,"
said
the
Disagreeable
Man
kindly
,
"
and
where
is
your
genius
now
?
"
"
She
went
away
,
she
and
hers
,
"
Bernardine
said
"
And
that
was
the
end
of
that
chapter
!
"
"
Poor
little
child
,
"
he
said
,
half
to
himself
.
"
Do
n't
I
too
know
something
about
the
ending
of
such
a
chapter
?
"
But
Bernardine
did
not
hear
him
;
she
was
thinking
of
her
friend
.
She
was
thinking
,
as
we
all
think
,
that
those
to
whom
in
our
suffering
we
turn
for
sympathy
,
become
hallowed
beings
.
Saints
they
may
not
be
;
but
for
want
of
a
better
name
,
saints
they
are
to
us
,
gracious
and
lovely
presences
.
The
great
time
Eternity
,
the
great
space
Death
,
could
not
rob
them
of
their
saintship
;
for
they
were
canonized
by
our
bitterest
tears
.
She
was
roused
from
her
reverie
by
the
Disagreeable
Man
,
who
got
up
,
and
pushed
his
chair
noisily
under
the
table
.
"
Will
you
come
and
help
me
to
develop
some
photographs
?
"
he
asked
cheerily
.
"
You
do
not
need
to
have
a
straight
eye
for
that
!
"
Then
as
they
went
along
together
,
he
said
:
"
When
we
come
to
think
about
it
seriously
,
it
is
rather
absurd
for
us
to
expect
to
have
uninterrupted
stretches
of
happiness
.
Happiness
falls
to
our
share
in
separate
detached
bits
;
and
those
of
us
who
are
wise
,
content
ourselves
with
these
broken
fragments
.
"
"
But
who
is
wise
?
"
Bernardine
asked
.
"
Why
,
we
all
expect
to
be
happy
.
No
one
told
us
that
we
were
to
be
happy
.
Still
,
though
no
one
told
us
,
it
is
the
true
instinct
of
human
nature
.
"
"
It
would
be
interesting
to
know
at
what
particular
period
of
evolution
into
our
present
glorious
types
we
felt
that
instinct
for
the
first
time
,
"
he
said
.
"
The
sunshine
must
have
had
something
to
do
with
it
.
You
see
how
a
dog
throws
itself
down
in
the
sunshine
;
the
most
wretched
cur
heaves
a
sigh
of
content
then
;
the
sulkiest
cat
begins
to
purr
.
"
They
were
standing
outside
the
room
set
apart
for
the
photograph-maniacs
of
the
Kurhaus
.
"
I
cannot
go
into
that
horrid
little
hole
,
"
Bernardine
said
.
"
And
besides
,
I
have
promised
to
play
chess
with
the
Swedish
professor
.
And
after
that
I
am
going
to
photograph
Marie
.
I
promised
Wäli
I
would
.
"
The
Disagreeable
Man
smiled
grimly
.
"
I
hope
he
will
be
able
to
recognize
her
!
"
he
said
.
Then
,
feeling
that
he
was
on
dangerous
ground
,
he
added
quickly
:
"
If
you
want
any
more
plates
,
I
can
oblige
you
.
"
On
her
way
to
her
room
she
stopped
to
talk
to
pretty
Fräulein
Müller
,
who
was
in
high
spirits
,
having
had
an
excellent
report
from
the
Doctor
.
Fräulein
Müller
always
insisted
on
talking
English
with
Bernardine
;
and
as
her
knowledge
of
it
was
limited
,
a
certain
amount
of
imagination
was
necessary
to
enable
her
to
be
understood
.
"
Ah
,
Miss
Holme
,
"
she
said
,
"
I
have
deceived
an
exquisite
report
from
the
Doctor
.
"
"
You
are
looking
ever
so
well
,
"
Bernardine
said
.
"
And
the
love-making
with
the
Spanish
gentleman
goes
on
well
,
too
?
"
"
Ach
!
"
was
the
merry
answer
.
"
That
is
your
inventory
!
I
am
quite
indolent
to
him
!
"
At
that
moment
the
Spanish
gentleman
came
out
of
the
Kurhaus
flower-
shop
,
with
a
beautiful
bouquet
of
flowers
.
"
Mademoiselle
,
"
he
said
,
handing
them
to
Fräulein
Müller
,
and
at
the
same
time
putting
his
hand
to
his
heart
.
He
had
not
noticed
Bernardine
at
first
,
and
when
he
saw
her
,
he
became
somewhat
confused
.
She
smiled
at
them
both
,
and
escaped
into
the
flower-shop
,
which
was
situated
in
one
of
the
covered
passages
connecting
the
mother-building
with
the
dependencies
.
Herr
Schmidt
,
the
gardener
,
was
making
a
wreath
.
His
favourite
companion
,
a
saffron
cat
,
was
playing
with
the
wire
.
Schmidt
was
rather
an
ill-tempered
man
,
but
he
liked
Bernardine
.
"
I
have
put
these
violets
aside
for
you
,
Fräulein
,
"
he
said
,
in
his
sulky
way
.
"
I
meant
to
have
sent
them
to
your
room
,
but
have
been
interrupted
in
my
work
.
"
"
You
spoil
me
with
your
gifts
,
"
she
said
.
"
You
spoil
my
cat
with
the
milk
,
"
he
replied
,
looking
up
from
his
work
.
"
That
is
a
beautiful
wreath
you
are
making
,
Herr
Schmidt
,
"
she
said
.
"
Who
has
died
?
Any
one
in
the
Kurhaus
?
"
"
No
,
Fräulein
.
But
I
ought
to
keep
my
door
locked
when
I
make
these
wreaths
.
People
get
frightened
,
and
think
they
,
too
,
are
going
to
die
.
Shall
you
be
frightened
,
I
wonder
?
"
"
No
,
I
believe
not
,
"
she
answered
as
she
took
possession
of
her
violets
,
and
stroked
the
saffron
cat
.
"
But
I
am
glad
no
one
has
died
here
.
"
"
It
is
for
a
young
,
beautiful
lady
,
"
he
said
.
"
She
was
in
the
Kurhaus
two
years
ago
.
I
liked
her
.
So
I
am
taking
extra
pains
.
She
did
not
care
for
the
flowers
to
be
wired
.
So
I
am
trying
my
best
without
the
wire
.
But
it
is
difficult
.
"
She
left
him
to
his
work
,
and
went
away
,
thinking
.
All
the
time
she
had
now
been
in
Petershof
had
not
sufficed
to
make
her
indifferent
to
the
sadness
of
her
surroundings
.
In
vain
the
Disagreeable
Man
's
preachings
,
in
vain
her
own
reasonings
with
herself
.
These
people
here
who
suffered
,
and
faded
,
and
passed
away
,
who
were
they
to
her
?
Why
should
the
faintest
shadow
steal
across
her
soul
on
account
of
them
?
There
was
no
reason
.
And
still
she
felt
for
them
all
,
she
who
in
the
old
days
would
have
thought
it
waste
of
time
to
spare
a
moment
's
reflection
on
anything
so
unimportant
as
the
sufferings
of
an
individual
human
being
.
And
the
bridge
between
her
former
and
her
present
self
was
her
own
illness
.
What
dull-minded
sheep
we
must
all
be
,
how
lacking
in
the
very
elements
of
imagination
,
since
we
are
only
able
to
learn
by
personal
experience
of
grief
and
suffering
,
something
about
the
suffering
and
grief
of
others
!
Yea
,
how
the
dogs
must
wonder
at
us
:
those
dogs
who
know
when
we
are
in
pain
or
trouble
,
and
nestle
nearer
to
us
.
