Iam
there
,
or
would
talk
to
her
if
I
were
not
;
she
just
mistrusts
every
unmarried
female
by
instinct
.
"
"
A
girl
's
instinct
in
such
matters
is
not
always
wrong
,
"
Rawson-Clew
observed
.
But
if
he
thought
Julia
had
any
mischievous
propensities
of
that
sort
he
was
mistaken
.
"
I
should
not
think
of
interfering
in
such
an
affair
,
"
she
said
;
"
why
,
it
would
be
the
most
suitable
thing
in
the
world
,
as
suitable
as
it
is
for
my
handsome
and
able
sister
to
marry
the
ambitious
and
able
nephew
of
a
bishop
;
they
are
the
two
halves
that
make
one
whole
.
Denah
and
Joost
would
live
a
perfectly
ideal
pudding
life
;
he
with
his
flowers
—
that
is
his
work
,
you
know
;
he
cares
for
nothing
besides
,
really
—
and
she
with
her
housekeeping
.
He
with
a
little
music
for
relaxation
,
she
with
her
neighbours
and
accomplishments
;
it
would
be
as
neat
and
complete
and
suitable
as
anything
could
be
.
"
"
And
that
commends
it
to
you
?
I
should
have
imagined
that
what
was
incongruous
and
odd
pleased
you
better
.
"
"
I
like
that
too
,
"
she
was
obliged
to
admit
,
"
though
best
when
the
people
concerned
do
n't
see
the
incongruity
;
but
I
do
n't
really
care
either
way
,
whether
things
are
incongruous
or
suitable
,
I
enjoy
both
,
and
should
never
interfere
so
long
as
they
do
n't
upset
my
concerns
and
the
end
in
view
.
"
He
looked
at
her
curiously
;
again
it
seemed
he
was
at
fault
;
she
was
not
merely
a
wayward
girl
in
revolt
against
convention
,
saying
what
she
deemed
daring
for
the
sake
of
saying
it
,
and
in
the
effort
to
be
original
.
She
was
not
posing
as
a
Bohemian
any
more
than
she
was
truly
one
.
"
Have
you
usually
an
end
in
view
?
"
he
asked
.
"
Have
not
you
?
"
she
answered
,
turning
on
him
for
a
moment
eyes
that
Joost
had
described
as
"
eating
up
what
they
looked
at
.
"
"
Of
course
,
"
she
said
,
looking
away
again
,
"
it
is
quite
natural
,
and
very
possible
,
that
you
are
here
for
no
purpose
,
and
I
am
here
for
no
purpose
too
;
you
might
quite
well
have
come
to
this
little
town
for
amusement
,
and
I
have
come
for
the
money
I
might
earn
as
a
companion
.
Or
you
might
have
drifted
here
by
accident
,
as
I
might
,
without
any
special
reason
—
"
She
stopped
as
she
spoke
;
they
were
fast
approaching
the
first
house
of
the
village
now
,
and
she
held
out
her
hand
for
the
basket
.
"
I
will
take
it
,
"
she
said
;
"
I
have
a
very
short
distance
to
go
;
thank
you
so
much
.
"
"
Let
me
carry
it
the
rest
of
the
way
,
"
he
insisted
;
"
I
am
going
through
the
village
;
we
may
as
well
go
the
rest
of
the
way
together
,
I
want
you
to
tell
me
—
"
But
Julia
did
not
tell
him
anything
,
except
that
her
way
was
by
the
footpath
which
turned
off
to
the
right
.
"
I
could
not
think
of
troubling
you
further
,
"
she
said
.
"
Thank
you
.
"
She
put
her
hand
on
the
basket
,
so
that
he
was
obliged
to
yield
it
;
then
,
with
another
word
of
thanks
,
she
said
"
good-evening
,
"
and
started
by
the
path
.
For
a
moment
he
looked
after
her
,
annoyed
and
interested
against
his
will
;
of
course
,
she
meant
nothing
by
her
words
about
his
purpose
and
her
own
,
still
it
gave
him
food
for
reflection
about
her
,
and
the
apparent
incongruity
of
her
present
surroundings
.
On
the
whole
,
he
was
glad
he
had
met
her
,
partly
for
the
entertainment
she
had
given
,
and
partly
for
the
opportunity
he
had
had
to
apologise
.
An
apology
was
due
to
her
for
the
affair
of
last
winter
,
he
felt
it
;
though
,
at
the
same
time
,
he
could
not
hold
himself
much
to
blame
in
the
matter
.
He
had
gone
to
Marbridge
to
see
into
his
young
cousin
's
affairs
at
the
request
of
the
boy
's
widowed
mother
.
The
affairs
,
as
might
have
been
expected
,
were
in
muddle
enough
,
and
the
boy
himself
was
incorrigibly
silly
and
extravagant
.
The
whole
business
needed
tact
and
patience
,
and
in
the
end
had
not
been
very
satisfactorily
arranged
;
during
the
process
Captain
Polkington
's
name
had
been
mentioned
more
than
once
;
he
figured
,
among
other
ways
,
of
spending
much
and
getting
little
in
return
.
Somehow
or
other
Rawson-Clew
had
got
the
impression
that
the
Captain
was
—
well
,
perhaps
pretty
much
what
he
really
had
come
to
be
;
and
if
that
was
not
quite
what
his
wife
had
persuaded
herself
and
half
Marbridge
to
think
him
,
surely
no
one
was
to
blame
.
The
mistake
made
was
about
the
Captain
's
wife
and
daughters
and
position
in
the
town
;
Rawson-Clew
,
in
the
first
instance
,
never
gave
them
a
thought
;
the
Captain
was
a
detached
person
in
his
mind
,
and
,
as
such
,
a
possible
danger
to
his
cousin
's
loose
cash
.
He
went
to
No.
27
to
talk
plainly
to
the
man
,
not
to
tell
him
he
was
a
shark
and
an
adventurer
;
it
was
the
Captain
himself
who
translated
and
exaggerated
thus
;
not
even
to
tell
him
what
he
thought
,
that
he
was
a
worthless
old
sponge
,
but
to
make
it
plain
that
things
would
not
go
on
as
they
had
been
doing
.
The
girl
's
interruption
had
been
annoying
,
so
ill-timed
and
out
of
place
;
she
ought
to
have
gone
at
once
when
he
suggested
it
;
she
had
placed
him
and
herself
,
too
,
in
an
embarrassing
position
;
yet
,
at
the
same
time
—
he
saw
it
now
,
though
he
did
not
earlier
—
there
was
something
quaint
in
the
way
she
had
both
metaphorically
and
actually
stood
between
him
and
her
miserable
old
father
.
He
had
dictated
the
subsequent
letter
to
the
Captain
more
on
her
account
than
anything
else
.
He
considered
that
by
it
he
was
making
her
the
amend
honourable
for
the
unfortunate
interview
of
the
afternoon
,
as
well
as
closing
the
incident
.
Of
course
,
nothing
real
was
forfeited
by
the
letter
,
for
under
no
circumstances
would
the
money
have
been
repaid
;
he
never
had
any
delusion
about
that
.
From
which
it
appears
that
his
opinion
of
the
Captain
had
not
changed
.
As
for
his
opinion
of
Julia
,
he
had
not
one
when
he
first
saw
her
,
except
that
she
had
no
business
to
be
there
;
now
,
however
,
he
felt
some
little
interest
in
her
.
There
was
very
little
that
was
interesting
in
this
small
Dutch
town
;
it
was
a
refreshing
change
,
he
admitted
it
to
himself
,
to
see
a
girl
here
who
put
her
clothes
on
properly
;
something
of
a
change
to
meet
one
anywhere
who
did
not
at
once
fall
into
one
of
the
well-defined
categories
.
