we?
”
“
No
,
”
he
said
.
“
One
has
no
right
to
try
—
not
with
the
best
intentions
in
the
world
.
”
“
Do
you
try
to
force
them
?
”
she
asked
.
“
Perhaps
,
”
he
said
.
“
Why
should
I
want
him
to
be
free
,
if
it
isn’t
his
business
?
”
She
paused
for
a
time
.
“
We
can’t
make
him
happy
,
anyhow
,
”
she
said
.
“
He’d
have
to
be
it
of
himself
.
”
“
I
know
,
”
he
said
.
“
But
we
want
other
people
with
us
,
don’t
we
?
”
“
Why
should
we
?
”
she
asked
.
“
I
don’t
know
,
”
he
said
uneasily
.
“
One
has
a
hankering
after
a
sort
of
further
fellowship
.
”
“
But
why
?
”
she
insisted
.
“
Why
should
you
hanker
after
other
people
?
Why
should
you
need
them
?
”
This
hit
him
right
on
the
quick
.
His
brows
knitted
.
“
Does
it
end
with
just
our
two
selves
?
”
he
asked
,
tense
.
“
Yes
—
what
more
do
you
want
?
If
anybody
likes
to
come
along
,
let
them
.
But
why
must
you
run
after
them
?
”
His
face
was
tense
and
unsatisfied
.
“
You
see
,
”
he
said
,
“
I
always
imagine
our
being
really
happy
with
some
few
other
people
—
a
little
freedom
with
people
.
”
She
pondered
for
a
moment
.
“
Yes
,
one
does
want
that
.
But
it
must
happen
.
You
can’t
do
anything
for
it
with
your
will
.
You
always
seem
to
think
you
can
force
the
flowers
to
come
out
.
People
must
love
us
because
they
love
us
—
you
can’t
make
them
.
”
“
I
know
,
”
he
said
.
“
But
must
one
take
no
steps
at
all
?
Must
one
just
go
as
if
one
were
alone
in
the
world
—
the
only
creature
in
the
world
?
”
“
You’ve
got
me
,
”
she
said
.
“
Why
should
you
need
others
?
Why
must
you
force
people
to
agree
with
you
?
Why
can’t
you
be
single
by
yourself
,
as
you
are
always
saying
?
You
try
to
bully
Gerald
—
as
you
tried
to
bully
Hermione
.
You
must
learn
to
be
alone
.
And
it’s
so
horrid
of
you
.
You’ve
got
me
.
And
yet
you
want
to
force
other
people
to
love
you
as
well
.
You
do
try
to
bully
them
to
love
you
.
And
even
then
,
you
don’t
want
their
love
.
”
His
face
was
full
of
real
perplexity
.
“
Don’t
I
?
”
he
said
.
“
It’s
the
problem
I
can’t
solve
.
I
know
I
want
a
perfect
and
complete
relationship
with
you
:
and
we’ve
nearly
got
it
—
we
really
have
.
But
beyond
that
.
Do
I
want
a
real
,
ultimate
relationship
with
Gerald
?
Do
I
want
a
final
almost
extra-human
relationship
with
him
—
a
relationship
in
the
ultimate
of
me
and
him
—
or
don’t
I
?
”
She
looked
at
him
for
a
long
time
,
with
strange
bright
eyes
,
but
she
did
not
answer
.
CHAPTER
XXVII
.
FLITTING
That
evening
Ursula
returned
home
very
bright-eyed
and
wondrous
—
which
irritated
her
people
.
Her
father
came
home
at
suppertime
,
tired
after
the
evening
class
,
and
the
long
journey
home
.
Gudrun
was
reading
,
the
mother
sat
in
silence
.
Suddenly
Ursula
said
to
the
company
at
large
,
in
a
bright
voice
,
“
Rupert
and
I
are
going
to
be
married
tomorrow
.
”
Her
father
turned
round
,
stiffly
.
“
You
what
?
”
he
said
.
“
Tomorrow
!
”
echoed
Gudrun
.
“
Indeed
!
”
said
the
mother
.
But
Ursula
only
smiled
wonderfully
,
and
did
not
reply
.
“
Married
tomorrow
!
”
cried
her
father
harshly
.
“
What
are
you
talking
about
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
Why
not
?
”
Those
two
words
,
from
her
,
always
drove
him
mad
.
“
Everything
is
all
right
—
we
shall
go
to
the
registrar’s
office
—
”
There
was
a
second’s
hush
in
the
room
,
after
Ursula’s
blithe
vagueness
.
“
Really
,
Ursula
!
”
said
Gudrun
.
“
Might
we
ask
why
there
has
been
all
this
secrecy
?
”
demanded
the
mother
,
rather
superbly
.
“
But
there
hasn’t
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
You
knew
.
”
“
Who
knew
?
”
now
cried
the
father
.
“
Who
knew
?
What
do
you
mean
by
your
‘you
knew’
?
”
He
was
in
one
of
his
stupid
rages
,
she
instantly
closed
against
him
.
“
Of
course
you
knew
,
”
she
said
coolly
.
“
You
knew
we
were
going
to
get
married
.
”
There
was
a
dangerous
pause
.
“
We
knew
you
were
going
to
get
married
,
did
we
?
Knew
!
Why
,
does
anybody
know
anything
about
you
,
you
shifty
bitch
!
”
“
Father
!
”
cried
Gudrun
,
flushing
deep
in
violent
remonstrance
.
Then
,
in
a
cold
,
but
gentle
voice
,
as
if
to
remind
her
sister
to
be
tractable
:
“
But
isn’t
it
a
fearfully
sudden
decision
,
Ursula
?
”
she
asked
.
“
No
,
not
really
,
”
replied
Ursula
,
with
the
same
maddening
cheerfulness
.
“
He’s
been
wanting
me
to
agree
for
weeks
—
he’s
had
the
licence
ready
.
Only
I
—
I
wasn’t
ready
in
myself
.
Now
I
am
ready
—
is
there
anything
to
be
disagreeable
about
?
”
“
Certainly
not
,
”
said
Gudrun
,
but
in
a
tone
of
cold
reproof
.
“
You
are
perfectly
free
to
do
as
you
like
.
”
“
‘Ready
in
yourself’
—
yourself
,
that’s
all
that
matters
,
isn’t
it
!
‘I
wasn’t
ready
in
myself
,
’
”
he
mimicked
her
phrase
offensively
.
“
You
and
yourself
,
you’re
of
some
importance
,
aren’t
you
?
”
She
drew
herself
up
and
set
back
her
throat
,
her
eyes
shining
yellow
and
dangerous
.
“
I
am
to
myself
,
”
she
said
,
wounded
and
mortified
.
“
I
know
I
am
not
to
anybody
else
.
You
only
wanted
to
bully
me
—
you
never
cared
for
my
happiness
.
”
He
was
leaning
forward
watching
her
,
his
face
intense
like
a
spark
.
“
Ursula
,
what
are
you
saying
?
Keep
your
tongue
still
,
”
cried
her
mother
.
Ursula
swung
round
,
and
the
lights
in
her
eyes
flashed
.
“
No
,
I
won’t
,
”
she
cried
.
“
I
won’t
hold
my
tongue
and
be
bullied
.
What
does
it
matter
which
day
I
get
married
—
what
does
it
matter
!
It
doesn’t
affect
anybody
but
myself
.
”
Her
father
was
tense
and
gathered
together
like
a
cat
about
to
spring
.
“
Doesn’t
it
?
”
he
cried
,
coming
nearer
to
her
.
She
shrank
away
.
“
No
,
how
can
it
?
”
she
replied
,
shrinking
but
stubborn
.
“
It
doesn’t
matter
to
me
then
,
what
you
do
—
what
becomes
of
you
?
”
he
cried
,
in
a
strange
voice
like
a
cry
.
