Ihave
always
wished
to
see
him
.
He
looks
tired
to
death
.
'
'
He
always
looks
like
that
.
Quite
a
character
,
though
,
is
n't
he
?
'
'
He
has
an
interesting
face
.
But
it
was
a
disgraceful
thing
,
his
marrying
a
pretty
young
girl
,
and
an
heiress
,
at
his
age
.
'
Sibyl
made
a
sudden
movement
,
and
the
other
couple
glanced
round
.
They
saw
her
,
but
her
primrose
domino
had
taken
the
pink
of
her
surroundings
,
and
they
suspected
nothing
.
'
I
'm
not
so
sure
.
His
nephew
stands
up
for
him
,
though
his
uncle
cut
him
out
,
and
his
nephew
ought
to
know
.
I
fancy
there
was
more
in
that
marriage
than
outsiders
suspect
.
I
've
heard
it
said
more
than
once
that
she
fell
head-over-ears
in
love
with
him
,
and
he
married
her
out
of
pity
.
'
The
last
words
fell
distinctly
on
Sibyl
's
ears
,
and
at
that
second
the
music
ceased
with
a
crash
,
and
a
gong
boomed
out
,
engulfing
all
other
sounds
.
It
was
twelve
o'clock
.
A
bell
somewhere
just
above
them
was
counting
out
twelve
slow
strokes
,
just
too
late
—
just
ten
seconds
too
late
.
She
leaned
back
sick
and
shivering
.
She
did
not
realize
that
the
crash
and
the
tolling
bell
were
part
of
the
evening
's
programme
.
They
seemed
to
her
the
natural
result
of
the
words
she
had
just
heard
.
If
she
had
been
crossed
in
love
at
Lisbon
before
the
earthquake
,
she
would
have
regarded
that
upheaval
as
the
immediate
consequence
of
her
lacerated
feelings
.
'
Look
,
look
!
'
said
the
woman
;
'
they
are
unmasking
.
'
A
confused
sound
of
laughter
and
surprise
and
recognition
,
and
a
widespread
hum
of
conversation
,
came
up
to
them
.
Everyone
was
streaming
out
of
the
gallery
,
and
in
the
ballroom
there
was
a
vast
turmoil
,
as
of
hiving
bees
,
and
a
throng
at
every
door
.
'
Shall
I
take
you
to
the
cloak-room
to
leave
your
mask
and
domino
?
'
said
Doll
,
turning
to
her
at
last
,
from
watching
without
seeing
it
what
was
passing
below
.
He
took
off
his
velvet
mask
as
he
spoke
.
The
sullen
wretchedness
of
his
face
fitted
ill
with
the
pointed
rakish
ears
which
still
surmounted
it
.
She
did
not
answer
.
He
saw
that
the
outstretched
hand
still
on
the
balustrade
was
tightly
clenched
.
'
Mrs
.
Loftus
,
'
he
said
.
'
Sibyl
!
what
is
it
?
Are
you
ill
?
'
She
tore
off
her
mask
,
and
,
as
if
she
were
suffocating
,
plucked
with
trembling
hands
at
the
gold
ribbon
that
fastened
her
hood
and
domino
.
He
was
alarmed
,
and
clumsily
helped
her
to
loosen
them
.
Her
small
face
,
released
from
the
mask
,
looked
shrunk
and
pinched
like
a
squirrel
's
in
its
thrown-back
hood
.
The
pink
glow
upon
it
from
the
lamp
was
in
horrible
contrast
with
its
agonized
expression
.
'
What
is
it
?
what
is
it
?
'
said
Doll
,
in
distress
nearly
as
great
as
her
own
,
taking
her
little
clenched
hand
,
and
holding
it
,
still
clenched
,
in
his
large
grasp
.
'
Are
you
ill
?
'
She
shook
her
head
impatiently
.
'
Would
you
like
—
shall
I
—
fetch
Mr.
Loftus
?
'
She
winced
as
if
she
had
been
struck
.
'
No
,
'
she
gasped
;
'
I
will
not
see
him
—
I
will
not
see
him
!
'
A
change
came
over
Doll
's
face
.
Involuntarily
,
his
hand
tightened
its
clasp
on
hers
.
'
These
entertainments
,
'
said
the
Bishop
to
Mr.
Loftus
,
as
they
paused
for
a
moment
in
the
gallery
,
and
looked
down
into
the
ballroom
,
which
was
now
rapidly
refilling
with
gaily-dressed
women
and
pink
and
black
coats
,
'
are
,
I
believe
,
typical
of
English
country
life
.
They
are
—
ahem
!
—
the
gallery
seems
conducive
to
conversation
;
it
is
,
in
fact
,
a
—
er
—
whispering-gallery
.
'
Here
he
turned
,
smiling
,
to
Mr.
Loftus
.
'
Perhaps
Mr.
Doll
has
hardly
reached
the
stage
at
which
he
will
call
upon
me
to
officiate
—
just
so
;
we
will
go
down
by
the
other
staircase
—
but
I
trust
,
though
I
might
be
in
the
way
at
present
,
that
my
services
may
be
required
a
little
later
on
.
'
'
I
should
like
to
see
Doll
married
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
,
who
had
been
not
a
little
surprised
at
the
eager
manner
in
which
the
young
man
was
bending
towards
the
figure
with
her
back
towards
them
,
whose
fallen-back
hood
intercepted
her
features
.
He
recognised
the
domino
.
'
I
had
no
idea
Peggy
had
made
such
an
impression
,
'
he
said
to
himself
.
As
he
re-entered
the
ballroom
,
he
met
Lady
Pierpoint
,
also
returning
to
it
with
her
two
plump
little
girls
in
tow
,
whom
she
had
been
tidying
in
the
cloak-room
.
Captain
Charrington
and
some
of
the
other
men
from
Wilderleigh
were
waiting
near
the
doorway
,
claiming
first
dances
as
their
party
came
in
.
The
orchestra
,
who
had
been
refreshing
themselves
,
were
remounting
to
their
places
.
'
Then
,
where
is
Sibyl
?
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
,
looking
at
Peggy
.
'
She
went
to
the
gallery
a
long
time
ago
,
'
replied
Peggy
promptly
,
'
with
Mr.
Doll
,
to
see
the
people
unmask
at
twelve
o'clock
.
'
Mr.
Loftus
smiled
.
'
It
was
a
horrible
sight
as
seen
from
below
,
'
he
said
;
'
half
the
men
's
faces
were
black
,
and
the
hair
of
every
one
of
them
stood
up
at
the
back
.
'
The
band
struck
up
a
swaying
,
languorous
valse
such
as
tears
the
hearts
out
of
young
persons
in
their
teens
.
'
I
must
go
home
,
'
Sibyl
kept
repeating
feverishly
.
'
Doll
,
you
must
get
the
carriage
.
I
must
go
home
.
'
Doll
was
engaged
to
Peggy
for
this
valse
,
but
he
had
forgotten
it
.
Sibyl
was
engaged
to
Captain
Charrington
,
but
she
had
forgotten
it
.
He
was
terrified
,
as
only
reticent
persons
can
be
,
lest
her
loss
of
self-control
should
be
observed
.
He
helped
her
to
her
feet
,
and
took
her
to
the
cloak-room
,
she
clinging
convulsively
to
him
.
Her
entire
disregard
of
appearances
filled
him
with
apprehension
.
The
cloak-room
was
empty
,
even
of
attendants
,
for
it
had
been
thronged
till
within
the
last
ten
minutes
,
and
now
the
wave
had
surged
back
to
the
ballroom
,
and
the
maids
,
their
duties
finished
,
had
slipped
away
to
see
the
spectacle
.
Sibyl
cast
herself
down
on
a
chair
,
shivering
.
