woman.
“
Yes
sir
,
I
think
I
can
find
one
,
”
replied
the
woman
,
bustling
immediately
to
a
basket
.
“
This
is
the
only
one
I’ve
got
,
if
it
will
do
.
”
Hermione
took
it
,
though
it
was
offered
to
him
.
“
Thank
you
so
much
,
”
she
said
.
“
It
will
do
very
nicely
.
Thank
you
so
much
.
”
Then
she
turned
to
Birkin
,
saying
with
a
little
gay
movement
:
“
Shall
we
do
it
now
,
Rupert
?
”
“
What
about
the
others
,
they’ll
be
bored
,
”
he
said
reluctantly
.
“
Do
you
mind
?
”
said
Hermione
,
turning
to
Ursula
and
Gerald
vaguely
.
“
Not
in
the
least
,
”
they
replied
.
“
Which
room
shall
we
do
first
?
”
she
said
,
turning
again
to
Birkin
,
with
the
same
gaiety
,
now
she
was
going
to
do
something
with
him
.
“
We’ll
take
them
as
they
come
,
”
he
said
.
“
Should
I
be
getting
your
teas
ready
,
while
you
do
that
?
”
said
the
labourer’s
wife
,
also
gay
because
she
had
something
to
do
.
“
Would
you
?
”
said
Hermione
,
turning
to
her
with
the
curious
motion
of
intimacy
that
seemed
to
envelop
the
woman
,
draw
her
almost
to
Hermione’s
breast
,
and
which
left
the
others
standing
apart
.
“
I
should
be
so
glad
.
Where
shall
we
have
it
?
”
“
Where
would
you
like
it
?
Shall
it
be
in
here
,
or
out
on
the
grass
?
”
“
Where
shall
we
have
tea
?
”
sang
Hermione
to
the
company
at
large
.
“
On
the
bank
by
the
pond
.
And
we’ll
carry
the
things
up
,
if
you’ll
just
get
them
ready
,
Mrs
Salmon
,
”
said
Birkin
.
“
All
right
,
”
said
the
pleased
woman
.
The
party
moved
down
the
passage
into
the
front
room
.
It
was
empty
,
but
clean
and
sunny
.
There
was
a
window
looking
on
to
the
tangled
front
garden
.
“
This
is
the
dining-room
,
”
said
Hermione
.
“
We’ll
measure
it
this
way
,
Rupert
—
you
go
down
there
—
”
“
Can’t
I
do
it
for
you
,
”
said
Gerald
,
coming
to
take
the
end
of
the
tape
.
“
No
,
thank
you
,
”
cried
Hermione
,
stooping
to
the
ground
in
her
bluish
,
brilliant
foulard
.
It
was
a
great
joy
to
her
to
do
things
,
and
to
have
the
ordering
of
the
job
,
with
Birkin
.
He
obeyed
her
subduedly
.
Ursula
and
Gerald
looked
on
.
It
was
a
peculiarity
of
Hermione’s
,
that
at
every
moment
,
she
had
one
intimate
,
and
turned
all
the
rest
of
those
present
into
onlookers
.
This
raised
her
into
a
state
of
triumph
.
They
measured
and
discussed
in
the
dining-room
,
and
Hermione
decided
what
the
floor
coverings
must
be
.
It
sent
her
into
a
strange
,
convulsed
anger
,
to
be
thwarted
.
Birkin
always
let
her
have
her
way
,
for
the
moment
.
Then
they
moved
across
,
through
the
hall
,
to
the
other
front
room
,
that
was
a
little
smaller
than
the
first
.
“
This
is
the
study
,
”
said
Hermione
.
“
Rupert
,
I
have
a
rug
that
I
want
you
to
have
for
here
.
Will
you
let
me
give
it
to
you
?
Do
—
I
want
to
give
it
you
.
”
“
What
is
it
like
?
”
he
asked
ungraciously
.
“
You
haven’t
seen
it
.
It
is
chiefly
rose
red
,
then
blue
,
a
metallic
,
mid-blue
,
and
a
very
soft
dark
blue
.
I
think
you
would
like
it
.
Do
you
think
you
would
?
”
“
It
sounds
very
nice
,
”
he
replied
.
“
What
is
it
?
Oriental
?
With
a
pile
?
”
“
Yes
.
Persian
!
It
is
made
of
camel’s
hair
,
silky
.
I
think
it
is
called
Bergamos
—
twelve
feet
by
seven
—
.
Do
you
think
it
will
do
?
”
“
It
would
do
,
”
he
said
.
“
But
why
should
you
give
me
an
expensive
rug
?
I
can
manage
perfectly
well
with
my
old
Oxford
Turkish
.
”
“
But
may
I
give
it
to
you
?
Do
let
me
.
”
“
How
much
did
it
cost
?
”
She
looked
at
him
,
and
said
:
“
I
don’t
remember
.
It
was
quite
cheap
.
”
He
looked
at
her
,
his
face
set
.
“
I
don’t
want
to
take
it
,
Hermione
,
”
he
said
.
“
Do
let
me
give
it
to
the
rooms
,
”
she
said
,
going
up
to
him
and
putting
her
hand
on
his
arm
lightly
,
pleadingly
.
“
I
shall
be
so
disappointed
.
”
“
You
know
I
don’t
want
you
to
give
me
things
,
”
he
repeated
helplessly
.
“
I
don’t
want
to
give
you
things
,
”
she
said
teasingly
.
“
But
will
you
have
this
?
”
“
All
right
,
”
he
said
,
defeated
,
and
she
triumphed
.
They
went
upstairs
.
There
were
two
bedrooms
to
correspond
with
the
rooms
downstairs
.
One
of
them
was
half
furnished
,
and
Birkin
had
evidently
slept
there
.
Hermione
went
round
the
room
carefully
,
taking
in
every
detail
,
as
if
absorbing
the
evidence
of
his
presence
,
in
all
the
inanimate
things
.
She
felt
the
bed
and
examined
the
coverings
.
“
Are
you
sure
you
were
quite
comfortable
?
”
she
said
,
pressing
the
pillow
.
“
Perfectly
,
”
he
replied
coldly
.
“
And
were
you
warm
?
There
is
no
down
quilt
.
I
am
sure
you
need
one
.
You
mustn’t
have
a
great
pressure
of
clothes
.
”
“
I’ve
got
one
,
”
he
said
.
“
It
is
coming
down
.
”
They
measured
the
rooms
,
and
lingered
over
every
consideration
.
Ursula
stood
at
the
window
and
watched
the
woman
carrying
the
tea
up
the
bank
to
the
pond
.
She
hated
the
palaver
Hermione
made
,
she
wanted
to
drink
tea
,
she
wanted
anything
but
this
fuss
and
business
.
At
last
they
all
mounted
the
grassy
bank
,
to
the
picnic
.
Hermione
poured
out
tea
.
She
ignored
now
Ursula’s
presence
.
And
Ursula
,
recovering
from
her
ill-humour
,
turned
to
Gerald
saying
:
“
Oh
,
I
hated
you
so
much
the
other
day
,
Mr
Crich
,
”
“
What
for
?
”
said
Gerald
,
wincing
slightly
away
.
“
For
treating
your
horse
so
badly
.
Oh
,
I
hated
you
so
much
!
”
“
What
did
he
do
?
”
sang
Hermione
.
“
He
made
his
lovely
sensitive
Arab
horse
stand
with
him
at
the
railway-crossing
whilst
a
horrible
lot
of
trucks
went
by
;
and
the
poor
thing
,
she
was
in
a
perfect
frenzy
,
a
perfect
agony
.
It
was
the
most
horrible
sight
you
can
imagine
.
”
“
Why
did
you
do
it
,
Gerald
?