The
mother
and
Gudrun
stood
back
as
if
hypnotised
.
“
No
,
”
stammered
Ursula
.
Her
father
was
very
near
to
her
.
“
You
only
want
to
—
”
She
knew
it
was
dangerous
,
and
she
stopped
.
He
was
gathered
together
,
every
muscle
ready
.
“
What
?
”
he
challenged
.
“
Bully
me
,
”
she
muttered
,
and
even
as
her
lips
were
moving
,
his
hand
had
caught
her
smack
at
the
side
of
the
face
and
she
was
sent
up
against
the
door
.
“
Father
!
”
cried
Gudrun
in
a
high
voice
,
“
it
is
impossible
!
”
He
stood
unmoving
.
Ursula
recovered
,
her
hand
was
on
the
door
handle
.
She
slowly
drew
herself
up
.
He
seemed
doubtful
now
.
“
It’s
true
,
”
she
declared
,
with
brilliant
tears
in
her
eyes
,
her
head
lifted
up
in
defiance
.
“
What
has
your
love
meant
,
what
did
it
ever
mean
?
—
bullying
,
and
denial
—
it
did
—
”
He
was
advancing
again
with
strange
,
tense
movements
,
and
clenched
fist
,
and
the
face
of
a
murderer
.
But
swift
as
lightning
she
had
flashed
out
of
the
door
,
and
they
heard
her
running
upstairs
.
He
stood
for
a
moment
looking
at
the
door
.
Then
,
like
a
defeated
animal
,
he
turned
and
went
back
to
his
seat
by
the
fire
.
Gudrun
was
very
white
.
Out
of
the
intense
silence
,
the
mother’s
voice
was
heard
saying
,
cold
and
angry
:
“
Well
,
you
shouldn’t
take
so
much
notice
of
her
.
”
Again
the
silence
fell
,
each
followed
a
separate
set
of
emotions
and
thoughts
.
Suddenly
the
door
opened
again
:
Ursula
,
dressed
in
hat
and
furs
,
with
a
small
valise
in
her
hand
:
“
Good-bye
!
”
she
said
,
in
her
maddening
,
bright
,
almost
mocking
tone
.
“
I’m
going
.
”
And
in
the
next
instant
the
door
was
closed
,
they
heard
the
outer
door
,
then
her
quick
steps
down
the
garden
path
,
then
the
gate
banged
,
and
her
light
footfall
was
gone
.
There
was
a
silence
like
death
in
the
house
.
Ursula
went
straight
to
the
station
,
hastening
heedlessly
on
winged
feet
.
There
was
no
train
,
she
must
walk
on
to
the
junction
.
As
she
went
through
the
darkness
,
she
began
to
cry
,
and
she
wept
bitterly
,
with
a
dumb
,
heart-broken
,
child’s
anguish
,
all
the
way
on
the
road
,
and
in
the
train
.
Time
passed
unheeded
and
unknown
,
she
did
not
know
where
she
was
,
nor
what
was
taking
place
.
Only
she
wept
from
fathomless
depths
of
hopeless
,
hopeless
grief
,
the
terrible
grief
of
a
child
,
that
knows
no
extenuation
.
Yet
her
voice
had
the
same
defensive
brightness
as
she
spoke
to
Birkin’s
landlady
at
the
door
.
“
Good
evening
!
Is
Mr
Birkin
in
?
Can
I
see
him
?
”
“
Yes
,
he’s
in
.
He’s
in
his
study
.
”
Ursula
slipped
past
the
woman
.
His
door
opened
.
He
had
heard
her
voice
.
“
Hello
!
”
he
exclaimed
in
surprise
,
seeing
her
standing
there
with
the
valise
in
her
hand
,
and
marks
of
tears
on
her
face
.
She
was
one
who
wept
without
showing
many
traces
,
like
a
child
.
“
Do
I
look
a
sight
?
”
she
said
,
shrinking
.
“
No
—
why
?
Come
in
,
”
he
took
the
bag
from
her
hand
and
they
went
into
the
study
.
There
—
immediately
,
her
lips
began
to
tremble
like
those
of
a
child
that
remembers
again
,
and
the
tears
came
rushing
up
.
“
What’s
the
matter
?
”
he
asked
,
taking
her
in
his
arms
.
She
sobbed
violently
on
his
shoulder
,
whilst
he
held
her
still
,
waiting
.
“
What’s
the
matter
?
”
he
said
again
,
when
she
was
quieter
.
But
she
only
pressed
her
face
further
into
his
shoulder
,
in
pain
,
like
a
child
that
cannot
tell
.
“
What
is
it
,
then
?
”
he
asked
.
Suddenly
she
broke
away
,
wiped
her
eyes
,
regained
her
composure
,
and
went
and
sat
in
a
chair
.
“
Father
hit
me
,
”
she
announced
,
sitting
bunched
up
,
rather
like
a
ruffled
bird
,
her
eyes
very
bright
.
“
What
for
?
”
he
said
.
She
looked
away
,
and
would
not
answer
.
There
was
a
pitiful
redness
about
her
sensitive
nostrils
,
and
her
quivering
lips
.
“
Why
?
”
he
repeated
,
in
his
strange
,
soft
,
penetrating
voice
.
She
looked
round
at
him
,
rather
defiantly
.
“
Because
I
said
I
was
going
to
be
married
tomorrow
,
and
he
bullied
me
.
”
“
Why
did
he
bully
you
?
”
Her
mouth
dropped
again
,
she
remembered
the
scene
once
more
,
the
tears
came
up
.
“
Because
I
said
he
didn’t
care
—
and
he
doesn’t
,
it’s
only
his
domineeringness
that’s
hurt
—
”
she
said
,
her
mouth
pulled
awry
by
her
weeping
,
all
the
time
she
spoke
,
so
that
he
almost
smiled
,
it
seemed
so
childish
.
Yet
it
was
not
childish
,
it
was
a
mortal
conflict
,
a
deep
wound
.
“
It
isn’t
quite
true
,
”
he
said
.
“
And
even
so
,
you
shouldn’t
say
it
.
”
“
It
is
true
—
it
is
true
,
”
she
wept
,
“
and
I
won’t
be
bullied
by
his
pretending
it’s
love
—
when
it
isn’t
—
he
doesn’t
care
,
how
can
he
—
no
,
he
can’t
—
”
He
sat
in
silence
.
She
moved
him
beyond
himself
.
“
Then
you
shouldn’t
rouse
him
,
if
he
can’t
,
”
replied
Birkin
quietly
.
“
And
I
have
loved
him
,
I
have
,
”
she
wept
.
“
I’ve
loved
him
always
,
and
he’s
always
done
this
to
me
,
he
has
—
”
“
It’s
been
a
love
of
opposition
,
then
,
”
he
said
.
“
Never
mind
—
it
will
be
all
right
.
It’s
nothing
desperate
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
she
wept
,
“
it
is
,
it
is
.
”
“
Why
?
”
“
I
shall
never
see
him
again
—
”
“
Not
immediately
.
Don’t
cry
,
you
had
to
break
with
him
,
it
had
to
be
—
don’t
cry
.
”
He
went
over
to
her
and
kissed
her
fine
,
fragile
hair
,
touching
her
wet
cheeks
gently
.
“
Don’t
cry
,
”
he
repeated
,
“
don’t
cry
any
more
.
”
He
held
her
head
close
against
him
,
very
close
and
quiet
.
At
last
she
was
still
.
Then
she
looked
up
,
her
eyes
wide
and
frightened
.
“
Don’t
you
want
me
?
”
she
asked
.
“
Want
you
?
”
His
darkened
,
steady
eyes
puzzled
her
and
did
not
give
her
play
.
“
Do
you
wish
I
hadn’t
come
?
”
she
asked
,
anxious
now
again
for
fear
she
might
be
out
of
place
.
“
No
,
”
he
said
.