Her
little
Grecian
crown
of
diamonds
fell
crooked
.
'
Let
me
fetch
Lady
Pierpoint
,
'
said
Doll
urgently
.
'
No
,
no
,
'
she
said
imploringly
;
'
I
want
to
go
home
.
Oh
,
Doll
,
get
the
carriage
,
and
take
me
home
.
Is
it
so
much
to
ask
?
'
He
looked
at
her
in
doubt
.
She
was
not
fit
to
return
to
the
ballroom
.
Evidently
she
would
make
no
attempt
to
conceal
her
despair
,
whatever
its
cause
might
be
,
from
the
first
chance
comer
.
'
I
will
take
you
,
'
he
said
;
and
he
rushed
out
to
the
stables
,
found
the
Wilderleigh
coachman
,
and
himself
helped
to
put
the
horses
into
the
brougham
.
'
It
was
ordered
for
one
o'clock
especially
for
Mr.
Loftus
,
'
said
the
coachman
,
hesitating
,
'
and
the
landau
,
and
the
fly
,
and
the
homnibus
for
half-past
three
.
'
'
You
will
be
back
in
time
for
Mr.
Loftus
,
'
said
Doll
.
'
Mrs
.
Loftus
is
ill
,
and
must
go
home
immediately
.
'
He
had
the
brougham
at
the
door
in
ten
minutes
,
and
returned
to
the
cloak-room
to
find
a
maid
standing
by
Sibyl
with
a
glass
of
water
.
Sibyl
was
still
shivering
,
holding
on
to
the
chair
with
both
hands
,
her
eyes
half
closed
,
her
face
ghastly
.
'
I
am
afraid
the
lady
is
ill
,
'
said
the
servant
.
It
was
very
evident
that
she
was
ill.
'
The
carriage
is
here
,
'
said
Doll
.
'
Can
you
manage
to
walk
to
it
?
'
She
rose
unsteadily
,
and
the
maid
wrapped
her
in
her
white
cloak
.
It
annoyed
Doll
that
the
maid
evidently
looked
upon
them
as
an
interesting
young
married
couple
.
He
gave
Sibyl
his
arm
,
and
she
staggered
against
him
.
He
hesitated
,
and
then
compressed
his
lips
,
put
his
arm
round
her
,
and
,
half
carrying
,
half
leading
her
,
helped
her
to
the
carriage
.
It
was
a
white
night
with
snow
upon
the
ground
.
The
band
was
playing
one
of
Chevalier
's
songs
.
Out
into
the
solemn
night
came
the
urgent
appeal
of
'
'
Enery
'
Awkins
'
to
his
Eliza
not
to
die
an
old
maid
,
accompanied
by
the
dull
,
threshing
sound
of
many
feet
.
As
the
carriage
began
to
move
,
Sibyl
seemed
to
revive
,
and
a
moan
broke
from
her
.
'
Oh
,
Doll
,
'
she
said
suddenly
,
turning
towards
him
and
catching
his
hand
and
wringing
it
.
'
It
is
n't
true
,
is
it
?
It
is
only
a
horrible
lie
.
'
'
What
is
n't
true
?
'
he
said
fiercely
,
almost
hating
her
for
the
pain
she
was
causing
him
,
not
his
hand
.
'
It
is
n't
true
what
that
man
said
in
the
next
arch
,
that
—
that
Mr.
Loftus
married
me
out
of
pity
?
'
And
she
swayed
herself
to
and
fro
.
She
had
asked
the
only
person
to
whom
Mr.
Loftus
had
confided
his
real
reasons
for
his
marriage
.
It
had
been
on
the
tip
of
Doll
's
tongue
all
the
evening
to
say
:
'
Why
did
you
marry
him
?
I
would
have
married
you
for
love
.
'
But
he
mastered
himself
.
'
It
is
n't
true
,
is
it
?
'
gasped
Sibyl
.
Doll
set
his
teeth
.
'
No
,
'
he
said
.
'
It
's
a
lie
.
He
married
you
for
love
.
He
—
told
me
so
!
'
CHAPTER
X
.
'
Pour
connaître
il
faut
savoir
ignorer
.
'
—
Amiel
.
'
Doll
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
,
the
morning
after
the
ball
,
when
all
the
guests
had
departed
,
except
the
Pierpoints
,
'
I
do
not
expect
absolute
perfection
in
my
fellow-creatures
,
but
it
appeared
to
me
that
you
fell
rather
below
your
usual
near
approach
to
it
last
night
.
What
do
you
think
?
'
Doll
answered
nothing
.
'
You
see
,
'
went
on
Mr.
Loftus
,
'
after
twelve
o'clock
,
when
everyone
unmasked
,
was
the
time
when
I
should
naturally
have
introduced
Sibyl
to
many
of
our
friends
and
neighbours
,
as
this
was
her
first
public
appearance
since
her
marriage
,
and
I
could
not
do
so
on
our
arrival
.
The
fact
that
she
had
left
the
house
without
me
,
and
—
without
my
knowledge
—
was
unfortunate
.
'
It
had
been
more
than
unfortunate
in
reality
.
Mr.
Loftus
,
whose
marriage
had
made
a
great
sensation
in
his
own
county
,
had
been
begged
on
all
sides
,
as
soon
as
the
masks
were
off
,
to
introduce
his
wife
,
and
,
though
he
had
not
shown
any
surprise
at
her
non-appearance
and
Doll
's
,
he
had
at
last
been
obliged
to
retire
to
the
men
's
cloak-room
and
wait
there
till
his
carriage
came
,
so
as
to
obscure
the
fact
that
she
had
departed
without
him
.
He
had
been
annoyed
at
what
he
took
to
be
Doll
's
heedlessness
of
appearances
.
'
She
felt
ill
,
and
wished
to
go
home
,
'
said
Doll
,
reddening
,
and
not
perceiving
that
he
was
offering
an
explanation
which
did
not
cover
the
ground
.
He
would
have
been
perfectly
satisfied
with
it
himself
.
'
I
greatly
fear
that
she
is
ill
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
;
'
but
she
was
quite
well
when
she
went
to
the
ball
last
night
.
She
is
very
delicate
and
excitable
.
Is
it
possible
that
anything
occurred
to
upset
her
?
'
Mr.
Loftus
fixed
his
keen
steel-gray
eyes
on
Doll
.
He
had
seen
,
as
he
saw
everything
,
Doll
's
momentary
jealousy
of
him
the
evening
before
.
For
the
life
of
him
Doll
could
not
think
what
to
say
.
It
seemed
impossible
to
tell
Mr.
Loftus
the
truth
,
and
he
had
but
little
of
that
inventive
talent
which
envious
persons
with
a
small
vocabulary
call
lying
.
That
little
had
been
used
up
the
night
before
.
Yet
,
perhaps
,
if
he
had
been
aware
that
Mr.
Loftus
had
seen
him
with
Sibyl
in
the
gallery
in
an
attitude
which
allowed
of
but
few
interpretations
,
his
slow
mind
might
have
grasped
the
nettly
fact
that
he
must
explain
.
Mr.
Loftus
waited
.
'
My
boy
,
'
he
said
at
last
,
'
I
am
not
only
Sibyl
's
husband
'
—
he
saw
Doll
wince
—
'
but
I
am
also
,
I
verily
believe
,
her
best
friend
.
'
There
was
no
answer
.
A
slight
,
almost
imperceptible
,
change
came
over
Mr.
Loftus
's
face
.
He
paused
a
moment
,
and
then
went
on
quietly
:
'
Sibyl
is
most
generous
about
money
—
too
generous
.
I
am
almost
afraid
of
taking
an
unfair
advantage
of
it
,
though
she
presses
me
to
do
so
.