So
Bernardine
reached
her
own
door
.
She
heard
her
name
called
,
and
,
turning
round
,
saw
Mrs.
Reffold
.
There
was
a
scared
look
on
the
beautiful
face
.
"
Miss
Holme
,
"
she
said
,
"
I
have
been
sent
for
—
I
dare
n't
go
to
him
alone
—
I
want
you
—
he
is
worse
.
I
am
"
.
.
.
.
Bernardine
took
her
hand
,
and
the
two
women
hurried
away
in
silence
.
CHAPTER
XVI
.
WHEN
THE
SOUL
KNOWS
ITS
OWN
REMORSE
.
BERNARDINE
had
seen
Mr.
Reffold
the
previous
day
.
She
had
sat
by
his
side
and
held
his
hand
.
He
had
smiled
at
her
many
times
,
but
he
only
spoke
once
.
"
Little
Brick
,
"
he
whispered
—
for
his
voice
had
become
nothing
but
a
whisper
.
"
I
remember
all
you
told
me
.
God
bless
you
.
But
what
a
long
time
it
does
take
to
die
.
"
But
that
was
yesterday
.
The
lane
had
come
to
an
ending
at
last
,
and
Mr.
Reffold
lay
dead
.
They
bore
him
to
the
little
mortuary
chapel
.
And
Bernardine
stayed
with
Mrs.
Reffold
,
who
seemed
afraid
to
be
alone
.
She
clung
to
Bernardine
's
hand
.
"
No
,
no
,
"
she
said
excitedly
,
"
you
must
not
go
!
I
ca
n't
bear
to
be
alone
:
you
must
stay
with
me
!
"
She
expressed
no
sorrow
,
no
regret
.
She
did
not
even
speak
his
name
.
She
just
sat
nursing
her
beautiful
face
.
Once
or
twice
Bernardine
tried
to
slip
away
.
This
waiting
about
was
a
strain
on
her
,
and
she
felt
that
she
was
doing
no
good
.
But
each
time
Mrs.
Reffold
looked
up
and
prevented
her
.
"
No
,
no
,
"
she
said
.
"
I
ca
n't
bear
myself
without
you
.
I
must
have
you
near
me
.
Why
should
you
leave
me
?
"
So
Bernardine
lingered
.
She
tried
to
read
a
book
which
lay
on
the
table
.
She
counted
the
lines
and
dots
on
the
wall-paper
.
She
thought
about
the
dead
man
;
and
about
the
living
woman
.
She
had
pitied
him
;
but
when
she
looked
at
the
stricken
face
of
his
wife
,
Bernardine
's
whole
heart
rose
up
in
pity
for
her
.
Remorse
would
come
,
although
it
might
not
remain
long
.
The
soul
would
see
itself
face
to
face
for
one
brief
moment
;
and
then
forget
its
own
likeness
.
But
for
the
moment
—
what
a
weight
of
suffering
,
what
a
whole
century
of
agony
!
Bernardine
grew
very
tender
for
Mrs.
Reffold
:
she
bent
over
the
sofa
,
and
fondled
the
beautiful
face
.
"
Mrs.
Reffold
"
.
.
.
she
whispered
.
That
was
all
she
said
:
but
it
was
enough
.
Mrs.
Reffold
burst
into
an
agony
of
tears
.
"
Oh
,
Miss
Holme
,
"
she
sobbed
,
"
and
I
was
not
even
kind
to
him
!
And
now
it
is
too
late
.
How
can
I
ever
bear
myself
?
"
And
then
it
was
that
the
soul
knew
its
own
remorse
.
CHAPTER
XVII
.
A
RETURN
TO
OLD
PASTURES
.
SHE
had
left
him
alone
and
neglected
for
whole
hours
when
he
was
alive
.
And
now
when
he
was
dead
,
and
it
probably
mattered
little
to
him
where
he
was
laid
,
it
was
some
time
before
she
could
make
up
her
mind
to
leave
him
in
the
lonely
little
Petershof
cemetery
.
"
It
will
be
so
dreary
for
him
there
,
"
she
said
to
the
Doctor
.
"
Not
so
dreary
as
you
made
it
for
him
here
,
"
thought
the
Doctor
.
But
he
did
not
say
that
:
he
just
urged
her
quietly
to
have
her
husband
buried
in
Petershof
;
and
she
yielded
.
So
they
laid
him
to
rest
in
the
dreary
cemetery
.
Bernardine
went
to
the
funeral
,
much
against
the
Disagreeable
Man
's
wish
.
"
You
are
looking
like
a
ghost
yourself
,
"
he
said
to
her
.
"
Come
out
with
me
into
the
country
instead
.
"
But
she
shook
her
head
.
"
Another
day
,
"
she
said
.
"
And
Mrs.
Reffold
wants
me
.
I
ca
n't
leave
her
alone
,
for
she
is
so
miserable
.
"
The
Disagreeable
Man
shrugged
his
shoulders
,
and
went
off
by
himself
.
Mrs.
Reffold
clung
very
much
to
Bernardine
those
last
days
before
she
left
Petershof
.
She
had
decided
to
go
to
Wiesbaden
,
where
she
had
relations
;
and
she
invited
Bernardine
to
go
with
her
:
it
was
more
than
that
,
she
almost
begged
her
.
Bernardine
refused
.
"
I
have
been
from
England
nearly
five
months
,
"
she
said
,
"
and
my
money
is
coming
to
an
end
.
I
must
go
back
and
work
.
"
"
Then
come
away
with
me
as
my
companion
,
"
Mrs.
Reffold
suggested
.
"
And
I
will
pay
you
a
handsome
salary
.
"
Bernardine
could
not
be
persuaded
.
"
No
,
"
she
said
.
"
I
could
not
earn
money
that
way
:
it
would
not
suit
me
.
And
besides
,
you
would
not
care
to
be
a
long
time
with
me
:
you
would
soon
tire
of
me
.
You
think
you
would
like
to
have
me
with
you
now
.
But
I
know
how
it
would
be
:
You
would
be
sorry
,
and
so
should
I
.
So
let
us
part
as
we
are
now
:
you
going
your
way
,
and
I
going
mine
.
We
live
in
different
worlds
,
Mrs.
Reffold
.
It
would
be
as
senseless
for
me
to
venture
into
yours
,
as
for
you
to
come
into
mine
.
Do
you
think
I
am
unkind
?
"
So
they
parted
.
Mrs.
Reffold
had
spoken
no
word
of
affection
to
Bernardine
,
but
at
the
station
,
as
she
bent
down
to
kiss
her
,
she
whispered
:
"
I
know
you
will
not
think
too
hardly
of
me
.
Still
,
will
you
promise
me
?
And
if
you
are
ever
in
trouble
,
and
I
can
help
you
,
will
you
write
to
me
?
"
And
Bernardine
promised
.
When
she
got
back
to
her
room
,
she
found
a
small
packet
on
her
table
.
It
contained
Mr.
Reffold
's
watch-chain
.
She
had
so
often
seen
him
playing
with
it
.
There
was
a
little
piece
of
paper
enclosed
with
it
,
and
Mr.
Reffold
had
written
on
it
some
two
months
ago
:
"
Give
my
watch-
chain
to
Little
Brick
,
if
she
will
sacrifice
a
little
of
her
pride
,
and
accept
the
gift
.
"
Bernardine
unfastened
her
watch
from
the
black
hair
cord
,
and
attached
it
instead
to
Mr.
Reffold
's
massive
gold
chain
.
As
she
sat
there
fiddling
with
it
,
the
idea
seized
her
that
she
would
be
all
the
better
for
a
day
's
outing
.
