I
am
weak
—
"
The
waves
of
her
own
sorrow
,
from
out
of
which
she
was
struggling
to
save
another
,
rushed
over
Dorothea
with
conquering
force
.
She
stopped
in
speechless
agitation
,
not
crying
,
but
feeling
as
if
she
were
being
inwardly
grappled
.
Her
face
had
become
of
a
deathlier
paleness
,
her
lips
trembled
,
and
she
pressed
her
hands
helplessly
on
the
hands
that
lay
under
them
.
Rosamond
,
taken
hold
of
by
an
emotion
stronger
than
her
own
—
hurried
along
in
a
new
movement
which
gave
all
things
some
new
,
awful
,
undefined
aspect
—
could
find
no
words
,
but
involuntarily
she
put
her
lips
to
Dorothea
's
forehead
which
was
very
near
her
,
and
then
for
a
minute
the
two
women
clasped
each
other
as
if
they
had
been
in
a
shipwreck
.
"
You
are
thinking
what
is
not
true
,
"
said
Rosamond
,
in
an
eager
half-whisper
,
while
she
was
still
feeling
Dorothea
's
arms
round
her
—
urged
by
a
mysterious
necessity
to
free
herself
from
something
that
oppressed
her
as
if
it
were
blood
guiltiness
.
They
moved
apart
,
looking
at
each
other
.
"
When
you
came
in
yesterday
—
it
was
not
as
you
thought
,
"
said
Rosamond
in
the
same
tone
.
There
was
a
movement
of
surprised
attention
in
Dorothea
.
She
expected
a
vindication
of
Rosamond
herself
.
"
He
was
telling
me
how
he
loved
another
woman
,
that
I
might
know
he
could
never
love
me
,
"
said
Rosamond
,
getting
more
and
more
hurried
as
she
went
on
.
"
And
now
I
think
he
hates
me
because
—
because
you
mistook
him
yesterday
.
He
says
it
is
through
me
that
you
will
think
ill
of
him
—
think
that
he
is
a
false
person
.
But
it
shall
not
be
through
me
.
He
has
never
had
any
love
for
me
—
I
know
he
has
not
—
he
has
always
thought
slightly
of
me
.
He
said
yesterday
that
no
other
woman
existed
for
him
beside
you
.
The
blame
of
what
happened
is
entirely
mine
.
He
said
he
could
never
explain
to
you
—
because
of
me
.
He
said
you
could
never
think
well
of
him
again
.
But
now
I
have
told
you
,
and
he
cannot
reproach
me
any
more
.
"
Rosamond
had
delivered
her
soul
under
impulses
which
she
had
not
known
before
.
She
had
begun
her
confession
under
the
subduing
influence
of
Dorothea
's
emotion
;
and
as
she
went
on
she
had
gathered
the
sense
that
she
was
repelling
Will
's
reproaches
,
which
were
still
like
a
knife-wound
within
her
.
The
revulsion
of
feeling
in
Dorothea
was
too
strong
to
be
called
joy
.
It
was
a
tumult
in
which
the
terrible
strain
of
the
night
and
morning
made
a
resistant
pain
:
—
she
could
only
perceive
that
this
would
be
joy
when
she
had
recovered
her
power
of
feeling
it
.
Her
immediate
consciousness
was
one
of
immense
sympathy
without
check
;
she
cared
for
Rosamond
without
struggle
now
,
and
responded
earnestly
to
her
last
words
—
"
No
,
he
cannot
reproach
you
any
more
.
"
With
her
usual
tendency
to
over-estimate
the
good
in
others
,
she
felt
a
great
outgoing
of
her
heart
towards
Rosamond
,
for
the
generous
effort
which
had
redeemed
her
from
suffering
,
not
counting
that
the
effort
was
a
reflex
of
her
own
energy
.
After
they
had
been
silent
a
little
,
she
said
—
"
You
are
not
sorry
that
I
came
this
morning
?
"
"
No
,
you
have
been
very
good
to
me
,
"
said
Rosamond
.
"
I
did
not
think
that
you
would
be
so
good
.
I
was
very
unhappy
.
I
am
not
happy
now
.
Everything
is
so
sad
.
"
"
But
better
days
will
come
.
Your
husband
will
be
rightly
valued
.
And
he
depends
on
you
for
comfort
.
He
loves
you
best
.