But
I
am
pushing
on
the
repairs
everywhere
;
and
I
am
re
building
Greenfields
and
Springlands
from
the
ground
.
They
will
get
to
work
again
directly
the
frost
is
over
.
I
have
the
plans
here
,
if
you
would
like
to
look
at
them
.
'
He
drew
a
roll
out
of
the
writing-table
drawer
,
and
spread
it
on
the
table
.
Doll
perceived
with
intense
relief
that
the
subject
was
dropped
,
and
he
knew
Mr.
Loftus
well
enough
to
be
certain
that
it
would
never
under
any
circumstances
be
reopened
.
But
as
he
looked
at
the
plans
,
and
Mr.
Loftus
pointed
out
the
new
well
and
the
various
advantages
of
the
designs
,
it
dawned
upon
Doll
's
consciousness
that
he
was
losing
something
which
he
had
always
regarded
as
a
secure
possession
,
and
which
nothing
could
replace
—
Mr.
Loftus
's
confidence
.
He
had
seen
it
withdrawn
in
this
gentle
fashion
from
other
people
,
who
did
not
find
out
for
years
afterwards
that
it
was
irrevocably
gone
.
And
he
became
aware
that
he
could
not
bear
to
lose
it
.
'
Here
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
,
putting
on
his
silver-rimmed
pince-nez
,
'
is
,
or
ought
to
be
,
the
new
private
road
leading
out
on
to
the
H
—
—
highroad
.
I
decided
to
make
it
,
Doll
,
not
only
for
the
convenience
of
the
farm
,
but
also
because
I
cannot
let
that
row
of
cottages
with
any
certainty
until
there
is
an
easier
means
of
access
to
them
.
My
father
always
intended
to
make
a
road
there
.
I
only
hope
,
'
he
said
at
last
,
letting
the
map
fly
back
into
a
roll
,
'
that
I
shall
live
to
pay
for
all
I
am
doing
,
but
I
ca
n't
pay
for
unfinished
contracts
.
If
I
do
n't
,
Doll
,
you
will
have
to
raise
a
mortgage
on
the
property
to
pay
for
the
actual
improvements
on
it
.
Sibyl
has
left
all
her
fortune
to
me
,
I
believe
;
but
as
I
am
certain
to
go
first
,
Wilderleigh
will
not
be
the
gainer
.
'
And
it
passed
through
Mr.
Loftus
's
mind
for
the
first
time
that
perhaps
,
after
all
,
Sibyl
might
still
marry
Doll
some
day
.
How
he
had
once
wished
for
that
marriage
he
remembered
with
a
sigh
.
'
It
may
be
.
Youth
turns
to
youth
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
to
himself
,
as
he
went
up
to
his
wife
's
room
after
Doll
had
left
.
Sibyl
was
ill.
A
chill
,
or
a
shock
,
or
excitement
—
who
shall
say
which
?
—
had
just
touched
the
delicate
balance
of
her
health
and
overset
it
.
It
toppled
over
suddenly
without
warning
,
without
any
of
the
preliminary
struggles
by
which
a
strong
constitution
or
a
strong
will
staves
off
the
advance
of
illness
.
She
gave
way
entirely
and
at
once
,
and
the
night
after
the
night
of
the
ball
it
would
have
been
difficult
to
recognise
,
in
the
sunk
,
colourless
face
and
motionless
figure
,
the
brilliant
,
lovely
young
girl
in
her
little
diamond
crown
.
Sibyl
's
illness
did
not
prove
dangerous
,
but
it
was
long
.
Lady
Pierpoint
,
who
had
nursed
her
before
,
sent
her
daughters
home
,
and
took
her
place
again
by
the
bedside
,
with
the
infinite
patience
which
she
had
learned
in
helping
her
husband
down
the
valley
towards
the
death
which
at
last
became
the
one
goal
of
all
their
longing
,
and
which
had
receded
before
them
with
every
toiling
step
towards
it
,
till
they
had
both
wept
together
because
he
could
not
,
could
not
die
.
Perhaps
it
was
because
her
husband
had
gone
through
the
slow
mill
of
consumption
that
Lady
Pierpoint
's
heart
had
so
much
tenderness
for
Sibyl
,
for
whom
only
a
year
ago
she
had
dreaded
the
same
fate
.
Mr.
Loftus
had
the
nervous
horror
of
,
and
repugnance
to
,
every
form
of
illness
which
as
often
accompanies
a
refined
and
sympathetic
nature
as
it
does
an
obtuse
and
selfish
one
.
And
his
lonely
existence
had
not
brought
him
into
contact
with
that
inevitable
side
of
domestic
life
.
He
was
extraordinarily
ignorant
about
it
,
and
his
natural
impulse
was
to
avoid
it
.
But
he
stood
by
his
wife
's
bedside
,
adjusted
his
pince-nez
,
and
accepted
the
situation
.
For
many
days
Sibyl
would
take
nothing
unless
given
it
by
himself
,
would
rouse
herself
for
no
voice
but
his
.
Lady
Pierpoint
marvelled
to
see
him
come
into
Sibyl
's
room
at
night
in
his
long
gray
dressing-gown
,
to
administer
the
food
or
medicine
which
the
nurse
put
into
his
hand
.
His
patience
and
his
kindness
did
not
flag
,
but
it
seemed
to
Lady
Pierpoint
as
if
at
this
eleventh
hour
they
should
not
have
been
demanded
of
him
;
and
it
wounded
her
—
why
,
it
would
be
hard
to
say
—
to
watch
him
do
for
Sibyl
with
painstaking
care
the
little
things
which
in
her
own
youth
her
young
husband
had
done
for
her
,
the
little
things
which
in
wedded
life
are
the
great
things
.
Mr.
Loftus
sometimes
made
a
mistake
,
and
once
he
forgot
that
he
was
married
,
and
was
found
pacing
in
the
rose-garden
oblivious
of
everything
except
a
political
crisis
—
but
only
once
.
He
was
faithful
in
that
which
is
least
.
Lady
Pierpoint
felt
with
a
twinge
of
conscience
that
when
she
had
endeavoured
to
bring
about
this
marriage
she
had
been
selfishly
engrossed
in
Sibyl
's
welfare
.
She
had
not
thought
enough
of
his
.
And
gradually
Sibyl
recovered
,
and
went
about
the
house
again
,
wan
and
feeble
,
and
Lady
Pierpoint
left
Wilderleigh
.
CHAPTER
XI
.
'
Dark
is
the
world
to
thee
?
Thyself
art
the
reason
why
.
'
Tennyson
.
Convalescence
is
often
accompanied
by
a
depression
of
spirits
rarely
experienced
during
the
illness
itself
.
A
weak
nature
seeks
for
a
cause
for
this
depression
in
its
surroundings
,
and
when
it
finds
one
,
as
it
invariably
does
,
it
hugs
it
.
These
causes
,
thanks
to
the
assiduity
of
one
whom
we
are
given
to
understand
has
seen
better
days
,
are
seldom
far
to
seek
;
and
it
requires
a
very
strong
will
to
hold
fast
the
conviction
that
these
paroxysms
of
de
pression
arise
from
physical
weakness
,
and
not
from
some
secret
woe
.
Sibyl
had
not
a
very
strong
will
.
After
the
first
novelty
of
convalescence
was
past
,
and
she
had
been
installed
in
her
sitting-room
in
a
cascade
of
lace
and
ribbons
,
which
her
dressmaker
called
a
saut
du
lit
,
and
after
Mr.
Loftus
had
gravitated
back
towards
the
library
on
the
ground-floor
and
his
article
for
the
Millennium
,
Sibyl
began
to
experience
that
vague
weariness
and
distaste
of
life
which
all
know
who
know
ill
health
.
It
is
at
this
stage
that
the
unprincipled
invalid
becomes
'
the
terror
of
the
household
and
its
shame
.