At
first
she
thought
she
would
go
alone
,
and
then
she
decided
to
ask
Robert
Allitsen
.
She
learnt
from
Marie
that
he
was
in
the
dark
room
,
and
she
hastened
down
.
She
knocked
several
times
before
there
was
any
answer
.
"
I
ca
n't
be
disturbed
just
now
,
"
he
said
.
"
Who
is
it
?
"
"
I
ca
n't
shout
to
you
,
"
she
said
.
The
Disagreeable
Man
opened
the
door
of
the
dark
room
.
"
My
negatives
will
be
spoilt
,
"
he
said
gruffly
.
Then
seeing
Bernardine
standing
there
,
he
added
:
"
Why
,
you
look
as
though
you
wanted
some
brandy
.
"
"
No
,
"
she
said
,
smiling
at
his
sudden
change
of
manner
.
"
I
want
fresh
air
,
a
sledge
drive
,
and
a
day
's
outing
.
Will
you
come
?
"
He
made
no
answer
,
and
retired
once
more
into
the
dark
room
.
Then
he
came
out
with
his
camera
.
"
We
will
go
to
that
inn
again
,
"
he
said
cheerily
.
"
I
want
to
take
the
photographs
to
those
peasants
.
"
In
half
an
hours
time
they
were
on
their
way
.
It
was
the
same
drive
as
before
:
and
since
then
,
Bernardine
had
seen
more
of
the
country
,
and
was
more
accustomed
to
the
wonderful
white
scenery
:
but
still
the
"
white
presences
"
awed
her
,
and
still
the
deep
silence
held
her
.
It
was
the
same
scene
,
and
yet
not
the
same
either
,
for
the
season
was
now
far
advanced
,
and
the
melting
of
the
snows
had
begun
.
In
the
far
distance
the
whiteness
seemed
as
before
;
but
on
the
slopes
near
at
hand
,
the
green
was
beginning
to
assert
itself
,
and
some
of
the
great
trees
had
cast
off
their
heavy
burdens
,
and
appeared
more
gloomy
in
their
freedom
than
in
the
days
of
their
snow-bondage
.
The
roads
were
no
longer
quite
so
even
as
before
;
the
sledge
glided
along
when
it
could
,
and
bumped
along
when
it
must
.
Still
,
there
was
sufficient
snow
left
to
make
the
drive
possible
,
and
even
pleasant
.
The
two
companions
were
quiet
.
Once
only
the
Disagreeable
Man
made
a
remark
,
and
then
he
said
:
"
I
am
afraid
my
negatives
will
be
spoilt
!
"
"
You
said
that
before
,
"
Bernardine
remarked
.
"
Well
,
I
say
it
again
,
"
he
answered
in
his
grim
way
.
Then
came
a
long
pause
.
"
The
best
part
of
the
winter
is
over
,
"
he
said
.
"
We
may
have
some
more
snow
;
but
it
is
more
probable
that
we
shall
not
.
It
is
not
enjoyable
being
here
during
the
melting
time
.
"
"
Well
,
in
any
case
I
should
not
be
here
much
longer
,
"
she
said
;
"
and
for
a
simple
reason
,
too
.
I
have
nearly
come
to
the
end
of
my
money
.
I
shall
have
to
go
back
and
set
to
work
again
.
I
should
not
have
been
able
to
give
myself
this
chance
,
but
that
my
uncle
spared
me
some
of
his
money
,
to
which
I
added
my
savings
.
"
"
Are
you
badly
off
?
"
the
Disagreeable
Man
asked
rather
timidly
.
"
I
have
very
few
wants
,
"
she
answered
brightly
.
"
And
wealth
is
only
a
relative
word
,
after
all
.
"
"
It
is
a
pity
that
you
should
go
back
to
work
so
soon
,
"
he
said
half
to
himself
.
"
You
are
only
just
better
;
and
it
is
easy
to
lose
what
one
has
gained
.
"
"
Oh
,
I
am
not
likely
to
lose
,
"
she
answered
;
"
but
I
shall
be
careful
this
time
.
I
shall
do
a
little
teaching
,
and
perhaps
a
little
writing
:
not
much
—
you
need
not
be
vexed
.
I
shall
not
try
to
pick
up
the
other
threads
yet
.
I
shall
not
be
political
,
nor
educational
,
nor
anything
else
great
.
"
"
If
you
call
politics
or
education
great
,
"
he
said
.
"
And
heaven
defend
me
from
political
or
highly
educated
women
!
"
"
You
say
that
because
you
know
nothing
about
them
,
"
she
said
sharply
.
"
Thank
you
,
"
he
replied
.
"
I
have
met
them
quite
often
enough
!
"
"
That
was
probably
some
time
ago
,
"
she
said
rather
heartlessly
.
"
If
you
have
lived
here
so
long
,
how
can
you
judge
of
the
changes
which
go
on
in
the
world
outside
Petershof
?
"
"
If
I
have
lived
here
so
long
,
"
he
repeated
,
in
the
bitterness
of
his
heart
.
Bernardine
did
not
notice
:
she
was
on
a
subject
which
always
excited
her
.
"
I
do
n't
know
so
much
about
the
political
women
,
"
she
said
,
"
but
I
do
know
about
the
higher
education
people
.
The
writers
who
rail
against
the
women
of
this
date
are
really
describing
the
women
of
ten
years
ago
.
Why
,
the
Girton
girl
of
ten
years
ago
seems
a
different
creation
from
the
Girton
girl
of
to-day
.
Yet
the
latter
has
been
the
steady
outgrowth
of
the
former
!
"
"
And
the
difference
between
them
?
"
asked
the
Disagreeable
Man
;
"
since
you
pride
yourself
on
being
so
well
informed
.
"
"
The
Girton
girl
of
ten
years
ago
,
"
said
Bernardine
,
"
was
a
,
sombre
,
spectacled
person
,
carelessly
and
dowdily
dressed
,
who
gave
herself
up
to
wisdom
,
and
despised
every
one
who
did
not
know
the
Agamemnon
by
heart
.
She
was
probably
not
lovable
;
but
she
deserves
to
be
honoured
and
thankfully
remembered
.
She
fought
for
woman
's
right
to
be
well
educated
,
and
I
cannot
bear
to
hear
her
slighted
.
The
fresh-hearted
young
girl
who
nowadays
plays
a
good
game
of
tennis
,
and
takes
a
high
place
in
the
Classical
or
Mathematical
Tripos
,
and
is
book
learnèd
,
without
being
bookish
,
and
.
.
.
.
"
"
What
other
virtues
are
left
,
I
wonder
?
"
he
interrupted
.
"
And
who
does
not
scorn
to
take
a
pride
in
her
looks
because
she
happens
to
take
a
pride
in
her
books
,
"
continued
Bernardine
,
looking
at
the
Disagreeable
Man
,
and
not
seeming
to
see
him
:
"
she
is
what
she
is
by
reason
of
that
grave
and
loveless
woman
who
won
the
battle
for
her
.
"
Here
she
paused
.
"
But
how
ridiculous
for
me
to
talk
to
you
in
this
way
!
"
she
said
.
"
It
is
not
likely
that
you
would
be
interested
in
the
widening
out
of
women
's
lives
.
"
"
And
pray
why
not
?
"
he
asked
.
"
Have
I
been
on
the
shelf
too
long
?
"
"
I
think
you
would
not
have
been
interested
even
if
you
had
never
been
on
the
shelf
,
"
she
said
frankly
.
"
You
are
not
the
type
of
man
to
be
generous
to
woman
.