The
worst
loss
would
be
to
lose
that
—
and
you
have
not
lost
it
,
"
said
Dorothea
.
She
tried
to
thrust
away
the
too
overpowering
thought
of
her
own
relief
,
lest
she
should
fail
to
win
some
sign
that
Rosamond
's
affection
was
yearning
back
towards
her
husband
.
"
Tertius
did
not
find
fault
with
me
,
then
?
"
said
Rosamond
,
understanding
now
that
Lydgate
might
have
said
anything
to
Mrs.
Casaubon
,
and
that
she
certainly
was
different
from
other
women
.
Perhaps
there
was
a
faint
taste
of
jealousy
in
the
question
.
A
smile
began
to
play
over
Dorothea
's
face
as
she
said
—
"
No
,
indeed
!
How
could
you
imagine
it
?
"
But
here
the
door
opened
,
and
Lydgate
entered
.
"
I
am
come
back
in
my
quality
of
doctor
,
"
he
said
.
"
After
I
went
away
,
I
was
haunted
by
two
pale
faces
:
Mrs.
Casaubon
looked
as
much
in
need
of
care
as
you
,
Rosy
.
And
I
thought
that
I
had
not
done
my
duty
in
leaving
you
together
;
so
when
I
had
been
to
Coleman
's
I
came
home
again
.
I
noticed
that
you
were
walking
,
Mrs.
Casaubon
,
and
the
sky
has
changed
—
I
think
we
may
have
rain
.
May
I
send
some
one
to
order
your
carriage
to
come
for
you
?
"
"
Oh
,
no
!
I
am
strong
:
I
need
the
walk
,
"
said
Dorothea
,
rising
with
animation
in
her
face
.
"
Mrs.
Lydgate
and
I
have
chatted
a
great
deal
,
and
it
is
time
for
me
to
go
.
I
have
always
been
accused
of
being
immoderate
and
saying
too
much
.
"
She
put
out
her
hand
to
Rosamond
,
and
they
said
an
earnest
,
quiet
good-by
without
kiss
or
other
show
of
effusion
:
there
had
been
between
them
too
much
serious
emotion
for
them
to
use
the
signs
of
it
superficially
.
As
Lydgate
took
her
to
the
door
she
said
nothing
of
Rosamond
,
but
told
him
of
Mr.
Farebrother
and
the
other
friends
who
had
listened
with
belief
to
his
story
.
When
he
came
back
to
Rosamond
,
she
had
already
thrown
herself
on
the
sofa
,
in
resigned
fatigue
.
"
Well
,
Rosy
,
"
he
said
,
standing
over
her
,
and
touching
her
hair
,
"
what
do
you
think
of
Mrs.
Casaubon
now
you
have
seen
so
much
of
her
?
"
"
I
think
she
must
be
better
than
any
one
,
"
said
Rosamond
,
"
and
she
is
very
beautiful
.
If
you
go
to
talk
to
her
so
often
,
you
will
be
more
discontented
with
me
than
ever
!
"
Lydgate
laughed
at
the
"
so
often
.
"
"
But
has
she
made
you
any
less
discontented
with
me
?
"
"
I
think
she
has
,
"
said
Rosamond
,
looking
up
in
his
face
.
"
How
heavy
your
eyes
are
,
Tertius
—
and
do
push
your
hair
back
.
"
He
lifted
up
his
large
white
hand
to
obey
her
,
and
felt
thankful
for
this
little
mark
of
interest
in
him
.
Poor
Rosamond
's
vagrant
fancy
had
come
back
terribly
scourged
—
meek
enough
to
nestle
under
the
old
despised
shelter
.
And
the
shelter
was
still
there
:
Lydgate
had
accepted
his
narrowed
lot
with
sad
resignation
.
He
had
chosen
this
fragile
creature
,
and
had
taken
the
burthen
of
her
life
upon
his
arms
.
He
must
walk
as
he
could
,
carrying
that
burthen
pitifully
.
CHAPTER
LXXXII
.
"
My
grief
lies
onward
and
my
joy
behind
.
"
—
SHAKESPEARE
:
Sonnets
.
Exiles
notoriously
feed
much
on
hopes
,
and
are
unlikely
to
stay
in
banishment
unless
they
are
obliged
.