'
It
is
at
this
stage
that
lengths
of
felt
are
laid
down
in
passages
by
tender
and
injudicious
parents
,
because
no
sound
can
be
borne
by
sensitive
ears
,
that
the
children
are
'
hushed
,
'
the
blinds
are
drawn
down
,
and
doctors
who
encourage
exercise
and
light
are
speedily
discovered
to
have
misunderstood
the
delicate
constitution
with
which
they
have
to
deal
.
If
Sibyl
had
not
had
a
cause
for
depression
,
she
would
most
certainly
have
manufactured
one
.
But
unfortunately
she
had
a
real
one
.
The
incident
of
the
masked
ball
rankled
.
Doll
had
lied
.
He
had
done
his
poor
best
,
but
he
had
not
lied
well
.
His
eyes
had
not
quite
looked
her
in
the
face
when
he
told
her
that
Mr.
Loftus
had
married
her
for
love
.
His
voice
had
not
that
emphatic
ring
which
the
crude
mind
ever
recognises
as
the
ring
of
truth
,
and
which
in
consequence
the
progressive
one
applies
itself
to
acquire
.
Her
mind
,
dulled
by
illness
and
narcotics
,
had
half
forgotten
that
she
had
been
momentarily
distressed
.
But
now
the
remembrance
came
back
like
a
nightmare
.
The
grain
of
sand
,
blown
by
chance
into
her
eye
,
pricked
,
and
she
sedulously
rubbed
it
into
an
inflammation
.
She
remembered
now
that
there
had
been
an
earlier
incident
in
his
courtship
which
had
not
been
satisfactorily
explained
,
when
he
proposed
to
her
the
second
time
.
Sibyl
always
regarded
his
offer
under
the
mountain-ash
as
the
second
time
.
She
had
a
vague
feeling
that
he
had
proposed
before
.
She
had
said
as
much
to
one
or
two
friends
in
confidence
.
But
now
that
she
came
to
think
of
it
,
she
remembered
that
it
was
she
who
had
proposed
the
first
time
,
and
had
been
refused
.
This
minor
detail
of
an
uncomfortable
incident
had
until
now
almost
slipped
out
of
her
memory
,
which
,
like
that
of
many
women
whose
buoyancy
depends
on
the
conviction
of
the
admiration
of
others
,
seldom
harboured
anything
likely
to
prove
a
worm
in
that
bud
.
But
now
she
applied
to
the
whole
subject
that
mental
friction
which
morbid
minds
believe
to
be
reflection
,
until
it
became
,
so
to
speak
,
inflamed
.
Why
had
he
sworn
before
the
altar
and
the
Bishop
to
love
her
,
if
he
did
not
love
her
?
She
became
tearful
,
listless
,
apathetic
.
She
sat
for
hours
looking
into
the
fire
,
unemployed
,
uninterested
.
The
evil
spirit
which
ever
lurks
in
sofas
and
couches
whispered
in
her
ear
,
when
it
pressed
the
cushions
,
that
she
was
indeed
miserable
,
that
her
husband
avoided
her
,
that
she
was
an
unloved
martyr
,
that
no
one
felt
for
her
or
sympathized
with
her
.
It
did
not
tell
her
that
she
had
been
married
for
her
money
,
simply
because
no
sane
person
could
look
at
Mr.
Loftus
and
believe
that
.
But
she
changed
in
manner
towards
him
.
She
was
cold
,
formal
.
She
turned
away
her
head
when
he
came
into
the
room
,
and
then
when
he
had
left
it
wept
in
secret
because
she
had
been
married
out
of
pity
.
And
yet
in
her
heart
of
hearts
,
if
she
had
such
a
thing
,
had
she
not
partly
guessed
that
fact
long
ago
,
and
wilfully
shut
her
eyes
to
it
?
The
chance
words
she
had
overheard
were
only
the
confirmation
of
a
latent
misgiving
.
Does
any
woman
ever
really
remain
in
ignorance
if
she
is
not
loved
,
or
if
she
has
been
married
for
other
reasons
than
love
?
What
constant
props
and
supports
she
had
given
to
Mr.
Loftus
's
love
for
her
!
It
had
never
been
allowed
to
stand
alone
.
Why
had
she
from
the
first
always
bolstered
it
up
by
continually
saying
to
herself
and
others
,
until
she
almost
believed
it
:
'
My
husband
is
so
devoted
to
me
.
My
love
is
such
a
little
thing
beside
his
.
What
have
I
done
to
deserve
such
a
great
devotion
?
'
How
often
she
had
said
all
these
things
that
tepidly-loved
women
say
!
Seeming
to
observe
nothing
,
Mr.
Loftus
saw
all
,
and
pondered
over
the
reason
of
her
altered
appearance
,
and
her
visibly
changed
feeling
towards
himself
since
the
night
of
the
masked
ball
.
If
it
were
that
her
health
was
threatened
as
it
had
been
before
her
marriage
,
why
should
her
affection
towards
himself
have
undergone
this
change
?
Could
it
be
anything
to
do
with
Doll
?
And
in
these
days
Sibyl
was
more
frequently
in
his
thoughts
than
in
the
early
days
of
his
marriage
with
her
.
The
thought
of
her
came
between
him
and
the
political
article
which
the
editor
of
the
Millennium
had
asked
for
.
'
Time
will
show
,
'
he
would
say
to
himself
,
with
a
sigh
,
taking
up
his
pen
again
.
One
afternoon
soon
afterwards
he
came
into
her
sitting-room
,
and
found
her
in
tears
.
'
Has
Crack
said
anything
unkind
?
'
he
asked
gently
,
while
Crack
beat
his
tail
in
the
depths
of
the
fur
rug
in
courteous
recognition
of
his
own
name
.
'
No
,
'
she
said
,
turning
her
head
away
.
'
Have
I
,
then
?
'
sitting
down
by
her
.
'
No
.
'
'
Then
,
my
child
,
what
is
it
?
'
'
Nothing
,
'
she
said
faintly
.
There
was
a
pause
.
'
Is
it
the
same
nothing
that
troubled
you
the
night
of
the
ball
?
'
He
saw
her
start
and
shrink
away
from
him
.
'
Oh
!
did
Doll
tell
you
?
'
she
gasped
,
turning
crimson
.
'
My
dear
,
he
told
me
nothing
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
gently
,
moving
slightly
away
from
her
,
and
looking
at
her
with
grave
attention
.
He
greatly
feared
that
unhappiness
was
before
her
in
some
form
or
other
.
He
waited
in
the
hope
that
she
would
speak
to
him
of
her
own
accord
.
But
she
only
began
to
cry
again
.
She
was
still
weak
.
Was
it
possible
that
she
was
afraid
of
him
?
What
could
be
troubling
her
that
she
,
who
did
not
know
what
reticence
meant
,
could
fear
to
tell
him
,
which
yet
Doll
knew
?
Doll
was
in
love
with
her
.
Had
he
lost
his
head
on
the
night
of
the
ball
?
Had
she
discovered
that
she
and
Doll
were
young
?
'
Crack
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
,
'
I
have
a
very
neglectful
wife
.
I
come
to
ask
for
something
for
my
headache
,
and
she
pays
no
attention
to
me
at
all
.
'
In
earlier
days
Sibyl
would
have
been
on
the
alert
in
a
moment
if
Mr.
Loftus
's
sacred
head
confessed
an
ache
.
Now
she
moved
slowly
to
the
writing-table
and
produced
certain
innocuous
remedies
which
he
had
brought
to
her
and
asked
her
to
apply
for
him
after
that
terrible
time
when
he
had
had
an
attack
of
the
heart
and
had
repulsed
her
.
Presently
the
headache
was
better
,
and
Mr.