"
"
May
I
ask
one
little
question
of
you
,
which
shall
conclude
this
subject
,
"
he
said
,
"
since
here
we
are
already
at
the
Gasthaus
:
to
which
type
of
learnèd
woman
do
you
lay
claim
to
belong
?
"
Bernardine
laughed
.
"
That
I
leave
to
your
own
powers
of
discrimination
,
"
she
said
,
and
then
added
,
"
if
you
have
any
.
"
And
that
was
the
end
of
the
matter
,
for
the
word
spread
about
that
Herr
Allitsen
had
arrived
,
and
every
one
turned
out
to
give
the
two
guests
greeting
.
Frau
Steinhart
smothered
Bernardine
with
motherly
tenderness
,
and
whispered
in
her
ear
:
"
You
are
betrothed
now
,
liebes
Fräulein
?
Ach
,
I
am
sure
of
it
.
"
But
Bernardine
smiled
and
shook
her
head
,
and
went
to
greet
the
others
who
crowded
round
them
;
and
at
last
poor
Catharina
drew
near
too
,
holding
Bernardine
's
hand
lovingly
within
her
own
.
Then
Hans
,
Liza
's
lover
,
came
upon
the
scene
,
and
Liza
told
the
Disagreeable
Man
that
she
and
Hans
were
to
be
married
in
a
month
's
time
.
And
the
Disagreeable
Man
,
much
to
Bernardine
's
amazement
,
drew
from
his
pocket
a
small
parcel
,
which
he
confided
to
Liza
's
care
.
Every
one
pressed
round
her
while
she
opened
it
,
and
found
what
she
had
so
often
wished
for
,
a
silver
watch
and
chain
.
"
Ach
,
"
she
cried
,
"
how
heavenly
!
How
all
the
girls
here
will
envy
me
!
How
angry
my
dear
friend
Susanna
will
be
!
"
Then
there
were
the
photographs
to
be
examined
.
Liza
looked
with
stubborn
disapproval
on
the
pictures
of
herself
in
her
working-dress
.
But
she
did
not
conceal
her
admiration
of
the
portraits
which
showed
her
to
the
world
in
her
best
finery
.
"
Ach
,
"
she
cried
,
"
this
is
something
like
a
photograph
!
"
The
Disagreeable
Man
grunted
,
but
behaved
after
the
fashion
of
a
hero
,
claiming
,
however
,
a
little
silent
sympathy
from
Bernardine
.
It
was
a
pleasant
,
homely
scene
:
and
Bernardine
,
who
,
felt
quite
at
her
ease
amongst
these
people
,
chatted
away
with
them
as
though
she
had
known
them
all
her
life
.
Then
Frau
Steinhart
suddenly
remembered
that
her
guests
needed
some
food
,
and
Liza
was
despatched
to
her
duties
as
cook
;
though
it
was
some
time
before
she
could
be
induced
to
leave
off
looking
at
the
photographs
.
"
Take
them
with
you
,
Liza
,
"
said
the
Disagreeable
Man
.
"
Then
we
shall
get
our
meal
all
the
quicker
!
"
She
ran
off
laughing
,
and
finally
Bernardine
found
herself
alone
with
Catharina
.
"
Liza
is
very
happy
,
"
she
said
to
Bernardine
.
"
She
loves
,
and
is
loved
.
"
"
That
is
the
greatest
happiness
,
"
Bernardine
said
half
to
herself
.
"
Fräulein
knows
?
"
Catharina
asked
eagerly
.
Bernardine
looked
wistfully
at
her
companion
.
"
No
,
Catharina
,
"
she
said
.
"
I
have
only
heard
and
read
and
seen
.
"
"
Then
you
cannot
understand
,
"
Catharina
said
almost
proudly
.
"
But
I
understand
!
"
She
spoke
no
more
after
that
,
but
took
up
her
knitting
,
and
watched
Bernardine
playing
with
the
kittens
.
She
was
playing
with
the
kittens
,
and
she
was
thinking
;
and
all
the
time
she
felt
conscious
that
this
peasant
woman
,
stricken
in
mind
and
body
,
was
pitying
her
because
that
great
happiness
of
loving
and
being
loved
had
not
come
into
her
life
.
It
had
seemed
something
apart
from
her
;
she
had
never
even
wanted
it
.
She
had
wished
to
stand
alone
,
like
a
little
rock
out
at
sea
.
And
now
?
In
a
few
minutes
the
Disagreeable
Man
and
she
sat
down
to
their
meal
.
In
spite
of
her
excitement
,
Liza
managed
to
prepare
everything
nicely
;
though
when
she
was
making
the
omelette
aux
fines
herbes
,
she
had
to
be
kept
guarded
lest
she
might
run
off
to
have
another
look
at
the
silver
watch
and
the
photographs
of
herself
in
her
finest
frock
!
Then
Bernardine
and
Robert
Allitsen
drank
to
the
health
of
Hans
and
Liza
:
and
then
came
the
time
of
reckoning
.
When
he
was
paying
the
bill
,
Frau
Steinhart
,
having
given
him
the
change
,
said
coaxingly
:
"
Last
time
,
you
and
Fräulein
each
paid
a
share
:
to-day
you
pay
all
.
Then
perhaps
you
are
betrothed
at
last
,
dear
Herr
Allitsen
?
Ach
,
how
the
old
Hausfrau
wishes
you
happiness
!
Who
deserves
to
be
happy
,
if
it
is
not
our
dear
Herr
Allitsen
?
"
"
You
have
given
me
twenty
centimes
too
much
,
"
he
said
quietly
.
"
You
have
your
head
so
full
of
other
things
that
you
cannot
reckon
properly
.
"
But
seeing
that
she
looked
troubled
lest
she
might
have
offended
him
,
he
added
quickly
:
"
When
I
am
betrothed
,
good
little
old
housemother
,
you
shall
be
the
first
to
know
.
"
And
she
had
to
be
content
with
that
.
She
asked
no
more
questions
of
either
of
them
:
but
she
was
terribly
disappointed
.
There
was
something
a
little
comical
in
her
disappointment
;
but
Robert
Allitsen
was
not
amused
at
it
,
as
he
had
been
on
a
former
occasion
.
As
he
leaned
back
in
the
sledge
,
with
the
same
girl
for
his
companion
,
he
recalled
his
feelings
.
He
had
been
astonished
and
amused
,
and
perhaps
a
little
shy
,
and
a
great
deal
relieved
that
she
had
been
sensible
enough
to
be
amused
too
.
And
now
?
They
had
been
constantly
together
for
many
months
:
he
who
had
never
cared
before
for
companionship
,
had
found
himself
turning
more
and
more
to
her
.
And
now
he
was
going
to
lose
her
.
He
looked
up
once
or
twice
to
make
sure
that
she
was
still
by
his
side
:
she
sat
there
so
quietly
.
At
last
he
spoke
in
his
usual
gruff
way
.
"
Have
you
exhausted
all
your
eloquence
in
your
oration
about
learned
women
?
"
he
asked
.
"
No
,
I
am
reserving
it
for
a
better
audience
,
"
she
answered
,
trying
to
be
bright
.
But
she
was
not
bright
.
"
I
believe
you
came
out
to
the
country
to
day
to
seek
for
cheerfulness
,
"
he
said
after
a
pause
.
"
Have
you
found
it
?
"
"
I
do
not
know
,
"
she
said
.
"
It
takes
me
some
time
to
recover
from
shocks
;
and
Mr.
Reffold
's
death
was
a
sorrow
to
me
.
What
do
you
think
about
death
?
Have
you
any
theories
about
life
and
death
,
and
the
bridge
between
them
?