When
Will
Ladislaw
exiled
himself
from
Middlemarch
he
had
placed
no
stronger
obstacle
to
his
return
than
his
own
resolve
,
which
was
by
no
means
an
iron
barrier
,
but
simply
a
state
of
mind
liable
to
melt
into
a
minuet
with
other
states
of
mind
,
and
to
find
itself
bowing
,
smiling
,
and
giving
place
with
polite
facility
.
As
the
months
went
on
,
it
had
seemed
more
and
more
difficult
to
him
to
say
why
he
should
not
run
down
to
Middlemarch
—
merely
for
the
sake
of
hearing
something
about
Dorothea
;
and
if
on
such
a
flying
visit
he
should
chance
by
some
strange
coincidence
to
meet
with
her
,
there
was
no
reason
for
him
to
be
ashamed
of
having
taken
an
innocent
journey
which
he
had
beforehand
supposed
that
he
should
not
take
.
Since
he
was
hopelessly
divided
from
her
,
he
might
surely
venture
into
her
neighborhood
;
and
as
to
the
suspicious
friends
who
kept
a
dragon
watch
over
her
—
their
opinions
seemed
less
and
less
important
with
time
and
change
of
air
.
And
there
had
come
a
reason
quite
irrespective
of
Dorothea
,
which
seemed
to
make
a
journey
to
Middlemarch
a
sort
of
philanthropic
duty
.
Will
had
given
a
disinterested
attention
to
an
intended
settlement
on
a
new
plan
in
the
Far
West
,
and
the
need
for
funds
in
order
to
carry
out
a
good
design
had
set
him
on
debating
with
himself
whether
it
would
not
be
a
laudable
use
to
make
of
his
claim
on
Bulstrode
,
to
urge
the
application
of
that
money
which
had
been
offered
to
himself
as
a
means
of
carrying
out
a
scheme
likely
to
be
largely
beneficial
.
The
question
seemed
a
very
dubious
one
to
Will
,
and
his
repugnance
to
again
entering
into
any
relation
with
the
banker
might
have
made
him
dismiss
it
quickly
,
if
there
had
not
arisen
in
his
imagination
the
probability
that
his
judgment
might
be
more
safely
determined
by
a
visit
to
Middlemarch
.
That
was
the
object
which
Will
stated
to
himself
as
a
reason
for
coming
down
.
He
had
meant
to
confide
in
Lydgate
,
and
discuss
the
money
question
with
him
,
and
he
had
meant
to
amuse
himself
for
the
few
evenings
of
his
stay
by
having
a
great
deal
of
music
and
badinage
with
fair
Rosamond
,
without
neglecting
his
friends
at
Lowick
Parsonage
:
—
if
the
Parsonage
was
close
to
the
Manor
,
that
was
no
fault
of
his
.
He
had
neglected
the
Farebrothers
before
his
departure
,
from
a
proud
resistance
to
the
possible
accusation
of
indirectly
seeking
interviews
with
Dorothea
;
but
hunger
tames
us
,
and
Will
had
become
very
hungry
for
the
vision
of
a
certain
form
and
the
sound
of
a
certain
voice
.
Nothing
had
done
instead
—
not
the
opera
,
or
the
converse
of
zealous
politicians
,
or
the
flattering
reception
(
in
dim
corners
)
of
his
new
hand
in
leading
articles
.
Thus
he
had
come
down
,
foreseeing
with
confidence
how
almost
everything
would
be
in
his
familiar
little
world
;
fearing
,
indeed
,
that
there
would
be
no
surprises
in
his
visit
.
But
he
had
found
that
humdrum
world
in
a
terribly
dynamic
condition
,
in
which
even
badinage
and
lyrism
had
turned
explosive
;
and
the
first
day
of
this
visit
had
become
the
most
fatal
epoch
of
his
life
.
The
next
morning
he
felt
so
harassed
with
the
nightmare
of
consequences
—
he
dreaded
so
much
the
immediate
issues
before
him
—
that
seeing
while
he
breakfasted
the
arrival
of
the
Riverston
coach
,
he
went
out
hurriedly
and
took
his
place
on
it
,
that
he
might
be
relieved
,
at
least
for
a
day
,
from
the
necessity
of
doing
or
saying
anything
in
Middlemarch
.
Will
Ladislaw
was
in
one
of
those
tangled
crises
which
are
commoner
in
experience
than
one
might
imagine
,
from
the
shallow
absoluteness
of
men
's
judgments
.