Loftus
went
back
to
the
library
and
lit
his
pipe
,
which
was
remarkable
,
because
he
was
as
a
rule
unable
to
smoke
after
a
headache
.
He
sat
motionless
a
long
time
,
his
eyes
fixed
.
'
I
hope
,
'
he
said
at
last
,
knocking
the
ashes
out
of
his
pipe
,
'
that
I
shall
not
live
to
become
Sibyl
's
natural
enemy
,
for
I
think
I
am
about
the
only
real
friend
she
has
in
the
world
.
'
And
the
small
seed
that
would
have
quickened
in
another
man
's
heart
into
a
deep-rooted
jealousy
remained
upon
the
surface
of
his
mind
as
a
misgiving
,
which
took
the
form
of
anxiety
for
her
.
CHAPTER
XII
.
'
Oui
,
sans
doute
,
tout
meurt
;
ce
monde
est
un
grand
rêve
,
Et
le
peu
de
bonheur
qui
nous
vient
en
chemin
,
Nous
n'avons
pas
plus
tôt
ce
roseau
dans
la
main
,
Que
le
vent
nous
l'enlève
.
'
Alfred
De
Musset
.
Sibyl
continued
pale
and
listless
,
and
presently
Mr.
Loftus
found
fault
with
her
gowns
.
They
were
not
new
enough
.
The
colours
of
her
tea-gowns
did
not
suit
her
.
He
suggested
that
she
should
go
to
London
to
Lady
Pierpoint
's
house
for
a
few
days
to
see
her
dressmaker
,
and
added
,
as
an
afterthought
,
that
he
should
like
her
to
consult
the
specialist
to
whom
she
had
gone
on
former
occasions
,
and
whose
name
he
had
reason
to
remember
.
Sibyl
received
the
suggestion
of
this
visit
in
silence
.
She
did
not
oppose
herself
to
it
,
but
left
the
room
to
shed
a
torrent
of
angry
tears
in
private
.
The
truth
,
which
seldom
visited
her
feeble
judgment
,
did
not
tell
her
that
Mr.
Loftus
was
anxious
about
her
health
.
Hysteria
took
up
the
tale
instead
,
and
officiously
informed
her
that
he
was
tired
of
her
.
He
wanted
to
get
rid
of
her
.
Men
were
always
like
that
after
they
had
been
married
a
little
time
.
What
was
a
woman
's
love
and
devotion
to
them
when
the
first
novelty
had
worn
off
?
She
would
go
.
She
would
certainly
go
;
and
when
she
was
gone
she
would
write
to
him
,
telling
him
that
she
saw
only
too
plainly
that
his
love
for
her
was
dead
,
and
that
she
had
decided
never
to
return
,
and
at
the
same
time
making
over
to
him
her
entire
fortune
,
reserving
only
for
herself
a
pittance
,
on
which
she
would
live
in
seclusion
in
a
cottage
in
some
remote
locality
.
She
was
somewhat
consoled
as
she
thought
over
the
dignified
,
the
harrowing
letter
which
she
would
compose
in
London
.
Parts
of
it
,
as
she
repeated
them
to
herself
,
moved
her
to
tears
.
A
new
sullenness
was
added
to
the
previous
listlessness
of
her
demeanour
.
She
parted
from
Mr.
Loftus
with
studied
indifference
.
Mr.
Loftus
missed
her
,
not
altogether
unpleasantly
,
when
she
left
him
.
It
was
the
first
time
that
she
had
been
a
day
away
from
him
since
their
marriage
.
Life
was
certainly
very
tranquil
without
her
.
He
wrote
her
a
charming
little
letter
every
day
of
the
three
days
she
was
away
.
Doll
was
with
him
on
business
.
Now
that
Sibyl
was
absent
,
something
of
the
old
affection
and
confidence
returned
between
them
,
which
shrank
away
in
her
presence
;
but
not
quite
all
.
At
times
,
as
they
were
talking
,
the
younger
man
longed
to
break
down
the
slight
,
almost
imperceptible
barrier
that
his
stupid
untimely
silence
had
raised
.
But
he
could
not
do
it
.
He
could
not
take
the
plunge
.
Mr.
Loftus
,
however
,
who
would
not
have
done
such
a
thing
for
worlds
,
unwittingly
gave
him
a
push
.
'
The
spring
coppice
wants
thinning
,
'
he
said
to
Doll
the
third
morning
.
'
We
will
go
up
and
mark
the
trees
this
afternoon
.
'
'
I
am
going
away
to-day
,
'
said
Doll
sullenly
.
'
Stay
another
day
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
.
'
Mrs
.
Gresley
tells
me
that
the
sight
of
her
happy
home
,
and
Mr.
Gresley
,
and
the
church-tower
as
viewed
from
the
spare
bedroom
of
the
Vicarage
,
have
proved
a
turning-point
in
the
lives
of
many
wild
young
men
.
Stay
another
day
,
Doll
,
and
I
will
emulate
Mrs.
Gresley
.
It
will
do
you
good
.
'
'
Uncle
George
,
'
stammered
the
young
man
with
sudden
anger
,
'
will
you
never
,
never
understand
?
Have
you
forgotten
that
it
is
not
a
year
ago
since
I
told
you
—
in
this
very
room
—
and
you
said
you
would
help
me
.
I
ca
n't
meet
Sibyl
;
and
—
and
she
is
coming
back
to-day
.
I
tried
in
the
winter
,
and
—
it
was
a
failure
.
'
Mr.
Loftus
had
momentarily
forgotten
Sibyl
,
as
he
had
done
once
before
when
she
was
ill.
'
I
beg
your
pardon
,
Doll
,
'
he
said
,
his
pale
face
reddening
.
'
I
ought
to
have
remembered
.
'
There
was
a
constrained
silence
.
'
It
need
not
come
between
us
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
at
last
.
'
You
must
not
let
it
do
that
.
'
'
I
ca
n't
help
it
,
'
said
Doll
.
'
It
does
.
It
must
.
'
'
Sibyl
's
happiness
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
sadly
,
'
seems
to
be
a
costly
article
.
A
great
deal
has
been
spent
upon
it
,
apparently
without
making
it
secure
.
If
we
have
any
real
regard
for
her
,
we
must
manage
to
save
that
between
us
,
Doll
,
whatever
else
goes
by
the
board
.
'
'
What
do
you
take
me
for
?
'
said
Doll
fiercely
.
'
A
good
man
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
,
'
and
the
person
I
care
for
most
in
the
world
.
'
Sibyl
's
letter
to
Mr.
Loftus
was
never
written
.
At
least
it
was
written
,
as
,
indeed
,
were
several
,
and
read
over
and
retouched
at
night
in
her
own
room
;
but
even
the
best
of
the
assortment
remained
unposted
.
Sibyl
brought
back
her
wan
face
and
limp
figure
to
Wilderleigh
a
few
hours
after
Doll
had
left
it
,
and
heard
with
bitterness
that
he
had
been
staying
there
.
She
had
pictured
to
herself
Mr.
Loftus
alone
,
missing
her
at
every
moment
of
the
day
,
realizing
the
withdrawal
of
the
sunshine
of
her
presence
.
This
was
a
'
high
jump
,
'
on
the
bar
of
which
,
it
must
be
owned
,
even
her
practised
imagination
caught
its
toe
.
And
now
she
found
that
Doll
had
been
with
him
all
the
time
—
Doll
,
whom
he
cared
for
more
than
for
his
wife
.
He
had
not
missed
her
,
after
all
.
Probably
he
and
Doll
had
been
discussing
her
.
She
had
been
jealous
of
Doll
ever
since
she
had
seen
Mr.
Loftus
take
his
arm
during
her
first
visit
to
Wilderleigh
before
she
was
married
.
