THE
WOMAN
WHO
DID
N'T
BY
VICTORIA
CROSSE
LONDON
:
JOHN
LANE
,
VIGO
ST
BOSTON
:
ROBERTS
BROS.
,
1895
Edinburgh
:
T
.
and
A
.
CONSTABLE
,
Printers
to
Her
Majesty
THE
WOMAN
WHO
DID
N'T
CHAPTER
I
‘
BUT
why
not
pay
them
?
We
may
just
as
well
now
as
when
we
reach
the
ship.’
The
words
came
in
a
clear
,
cultivated
woman
's
voice
through
the
foggy
duskiness
of
an
Egyptian
night
,
from
the
farther
end
of
the
boat
,
which
swayed
slightly
from
side
to
side
on
the
smoothly
heaving
water
.
It
was
an
Aden
boat
loaded
with
passengers
impatient
to
return
to
their
ship
.
At
least
presumably
they
were
impatient
,
but
it
was
simply
their
refusal
to
pay
the
clamouring
African
boatmen
their
legitimate
fee
that
kept
us
all
waiting
there
,
rocking
in
the
unsteady
wooden
shell
,
with
the
semicircle
of
lights
on
the
shore
rising
and
falling
before
us
through
the
hot
sulphurous
mist
.
The
boatmen
deferentially
but
firmly
refused
to
loose
the
boat
from
the
stage
till
each
passenger
had
paid
the
due
eightpence
for
his
fare
.
The
passengers
clamoured
and
yelled
,
and
swore
that
damned
swine
as
they
were
,
they
should
be
paid
when
they
reached
the
ship
,
and
not
before
.
This
sort
of
thing
had
been
going
on
for
half
an
hour
while
I
sat
smoking
in
the
stern
,
watching
the
Scorpion
in
the
jewelled
sky
above
sinking
slowly
to
the
pointed
rocks
,
and
listening
idly
to
the
storm
of
oaths
that
was
showered
on
the
impassive
blacks
for
daring
to
ask
for
their
pay
.
I
had
already
given
my
fare
when
I
first
stepped
into
the
boat
,
so
that
the
controversy
did
not
concern
me
beyond
my
feeling
bound
to
interfere
when
the
man
sitting
next
me
,
the
British
missionary
,
sprang
to
his
feet
with
an
oath
that
cannot
be
written
,
and
raised
his
walking-stick
to
strike
one
of
the
boatmen
in
the
face
.
I
had
just
caught
the
heavy
stick
and
forced
him
down
again
on
to
our
cross
bench
when
those
clear
tones
came
down
to
me
.
They
produced
a
distinct
sensation
of
pleasure
,
and
I
threw
a
keen
,
scrutinising
glance
up
the
boat
.
In
the
thick
yellow
air
,
rendered
all
the
more
dazzling
to
the
eyes
by
the
broken
,
flaring
light
of
the
boatmen
's
torches
,
I
saw
sitting
erect
in
the
bows
a
long
figure
and
the
pale
outlines
of
a
face
.
The
form
was
muffled
in
a
dark
voluminous
cloak
,
and
a
hood
was
drawn
over
the
head
.
‘I
should
pay
now
;
if
you
mean
to
at
all.’
The
voice
was
certainly
a
fascinating
one
,
and
the
last
phrase
had
a
supercilious
scepticism
in
it
that
amused
me
.
I
knew
,
as
well
as
the
boatmen
did
,
the
British
passengers
'
honourable
fashion
of
getting
conveyed
to
their
ship
under
promise
to
pay
,
and
then
huddling
away
upon
it
,
leaving
the
boatmen
to
demand
their
money
of
the
empty
air
,
and
evidently
the
possessor
of
the
voice
was
familiar
with
that
fashion
too
.
A
burst
of
resentful
ejaculation
followed
the
suggestion
.
‘What
!
pay
them
?
’
‘And
now
,
after
their
insolence
?
’
‘Give
in
to
these
damned
scoundrels
!
’
‘Well
,
’
the
cold
voice
broke
in
again
,
‘I
am
going
to
pay
mine
,
and
I
strongly
advise
you
to
,
or
we
may
lose
our
ship
.
What
can
it
matter
to
you
whether
you
pay
now
or
afterwards
?
’
Again
that
delightful
satire
in
the
cutting
tone
.
There
was
a
general
murmur
and
muttering
amongst
the
passengers
,
but
the
truth
of
the
remark
on
losing
the
ship
went
home
,
and
the
murmur
was
followed
by
a
simultaneous
getting
up
of
several
forms
,
as
everybody
began
fumbling
sulkily
for
the
necessary
pence
,
grumbling
and
swearing
as
they
did
so
.
‘Have
you
any
change
?
’
—
‘Oh
,
thanks
,
’
—
‘Pay
you
on
board
,
’
—
‘Filthy
pigs
,
’
—
and
other
broken
remarks
—
were
exchanged
during
another
ten
minutes
,
until
finally
the
money
was
collected
and
each
passenger
had
put
his
fare
into
the
black
extended
hand
above
us
.
‘Now
,
have
you
all
the
fares
?
’
asked
the
voice
gently
.
‘Yes
,
madam
;
thanks
to
you
,
madam
;
thank
you
,
madam
,
’
answered
the
glib
tones
of
the
native
.
‘Then
push
off.’
The
master-boatman
gave
the
command
and
the
natives
on
the
stage
pushed
with
a
will
.
Our
boat
shot
out
rocking
on
the
smooth
bay
.
‘Good-night
,
madam
,
’
called
the
boatman
respectfully
to
the
figure
in
the
bows
.
‘Good-night
,
’
it
answered
,
and
I
was
struck
now
by
the
note
of
sweetness
in
the
voice
.
Chorus
of
passengers
:
—
‘How
could
you
answer
those
insolent
rascals
?
’
‘They
were
not
the
least
insolent
,
and
they
were
perfectly
justified
in
demanding
their
money.’
The
voice
said
no
more
,
and
the
figure
relapsed
into
the
shadows
at
the
end
of
the
boat
.
I
could
see
nothing
more
of
it
.
All
the
other
passengers
were
engaged
in
commiserating
themselves
and
each
other
for
having
been
obliged
to
pay
their
fare
.
I
sat
back
and
smoked
in
silence
,
watching
the
lights
and
great
outline
of
our
ship
grow
larger
as
we
slid
over
the
water
towards
it
.
When
the
boat
ground
against
the
lowest
step
of
the
ladder
I
kept
my
seat
and
let
the
other
passengers
scramble
past
me
.
Twice
I
was
respectfully
requested
to
disembark
by
the
boatmen
,
as
my
seat
was
nearest
of
all
to
the
ladder
,
and
twice
I
politely
declined
,
and
sat
on
waiting
.
The
boat
completely
emptied
itself
,
and
then
at
last
the
figure
in
the
bows
rose
and
came
easily
down
the
unsteady
craft
towards
me
.
The
long
coat
reached
to
the
feet
and
fell
in
black
rigid
lines
,
but
the
form
was
a
wonderfully
symmetrical
one
,
and
I
got
up
with
alacrity
and
looked
eagerly
round
the
hood
into
the
face
as
the
figure
approached
me
.
‘Can
I
assist
you
?
’
and
I
held
out
my
hand
.
The
boat
was
jarring
up
and
down
against
the
ship
's
ladder
uncertainly
.
A
couple
of
Egyptians
held
it
with
their
hands
to
the
lowest
rung
waiting
for
us
.
Two
curiously
light
,
brilliant
eyes
met
mine
from
the
pale
smooth
face
enclosed
by
the
hood
.
‘Oh
,
thanks
,
very
much
,
’
she
said
in
a
pleasant
,
half-derisive
way
,
and
a
hand
came
on
mine
and
held
it
firmly
,
and
we
both
stepped
from
the
rocking
seat
on
to
the
steps
.
They
were
a
broad
flight
,
with
a
rope
on
either
side
,
and
I
and
my
companion
swung
ourselves
slowly
up
together
.
My
whole
idea
now
was
to
say
something
which
would
elicit
some
information
about
her
,
but
the
tall
form
beside
me
in
its
impenetrable
clothing
seemed
to
exercise
a
confusing
influence
over
me
.