“
I
wish
there
hadn’t
been
the
violence
—
so
much
ugliness
—
but
perhaps
it
was
inevitable
.
”
She
watched
him
in
silence
.
He
seemed
deadened
.
“
But
where
shall
I
stay
?
”
she
asked
,
feeling
humiliated
.
He
thought
for
a
moment
.
“
Here
,
with
me
,
”
he
said
.
“
We’re
married
as
much
today
as
we
shall
be
tomorrow
.
”
“
But
—
”
“
I’ll
tell
Mrs
Varley
,
”
he
said
.
“
Never
mind
now
.
”
He
sat
looking
at
her
.
She
could
feel
his
darkened
steady
eyes
looking
at
her
all
the
time
.
It
made
her
a
little
bit
frightened
.
She
pushed
her
hair
off
her
forehead
nervously
.
“
Do
I
look
ugly
?
”
she
said
.
And
she
blew
her
nose
again
.
A
small
smile
came
round
his
eyes
.
“
No
,
”
he
said
,
“
fortunately
.
”
And
he
went
across
to
her
,
and
gathered
her
like
a
belonging
in
his
arms
.
She
was
so
tenderly
beautiful
,
he
could
not
bear
to
see
her
,
he
could
only
bear
to
hide
her
against
himself
.
Now
;
washed
all
clean
by
her
tears
,
she
was
new
and
frail
like
a
flower
just
unfolded
,
a
flower
so
new
,
so
tender
,
so
made
perfect
by
inner
light
,
that
he
could
not
bear
to
look
at
her
,
he
must
hide
her
against
himself
,
cover
his
eyes
against
her
.
She
had
the
perfect
candour
of
creation
,
something
translucent
and
simple
,
like
a
radiant
,
shining
flower
that
moment
unfolded
in
primal
blessedness
.
She
was
so
new
,
so
wonder-clear
,
so
undimmed
.
And
he
was
so
old
,
so
steeped
in
heavy
memories
.
Her
soul
was
new
,
undefined
and
glimmering
with
the
unseen
.
And
his
soul
was
dark
and
gloomy
,
it
had
only
one
grain
of
living
hope
,
like
a
grain
of
mustard
seed
.
But
this
one
living
grain
in
him
matched
the
perfect
youth
in
her
.
“
I
love
you
,
”
he
whispered
as
he
kissed
her
,
and
trembled
with
pure
hope
,
like
a
man
who
is
born
again
to
a
wonderful
,
lively
hope
far
exceeding
the
bounds
of
death
.
She
could
not
know
how
much
it
meant
to
him
,
how
much
he
meant
by
the
few
words
.
Almost
childish
,
she
wanted
proof
,
and
statement
,
even
over-statement
,
for
everything
seemed
still
uncertain
,
unfixed
to
her
.
But
the
passion
of
gratitude
with
which
he
received
her
into
his
soul
,
the
extreme
,
unthinkable
gladness
of
knowing
himself
living
and
fit
to
unite
with
her
,
he
,
who
was
so
nearly
dead
,
who
was
so
near
to
being
gone
with
the
rest
of
his
race
down
the
slope
of
mechanical
death
,
could
never
be
understood
by
her
.
He
worshipped
her
as
age
worships
youth
,
he
gloried
in
her
,
because
,
in
his
one
grain
of
faith
,
he
was
young
as
she
,
he
was
her
proper
mate
.
This
marriage
with
her
was
his
resurrection
and
his
life
.
All
this
she
could
not
know
.
She
wanted
to
be
made
much
of
,
to
be
adored
.
There
were
infinite
distances
of
silence
between
them
.
How
could
he
tell
her
of
the
immanence
of
her
beauty
,
that
was
not
form
,
or
weight
,
or
colour
,
but
something
like
a
strange
,
golden
light
!
How
could
he
know
himself
what
her
beauty
lay
in
,
for
him
.
He
said
“
Your
nose
is
beautiful
,
your
chin
is
adorable
.
”
But
it
sounded
like
lies
,
and
she
was
disappointed
,
hurt
.
Even
when
he
said
,
whispering
with
truth
,
“
I
love
you
,
I
love
you
,
”
it
was
not
the
real
truth
.
It
was
something
beyond
love
,
such
a
gladness
of
having
surpassed
oneself
,
of
having
transcended
the
old
existence
.
How
could
he
say
‘I’
when
he
was
something
new
and
unknown
,
not
himself
at
all
?
This
I
,
this
old
formula
of
the
age
,
was
a
dead
letter
.
In
the
new
,
superfine
bliss
,
a
peace
superseding
knowledge
,
there
was
no
I
and
you
,
there
was
only
the
third
,
unrealised
wonder
,
the
wonder
of
existing
not
as
oneself
,
but
in
a
consummation
of
my
being
and
of
her
being
in
a
new
one
,
a
new
,
paradisal
unit
regained
from
the
duality
.
Nor
can
I
say
“
I
love
you
,
”
when
I
have
ceased
to
be
,
and
you
have
ceased
to
be
:
we
are
both
caught
up
and
transcended
into
a
new
oneness
where
everything
is
silent
,
because
there
is
nothing
to
answer
,
all
is
perfect
and
at
one
.
Speech
travels
between
the
separate
parts
.
But
in
the
perfect
One
there
is
perfect
silence
of
bliss
.
They
were
married
by
law
on
the
next
day
,
and
she
did
as
he
bade
her
,
she
wrote
to
her
father
and
mother
.
Her
mother
replied
,
not
her
father
.
She
did
not
go
back
to
school
.
She
stayed
with
Birkin
in
his
rooms
,
or
at
the
Mill
,
moving
with
him
as
he
moved
.
But
she
did
not
see
anybody
,
save
Gudrun
and
Gerald
.
She
was
all
strange
and
wondering
as
yet
,
but
relieved
as
by
dawn
.
Gerald
sat
talking
to
her
one
afternoon
in
the
warm
study
down
at
the
Mill
.
Rupert
had
not
yet
come
home
.
“
You
are
happy
?
”
Gerald
asked
her
,
with
a
smile
.
“
Very
happy
!
”
she
cried
,
shrinking
a
little
in
her
brightness
.
“
Yes
,
one
can
see
it
.
”
“
Can
one
?
”
cried
Ursula
in
surprise
.
He
looked
up
at
her
with
a
communicative
smile
.
“
Oh
yes
,
plainly
.
”
She
was
pleased
.
She
meditated
a
moment
.
“
And
can
you
see
that
Rupert
is
happy
as
well
?
”
He
lowered
his
eyelids
,
and
looked
aside
.
“
Oh
yes
,
”
he
said
.
“
Really
!
”
“
Oh
yes
.
”
He
was
very
quiet
,
as
if
it
were
something
not
to
be
talked
about
by
him
.
He
seemed
sad
.
She
was
very
sensitive
to
suggestion
.
She
asked
the
question
he
wanted
her
to
ask
.
“
Why
don’t
you
be
happy
as
well
?
”
she
said
.
“
You
could
be
just
the
same
.
”
He
paused
a
moment
.
“
With
Gudrun
?
”
he
asked
.
“
Yes
!
”
she
cried
,
her
eyes
glowing
.
But
there
was
a
strange
tension
,
an
emphasis
,
as
if
they
were
asserting
their
wishes
,
against
the
truth
.
“
You
think
Gudrun
would
have
me
,
and
we
should
be
happy
?
”
he
said
.
“
Yes
,
I’m
sure
!
”
she
cried
.
Her
eyes
were
round
with
delight
.
Yet
underneath
she
was
constrained
,
she
knew
her
own
insistence
.
“
Oh
,
I’m
so
glad
,
”
she
added
.
He
smiled
.
“
What
makes
you
glad
?
”
he
said
.
“
For
her
sake
,
”
she
replied
.