He
had
found
Lydgate
,
for
whom
he
had
the
sincerest
respect
,
under
circumstances
which
claimed
his
thorough
and
frankly
declared
sympathy
;
and
the
reason
why
,
in
spite
of
that
claim
,
it
would
have
been
better
for
Will
to
have
avoided
all
further
intimacy
,
or
even
contact
,
with
Lydgate
,
was
precisely
of
the
kind
to
make
such
a
course
appear
impossible
.
To
a
creature
of
Will
's
susceptible
temperament
—
without
any
neutral
region
of
indifference
in
his
nature
,
ready
to
turn
everything
that
befell
him
into
the
collisions
of
a
passionate
drama
—
the
revelation
that
Rosamond
had
made
her
happiness
in
any
way
dependent
on
him
was
a
difficulty
which
his
outburst
of
rage
towards
her
had
immeasurably
increased
for
him
.
He
hated
his
own
cruelty
,
and
yet
he
dreaded
to
show
the
fulness
of
his
relenting
:
he
must
go
to
her
again
;
the
friendship
could
not
be
put
to
a
sudden
end
;
and
her
unhappiness
was
a
power
which
he
dreaded
.
And
all
the
while
there
was
no
more
foretaste
of
enjoyment
in
the
life
before
him
than
if
his
limbs
had
been
lopped
off
and
he
was
making
his
fresh
start
on
crutches
.
In
the
night
he
had
debated
whether
he
should
not
get
on
the
coach
,
not
for
Riverston
,
but
for
London
,
leaving
a
note
to
Lydgate
which
would
give
a
makeshift
reason
for
his
retreat
.
But
there
were
strong
cords
pulling
him
back
from
that
abrupt
departure
:
the
blight
on
his
happiness
in
thinking
of
Dorothea
,
the
crushing
of
that
chief
hope
which
had
remained
in
spite
of
the
acknowledged
necessity
for
renunciation
,
was
too
fresh
a
misery
for
him
to
resign
himself
to
it
and
go
straightway
into
a
distance
which
was
also
despair
.
Thus
he
did
nothing
more
decided
than
taking
the
Riverston
coach
.
He
came
back
again
by
it
while
it
was
still
daylight
,
having
made
up
his
mind
that
he
must
go
to
Lydgate
's
that
evening
.
The
Rubicon
,
we
know
,
was
a
very
insignificant
stream
to
look
at
;
its
significance
lay
entirely
in
certain
invisible
conditions
.
Will
felt
as
if
he
were
forced
to
cross
his
small
boundary
ditch
,
and
what
he
saw
beyond
it
was
not
empire
,
but
discontented
subjection
.
But
it
is
given
to
us
sometimes
even
in
our
every-day
life
to
witness
the
saving
influence
of
a
noble
nature
,
the
divine
efficacy
of
rescue
that
may
lie
in
a
self-subduing
act
of
fellowship
.
If
Dorothea
,
after
her
night
's
anguish
,
had
not
taken
that
walk
to
Rosamond
—
why
,
she
perhaps
would
have
been
a
woman
who
gained
a
higher
character
for
discretion
,
but
it
would
certainly
not
have
been
as
well
for
those
three
who
were
on
one
hearth
in
Lydgate
's
house
at
half-past
seven
that
evening
.
Rosamond
had
been
prepared
for
Will
's
visit
,
and
she
received
him
with
a
languid
coldness
which
Lydgate
accounted
for
by
her
nervous
exhaustion
,
of
which
he
could
not
suppose
that
it
had
any
relation
to
Will
.
And
when
she
sat
in
silence
bending
over
a
bit
of
work
,
he
innocently
apologized
for
her
in
an
indirect
way
by
begging
her
to
lean
backward
and
rest
.
Will
was
miserable
in
the
necessity
for
playing
the
part
of
a
friend
who
was
making
his
first
appearance
and
greeting
to
Rosamond
,
while
his
thoughts
were
busy
about
her
feeling
since
that
scene
of
yesterday
,
which
seemed
still
inexorably
to
enclose
them
both
,
like
the
painful
vision
of
a
double
madness
.
It
happened
that
nothing
called
Lydgate
out
of
the
room
;
but
when
Rosamond
poured
out
the
tea
,
and
Will
came
near
to
fetch
it
,
she
placed
a
tiny
bit
of
folded
paper
in
his
saucer
.