My
thoughts
mixed
themselves
inextricably
,
and
at
last
,
when
we
were
near
the
top
of
the
ladder
,
I
remarked
simply
:
‘I
do
n't
think
I
've
seen
you
before
?
’
‘No
,
I
have
been
ill
with
fever
since
we
started
.
I
have
not
emerged
from
my
cabin.’
‘Are
you
near
the
centre
of
the
ship
?
’
‘Yes
,
close
to
the
centre
on
the
left
side.’
‘Left
side
?
That
's
the
men
's
side
,
’
I
remarked
carelessly
.
‘Oh
,
they
do
n't
divide
us
very
distinctly
in
these
French
boats
!
’
Confound
it
!
Here
we
were
at
the
head
of
the
ladder
.
‘Shall
we
stroll
round
the
deck
?
’
I
said
.
‘It
's
really
a
lovely
night
.
That
fog
is
only
just
on
the
surface
of
the
water.’
She
turned
to
me
with
a
gleaming
smile
;
the
light
from
the
deck
saloon
windows
fell
full
on
the
face
,
across
the
scintillating
eyes
and
brilliant
well-turned
mouth
.
‘Yes
,
I
've
no
objection
,
’
came
the
careless
answer
,
and
we
stepped
over
the
loose
coils
of
rope
,
passed
through
the
opening
in
the
chain
,
and
stood
side
by
side
on
the
deck
.
I
noticed
my
companion
's
shoulder
was
somewhat
beneath
my
own
.
I
wished
it
had
been
rough
weather
,
or
our
ship
out
of
gear
and
rolling
,
but
we
were
lying
motionless
in
the
bay
,
and
there
was
no
possible
excuse
for
offering
one
's
arm
.
‘Would
you
object
to
my
smoking
?
’
I
said
,
as
we
turned
towards
the
first-class
passengers
'
end
,
where
,
under
the
stretched
awning
,
in
shadowy
obscurity
,
stood
deck-chairs
of
all
descriptions
,
some
vacant
and
some
occupied
.
My
companion
laughed
.
It
was
rather
an
affected
,
effeminate
sort
of
laugh
,
and
it
irritated
me
.
Perhaps
it
meant
she
smoked
herself
.
I
got
out
my
cigar-case
and
handed
it
first
towards
her
.
‘Thanks
,
but
I
do
n't
smoke.’
That
was
more
encouraging
.
I
lighted
up
,
and
we
strolled
on
,
my
eyes
keenly
observant
of
her
under
dropped
lids
.
A
wonderful
carriage
and
walk
,
easy
and
self-reliant
almost
,
but
not
quite
to
the
point
of
arrogance
,
and
,
I
felt
sure
,
a
lovely
and
seductive
form
under
that
hideous
shapeless
garment
.
‘When
do
we
leave
to-night
,
do
you
know
?
’
she
asked
after
a
few
minutes
.
‘Midnight
,
I
fancy
,
’
I
answered
.
‘Well
,
it
'
s
close
to
that
now
,
I
should
think
.
I
am
going
down
,
so
that
I
can
have
a
chance
of
settling
to
sleep
before
we
start.’
‘Oh
,
do
n't
go
down
this
minute
,
’
I
urged
.
‘I
do
n't
suppose
we
shall
really
set
off
much
before
morning.’
‘Why
did
you
just
tell
me
midnight
then
?
’
she
said
amusedly
,
and
then
added
:
‘I
believe
you
've
had
too
many
pegs
!
’
I
laughed
.
All
the
time
we
had
been
walking
towards
the
companion-stair
,
and
I
did
not
want
to
see
her
disappear
down
it
.
‘Look
at
the
beauty
of
the
night
!
’
I
persisted
.
‘Surely
it
's
a
pity
to
waste
it
by
going
below
decks
!
’
‘Yes
,
it
is
beautiful
,
’
she
said
,
stopping
with
her
hand
on
the
stair-rail
and
casting
a
long
glance
round
the
encircling
purples
of
sky
and
sea
;
‘so
beautiful
that
you
should
contemplate
it
in
silence
and
alone
.
—
Good-night.’
‘Oh
,
let
me
see
you
to
your
cabin
,
’
I
said
hastily
.
‘And
what
about
the
beauty
of
the
night
?
Surely
it
's
a
pity
to
waste
it
by
coming
below
decks
!
’
‘Orpheus
descended
even
into
Hades
on
a
memorable
occasion
,
’
I
returned
.
She
was
already
half-way
down
the
stairs
,
and
I
followed
her
to
the
lower
passage
.
At
the
foot
of
the
steps
she
stopped
and
turned
.
‘Do
you
know
my
name
?
’
she
asked
,
with
a
faint
intonation
of
surprise
.
‘No
,
’
I
said
promptly
;
‘I
wish
I
did
!
’
‘Well
,
but
what
made
you
say
that
then
?
’
‘Say
what
?
’
I
asked
.
‘Why
,
about
Orpheus
!
’
‘I
do
n't
know
what
you
mean
,
’
I
said
in
astonishment
.
‘You
're
not
called
Orpheus
surely
!
’
and
we
both
laughed
.
‘No
,
but
...
Eurydice
...
I
thought
perhaps
you
knew
and
...
’
‘Oh
no
,
’
I
said
hastily
;
‘I
had
no
idea
!
What
a
curious
coincidence
!
Is
it
really
Eurydice
?
It
's
an
awfully
pretty
name
!
’
‘Not
with
the
surname
,
’
she
answered
,
laughing
.
‘Eurydice
Williamson
!
Is
n't
it
a
frightful
combination
!
’
‘I
do
n't
think
so
,
’
I
maintained
unblushingly
,
though
the
seven
syllables
in
conjunction
positively
set
my
teeth
on
edge
.
Down
here
there
was
a
good
deal
of
confusion
,
and
evident
signs
of
approaching
departure
;
luggage
that
had
not
yet
been
transferred
to
its
owner
's
cabin
or
the
hold
stood
blocking
up
the
fairly
broad
space
between
the
lines
of
cabins
on
either
side
of
the
vessel
;
the
rafters
were
close
over
our
heads
;
behind
us
thudded
the
engine
,
sending
down
streams
of
oil-scent
and
hot
air
through
the
thick
atmosphere
.
There
was
no
light
but
that
which
fell
through
the
dim
,
smoke-stained
glass
of
a
lamp
swung
to
a
cross-beam
over
our
head
.
It
enabled
us
just
to
see
where
to
put
our
feet
and
avoid
the
piles
of
luggage
,
odd
oil-cans
,
and
loose
coils
of
rope
lying
in
all
directions
.
No
one
seemed
down
here
.
The
passengers
had
for
the
most
part
disappeared
into
their
cabins
.
The
crew
seemed
wholly
occupied
on
deck
.
Over
our
heads
tramped
perpetual
hurried
footsteps
,
chains
were
dragged
,
orders
shouted
,
and
goods
pushed
along
the
boards
;
but
down
here
all
was
an
obscure
,
heated
,
smoke-filled
dusk
.
‘That
is
my
cabin
,
I
think
,
’
my
companion
said
,
and
I
saw
a
white
painted
door
a
little
ahead
of
us
with
No.
36
printed
on
it
.
Another
minute
and
she
would
have
passed
through
it
,
not
to
reappear
for
another
twelve
hours
.
I
felt
quite
annoyed
at
the
thought
.
I
glanced
at
the
covered
head
and
neck
and
shoulders
beside
me
in
a
succession
of
rapid
nervous
glances
,
and
each
time
rejected
an
importunate
idea
that
kept
suggesting
itself
again
and
again
with
maddening
persistency
.
Then
we
were
standing
at
the
white-painted
door
,
and
she
stretched
her
hand
to
the
handle
.
‘Good-night
,
’
she
said
,
and
she
turned
the
pale
contour
of
her
face
and
its
shining
eyes
upon
me
.
I
felt
dizzy
with
sudden
excitement
;
the
face
whirled
before
my
eyes
in
the
dingy
air
.