“
I’m
sure
you’d
—
you’re
the
right
man
for
her
.
”
“
You
are
?
”
he
said
.
“
And
do
you
think
she
would
agree
with
you
?
”
“
Oh
yes
!
”
she
exclaimed
hastily
.
Then
,
upon
reconsideration
,
very
uneasy
:
“
Though
Gudrun
isn’t
so
very
simple
,
is
she
?
One
doesn’t
know
her
in
five
minutes
,
does
one
?
She’s
not
like
me
in
that
.
”
She
laughed
at
him
with
her
strange
,
open
,
dazzled
face
.
“
You
think
she’s
not
much
like
you
?
”
Gerald
asked
.
She
knitted
her
brows
.
“
Oh
,
in
many
ways
she
is
.
But
I
never
know
what
she
will
do
when
anything
new
comes
.
”
“
You
don’t
?
”
said
Gerald
.
He
was
silent
for
some
moments
.
Then
he
moved
tentatively
.
“
I
was
going
to
ask
her
,
in
any
case
,
to
go
away
with
me
at
Christmas
,
”
he
said
,
in
a
very
small
,
cautious
voice
.
“
Go
away
with
you
?
For
a
time
,
you
mean
?
”
“
As
long
as
she
likes
,
”
he
said
,
with
a
deprecating
movement
.
They
were
both
silent
for
some
minutes
.
“
Of
course
,
”
said
Ursula
at
last
,
“
she
might
just
be
willing
to
rush
into
marriage
.
You
can
see
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
smiled
Gerald
.
“
I
can
see
.
But
in
case
she
won’t
—
do
you
think
she
would
go
abroad
with
me
for
a
few
days
—
or
for
a
fortnight
?
”
“
Oh
yes
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
I’d
ask
her
.
”
“
Do
you
think
we
might
all
go
together
?
”
“
All
of
us
?
”
Again
Ursula’s
face
lighted
up
.
“
It
would
be
rather
fun
,
don’t
you
think
?
”
“
Great
fun
,
”
he
said
.
“
And
then
you
could
see
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
What
?
”
“
How
things
went
.
I
think
it
is
best
to
take
the
honeymoon
before
the
wedding
—
don’t
you
?
”
She
was
pleased
with
this
mot
.
He
laughed
.
“
In
certain
cases
,
”
he
said
.
“
I’d
rather
it
were
so
in
my
own
case
.
”
“
Would
you
!
”
exclaimed
Ursula
.
Then
doubtingly
,
“
Yes
,
perhaps
you’re
right
.
One
should
please
oneself
.
”
Birkin
came
in
a
little
later
,
and
Ursula
told
him
what
had
been
said
.
“
Gudrun
!
”
exclaimed
Birkin
.
“
She’s
a
born
mistress
,
just
as
Gerald
is
a
born
lover
—
amant
en
titre
.
If
as
somebody
says
all
women
are
either
wives
or
mistresses
,
then
Gudrun
is
a
mistress
.
”
“
And
all
men
either
lovers
or
husbands
,
”
cried
Ursula
.
“
But
why
not
both
?
”
“
The
one
excludes
the
other
,
”
he
laughed
.
“
Then
I
want
a
lover
,
”
cried
Ursula
.
“
No
you
don’t
,
”
he
said
.
“
But
I
do
,
”
she
wailed
.
He
kissed
her
,
and
laughed
.
It
was
two
days
after
this
that
Ursula
was
to
go
to
fetch
her
things
from
the
house
in
Beldover
.
The
removal
had
taken
place
,
the
family
had
gone
.
Gudrun
had
rooms
in
Willey
Green
.
Ursula
had
not
seen
her
parents
since
her
marriage
.
She
wept
over
the
rupture
,
yet
what
was
the
good
of
making
it
up
!
Good
or
not
good
,
she
could
not
go
to
them
.
So
her
things
had
been
left
behind
and
she
and
Gudrun
were
to
walk
over
for
them
,
in
the
afternoon
.
It
was
a
wintry
afternoon
,
with
red
in
the
sky
,
when
they
arrived
at
the
house
.
The
windows
were
dark
and
blank
,
already
the
place
was
frightening
.
A
stark
,
void
entrance-hall
struck
a
chill
to
the
hearts
of
the
girls
.
“
I
don’t
believe
I
dare
have
come
in
alone
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
It
frightens
me
.
”
“
Ursula
!
”
cried
Gudrun
.
“
Isn’t
it
amazing
!
Can
you
believe
you
lived
in
this
place
and
never
felt
it
?
How
I
lived
here
a
day
without
dying
of
terror
,
I
cannot
conceive
!
”
They
looked
in
the
big
dining-room
.
It
was
a
good-sized
room
,
but
now
a
cell
would
have
been
lovelier
.
The
large
bay
windows
were
naked
,
the
floor
was
stripped
,
and
a
border
of
dark
polish
went
round
the
tract
of
pale
boarding
.
In
the
faded
wallpaper
were
dark
patches
where
furniture
had
stood
,
where
pictures
had
hung
.
The
sense
of
walls
,
dry
,
thin
,
flimsy-seeming
walls
,
and
a
flimsy
flooring
,
pale
with
its
artificial
black
edges
,
was
neutralising
to
the
mind
.
Everything
was
null
to
the
senses
,
there
was
enclosure
without
substance
,
for
the
walls
were
dry
and
papery
.
Where
were
they
standing
,
on
earth
,
or
suspended
in
some
cardboard
box
?
In
the
hearth
was
burnt
paper
,
and
scraps
of
half-burnt
paper
.
“
Imagine
that
we
passed
our
days
here
!
”
said
Ursula
.
“
I
know
,
”
cried
Gudrun
.
“
It
is
too
appalling
.
What
must
we
be
like
,
if
we
are
the
contents
of
this
!
”
“
Vile
!
”
said
Ursula
.
“
It
really
is
.
”
And
she
recognised
half-burnt
covers
of
“
Vogue
”
—
half-burnt
representations
of
women
in
gowns
—
lying
under
the
grate
.
They
went
to
the
drawing-room
.
Another
piece
of
shut-in
air
;
without
weight
or
substance
,
only
a
sense
of
intolerable
papery
imprisonment
in
nothingness
.
The
kitchen
did
look
more
substantial
,
because
of
the
red-tiled
floor
and
the
stove
,
but
it
was
cold
and
horrid
.
The
two
girls
tramped
hollowly
up
the
bare
stairs
.
Every
sound
re-echoed
under
their
hearts
.
They
tramped
down
the
bare
corridor
.
Against
the
wall
of
Ursula’s
bedroom
were
her
things
—
a
trunk
,
a
work-basket
,
some
books
,
loose
coats
,
a
hat-box
,
standing
desolate
in
the
universal
emptiness
of
the
dusk
.
“
A
cheerful
sight
,
aren’t
they
?
”
said
Ursula
,
looking
down
at
her
forsaken
possessions
.
“
Very
cheerful
,
”
said
Gudrun
.
The
two
girls
set
to
,
carrying
everything
down
to
the
front
door
.
Again
and
again
they
made
the
hollow
,
re-echoing
transit
.
The
whole
place
seemed
to
resound
about
them
with
a
noise
of
hollow
,
empty
futility
.
In
the
distance
the
empty
,
invisible
rooms
sent
forth
a
vibration
almost
of
obscenity
.
They
almost
fled
with
the
last
articles
,
into
the
out-of-door
.
But
it
was
cold
.
They
were
waiting
for
Birkin
,
who
was
coming
with
the
car
.
They
went
indoors
again
,
and
upstairs
to
their
parents’
front
bedroom
,
whose
windows
looked
down
on
the
road
,
and
across
the
country
at
the
black-barred
sunset
,
black
and
red
barred
,
without
light
.
They
sat
down
in
the
window-seat
,
to
wait
.