He
saw
it
and
secured
it
quickly
,
but
as
he
went
back
to
his
inn
he
had
no
eagerness
to
unfold
the
paper
.
What
Rosamond
had
written
to
him
would
probably
deepen
the
painful
impressions
of
the
evening
.
Still
,
he
opened
and
read
it
by
his
bed-candle
.
There
were
only
these
few
words
in
her
neatly
flowing
hand
:
—
"
I
have
told
Mrs.
Casaubon
.
She
is
not
under
any
mistake
about
you
.
I
told
her
because
she
came
to
see
me
and
was
very
kind
.
You
will
have
nothing
to
reproach
me
with
now
.
I
shall
not
have
made
any
difference
to
you
.
"
The
effect
of
these
words
was
not
quite
all
gladness
.
As
Will
dwelt
on
them
with
excited
imagination
,
he
felt
his
cheeks
and
ears
burning
at
the
thought
of
what
had
occurred
between
Dorothea
and
Rosamond
—
at
the
uncertainty
how
far
Dorothea
might
still
feel
her
dignity
wounded
in
having
an
explanation
of
his
conduct
offered
to
her
.
There
might
still
remain
in
her
mind
a
changed
association
with
him
which
made
an
irremediable
difference
—
a
lasting
flaw
.
With
active
fancy
he
wrought
himself
into
a
state
of
doubt
little
more
easy
than
that
of
the
man
who
has
escaped
from
wreck
by
night
and
stands
on
unknown
ground
in
the
darkness
.
Until
that
wretched
yesterday
—
except
the
moment
of
vexation
long
ago
in
the
very
same
room
and
in
the
very
same
presence
—
all
their
vision
,
all
their
thought
of
each
other
,
had
been
as
in
a
world
apart
,
where
the
sunshine
fell
on
tall
white
lilies
,
where
no
evil
lurked
,
and
no
other
soul
entered
.
But
now
—
would
Dorothea
meet
him
in
that
world
again
?
CHAPTER
LXXXIII
.
"
And
now
good-morrow
to
our
waking
souls
Which
watch
not
one
another
out
of
fear
;
For
love
all
love
of
other
sights
controls
,
And
makes
one
little
room
,
an
everywhere
.
"
—
DR.
DONNE
.
On
the
second
morning
after
Dorothea
's
visit
to
Rosamond
,
she
had
had
two
nights
of
sound
sleep
,
and
had
not
only
lost
all
traces
of
fatigue
,
but
felt
as
if
she
had
a
great
deal
of
superfluous
strength
—
that
is
to
say
,
more
strength
than
she
could
manage
to
concentrate
on
any
occupation
.
The
day
before
,
she
had
taken
long
walks
outside
the
grounds
,
and
had
paid
two
visits
to
the
Parsonage
;
but
she
never
in
her
life
told
any
one
the
reason
why
she
spent
her
time
in
that
fruitless
manner
,
and
this
morning
she
was
rather
angry
with
herself
for
her
childish
restlessness
.
To-day
was
to
be
spent
quite
differently
.
What
was
there
to
be
done
in
the
village
?
Oh
dear
!
nothing
.
Everybody
was
well
and
had
flannel
;
nobody
's
pig
had
died
;
and
it
was
Saturday
morning
,
when
there
was
a
general
scrubbing
of
doors
and
door-stones
,
and
when
it
was
useless
to
go
into
the
school
.
But
there
were
various
subjects
that
Dorothea
was
trying
to
get
clear
upon
,
and
she
resolved
to
throw
herself
energetically
into
the
gravest
of
all
.
She
sat
down
in
the
library
before
her
particular
little
heap
of
books
on
political
economy
and
kindred
matters
,
out
of
which
she
was
trying
to
get
light
as
to
the
best
way
of
spending
money
so
as
not
to
injure
one
's
neighbors
,
or
—
what
comes
to
the
same
thing
—
so
as
to
do
them
the
most
good
.
Here
was
a
weighty
subject
which
,
if
she
could
but
lay
hold
of
it
,
would
certainly
keep
her
mind
steady
.
Unhappily
her
mind
slipped
off
it
for
a
whole
hour
;
and
at
the
end
she
found
herself
reading
sentences
twice
over
with
an
intense
consciousness
of
many
things
,
but
not
of
any
one
thing
contained
in
the
text
.