Much
in
this
world
has
to
be
lain
at
the
door
of
opportunity
,
and
idleness
in
youth
,
and
ennui
and
boredom
in
middle
ages
.
Rawson-Clew
was
in
the
borderland
between
the
two
,
and
did
not
consider
himself
open
to
the
temptations
of
either
.
He
was
not
idle
,
he
had
things
to
do
;
and
he
was
not
bored
,
he
had
things
to
think
about
;
but
not
enough
of
either
to
prevent
him
from
having
a
wide
margin
.
When
he
met
Julia
again
there
was
no
reason
for
dropping
the
acquaintance
renewed
through
necessity
.
But
also
there
was
no
opportunity
,
on
that
occasion
,
for
pushing
it
further
,
even
if
there
had
been
inclination
,
for
she
was
not
alone
.
It
was
on
Saturday
evening
;
she
was
walking
down
the
same
road
,
much
about
the
same
time
,
but
there
was
with
her
a
tall
,
fair
young
man
,
with
a
long
face
and
loose
limbs
.
He
carried
,
of
course
,
an
umbrella
—
that
was
part
of
his
full
dress
—
and
the
basket
—
he
walked
between
her
and
the
cart
track
.
She
bowed
sedately
to
Rawson-Clew
,
and
the
young
man
,
becoming
tardily
aware
of
it
,
took
off
his
hat
,
rather
late
,
and
with
a
sweeping
foreign
flourish
.
She
wore
a
pair
of
cotton
gloves
,
and
lifted
her
dress
a
few
inches
,
and
glanced
shyly
up
at
her
escort
now
and
then
as
he
talked
.
They
were
speaking
Dutch
,
and
she
was
behaving
Dutch
,
as
plain
and
demure
a
person
as
it
was
possible
to
imagine
,
until
she
looked
back
,
then
Rawson-Clew
saw
a
very
devil
of
mockery
and
mischief
flash
up
in
her
eyes
.
Only
for
a
second
;
the
expression
was
gone
before
her
head
was
turned
again
,
and
that
was
decorously
soon
.
But
it
had
been
there
;
it
was
like
the
momentary
parting
of
the
clouds
on
a
grey
day
;
it
illumined
her
whole
face
—
her
mind
,
too
,
perhaps
—
as
the
eerie
,
tricky
gleam
,
which
is
gone
before
a
man
knows
it
,
lights
up
the
level
landscape
,
and
transforms
it
to
something
new
and
strange
.
Rawson-Clew
walked
on
ahead
of
the
pair
;
he
had
to
outpace
them
,
since
he
was
bound
the
same
way
,
and
could
not
walk
with
them
.
He
was
not
sure
that
he
was
not
rather
sorry
for
Denah
,
the
Dutch
girl
;
one
who
can
laugh
at
herself
as
well
as
another
,
and
all
alone
,
too
,
is
he
thought
,
rather
apt
to
enjoy
the
incongruous
more
than
the
suitable
.
CHAPTER
VII
HOW
JULIA
DID
NOT
GET
THE
BLUE
DAFFODIL
Vrouw
Van
Heigen
was
learning
a
new
crochet
pattern
;
one
did
it
in
thread
of
a
Sèvres
blue
shade
;
when
several
long
strips
were
made
,
one
sewed
them
together
with
pieces
of
black
satin
between
each
two
,
and
there
was
an
antimacassar
of
severe
but
rich
beauty
.
Denah
explained
all
this
as
she
set
Mevrouw
to
work
on
the
pattern
;
it
was
very
intricate
,
quite
exciting
,
because
it
was
so
difficult
;
the
more
excited
the
old
lady
became
the
more
mistakes
she
made
,
but
it
did
not
matter
;
Denah
was
patience
itself
,
and
did
not
seem
to
mind
how
much
time
she
gave
.
She
came
every
day
after
dinner
(
that
is
to
say
,
about
six
o'clock
)
,
and
when
she
came
it
was
frequently
found
necessary
that
Julia
should
go
to
inquire
after
the
invalid
cousin
.
Denah
thought
herself
the
deepest
and
most
diplomatic
young
woman
in
Holland
;
she
even
found
it
in
her
heart
to
pity
Julia
,
the
poor
companion
,
who
she
used
as
a
pawn
in
her
romance
.
The
which
,
since
it
was
transparently
obvious
to
the
pawn
,
gave
her
vast
,
though
private
,
delight
.
So
Julia
went
almost
daily
down
the
long
flat
road
to
the
village
,
and
very
often
Rawson-Clew
had
to
go
that
way
too
;
and
when
he
did
,
his
time
of
going
being
of
necessity
much
the
same
time
as
hers
,
he
was
almost
bound
to
walk
with
her
.
There
was
but
one
way
to
the
place
;
they
must
either
walk
together
in
the
middle
of
the
road
,
or
else
separately
,
one
side
of
it
;
and
seeing
that
they
were
of
the
same
nationality
,
in
a
foreign
land
,
and
had
some
previous
acquaintance
,
it
would
have
been
nothing
short
of
absurd
to
have
done
the
latter
.
So
as
often
as
they
met
they
walked
together
and
talked
of
many
things
,
and
in
the
course
of
time
Rawson-Clew
came
to
find
Julia
's
company
a
good
deal
more
entertaining
than
his
own
;
although
she
had
read
nothing
she
ought
to
have
read
,
seen
nothing
she
ought
to
have
seen
,
and
occasionally
both
thought
and
said
things
she
certainly
ought
not
,
and
was
not
even
conventionally
unconventional
.
They
usually
parted
at
the
footpath
,
which
shortened
her
way
a
little
,
Rawson-Clew
giving
her
the
basket
there
,
and
going
down
the
road
alone
;
in
consequence
of
this
it
was
some
time
before
she
knew
for
certain
where
it
was
he
went
,
although
she
had
early
guessed
.
But
one
damp
evening
she
departed
from
her
usual
custom
.
It
had
been
raining
heavily
all
day
,
and
although
it
had
cleared
now
,
a
thick
mist
lay
over
the
wet
fields
.
"
I
shall
have
to
go
round
by
the
road
,
"
she
said
,
as
she
looked
at
the
track
.
Rawson-Clew
agreed
with
her
.
"
I
am
rather
surprised
that
you
came
out
at
all
this
evening
,
"
he
remarked
.
"
I
should
have
thought
your
careful
friends
would
have
been
afraid
of
colds
and
wet
feet
.
"
"
Vrouw
Van
Heigen
was
,
"
Julia
answered
,
"
but
Denah
and
I
were
not
.
It
is
the
last
opportunity
we
shall
have
for
a
little
while
;
Joost
goes
to
Germany
on
business
to-morrow
.
"
Rawson-Clew
laughed
.
"
Which
means
,
I
suppose
,
"
he
said
,
"
that
she
will
neglect
the
crochet
work
,
and
you
will
have
to
superintend
it
?
Not
very
congenial
to
you
,
is
it
?
"
"
Good
discipline
,
"
she
told
him
.
"
And
for
that
reason
to
be
welcomed
?
Really
you
deserve
to
succeed
in
whatever
it
is
you
are
attempting
;
you
do
not
neglect
details
.
"
"
Details
are
often
important
,
"
she
said
;
"
stopping
at
home
and
doing
crochet
work
while
Joost
is
in
Germany
,
for
instance
,
may
help
me
a
good
deal
.
"
The
tone
struck
Rawson-Clew
as
implying
more
than
the
words
said
,
but
he
did
not
ask
for
an
interpretation
,
and
before
long
she
had
put
a
question
to
him
.