”
asked
Hermione
,
calm
and
interrogative
.
“
She
must
learn
to
stand
—
what
use
is
she
to
me
in
this
country
,
if
she
shies
and
goes
off
every
time
an
engine
whistles
.
”
“
But
why
inflict
unnecessary
torture
?
”
said
Ursula
.
“
Why
make
her
stand
all
that
time
at
the
crossing
?
You
might
just
as
well
have
ridden
back
up
the
road
,
and
saved
all
that
horror
.
Her
sides
were
bleeding
where
you
had
spurred
her
.
It
was
too
horrible
—
!
”
Gerald
stiffened
.
“
I
have
to
use
her
,
”
he
replied
.
“
And
if
I’m
going
to
be
sure
of
her
at
all
,
she’ll
have
to
learn
to
stand
noises
.
”
“
Why
should
she
?
”
cried
Ursula
in
a
passion
.
“
She
is
a
living
creature
,
why
should
she
stand
anything
,
just
because
you
choose
to
make
her
?
She
has
as
much
right
to
her
own
being
,
as
you
have
to
yours
.
”
“
There
I
disagree
,
”
said
Gerald
.
“
I
consider
that
mare
is
there
for
my
use
.
Not
because
I
bought
her
,
but
because
that
is
the
natural
order
.
It
is
more
natural
for
a
man
to
take
a
horse
and
use
it
as
he
likes
,
than
for
him
to
go
down
on
his
knees
to
it
,
begging
it
to
do
as
it
wishes
,
and
to
fulfil
its
own
marvellous
nature
.
”
Ursula
was
just
breaking
out
,
when
Hermione
lifted
her
face
and
began
,
in
her
musing
sing-song
:
“
I
do
think
—
I
do
really
think
we
must
have
the
courage
to
use
the
lower
animal
life
for
our
needs
.
I
do
think
there
is
something
wrong
,
when
we
look
on
every
living
creature
as
if
it
were
ourselves
.
I
do
feel
,
that
it
is
false
to
project
our
own
feelings
on
every
animate
creature
.
It
is
a
lack
of
discrimination
,
a
lack
of
criticism
.
”
“
Quite
,
”
said
Birkin
sharply
.
“
Nothing
is
so
detestable
as
the
maudlin
attributing
of
human
feelings
and
consciousness
to
animals
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
said
Hermione
,
wearily
,
“
we
must
really
take
a
position
.
Either
we
are
going
to
use
the
animals
,
or
they
will
use
us
.
”
“
That’s
a
fact
,
”
said
Gerald
.
“
A
horse
has
got
a
will
like
a
man
,
though
it
has
no
mind
strictly
.
And
if
your
will
isn’t
master
,
then
the
horse
is
master
of
you
.
And
this
is
a
thing
I
can’t
help
.
I
can’t
help
being
master
of
the
horse
.
”
“
If
only
we
could
learn
how
to
use
our
will
,
”
said
Hermione
,
“
we
could
do
anything
.
The
will
can
cure
anything
,
and
put
anything
right
.
That
I
am
convinced
of
—
if
only
we
use
the
will
properly
,
intelligibly
.
”
“
What
do
you
mean
by
using
the
will
properly
?
”
said
Birkin
.
“
A
very
great
doctor
taught
me
,
”
she
said
,
addressing
Ursula
and
Gerald
vaguely
.
“
He
told
me
for
instance
,
that
to
cure
oneself
of
a
bad
habit
,
one
should
force
oneself
to
do
it
,
when
one
would
not
do
it
—
make
oneself
do
it
—
and
then
the
habit
would
disappear
.
”
“
How
do
you
mean
?
”
said
Gerald
.
“
If
you
bite
your
nails
,
for
example
.
Then
,
when
you
don’t
want
to
bite
your
nails
,
bite
them
,
make
yourself
bite
them
.
And
you
would
find
the
habit
was
broken
.
”
“
Is
that
so
?
”
said
Gerald
.
“
Yes
.
And
in
so
many
things
,
I
have
made
myself
well
.
I
was
a
very
queer
and
nervous
girl
.
And
by
learning
to
use
my
will
,
simply
by
using
my
will
,
I
made
myself
right
.
”
Ursula
looked
all
the
while
at
Hermione
,
as
she
spoke
in
her
slow
,
dispassionate
,
and
yet
strangely
tense
voice
.
A
curious
thrill
went
over
the
younger
woman
.
Some
strange
,
dark
,
convulsive
power
was
in
Hermione
,
fascinating
and
repelling
.
“
It
is
fatal
to
use
the
will
like
that
,
”
cried
Birkin
harshly
,
“
disgusting
.
Such
a
will
is
an
obscenity
.
”
Hermione
looked
at
him
for
a
long
time
,
with
her
shadowed
,
heavy
eyes
.
Her
face
was
soft
and
pale
and
thin
,
almost
phosphorescent
,
her
jaw
was
lean
.
“
I’m
sure
it
isn’t
,
”
she
said
at
length
.
There
always
seemed
an
interval
,
a
strange
split
between
what
she
seemed
to
feel
and
experience
,
and
what
she
actually
said
and
thought
.
She
seemed
to
catch
her
thoughts
at
length
from
off
the
surface
of
a
maelstrom
of
chaotic
black
emotions
and
reactions
,
and
Birkin
was
always
filled
with
repulsion
,
she
caught
so
infallibly
,
her
will
never
failed
her
.
Her
voice
was
always
dispassionate
and
tense
,
and
perfectly
confident
.
Yet
she
shuddered
with
a
sense
of
nausea
,
a
sort
of
seasickness
that
always
threatened
to
overwhelm
her
mind
.
But
her
mind
remained
unbroken
,
her
will
was
still
perfect
.
It
almost
sent
Birkin
mad
.
But
he
would
never
,
never
dare
to
break
her
will
,
and
let
loose
the
maelstrom
of
her
subconsciousness
,
and
see
her
in
her
ultimate
madness
.
Yet
he
was
always
striking
at
her
.
“
And
of
course
,
”
he
said
to
Gerald
,
“
horses
haven’t
got
a
complete
will
,
like
human
beings
.
A
horse
has
no
one
will
.
Every
horse
,
strictly
,
has
two
wills
.
With
one
will
,
it
wants
to
put
itself
in
the
human
power
completely
—
and
with
the
other
,
it
wants
to
be
free
,
wild
.
The
two
wills
sometimes
lock
—
you
know
that
,
if
ever
you’ve
felt
a
horse
bolt
,
while
you’ve
been
driving
it
.
”
“
I
have
felt
a
horse
bolt
while
I
was
driving
it
,
”
said
Gerald
,
“
but
it
didn’t
make
me
know
it
had
two
wills
.
I
only
knew
it
was
frightened
.
”
Hermione
had
ceased
to
listen
.
She
simply
became
oblivious
when
these
subjects
were
started
.
“
Why
should
a
horse
want
to
put
itself
in
the
human
power
?
”
asked
Ursula
.
“
That
is
quite
incomprehensible
to
me
.
I
don’t
believe
it
ever
wanted
it
.
”
“
Yes
it
did
.
It’s
the
last
,
perhaps
highest
,
love-impulse
:
resign
your
will
to
the
higher
being
,
”
said
Birkin
.
“
What
curious
notions
you
have
of
love
,
”
jeered
Ursula
.
“
And
woman
is
the
same
as
horses
:
two
wills
act
in
opposition
inside
her
.
With
one
will
,
she
wants
to
subject
herself
utterly
.
With
the
other
she
wants
to
bolt
,
and
pitch
her
rider
to
perdition
.
”
“
Then
I’m
a
bolter
,
”
said
Ursula
,
with
a
burst
of
laughter
.