Could
you
say
anything
to
help
one
?
"
"
Nothing
,
"
he
answered
.
"
Who
could
?
And
by
what
means
?
"
"
Has
there
been
no
value
in
philosophy
,
"
she
asked
,
"
and
the
meditations
of
learnèd
men
?
"
"
Philosophy
!
"
he
sneered
.
"
What
has
it
done
for
us
?
It
has
taught
us
some
processes
of
the
mind
's
working
;
taught
us
a
few
wonderful
things
which
interest
the
few
;
but
the
centuries
have
come
and
gone
,
and
the
only
thing
which
the
whole
human
race
pants
to
know
,
remains
unknown
:
our
beloved
ones
,
shall
we
meet
them
,
and
how
?
—
the
great
secret
of
the
universe
.
We
ask
for
bread
,
and
these
philosophers
give
us
a
stone
.
What
help
could
come
from
them
:
or
from
any
one
?
Death
is
simply
one
of
the
hard
facts
of
life
.
"
"
And
the
greatest
evil
,
"
she
said
.
"
We
weave
our
romances
about
the
next
world
,
"
he
continued
;
"
and
any
one
who
has
a
fresh
romance
to
relate
,
or
an
old
one
dressed
up
in
new
language
,
will
be
listened
to
,
and
welcomed
.
That
helps
some
people
for
a
little
while
;
and
when
the
charm
of
the
romance
is
over
,
then
they
are
ready
for
another
,
perhaps
more
fantastic
than
the
last
.
But
the
plot
is
always
the
same
:
our
beloved
ones
—
shall
we
meet
them
,
and
how
?
Is
n't
it
pitiful
?
Why
cannot
we
be
more
impersonal
?
These
puny
,
petty
minds
of
ours
!
When
will
they
learn
to
expand
?
"
"
Why
should
we
learn
to
be
more
impersonal
?
"
she
said
.
"
There
was
a
time
when
I
felt
like
that
;
but
now
I
have
learnt
something
better
:
that
we
need
not
be
ashamed
of
being
human
;
above
all
,
of
having
the
best
of
human
instincts
,
love
,
and
the
passionate
wish
for
its
continuance
,
and
the
unceasing
grief
at
its
withdrawal
.
There
is
no
indignity
in
this
;
nor
any
trace
of
weakmindedness
in
our
restless
craving
to
know
about
the
Hereafter
,
and
the
possibilities
of
meeting
again
those
whom
we
have
lost
here
.
It
is
right
,
and
natural
,
and
lovely
that
it
should
be
the
most
important
question
.
I
know
that
many
will
say
that
there
are
weightier
questions
:
they
say
so
,
but
do
they
think
so
?
Do
we
want
to
know
first
and
foremost
whether
we
shall
do
our
work
better
elsewhere
:
whether
we
shall
be
endowed
with
more
wisdom
:
whether
,
as
poor
Mr.
Reffold
said
,
we
shall
be
glad
to
behave
less
like
curs
,
and
more
like
heroes
?
These
questions
come
in
,
but
they
can
be
put
aside
.
The
other
question
can
never
be
put
on
one
side
.
If
that
were
to
become
possible
,
it
would
only
be
so
because
the
human
heart
had
lost
the
best
part
of
itself
,
its
own
humanity
.
We
shall
go
on
building
our
bridge
between
life
and
death
,
each
one
for
himself
.
When
we
see
that
it
is
not
strong
enough
,
we
shall
break
it
down
and
build
another
.
We
shall
watch
other
people
building
their
bridges
.
We
shall
imitate
,
or
criticise
,
or
condemn
.
But
as
time
goes
on
,
we
shall
learn
not
to
interfere
,
we
shall
know
that
one
bridge
is
probably
as
good
as
the
other
;
and
that
the
greatest
value
of
them
all
has
been
in
the
building
of
them
.
It
does
not
matter
what
we
build
,
but
build
we
must
:
you
,
and
I
,
and
every
one
.
"
"
I
have
long
ceased
to
build
my
bridge
,
"
the
Disagreeable
Man
said
.
"
It
is
an
almost
unconscious
process
,
"
she
said
.
"
Perhaps
you
are
still
at
work
,
or
perhaps
you
are
resting
.
"
He
shrugged
his
shoulders
,
and
the
two
comrades
fell
into
silence
again
.
They
were
within
two
miles
of
Petershof
,
when
he
broke
the
silence
:
there
was
something
wonderfully
gentle
in
his
voice
.
"
You
little
thing
,
"
he
said
,
"
we
are
nearing
home
,
and
I
have
something
to
ask
you
.
It
is
easier
for
me
to
ask
here
in
the
free
open
country
,
where
the
space
seems
to
give
us
breathing
room
for
our
cramped
lungs
and
minds
!
"
"
Well
,
"
she
said
kindly
;
she
wondered
what
he
could
have
to
say
.
"
I
am
a
little
nervous
of
offending
you
,
"
he
continued
,
"
and
yet
I
trust
you
.
It
is
only
this
.
You
said
you
had
come
to
the
end
of
your
money
,
and
that
you
must
go
home
.
It
seems
a
pity
when
you
are
getting
better
.
I
have
so
much
more
than
I
need
.
I
do
n't
offer
it
to
you
as
a
gift
,
but
I
thought
if
you
wished
to
stay
longer
,
a
loan
from
me
would
not
be
quite
impossible
to
you
.
You
could
repay
as
quickly
or
as
slowly
as
was
convenient
to
you
,
and
I
should
only
be
grateful
and
"
.
.
.
.
He
stopped
suddenly
.
The
tears
had
gathered
in
Bernardine
's
eyes
her
hand
rested
for
one
moment
on
his
arm
.
"
Mr.
Allitsen
,
"
she
said
,
"
you
did
well
to
trust
me
.
But
I
could
not
borrow
money
of
any
one
,
unless
I
was
obliged
.
If
I
could
of
any
one
,
it
would
have
been
of
you
.
It
is
not
a
month
ago
since
I
was
a
little
anxious
about
money
;
my
remittances
did
not
come
.
I
thought
then
that
if
obliged
to
ask
for
temporary
help
,
I
should
come
to
you
:
so
you
see
if
you
have
trusted
me
,
I
,
too
,
have
trusted
you
.
"
A
smile
passed
over
the
Disagreeable
Man
's
face
,
one
of
his
rare
,
beautiful
smiles
.
"
Supposing
you
change
your
mind
,
"
he
said
quietly
,
"
you
will
not
find
that
I
have
changed
mine
.
"
Then
a
few
minutes
brought
them
back
to
Petershof
.
CHAPTER
XVIII
.
A
BETROTHAL
.
HE
had
loved
her
so
patiently
,
and
now
he
felt
that
he
must
have
his
answer
.
It
was
only
fair
to
her
,
and
to
himself
too
,
that
he
should
know
exactly
where
he
stood
in
her
affections
.
She
had
certainly
given
him
little
signs
here
and
there
,
which
had
made
him
believe
that
she
was
not
indifferent
to
his
admiration
.
Little
signs
were
all
very
well
for
a
short
time
;
but
meanwhile
the
season
was
coming
to
an
end
:
she
had
told
him
that
she
was
going
back
to
her
work
at
home
.
And
then
perhaps
he
would
lose
her
altogether
.
It
would
not
be
safe
now
for
him
to
delay
a
single
day
longer
.
So
the
little
postman
armed
himself
with
courage
.
Wäli
's
brain
was
muddled
that
day
.