Both
girls
were
looking
over
the
room
.
It
was
void
,
with
a
meaninglessness
that
was
almost
dreadful
.
“
Really
,
”
said
Ursula
,
“
this
room
couldn’t
be
sacred
,
could
it
?
”
Gudrun
looked
over
it
with
slow
eyes
.
“
Impossible
,
”
she
replied
.
“
When
I
think
of
their
lives
—
father’s
and
mother’s
,
their
love
,
and
their
marriage
,
and
all
of
us
children
,
and
our
bringing-up
—
would
you
have
such
a
life
,
Prune
?
”
“
I
wouldn’t
,
Ursula
.
”
“
It
all
seems
so
nothing
—
their
two
lives
—
there’s
no
meaning
in
it
.
Really
,
if
they
had
not
met
,
and
not
married
,
and
not
lived
together
—
it
wouldn’t
have
mattered
,
would
it
?
”
“
Of
course
—
you
can’t
tell
,
”
said
Gudrun
.
“
No.
But
if
I
thought
my
life
was
going
to
be
like
it
—
Prune
,
”
she
caught
Gudrun’s
arm
,
“
I
should
run
.
”
Gudrun
was
silent
for
a
few
moments
.
“
As
a
matter
of
fact
,
one
cannot
contemplate
the
ordinary
life
—
one
cannot
contemplate
it
,
”
replied
Gudrun
.
“
With
you
,
Ursula
,
it
is
quite
different
.
You
will
be
out
of
it
all
,
with
Birkin
.
He’s
a
special
case
.
But
with
the
ordinary
man
,
who
has
his
life
fixed
in
one
place
,
marriage
is
just
impossible
.
There
may
be
,
and
there
are
,
thousands
of
women
who
want
it
,
and
could
conceive
of
nothing
else
.
But
the
very
thought
of
it
sends
me
mad
.
One
must
be
free
,
above
all
,
one
must
be
free
.
One
may
forfeit
everything
else
,
but
one
must
be
free
—
one
must
not
become
7
,
Pinchbeck
Street
—
or
Somerset
Drive
—
or
Shortlands
.
No
man
will
be
sufficient
to
make
that
good
—
no
man
!
To
marry
,
one
must
have
a
free
lance
,
or
nothing
,
a
comrade-in-arms
,
a
Glücksritter
.
A
man
with
a
position
in
the
social
world
—
well
,
it
is
just
impossible
,
impossible
!
”
“
What
a
lovely
word
—
a
Glücksritter
!
”
said
Ursula
.
“
So
much
nicer
than
a
soldier
of
fortune
.
”
“
Yes
,
isn’t
it
?
”
said
Gudrun
.
“
I’d
tilt
the
world
with
a
Glücksritter
.
But
a
home
,
an
establishment
!
Ursula
,
what
would
it
mean
?
—
think
!
”
“
I
know
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
We’ve
had
one
home
—
that’s
enough
for
me
.
”
“
Quite
enough
,
”
said
Gudrun
.
“
The
little
grey
home
in
the
west
,
”
quoted
Ursula
ironically
.
“
Doesn’t
it
sound
grey
,
too
,
”
said
Gudrun
grimly
.
They
were
interrupted
by
the
sound
of
the
car
.
There
was
Birkin
.
Ursula
was
surprised
that
she
felt
so
lit
up
,
that
she
became
suddenly
so
free
from
the
problems
of
grey
homes
in
the
west
.
They
heard
his
heels
click
on
the
hall
pavement
below
.
“
Hello
!
”
he
called
,
his
voice
echoing
alive
through
the
house
.
Ursula
smiled
to
herself
.
He
was
frightened
of
the
place
too
.
“
Hello
!
Here
we
are
,
”
she
called
downstairs
.
And
they
heard
him
quickly
running
up
.
“
This
is
a
ghostly
situation
,
”
he
said
.
“
These
houses
don’t
have
ghosts
—
they’ve
never
had
any
personality
,
and
only
a
place
with
personality
can
have
a
ghost
,
”
said
Gudrun
.
“
I
suppose
so
.
Are
you
both
weeping
over
the
past
?
”
“
We
are
,
”
said
Gudrun
,
grimly
.
Ursula
laughed
.
“
Not
weeping
that
it’s
gone
,
but
weeping
that
it
ever
was
,
”
she
said
.
“
Oh
,
”
he
replied
,
relieved
.
He
sat
down
for
a
moment
.
There
was
something
in
his
presence
,
Ursula
thought
,
lambent
and
alive
.
It
made
even
the
impertinent
structure
of
this
null
house
disappear
.
“
Gudrun
says
she
could
not
bear
to
be
married
and
put
into
a
house
,
”
said
Ursula
meaningful
—
they
knew
this
referred
to
Gerald
.
He
was
silent
for
some
moments
.
“
Well
,
”
he
said
,
“
if
you
know
beforehand
you
couldn’t
stand
it
,
you’re
safe
.
”
“
Quite
!
”
said
Gudrun
.
“
Why
does
every
woman
think
her
aim
in
life
is
to
have
a
hubby
and
a
little
grey
home
in
the
west
?
Why
is
this
the
goal
of
life
?
Why
should
it
be
?
”
said
Ursula
.
“
Il
faut
avoir
le
respect
de
ses
bêtises
,
”
said
Birkin
.
“
But
you
needn’t
have
the
respect
for
the
bêtise
before
you’ve
committed
it
,
”
laughed
Ursula
.
“
Ah
then
,
des
bêtises
du
papa
?
”
“
Et
de
la
maman
,
”
added
Gudrun
satirically
.
“
Et
des
voisins
,
”
said
Ursula
.
They
all
laughed
,
and
rose
.
It
was
getting
dark
.
They
carried
the
things
to
the
car
.
Gudrun
locked
the
door
of
the
empty
house
.
Birkin
had
lighted
the
lamps
of
the
automobile
.
It
all
seemed
very
happy
,
as
if
they
were
setting
out
.
“
Do
you
mind
stopping
at
Coulsons
.
I
have
to
leave
the
key
there
,
”
said
Gudrun
.
“
Right
,
”
said
Birkin
,
and
they
moved
off
.
They
stopped
in
the
main
street
.
The
shops
were
just
lighted
,
the
last
miners
were
passing
home
along
the
causeways
,
half-visible
shadows
in
their
grey
pit-dirt
,
moving
through
the
blue
air
.
But
their
feet
rang
harshly
in
manifold
sound
,
along
the
pavement
.
How
pleased
Gudrun
was
to
come
out
of
the
shop
,
and
enter
the
car
,
and
be
borne
swiftly
away
into
the
downhill
of
palpable
dusk
,
with
Ursula
and
Birkin
!
What
an
adventure
life
seemed
at
this
moment
!
How
deeply
,
how
suddenly
she
envied
Ursula
!
Life
for
her
was
so
quick
,
and
an
open
door
—
so
reckless
as
if
not
only
this
world
,
but
the
world
that
was
gone
and
the
world
to
come
were
nothing
to
her
.
Ah
,
if
she
could
be
just
like
that
,
it
would
be
perfect
.
For
always
,
except
in
her
moments
of
excitement
,
she
felt
a
want
within
herself
.
She
was
unsure
.
She
had
felt
that
now
,
at
last
,
in
Gerald’s
strong
and
violent
love
,
she
was
living
fully
and
finally
.
But
when
she
compared
herself
with
Ursula
,
already
her
soul
was
jealous
,
unsatisfied
.
She
was
not
satisfied
—
she
was
never
to
be
satisfied
.
What
was
she
short
of
now
?
It
was
marriage
—
it
was
the
wonderful
stability
of
marriage
.
She
did
want
it
,
let
her
say
what
she
might
.
She
had
been
lying
.
The
old
idea
of
marriage
was
right
even
now
—
marriage
and
the
home
.