I
bent
over
her
on
a
mischievous
,
jesting
impulse
,
pinned
one
shoulder
against
the
cabin
door
,
and
leant
my
lips
down
to
hers
.
She
drew
her
head
back
violently
to
avoid
them
,
and
I
heard
the
sharp
blow
of
the
skull
on
the
woodwork
.
The
next
second
both
her
hands
struck
my
chest
,
and
pushed
me
backwards
with
desperate
force
.
She
opened
the
door
behind
her
,
and
the
next
instant
its
white
boards
were
between
us
.
I
looked
at
them
savagely
for
a
second
,
then
I
collected
myself
and
turned
with
a
laugh
to
find
my
way
out
of
this
stifling
,
murky
,
circumscribed
space
.
I
hurried
up
the
companion-stair
and
turned
on
to
the
deck
into
the
still
,
hot
night
.
Just
as
I
did
so
the
figure
of
my
travelling
companion
came
down
towards
me
.
‘I
say
!
Dickinson
!
’
‘Hullo
!
’
‘Do
you
know
who
that
person
is
,
Williamson
the
name
is
,
in
No.
36
cabin
?
’
Dickinson
stopped
and
stared
at
me
.
‘What
have
you
been
up
to
?
’
he
said
laconically
after
a
minute
's
survey
.
‘Why
?
’
I
said
evasively
,
feeling
myself
colour
.
‘How
do
you
mean
?
’
‘Well
,
you
look
rather
excited
.
Come
and
have
a
drink.’
‘Yes
,
I
think
I
will
,
’
I
answered
.
‘But
really
,
have
you
seen
this
passenger
Williamson
?
Upon
my
honour
the
dress
was
most
extraordinary.’
‘What
on
earth
are
you
talking
about
?
’
Dickinson
returned
.
‘I
do
n't
know
whom
you
mean
.
All
the
passengers
I
've
seen
are
a
most
ordinary
lot.’
I
saw
he
knew
nothing
about
it
,
and
that
I
could
not
get
any
information
from
him
,
and
it
suddenly
occurred
to
me
it
was
unwise
to
interest
him
too
much
in
the
Unknown
.
Dickinson
was
a
good-looking
fellow
,
and
piqued
himself
on
his
skill
and
experience
with
women
.
When
he
returned
to
the
charge
a
minute
later
,
as
I
kept
silence
,
with
‘Well
,
what
's
the
joke
?
Come
along
,
let
's
have
it
,
’
I
answered
:
‘Oh
,
bother
!
I
do
n't
know
.
Let
's
get
those
drinks
before
the
stewards
go.’
Dickinson
got
the
impression
I
was
a
little
screwed
,
and
I
let
him
keep
it
.
I
took
a
couple
of
brandies
and
sodas
with
him
in
the
saloon
,
talked
a
lot
of
nonsense
to
avoid
rational
conversation
,
and
then
got
away
to
my
own
cabin
,
bolted
the
door
,
turned
on
the
electric
light
,
and
flung
myself
on
the
couch
under
the
window
.
I
made
myself
comfortable
with
a
cushion
under
my
head
,
and
a
first-rate
Aden
cigarette
in
my
teeth
,
and
stared
up
through
the
great
square
open
port-window
at
the
brilliant
sky
,
which
changed
as
the
ship
moved
onward
as
a
turning
kaleidoscope
.
I
was
thinking
of
the
dead
failure
of
that
kiss
,
and
I
laughed
outright
as
I
recalled
the
sharp
blow
of
the
head
on
the
woodwork
.
‘Fearful
crack
it
must
have
been
!
’
I
thought
.
‘I
shall
be
in
for
some
terrific
apology
to-morrow
,
I
expect.’
Of
course
my
conduct
had
been
terribly
flippant
and
my
levity
quite
reprehensible
,
but
then
a
hard-worked
Indian
officer
,
going
home
on
his
first
leave
,
is
apt
to
be
afflicted
with
a
buoyancy
of
spirits
.
It
is
not
a
malady
that
attacks
us
very
frequently
in
this
life
,
but
I
had
it
badly
just
then
.
Six
years
of
honest
hard
labour
in
the
East
lay
behind
me
.
One
year
's
idleness
at
home
,
gilded
with
a
thundering
good
income
just
come
into
,
lay
before
me
.
In
these
circumstances
,
who
would
not
feel
a
certain
irresponsible
gaiety
?
I
lay
back
contentedly
,
with
my
thoughts
wandering
to
England
and
all
I
would
do
there
,
and
with
a
comfortable
conviction
I
was
the
luckiest
fellow
going
.
The
next
morning
I
was
at
the
breakfast-table
punctually
at
nine
,
and
I
scanned
the
line
of
faces
on
either
side
with
eager
eyes
,
but
the
one
I
sought
was
absent
.
For
the
whole
two
hours
during
which
breakfast
was
served
to
relays
of
passengers
I
sat
waiting
with
exemplary
patience
;
but
she
did
not
appear
,
and
when
the
stewards
came
to
remove
the
cloth
I
went
up-stairs
,
feeling
vexed
and
disappointed
.
‘Ill
again
,
I
suppose
,
’
I
thought
,
and
began
to
walk
slowly
up
the
deck
.
Then
as
I
glanced
along
the
polished
boards
,
shining
in
the
morning
sunlight
,
suddenly
I
saw
her
.
My
heart
beat
suddenly
.
I
felt
the
blood
come
to
my
face
,
and
I
turned
aside
and
leant
over
the
rail
,
that
I
might
see
for
a
moment
without
being
seen
.
Iron
supports
ran
up
from
the
side-railing
to
which
the
awning
was
attached
,
and
beside
one
of
these
,
round
which
a
loose
piece
of
canvas
furled
and
unfurled
in
the
salt
breeze
,
I
stood
and
looked
along
the
deck
.
She
was
sitting
in
a
long
chair
reading
.
The
fierce
light
beating
through
the
yellow
canvas
fell
warmly
round
her
.
She
was
dressed
in
white
serge
,
and
the
form
I
had
divined
last
night
I
clearly
and
exactly
realised
with
my
vision
now
.
Thin
,
as
I
had
thought
,
but
incomparably
graceful
,
with
a
turn
of
the
shoulder
and
a
pose
of
the
neck
,
that
,
as
my
eye
caught
it
,
seemed
to
arrest
my
very
pulses
.
She
was
wearing
no
hat
,
and
the
stray
gleams
of
sunlight
coming
at
intervals
under
the
awning
glittered
on
the
dark
hair
,
making
it
a
confusion
of
gilt
and
ebony
.
I
paused
a
second
or
two
to
get
rid
of
the
look
of
triumphant
pleasure
I
felt
must
be
on
my
face
,
and
then
,
summoning
the
most
dejected
expression
I
could
,
I
walked
hastily
up
towards
her
with
a
sort
of
contrite
,
desperately
anxious
air
.
She
continued
to
read
till
I
was
close
beside
her
chair
.
I
stopped
and
looked
down
upon
her
,
and
she
glanced
up
at
me
.
Such
a
look
came
upon
me
from
under
the
lids
!
Sabres
unsheathed
,
knives
in
the
sunlight
,
and
fires
burnt
blue
,
were
none
of
them
in
it
with
that
look
,
and
as
she
transferred
her
eyes
immediately
to
the
book
again
,
I
almost
expected
to
see
the
page
shrivel
under
them
.
I
felt
rather
shrivelled
.
‘Will
you
ever
forgive
me
for
last
night
?
’
I
said
in
my
gentlest
tone
.
‘I
have
no
words
to
say
how
I
regret
it.’
There
was
no
response
.
I
waited
,
watching
the
delicate
angry
scarlet
receding
and
returning
,
glowing
and
suffusing
itself
,
under
the
pale
skin
.
I
felt
keenly
,
as
it
were
,
extra
conscious
of
everything
,
—
of
the
heat
smiting
down
on
us
through
the
canvas
,
of
the
glare
from
the
shimmering
sea
,
of
the
buoyant
roll
of
the
ship
as
it
cut
through
the
blue
turbulent
water
.
‘What
is
there
I
can
say
or
do
?
