theprophecy
of
all
noble
hearts
,
a
sign
of
their
inability
to
concur
in
the
present
condition
of
things
.
Going
back
to
Clem’s
wife
;
she
laid
hold
,
as
I
have
said
,
upon
heaven
.
The
thought
wrought
in
her
something
more
than
forgetfulness
of
pain
or
the
expectation
of
counterpoising
bliss
.
We
can
understand
what
this
something
was
,
for
although
we
know
no
such
heaven
as
hers
,
a
new
temper
is
imparted
to
us
,
a
new
spirit
breathed
into
us
;
I
was
about
to
say
a
new
hope
bestowed
upon
us
,
when
we
consider
that
we
live
surrounded
by
the
soundless
depths
in
which
the
stars
repose
.
Such
a
consideration
has
a
direct
practical
effect
upon
us
,
and
so
had
the
future
upon
the
mind
of
Mrs.
Butts
.
“
Why
dost
thou
judge
thy
brother
,
”
says
Paul
,
“
for
we
shall
all
stand
before
the
judgment-seat
of
God
.
”
Paul
does
not
mean
that
God
will
punish
him
and
that
we
may
rest
satisfied
that
our
enemy
will
be
turned
into
hell
fire
.
Rather
does
he
mean
,
what
we
,
too
,
feel
,
that
,
reflecting
on
the
great
idea
of
God
,
and
upon
all
that
it
involves
,
our
animosities
are
softened
,
and
our
heat
against
our
brother
is
cooled
.
One
or
two
reflections
may
perhaps
be
permitted
here
on
this
passage
in
Mrs.
Butts’
history
.
The
fidelity
of
Clem’s
wife
to
him
,
if
not
entirely
due
to
the
New
Testament
,
was
in
a
great
measure
traceable
to
it
.
She
had
learned
from
the
Epistle
to
the
Corinthians
that
charity
beareth
all
things
,
believeth
all
things
,
hopeth
all
things
,
endureth
all
things
;
and
she
interpreted
this
to
mean
,
not
merely
charity
to
those
whom
she
loved
by
nature
,
but
charity
to
those
with
whom
she
was
not
in
sympathy
,
and
who
even
wronged
her
.
Christianity
no
doubt
does
teach
such
a
charity
as
this
,
a
love
which
is
to
be
:
independent
of
mere
personal
likes
and
dislikes
,
a
love
of
the
human
in
man
.
The
natural
man
,
the
man
of
this
century
,
uncontrolled
by
Christianity
,
considers
himself
a
model
of
what
is
virtuous
and
heroic
if
he
really
loves
his
friends
,
and
he
permits
all
kinds
of
savage
antipathies
to
those
of
his
fellow
creatures
with
whom
he
is
not
in
harmony
.
Jesus
on
the
other
hand
asks
with
His
usual
perfect
simplicity
,
“
If
ye
love
them
which
love
you
,
what
reward
have
ye
?
Do
not
even
the
publicans
the
same
?
”
It
would
be
a
great
step
in
advance
for
most
of
us
to
love
anybody
,
and
the
publicans
of
the
time
of
Jesus
must
have
been
a
much
more
Christian
set
than
most
Christians
of
the
present
day
;
but
that
we
should
love
those
who
do
not
love
us
is
a
height
never
scaled
now
,
except
by
a
few
of
the
elect
in
whom
Christ
still
survives
.
In
the
gospel
of
Luke
,
also
,
Mrs.
Butts
read
that
she
was
to
hope
for
nothing
again
from
her
love
,
and
that
she
was
to
be
merciful
,
as
her
Father
in
heaven
is
merciful
.
That
is
really
the
expression
of
the
idea
in
morality
,
and
incalculable
is
the
blessing
that
our
great
religious
teacher
should
have
been
bold
enough
to
teach
the
idea
,
and
not
any
limitation
of
it
.
He
always
taught
it
,
the
inward
born
,
the
heavenly
law
towards
which
everything
strives
.
He
always
trusted
it
;
He
did
not
deal
in
exceptions
;
He
relied
on
it
to
the
uttermost
,
never
despairing
.
This
has
always
seemed
to
me
to
be
the
real
meaning
of
the
word
faith
.
It
is
permanent
confidence
in
the
idea
,
a
confidence
never
to
be
broken
down
by
apparent
failure
,
or
by
examples
by
which
ordinary
people
prove
that
qualification
is
necessary
.