Yet
her
mouth
gave
a
little
grimace
at
the
words
.
She
thought
of
Gerald
and
Shortlands
—
marriage
and
the
home
!
Ah
well
,
let
it
rest
!
He
meant
a
great
deal
to
her
—
but
—
!
Perhaps
it
was
not
in
her
to
marry
.
She
was
one
of
life’s
outcasts
,
one
of
the
drifting
lives
that
have
no
root
.
No
,
no
it
could
not
be
so
.
She
suddenly
conjured
up
a
rosy
room
,
with
herself
in
a
beautiful
gown
,
and
a
handsome
man
in
evening
dress
who
held
her
in
his
arms
in
the
firelight
,
and
kissed
her
.
This
picture
she
entitled
“
Home
.
”
It
would
have
done
for
the
Royal
Academy
.
“
Come
with
us
to
tea
—
do
,
”
said
Ursula
,
as
they
ran
nearer
to
the
cottage
of
Willey
Green
.
“
Thanks
awfully
—
but
I
must
go
in
—
”
said
Gudrun
.
She
wanted
very
much
to
go
on
with
Ursula
and
Birkin
.
That
seemed
like
life
indeed
to
her
.
Yet
a
certain
perversity
would
not
let
her
.
“
Do
come
—
yes
,
it
would
be
so
nice
,
”
pleaded
Ursula
.
“
I’m
awfully
sorry
—
I
should
love
to
—
but
I
can’t
—
really
—
”
She
descended
from
the
car
in
trembling
haste
.
“
Can’t
you
really
!
”
came
Ursula’s
regretful
voice
.
“
No
,
really
I
can’t
,
”
responded
Gudrun’s
pathetic
,
chagrined
words
out
of
the
dusk
.
“
All
right
,
are
you
?
”
called
Birkin
.
“
Quite
!
”
said
Gudrun
.
“
Good-night
!
”
“
Good-night
,
”
they
called
.
“
Come
whenever
you
like
,
we
shall
be
glad
,
”
called
Birkin
.
“
Thank
you
very
much
,
”
called
Gudrun
,
in
the
strange
,
twanging
voice
of
lonely
chagrin
that
was
very
puzzling
to
him
.
She
turned
away
to
her
cottage
gate
,
and
they
drove
on
.
But
immediately
she
stood
to
watch
them
,
as
the
car
ran
vague
into
the
distance
.
And
as
she
went
up
the
path
to
her
strange
house
,
her
heart
was
full
of
incomprehensible
bitterness
.
In
her
parlour
was
a
long-case
clock
,
and
inserted
into
its
dial
was
a
ruddy
,
round
,
slant-eyed
,
joyous-painted
face
,
that
wagged
over
with
the
most
ridiculous
ogle
when
the
clock
ticked
,
and
back
again
with
the
same
absurd
glad-eye
at
the
next
tick
.
All
the
time
the
absurd
smooth
,
brown-ruddy
face
gave
her
an
obtrusive
“
glad-eye
.
”
She
stood
for
minutes
,
watching
it
,
till
a
sort
of
maddened
disgust
overcame
her
,
and
she
laughed
at
herself
hollowly
.
And
still
it
rocked
,
and
gave
her
the
glad-eye
from
one
side
,
then
from
the
other
,
from
one
side
,
then
from
the
other
.
Ah
,
how
unhappy
she
was
!
In
the
midst
of
her
most
active
happiness
,
ah
,
how
unhappy
she
was
!
She
glanced
at
the
table
.
Gooseberry
jam
,
and
the
same
home-made
cake
with
too
much
soda
in
it
!
Still
,
gooseberry
jam
was
good
,
and
one
so
rarely
got
it
.
All
the
evening
she
wanted
to
go
to
the
Mill
.
But
she
coldly
refused
to
allow
herself
.
She
went
the
next
afternoon
instead
.
She
was
happy
to
find
Ursula
alone
.
It
was
a
lovely
,
intimate
secluded
atmosphere
.
They
talked
endlessly
and
delightedly
.
“
Aren’t
you
fearfully
happy
here
?
”
said
Gudrun
to
her
sister
glancing
at
her
own
bright
eyes
in
the
mirror
.
She
always
envied
,
almost
with
resentment
,
the
strange
positive
fullness
that
subsisted
in
the
atmosphere
around
Ursula
and
Birkin
.
How
really
beautifully
this
room
is
done
,
”
she
said
aloud
.
“
This
hard
plaited
matting
—
what
a
lovely
colour
it
is
,
the
colour
of
cool
light
!
”
And
it
seemed
to
her
perfect
.
“
Ursula
,
”
she
said
at
length
,
in
a
voice
of
question
and
detachment
,
“
did
you
know
that
Gerald
Crich
had
suggested
our
going
away
all
together
at
Christmas
?
”
“
Yes
,
he’s
spoken
to
Rupert
.
”
A
deep
flush
dyed
Gudrun’s
cheek
.
She
was
silent
a
moment
,
as
if
taken
aback
,
and
not
knowing
what
to
say
.
“
But
don’t
you
think
,
”
she
said
at
last
,
“
it
is
amazingly
cool
!
”
Ursula
laughed
.
“
I
like
him
for
it
,
”
she
said
.
Gudrun
was
silent
.
It
was
evident
that
,
whilst
she
was
almost
mortified
by
Gerald’s
taking
the
liberty
of
making
such
a
suggestion
to
Birkin
,
yet
the
idea
itself
attracted
her
strongly
.
“
There’s
a
rather
lovely
simplicity
about
Gerald
,
I
think
,
”
said
Ursula
,
“
so
defiant
,
somehow
!
Oh
,
I
think
he’s
very
lovable
.
”
Gudrun
did
not
reply
for
some
moments
.
She
had
still
to
get
over
the
feeling
of
insult
at
the
liberty
taken
with
her
freedom
.
“
What
did
Rupert
say
—
do
you
know
?
”
she
asked
.
“
He
said
it
would
be
most
awfully
jolly
,
”
said
Ursula
.
Again
Gudrun
looked
down
,
and
was
silent
.
“
Don’t
you
think
it
would
?
”
said
Ursula
,
tentatively
.
She
was
never
quite
sure
how
many
defences
Gudrun
was
having
round
herself
.
Gudrun
raised
her
face
with
difficulty
and
held
it
averted
.
“
I
think
it
might
be
awfully
jolly
,
as
you
say
,
”
she
replied
.
“
But
don’t
you
think
it
was
an
unpardonable
liberty
to
take
—
to
talk
of
such
things
to
Rupert
—
who
after
all
—
you
see
what
I
mean
,
Ursula
—
they
might
have
been
two
men
arranging
an
outing
with
some
little
type
they’d
picked
up
.
Oh
,
I
think
it’s
unforgivable
,
quite
!
”
She
used
the
French
word
“
type
.
”
Her
eyes
flashed
,
her
soft
face
was
flushed
and
sullen
.
Ursula
looked
on
,
rather
frightened
,
frightened
most
of
all
because
she
thought
Gudrun
seemed
rather
common
,
really
like
a
little
type
.
But
she
had
not
the
courage
quite
to
think
this
—
not
right
out
.
“
Oh
no
,
”
she
cried
,
stammering
.
“
Oh
no
—
not
at
all
like
that
—
oh
no
!
No
,
I
think
it’s
rather
beautiful
,
the
friendship
between
Rupert
and
Gerald
.
They
just
are
simple
—
they
say
anything
to
each
other
,
like
brothers
.
”
Gudrun
flushed
deeper
.
She
could
not
bear
it
that
Gerald
gave
her
away
—
even
to
Birkin
.
“
But
do
you
think
even
brothers
have
any
right
to
exchange
confidences
of
that
sort
?
”
she
asked
,
with
deep
anger
.
“
Oh
yes
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
There’s
never
anything
said
that
isn’t
perfectly
straightforward
.