They
were
nearing
a
large
house
that
stood
far
back
from
the
road
on
the
left
hand
side
.
It
was
a
big
block
of
a
place
,
greyish-white
in
colour
,
and
with
more
than
half
of
its
windows
bricked
up
,
indescribably
gloomy
.
A
long
,
straight
piece
of
water
lay
before
it
,
stretching
almost
from
the
walls
to
the
road
,
from
which
it
was
separated
by
a
low
fence
.
Tall
,
thick
trees
grew
in
a
close
row
on
either
side
,
narrowing
the
prospect
;
a
path
ran
up
beside
them
on
the
one
hand
,
the
only
way
to
the
house
,
but
in
the
steamy
mist
which
lay
thick
over
everything
this
evening
one
could
hardly
see
it
,
and
it
looked
as
if
the
place
were
unapproachable
from
the
front
.
Julia
glanced
curiously
towards
the
house
;
it
was
the
only
one
of
any
size
or
possible
interest
in
the
village
;
the
only
one
,
she
had
decided
some
time
ago
,
that
Rawson-Clew
could
have
any
reason
to
visit
.
As
they
approached
the
gate
she
ventured
,
"
You
go
here
,
do
you
not
?
"
"
Yes
,
"
he
answered
;
"
to
Herr
Van
de
Greutz
.
"
"
The
cousin
tells
me
he
is
a
great
chemist
,
"
Julia
said
.
"
He
is
,
"
Rawson-Clew
agreed
,
"
and
one
much
absorbed
in
his
work
;
it
is
impossible
to
see
him
even
on
business
except
in
the
evening
.
"
He
paused
by
the
gate
as
he
spoke
.
"
You
have
not
much
further
to
go
,
have
you
?
"
he
said
.
"
Will
you
ex
cuse
me
carrying
your
basket
further
?
I
am
afraid
I
am
rather
behind
my
time
.
"
Julia
took
the
basket
,
assuring
him
she
had
no
distance
to
carry
it
,
but
her
eyes
as
she
said
it
twinkled
with
amusement
;
it
was
not
really
late
,
and
she
knew
it
.
"
You
are
afraid
of
what
will
be
said
next
,
"
she
thought
as
she
looked
back
at
the
man
,
who
was
already
vanishing
among
the
mists
by
the
lake
.
And
the
thought
pleased
her
somewhat
,
for
it
suggested
that
Rawson-Clew
had
a
respect
for
her
acumen
,
and
also
that
her
private
fancy
—
that
the
business
which
brought
him
here
was
not
of
a
kind
for
public
discussion
—
was
correct
.
The
cousin
was
better
that
evening
;
she
even
expressed
hopes
of
living
through
the
summer
,
a
thing
she
had
not
done
for
more
than
three
days
.
Julia
cheered
and
encouraged
her
in
this
belief
(
which
,
indeed
,
there
was
every
reason
to
think
well
founded
)
and
gave
her
the
messages
and
dainties
she
had
brought
.
After
that
they
talked
of
the
weather
,
which
was
bad
;
and
the
neighbours
,
who
,
on
the
whole
,
were
good
.
Julia
knew
most
of
them
by
name
by
this
time
—
the
kind
old
Padre
and
his
wife
;
the
captain
of
the
little
cargo-boat
,
who
drank
a
little
,
and
his
generous
wife
,
who
talked
a
great
deal
;
the
fat
woman
who
kept
fowls
,
and
the
thin
one
who
sometimes
stole
the
eggs
.
Julia
had
heard
all
about
them
before
,
but
she
heard
over
again
,
and
a
little
about
the
great
chemist
,
Herr
Van
de
Greutz
,
too
.
This
great
man
was
naturally
only
a
name
to
the
invalid
and
her
friends
,
but
they
had
always
plenty
to
say
about
him
.
He
was
so
distinguished
that
all
the
village
felt
proud
to
have
him
live
on
their
borders
,
and
so
disagreeable
that
they
were
decidedly
in
awe
of
him
.
Of
his
domestic
arrangements
there
was
always
talk
;
he
lived
in
his
great
gloomy
house
with
an
old
housekeeper
,
whom
Julia
knew
by
sight
,
and
a
young
cook
,
whom
she
did
not
;
the
former
was
a
permanency
,
the
latter
very
much
the
reverse
,
it
being
difficult
to
find
a
cook
equal
to
his
demands
who
would
for
any
length
of
time
endure
the
shortness
of
the
housekeeper
's
temper
,
and
the
worse
one
of
her
master
.
The
domestic
affairs
of
the
chemist
were
a
favourite
subject
of
gossip
,
but
sometimes
his
attainments
came
in
for
mention
too
;
they
did
to-night
,
the
cousin
being
in
a
garrulous
mood
.
According
to
her
,
the
great
man
had
done
everything
in
science
worth
mentioning
,
and
was
not
only
the
first
chemist
in
Holland
,
but
in
all
the
world
;
he
looked
down
on
all
others
,
she
said
,
regarding
two
Germans
only
as
anything
approaching
his
peers
,
all
the
English
and
French
being
nothing
to
him
.
He
had
discovered
a
great
many
things
,
dyes
,
poisons
,
and
explosives
;
of
the
last
he
had
recently
perfected
one
which
was
twenty-two
times
stronger
than
anything
before
known
.
Its
nature
was
,
of
course
,
a
secret
,
but
it
would
eventually
raise
the
little
army
of
Holland
far
above
those
of
all
other
nations
.
Julia
listened
,
but
especially
to
the
last
piece
of
information
,
which
struck
her
as
being
the
one
most
likely
to
prove
interesting
.
Soon
after
hearing
it
,
however
,
she
was
obliged
to
go
.
She
made
her
farewells
,
and
received
messages
of
affection
for
Mevrouw
,
condolence
for
Mijnheer
—
who
had
a
cold
—
and
good
wishes
for
Joost
's
journey
.
Then
she
started
homewards
,
with
a
light
basket
and
a
busy
mind
.
It
did
not
take
her
very
long
to
decide
that
if
there
was
any
truth
in
this
talk
of
Van
de
Greutz
's
achievements
,
it
must
be
the
last
mentioned
—
the
explosive
—
which
brought
Rawson-Clew
here
.
Her
judgment
of
men
,
for
working
purposes
at
least
,
was
quick
and
fairly
accurate
,
necessity
and
experience
had
helped
Nature
to
make
it
so
.
There
were
one
or
two
things
in
connection
with
Rawson-Clew
which
were
very
clear
to
her
,
he
was
not
a
scientist
pure
and
simple
;
she
had
never
met
one
,
but
she
knew
he
was
not
one
,
and
so
was
not
likely
to
be
interested
in
the
great
chemist
for
chemistry
only
.
Nor
was
he
a
commercial
man
;
neither
his
instincts
nor
his
abilities
lay
in
that
direction
;
it
was
not
a
new
process
,
not
a
trade
secret
which
brought
him
here
.
Indeed
,
even
though
he
might
appreciate
the
value
of
such
things
,
he
would
never
dream
of
trying
to
possess
himself
of
them
.
Julia
understood
perfectly
the
scale
in
which
such
acts
stood
to
men
like
Rawson-Clew
.
To
attempt
to
master
a
man
's
discovery
for
one
's
own
ends
(
as
in
a
way
she
was
doing
)
was
impossible
,
rank
dishonesty
,
never
even
contemplated
;
to
do
it
for
business
purposes
—
well
,
he
might
admit
it
was
sometimes
necessary
in
business
—
commerce
had
its
morality
as
law
,
and
the
army
had
theirs
—
but
it
was
not
a
thing
he
would
ever
do
himself
,
he
would
not
feel
it
exactly
honourable
.