He
who
prided
himself
upon
knowing
the
names
of
all
the
guests
in
Petershof
,
made
the
most
absurd
mistakes
about
people
and
letters
too
;
and
received
in
acknowledgment
of
his
stupidity
a
series
of
scoldings
which
would
have
unnerved
a
stronger
person
than
the
little
hunchback
postman
.
In
fact
,
he
ceased
to
care
how
he
gave
out
the
letters
:
all
the
envelopes
seemed
to
have
the
same
name
on
them
:
Marie
Truog
.
Every
word
which
he
tried
to
decipher
turned
to
that
;
so
finally
he
tried
no
more
,
leaving
the
destination
of
the
letter
to
be
decided
by
the
impulse
of
the
moment
.
At
last
he
arrived
at
that
quarter
of
the
Kurhaus
where
Marie
held
sway
.
He
heard
her
singing
in
her
pantry
.
Suddenly
she
was
summoned
downstairs
by
an
impatient
bellringer
,
and
on
her
return
found
Wäli
waiting
in
the
passage
.
"
What
a
goose
you
are
!
"
she
cried
,
throwing
a
letter
at
him
;
"
you
have
left
the
wrong
letter
at
No.
82.
"
Then
some
one
else
rang
,
and
Marie
hurried
off
again
.
She
came
back
with
another
letter
in
her
hand
,
and
found
Wäli
sitting
in
her
pantry
.
"
The
wrong
letter
left
at
No.
54
,
"
she
said
,
"
and
Madame
in
a
horrid
temper
in
consequence
.
What
a
nuisance
you
are
to-day
,
Wäli
!
Ca
n't
you
read
?
Here
,
give
the
remaining
letters
to
me
.
I
'll
sort
them
.
"
Wäli
took
off
his
little
round
hat
,
and
wiped
his
forehead
.
"
I
ca
n't
read
to-day
,
Marie
,
"
he
said
;
something
has
gone
wrong
with
me
.
Every
name
I
look
at
turns
to
Marie
Truog
.
I
ought
to
have
brought
every
one
of
the
letters
to
you
.
But
I
knew
they
could
not
be
all
for
you
,
though
you
have
so
many
admirers
.
For
they
would
not
be
likely
to
write
at
the
same
time
,
to
catch
the
same
post
.
"
"
It
would
be
very
dull
if
they
did
,
"
said
Marie
,
who
was
polishing
some
water-bottles
with
more
diligence
than
was
usual
or
even
necessary
.
"
But
I
am
the
one
who
loves
you
,
Mariechen
,
"
the
little
postman
said
.
"
I
have
always
loved
you
ever
since
I
can
remember
.
I
am
not
much
to
look
at
,
Mariechen
:
the
binding
of
the
book
is
not
beautiful
,
but
the
book
itself
is
not
a
bad
book
.
"
Marie
went
on
polishing
the
water-bottles
.
Then
she
held
them
up
to
the
light
to
admire
their
unwonted
cleanness
.
"
I
do
n't
plead
for
myself
,
"
continued
Wäli
.
"
If
you
do
n't
love
me
,
that
is
the
end
of
the
matter
.
But
if
you
do
love
me
,
Mariechen
,
and
will
marry
me
,
you
wo
n't
be
unhappy
.
Now
I
have
said
all
.
"
Marie
put
down
the
water-bottles
,
and
turned
to
Wäli
.
"
You
have
been
a
long
time
in
telling
me
,
"
she
said
,
pouting
.
"
Why
did
n't
you
tell
me
three
months
ago
?
It
's
too
late
now
.
"
"
Oh
,
Mariechen
!
"
said
the
little
postman
,
seizing
her
hand
and
covering
it
with
kisses
;
"
you
love
some
one
else
—
you
are
already
betrothed
?
And
now
it
's
too
late
,
and
you
love
some
one
else
!
"
"
I
never
said
I
loved
some
one
else
,
"
Marie
replied
;
"
I
only
said
it
was
too
late
.
Why
,
it
must
be
nearly
five
o'clock
,
and
my
lamps
are
not
yet
ready
.
I
have
n't
a
moment
to
spare
.
Dear
me
,
and
there
is
no
oil
in
the
can
;
no
,
not
one
little
drop
!
"
The
devil
take
the
oil
!
"
exclaimed
Wäli
,
snatching
the
can
out
of
her
hands
.
"
What
do
I
want
to
know
about
the
oil
in
the
can
?
I
want
to
know
about
the
love
in
your
heart
.
Oh
,
Mariechen
,
do
n't
keep
me
waiting
like
this
!
Just
tell
me
if
you
love
me
,
and
make
me
the
merriest
soul
in
all
Switzerland
.
"
"
Must
I
tell
the
truth
,
"
she
said
,
in
a
most
melancholy
tone
of
voice
;
"
the
truth
and
nothing
else
?
Well
,
Wäli
,
if
you
must
know
.
.
.
how
I
grieve
to
hurt
you
.
.
.
.
"
Wäli
's
heart
sank
,
the
tears
came
into
his
eyes
.
"
But
since
it
must
be
the
truth
,
and
nothing
else
,
"
continued
the
torturer
,
"
well
Fritz
.
.
.
I
love
you
!
"
A
few
minutes
afterwards
,
the
Disagreeable
Man
,
having
failed
to
attract
any
notice
by
ringing
,
descended
to
Marie
's
pantry
,
to
fetch
his
lamp
.
He
discovered
Wäli
embracing
his
betrothed
.
"
I
am
sorry
to
intrude
,
"
he
said
grimly
,
and
he
retreated
at
once
.
But
directly
afterwards
he
came
back
.
"
The
matron
has
just
come
upstairs
,
"
he
said
.
And
he
hurried
away
.
CHAPTER
XIX
.
"
SHIPS
THAT
SPEAK
EACH
OTHER
IN
PASSING
.
"
MANY
of
the
guests
in
the
foreign
quarter
had
made
a
start
downwards
into
the
plains
;
and
the
Kurhaus
itself
,
though
still
well
filled
with
visitors
,
was
every
week
losing
some
of
its
invalids
.
A
few
of
the
tables
looked
desolate
,
and
some
were
not
occupied
at
all
,
the
lingerers
having
chosen
,
now
that
their
party
was
broken
up
,
to
seek
the
refuge
of
another
table
.
So
that
many
stragglers
found
their
way
to
the
English
dining-board
,
each
bringing
with
him
his
own
national
bad
manners
,
and
causing
much
annoyance
to
the
Disagreeable
Man
,
who
was
a
true
John
Bull
in
his
contempt
of
all
foreigners
.
The
English
table
was
,
so
he
said
,
like
England
herself
:
the
haven
of
other
nation
's
offscourings
.
There
were
several
other
signs
,
too
,
that
the
season
was
far
advanced
.
The
food
had
fallen
off
in
quality
and
quantity
.
The
invalids
,
some
of
them
better
and
some
of
them
worse
,
had
become
impatient
.
And
plans
were
being
discussed
,
where
formerly
temperatures
and
coughs
and
general
symptoms
were
the
usual
subjects
of
conversation
!
The
caretakers
,
too
,
were
in
a
state
of
agitation
;
some
few
keenly
anxious
to
be
of
to
new
pastures
;
and
others
,
who
had
perhaps
formed
attachments
,
an
occurrence
not
unusual
in
Petershof
,
were
wishing
to
hold
back
time
with
both
hands
,
and
were
therefore
delighted
that
the
weather
,
which
had
not
yet
broken
up
,
gave
no
legitimate
excuse
for
immediate
departure
.
Pretty
Fräulein
Müller
had
gone
,
leaving
her
Spanish
gentleman
quite
disconsolate
for
the
time
being
.