How
can
I
earn
your
forgiveness
?
’
No
answer
.
The
long
figure
and
the
satin
head
beneath
me
remained
motionless
.
‘To
forgive
,
’
I
murmured
,
‘is
the
divinest
prerogative
of
the
human
being.’
‘On
the
contrary
,
’
and
the
tone
of
the
cold
voice
seemed
literally
to
cut
the
sunny
air
,
‘to
respect
itself.’
‘One
cannot
respect
oneself
if
one
has
no
charity
and
no
mercy
,
’
I
returned
.
A
slight
shrug
of
the
shoulders
was
the
only
answer
.
I
stood
wondering
what
argument
would
tell
with
her
most
;
then
,
taking
my
cue
from
her
last
words
,
I
said
in
a
low
voice
:
‘At
least
there
's
one
extenuation
,
not
of
my
error
perhaps
,
but
of
the
injury
to
you
:
I
did
not
succeed.’
The
scarlet
under
her
eyes
deepened
a
little
,
and
she
answered
curtly
:
‘No
.
If
you
had
,
I
never
could
have
forgiven
you.’
My
heart
beat
.
‘But
now
you
will
?
’
I
said
,
bending
a
little
lower
and
throwing
the
most
reverential
anxiety
into
my
tone
.
She
was
silent
a
few
seconds
,
then
she
said
decisively
:
‘Yes
.
Let
us
say
no
more
with
reference
to
it
.
I
wish
to
forget
such
a
thing
was
even
possible.’
I
was
rather
surprised
at
her
summary
dismissal
of
the
subject
.
It
was
more
a
masculine
than
a
feminine
way
of
treating
it
.
I
expected
her
to
forgive
me
,
but
I
thought
that
,
like
most
women
,
she
would
have
pottered
round
the
matter
at
least
half
an
hour
first
.
However
,
the
surprise
was
pleasant
,
and
I
felt
on
the
whole
admiration
for
the
way
she
had
treated
me
.
She
had
forgiven
me
,
but
she
had
made
me
feel
distinctly
that
pardon
was
no
invitation
to
err
again
,
and
her
brief
disposal
of
the
matter
seemed
to
me
more
convincing
of
her
real
anger
than
if
she
had
maintained
a
show
of
implacable
resentment
.
I
stood
looking
down
upon
her
in
silence
,
noting
the
tranquil
forehead
with
not
a
line
to
mar
it
,
from
the
sweep
of
the
long
eyebrows
to
the
black
silk-like
rings
of
the
hair
at
the
pale
oval
of
the
face
,
lighted
by
the
fleeting
scarlet
tints
in
the
cheeks
and
the
curious
lustre
of
the
eyes
.
I
turned
and
drew
an
empty
chair
up
beside
hers
at
the
side
of
the
deck
and
threw
myself
into
it
.
There
was
silence
between
us
,
and
I
made
no
effort
to
break
it
.
For
those
moments
I
delivered
myself
over
to
that
sense
of
keen
simple
pleasure
in
life
that
comes
upon
all
created
beings
at
times
,
even
the
most
wretched
,
like
an
unexpected
gust
of
wind
.
The
realisation
comes
suddenly
that
they
live
,
and
Life
itself
,
distinct
from
circumstance
and
environment
,
is
pure
rapture
.
I
leant
back
in
the
mellow
light
under
the
sun-smitten
awning
,
the
freshening
breeze
urging
ing
on
the
flying
steamer
,
the
blue
undulating
billows
rolling
and
swelling
exuberantly
as
they
bore
us
on
.
I
felt
the
keen
salt
wind
,
full
of
vital
life-giving
principle
,
blow
against
my
face
,
and
I
looked
at
this
beautiful
living
object
beside
me
in
silence
,
realising
the
joy
of
existence
.
‘I
did
not
see
you
at
breakfast
this
morning
?
’
I
said
at
last
.
‘No
,
’
she
answered
,
with
the
slow
brilliant
smile
I
had
noted
last
night
.
‘I
was
ill.
It
is
an
horribly
unpoetic
thing
to
suffer
from
,
sea-sickness
—
the
sort
of
thing
one
would
like
to
be
specially
exempted
from
by
Providence
,
but
I
'm
not
,
unfortunately.’
‘I
do
n't
agree
with
your
line
of
thought
at
all
,
’
I
said
,
laughing
.
‘I
think
those
people
that
are
above
the
ordinary
weaknesses
of
human
nature
are
hateful
:
—
people
with
seraphic
constitutions
,
that
never
catch
an
honest
cold
,
nor
have
toothache
,
are
never
sea-sick
,
and
never
look
seedy
.
It
's
annoying
to
ordinary
mortals.’
The
girl
laughed
.
‘Men
do
n't
generally
like
a
woman
to
look
seedy.’
‘I
do
n't
know
.
I
think
pain
and
suffering
on
a
beautiful
face
accentuate
its
beauty
,
and
it
gives
opportunity
to
soothe
and
console
.
I
think
a
perfectly
independent
person
is
always
irritating
and
unattractive.’
She
turned
to
me
with
a
marked
elevation
of
her
eyebrows
and
a
brilliant
,
derisive
mockery
in
her
eyes
.
‘Do
you
mean
to
intimate
you
are
sympathetic
?
’
‘I
think
I
am
rather.’
‘You
surprise
me
!
’
‘Why
?
’
I
asked
.
‘I
never
met
a
man
who
was
so
yet.’
‘I
am
sure
you
must
have
had
tremendous
experience
!
’
I
said
mockingly
,
watching
the
vermilion
,
elliptical
lines
of
her
mouth
form
and
vanish
and
form
again
as
she
smiled
and
talked
.
‘Perhaps
not
,
’
she
answered
.
‘A
little
goes
a
long
way.’
She
spoke
with
a
charming
smile
and
in
a
light
,
easy
tone
,
but
my
ear
detected
the
accent
of
genuine
contempt
in
it
—
not
the
emphasised
contempt
displayed
for
bravado
of
something
really
half
admired
,
but
the
indulgent
contempt
of
absolute
indifference
.
And
it
stimulated
me
.
I
was
so
thoroughly
accustomed
to
the
anxious
servility
which
characterises
the
ordinary
young
girl
's
conversation
with
men
that
this
new
tone
of
faint
,
slighting
disdain
struck
me
directly
.
It
was
not
pleasant
;
on
the
contrary
,
it
was
irritating
and
uncomfortable
,
but
at
least
it
was
a
change
.
I
did
not
answer
,
but
just
leant
back
and
looked
at
her
,
and
wondered
what
was
the
source
of
this
contempt
.
I
felt
it
was
not
the
mere
arrogance
of
a
good-looking
woman
accustomed
to
flattery
and
attention
.
That
subtle
inflexion
of
scorn
in
the
clear
voice
was
the
unconscious
expression
of
a
genuine
indifference
for
that
which
is
known
to
be
worthless
.
And
I
felt
,
too
,
as
I
watched
the
gleaming
eyes
that
had
turned
from
mine
,
and
were
now
absently
fixed
on
the
distant
sky-line
,
that
there
was
another
spring
to
this
emotion
—
a
knowledge
of
worth
within
erself
.
Our
chairs
remained
side
by
side
all
through
the
morning
,
and
we
talked
in
a
lazy
,
desultory
way
at
intervals
without
either
of
us
taking
the
trouble
to
sustain
a
continuous
conversation
,
and
when
the
luncheon-bell
rang
we
went
down
together
,
to
find
that
we
sat
opposite
each
other
.
That
evening
after
dinner
I
strolled
up
on
deck
.
It
seemed
too
hot
for
the
smoking-
room
to
be
attractive
—
besides
,
where
was
Eurydice
?
Instinctively
I
wanted
to
see
her
again
.
The
middle
part
of
the
deck
,
where
I
came
up
,
seemed
deserted
,
and
I
stood
for
a
minute
at
the
side
,
noting
the
splendour
of
the
night
.
It
was
the
splendour
of
the
tropics
.
A
huge
saffron
moon
rolled
downwards
through
the
purple
sky
that
hung
low
over
the
ship
,
like
a
dark
,
inflated
curtain
,
and
seemed
to
quiver
and
pulsate
with
the
ceaseless
,
restless
light
of
its
stars
and
planets
.