But
to
attempt
to
gain
a
secret
for
national
use
was
quite
another
thing
,
not
only
justifiable
but
right
,
more
especially
if
,
as
was
probably
the
case
,
the
attempt
was
in
fulfilment
of
a
direct
order
.
If
after
Herr
Van
de
Greutz
had
a
secret
worth
anything
to
England
,
it
was
that
which
had
brought
Rawson-Clew
to
the
little
town
.
She
was
as
sure
of
it
as
she
was
that
it
was
the
blue
daffodil
which
had
brought
her
.
The
hateful
blue
daffodil
!
Daily
,
to
possess
it
grew
more
imperative
.
The
intercourse
with
this
man
,
the
curious
seeming
equality
that
was
being
established
between
them
,
cried
aloud
for
the
paying
of
the
debt
,
and
the
establishing
of
the
reality
of
equality
.
She
longed
almost
passionately
to
be
able
to
regard
herself
,
to
know
that
the
man
had
reason
to
regard
her
,
as
his
equal
.
And
yet
to
possess
the
thing
seemed
daily
more
difficult
;
more
and
more
plainly
did
she
see
that
bribery
,
persuasion
,
cajolery
were
alike
useless
.
The
precious
bulb
could
be
got
in
one
way
,
and
one
only
;
it
would
never
fall
into
her
hands
by
skilful
accident
,
or
nicely
stimulated
generosity
;
she
must
take
it
,
or
she
must
do
without
it
.
She
must
get
it
for
herself
as
deliberately
as
,
in
all
probability
,
Rawson-Clew
meant
to
get
Herr
Van
de
Greutz
's
secret
.
She
raised
her
head
and
looked
at
the
flat
,
wet
landscape
with
unseeing
eyes
that
were
contemptuous
.
How
different
two
not
dissimilar
acts
could
be
made
to
look
!
If
she
took
the
daffodil
—
and
she
would
have
unique
opportunity
to
try
during
the
next
two
days
—
Rawson-Clew
would
regard
her
as
little
better
than
a
common
thief
;
that
is
,
if
he
happened
to
know
about
it
.
She
winced
a
little
as
she
thought
of
the
faint
expression
of
surprise
the
knowledge
would
call
up
in
his
impassive
face
and
cold
grey
eyes
.
She
could
well
imagine
the
slight
difference
in
his
manner
to
her
afterwards
,
scarcely
noticeable
to
the
casual
observer
,
impossible
to
be
overlooked
by
her
.
She
told
herself
she
did
not
care
what
he
thought
;
but
she
did
.
Pride
was
grasping
at
a
desired
,
but
impossible
,
equality
with
this
man
,
and
here
,
were
the
means
used
only
known
,
was
the
nearest
way
to
lose
it
.
At
times
he
had
forgotten
the
gap
of
age
and
circumstances
between
them
—
really
forgotten
it
,
she
knew
,
not
only
ignored
it
in
his
well-bred
way
.
He
had
for
a
moment
really
regarded
her
as
an
equal
;
not
,
perhaps
,
as
he
might
the
women
of
his
class
,
rather
the
men
of
like
experience
and
attainments
with
himself
.
That
was
not
what
she
wanted
,
but
she
recognised
plainly
that
in
grasping
at
a
shadowy
social
feminine
equality
by
paying
the
debt
,
she
might
well
lose
this
small
substance
of
masculine
equality
,
for
there
is
no
gulf
so
unbridgeable
between
man
and
man
as
a
different
standard
of
honour
.
But
after
all
,
she
asked
herself
,
what
did
it
matter
?
He
need
not
know
;
she
would
pay
,
fulfilling
her
word
,
and
proving
her
father
an
honest
man
(
which
he
was
not
)
;
the
debtor
could
not
know
how
it
was
done
.
And
if
he
did
,
what
then
?
If
she
told
him
herself
—
he
would
know
no
other
way
—
she
would
do
it
deliberately
with
the
set
purpose
of
tarring
him
with
the
same
brush
;
she
would
show
him
how
his
attempt
on
Herr
Van
de
Greutz
might
also
be
made
to
look
.
He
would
not
be
convinced
,
of
course
,
but
at
bottom
the
two
things
were
so
related
that
it
would
be
surprising
if
she
did
not
get
a
few
shafts
home
.
He
would
not
show
the
wounds
then
,
but
they
would
be
there
;
they
would
rankle
;
there
would
be
some
humiliation
for
him
,
too
.
A
curious
light
crept
into
her
eyes
at
the
thought
;
she
was
surer
of
being
able
to
reduce
him
than
of
exalting
herself
,
and
it
is
good
,
when
circumstances
prevent
one
from
mounting
,
to
drag
a
superior
to
the
level
of
one
's
humiliation
.
For
a
moment
she
understood
something
of
the
feelings
of
the
brute
mob
that
throws
mud
.
By
this
time
she
had
reached
the
town
,
though
almost
without
knowing
it
;
so
deep
was
she
in
her
thoughts
that
she
did
not
see
Joost
coming
towards
her
.
He
had
been
to
escort
Denah
,
who
had
thoughtfully
forgotten
to
provide
herself
with
a
cloak
;
he
was
now
coming
back
,
carrying
the
wrap
his
mother
had
lent
her
.
Julia
started
when
she
became
aware
of
him
just
in
front
of
her
.
She
was
not
pleased
to
see
him
;
she
had
no
room
for
him
in
her
mind
just
then
;
he
seemed
incongruous
and
out
of
place
.
She
even
looked
at
him
a
little
suspiciously
,
as
if
she
were
afraid
the
fermenting
thoughts
in
her
brain
might
make
themselves
felt
by
him
.
He
turned
and
walked
beside
her
.
"
I
have
been
to
take
home
Miss
Denah
,
"
he
explained
.
"
I
saw
you
a
long
way
off
,
and
thought
perhaps
I
might
escort
you
;
but
you
are
angry
;
I
am
sorry
.
"
Julia
could
not
forbear
smiling
at
him
.
"
I
am
not
angry
,
"
she
said
,
as
she
would
to
a
child
;
"
I
was
only
thinking
.
"
"
Of
something
unpleasant
,
then
,
that
makes
you
angry
?
"
"
No
;
of
something
that
must
have
been
enjoyable
.
I
was
thinking
how
,
in
the
French
Revolution
,
the
women
of
the
people
must
have
enjoyed
throwing
mud
at
the
women
of
the
aristocrats
;
how
they
must
have
liked
scratching
the
paint
and
the
skin
from
their
faces
,
and
tearing
their
hair
down
,
and
their
clothes
off
.
"
Joost
stared
in
amazement
.
"
Do
you
call
that
not
unpleasant
?
"
he
said
.
"
It
is
the
most
grievous
,
the
most
pitiable
thing
in
all
the
world
.
"
"
For
the
aristocrats
,
yes
,
"
Julia
agreed
;
"
but
for
the
others
?
Can
you
not
imagine
how
they
must
have
revelled
in
it
?
"
Joost
could
not
;
he
could
not
imagine
anything
violent
or
terrible
,
and
Julia
went
on
to
ask
him
another
question
,
which
,
however
,
she
answered
herself
.
"
Do
you
know
why
the
women
of
the
people
did
it
?
It
was
not
only
because
the
others
had
food
and
they
had
not
;
I
think
it
was
more
because
the
aristocrats
had
a
thousand
other
things
that
they
had
not
,
and
could
never
have
—
feelings
,
instincts
,
pleasures
,
traditions
—
which
they
could
not
have
had
or
enjoyed
even
if
they
had
been
put
in
palaces
and
dressed
like
queens
.