“
It’s
a
dangerous
thing
to
domesticate
even
horses
,
let
alone
women
,
”
said
Birkin
.
“
The
dominant
principle
has
some
rare
antagonists
.
”
“
Good
thing
too
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
Quite
,
”
said
Gerald
,
with
a
faint
smile
.
“
There’s
more
fun
.
”
Hermione
could
bear
no
more
.
She
rose
,
saying
in
her
easy
sing-song
:
“
Isn’t
the
evening
beautiful
!
I
get
filled
sometimes
with
such
a
great
sense
of
beauty
,
that
I
feel
I
can
hardly
bear
it
.
”
Ursula
,
to
whom
she
had
appealed
,
rose
with
her
,
moved
to
the
last
impersonal
depths
.
And
Birkin
seemed
to
her
almost
a
monster
of
hateful
arrogance
.
She
went
with
Hermione
along
the
bank
of
the
pond
,
talking
of
beautiful
,
soothing
things
,
picking
the
gentle
cowslips
.
“
Wouldn’t
you
like
a
dress
,
”
said
Ursula
to
Hermione
,
“
of
this
yellow
spotted
with
orange
—
a
cotton
dress
?
”
“
Yes
,
”
said
Hermione
,
stopping
and
looking
at
the
flower
,
letting
the
thought
come
home
to
her
and
soothe
her
.
“
Wouldn’t
it
be
pretty
?
I
should
love
it
.
”
And
she
turned
smiling
to
Ursula
,
in
a
feeling
of
real
affection
.
But
Gerald
remained
with
Birkin
,
wanting
to
probe
him
to
the
bottom
,
to
know
what
he
meant
by
the
dual
will
in
horses
.
A
flicker
of
excitement
danced
on
Gerald’s
face
.
Hermione
and
Ursula
strayed
on
together
,
united
in
a
sudden
bond
of
deep
affection
and
closeness
.
“
I
really
do
not
want
to
be
forced
into
all
this
criticism
and
analysis
of
life
.
I
really
do
want
to
see
things
in
their
entirety
,
with
their
beauty
left
to
them
,
and
their
wholeness
,
their
natural
holiness
.
Don’t
you
feel
it
,
don’t
you
feel
you
can’t
be
tortured
into
any
more
knowledge
?
”
said
Hermione
,
stopping
in
front
of
Ursula
,
and
turning
to
her
with
clenched
fists
thrust
downwards
.
“
Yes
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
I
do
.
I
am
sick
of
all
this
poking
and
prying
.
”
“
I’m
so
glad
you
are
.
Sometimes
,
”
said
Hermione
,
again
stopping
arrested
in
her
progress
and
turning
to
Ursula
,
“
sometimes
I
wonder
if
I
ought
to
submit
to
all
this
realisation
,
if
I
am
not
being
weak
in
rejecting
it
.
But
I
feel
I
can’t
—
I
can’t
.
It
seems
to
destroy
everything
.
All
the
beauty
and
the
—
and
the
true
holiness
is
destroyed
—
and
I
feel
I
can’t
live
without
them
.
”
“
And
it
would
be
simply
wrong
to
live
without
them
,
”
cried
Ursula
.
“
No
,
it
is
so
irreverent
to
think
that
everything
must
be
realised
in
the
head
.
Really
,
something
must
be
left
to
the
Lord
,
there
always
is
and
always
will
be
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
said
Hermione
,
reassured
like
a
child
,
“
it
should
,
shouldn’t
it
?
And
Rupert
—
”
she
lifted
her
face
to
the
sky
,
in
a
muse
—
“
he
can
only
tear
things
to
pieces
.
He
really
is
like
a
boy
who
must
pull
everything
to
pieces
to
see
how
it
is
made
.
And
I
can’t
think
it
is
right
—
it
does
seem
so
irreverent
,
as
you
say
.
”
“
Like
tearing
open
a
bud
to
see
what
the
flower
will
be
like
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
Yes
.
And
that
kills
everything
,
doesn’t
it
?
It
doesn’t
allow
any
possibility
of
flowering
.
”
“
Of
course
not
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
It
is
purely
destructive
.
”
“
It
is
,
isn’t
it
!
”
Hermione
looked
long
and
slow
at
Ursula
,
seeming
to
accept
confirmation
from
her
.
Then
the
two
women
were
silent
.
As
soon
as
they
were
in
accord
,
they
began
mutually
to
mistrust
each
other
.
In
spite
of
herself
,
Ursula
felt
herself
recoiling
from
Hermione
.
It
was
all
she
could
do
to
restrain
her
revulsion
.
They
returned
to
the
men
,
like
two
conspirators
who
have
withdrawn
to
come
to
an
agreement
.
Birkin
looked
up
at
them
.
Ursula
hated
him
for
his
cold
watchfulness
.
But
he
said
nothing
.
“
Shall
we
be
going
?
”
said
Hermione
.
“
Rupert
,
you
are
coming
to
Shortlands
to
dinner
?
Will
you
come
at
once
,
will
you
come
now
,
with
us
?
”
“
I’m
not
dressed
,
”
replied
Birkin
.
“
And
you
know
Gerald
stickles
for
convention
.
”
“
I
don’t
stickle
for
it
,
”
said
Gerald
.
“
But
if
you’d
got
as
sick
as
I
have
of
rowdy
go-as-you-please
in
the
house
,
you’d
prefer
it
if
people
were
peaceful
and
conventional
,
at
least
at
meals
.
”
“
All
right
,
”
said
Birkin
.
“
But
can’t
we
wait
for
you
while
you
dress
?
”
persisted
Hermione
.
“
If
you
like
.
”
He
rose
to
go
indoors
.
Ursula
said
she
would
take
her
leave
.
“
Only
,
”
she
said
,
turning
to
Gerald
,
“
I
must
say
that
,
however
man
is
lord
of
the
beast
and
the
fowl
,
I
still
don’t
think
he
has
any
right
to
violate
the
feelings
of
the
inferior
creation
.
I
still
think
it
would
have
been
much
more
sensible
and
nice
of
you
if
you’d
trotted
back
up
the
road
while
the
train
went
by
,
and
been
considerate
.
”
“
I
see
,
”
said
Gerald
,
smiling
,
but
somewhat
annoyed
.
“
I
must
remember
another
time
.
”
“
They
all
think
I’m
an
interfering
female
,
”
thought
Ursula
to
herself
,
as
she
went
away
.
But
she
was
in
arms
against
them
.
She
ran
home
plunged
in
thought
.
She
had
been
very
much
moved
by
Hermione
,
she
had
really
come
into
contact
with
her
,
so
that
there
was
a
sort
of
league
between
the
two
women
.
And
yet
she
could
not
bear
her
.
But
she
put
the
thought
away
.
“
She’s
really
good
,
”
she
said
to
herself
.
“
She
really
wants
what
is
right
.
”
And
she
tried
to
feel
at
one
with
Hermione
,
and
to
shut
off
from
Birkin
.
She
was
strictly
hostile
to
him
.
But
she
was
held
to
him
by
some
bond
,
some
deep
principle
.
This
at
once
irritated
her
and
saved
her
.
Only
now
and
again
,
violent
little
shudders
would
come
over
her
,
out
of
her
subconsciousness
,
and
she
knew
it
was
the
fact
that
she
had
stated
her
challenge
to
Birkin
,
and
he
had
,
consciously
or
unconsciously
,
accepted
.
It
was
a
fight
to
the
death
between
them
—
or
to
new
life
:
though
in
what
the
conflict
lay
,
no
one
could
say
.
CHAPTER
XIII
.
MINO
The
days
went
by
,
and
she
received
no
sign
.
Was
he
going
to
ignore
her
,
was
he
going
to
take
no
further
notice
of
her
secret
?