This
was
hopeless
.
Should
she
order
the
carriage
and
drive
to
Tipton
?
No
;
for
some
reason
or
other
she
preferred
staying
at
Lowick
.
But
her
vagrant
mind
must
be
reduced
to
order
:
there
was
an
art
in
self-discipline
;
and
she
walked
round
and
round
the
brown
library
considering
by
what
sort
of
manoeuvre
she
could
arrest
her
wandering
thoughts
.
Perhaps
a
mere
task
was
the
best
means
—
something
to
which
she
must
go
doggedly
.
Was
there
not
the
geography
of
Asia
Minor
,
in
which
her
slackness
had
often
been
rebuked
by
Mr.
Casaubon
?
She
went
to
the
cabinet
of
maps
and
unrolled
one
:
this
morning
she
might
make
herself
finally
sure
that
Paphlagonia
was
not
on
the
Levantine
coast
,
and
fix
her
total
darkness
about
the
Chalybes
firmly
on
the
shores
of
the
Euxine
.
A
map
was
a
fine
thing
to
study
when
you
were
disposed
to
think
of
something
else
,
being
made
up
of
names
that
would
turn
into
a
chime
if
you
went
back
upon
them
.
Dorothea
set
earnestly
to
work
,
bending
close
to
her
map
,
and
uttering
the
names
in
an
audible
,
subdued
tone
,
which
often
got
into
a
chime
.
She
looked
amusingly
girlish
after
all
her
deep
experience
—
nodding
her
head
and
marking
the
names
off
on
her
fingers
,
with
a
little
pursing
of
her
lip
,
and
now
and
then
breaking
off
to
put
her
hands
on
each
side
of
her
face
and
say
,
"
Oh
dear
!
oh
dear
!
"
There
was
no
reason
why
this
should
end
any
more
than
a
merry-go-round
;
but
it
was
at
last
interrupted
by
the
opening
of
the
door
and
the
announcement
of
Miss
Noble
.
The
little
old
lady
,
whose
bonnet
hardly
reached
Dorothea
's
shoulder
,
was
warmly
welcomed
,
but
while
her
hand
was
being
pressed
she
made
many
of
her
beaver-like
noises
,
as
if
she
had
something
difficult
to
say
.
"
Do
sit
down
,
"
said
Dorothea
,
rolling
a
chair
forward
.
"
Am
I
wanted
for
anything
?
I
shall
be
so
glad
if
I
can
do
anything
.
"
"
I
will
not
stay
,
"
said
Miss
Noble
,
putting
her
hand
into
her
small
basket
,
and
holding
some
article
inside
it
nervously
;
"
I
have
left
a
friend
in
the
churchyard
.
"
She
lapsed
into
her
inarticulate
sounds
,
and
unconsciously
drew
forth
the
article
which
she
was
fingering
.
It
was
the
tortoise-shell
lozenge-box
,
and
Dorothea
felt
the
colour
mounting
to
her
cheeks
.
"
Mr.
Ladislaw
,
"
continued
the
timid
little
woman
.
"
He
fears
he
has
offended
you
,
and
has
begged
me
to
ask
if
you
will
see
him
for
a
few
minutes
.
"
Dorothea
did
not
answer
on
the
instant
:
it
was
crossing
her
mind
that
she
could
not
receive
him
in
this
library
,
where
her
husband
's
prohibition
seemed
to
dwell
.
She
looked
towards
the
window
.
Could
she
go
out
and
meet
him
in
the
grounds
?
The
sky
was
heavy
,
and
the
trees
had
begun
to
shiver
as
at
a
coming
storm
.
Besides
,
she
shrank
from
going
out
to
him
.
"
Do
see
him
,
Mrs.
Casaubon
,
"
said
Miss
Noble
,
pathetically
;
"
else
I
must
go
back
and
say
No
,
and
that
will
hurt
him
.
"
"
Yes
,
I
will
see
him
,
"
said
Dorothea
.
"
Pray
tell
him
to
come
.
"
What
else
was
there
to
be
done
?
There
was
nothing
that
she
longed
for
at
that
moment
except
to
see
Will
:
the
possibility
of
seeing
him
had
thrust
itself
insistently
between
her
and
every
other
object
;
and
yet
she
had
a
throbbing
excitement
like
an
alarm
upon
her
—
a
sense
that
she
was
doing
something
daringly
defiant
for
his
sake
.