It
was
the
fact
that
they
could
never
,
never
rise
to
them
,
that
helped
to
make
them
so
furious
to
pull
all
down
.
"
There
was
a
sincerity
of
conviction
in
her
tone
,
but
Joost
only
said
,
"
You
cannot
enjoy
to
think
of
such
things
;
it
is
horrible
and
pitiable
to
remember
that
human
creatures
became
so
like
beasts
.
"
Julia
's
mood
altered
.
"
Pitiable
,
yes
;
perhaps
you
are
right
.
After
all
,
we
are
pitiful
creatures
,
and
,
under
the
thin
veneer
,
like
enough
to
the
beasts
.
"
Then
she
changed
the
subject
abruptly
,
and
began
to
talk
of
his
flowers
.
But
he
was
not
satisfied
with
the
change
;
instinctively
he
felt
she
was
talking
to
his
level
.
"
Why
do
you
always
speak
to
me
of
bulbs
and
plants
?
"
he
said
.
"
Do
you
think
I
am
interested
in
nothing
else
?
"
"
No
,
"
she
said
;
"
I
speak
of
them
because
I
am
interested
.
Do
you
not
believe
me
?
It
is
quite
true
;
you
yourself
have
said
that
I
should
make
a
good
florist
;
already
I
have
learnt
a
great
deal
,
although
I
have
not
been
here
long
,
and
knew
nothing
before
I
came
.
"
"
That
is
so
,
"
he
admitted
;
"
you
are
very
clever
.
Nevertheless
,
I
do
not
think
,
if
you
were
alone
now
,
you
would
be
thinking
of
plants
.
You
were
not
when
I
met
you
;
it
was
the
Revolution
,
or
,
perhaps
,
human
nature
—
you
called
it
the
Revolution
in
a
parable
,
as
you
often
do
when
you
speak
your
thoughts
.
"
"
Why
do
you
trouble
about
my
thoughts
?
"
Julia
said
,
impatiently
.
"
How
do
you
know
what
I
think
?
"
"
Perhaps
I
do
n't
,
"
he
answered
;
"
only
sometimes
it
seems
to
me
your
voice
tells
me
though
your
words
do
not
.
"
"
My
voice
?
"
"
Yes
;
it
is
full
of
notes
like
a
violin
,
and
speaks
more
than
words
.
I
suppose
all
voices
have
many
notes
really
,
but
people
do
not
often
use
them
;
they
use
only
a
few
.
You
use
many
;
that
is
why
I
like
to
listen
to
you
when
you
talk
to
my
parents
,
or
any
one
.
It
is
like
a
master
playing
on
an
instrument
;
you
make
simple
words
mean
much
,
more
than
I
understand
sometimes
;
you
can
caress
and
you
can
laugh
with
your
voice
;
I
have
heard
you
do
it
when
I
have
not
been
able
to
understand
what
you
caress
,
or
at
what
you
laugh
,
any
more
than
an
ignorant
person
can
understand
what
the
violin
says
,
although
he
may
enjoy
to
hear
it
.
To-night
you
do
not
caress
or
laugh
;
there
is
something
black
in
your
thoughts
.
"
"
That
is
human
nature
,
as
you
say
,
"
Julia
said
shortly
,
ignoring
the
comment
on
her
voice
.
"
Human
nature
is
a
hateful
,
ugly
thing
;
there
is
no
use
in
thinking
about
it
.
"
"
It
has
certainly
fallen
,
"
Joost
allowed
;
"
but
I
have
sometimes
thought
perhaps
,
if
it
were
not
so
,
it
would
be
a
little
—
a
very
little
—
monotonous
.
"
"
You
would
not
find
it
dull
,
"
Julia
told
him
.
"
I
believe
you
would
not
have
got
on
very
well
in
the
Garden
of
Eden
,
except
that
,
since
all
the
herbs
grew
after
their
own
kind
,
there
would
be
no
opportunity
to
hybridise
them
.
"
But
the
mystery
of
production
and
generation
,
even
in
the
vegetable
world
,
was
not
a
subject
that
modesty
permitted
Joost
to
discuss
with
a
girl
.
His
manner
showed
it
,
to
her
impatient
annoyance
,
as
he
hastily
introduced
another
aspect
of
man
's
first
estate
.
"
If
we
were
not
fallen
,
"
he
added
,
"
we
should
have
no
opportunity
to
rise
.
That
,
indeed
,
would
be
a
loss
;
is
it
not
the
struggle
which
makes
the
grand
and
fine
characters
which
we
admire
?
"
"
I
do
n't
admire
them
,
"
Julia
returned
;
"
I
admire
the
people
who
are
born
good
,
because
they
are
a
miracle
.
"
He
stopped
to
unfasten
the
gate
;
it
did
not
occur
to
him
that
she
was
thinking
of
himself
.
"
I
cannot
agree
with
you
,
"
he
said
,
as
they
went
up
the
drive
together
.
"
Rather
,
I
admire
those
who
have
fought
temptation
,
who
are
strong
,
who
know
and
understand
and
have
conquered
;
they
inspire
me
to
try
and
follow
.
What
inspiration
is
there
in
the
other
?
Consider
Miss
Denah
,
for
an
example
;
she
has
perhaps
never
wanted
to
do
more
wrong
than
to
take
her
mother
's
prunes
,
but
is
there
inspiration
in
her
?
She
is
as
soft
and
as
kind
as
a
feather
pillow
,
and
as
inspiring
.
But
you
—
you
told
me
once
you
were
bad
;
I
did
not
believe
you
;
I
did
not
understand
,
but
now
I
know
your
meaning
.
You
have
it
in
your
power
to
be
bad
or
to
be
good
;
you
know
which
is
which
,
for
you
have
seen
badness
,
and
know
it
as
men
who
live
see
it
.
You
have
fought
with
it
and
conquered
;
you
have
struggled
,
you
do
struggle
,
you
have
strength
in
you
.
That
is
why
you
are
like
a
lantern
that
is
sometimes
bright
and
sometimes
dim
,
but
always
a
beacon
.
"
"
I
am
nothing
of
the
sort
,
"
Julia
said
sharply
.
They
were
in
the
dense
shadow
of
the
trees
,
so
he
could
not
see
her
face
,
but
her
voice
sounded
strange
to
him
.
"
You
do
not
know
what
you
are
talking
about
,
"
she
said
;
"
hardly
in
my
life
have
I
asked
myself
if
a
thing
is
right
or
wrong
—
do
you
understand
me
?
Right
and
wrong
are
not
things
I
think
about
.
"
"
It
is
quite
likely
,
"
he
said
,
serenely
;
"
different
persons
have
different
names
for
the
same
things
,
as
you
have
once
said
;
one
calls
it
'
honourable
'
and
'
dishonourable
,
'
and
another
'
right
'
and
'
wrong
,
'
and
another
'
wise
'
and
'
unwise
.
'
But
it
is
always
the
same
thing
;
it
means
to
choose
the
more
difficult
path
that
leads
to
the
greater
end
,
and
leave
the
other
way
to
the
lesser
and
smaller
souls
.
"
Julia
caught
her
breath
with
a
little
gasping
choke
.
Joost
turned
and
looked
at
her
,
puzzled
at
last
;
but
though
they
had
now
reached
the
house
,
and
the
lamplight
shone
on
her
,
he
could
make
out
nothing
;
she
brushed
past
him
and
went
in
quickly
.
The
next
day
Joost
started
for
Germany
.