A
dreary
weight
of
anxiety
and
acrid
bitterness
settled
on
her
.
And
yet
Ursula
knew
she
was
only
deceiving
herself
,
and
that
he
would
proceed
.
She
said
no
word
to
anybody
.
Then
,
sure
enough
,
there
came
a
note
from
him
,
asking
if
she
would
come
to
tea
with
Gudrun
,
to
his
rooms
in
town
.
“
Why
does
he
ask
Gudrun
as
well
?
”
she
asked
herself
at
once
.
“
Does
he
want
to
protect
himself
,
or
does
he
think
I
would
not
go
alone
?
”
She
was
tormented
by
the
thought
that
he
wanted
to
protect
himself
.
But
at
the
end
of
all
,
she
only
said
to
herself
:
“
I
don’t
want
Gudrun
to
be
there
,
because
I
want
him
to
say
something
more
to
me
.
So
I
shan’t
tell
Gudrun
anything
about
it
,
and
I
shall
go
alone
.
Then
I
shall
know
.
”
She
found
herself
sitting
on
the
tram-car
,
mounting
up
the
hill
going
out
of
the
town
,
to
the
place
where
he
had
his
lodging
.
She
seemed
to
have
passed
into
a
kind
of
dream
world
,
absolved
from
the
conditions
of
actuality
.
She
watched
the
sordid
streets
of
the
town
go
by
beneath
her
,
as
if
she
were
a
spirit
disconnected
from
the
material
universe
.
What
had
it
all
to
do
with
her
?
She
was
palpitating
and
formless
within
the
flux
of
the
ghost
life
.
She
could
not
consider
any
more
,
what
anybody
would
say
of
her
or
think
about
her
.
People
had
passed
out
of
her
range
,
she
was
absolved
.
She
had
fallen
strange
and
dim
,
out
of
the
sheath
of
the
material
life
,
as
a
berry
falls
from
the
only
world
it
has
ever
known
,
down
out
of
the
sheath
on
to
the
real
unknown
.
Birkin
was
standing
in
the
middle
of
the
room
,
when
she
was
shown
in
by
the
landlady
.
He
too
was
moved
outside
himself
.
She
saw
him
agitated
and
shaken
,
a
frail
,
unsubstantial
body
silent
like
the
node
of
some
violent
force
,
that
came
out
from
him
and
shook
her
almost
into
a
swoon
.
“
You
are
alone
?
”
he
said
.
“
Yes
—
Gudrun
could
not
come
.
”
He
instantly
guessed
why
.
And
they
were
both
seated
in
silence
,
in
the
terrible
tension
of
the
room
.
She
was
aware
that
it
was
a
pleasant
room
,
full
of
light
and
very
restful
in
its
form
—
aware
also
of
a
fuchsia
tree
,
with
dangling
scarlet
and
purple
flowers
.
“
How
nice
the
fuchsias
are
!
”
she
said
,
to
break
the
silence
.
“
Aren’t
they
!
Did
you
think
I
had
forgotten
what
I
said
?
”
A
swoon
went
over
Ursula’s
mind
.
“
I
don’t
want
you
to
remember
it
—
if
you
don’t
want
to
,
”
she
struggled
to
say
,
through
the
dark
mist
that
covered
her
.
There
was
silence
for
some
moments
.
“
No
,
”
he
said
.
“
It
isn’t
that
.
Only
—
if
we
are
going
to
know
each
other
,
we
must
pledge
ourselves
for
ever
.
If
we
are
going
to
make
a
relationship
,
even
of
friendship
,
there
must
be
something
final
and
infallible
about
it
.
”
There
was
a
clang
of
mistrust
and
almost
anger
in
his
voice
.
She
did
not
answer
.
Her
heart
was
too
much
contracted
.
She
could
not
have
spoken
.
Seeing
she
was
not
going
to
reply
,
he
continued
,
almost
bitterly
,
giving
himself
away
:
“
I
can’t
say
it
is
love
I
have
to
offer
—
and
it
isn’t
love
I
want
.
It
is
something
much
more
impersonal
and
harder
—
and
rarer
.
”
There
was
a
silence
,
out
of
which
she
said
:
“
You
mean
you
don’t
love
me
?
”
She
suffered
furiously
,
saying
that
.
“
Yes
,
if
you
like
to
put
it
like
that
.
Though
perhaps
that
isn’t
true
.
I
don’t
know
.
At
any
rate
,
I
don’t
feel
the
emotion
of
love
for
you
—
no
,
and
I
don’t
want
to
.
Because
it
gives
out
in
the
last
issues
.
”
“
Love
gives
out
in
the
last
issues
?
”
she
asked
,
feeling
numb
to
the
lips
.
“
Yes
,
it
does
.
At
the
very
last
,
one
is
alone
,
beyond
the
influence
of
love
.
There
is
a
real
impersonal
me
,
that
is
beyond
love
,
beyond
any
emotional
relationship
.
So
it
is
with
you
.
But
we
want
to
delude
ourselves
that
love
is
the
root
.
It
isn’t
.
It
is
only
the
branches
.
The
root
is
beyond
love
,
a
naked
kind
of
isolation
,
an
isolated
me
,
that
does
not
meet
and
mingle
,
and
never
can
.
”
She
watched
him
with
wide
,
troubled
eyes
.
His
face
was
incandescent
in
its
abstract
earnestness
.
“
And
you
mean
you
can’t
love
?
”
she
asked
,
in
trepidation
.
“
Yes
,
if
you
like
.
I
have
loved
.
But
there
is
a
beyond
,
where
there
is
not
love
.
”
She
could
not
submit
to
this
.
She
felt
it
swooning
over
her
.
But
she
could
not
submit
.
“
But
how
do
you
know
—
if
you
have
never
really
loved
?
”
she
asked
.
“
It
is
true
,
what
I
say
;
there
is
a
beyond
,
in
you
,
in
me
,
which
is
further
than
love
,
beyond
the
scope
,
as
stars
are
beyond
the
scope
of
vision
,
some
of
them
.
”
“
Then
there
is
no
love
,
”
cried
Ursula
.
“
Ultimately
,
no
,
there
is
something
else
.
But
,
ultimately
,
there
is
no
love
.
”
Ursula
was
given
over
to
this
statement
for
some
moments
.
Then
she
half
rose
from
her
chair
,
saying
,
in
a
final
,
repellent
voice
:
“
Then
let
me
go
home
—
what
am
I
doing
here
?
”
“
There
is
the
door
,
”
he
said
.
“
You
are
a
free
agent
.
”
He
was
suspended
finely
and
perfectly
in
this
extremity
.
She
hung
motionless
for
some
seconds
,
then
she
sat
down
again
.
“
If
there
is
no
love
,
what
is
there
?
”
she
cried
,
almost
jeering
.
“
Something
,
”
he
said
,
looking
at
her
,
battling
with
his
soul
,
with
all
his
might
.
“
What
?
”
He
was
silent
for
a
long
time
,
unable
to
be
in
communication
with
her
while
she
was
in
this
state
of
opposition
.
“
There
is
,
”
he
said
,
in
a
voice
of
pure
abstraction
;
“
a
final
me
which
is
stark
and
impersonal
and
beyond
responsibility
.
So
there
is
a
final
you
.
And
it
is
there
I
would
want
to
meet
you
—
not
in
the
emotional
,
loving
plane
—
but
there
beyond
,
where
there
is
no
speech
and
no
terms
of
agreement
.
There
we
are
two
stark
,
unknown
beings
,
two
utterly
strange
creatures
,
I
would
want
to
approach
you
,
and
you
me
.
And
there
could
be
no
obligation
,
because
there
is
no
standard
for
action
there
,
because
no
understanding
has
been
reaped
from
that
plane
.