Her
jealousy
revived
now
.
For
the
remainder
of
the
day
Sibyl
met
Mr.
Loftus
with
averted
eyes
and
monosyllabic
answers
,
rehearsing
in
her
mind
parting
scenes
with
him
which
were
to
prove
more
poignantly
distressing
to
him
than
the
best
of
the
letters
,
and
in
which
he
was
to
appeal
in
vain
(
imagination
caught
its
toe
once
more
)
against
her
irrevocable
determination
to
leave
for
ever
one
who
had
married
her
for
other
motives
than
love
.
She
could
see
herself
in
evening
dress
,
pale
as
the
jasmine
flower
in
her
breast
,
mournful
but
unflinching
,
withdrawing
her
hand
,
and
saying
,
in
reply
to
the
moving
representation
which
he
would
of
course
make
of
his
loneliness
:
'
You
have
Doll
!
'
She
decided
that
she
would
not
say
more
than
that
.
No
reproach
should
pass
her
lips
.
'
You
have
Doll
!
'
What
words
for
a
young
wife
to
be
forced
to
use
to
her
husband
!
Her
hands
clenched
in
an
agony
of
self-pity
.
What
a
cruel
situation
was
hers
!
So
Sibyl
walked
in
her
waking
dream
,
and
her
husband
watched
her
.
'
Is
it
the
body
that
is
ill
,
or
is
it
the
mind
?
'
he
asked
himself
.
Later
in
the
day
the
doctor
's
letter
to
himself
—
Mr.
Loftus
had
written
to
him
asking
for
a
frank
statement
of
Sibyl
's
condition
—
confirmed
his
worst
fears
for
her
.
'
Mrs
.
Loftus
's
health
is
endangered
,
not
by
her
recent
illness
,
of
which
no
trace
appears
,
but
by
some
anxiety
.
She
does
not
deny
that
she
is
suffering
from
great
depression
.
Unless
that
anxiety
,
whatever
it
may
be
,
can
be
removed
,
her
morbid
condition
,
if
prolonged
,
will
give
rise
to
grave
apprehension
as
to
her
future
.
'
Mr.
Loftus
had
heard
something
very
like
this
before
—
about
nine
months
ago
.
He
had
removed
a
mountain
in
order
to
remove
with
it
the
first
cause
of
her
unhappiness
,
and
now
unhappiness
had
reappeared
.
No
one
had
guessed
—
no
one
had
been
allowed
to
guess
—
what
an
effort
his
marriage
had
been
to
him
.
And
it
had
availed
nothing
.
He
dropped
the
letter
into
the
fire
,
and
,
as
he
did
so
,
exhaustion
and
an
intense
weariness
of
life
laid
hold
upon
him
.
He
knew
well
the
touch
of
those
stern
hands
,
but
this
evening
,
as
he
sat
alone
in
the
library
,
it
seemed
to
him
as
if
he
had
never
endured
their
full
pressure
until
now
.
CHAPTER
XIII
.
'
O
World
,
O
Life
,
O
Time
.
O
these
last
steps
on
which
I
climb
.
'
Shelley
.
For
those
who
do
not
sleep
,
life
has
two
sides
—
the
side
of
night
as
well
as
day
—
and
the
heaviest
hour
of
the
day
or
night
is
the
hour
before
the
dawn
,
when
the
night-lamp
totters
and
dies
,
and
the
ashen
light
of
another
day
falls
like
despair
on
the
familiar
articles
of
furniture
,
the
chairs
,
the
table
,
the
wardrobe
,
which
have
been
up
all
night
like
ourselves
,
taking
the
imprint
of
our
exhaustion
through
the
interminable
hours
,
and
which
look
older
and
more
haggard
than
ever
in
the
changed
light
which
brings
nor
change
nor
rest
.
Those
who
sleep
at
night
,
for
whom
each
day
is
not
divided
by
a
gulf
of
pain
,
who
look
upon
the
darkness
as
a
time
of
rest
,
and
the
morning
as
a
time
of
waking
,
know
one
side
of
life
,
perhaps
,
as
the
passers-by
in
the
street
know
one
side
of
the
hospital
as
they
skirt
it
—
the
outside
wall
.
Mr.
Loftus
slept
ill
,
and
the
night
after
Sibyl
's
return
he
woke
early
.
The
gray
light
was
just
showing
above
the
white
blinds
as
he
had
seen
it
so
many
,
many
times
.
Would
the
morning
ever
come
,
he
wondered
,
when
he
should
no
longer
open
his
eyes
upon
the
dawn
,
when
'
these
last
steps
'
should
be
climbed
,
and
effort
would
cease
,
and
weariness
might
lie
down
and
cease
also
?
The
premonitory
tremor
,
the
shudder
of
coming
illness
,
laid
its
hand
upon
him
,
and
with
it
came
that
physical
recoil
of
the
flesh
from
solitude
before
which
the
strongest
will
goes
down
.
Involuntarily
he
got
up
and
went
to
Sibyl
's
room
.
He
opened
the
door
noiselessly
and
looked
in
.
The
room
felt
deserted
.
He
went
up
to
the
bed
;
it
was
empty
.
A
great
fear
fell
upon
him
.
Had
she
left
him
?
Poor
,
poor
child
!
had
she
left
him
,
as
that
other
wife
had
left
him
in
the
half-forgotten
past
,
buried
beneath
so
many
years
?
Can
any
man
whose
wife
has
forsaken
him
ever
quite
forget
that
he
has
once
been
deserted
,
that
the
road
which
leads
away
from
him
has
known
a
woman
's
footsteps
,
and
another
may
walk
in
it
?
He
stood
still
and
listened
.
The
spirit
had
over-
mastered
the
flesh
.
All
suffering
had
vanished
.
From
the
next
room
,
Sibyl
's
sitting-room
,
which
opened
out
of
her
bedroom
,
a
faint
sound
came
.
He
noiselessly
crossed
,
and
looked
through
the
half-open
door
,
and
thanked
God
.
Sibyl
was
lying
on
her
face
on
the
polished
floor
in
her
night-gown
,
moaning
and
sobbing
,
a
white
blot
upon
the
dark
boards
.
He
had
seen
her
lie
like
that
once
before
,
among
the
bracken
in
the
park
,
in
the
entire
abandonment
of
young
despair
.
The
vague
suspicion
of
many
weeks
dropped
its
disguise
,
and
stood
revealed
,
an
awful
figure
between
them
,
between
the
old
man
in
his
gray
hair
and
the
young
,
young
wife
.
He
withdrew
stealthily
,
regained
his
own
room
,
and
sat
down
in
the
armchair
.
That
passion
of
tears
could
flow
from
one
source
only
.
He
knew
Sibyl
well
enough
to
know
that
she
had
no
tears
,
no
strong
emotion
,
for
anything
except
that
which
affected
her
own
personal
happiness
.
Her
slight
nature
could
not
reach
to
impersonal
love
,
any
more
than
it
could
reach
to
righteous
anger
.
All
this
apparent
failure
of
health
and
listlessness
had
a
mental
cause
,
as
he
had
always
feared
,
as
he
now
knew
for
certain
.
She
was
unhappy
.
'
She
has
ceased
to
love
me
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
to
himself
,
'
and
she
is
in
despair
.
Doll
loves
her
,
and
she
has
found
it
out
.
Those
tears
are
for
Doll
.
'
There
was
a
long
pause
of
thought
.
He
started
at
the
remembrance
that
she
was
probably
still
lying
on
the
floor
in
her
thin
night-gown
.
He
got
up
,
and
tapped
distinctly
at
the
door
of
her
bedroom
.
At
first
there
was
no
reply
,
but
after
the
second
time
there
was
a
slight
hurried
movement
and
a
faint
'
Come
in
.