It
rained
more
or
less
all
day
,
and
Julia
did
not
go
out
,
except
for
half-an-hour
during
the
morning
,
when
she
was
obliged
to
go
marketing
.
She
met
Denah
bound
on
the
same
errand
,
and
heard
from
her
,
what
she
knew
already
,
that
she
would
not
be
able
to
come
and
superintend
the
crochet
that
day
.
And
being
in
a
black
and
reckless
mood
,
she
had
the
effrontery
to
laugh
a
silent
,
comprehending
little
laugh
in
the
face
of
the
Dutch
girl
's
elaborate
explanations
.
Denah
was
a
good
deal
annoyed
,
and
,
though
her
self-esteem
did
not
allow
her
to
realise
the
full
meaning
of
the
offence
,
she
did
not
forget
it
.
Julia
went
home
with
her
purchases
,
and
spent
the
rest
of
the
day
in
the
usual
small
occupations
.
It
was
an
interminably
long
day
she
found
.
She
contrived
to
hide
her
feelings
,
however
,
and
behaved
beautifully
,
giving
the
suitable
attention
and
suitable
answers
to
all
Mevrouw
's
little
remarks
about
the
weather
,
and
Joost
's
wet
journey
(
though
,
since
he
was
in
the
train
,
Julia
could
not
see
that
the
wet
mattered
to
him
)
,
and
about
Mijnheer
's
cold
,
which
was
very
bad
indeed
.
The
day
wore
on
.
Julia
missed
Joost
's
presence
at
meals
;
they
were
not
in
the
habit
of
talking
much
to
each
other
at
such
times
,
it
is
true
,
but
she
always
knew
when
she
talked
to
his
parents
that
he
was
listening
,
and
putting
another
and
fuller
interpretation
on
her
words
.
That
was
stimulating
and
pleasant
too
;
it
was
a
new
form
of
intercourse
,
and
she
did
not
pretend
she
did
not
enjoy
it
for
itself
,
as
well
as
for
the
opportunity
it
gave
her
of
probing
his
mind
and
trying
different
ideas
on
him
.
At
last
dinner
was
over
,
and
tea
;
the
tea
things
were
washed
,
and
the
long-neglected
fancy
work
brought
out
.
A
clock
in
the
passage
struck
the
hour
when
,
of
late
,
after
an
exhilirating
verbal
skirmish
with
the
anxious
Denah
,
she
had
set
out
for
the
village
and
Rawson-Clew
.
She
did
not
pretend
to
herself
that
she
did
not
enjoy
that
too
,
she
did
immensely
;
there
was
a
breath
from
the
outside
world
in
it
;
there
was
sometimes
the
inspiring
clash
of
wits
,
of
steel
on
steel
,
always
the
charm
of
educated
intercourse
and
quick
comprehension
.
To-night
there
was
nothing
;
no
exercise
to
stir
the
blood
,
no
solitude
to
stimulate
the
imagination
,
no
effort
of
talk
or
understanding
to
rouse
the
mind
.
Nothing
but
to
sit
at
work
,
giving
one-eighth
of
attention
to
talk
with
Mevrouw
—
more
was
not
needed
,
and
the
rest
to
the
blue
daffodils
that
lay
securely
locked
up
in
a
place
only
too
well
known
.
Evening
darkened
,
grey
and
dripping
,
to-night
,
supper-getting
time
came
,
and
the
hour
for
locking
up
the
barns
.
Mijnheer
,
snuffling
and
wheezing
a
good
deal
,
put
on
a
coat
,
a
mackintosh
,
a
comforter
,
a
pair
of
boots
and
a
pair
of
galoshes
;
took
an
umbrella
,
the
lantern
,
a
great
bunch
of
keys
,
and
went
out
.
Julia
watched
him
go
,
and
said
nothing
;
she
had
been
the
rounds
a
good
many
times
with
Joost
now
;
the
family
had
talked
about
it
more
than
once
,
and
about
her
bravery
with
regard
to
rats
and
robbers
.
Neither
of
the
old
people
would
have
been
surprised
if
she
had
volunteered
to
go
in
place
of
Mijnheer
,
even
if
his
cold
had
not
offered
a
reason
for
such
a
thing
.
But
she
did
not
do
it
;
he
went
alone
,
and
the
blue
daffodil
bulbs
lay
snug
in
their
locked
place
.
The
next
day
it
still
rained
,
but
a
good
deal
harder
.
There
was
a
sudden
drop
in
the
temperature
,
too
,
such
as
one
often
finds
in
an
English
summer
.
The
Van
Heigens
did
not
have
a
fire
on
that
account
,
their
stoves
always
kept
a
four
months
'
sabbath
;
the
advent
of
a
snow-storm
in
July
would
not
have
been
allowed
to
break
it
.
Mijnheer
's
cold
was
decidedly
worse
;
towards
evening
it
grew
very
bad
.
He
came
in
early
from
the
office
,
and
sat
and
shivered
in
the
sitting-room
with
Julia
and
his
wife
,
who
was
continuing
the
crochet
unaided
,
and
so
laying
up
much
future
work
for
Denah
.
At
last
it
was
considered
dark
enough
for
the
lamp
to
be
lighted
.
Julia
got
up
and
lit
it
,
and
drew
the
blind
,
shutting
out
the
grey
sheet
of
the
canal
and
the
slanting
rain
.
"
Dear
me
,
"
Mevrouw
said
once
again
,
"
how
bad
the
rain
must
be
for
Joost
!
"
Julia
agreed
,
but
reminded
her
—
also
once
again
—
that
it
was
possibly
not
raining
in
Germany
.
Mijnheer
looked
up
from
his
paper
to
remark
that
the
weather
was
very
bad
for
the
crops
.
"
It
is
bad
for
every
one
,
"
his
wife
rejoined
;
"
but
worse
of
all
for
you
.
You
should
be
in
bed
.
Indeed
,
it
is
not
fit
that
you
should
be
up
;
the
house
is
like
a
cellar
this
evening
.
"
Mijnheer
did
not
suggest
the
remedy
of
a
fire
;
he
,
too
,
shared
the
belief
that
stoves
should
not
be
lighted
before
the
appointed
time
;
he
only
protested
at
the
idea
of
bed
.
"
Pooh
!
"
he
said
.
"
Make
myself
an
invalid
with
Joost
away
!
Will
you
go
and
nurse
my
nose
,
and
put
plasters
on
my
chest
?
Go
to
bed
now
,
do
you
say
?
No
,
no
,
my
dear
,
I
will
sit
here
;
I
am
comfortable
enough
;
I
read
my
paper
,
I
smoke
my
cigar
;
by
and
by
,
I
go
out
to
see
that
my
barns
are
all
safe
for
the
night
.
"
But
at
this
Mevrouw
gave
an
exclamation
;
the
idea
of
his
going
out
in
such
weather
was
terrible
,
she
said
,
and
she
said
it
a
good
many
times
.
Julia
bent
over
her
work
;
she
heard
the
swish
of
the
rain
on
the
window
,
the
uneven
sob
of
the
fitful
wind
;
she
heard
the
old
people
talk
,
the
husband
persist
,
the
wife
protest
.
She
did
not
look
up
;
her
eyes
were
fixed
on
her
needle
,
but
she
hardly
saw
it
;
more
plainly
she
saw
the
dark
barns
,
the
crowded
shelves
,
the
place
where
the
blue
daffodils
were
.
She
could
find
them
with
perfect
ease
;
could
choose
one
in
the
dark
as
easily
as
Mijnheer
himself
;
she
could
substitute
for
it
another
,
one
of
the
common
sort
of
the
same
shape
and
size
;
no
one
would
be
the
wiser
;
even
when
it
bloomed
,
with
the
simple
yellow
flower
that
has
beautified
spring
woods
so
long
,
no
one
would
know
it
was
not
a
sport
of
nature
,
a
throw
back
to
the
original
parent
.