No
,
the
thing
that’s
amazed
me
most
in
Gerald
—
how
perfectly
simple
and
direct
he
can
be
!
And
you
know
,
it
takes
rather
a
big
man
.
Most
of
them
must
be
indirect
,
they
are
such
cowards
.
”
But
Gudrun
was
still
silent
with
anger
.
She
wanted
the
absolute
secrecy
kept
,
with
regard
to
her
movements
.
“
Won’t
you
go
?
”
said
Ursula
.
“
Do
,
we
might
all
be
so
happy
!
There
is
something
I
love
about
Gerald
—
he’s
much
more
lovable
than
I
thought
him
.
He’s
free
,
Gudrun
,
he
really
is
.
”
Gudrun’s
mouth
was
still
closed
,
sullen
and
ugly
.
She
opened
it
at
length
.
“
Do
you
know
where
he
proposes
to
go
?
”
she
asked
.
“
Yes
—
to
the
Tyrol
,
where
he
used
to
go
when
he
was
in
Germany
—
a
lovely
place
where
students
go
,
small
and
rough
and
lovely
,
for
winter
sport
!
”
Through
Gudrun’s
mind
went
the
angry
thought
—
“
they
know
everything
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
she
said
aloud
,
“
about
forty
kilometres
from
Innsbruck
,
isn’t
it
?
”
“
I
don’t
know
exactly
where
—
but
it
would
be
lovely
,
don’t
you
think
,
high
in
the
perfect
snow
—
?
”
“
Very
lovely
!
”
said
Gudrun
,
sarcastically
.
Ursula
was
put
out
.
“
Of
course
,
”
she
said
,
“
I
think
Gerald
spoke
to
Rupert
so
that
it
shouldn’t
seem
like
an
outing
with
a
type
—
”
“
I
know
,
of
course
,
”
said
Gudrun
,
“
that
he
quite
commonly
does
take
up
with
that
sort
.
”
“
Does
he
!
”
said
Ursula
.
“
Why
how
do
you
know
?
”
“
I
know
of
a
model
in
Chelsea
,
”
said
Gudrun
coldly
.
Now
Ursula
was
silent
.
“
Well
,
”
she
said
at
last
,
with
a
doubtful
laugh
,
“
I
hope
he
has
a
good
time
with
her
.
”
At
which
Gudrun
looked
more
glum
.
CHAPTER
XXVIII
.
GUDRUN
IN
THE
POMPADOUR
Christmas
drew
near
,
all
four
prepared
for
flight
.
Birkin
and
Ursula
were
busy
packing
their
few
personal
things
,
making
them
ready
to
be
sent
off
,
to
whatever
country
and
whatever
place
they
might
choose
at
last
.
Gudrun
was
very
much
excited
.
She
loved
to
be
on
the
wing
.
She
and
Gerald
,
being
ready
first
,
set
off
via
London
and
Paris
to
Innsbruck
,
where
they
would
meet
Ursula
and
Birkin
.
In
London
they
stayed
one
night
.
They
went
to
the
music-hall
,
and
afterwards
to
the
Pompadour
Café
.
Gudrun
hated
the
Café
,
yet
she
always
went
back
to
it
,
as
did
most
of
the
artists
of
her
acquaintance
.
She
loathed
its
atmosphere
of
petty
vice
and
petty
jealousy
and
petty
art
.
Yet
she
always
called
in
again
,
when
she
was
in
town
.
It
was
as
if
she
had
to
return
to
this
small
,
slow
,
central
whirlpool
of
disintegration
and
dissolution
:
just
give
it
a
look
.
She
sat
with
Gerald
drinking
some
sweetish
liqueur
,
and
staring
with
black
,
sullen
looks
at
the
various
groups
of
people
at
the
tables
.
She
would
greet
nobody
,
but
young
men
nodded
to
her
frequently
,
with
a
kind
of
sneering
familiarity
.
She
cut
them
all
.
And
it
gave
her
pleasure
to
sit
there
,
cheeks
flushed
,
eyes
black
and
sullen
,
seeing
them
all
objectively
,
as
put
away
from
her
,
like
creatures
in
some
menagerie
of
apish
degraded
souls
.
God
,
what
a
foul
crew
they
were
!
Her
blood
beat
black
and
thick
in
her
veins
with
rage
and
loathing
.
Yet
she
must
sit
and
watch
,
watch
.
One
or
two
people
came
to
speak
to
her
.
From
every
side
of
the
Café
,
eyes
turned
half
furtively
,
half
jeeringly
at
her
,
men
looking
over
their
shoulders
,
women
under
their
hats
.
The
old
crowd
was
there
,
Carlyon
in
his
corner
with
his
pupils
and
his
girl
,
Halliday
and
Libidnikov
and
the
Pussum
—
they
were
all
there
.
Gudrun
watched
Gerald
.
She
watched
his
eyes
linger
a
moment
on
Halliday
,
on
Halliday’s
party
.
These
last
were
on
the
look-out
—
they
nodded
to
him
,
he
nodded
again
.
They
giggled
and
whispered
among
themselves
.
Gerald
watched
them
with
the
steady
twinkle
in
his
eyes
.
They
were
urging
the
Pussum
to
something
.
She
at
last
rose
.
She
was
wearing
a
curious
dress
of
dark
silk
splashed
and
spattered
with
different
colours
,
a
curious
motley
effect
.
She
was
thinner
,
her
eyes
were
perhaps
hotter
,
more
disintegrated
.
Otherwise
she
was
just
the
same
.
Gerald
watched
her
with
the
same
steady
twinkle
in
his
eyes
as
she
came
across
.
She
held
out
her
thin
brown
hand
to
him
.
“
How
are
you
?
”
she
said
.
He
shook
hands
with
her
,
but
remained
seated
,
and
let
her
stand
near
him
,
against
the
table
.
She
nodded
blackly
to
Gudrun
,
whom
she
did
not
know
to
speak
to
,
but
well
enough
by
sight
and
reputation
.
“
I
am
very
well
,
”
said
Gerald
.
“
And
you
?
”
“
Oh
I’m
all
wight
.
What
about
Wupert
?
”
“
Rupert
?
He’s
very
well
,
too
.
”
“
Yes
,
I
don’t
mean
that
.
What
about
him
being
married
?
”
“
Oh
—
yes
,
he
is
married
.
”
The
Pussum’s
eyes
had
a
hot
flash
.
“
Oh
,
he’s
weally
bwought
it
off
then
,
has
he
?
When
was
he
married
?
”
“
A
week
or
two
ago
.
”
“
Weally
!
He’s
never
written
.
”
“
No.
”
“
No.
Don’t
you
think
it’s
too
bad
?
”
This
last
was
in
a
tone
of
challenge
.
The
Pussum
let
it
be
known
by
her
tone
,
that
she
was
aware
of
Gudrun’s
listening
.
“
I
suppose
he
didn’t
feel
like
it
,
”
replied
Gerald
.
“
But
why
didn’t
he
?
”
pursued
the
Pussum
.
This
was
received
in
silence
.
There
was
an
ugly
,
mocking
persistence
in
the
small
,
beautiful
figure
of
the
short-haired
girl
,
as
she
stood
near
Gerald
.
“
Are
you
staying
in
town
long
?
”
she
asked
.
“
Tonight
only
.
”
“
Oh
,
only
tonight
.
Are
you
coming
over
to
speak
to
Julius
?
”
“
Not
tonight
.
”
“
Oh
very
well
.
I’ll
tell
him
then
.
”
Then
came
her
touch
of
diablerie
.
“
You’re
looking
awf’lly
fit
.
”
“
Yes
—
I
feel
it
.
”
Gerald
was
quite
calm
and
easy
,
a
spark
of
satiric
amusement
in
his
eye
.
“
Are
you
having
a
good
time
?