'
He
went
in
.
She
had
crept
back
into
bed
,
as
he
had
hoped
she
would
at
the
sound
of
his
tap
.
'
May
I
have
your
salts
?
'
he
said
,
taking
them
from
the
dressing-table
.
'
I
have
waked
with
a
headache
.
'
'
Can
I
do
anything
for
it
?
'
she
asked
,
but
without
moving
,
her
miserable
eyes
following
his
thin
,
gaunt
figure
in
its
gray
dressing-gown
.
'
Nothing
,
my
dear
,
except
forgive
me
for
disturbing
you
.
'
'
I
was
not
asleep
,
'
said
Sibyl
,
yielding
to
the
impulse
,
irresistible
to
some
women
,
to
approach
the
subject
which
they
are
trying
to
conceal
.
He
took
the
salts
,
and
went
back
to
his
own
room
,
closing
the
door
carefully
.
But
he
did
not
use
them
.
He
sighed
heavily
as
he
sat
down
again
in
the
old
armchair
in
which
he
had
so
often
watched
the
light
grow
behind
the
Welsh
hills
.
There
was
another
pause
of
thought
,
and
he
remembered
again
Doll
's
confession
of
the
day
before
.
'
Poor
children
!
'
he
said
—
'
poor
children
!
'
And
he
remembered
his
own
youth
and
its
devastating
passions
,
and
the
woman
whom
he
had
loved
in
middle
life
,
and
how
nearly
once
—
how
nearly
—
—
And
he
and
she
had
been
stronger
than
Doll
and
Sibyl
.
'
God
forgive
me
!
'
he
said
;
'
I
meant
well
.
'
There
was
another
pause
.
'
I
knew
her
love
could
not
last
,
'
his
mind
went
on
.
'
It
was
too
extravagant
,
and
it
had
no
foundation
.
But
I
thought
it
would
last
my
time
,
and
it
has
not
.
I
have
outlived
it
;
I
am
in
the
way
.
'
Mr.
Loftus
had
never
willingly
been
in
the
way
of
anyone
before
.
His
tact
had
so
far
saved
him
.
But
a
kind
intention
had
betrayed
him
at
last
.
'
I
am
in
the
way
,
'
he
repeated
,
'
and
I
am
fond
of
them
both
,
and
I
think
they
are
both
fond
of
me
.
But
they
will
come
to
hate
me
.
'
The
light
was
strong
and
white
now
,
and
a
butterfly
on
the
window-sill
,
that
had
mistaken
spring
for
summer
,
waked
,
and
began
to
beat
its
wings
against
the
pane
.
He
rose
wearily
,
and
opened
the
old-
fashioned
window
wide
upon
its
hinges
.
The
butterfly
flew
away
into
the
spring
morning
.
'
My
other
butterfly
,
'
he
said
—
'
my
pretty
butterfly
,
who
mistook
the
spring
for
summer
,
breaking
your
heart
against
the
prison
windows
of
my
worn-out
life
—
I
will
release
you
,
too
!
'
He
took
up
the
little
silver
flask
that
always
stood
on
his
dressing-table
at
night
and
lived
in
his
pocket
by
day
,
and
which
contained
the
only
remedy
which
a
great
doctor
could
find
for
his
attacks
of
the
heart
,
by
means
of
which
he
had
been
till
now
kept
in
life
.
'
I
have
a
right
to
do
it
,
'
he
said
.
'
I
can
only
help
them
by
going
away
.
And
if
I
am
in
the
wrong
,
upon
my
head
be
it
.
'
He
checked
himself
in
the
act
of
empty
ing
the
contents
of
the
flask
into
the
dead
fire
.
'
A
right
?
'
he
said
.
'
What
right
have
I
to
shirk
the
consequences
of
my
own
actions
?
what
right
to
be
a
coward
?
No
;
I
will
not
go
away
until
I
receive
permission
to
do
so
.
I
will
stay
while
it
is
required
of
me
.
'
He
sighed
heavily
,
and
replaced
the
flask
upon
the
dressing-table
.
'
Patience
,
'
he
said
.
'
I
thought
I
had
seen
the
last
of
you
.
I
am
tired
of
you
.
But
,
nevertheless
,
I
must
put
up
with
you
a
little
longer
.
'
CHAPTER
XIV
.
'
As
the
water
is
dried
upon
sands
,
so
a
life
flieth
back
to
the
dust
.
'
—
Sir
Alfred
Lyall
.
How
Sibyl
spent
the
morning
that
followed
she
never
knew
.
She
dared
not
go
out
of
doors
.
The
world
of
spring
,
with
the
new
breath
of
life
in
it
,
mocked
her
.
The
song
of
the
birds
hurt
her
.
She
felt
as
if
she
should
scream
outright
if
she
saw
the
may-blossom
against
the
sky
.
She
wandered
aimlessly
about
the
house
,
and
at
last
crept
back
to
her
own
room
and
lay
down
on
her
bed
,
and
turned
her
face
to
the
wall
.
The
day
went
on
.
Her
maid
brought
her
soup
,
and
drew
down
the
blinds
,
and
was
pettishly
dismissed
.
The
afternoon
came
.
They
were
mowing
the
grass
on
the
terrace
on
the
south
front
.
The
faint
scent
of
newly-cut
grass
came
in
through
the
open
window
,
and
seemed
,
through
the
senses
,
to
reach
some
acute
nerve
of
the
brain
.
She
moaned
,
and
buried
her
face
in
the
pillows
.
Presently
the
mowing
ceased
,
and
everything
became
very
silent
.
A
bluebottle
fly
,
pressed
for
time
,
rushed
in
,
made
the
circuit
of
the
room
,
and
rushed
out
again
.
Far
away
in
the
other
wing
,
on
the
ground-floor
,
she
heard
the
library
door
open
.
She
knew
Mr.
Loftus
's
slow
,
even
step
.
It
crossed
the
hall
;
it
entered
the
orangery
;
it
came
out
through
the
orangery
door
,
down
the
stone
steps
to
the
terrace
below
her
window
.
She
could
hear
his
step
on
the
gravel
outside
in
the
crisp
air
.
Crack
gave
a
short
bark
in
recognition
of
the
spring
,
and
satisfaction
that
the
long
morning
of
arranging
papers
and
the
afternoon
of
letter-writing
were
at
last
over
.
The
steps
dwindled
and
died
away
into
the
sunny
silence
.
It
seemed
to
Sibyl
's
overwrought
mind
that
he
was
walking
slowly
out
of
her
life
,
and
that
unless
she
made
haste
to
follow
him
she
would
lose
him
altogether
.
With
a
sudden
revulsion
of
feeling
,
she
sprang
to
her
feet
,
and
put
on
her
hat
and
shoes
.
Then
she
braved
the
spring
,
and
went
swiftly
out
.
A
great
tranquillity
had
fallen
upon
Mr.
Loftus
.
He
had
made
up
his
mind
.
After
a
turn
along
the
terrace
,
he
and
Crack
went
into
the
little
wood
near
the
gardens
,
and
sat
down
under
the
pink
horse-chestnut-tree
,
just
blushing
into
flower
.
It
would
have
been
difficult
to
put
the
arrangement
into
words
,
but
there
was
a
tacit
understanding
between
the
husband
and
wife
that
when
Mr.
Loftus
sat
under
that
particular
tree
he
did
not
mind
being
interrupted
.
Sibyl
generally
fluttered
out
to
him
after
he
had
been
there
a
few
minutes
,
though
the
wood
was
out
of
sight
of
the
windows
.
And
he
waited
for
her
to
come
to
him
now
.
Spring
had
returned
at
last
.