It
was
the
simplest
thing
in
all
the
world
;
the
safest
.
Not
that
that
recommended
it
;
she
would
rather
it
had
been
difficult
or
dangerous
,
it
would
have
savoured
more
of
a
fair
fight
and
less
of
trickery
.
Besides
,
such
safety
was
nothing
;
anything
can
be
made
safe
with
care
and
forethought
.
She
caught
her
own
name
in
the
talk
now
;
husband
and
wife
were
speaking
lower
,
evidently
arguing
as
to
the
propriety
of
asking
her
to
go
the
rounds
;
for
a
moment
she
pretended
not
to
hear
,
then
she
raised
her
head
,
contempt
for
her
own
weakness
in
her
mind
.
It
is
not
opportunity
that
makes
thieves
of
thinking
folk
,
and
she
knew
it
;
rather
it
is
the
thief
that
makes
opportunity
,
if
he
is
up
to
his
work
.
Why
should
she
be
afraid
to
go
to
the
barns
?
She
would
not
take
the
daffodil
the
more
for
going
;
if
she
meant
to
do
it
,
and
,
through
cowardice
,
let
this
opportunity
slip
,
she
would
soon
find
another
.
And
if
she
did
not
mean
to
,
the
proximity
of
the
thing
would
not
make
her
take
it
.
She
put
down
her
work
.
"
I
will
lock
up
for
you
,
Mijnheer
;
give
me
the
keys
.
"
He
protested
,
and
his
wife
protested
,
much
more
feebly
,
and
thanked
her
for
going
the
while
.
They
gave
her
many
directions
,
and
told
her
she
must
put
on
this
,
that
,
and
the
other
,
and
must
be
careful
not
to
get
her
feet
wet
,
and
really
need
not
to
be
too
particular
in
examining
all
the
doors
.
She
answered
them
with
impatient
politeness
,
as
one
does
who
is
waiting
for
the
advent
of
a
greater
matter
;
she
was
not
irritated
by
the
trivial
interruptions
which
came
between
her
and
the
decision
which
was
yet
to
be
made
;
it
was
somehow
so
great
to
her
that
it
seemed
as
if
it
could
wait
.
At
last
she
was
off
,
Mijnheer
's
galoshes
wallowing
about
her
feet
,
his
black-caped
mackintosh
thrown
round
her
shoulders
.
She
had
neither
hat
nor
umbrella
.
Mevrouw
literally
wailed
when
she
started
;
but
it
made
no
impression
,
she
came
of
the
nation
most
indifferent
to
getting
wet
,
and
most-susceptible
to
death
by
consumption
of
any
in
Europe
.
She
slopped
along
in
the
great
galoshes
,
her
back
to
the
lighted
house
now
,
her
face
to
the
dark
barns
.
There
they
were
,
easily
accessible
,
waiting
for
her
.
Was
she
to
take
one
,
or
was
she
not
?
She
did
not
give
herself
any
excuse
for
taking
it
,
or
tell
herself
that
one
out
of
six
was
not
much
;
or
that
Joost
,
could
he
know
the
case
,
would
not
have
grudged
her
one
of
his
precious
bulbs
.
There
was
only
one
thing
she
admitted
—
it
was
there
,
and
her
need
for
it
was
great
.
With
it
she
could
pay
a
debt
that
was
due
,
show
her
father
an
honourable
man
,
and
,
seeing
that
the
affair
could
always
remain
secret
,
raise
herself
nearer
to
Rawson-Clew
's
level
.
Without
it
she
could
not
.
She
had
come
to
the
first
barn
now
,
and
,
unbarring
the
door
,
went
in
.
Almost
oppressive
came
the
dry
smell
of
the
bulbs
to
her
;
very
familiar
,
too
,
as
familiar
as
the
distorted
shadows
that
her
lantern
made
.
Together
they
brought
vividly
to
her
mind
the
first
time
she
went
the
rounds
with
Joost
—
the
night
when
she
told
him
she
was
bad
,
the
worst
person
he
knew
.
Poor
Joost
,
he
had
interpreted
her
words
his
own
way
;
she
remembered
very
plainly
what
he
said
but
two
nights
ago
—
right
and
wrong
,
honourable
and
dishonourable
,
wise
and
unwise
,
they
meant
the
same
thing
to
different
people
,
the
choosing
of
the
higher
,
the
leaving
of
the
lower
—
and
he
believed
no
less
of
her
.
That
belief
,
surely
,
was
a
thing
that
fought
on
the
side
of
the
angels
?
And
then
there
was
that
other
man
,
able
,
well-bred
,
intellectual
,
her
superior
,
who
had
treated
her
as
an
equal
,
and
so
tacitly
demanded
that
she
should
conform
to
his
code
of
honour
.
And
there
was
Johnny
Gillat
,
poor
,
old
round-faced
Johnny
,
who
,
under
his
silly
,
shabby
exterior
,
had
somewhere
,
quite
understood
,
the
same
code
,
and
standard
of
a
gentleman
,
and
never
doubted
but
that
she
had
it
too
—
surely
these
two
,
also
,
were
on
the
side
of
the
angels
?
But
it
was
not
a
matter
of
angels
,
neither
was
it
a
matter
of
this
man
's
thought
,
or
that
.
At
bottom
,
it
seemed
all
questions
could
be
brought
to
plain
terms
—
What
do
I
think
?
I
,
alone
in
the
big
,
black
,
contradictory
world
.
Julia
realised
it
,
and
asked
herself
what
it
mattered
if
he
,
if
they
,
if
all
the
world
called
it
wrong
?
What
—
pitiless
,
logical
question
—
was
wrong
?
Why
should
to
take
in
one
case
be
so
called
,
and
in
another
not
?
By
whose
word
,
and
by
what
law
was
a
thing
thus
,
and
why
was
she
to
submit
to
it
?
She
faced
the
darkness
,
the
lantern
at
her
feet
,
her
back
against
the
shelves
,
and
asked
herself
the
world-old
question
;
and
,
like
many
before
her
,
found
no
answer
,
because
logic
,
merciless
solvent
of
faith
and
hope
and
law
,
never
answers
its
own
riddles
.
Only
,
as
she
stood
there
,
there
rose
up
before
her
mind
's
eye
the
face
of
Joost
,
with
its
simple
gravity
,
its
earnest
,
trusting
blue
eyes
.
She
saw
it
,
and
she
saw
the
humble
dignity
with
which
he
had
shown
her
his
six
bulbs
.
Not
as
a
proud
possessor
shows
a
treasure
,
rather
as
an
adept
shares
some
secret
of
his
faith
or
art
;
so
had
he
placed
them
in
her
power
,
given
her
a
chance
to
so
use
this
trust
.
She
almost
groaned
aloud
as
she
recalled
him
,
and
recalled
,
sorely
against
her
will
,
a
horrible
tale
she
had
once
read
,
of
a
Brahmin
who
murdered
a
little
child
for
her
worthless
silver
anklets
.
Joost
was
a
veritable
child
to
her
,
powerless
before
her
ability
,
trusting
in
her
good
faith
,
a
child
indeed
,
even
if
he
had
not
placed
his
secret
in
her
grasp
.
And
it
was
he
—
this
child
—
that
she
,
with
her
superior
strength
,
was
going
to
rob
!
She
shivered
.
Why
was
he
not
Rawson-Clew
?
Why
could
not
he
take
better
care
of
himself
and
his
possessions
?