When
the
little
lady
had
trotted
away
on
her
mission
,
Dorothea
stood
in
the
middle
of
the
library
with
her
hands
falling
clasped
before
her
,
making
no
attempt
to
compose
herself
in
an
attitude
of
dignified
unconsciousness
.
What
she
was
least
conscious
of
just
then
was
her
own
body
:
she
was
thinking
of
what
was
likely
to
be
in
Will
's
mind
,
and
of
the
hard
feelings
that
others
had
had
about
him
.
How
could
any
duty
bind
her
to
hardness
?
Resistance
to
unjust
dispraise
had
mingled
with
her
feeling
for
him
from
the
very
first
,
and
now
in
the
rebound
of
her
heart
after
her
anguish
the
resistance
was
stronger
than
ever
.
"
If
I
love
him
too
much
it
is
because
he
has
been
used
so
ill
:
"
—
there
was
a
voice
within
her
saying
this
to
some
imagined
audience
in
the
library
,
when
the
door
was
opened
,
and
she
saw
Will
before
her
.
She
did
not
move
,
and
he
came
towards
her
with
more
doubt
and
timidity
in
his
face
than
she
had
ever
seen
before
.
He
was
in
a
state
of
uncertainty
which
made
him
afraid
lest
some
look
or
word
of
his
should
condemn
him
to
a
new
distance
from
her
;
and
Dorothea
was
afraid
of
her
own
emotion
.
She
looked
as
if
there
were
a
spell
upon
her
,
keeping
her
motionless
and
hindering
her
from
unclasping
her
hands
,
while
some
intense
,
grave
yearning
was
imprisoned
within
her
eyes
.
Seeing
that
she
did
not
put
out
her
hand
as
usual
,
Will
paused
a
yard
from
her
and
said
with
embarrassment
,
"
I
am
so
grateful
to
you
for
seeing
me
.
"
"
I
wanted
to
see
you
,
"
said
Dorothea
,
having
no
other
words
at
command
.
It
did
not
occur
to
her
to
sit
down
,
and
Will
did
not
give
a
cheerful
interpretation
to
this
queenly
way
of
receiving
him
;
but
he
went
on
to
say
what
he
had
made
up
his
mind
to
say
.
"
I
fear
you
think
me
foolish
and
perhaps
wrong
for
coming
back
so
soon
.
I
have
been
punished
for
my
impatience
.
You
know
—
every
one
knows
now
—
a
painful
story
about
my
parentage
.
I
knew
of
it
before
I
went
away
,
and
I
always
meant
to
tell
you
of
it
if
—
if
we
ever
met
again
.
"
There
was
a
slight
movement
in
Dorothea
,
and
she
unclasped
her
hands
,
but
immediately
folded
them
over
each
other
.
"
But
the
affair
is
matter
of
gossip
now
,
"
Will
continued
.
"
I
wished
you
to
know
that
something
connected
with
it
—
something
which
happened
before
I
went
away
,
helped
to
bring
me
down
here
again
.
At
least
I
thought
it
excused
my
coming
.
It
was
the
idea
of
getting
Bulstrode
to
apply
some
money
to
a
public
purpose
—
some
money
which
he
had
thought
of
giving
me
.
Perhaps
it
is
rather
to
Bulstrode
's
credit
that
he
privately
offered
me
compensation
for
an
old
injury
:
he
offered
to
give
me
a
good
income
to
make
amends
;
but
I
suppose
you
know
the
disagreeable
story
?
"
Will
looked
doubtfully
at
Dorothea
,
but
his
manner
was
gathering
some
of
the
defiant
courage
with
which
he
always
thought
of
this
fact
in
his
destiny
.
He
added
,
"
You
know
that
it
must
be
altogether
painful
to
me
.
"
"
Yes
—
yes
—
I
know
,
"
said
Dorothea
,
hastily
.
"
I
did
not
choose
to
accept
an
income
from
such
a
source
.
I
was
sure
that
you
would
not
think
well
of
me
if
I
did
so
,
"
said
Will
.
Why
should
he
mind
saying
anything
of
that
sort
to
her
now
?
She
knew
that
he
had
avowed
his
love