”
This
was
a
direct
blow
for
Gudrun
,
spoken
in
a
level
,
toneless
voice
of
callous
ease
.
“
Yes
,
”
he
replied
,
quite
colourlessly
.
“
I’m
awf’lly
sorry
you
aren’t
coming
round
to
the
flat
.
You
aren’t
very
faithful
to
your
fwiends
.
”
“
Not
very
,
”
he
said
.
She
nodded
them
both
“
Good-night’
,
and
went
back
slowly
to
her
own
set
.
Gudrun
watched
her
curious
walk
,
stiff
and
jerking
at
the
loins
.
They
heard
her
level
,
toneless
voice
distinctly
.
“
He
won’t
come
over
;
—
he
is
otherwise
engaged
,
”
it
said
.
There
was
more
laughter
and
lowered
voices
and
mockery
at
the
table
.
“
Is
she
a
friend
of
yours
?
”
said
Gudrun
,
looking
calmly
at
Gerald
.
“
I’ve
stayed
at
Halliday’s
flat
with
Birkin
,
”
he
said
,
meeting
her
slow
,
calm
eyes
.
And
she
knew
that
the
Pussum
was
one
of
his
mistresses
—
and
he
knew
she
knew
.
She
looked
round
,
and
called
for
the
waiter
.
She
wanted
an
iced
cocktail
,
of
all
things
.
This
amused
Gerald
—
he
wondered
what
was
up
.
The
Halliday
party
was
tipsy
,
and
malicious
.
They
were
talking
out
loudly
about
Birkin
,
ridiculing
him
on
every
point
,
particularly
on
his
marriage
.
“
Oh
,
don’t
make
me
think
of
Birkin
,
”
Halliday
was
squealing
.
“
He
makes
me
perfectly
sick
.
He
is
as
bad
as
Jesus
.
‘Lord
,
what
must
I
do
to
be
saved
!
’
”
He
giggled
to
himself
tipsily
.
“
Do
you
remember
,
”
came
the
quick
voice
of
the
Russian
,
“
the
letters
he
used
to
send
.
‘Desire
is
holy
—
’
”
“
Oh
yes
!
”
cried
Halliday
.
“
Oh
,
how
perfectly
splendid
.
Why
,
I’ve
got
one
in
my
pocket
.
I’m
sure
I
have
.
”
He
took
out
various
papers
from
his
pocket
book
.
“
I’m
sure
I’ve
—
hic
!
Oh
dear
!
—
got
one
.
”
Gerald
and
Gudrun
were
watching
absorbedly
.
“
Oh
yes
,
how
perfectly
—
hic
!
—
splendid
!
Don’t
make
me
laugh
,
Pussum
,
it
gives
me
the
hiccup
.
Hic
!
—
”
They
all
giggled
.
“
What
did
he
say
in
that
one
?
”
the
Pussum
asked
,
leaning
forward
,
her
dark
,
soft
hair
falling
and
swinging
against
her
face
.
There
was
something
curiously
indecent
,
obscene
,
about
her
small
,
longish
,
dark
skull
,
particularly
when
the
ears
showed
.
“
Wait
—
oh
do
wait
!
No-o
,
I
won’t
give
it
to
you
,
I’ll
read
it
aloud
.
I’ll
read
you
the
choice
bits
,
—
hic
!
Oh
dear
!
Do
you
think
if
I
drink
water
it
would
take
off
this
hiccup
?
Hic
!
Oh
,
I
feel
perfectly
helpless
.
”
“
Isn’t
that
the
letter
about
uniting
the
dark
and
the
light
—
and
the
Flux
of
Corruption
?
”
asked
Maxim
,
in
his
precise
,
quick
voice
.
“
I
believe
so
,
”
said
the
Pussum
.
“
Oh
is
it
?
I’d
forgotten
—
hic
!
—
it
was
that
one
,
”
Halliday
said
,
opening
the
letter
.
“
Hic
!
Oh
yes
.
How
perfectly
splendid
!
This
is
one
of
the
best
.
‘There
is
a
phase
in
every
race
—
’
”
he
read
in
the
sing-song
,
slow
,
distinct
voice
of
a
clergyman
reading
the
Scriptures
,
“
‘When
the
desire
for
destruction
overcomes
every
other
desire
.
In
the
individual
,
this
desire
is
ultimately
a
desire
for
destruction
in
the
self’
—
hic
!
—
”
he
paused
and
looked
up
.
“
I
hope
he’s
going
ahead
with
the
destruction
of
himself
,
”
said
the
quick
voice
of
the
Russian
.
Halliday
giggled
,
and
lolled
his
head
back
,
vaguely
.
“
There’s
not
much
to
destroy
in
him
,
”
said
the
Pussum
.
“
He’s
so
thin
already
,
there’s
only
a
fag-end
to
start
on
.
”
“
Oh
,
isn’t
it
beautiful
!
I
love
reading
it
!
I
believe
it
has
cured
my
hiccup
!
”
squealed
Halliday
.
“
Do
let
me
go
on
.
‘It
is
a
desire
for
the
reduction
process
in
oneself
,
a
reducing
back
to
the
origin
,
a
return
along
the
Flux
of
Corruption
,
to
the
original
rudimentary
conditions
of
being
—
!
’
Oh
,
but
I
do
think
it
is
wonderful
.
It
almost
supersedes
the
Bible
—
”
“
Yes
—
Flux
of
Corruption
,
”
said
the
Russian
,
“
I
remember
that
phrase
.
”
“
Oh
,
he
was
always
talking
about
Corruption
,
”
said
the
Pussum
.
“
He
must
be
corrupt
himself
,
to
have
it
so
much
on
his
mind
.
”
“
Exactly
!
”
said
the
Russian
.
“
Do
let
me
go
on
!
Oh
,
this
is
a
perfectly
wonderful
piece
!
But
do
listen
to
this
.
‘And
in
the
great
retrogression
,
the
reducing
back
of
the
created
body
of
life
,
we
get
knowledge
,
and
beyond
knowledge
,
the
phosphorescent
ecstasy
of
acute
sensation.’
Oh
,
I
do
think
these
phrases
are
too
absurdly
wonderful
.
Oh
but
don’t
you
think
they
are
—
they’re
nearly
as
good
as
Jesus
.
‘And
if
,
Julius
,
you
want
this
ecstasy
of
reduction
with
the
Pussum
,
you
must
go
on
till
it
is
fulfilled
.
But
surely
there
is
in
you
also
,
somewhere
,
the
living
desire
for
positive
creation
,
relationships
in
ultimate
faith
,
when
all
this
process
of
active
corruption
,
with
all
its
flowers
of
mud
,
is
transcended
,
and
more
or
less
finished
—
’
I
do
wonder
what
the
flowers
of
mud
are
.
Pussum
,
you
are
a
flower
of
mud
.
”
“
Thank
you
—
and
what
are
you
?
”
“
Oh
,
I’m
another
,
surely
,
according
to
this
letter
!
We’re
all
flowers
of
mud
—
fleurs
—
hic
!
du
mal
!
It’s
perfectly
wonderful
,
Birkin
harrowing
Hell
—
harrowing
the
Pompadour
—
Hic
!
”
“
Go
on
—
go
on
,
”
said
Maxim
.
“
What
comes
next
?
It’s
really
very
interesting
.
”
“
I
think
it’s
awful
cheek
to
write
like
that
,
”
said
the
Pussum
.
“
Yes
—
yes
,
so
do
I
,
”
said
the
Russian
.
“
He
is
a
megalomaniac
,
of
course
,
it
is
a
form
of
religious
mania
.
He
thinks
he
is
the
Saviour
of
man
—
go
on
reading
.
”
“
Surely
,
”
Halliday
intoned
,
“
‘surely
goodness
and
mercy
hath
followed
me
all
the
days
of