She
could
have
done
it
with
a
light
heart
then
;
there
would
have
been
a
semblance
of
fight
in
it
;
but
now
—
now
it
could
not
be
done
.
Logic
,
the
pitiless
solvent
,
has
no
action
on
those
old
long-transmitted
instincts
;
it
may
argue
with
,
but
it
cannot
destroy
,
those
vague
yearnings
of
the
natural
man
towards
righteousness
.
Julia
did
not
argue
,
she
only
obeyed
;
she
did
not
know
why
.
She
picked
up
the
lantern
,
and
moved
to
go
;
as
she
did
so
,
the
barn
door
,
lightly
fastened
,
blew
open
.
A
rush
of
rain
and
wind
swept
in
,
the
smell
of
the
wet
earth
,
and
the
sight
of
the
tossing
trees
,
and
massed
clouds
that
fled
across
the
sky
.
For
a
moment
she
stood
and
looked
,
hearing
the
wild
night
voices
,
the
sob
of
the
wet
wind
,
the
rustle
and
mutter
of
the
trees
—
those
primitive
inarticulate
things
that
do
not
lie
.
And
in
her
heart
she
felt
very
weary
of
shams
and
pretences
,
very
hungry
for
the
rest
of
reality
and
truth
.
She
turned
away
,
and
made
the
round
of
the
barns
systematically
,
and
without
haste
;
she
did
not
hurry
past
the
resting-place
of
the
blue
daffodils
,
they
were
safe
from
her
now
and
always
.
It
was
not
till
some
weeks
later
that
she
saw
,
and
not
then
without
also
seeing
it
was
quite
impossible
to
disprove
the
proposition
,
that
there
was
something
grimly
absurd
in
the
idea
which
had
possessed
her
that
night
—
the
thought
of
stealing
to
prove
a
lie
,
and
acting
dis
honourably
to
pay
a
debt
of
honour
.
At
the
time
she
did
not
think
at
all
,
she
acted
on
instinct
only
.
Thank
God
for
those
dumb
instincts
,
making
for
righteousness
,
which
,
in
spite
of
theologians
,
are
implanted
somewhere
in
the
heart
of
man
.
So
she
went
the
rounds
,
fastened
the
barns
,
and
came
out
of
the
last
one
,
locking
the
door
after
her
.
Outside
,
she
stood
a
second
,
the
rain
falling
upon
her
bare
head
,
the
wind
blowing
her
cloak
about
her
.
And
she
did
not
feel
triumphant
or
victorious
,
nor
reluctant
and
contemptuous
of
her
weakness
;
only
somehow
apart
and
alone
,
and
very
,
very
tired
.
CHAPTER
VIII
POOFERCHJES
AND
JEALOUSY
The
Polkingtons
were
launching
out
;
not
ostentatiously
with
expensive
entertainments
or
anything
striking
,
but
in
all
small
ways
,
scarcely
noticeable
except
in
general
effect
,
but
none
the
less
expensive
.
They
could
not
afford
it
;
the
past
nine
months
had
been
very
difficult
,
first
the
Captain
's
unfortunate
misuse
of
the
cheque
,
then
Violet
's
engagement
and
the
necessary
entertainment
that
it
involved
,
and
then
her
wedding
.
Financially
they
were
in
a
very
bad
way
,
but
that
did
not
prevent
them
spending
—
or
owing
—
in
a
rather
lordly
fashion
.
Mrs.
Polkington
with
one
daughter
married
,
and
another
safely
out
of
the
way
,
seemed
determined
to
take
the
field
well
with
the
remaining
one
.
Chèrie
was
quite
ready
to
second
the
effort
,
indeed
,
she
was
the
instigator
;
she
was
not
only
the
prettiest
of
the
sisters
,
but
also
the
most
ease
loving
,
and
though
ambitious
,
less
clever
than
the
others
,
and
a
great
deal
more
short-sighted
.
She
had
for
some
time
ceased
to
be
content
with
the
position
at
Marbridge
and
the
society
there
;
she
wanted
to
be
recognised
by
the
"
county
.
"
This
desire
had
been
growing
of
late
,
for
there
had
been
a
very
eligible
and
attractive
bachelor
addition
to
that
charmed
circle
,
and
he
had
more
than
once
looked
admiration
her
way
.
She
and
her
mother
went
to
work
well
and
spared
neither
time
nor
trouble
;
not
much
result
could
be
expected
during
the
summer
months
,
little
done
then
except
get
ready
—
an
expensive
proceeding
.
It
was
when
September
brought
people
home
for
the
partridge
shooting
and
October
's
pheasants
kept
them
there
till
hunting
began
,
that
they
expected
their
success
and
the
return
for
their
outlay
,
and
they
were
quite
content
to
wait
for
it
.
Their
plans
and
doings
were
naturally
not
confided
to
any
one
,
not
even
Julia
;
she
heard
seldom
from
Marbridge
;
the
family
feelings
were
of
a
somewhat
utilitarian
order
,
based
largely
on
mutual
benefit
.
She
wrote
now
and
then
;
she
happened
to
do
so
on
the
day
after
the
one
on
which
she
did
not
take
the
blue
daffodil
;
and
she
mentioned
in
this
letter
that
it
was
possible
she
should
be
home
again
soon
.
Seeing
that
she
had
decided
the
daffodil
was
unobtainable
she
saw
little
reason
for
staying
longer
;
this
of
course
she
did
not
mention
when
she
wrote
.
Somewhat
to
her
surprise
she
got
an
almost
immediate
reply
to
her
letter
.
It
would
not
suit
Mrs.
Polkington
and
Chèrie
to
have
Julia
back
soon
at
all
;
it
is
always
easier
to
swim
socially
with
one
daughter
than
two
,
especially
if
the
second
is
not
good-looking
.
Also
,
Julia
,
cautious
,
long-headed
and
capable
,
was
certain
to
criticise
their
proceedings
and
do
her
best
to
interfere
with
them
.
She
would
be
wrong
in
her
judgments
,
of
course
,
and
they
right
;
they
were
sure
of
that
,
but
they
did
not
want
the
trouble
of
attempting
to
convert
her
,
and
anyhow
,
they
felt
they
could
do
much
better
without
her
,
and
Mrs.
Polkington
wrote
and
intimated
as
much
politely
.
She
gave
several
excellent
reasons
,
all
of
which
were
perfectly
transparent
to
Julia
,
though
that
did
not
matter
,
seeing
that
she
was
sufficiently
hurt
in
her
feelings
,
or
her
pride
,
to
at
once
determine
to
fulfil
her
mother
's
wishes
and
do
anything
rather
than
go
where
she
was
not
wanted
.
There
was
not
much
said
of
the
plans
and
doings
in
Mrs.
Polkington
's
letter
,
but
a
little
crept
in
almost
without
the
writer
's
knowledge
,
enough
to
rouse
Julia
's
suspicions
.
Why
,
she
asked
herself
,
was
her
mother
suddenly
enamoured
with
the
beauty
of
Chippendale
furniture
?
How
did
she
know
that
Sturt
's
(
the
tailor
's
)
prices
were
lower
for
costumes
this
season
?
And
in
what
way
had
she
become
aware
what
the
Ashton
's
last
parlour-maid
thought
,
if
she
had
not
engaged
that
young
woman
for
her
own
service
?
Julia
was
at
once
uneasy
and
disgusted
;
the
last
alike
with
the
proceedings
themselves
and
the
attempt
to
deceive
her
about
them
.
And
another
letter
she
received
at
the
same
time
did
not
make
her
any
more
satisfied
;
it
was
from
Johnny
Gillat
,
about
as
silly
and
uninforming
a