The
French
Marchioness
had
returned
to
the
Parisian
circles
where
she
was
celebrated
for
all
the
domestic
virtues
,
from
which
she
had
been
taking
such
a
prolonged
holiday
in
Petershof
.
The
little
French
danseuse
and
her
poodle
had
left
for
Monte
Carlo
.
M
.
Lichinsky
and
his
mother
passed
on
to
the
Tyrol
,
where
Madame
would
no
doubt
have
plenty
of
opportunities
for
quarrelling
:
or
not
finding
them
,
would
certainly
make
them
without
any
delay
,
by
this
means
keeping
herself
in
good
spirits
and
her
son
in
bad
health
.
There
were
some
,
too
,
who
had
hurried
off
without
paying
their
doctors
:
being
of
course
those
who
had
received
the
greatest
attention
,
and
who
had
expressed
the
greatest
gratitude
in
their
time
of
trouble
,
but
who
were
of
opinion
that
thankfulness
could
very
well
take
the
place
of
francs
:
an
opinion
not
entirely
shared
by
the
doctors
themselves
.
The
Swedish
professor
had
betaken
himself
off
,
with
his
chessmen
and
his
chessboard
.
The
little
Polish
governess
who
clutched
so
eagerly
at
her
paltry
winnings
,
caressing
those
centimes
with
the
same
fondness
and
fever
that
a
greater
gambler
grasps
his
thousands
of
francs
,
she
,
had
left
too
;
and
,
indeed
,
most
of
Bernardine
's
acquaintances
had
gone
their
several
ways
,
after
six
months
'
constant
intercourse
,
and
companionship
,
saying
good-bye
with
the
same
indifference
as
though
they
were
saying
good-morning
or
good-afternoon
.
This
cold-heartedness
struck
Bernardine
more
than
once
,
and
she
spoke
of
it
to
Robert
Allitsen
.
It
was
the
day
before
her
own
departure
,
and
she
had
gone
down
with
him
to
the
restaurant
,
and
sat
sipping
her
coffee
,
and
making
her
complaint
.
"
Such
indifference
is
astonishing
,
and
it
is
sad
too
.
I
cannot
understand
it
,
"
she
said
.
"
That
is
because
you
are
a
goose
,
"
he
replied
,
pouring
out
some
more
coffee
for
himself
,
and
as
an
after
thought
,
for
her
too
.
"
You
pretend
to
know
something
about
the
human
heart
,
and
yet
you
do
not
seem
to
grasp
the
fact
that
most
of
us
are
very
little
interested
in
other
people
:
they
for
us
and
we
for
them
can
spare
only
a
small
fraction
of
time
and
attention
.
We
may
,
perhaps
,
think
to
the
contrary
,
believing
that
we
occupy
an
important
position
in
their
lives
;
until
one
day
,
when
we
are
feeling
most
confident
of
our
value
,
we
see
an
unmistakable
sign
,
given
quite
unconsciously
by
our
friends
,
that
we
are
after
all
nothing
to
them
:
we
can
be
done
without
,
put
on
one
side
,
and
forgotten
when
not
present
.
Then
,
if
we
are
foolish
,
we
are
wounded
by
this
discovery
,
and
we
draw
back
into
ourselves
.
But
if
we
are
wise
,
we
draw
back
into
ourselves
without
being
wounded
:
recognizing
as
fair
and
reasonable
that
people
can
only
have
time
and
attention
for
their
immediate
belongings
.
Isolated
persons
have
to
learn
this
lesson
sooner
or
later
;
and
the
sooner
they
do
learn
it
,
the
better
.
"
"
And
you
,
"
she
asked
,
"
you
have
learnt
this
lesson
?
"
"
Long
ago
,
"
he
said
decidedly
.
"
You
take
a
hard
view
of
life
,
"
she
said
.
"
Life
has
not
been
very
bright
for
me
,
"
he
answered
.
"
But
I
own
that
I
have
not
cultivated
my
garden
.
And
now
it
is
too
late
:
the
weeds
have
sprung
up
everywhere
.
Once
or
twice
I
have
thought
lately
that
I
would
begin
to
clear
away
the
weeds
,
but
I
have
not
the
courage
now
.
And
perhaps
it
does
not
matter
much
.
"
"
I
think
it
does
matter
,
"
she
said
gently
.
"
But
I
am
no
better
than
you
,
for
I
have
not
cultivated
my
garden
.
"
"
It
would
not
be
such
a
difficult
business
for
you
as
for
me
,
"
he
said
,
smiling
sadly
.
They
left
the
restaurant
,
and
sauntered
out
together
.
"
And
to-morrow
you
will
be
gone
,
"
he
said
.
"
I
shall
miss
you
,
"
Bernardine
said
.
"
That
is
simply
a
question
of
time
,
"
he
remarked
.
"
I
shall
probably
miss
you
at
first
.
But
we
adjust
ourselves
easily
to
altered
circumstances
:
mercifully
.
A
few
days
,
a
few
weeks
at
most
,
and
then
that
state
of
becoming
accustomed
,
called
by
pious
folk
,
resignation
.
"
"
Then
you
think
that
the
every-day
companionship
,
the
every-day
exchange
of
thoughts
and
ideas
,
counts
for
little
or
nothing
?
"
she
asked
.
"
That
is
about
the
colour
of
it
,
"
he
answered
,
in
his
old
gruff
way
.
She
thought
of
his
words
when
she
was
packing
:
the
many
pleasant
hours
were
to
count
for
nothing
;
for
nothing
the
little
bits
of
fun
,
the
little
displays
of
temper
and
vexation
,
the
snatches
of
serious
talk
,
the
contradictions
,
and
all
the
petty
details
of
six
months
'
close
companionship
.
He
was
not
different
from
the
others
who
had
parted
from
her
so
lightly
.
No
wonder
,
then
,
that
he
could
sympathise
with
them
.
That
last
night
at
Petershof
,
Bernardine
hardened
her
heart
against
the
Disagreeable
Man
.
"
I
am
glad
I
am
able
to
do
so
,
"
she
said
to
herself
.
"
It
makes
it
easier
for
me
to
go
.
"
Then
the
vision
of
a
forlorn
figure
rose
before
her
.
And
the
little
hard
heart
softened
at
once
.
In
the
morning
they
breakfasted
together
as
usual
.
There
was
scarcely
any
conversation
between
them
.
He
asked
for
her
address
,
and
she
told
him
that
she
was
going
back
to
her
uncle
who
kept
the
second-hand
book-
shop
in
Stone
Street
.
"
I
will
send
you
a
guide-book
from
the
Tyrol
,
"
he
explained
.
"
I
shall
be
going
there
in
a
week
or
two
to
see
my
mother
.
"
"
I
hope
you
will
find
her
in
good
health
,
"
she
said
.
Then
it
suddenly
flashed
across
her
mind
what
he
had
told
her
about
his
one
great
sacrifice
for
his
mother
's
sake
.
She
looked
up
at
him
,
and
he
met
her
glance
without
flinching
.
He
said
good-bye
to
her
at
the
foot
of
the
staircase
.
It
was
the
first
time
she
had
ever
shaken
hands
with
him
.
"
Good-bye
,
"
he
said
gently
.
"
Good
luck
to
you
.
"
"
Good-bye
,
"
she
answered
.
He
went
up
the
stairs
,
and
turned
round
as
though
he
wished
to
say
something
more
.
But
he
changed
his
mind
,
and
kept
his
own
counsel
.
An
hour
later
Bernardine
left
Petershof
.
Only
the
concierge
of
the
Kurhaus
saw
her
off
at
the
station
.