It
is
quite
inhuman
,
—
so
there
can
be
no
calling
to
book
,
in
any
form
whatsoever
—
because
one
is
outside
the
pale
of
all
that
is
accepted
,
and
nothing
known
applies
.
One
can
only
follow
the
impulse
,
taking
that
which
lies
in
front
,
and
responsible
for
nothing
,
asked
for
nothing
,
giving
nothing
,
only
each
taking
according
to
the
primal
desire
.
”
Ursula
listened
to
this
speech
,
her
mind
dumb
and
almost
senseless
,
what
he
said
was
so
unexpected
and
so
untoward
.
“
It
is
just
purely
selfish
,
”
she
said
.
“
If
it
is
pure
,
yes
.
But
it
isn’t
selfish
at
all
.
Because
I
don’t
know
what
I
want
of
you
.
I
deliver
myself
over
to
the
unknown
,
in
coming
to
you
,
I
am
without
reserves
or
defences
,
stripped
entirely
,
into
the
unknown
.
Only
there
needs
the
pledge
between
us
,
that
we
will
both
cast
off
everything
,
cast
off
ourselves
even
,
and
cease
to
be
,
so
that
that
which
is
perfectly
ourselves
can
take
place
in
us
.
”
She
pondered
along
her
own
line
of
thought
.
“
But
it
is
because
you
love
me
,
that
you
want
me
?
”
she
persisted
.
“
No
it
isn’t
.
It
is
because
I
believe
in
you
—
if
I
do
believe
in
you
.
”
“
Aren’t
you
sure
?
”
she
laughed
,
suddenly
hurt
.
He
was
looking
at
her
steadfastly
,
scarcely
heeding
what
she
said
.
“
Yes
,
I
must
believe
in
you
,
or
else
I
shouldn’t
be
here
saying
this
,
”
he
replied
.
“
But
that
is
all
the
proof
I
have
.
I
don’t
feel
any
very
strong
belief
at
this
particular
moment
.
”
She
disliked
him
for
this
sudden
relapse
into
weariness
and
faithlessness
.
“
But
don’t
you
think
me
good-looking
?
”
she
persisted
,
in
a
mocking
voice
.
He
looked
at
her
,
to
see
if
he
felt
that
she
was
good-looking
.
“
I
don’t
feel
that
you’re
good-looking
,
”
he
said
.
“
Not
even
attractive
?
”
she
mocked
,
bitingly
.
He
knitted
his
brows
in
sudden
exasperation
.
“
Don’t
you
see
that
it’s
not
a
question
of
visual
appreciation
in
the
least
,
”
he
cried
.
“
I
don’t
want
to
see
you
.
I’ve
seen
plenty
of
women
,
I’m
sick
and
weary
of
seeing
them
.
I
want
a
woman
I
don’t
see
.
”
“
I’m
sorry
I
can’t
oblige
you
by
being
invisible
,
”
she
laughed
.
“
Yes
,
”
he
said
,
“
you
are
invisible
to
me
,
if
you
don’t
force
me
to
be
visually
aware
of
you
.
But
I
don’t
want
to
see
you
or
hear
you
.
”
“
What
did
you
ask
me
to
tea
for
,
then
?
”
she
mocked
.
But
he
would
take
no
notice
of
her
.
He
was
talking
to
himself
.
“
I
want
to
find
you
,
where
you
don’t
know
your
own
existence
,
the
you
that
your
common
self
denies
utterly
.
But
I
don’t
want
your
good
looks
,
and
I
don’t
want
your
womanly
feelings
,
and
I
don’t
want
your
thoughts
nor
opinions
nor
your
ideas
—
they
are
all
bagatelles
to
me
.
”
“
You
are
very
conceited
,
Monsieur
,
”
she
mocked
.
“
How
do
you
know
what
my
womanly
feelings
are
,
or
my
thoughts
or
my
ideas
?
You
don’t
even
know
what
I
think
of
you
now
.
”
“
Nor
do
I
care
in
the
slightest
.
”
“
I
think
you
are
very
silly
.
I
think
you
want
to
tell
me
you
love
me
,
and
you
go
all
this
way
round
to
do
it
.
”
“
All
right
,
”
he
said
,
looking
up
with
sudden
exasperation
.
“
Now
go
away
then
,
and
leave
me
alone
.
I
don’t
want
any
more
of
your
meretricious
persiflage
.
”
“
Is
it
really
persiflage
?
”
she
mocked
,
her
face
really
relaxing
into
laughter
.
She
interpreted
it
,
that
he
had
made
a
deep
confession
of
love
to
her
.
But
he
was
so
absurd
in
his
words
,
also
.
They
were
silent
for
many
minutes
,
she
was
pleased
and
elated
like
a
child
.
His
concentration
broke
,
he
began
to
look
at
her
simply
and
naturally
.
“
What
I
want
is
a
strange
conjunction
with
you
—
”
he
said
quietly
;
“
not
meeting
and
mingling
—
you
are
quite
right
—
but
an
equilibrium
,
a
pure
balance
of
two
single
beings
—
as
the
stars
balance
each
other
.
”
She
looked
at
him
.
He
was
very
earnest
,
and
earnestness
was
always
rather
ridiculous
,
commonplace
,
to
her
.
It
made
her
feel
unfree
and
uncomfortable
.
Yet
she
liked
him
so
much
.
But
why
drag
in
the
stars
.
“
Isn’t
this
rather
sudden
?
”
she
mocked
.
He
began
to
laugh
.
“
Best
to
read
the
terms
of
the
contract
,
before
we
sign
,
”
he
said
.
A
young
grey
cat
that
had
been
sleeping
on
the
sofa
jumped
down
and
stretched
,
rising
on
its
long
legs
,
and
arching
its
slim
back
.
Then
it
sat
considering
for
a
moment
,
erect
and
kingly
.
And
then
,
like
a
dart
,
it
had
shot
out
of
the
room
,
through
the
open
window-doors
,
and
into
the
garden
.
“
What’s
he
after
?
”
said
Birkin
,
rising
.
The
young
cat
trotted
lordly
down
the
path
,
waving
his
tail
.
He
was
an
ordinary
tabby
with
white
paws
,
a
slender
young
gentleman
.
A
crouching
,
fluffy
,
brownish-grey
cat
was
stealing
up
the
side
of
the
fence
.
The
Mino
walked
statelily
up
to
her
,
with
manly
nonchalance
.
She
crouched
before
him
and
pressed
herself
on
the
ground
in
humility
,
a
fluffy
soft
outcast
,
looking
up
at
him
with
wild
eyes
that
were
green
and
lovely
as
great
jewels
.
He
looked
casually
down
on
her
.
So
she
crept
a
few
inches
further
,
proceeding
on
her
way
to
the
back
door
,
crouching
in
a
wonderful
,
soft
,
self-obliterating
manner
,
and
moving
like
a
shadow
.
He
,
going
statelily
on
his
slim
legs
,
walked
after
her
,
then
suddenly
,
for
pure
excess
,
he
gave
her
a
light
cuff
with
his
paw
on
the
side
of
her
face
.
She
ran
off
a
few
steps
,
like
a
blown
leaf
along
the
ground
,
then
crouched
unobtrusively
,
in
submissive
,
wild
patience
.
The
Mino
pretended
to
take
no
notice
of
her
.
He
blinked
his
eyes
superbly
at
the
landscape
.
In
a
minute
she
drew
herself
together
and
moved
softly
,
a
fleecy
brown-grey
shadow
,
a
few
paces
forward
.
She
began
to
quicken
her
pace
,
in
a
moment
she
would
be
gone
like
a
dream
,
when
the
young
grey
lord
sprang
before
her
,
and
gave
her
a
light
handsome
cuff
.