The
air
was
heavy
and
oppressive
,
almost
sulphurous
,
like
the
air
at
the
mouth
of
a
crater
.
As
I
stood
watching
the
indolent
,
black
water
undulating
silently
away
to
the
dark
horizon
,
the
faint
,
tinkling
notes
of
a
banjo
came
down
to
me
from
the
forward
part
of
the
ship
.
I
listened
,
and
then
the
words
reached
me
,
‘She
told
me
her
age
was
five-and-twenty
!
’
sung
with
much
spirit
and
rapidity
.
I
laughed
and
walked
forward
in
the
direction
of
the
sound
.
The
passengers
had
gathered
at
this
end
of
the
ship
,
and
were
clustered
together
in
groups
or
lines
in
their
deck-chairs
.
It
was
dusky
;
there
was
no
artificial
light
here
,
and
the
moon
,
hastening
headlong
downwards
to
the
sea
,
only
gave
an
uncertain
,
transverse
light
across
the
smooth
rolling
waves
.
I
wound
in
and
out
amongst
the
chairs
,
following
the
sound
,
and
reached
a
little
group
of
four
at
the
extreme
end
of
the
vessel
.
One
of
that
group
was
Eurydice
.
She
was
sitting
looking
down
the
ship
,
and
she
smiled
as
she
saw
me
come
up
.
She
was
sitting
on
a
camp-stool
seemingly
,
and
leaning
against
the
bulwarks
.
Dickinson
and
another
man
were
balanced
on
the
top
bar
of
the
rail
,
and
a
girl
of
about
nineteen
sat
cross-legged
on
the
deck
,
the
banjo
she
had
just
finished
playing
in
her
lap
,
and
the
cigar
she
had
just
lighted
in
her
mouth
.
All
were
smoking
,
in
fact
,
except
Eurydice
.
Beside
them
,
on
an
empty
tar-barrel
turned
up
,
stood
four
cups
of
coffee
and
a
slim
liqueur-bottle
.
Dickinson
looked
across
at
me
from
his
perch
and
laughed
.
‘Do
n't
you
think
we
look
comfortable
?
’
he
asked
.
‘Extremely
,
’
I
said
,
glancing
over
them
.
‘Shall
I
disturb
you
?
’
‘Not
a
bit
,
’
answered
the
girl
with
the
banjo
.
‘Come
and
sit
down
à
la
Afghan
,
it
's
a
nice
steady
position
,
and
have
a
cigar
!
’
She
looked
up
at
me
smiling
,
and
laid
her
hand
on
the
deck
beside
her
with
a
gesture
of
invitation
.
I
glanced
down
upon
her
.
She
was
handsome
,
very
,
or
at
any
rate
looked
so
at
that
moment
,
with
her
eyes
full
of
animated
impertinence
,
a
flush
on
either
cheek
,
and
the
light
brown
curls
of
her
close-cropped
hair
gently
stirred
by
the
night
wind
as
the
rolling
ship
bore
onwards
.
She
had
disdained
to
dress
for
dinner
,
and
still
wore
her
morning
shirt
and
collar
,
with
a
man
's
red
tie
knotted
round
her
neck
,
and
she
sat
cross-legged
with
the
cigar
in
her
mouth
,
reminding
one
of
the
American
girl
,
slang
,
modern
fastness
,
and
other
disagreeable
things
.
I
looked
at
the
woman
directly
facing
her
.
Eurydice
was
leaning
forward
,
her
elbow
resting
on
her
knee
and
her
chin
supported
on
her
hand
,
looking
down
the
length
of
the
ship
.
Her
black
hair
was
parted
in
the
middle
and
lay
heavy
above
the
narrow
forehead
and
long
eyebrows
.
Her
arms
and
neck
were
bare
,
and
their
whiteness
hardly
defined
itself
from
the
whiteness
of
her
dress
.
Just
so
might
the
real
Eurydice
have
sat
and
looked
,
gazing
down
one
of
the
green
alleys
of
Greece
.
The
thought
shot
across
me
for
one
moment
,
and
it
seemed
while
these
two
women
sat
opposite
each
other
as
if
two
centuries
had
been
brought
face
to
face
,
the
century
of
Orpheus
and
the
nineteenth
,
and
the
intermediate
centuries
no
longer
rolled
between
.
I
felt
disinclined
to
plant
myself
cross-legged
beside
this
girl
and
smoke
beneath
this
other
woman
's
eyes
,
and
I
glanced
round
for
a
chair
.
Failing
this
there
was
a
second
empty
barrel
which
I
drew
close
to
Eurydice
's
side
and
sat
down
.
A
slight
contraction
of
her
eyebrows
answered
the
hot
flush
that
leapt
to
the
other
girl
's
face
as
I
refused
her
invitation
,
and
I
saw
Eurydice
resented
the
slight
to
her
friend
.
A
glance
at
the
two
faces
was
enough
to
guide
me
,
and
I
leant
forward
to
the
girl
with
a
smile
.
‘It
is
n't
everyone
who
can
sit
àla
Afghan
with
the
same
grace
and
look
as
graceful
as
you
do.’
The
girl
laughed
and
twitched
round
a
peg
of
the
banjo
.
‘Well
,
take
care
you
do
n't
topple
off
that
tar-barrel
;
that
will
look
less
graceful
still
!
’
she
answered
,
and
there
was
a
general
laugh
.
‘Sing
us
something
else
,
Amy
,
’
Eurydice
said
after
a
minute
.
‘I
've
come
to
the
end
of
my
répertoire
,
’
the
girl
returned
.
‘You
sing
something
,
’
and
she
handed
the
banjo
up
towards
her
companion
,
holding
it
by
the
neck
.
Eurydice
laid
a
white
hand
on
the
silver
edge
of
the
instrument
as
it
touched
her
knees
.
‘I
ca
n't
sing
to
the
banjo
,
’
she
said
,
smiling
.
‘I
would
if
my
guitar
were
here.’
‘Can
I
fetch
it
for
you
?
’
I
said
hastily
.
‘Oh
no
,
I
wo
n't
trouble
you
,
’
she
said
.
The
other
girl
sprang
to
her
feet
.
‘I
'll
go
,
’
she
said
,
‘I
know
where
it
is
,
’
and
she
disappeared
.
It
seemed
quite
natural
that
that
little
girl
should
race
away
to
fetch
the
guitar
while
the
other
leant
back
undisturbed
.
The
men
smoked
in
silence
.
Eurydice
said
nothing
,
and
her
eyes
were
turned
away
from
us
to
the
lustrous
Southern
sky
.
She
was
one
of
those
peculiar
people
who
do
n't
speak
unless
they
have
something
to
say
.
As
for
me
,
I
felt
a
remark
addressed
to
her
ought
to
be
one
really
worth
listening
to
,
and
not
being
prepared
with
one
to
meet
such
an
unusual
requirement
,
I
also
stared
respectfully
at
the
stars
and
said
nothing
.
After
a
few
seconds
the
girl
came
back
with
the
guitar
.
‘Thank
you
so
much
,
dear
,
’
Eurydice
said
,
as
she
took
it
;
and
I
envied
that
girl
as
I
heard
.
There
was
another
interval
while
Eurydice
raised
the
strings
and
tuned
them
;
then
suddenly
,
when
the
whole
was
in
accord
,
she
looked
up
from
the
instrument
.
‘I
do
n't
think
it
's
much
use
my
singing
after
all
,
’
she
said
.
‘It
will
only
depress
you
.
All
my
songs
are
so
melancholy.’
There
was
an
eager
chorus
of
persuasion
.
‘Oh
,
do
,
’
said
the
girl
,
who
had
taken
up
her
position
again
at
the
other
's
feet
.
‘It
wo
n't
depress
us
.
What
does
it
matter
?
—
there
's
nothing
in
a
song.’
Eurydice
said
no
more
.
She
struck
a
few
notes
,
and
I
recognised
the
opening
of
Schubert
's
Adieu
.
A
complete
silence
fell
on
us
.