But
you
might
have
walked
through
the
wood
and
not
known
she
was
there
:
have
seen
only
the
naked
trees
,
and
the
gray
twigs
of
the
alder
,
bleached
white
where
the
rabbits
had
bitten
them
in
the
frost
.
But
if
you
had
stopped
to
listen
and
look
as
Mr.
Loftus
did
,
you
would
have
seen
and
heard
her
;
seen
her
in
the
blue
haze
,
and
the
mystery
of
change
that
lurked
among
the
gray
twigs
,
and
in
the
rare
primroses
among
the
brown
leaves
;
heard
her
in
the
persistent
double-tongue
of
the
chiff-chaff
,
and
,
not
near
at
hand
,
but
two
trees
away
,
in
the
ripple
of
the
goldfinch
,
with
a
little
question
at
the
end
of
it
.
Is
it
a
hint
of
immortality
,
that
haunting
desire
and
expectation
of
happiness
which
comes
with
the
primroses
,
that
longing
for
some
future
year
when
the
spring
shall
bring
with
it
no
heartache
,
the
autumn
no
contrition
;
of
another
year
,
somewhere
in
the
future
,
when
the
ills
of
life
will
be
done
away
?
Mr.
Loftus
looked
straight
in
front
of
him
,
and
his
face
took
an
expression
as
of
one
whose
eyes
are
on
a
goal
where
even
patience
itself
,
so
visible
in
every
line
of
his
quiet
face
,
will
at
last
with
other
burdens
be
laid
aside
.
She
saw
him
before
he
saw
her
,
as
she
came
towards
him
.
Her
heart
went
out
to
him
wistfully
and
passionately
by
turns
.
She
longed
to
turn
to
him
as
a
young
wife
turns
to
a
young
husband
,
and
cry
her
heart
out
on
his
breast
,
and
be
petted
,
and
caressed
,
and
comforted
.
But
she
dared
not
.
Whatever
besides
she
was
ignorant
of
,
she
had
learnt
certain
things
about
her
husband
,
and
one
of
them
was
that
she
must
never
show
her
devotion
unasked
.
And
she
was
seldom
asked
.
Her
life
was
a
constant
repression
of
its
greatest
,
its
only
real
affection
.
As
she
came
towards
him
he
roused
himself
and
smiled
at
her
.
She
sat
down
by
him
in
silence
.
He
had
a
single
primrose
in
the
buttonhole
of
his
coat
,
and
he
took
it
out
and
drew
it
very
gently
through
the
Russian
embroidery
on
her
bodice
.
'
When
I
was
young
,
Sibyl
,
'
he
said
,
'
I
was
convinced
,
and
the
conviction
has
never
wholly
left
me
,
that
flowers
are
God
's
thoughts
which
He
sows
broadcast
in
the
hearts
of
all
alike
.
But
we
will
have
none
of
them
,
and
they
drop
unheeded
to
the
ground
.
But
the
faithful
earth
receives
them
—
thoughts
despised
and
rejected
of
us
—
and
nurses
them
in
her
bosom
,
and
they
come
forth
transfigured
.
And
that
is
why
,
when
we
see
them
again
,
we
love
them
so
much
,
and
feel
akin
to
them
.
'
Her
locked
hands
trembled
on
her
knee
.
'
It
must
have
been
a
beautiful
thought
that
could
turn
into
a
lily
,
'
he
went
on
,
noting
,
but
ignoring
,
her
emotion
.
'
I
wonder
,
if
it
had
fallen
into
a
poet
's
heart
,
what
it
would
have
grown
into
.
Nothing
more
beautiful
,
I
think
.
And
I
know
the
primroses
are
first
love
.
I
have
felt
sure
of
that
always
.
I
wonder
,
my
Sibyl
,
when
there
is
so
much
in
your
heart
for
me
,
that
there
are
any
left
to
come
out
in
the
woods
;
but
there
are
a
few
,
you
see
,
among
the
brown
leaves
.
'
'
They
will
soon
be
over
,
'
said
Sibyl
,
turning
her
head
away
.
'
Yes
,
'
said
Mr.
Loftus
,
with
a
gentleness
which
was
new
to
Sibyl
,
and
he
was
always
gentle
.
'
They
will
die
presently
,
as
first
love
dies
.
But
nevertheless
it
is
a
beautiful
gift
while
it
lasts
,
and
we
must
not
grieve
because
,
like
the
primroses
,
it
cannot
last
in
flower
for
ever
.
I
have
lived
through
so
many
feelings
,
Sibyl
,
I
have
seen
so
many
die
which
seemed
immortal
,
that
I
have
long
since
ceased
to
count
on
the
permanence
of
any
.
'
He
leant
towards
her
,
and
for
the
first
time
he
took
her
slender
hands
and
kissed
them
.
It
was
as
if
he
were
readjusting
his
position
towards
her
,
reassuring
her
of
his
trust
and
confidence
and
sympathy
,
supporting
her
in
some
great
trouble
.
She
leaned
her
forehead
against
his
shoulder
,
and
a
sense
of
comfort
came
across
her
desolation
,
as
if
she
were
leaning
her
faint
soul
against
his
soul
.
He
put
his
arm
round
her
,
and
drew
her
closer
to
him
.
'
My
darling
!
'
he
said
,
and
there
was
an
emotion
in
his
voice
which
she
had
never
heard
in
it
before
.
Her
hat
had
slipped
off
,
and
he
passed
his
hand
very
tenderly
over
her
hair
.
Sibyl
's
over-strained
nerves
relaxed
.
Some
of
the
craving
of
her
heart
and
its
long
yearning
was
stilled
by
the
touch
of
his
hand
.
Ah
!
he
loved
her
,
after
all
—
certainly
he
loved
her
.
Doll
was
right
,
after
all
.
How
foolish
she
had
been
to
cry
all
night
!
Certainly
he
loved
her
.
She
could
not
speak
.
She
could
not
weep
.
She
could
only
lean
against
him
.
She
had
never
known
him
like
this
before
.
It
was
this
that
she
had
always
wanted
,
all
her
life
,
long
before
she
had
ever
met
him
.
'
You
have
been
so
good
to
me
,
'
he
went
on
,
'
from
the
first
day
of
our
married
life
when
I
was
ill.
Do
you
remember
?
And
I
know
that
your
dear
love
and
kindness
will
not
fail
me
while
I
live
.
I
thank
and
bless
you
for
all
you
have
given
me
,
your
whole
spring
of
primroses
;
and
now
that
spring
is
passing
,
as
it
must
,
Sibyl
,
as
it
must
,
not
by
your
fault
,
take
comfort
,
and
when
other
feelings
come
into
your
heart
,
as
they
have
come
in
,
do
not
reproach
yourself
,
do
not
cut
me
to
the
heart
by
grieving
,
but
remember
that
I
understand
,
and
that
my
love
and
honour
and
gratitude
can
never
change
towards
you
,
and
that
I
too
was
young
once
:
as
young
as
—
Doll
,
and
there
is
no
need
for
you
and
him
to
be
so
miserable
.
It
will
only
be
—
like
a
—
long
engagement
.
'
As
the
drift
of
his
words
gradually
became
clear
to
her
,
Sibyl
insensibly
shrank
back
as
from
an
abyss
before
her
feet
.
But
in
another
moment
she
took
in
their
whole
meaning
.
She
pushed
him
from
her
with
sudden
violence
,
and
stood
before
him
,
her
hands
clenched
,
her
eyes
blazing
,
her
slender
figure
shaking
with
passion
.
'
How
dare
you
!
'
she
stammered
.
'
How
dare
you
insult
me
?
'
He
put
out
his
hand
feebly
,
and
she
struck
it
down
.
'
What
is
Doll
to
me
?
'
she
went
on
,
'
to
me
,
your
wife
!
Oh
,
will
you
never
,