She
subsided
at
once
,
submissively
.
“
She
is
a
wild
cat
,
”
said
Birkin
.
“
She
has
come
in
from
the
woods
.
”
The
eyes
of
the
stray
cat
flared
round
for
a
moment
,
like
great
green
fires
staring
at
Birkin
.
Then
she
had
rushed
in
a
soft
swift
rush
,
half
way
down
the
garden
.
There
she
paused
to
look
round
.
The
Mino
turned
his
face
in
pure
superiority
to
his
master
,
and
slowly
closed
his
eyes
,
standing
in
statuesque
young
perfection
.
The
wild
cat’s
round
,
green
,
wondering
eyes
were
staring
all
the
while
like
uncanny
fires
.
Then
again
,
like
a
shadow
,
she
slid
towards
the
kitchen
.
In
a
lovely
springing
leap
,
like
a
wind
,
the
Mino
was
upon
her
,
and
had
boxed
her
twice
,
very
definitely
,
with
a
white
,
delicate
fist
.
She
sank
and
slid
back
,
unquestioning
.
He
walked
after
her
,
and
cuffed
her
once
or
twice
,
leisurely
,
with
sudden
little
blows
of
his
magic
white
paws
.
“
Now
why
does
he
do
that
?
”
cried
Ursula
in
indignation
.
“
They
are
on
intimate
terms
,
”
said
Birkin
.
“
And
is
that
why
he
hits
her
?
”
“
Yes
,
”
laughed
Birkin
,
“
I
think
he
wants
to
make
it
quite
obvious
to
her
.
”
“
Isn’t
it
horrid
of
him
!
”
she
cried
;
and
going
out
into
the
garden
she
called
to
the
Mino
:
“
Stop
it
,
don’t
bully
.
Stop
hitting
her
.
”
The
stray
cat
vanished
like
a
swift
,
invisible
shadow
.
The
Mino
glanced
at
Ursula
,
then
looked
from
her
disdainfully
to
his
master
.
“
Are
you
a
bully
,
Mino
?
”
Birkin
asked
.
The
young
slim
cat
looked
at
him
,
and
slowly
narrowed
its
eyes
.
Then
it
glanced
away
at
the
landscape
,
looking
into
the
distance
as
if
completely
oblivious
of
the
two
human
beings
.
“
Mino
,
”
said
Ursula
,
“
I
don’t
like
you
.
You
are
a
bully
like
all
males
.
”
“
No
,
”
said
Birkin
,
“
he
is
justified
.
He
is
not
a
bully
.
He
is
only
insisting
to
the
poor
stray
that
she
shall
acknowledge
him
as
a
sort
of
fate
,
her
own
fate
:
because
you
can
see
she
is
fluffy
and
promiscuous
as
the
wind
.
I
am
with
him
entirely
.
He
wants
superfine
stability
.
”
“
Yes
,
I
know
!
”
cried
Ursula
.
“
He
wants
his
own
way
—
I
know
what
your
fine
words
work
down
to
—
bossiness
,
I
call
it
,
bossiness
.
”
The
young
cat
again
glanced
at
Birkin
in
disdain
of
the
noisy
woman
.
“
I
quite
agree
with
you
,
Miciotto
,
”
said
Birkin
to
the
cat
.
“
Keep
your
male
dignity
,
and
your
higher
understanding
.
”
Again
the
Mino
narrowed
his
eyes
as
if
he
were
looking
at
the
sun
.
Then
,
suddenly
affecting
to
have
no
connection
at
all
with
the
two
people
,
he
went
trotting
off
,
with
assumed
spontaneity
and
gaiety
,
his
tail
erect
,
his
white
feet
blithe
.
“
Now
he
will
find
the
belle
sauvage
once
more
,
and
entertain
her
with
his
superior
wisdom
,
”
laughed
Birkin
.
Ursula
looked
at
the
man
who
stood
in
the
garden
with
his
hair
blowing
and
his
eyes
smiling
ironically
,
and
she
cried
:
“
Oh
it
makes
me
so
cross
,
this
assumption
of
male
superiority
!
And
it
is
such
a
lie
!
One
wouldn’t
mind
if
there
were
any
justification
for
it
.
”
“
The
wild
cat
,
”
said
Birkin
,
“
doesn’t
mind
.
She
perceives
that
it
is
justified
.
”
“
Does
she
!
”
cried
Ursula
.
“
And
tell
it
to
the
Horse
Marines
.
”
“
To
them
also
.
”
“
It
is
just
like
Gerald
Crich
with
his
horse
—
a
lust
for
bullying
—
a
real
Wille
zur
Macht
—
so
base
,
so
petty
.
”
“
I
agree
that
the
Wille
zur
Macht
is
a
base
and
petty
thing
.
But
with
the
Mino
,
it
is
the
desire
to
bring
this
female
cat
into
a
pure
stable
equilibrium
,
a
transcendent
and
abiding
rapport
with
the
single
male
.
Whereas
without
him
,
as
you
see
,
she
is
a
mere
stray
,
a
fluffy
sporadic
bit
of
chaos
.
It
is
a
volonté
de
pouvoir
,
if
you
like
,
a
will
to
ability
,
taking
pouvoir
as
a
verb
.
”
“
Ah
—
!
Sophistries
!
It’s
the
old
Adam
.
”
“
Oh
yes
.
Adam
kept
Eve
in
the
indestructible
paradise
,
when
he
kept
her
single
with
himself
,
like
a
star
in
its
orbit
.
”
“
Yes
—
yes
—
”
cried
Ursula
,
pointing
her
finger
at
him
.
“
There
you
are
—
a
star
in
its
orbit
!
A
satellite
—
a
satellite
of
Mars
—
that’s
what
she
is
to
be
!
There
—
there
—
you’ve
given
yourself
away
!
You
want
a
satellite
,
Mars
and
his
satellite
!
You’ve
said
it
—
you’ve
said
it
—
you’ve
dished
yourself
!
”
He
stood
smiling
in
frustration
and
amusement
and
irritation
and
admiration
and
love
.
She
was
so
quick
,
and
so
lambent
,
like
discernible
fire
,
and
so
vindictive
,
and
so
rich
in
her
dangerous
flamy
sensitiveness
.
“
I’ve
not
said
it
at
all
,
”
he
replied
,
“
if
you
will
give
me
a
chance
to
speak
.
”
“
No
,
no
!
”
she
cried
.
“
I
won’t
let
you
speak
.
You’ve
said
it
,
a
satellite
,
you’re
not
going
to
wriggle
out
of
it
.
You’ve
said
it
.
”
“
You’ll
never
believe
now
that
I
haven’t
said
it
,
”
he
answered
.
“
I
neither
implied
nor
indicated
nor
mentioned
a
satellite
,
nor
intended
a
satellite
,
never
.
”
“
You
prevaricator
!
”
she
cried
,
in
real
indignation
.
“
Tea
is
ready
,
sir
,
”
said
the
landlady
from
the
doorway
.
They
both
looked
at
her
,
very
much
as
the
cats
had
looked
at
them
,
a
little
while
before
.
“
Thank
you
,
Mrs
Daykin
.
”
An
interrupted
silence
fell
over
the
two
of
them
,
a
moment
of
breach
.
“
Come
and
have
tea
,
”
he
said
.
“
Yes
,
I
should
love
it
,
”
she
replied
,
gathering
herself
together
.
They
sat
facing
each
other
across
the
tea
table
.
“
I
did
not
say
,
nor
imply
,
a
satellite
.
I
meant
two
single
equal
stars
balanced
in
conjunction
—
”
“
You
gave
yourself
away
,
you
gave
away
your
little
game
completely
,
”
she
cried
,
beginning
at
once
to
eat
.