No
one
stirred
.
The
men
ceased
even
to
smoke
,
and
in
an
absolute
hush
the
first
liquid
notes
of
the
Adieu
came
to
us
,
seeming
to
divide
softly
the
still
dark
air
.
Her
voice
was
incomparable
in
speaking
even
,
and
exercised
a
great
influence
over
me
,
and
now
as
the
stream
of
sound
swelled
from
her
throat
and
flowed
from
her
lips
,
each
delicate
musical
note
seemed
like
a
link
in
a
chain
of
subtle
enchantment
falling
on
me
as
I
heard
‘Farewell
,
thou
waitest
for
me
,
Soon
,
soon
I
shall
depart.’
She
was
singing
with
no
music
,
and
her
gaze
looked
out
straight
before
her
in
the
night
.
As
she
sang
those
words
,
a
tremor
as
of
passionate
agonised
longing
vibrated
through
them
.
They
came
from
her
parted
lips
as
the
restless
sigh
of
a
spirit
longing
to
escape
.
The
long-drawn
sorrowful
notes
,
and
the
indefinable
accent
of
sadness
she
weighted
them
with
,
went
down
the
length
of
the
ship
,
and
slowly
from
all
parts
of
it
the
passengers
gathered
silently
and
pressed
round
in
a
circle
to
listen
.
Glancing
round
at
the
end
of
the
first
verse
,
I
saw
our
little
group
was
surrounded
by
a
ring
of
eager
hearers
.
As
the
last
note
of
the
voice
died
,
no
one
stirred
or
spoke
;
the
sobbing
accompaniment
of
the
guitar
was
the
only
sound
.
Eurydice
,
evidently
absolutely
oblivious
of
her
audience
,
absorbed
in
the
rapt
enthusiasm
of
the
song
,
played
on
that
marvellous
music
of
Schubert
that
represents
so
exactly
the
convulsive
sobs
,
the
falling
tears
of
the
lover
at
the
death-bed
of
his
love
.
And
Eurydice
played
it
,
with
the
strings
thrilling
and
quivering
under
her
passionate
touch
till
the
sense
of
music
was
lost
,
and
only
the
great
agonised
sobs
of
a
breaking
human
heart
seemed
throbbing
through
the
night
.
The
crowd
stood
motionless
,
breathless
,
as
one
man
.
Every
face
was
pale
,
Eurydice
's
own
was
blanched
to
the
tint
of
death
,
her
throat
and
bosom
heaving
,
her
eyes
swimming
in
tears
as
she
raised
them
towards
the
East
to
commence
the
last
verse
.
‘Farewell
until
the
dawning
of
the
Eternal
Day.’
There
was
no
tremor
now
in
the
perfect
voice
:
it
welled
upwards
in
a
strain
of
ecstatic
triumph
,
growing
louder
and
clearer
in
a
rapture
of
Faith
,
then
it
sank
slowly
with
the
words
‘The
day
that
shall
re-unite
me
For
ever
unto
thee
,
’
with
an
infinite
resignation
in
its
tone
,
and
the
last
line
came
softly
to
us
as
a
mere
breath
,
a
sigh
of
tenderness
,
dying
in
its
own
measureless
sadness
.
For
some
minutes
there
was
no
sound
or
movement
amongst
her
audience
,
then
everybody
drew
a
long
breath
,
and
Eurydice
herself
started
up
with
a
smile
,
and
the
tears
glisten
ing
on
her
cheeks
.
‘A
most
artistic
performance
!
’
said
a
man
next
me
.
The
others
clapped
enthusiastically
.
Eurydice
holding
the
guitar
,
tried
to
see
an
exit
,
but
she
was
completely
closed
in
by
an
admiring
circle
.
‘Oh
do
grant
us
another.’
‘Oh
do
sing
once
more.’
But
Eurydice
was
immovable
.
‘No
,
I
ca
n't
,
really
,
’
she
said
smiling
,
in
answer
,
and
then
,
as
they
pressed
further
—
‘I
ca
n't
;
I
'm
not
up
to
it.’
I
looked
keenly
at
her
as
I
heard
,
and
I
saw
it
was
the
simple
truth
:
her
slight
hand
quivered
nervously
on
the
neck
of
the
guitar
and
the
other
arm
that
hung
at
her
side
trembled
visibly
;
her
face
had
not
recovered
its
natural
colouring
.
Conventional
expressions
of
regret
on
all
sides
followed
this
statement
,
soothing
murmurs
of
admiration
and
sympathy
circulated
round
her
,
and
the
groups
of
men
reluctantly
parted
and
made
way
for
her
to
pass
through
them
.
I
said
nothing
nor
stirred
from
my
original
position
,
but
I
rose
as
she
passed
and
looked
at
her
,
and
our
glance
met
for
a
second
.
‘I
am
so
glad
you
liked
it
,
’
she
said
with
a
smile
,
answering
my
eyes
.
The
little
girl
with
the
banjo
followed
her
,
and
the
two
women
disappeared
.
‘Remarkably
fine
voice
,
so
flexible.’
‘Yes
,
she
's
a
thorough
artist
too.’
‘She
rather
overstrained
herself.’
‘Who
is
she
?
’
‘She
joined
the
ship
at
Aden
...
.’
I
walked
away
,
disliking
to
hear
her
commented
upon
,
and
made
my
way
to
another
part
of
the
ship
and
sat
down
in
an
ownerless
deck-chair
close
to
the
bulwarks
.
I
leant
back
,
the
Adieu
still
ringing
in
my
ears
,
those
sobbing
notes
still
beating
through
my
brain
,
and
the
delicate
,
finely
cut
scarlet
lips
that
had
uttered
them
still
before
my
vision
.
It
was
not
long
before
Dickinson
found
me
out
.
He
came
sauntering
up
with
his
hands
in
his
pockets
and
a
cigarette
in
his
teeth
.
‘So
there
you
are
,
’
he
exclaimed
.
‘When
you
disappeared
,
I
thought
you
were
overcome
with
your
feelings
.
I
rushed
down
to
your
cabin
with
a
smelling-bottle
and
Miss
Williamson
's
eau
de
cologne
to
revive
you.’
‘Not
quite
so
bad
as
that
,
’
I
answered
idly
.
‘Everybody
's
cleared
off
now
,
’
he
remarked
;
‘come
and
take
a
turn
round
.
I
find
one
gets
confoundedly
little
exercise
on
board
ship.’
I
got
up
and
lighted
a
cigar
and
joined
him
.
‘Do
you
know
,
I
always
thought
it
impossible
I
should
marry
,
’
I
said
as
we
walked
along
the
silent
,
deserted
deck
.
‘I
always
hated
the
idea
;
I
never
could
understand
how
men
could
...
but
I
believe
I
do
understand
now.’
‘And
the
charming
Dicey
has
helped
to
enlighten
you
I
suppose
?
’
answered
Dickinson
mockingly
.
‘Well
,
it
is
very
odd
,
’
I
said
,
following
up
the
thread
of
my
own
reflections
,
and
indifferent
to
his
chaff
.
‘Of
all
the
women
I
've
known
,
admired
,
even
loved
,
I
suppose
in
a
way
,
there
has
not
been
one
who
has
not
caused
me
a
shudder
when
I
've
imagined
her
just
for
an
instant
as
my
wife
,
boxed
up
with
me
in
perpetuity
,
not
one
...
until
now.’
‘And
you
mean
this
,
what
's
her
name
,
Eurydice
is
the
one
whom
you
'd
rather
fancy
in
the
position
?
’
‘Oh
,
I
do
n't
know
that
I
go
as
far
as
that
,
but
she
's
certainly
totally
different
from
any
other
woman
I
've
ever
met
.
I
mean
I
can
imagine
her
carrying
a
man
away
into
any
folly
—
even
marriage.’
‘Yes
.
She
is
a
divine
creation
,
I
admit
,
most
impressive
and
very
nice
at
a
safe
distance
,
but
do
you
know
I
think
she
'd
be
rather
an
awful
sort
of
person
to
marry
!