CHAPTER
XX
.
A
LOVE-LETTER
.
TWO
days
after
Bernardine
had
left
Petershof
,
the
snows
began
to
melt
.
Nothing
could
be
drearier
than
that
process
:
nothing
more
desolate
than
the
outlook
.
The
Disagreeable
Man
sat
in
his
bedroom
trying
to
read
Carpenter
's
Anatomy
.
It
failed
to
hold
him
.
Then
he
looked
out
of
the
window
,
and
listened
to
the
dripping
of
the
icicles
.
At
last
he
took
a
pen
,
and
wrote
as
follows
:
"
LITTLE
COMRADE
,
LITTLE
PLAYMATE
.
"
"
I
could
not
believe
that
you
were
really
going
.
When
you
first
said
that
you
would
soon
be
leaving
,
I
listened
with
unconcern
,
because
it
did
not
seem
possible
that
the
time
could
come
when
we
should
not
be
together
;
that
the
days
would
come
and
go
,
and
that
I
should
not
know
how
you
were
;
whether
you
were
better
,
and
more
hopeful
about
your
life
and
your
work
,
or
whether
the
old
misery
of
indifference
and
ill-health
was
still
clinging
to
you
;
whether
your
voice
was
strong
as
of
one
who
had
slept
well
and
felt
refreshed
,
or
whether
it
was
weak
like
that
of
one
who
had
watched
through
the
long
night
.
"
It
did
not
seem
possible
that
such
a
time
could
come
.
Many
cruel
things
have
happened
to
me
,
as
to
scores
of
others
,
but
this
is
the
most
cruel
of
all
.
Against
my
wish
and
against
my
knowledge
,
you
have
crept
into
my
life
as
a
necessity
,
and
now
I
have
to
give
you
up
.
You
are
better
,
God
bless
you
,
and
you
go
back
to
a
fuller
life
,
and
to
carry
on
your
work
,
and
to
put
to
account
those
talents
which
no
one
realises
more
than
I
do
;
and
as
for
myself
,
God
help
me
,
I
am
left
to
wither
away
.
"
You
little
one
,
you
dear
little
one
,
I
never
wished
to
love
you
.
I
had
never
loved
any
one
,
never
drawn
near
to
any
one
.
I
have
lived
lonely
all
my
young
life
;
for
I
am
only
a
young
man
yet
.
I
said
to
myself
time
after
time
:
'
I
will
not
love
her
.
It
will
not
do
me
any
good
,
nor
her
any
good
.
'
And
then
in
my
state
of
health
,
what
right
had
I
to
think
of
marriage
,
and
making
a
home
for
myself
?
Of
course
that
was
out
of
the
question
.
And
then
I
thought
,
that
because
I
was
a
doomed
man
,
cut
off
from
the
pleasures
which
make
a
lovely
thing
of
life
,
it
did
not
follow
that
I
might
not
love
you
in
my
own
quiet
way
,
hugging
my
secret
to
myself
,
until
the
love
became
all
the
greater
because
it
was
my
secret
.
I
reasoned
about
it
too
:
it
could
not
harm
you
that
I
loved
you
.
No
one
could
be
the
worse
for
being
loved
.
So
little
by
little
I
yielded
myself
this
luxury
;
and
my
heart
once
so
dried
up
,
began
to
flower
again
;
yes
,
little
one
,
you
will
smile
when
I
tell
you
that
my
heart
broke
out
into
flower
.
"
When
I
think
of
it
all
now
,
I
am
not
sorry
that
I
let
myself
go
.
At
least
I
have
learnt
what
I
knew
nothing
of
before
:
now
I
understand
what
people
mean
when
they
say
that
love
adds
a
dignity
to
life
which
nothing
else
can
give
.
That
dignity
is
mine
now
,
nothing
can
take
it
from
me
;
it
is
my
own
.
You
are
my
very
own
;
I
love
everything
about
you
.
From
the
beginning
I
recognized
that
you
were
clever
and
capable
.
Though
I
often
made
fun
of
what
you
said
,
that
was
simply
a
way
I
had
;
and
when
I
saw
you
did
not
mind
,
I
continued
in
that
way
,
hoping
always
to
vex
you
;
your
good
temper
provoked
me
,
because
I
knew
that
you
made
allowances
for
me
being
a
Petershof
invalid
.
You
would
never
have
suffered
a
strong
man
to
criticize
you
as
I
did
;
you
would
have
flown
at
him
,
for
you
are
a
feverish
little
child
:
not
a
quiet
woolly
lamb
.
At
first
I
was
wild
that
you
should
make
allowances
for
me
.
And
then
I
gave
in
,
as
weak
men
are
obliged
.
When
you
came
,
I
saw
that
your
troubles
and
sufferings
would
make
you
bitter
.
Do
you
know
who
helped
to
cure
you
?
It
was
I
.
I
have
seen
that
often
before
.
That
is
the
one
little
bit
of
good
I
have
done
in
the
world
:
I
have
helped
to
cure
cynicism
.
You
were
shocked
at
the
things
I
said
,
and
you
were
saved
.
I
did
not
save
you
intentionally
,
so
I
am
not
posing
as
a
philanthropist
.
I
merely
mention
that
you
came
here
hard
,
and
you
went
back
tender
.
That
was
partly
because
you
have
lived
in
the
City
of
Suffering
.
Some
people
live
there
and
learn
nothing
.
But
you
would
learn
to
feel
only
too
much
.
I
wish
that
your
capacity
for
feeling
were
less
;
but
then
you
would
not
be
yourself
,
your
present
self
I
mean
,
for
you
have
changed
even
since
I
have
known
you
.
Every
week
you
seemed
to
become
more
gentle
.
You
thought
me
rough
and
gruff
at
parting
,
little
comrade
:
I
meant
to
be
so
.
If
you
had
only
known
,
there
was
a
whole
world
of
tenderness
for
you
in
my
heart
.
I
could
not
trust
myself
to
be
tender
to
you
;
you
would
have
guessed
my
secret
.
And
I
wanted
you
to
go
away
undisturbed
.
You
do
not
feel
things
lightly
,
and
it
was
best
for
you
that
you
should
harden
your
heart
against
me
.
"
If
you
could
harden
your
heart
against
me
.
But
I
am
not
sure
about
that
.
I
believe
that
.
.
.
.
Ah
,
well
,
I
'm
a
foolish
fellow
;
but
some
day
,
dear
,
I
'll
tell
you
what
I
think
.
.
.
.
I
have
treasured
many
of
your
sayings
in
my
memory
.
I
can
never
be
as
though
I
had
never
known
you
.
Many
of
your
words
I
have
repeated
to
myself
afterwards
until
they
seemed
to
represent
my
own
thoughts
.
I
specially
remember
what
you
said
about
God
having
made
us
lonely
,
so
that
we
might
be
obliged
to
turn
to
him
.
For
we
are
all
lonely
,
though
some
of
us
not
quite
so
much
as
others
.
You
yourself
spoke
often
of
being
lonely
.
Oh
,
my
own
little
one
!
Your
loneliness
is
nothing
compared
to
mine
.
How
often
I
could
have
told
you
that
.
"
I
have
never
seen
any
of
your
work
,
but
I
think
you
have
now
something
to
say
to
others
,
and
that
you
will
say
it
well
.
And
if
you
have
the
courage
to
be
simple
when
it
comes
to
the
point
,
you
will
succeed
.
And
I
believe
you
will
have
the
courage
,
I
believe
everything
of
you
.
"
But
whatever
you
do
or
do
not
,
you
will
always
be
the
same
to
me
:
my
own
little
one
,
my