He
saw
that
she
would
take
no
further
heed
of
his
expostulation
,
so
he
began
to
pour
the
tea
.
“
What
good
things
to
eat
!
”
she
cried
.
“
Take
your
own
sugar
,
”
he
said
.
He
handed
her
her
cup
.
He
had
everything
so
nice
,
such
pretty
cups
and
plates
,
painted
with
mauve-lustre
and
green
,
also
shapely
bowls
and
glass
plates
,
and
old
spoons
,
on
a
woven
cloth
of
pale
grey
and
black
and
purple
.
It
was
very
rich
and
fine
.
But
Ursula
could
see
Hermione’s
influence
.
“
Your
things
are
so
lovely
!
”
she
said
,
almost
angrily
.
“
I
like
them
.
It
gives
me
real
pleasure
to
use
things
that
are
attractive
in
themselves
—
pleasant
things
.
And
Mrs
Daykin
is
good
.
She
thinks
everything
is
wonderful
,
for
my
sake
.
”
“
Really
,
”
said
Ursula
,
“
landladies
are
better
than
wives
,
nowadays
.
They
certainly
care
a
great
deal
more
.
It
is
much
more
beautiful
and
complete
here
now
,
than
if
you
were
married
.
”
“
But
think
of
the
emptiness
within
,
”
he
laughed
.
“
No
,
”
she
said
.
“
I
am
jealous
that
men
have
such
perfect
landladies
and
such
beautiful
lodgings
.
There
is
nothing
left
them
to
desire
.
”
“
In
the
house-keeping
way
,
we’ll
hope
not
.
It
is
disgusting
,
people
marrying
for
a
home
.
”
“
Still
,
”
said
Ursula
,
“
a
man
has
very
little
need
for
a
woman
now
,
has
he
?
”
“
In
outer
things
,
maybe
—
except
to
share
his
bed
and
bear
his
children
.
But
essentially
,
there
is
just
the
same
need
as
there
ever
was
.
Only
nobody
takes
the
trouble
to
be
essential
.
”
“
How
essential
?
”
she
said
.
“
I
do
think
,
”
he
said
,
“
that
the
world
is
only
held
together
by
the
mystic
conjunction
,
the
ultimate
unison
between
people
—
a
bond
.
And
the
immediate
bond
is
between
man
and
woman
.
”
“
But
it’s
such
old
hat
,
”
said
Ursula
.
“
Why
should
love
be
a
bond
?
No
,
I’m
not
having
any
.
”
“
If
you
are
walking
westward
,
”
he
said
,
“
you
forfeit
the
northern
and
eastward
and
southern
direction
.
If
you
admit
a
unison
,
you
forfeit
all
the
possibilities
of
chaos
.
”
“
But
love
is
freedom
,
”
she
declared
.
“
Don’t
cant
to
me
,
”
he
replied
.
“
Love
is
a
direction
which
excludes
all
other
directions
.
It’s
a
freedom
together
,
if
you
like
.
”
“
No
,
”
she
said
,
“
love
includes
everything
.
”
“
Sentimental
cant
,
”
he
replied
.
“
You
want
the
state
of
chaos
,
that’s
all
.
It
is
ultimate
nihilism
,
this
freedom-in-love
business
,
this
freedom
which
is
love
and
love
which
is
freedom
.
As
a
matter
of
fact
,
if
you
enter
into
a
pure
unison
,
it
is
irrevocable
,
and
it
is
never
pure
till
it
is
irrevocable
.
And
when
it
is
irrevocable
,
it
is
one
way
,
like
the
path
of
a
star
.
”
“
Ha
!
”
she
cried
bitterly
.
“
It
is
the
old
dead
morality
.
”
“
No
,
”
he
said
,
“
it
is
the
law
of
creation
.
One
is
committed
.
One
must
commit
oneself
to
a
conjunction
with
the
other
—
for
ever
.
But
it
is
not
selfless
—
it
is
a
maintaining
of
the
self
in
mystic
balance
and
integrity
—
like
a
star
balanced
with
another
star
.
”
“
I
don’t
trust
you
when
you
drag
in
the
stars
,
”
she
said
.
“
If
you
were
quite
true
,
it
wouldn’t
be
necessary
to
be
so
far-fetched
.
”
“
Don’t
trust
me
then
,
”
he
said
,
angry
.
“
It
is
enough
that
I
trust
myself
.
”
“
And
that
is
where
you
make
another
mistake
,
”
she
replied
.
“
You
don’t
trust
yourself
.
You
don’t
fully
believe
yourself
what
you
are
saying
.
You
don’t
really
want
this
conjunction
,
otherwise
you
wouldn’t
talk
so
much
about
it
,
you’d
get
it
.
”
He
was
suspended
for
a
moment
,
arrested
.
“
How
?
”
he
said
.
“
By
just
loving
,
”
she
retorted
in
defiance
.
He
was
still
a
moment
,
in
anger
.
Then
he
said
:
“
I
tell
you
,
I
don’t
believe
in
love
like
that
.
I
tell
you
,
you
want
love
to
administer
to
your
egoism
,
to
subserve
you
.
Love
is
a
process
of
subservience
with
you
—
and
with
everybody
.
I
hate
it
.
”
“
No
,
”
she
cried
,
pressing
back
her
head
like
a
cobra
,
her
eyes
flashing
.
“
It
is
a
process
of
pride
—
I
want
to
be
proud
—
”
“
Proud
and
subservient
,
proud
and
subservient
,
I
know
you
,
”
he
retorted
dryly
.
“
Proud
and
subservient
,
then
subservient
to
the
proud
—
I
know
you
and
your
love
.
It
is
a
tick-tack
,
tick-tack
,
a
dance
of
opposites
.
”
“
Are
you
sure
?
”
she
mocked
wickedly
,
“
what
my
love
is
?
”
“
Yes
,
I
am
,
”
he
retorted
.
“
So
cocksure
!
”
she
said
.
“
How
can
anybody
ever
be
right
,
who
is
so
cocksure
?
It
shows
you
are
wrong
.
”
He
was
silent
in
chagrin
.
They
had
talked
and
struggled
till
they
were
both
wearied
out
.
“
Tell
me
about
yourself
and
your
people
,
”
he
said
.
And
she
told
him
about
the
Brangwens
,
and
about
her
mother
,
and
about
Skrebensky
,
her
first
love
,
and
about
her
later
experiences
.
He
sat
very
still
,
watching
her
as
she
talked
.
And
he
seemed
to
listen
with
reverence
.
Her
face
was
beautiful
and
full
of
baffled
light
as
she
told
him
all
the
things
that
had
hurt
her
or
perplexed
her
so
deeply
.
He
seemed
to
warm
and
comfort
his
soul
at
the
beautiful
light
of
her
nature
.
“
If
she
really
could
pledge
herself
,
”
he
thought
to
himself
,
with
passionate
insistence
but
hardly
any
hope
.
Yet
a
curious
little
irresponsible
laughter
appeared
in
his
heart
.
“
We
have
all
suffered
so
much
,
”
he
mocked
,
ironically
.
She
looked
up
at
him
,
and
a
flash
of
wild
gaiety
went
over
her
face
,
a
strange
flash
of
yellow
light
coming
from
her
eyes
.
“
Haven’t
we
!
”
she
cried
,
in
a
high
,
reckless
cry
.
“
It
is
almost
absurd
,
isn’t
it
?
”
“
Quite
absurd
,
”
he
said
.
“
Suffering
bores
me
,
any
more
.
”
“
So
it
does
me
.
”
He
was
almost
afraid
of
the
mocking
recklessness
of
her
splendid
face
.