Fancy
coming
home
late
,
drunk
,
and
seeing
her
sitting
waiting
for
one
with
that
marble
face
and
those
level
eyebrows.’
‘Well
,
’
I
answered
with
a
quick
flush
of
pleasure
as
a
vision
of
her
,
so
waiting
,
and
rising
with
soft
arms
outstretched
in
greeting
,
formed
itself
before
me
at
his
words
.
‘But
it
is
n't
everyone
who
wants
to
come
home
late
,
drunk.’
Dickinson
laughed
good-naturedly
.
‘Quite
right
,
old
man
,
it
is
n't
.
I
daresay
she
'd
do
all
right
for
you
;
the
little
one
is
more
my
style
,
she
's
a
touch
of
the
barmaid
about
her
:
keep
you
cheerful.’
‘But
we
were
talking
about
marriage
,
’
I
persisted
.
‘Surely
when
one
marries
one
does
not
want
a
repetition
of
the
women
one
may
have
known
before
marriage
?
’
‘Yes
,
I
should
,
’
observed
Dickinson
sententiously
.
‘I
like
what
I
am
accustomed
to.’
‘Oh
,
of
course
,
if
you
do
!
’
I
rejoined
,
with
a
shrug
of
my
shoulders
.
‘I
should
prefer
a
change.’
‘You
'll
certainly
get
it
,
’
laughed
Dickinson
,
‘out
of
Miss
Williamson
.
I
should
say
she
's
unique.’
I
stopped
and
leant
over
the
bulwarks
,
looking
through
the
violet
darkness
of
the
night
,
and
Dickinson
paused
beside
me
,
kicking
the
lowest
iron
rail
with
his
foot
.
‘I
say
,
I
find
it
's
getting
rather
chilly
!
Do
n't
you
think
the
smoking-room
would
be
an
improvement
?
’
I
did
not
think
it
would
,
and
said
so
.
‘I
see
you
are
determined
on
doing
the
sentimental
,
so
I
wo
n't
stay
and
disturb
you
,
’
and
he
strolled
away
down
towards
the
saloon
.
I
leant
there
thinking
;
perhaps
I
was
in
a
sentimental
mood
.
At
any
rate
I
felt
no
inclination
to
sleep
,
if
that
is
any
sign
of
it
,
and
I
was
indifferent
to
the
chilliness
of
the
air
,
though
the
coldest
hour
of
the
night
was
approaching
.
I
felt
the
night
dew
lying
thickly
on
the
bulwarks
,
and
my
own
clothes
were
wet
with
it
.
I
was
thinking
of
Dickinson
's
words
,
‘she
's
unique.’
Certainly
she
was
different
,
incomparably
different
,
from
every
other
woman
I
had
met
,
and
her
influence
upon
me
different
from
that
which
any
other
woman
had
possessed
over
me
,
and
I
asked
myself
with
a
half-mocking
smile
,
‘Was
she
,
’
perhaps
in
accordance
with
the
theory
of
the
greatest
writer
upon
love
in
all
the
ages
,
‘the
missing
portion
of
my
own
broken
and
incomplete
being
,
that
craved
to
recover
her
and
take
her
again
to
itself
and
to
restore
its
wholeness
and
entirety
?
’
As
I
stood
there
balancing
idly
with
myself
questions
to
which
the
human
brain
is
inexorably
forbidden
to
supply
the
answer
,
faint
,
broken
shafts
of
light
began
to
tremble
above
the
dark
line
of
the
horizon
in
the
East
,
and
I
turned
to
it
to
watch
with
curious
eyes
the
rising
of
the
Young
Day
.
Slowly
the
overhanging
blackness
of
the
night
and
the
reflected
blackness
of
the
sea
lightened
,
and
the
whole
darkness
of
the
sky
at
the
first
touch
of
dawn
seemed
to
quiver
even
as
a
great
curtain
grasped
by
some
vast
,
withdrawing
hand
.
Slowly
,
imperceptibly
,
with
invisibly
vanishing
folds
,
the
veil
was
gathered
back
,
and
the
shadowy
surface
of
the
wide
,
dim
mirror
of
the
sea
gleamed
faintly
with
translucent
,
opaline
,
tints
of
grey
.
Then
,
suddenly
,
as
swords
flashed
from
their
sheaths
,
shot
up
three
bars
of
crimson
light
obliquely
from
the
dark
sea
line
to
the
empyrean
,
transforming
the
uncertain
,
trembling
pallor
and
shades
of
the
water
into
one
soft
,
subtle
mysterious
harmony
of
mauve
.
Smooth
,
almost
motionless
,
the
sea
lay
,
yet
swelling
,
palpitating
gently
,
trembling
and
blushing
under
the
caresses
of
the
Dawn
.
For
some
moments
,
the
water
stretched
,
a
glimmering
circle
of
violet
to
the
horizon
,
then
,
unhesitatingly
,
triumphantly
,
with
overpowering
sovereignty
,
the
great
Day
rose
in
its
mantle
of
clear
light
.
The
purples
and
the
shadows
fled
,
the
wavering
tints
and
shades
vanished
into
one
brilliance
of
purest
gold
,
the
sea
seemed
to
laugh
openly
as
the
fresh
day
breeze
swept
over
it
.
Small
crests
of
white
foam
leapt
up
and
smiling
dimples
and
hollows
sparkled
between
.
The
subdued
and
tender
sadness
,
the
ever
marvellous
mystery
of
the
dawn
was
past
.
It
was
glad
,
joyous
,
certain
Morning
that
smiled
now
upon
the
sea
.
I
raised
my
arms
from
the
railing
and
turned
to
go
down
to
my
cabin
,
a
confident
gladness
in
my
heart
.
Full
of
human
egoism
,
I
felt
vaguely
as
if
this
heavenly
awakening
was
typical
of
the
dawn
of
a
new
era
in
my
life
.
CHAPTER
II
A
WEEK
had
gone
by
,
and
day
by
day
Eurydice
and
I
had
sat
side
by
side
on
the
deck
talking
;
in
the
morning
with
the
sun
beating
fiercely
on
the
awning
,
in
the
afternoon
with
its
rich
,
yellow
glare
thrown
back
from
the
water
,
in
the
evening
with
the
cool
,
faint
moonlight
falling
on
us
,
and
at
night
when
the
moon
had
disappeared
,
under
the
steady
glow
of
the
stars
.
Two
philosophers
in
ancient
Athens
could
hardly
have
discoursed
more
indefatigably
in
one
of
their
covered
walks
than
she
and
I
upon
that
covered
deck
.
The
great
charm
of
these
conversations
was
their
pure
impersonality
.
We
discussed
anything
and
everything
except
ourselves
,
our
lives
,
or
our
experiences
;
and
this
fact
set
our
conversation
on
a
different
level
from
any
I
had
held
before
.
We
were
nothing
while
we
talked
,
our
opinions
,
theories
,
arguments
,
were
everything
.
We
were
like
parents
losing
themselves
in
the
identity
of
their
children
.
And
this
sort
of
talk
,
this
mental
contact
with
a
mind
like
Eurydice
's
,
was
a
novel
and
delightful
experience
for
me
.
She
was
clever
,
with
a
tremendous
power
for
thought
in
her
brain
and
a
peculiar
gift
for
its
expression
on
her
lips
,
and
her
influence
on
my
own
intellect
was
very
great
.
She
roused
it
from
the
apathy
into
which
it
had
sunk
during
six
years
of
the
empty
,
frivolous
life
of
an
army
man
in
India
.
When
with
her
,
those
six
years
seemed
taken
off
my
life
.
She
seemed
to
reinfuse
through
my
brain
the
vigour
it
had
had
at
six-and-twenty
.
And
her
influence
on
my
moral
being
was
as
great
.
In
every
word
,
in
every
sentence
she
uttered
,
in
the
whole
length
of
those
dispassionate
conversations
we
had
,
there
was
gradually
unfolded
before
me
the
beauty
of
an
elevated
,
and
yet
extremely
sympathetic
character
,
and
all
the
better
part
of
my
own
was
drawn
irresistibly
towards
it
.