Here
was
one
who
would
go
to
the
whole
lengths
of
heaven
or
hell
,
whichever
she
had
to
go
.
And
he
mistrusted
her
,
he
was
afraid
of
a
woman
capable
of
such
abandon
,
such
dangerous
thoroughness
of
destructivity
.
Yet
he
chuckled
within
himself
also
.
She
came
over
to
him
and
put
her
hand
on
his
shoulder
,
looking
down
at
him
with
strange
golden-lighted
eyes
,
very
tender
,
but
with
a
curious
devilish
look
lurking
underneath
.
“
Say
you
love
me
,
say
‘my
love’
to
me
,
”
she
pleaded
.
He
looked
back
into
her
eyes
,
and
saw
.
His
face
flickered
with
sardonic
comprehension
.
“
I
love
you
right
enough
,
”
he
said
,
grimly
.
“
But
I
want
it
to
be
something
else
.
”
“
But
why
?
But
why
?
”
she
insisted
,
bending
her
wonderful
luminous
face
to
him
.
“
Why
isn’t
it
enough
?
”
“
Because
we
can
go
one
better
,
”
he
said
,
putting
his
arms
round
her
.
“
No
,
we
can’t
,
”
she
said
,
in
a
strong
,
voluptuous
voice
of
yielding
.
“
We
can
only
love
each
other
.
Say
‘my
love’
to
me
,
say
it
,
say
it
.
”
She
put
her
arms
round
his
neck
.
He
enfolded
her
,
and
kissed
her
subtly
,
murmuring
in
a
subtle
voice
of
love
,
and
irony
,
and
submission
:
“
Yes
,
—
my
love
,
yes
,
—
my
love
.
Let
love
be
enough
then
.
I
love
you
then
—
I
love
you
.
I’m
bored
by
the
rest
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
she
murmured
,
nestling
very
sweet
and
close
to
him
.
CHAPTER
XIV
.
WATER-PARTY
Every
year
Mr
Crich
gave
a
more
or
less
public
water-party
on
the
lake
.
There
was
a
little
pleasure-launch
on
Willey
Water
and
several
rowing
boats
,
and
guests
could
take
tea
either
in
the
marquee
that
was
set
up
in
the
grounds
of
the
house
,
or
they
could
picnic
in
the
shade
of
the
great
walnut
tree
at
the
boat-house
by
the
lake
.
This
year
the
staff
of
the
Grammar-School
was
invited
,
along
with
the
chief
officials
of
the
firm
.
Gerald
and
the
younger
Criches
did
not
care
for
this
party
,
but
it
had
become
customary
now
,
and
it
pleased
the
father
,
as
being
the
only
occasion
when
he
could
gather
some
people
of
the
district
together
in
festivity
with
him
.
For
he
loved
to
give
pleasures
to
his
dependents
and
to
those
poorer
than
himself
.
But
his
children
preferred
the
company
of
their
own
equals
in
wealth
.
They
hated
their
inferiors’
humility
or
gratitude
or
awkwardness
.
Nevertheless
they
were
willing
to
attend
at
this
festival
,
as
they
had
done
almost
since
they
were
children
,
the
more
so
,
as
they
all
felt
a
little
guilty
now
,
and
unwilling
to
thwart
their
father
any
more
,
since
he
was
so
ill
in
health
.
Therefore
,
quite
cheerfully
Laura
prepared
to
take
her
mother’s
place
as
hostess
,
and
Gerald
assumed
responsibility
for
the
amusements
on
the
water
.
Birkin
had
written
to
Ursula
saying
he
expected
to
see
her
at
the
party
,
and
Gudrun
,
although
she
scorned
the
patronage
of
the
Criches
,
would
nevertheless
accompany
her
mother
and
father
if
the
weather
were
fine
.
The
day
came
blue
and
full
of
sunshine
,
with
little
wafts
of
wind
.
The
sisters
both
wore
dresses
of
white
crêpe
,
and
hats
of
soft
grass
.
But
Gudrun
had
a
sash
of
brilliant
black
and
pink
and
yellow
colour
wound
broadly
round
her
waist
,
and
she
had
pink
silk
stockings
,
and
black
and
pink
and
yellow
decoration
on
the
brim
of
her
hat
,
weighing
it
down
a
little
.
She
carried
also
a
yellow
silk
coat
over
her
arm
,
so
that
she
looked
remarkable
,
like
a
painting
from
the
Salon
.
Her
appearance
was
a
sore
trial
to
her
father
,
who
said
angrily
:
“
Don’t
you
think
you
might
as
well
get
yourself
up
for
a
Christmas
cracker
,
an’
ha’
done
with
it
?
”
But
Gudrun
looked
handsome
and
brilliant
,
and
she
wore
her
clothes
in
pure
defiance
.
When
people
stared
at
her
,
and
giggled
after
her
,
she
made
a
point
of
saying
loudly
,
to
Ursula
:
“
Regarde
,
regarde
ces
gens-là
!
Ne
sont-ils
pas
des
hiboux
incroyables
?
”
And
with
the
words
of
French
in
her
mouth
,
she
would
look
over
her
shoulder
at
the
giggling
party
.
“
No
,
really
,
it’s
impossible
!
”
Ursula
would
reply
distinctly
.
And
so
the
two
girls
took
it
out
of
their
universal
enemy
.
But
their
father
became
more
and
more
enraged
.
Ursula
was
all
snowy
white
,
save
that
her
hat
was
pink
,
and
entirely
without
trimming
,
and
her
shoes
were
dark
red
,
and
she
carried
an
orange-coloured
coat
.
And
in
this
guise
they
were
walking
all
the
way
to
Shortlands
,
their
father
and
mother
going
in
front
.
They
were
laughing
at
their
mother
,
who
,
dressed
in
a
summer
material
of
black
and
purple
stripes
,
and
wearing
a
hat
of
purple
straw
,
was
setting
forth
with
much
more
of
the
shyness
and
trepidation
of
a
young
girl
than
her
daughters
ever
felt
,
walking
demurely
beside
her
husband
,
who
,
as
usual
,
looked
rather
crumpled
in
his
best
suit
,
as
if
he
were
the
father
of
a
young
family
and
had
been
holding
the
baby
whilst
his
wife
got
dressed
.
“
Look
at
the
young
couple
in
front
,
”
said
Gudrun
calmly
.
Ursula
looked
at
her
mother
and
father
,
and
was
suddenly
seized
with
uncontrollable
laughter
.
The
two
girls
stood
in
the
road
and
laughed
till
the
tears
ran
down
their
faces
,
as
they
caught
sight
again
of
the
shy
,
unworldly
couple
of
their
parents
going
on
ahead
.
“
We
are
roaring
at
you
,
mother
,
”
called
Ursula
,
helplessly
following
after
her
parents
.
Mrs
Brangwen
turned
round
with
a
slightly
puzzled
,
exasperated
look
.
“
Oh
indeed
!
”
she
said
.
“
What
is
there
so
very
funny
about
me
,
I
should
like
to
know
?
”
She
could
not
understand
that
there
could
be
anything
amiss
with
her
appearance
.
She
had
a
perfect
calm
sufficiency
,
an
easy
indifference
to
any
criticism
whatsoever
,
as
if
she
were
beyond
it
.
Her
clothes
were
always
rather
odd
,
and
as
a
rule
slip-shod
,
yet
she
wore
them
with
a
perfect
ease
and
satisfaction
.
Whatever
she
had
on
,
so
long
as
she
was
barely
tidy
,
she
was
right
,
beyond
remark
;
such
an
aristocrat
she
was
by
instinct
.
“
You
look
so
stately
,
like
a
country
Baroness
,
”
said
Ursula
,
laughing
with
a
little
tenderness
at
her
mother’s