Going
back
to
my
cabin
from
where
we
had
been
sitting
forward
,
on
this
seventh
night
of
our
acquaintance
,
I
knew
that
I
loved
her
,
and
loved
her
with
the
best
and
noblest
love
one
human
being
can
feel
for
another
,
the
love
that
has
its
roots
in
reverence
and
its
fruits
in
devotion
,
—
the
love
that
thinks
only
of
the
object
,
and
will
deny
its
own
to
gain
its
idol
's
pleasure
.
To
her
I
would
dedicate
my
life
,
if
she
would
accept
the
dedication
,
and
I
thought
of
it
with
the
passionate
enthusiasm
of
youth
,
with
the
ardour
of
self-devotion
and
worship
that
is
an
innate
though
hidden
trait
of
human
nature
.
Hidden
,
little
seen
perhaps
,
because
so
rarely
is
the
worthy
object
for
worship
found
.
Seven
days
!
Not
long
a
time
in
which
to
know
and
judge
another
,
but
I
was
satisfied
.
Every
instinct
,
every
voice
within
me
,
told
me
this
was
a
woman
not
merely
that
I
could
love
but
one
that
I
could
worship
.
And
I
believed
that
she
would
accept
both
love
and
worship
from
me
.
I
believed
she
was
drawn
to
me
as
I
to
her
with
a
strong
inclination
that
I
would
set
myself
to
turn
into
love
.
I
was
over
thirty
,
but
I
felt
less
than
twenty
that
night
as
I
walked
back
to
my
cabin
thinking
of
her
with
the
first
fresh
light
of
Love
breaking
into
my
life
.
The
following
evening
after
dinner
,
I
went
to
find
her
as
usual
,
but
,
for
the
first
time
,
with
an
uncertain
tremor
of
feeling
,
because
for
the
first
time
a
personal
prayer
was
on
my
lips
.
I
went
slowly
along
the
deck
.
The
boards
were
steady
and
level
as
the
boards
of
a
ballroom
.
The
night
was
dark
but
breathless
;
the
sea
gleamed
,
smooth
and
almost
motionless
,
on
either
side
,
just
faintly
rising
and
swelling
like
the
bosom
of
a
woman
asleep
.
Ahead
of
me
,
rose
the
masts
with
their
intricate
masses
of
rigging
spun
like
a
gigantic
web
across
the
star-spangled
sky
,
and
halfway
up
the
mast
swung
an
electric
light
,
pouring
a
shower
of
tremulous
transverse
rays
through
the
cordage
.
Beneath
it
,
in
the
full
flood
of
light
,
that
seemed
to
descend
upon
her
like
a
mantle
of
silver
,
she
was
sitting
idly
.
There
were
a
good
many
other
passengers
on
the
deck
,
the
majority
strolling
up
and
down
in
twos
and
twos
,
some
sitting
at
small
deck
tables
playing
cards
or
chess
.
A
group
of
well-dressed
girls
,
surrounded
with
a
semicircle
of
young
men
on
chairs
,
were
sitting
smoking
and
drinking
at
the
far
end
in
the
shadow
,
their
thin
laughter
diffused
with
their
cigarette
smoke
in
the
warm
,
languid
air
.
She
,
the
handsomest
woman
on
board
,
sat
idle
,
silent
,
and
alone
.
Instinctively
my
feet
quickened
.
She
looked
up
as
I
approached
with
a
slow
soft
smile
that
struck
me
vaguely
as
the
most
sad
that
I
had
seen
yet
upon
her
face
.
My
own
heart
beat
as
I
met
it
,
for
a
second
my
voice
died
,
dried
,
suffocated
in
my
throat
.
‘How
long
you
have
been
!
’
she
murmured
with
the
smile
still
on
her
mouth
,
and
the
low
tone
seemed
like
a
sigh
on
the
night
air
.
Fire
,
not
blood
,
seemed
rushing
through
my
veins
.
I
looked
round
,
guided
by
some
serviceable
mechanical
instinct
,
and
drew
a
chair
close
beside
and
parallel
to
hers
,
and
threw
myself
into
it
.
Thus
we
were
screened
from
view
by
the
mast
and
some
vacant
chairs
that
had
been
piled
against
it
.
I
looked
at
her
,
looked
at
the
leant-back
head
with
its
weight
of
brilliant
hair
,
turned
just
so
much
towards
me
as
to
suggest
a
faint
longing
to
rest
near
mine
,
at
the
line
of
the
nostril
,
slightly
dilated
,
at
the
trembling
lashes
,
and
the
pallor
of
the
delicious
throat
with
the
uncertain
light
playing
over
it
.
No
word
was
said
,
but
on
the
bare
arm
that
lay
along
the
chair-rest
by
mine
,
I
laid
my
hand
.
‘Have
you
been
waiting
for
me
?
’
I
said
.
‘Yes
,
’
came
back
as
a
breath
,
from
her
lips
that
hardly
parted
to
say
it
.
That
one
moment
when
this
soft
,
weak
word
came
to
my
ears
was
perhaps
the
supremest
of
unmixed
joy
in
my
life
.
For
that
single
instant
the
promise
of
pleasure
shone
out
clear
and
distinct
,
denuded
of
its
inexorable
pains
and
penalties
and
fetters
.
The
future
and
the
past
were
obliterated
,
mere
blots
,
that
single
point
of
time
enclosed
nothing
but
the
spontaneous
irresponsible
delight
of
nature
.
Swayed
and
dominated
by
it
,
and
passionately
conscious
of
her
presence
,
her
proximity
,
her
vitality
,
her
personality
,
and
oblivious
of
all
else
,
I
leant
my
elbow
on
her
chair
.
‘And
now
dearest
,
I
am
here.’
I
felt
her
arm
glow
and
quiver
suddenly
under
my
fingers
.
A
sudden
relaxation
,
like
the
loosening
of
a
musical
string
,
passed
through
her
form
,
almost
a
collapse
,
and
the
lovely
head
turned
from
me
.
‘Pray
do
n't
,
’
she
murmured
,
and
the
voice
seemed
suffocated
with
suppressed
tears
.
Blinded
and
confused
with
my
own
feelings
,
and
lost
in
my
own
sense
of
triumphant
satisfaction
,
I
hardly
was
conscious
of
surprise
or
wonder
,
and
I
answered
half
jestingly
:
‘Why
do
you
turn
away
?
Love
always
pursues
a
fugitive.’
That
word
seemed
to
break
some
bond
that
had
been
holding
her
.
She
started
and
sat
upright
,
throwing
my
hand
from
her
arm
,
and
turned
her
face
to
me
.
It
was
deathlike
,
and
in
the
steel-coloured
,
wavering
light
,
her
eyes
blazed
upon
me
through
the
crowding
tears
.
‘How
can
you
say
that
word
to
me
?
’
I
was
dismayed
and
startled
.
I
looked
back
at
her
,
not
knowing
what
her
meaning
was
.
Then
as
a
half-drunken
man
,
when
called
to
account
,
confusedly
recalls
his
words
,
not
because
he
sees
their
folly
,
but
because
he
dimly
knows
his
power
of
judgment
is
gone
,
I
suddenly
mistrusted
what
I
had
said
,
what
I
had
intimated
,
what
my
glance
had
been
in
that
first
great
impulse
of
passion
.
Intoxicated
still
,
and
not
thinking
clearly
,
I
felt
she
thought
in
some
way
her
dignity
offended
,
and
I
said
hurriedly
:
‘Why
,
when
we
were
saying
yesterday
there
was
nothing
so
divine
as
married
love
?
’
‘But
,
’
and
her
voice
was
breathless
,
the
one
sentence
seemed
to
break
from
her
beating
breast
painfully
as
if
she
had
been
stabbed
there
.
‘You
must
know
...
I
am
married.’
There
was
silence
.
An
unbreakable
silence
in
which
we
sat
motionless
,
almost
breathless
,
facing
each
other
,
staring
at
each
other
,
—
our
gaze
locked
in
each
other
's
.
In
me
the
power
to
move
or
speak
was
killed
.
The
very
life
seemed
suspended
in
me
.
Married
!
That
strained
whisper
had
reached
my
brain
and
paralysed
it
.
The
word