It
was
precisely
because
Jesus
taught
the
idea
,
and
nothing
below
it
,
that
He
had
such
authority
over
a
soul
like
my
friend’s
,
and
the
effect
produced
by
Him
could
not
have
been
produced
by
anybody
nearer
to
ordinary
humanity
.
It
must
be
admitted
,
too
,
that
the
Calvinism
of
those
days
had
a
powerful
influence
in
enabling
men
and
women
to
endure
,
although
I
object
to
giving
the
name
of
Calvin
to
a
philosophy
which
is
a
necessity
in
all
ages
.
“
Are
not
two
sparrows
sold
for
a
farthing
?
and
one
of
them
shall
not
fall
on
the
ground
without
your
Father
.
”
This
is
the
last
word
which
can
be
said
.
Nothing
can
go
beyond
it
,
and
at
times
it
is
the
only
ground
which
we
feel
does
not
shake
under
our
feet
.
All
life
is
summed
up
,
and
due
account
is
taken
of
it
,
according
to
its
degree
.
Mrs.
Butts’
Calvinism
,
however
,
hardly
took
the
usual
dogmatic
form
.
She
was
too
simple
to
penetrate
the
depths
of
metaphysical
theology
,
and
she
never
would
have
dared
to
set
down
any
of
her
fellow
creatures
as
irrevocably
lost
.
She
adapted
the
Calvinistic
creed
to
something
which
suited
her
.
For
example
,
she
fully
understood
what
St.
Paul
means
when
he
tells
the
Thessalonians
that
because
they
were
called
,
therefore
they
were
to
stand
fast
.
She
thought
with
Paul
that
being
called
;
having
a
duty
plainly
laid
upon
her
;
being
bidden
as
if
by
a
general
to
do
something
,
she
ought
to
stand
fast
;
and
she
stood
fast
,
supported
against
all
pressure
by
the
consciousness
of
fulfilling
the
special
orders
of
One
who
was
her
superior
.
There
is
no
doubt
that
this
dogma
of
a
personal
calling
is
a
great
consolation
,
and
it
is
a
great
truth
.
Looking
at
the
masses
of
humanity
,
driven
this
way
and
that
way
,
the
Christian
teaching
is
apt
to
be
forgotten
that
for
each
individual
soul
there
is
a
vocation
as
real
as
if
that
soul
were
alone
upon
the
planet
.
Yet
it
is
a
fact
.
We
are
blinded
to
it
and
can
hardly
believe
it
,
because
of
the
impotency
of
our
little
intellects
to
conceive
a
destiny
which
shall
take
care
of
every
atom
of
life
on
the
globe
:
we
are
compelled
to
think
that
in
such
vast
crowds
of
people
as
we
behold
,
individuals
must
elude
the
eye
of
the
Maker
,
and
be
swept
into
forgetfulness
.
But
the
truth
of
truths
is
that
the
mind
of
the
universe
is
not
our
mind
,
or
at
any
rate
controlled
by
our
limitations
.
This
has
been
a
long
digression
which
I
did
not
intend
;
but
I
could
not
help
it
.
I
was
anxious
to
show
how
Mrs.
Butts
met
her
trouble
through
her
religion
.
The
apostle
says
that
“
they
drank
of
that
spiritual
Rock
which
followed
them
,
and
that
Rock
was
Christ
.
”
That
was
true
of
her
.
The
way
through
the
desert
was
not
annihilated
;
the
path
remained
stony
and
sore
to
the
feet
,
but
it
was
accompanied
to
the
end
by
a
sweet
stream
to
which
she
could
turn
aside
,
and
from
which
she
could
obtain
refreshment
and
strength
.
Just
about
the
time
that
we
began
our
meetings
near
Drury
Lane
,
I
heard
that
Clem
was
dead
;
that
he
had
died
abroad
.
I
knew
nothing
more
;
I
thought
about
him
and
his
wife
perhaps
for
a
day
,
but
I
had
parted
from
both
long
ago
,
and
I
went
on
with
my
work
.
CHAPTER
V
WHAT
IT
ALL
CAME
TO
For
two
years
or
thereabouts
,
M’Kay
and
myself
continued
our
labours
in
the
Drury
Lane
neighbourhood
.
There
is
a
proverb
that
it
is
the
first
step
which
is
the
most
difficult
in
the
achievement
of
any
object
,
and
the
proverb
has
been
altered
by
ascribing
the
main
part
of
the
difficulty
to
the
last
step
.
Neither
the
first
nor
the
last
has
been
the
difficult
step
with
me
,
but
rather
what
lies
between
.
The
first
is
usually
helped
by
the
excitement
and
the
promise
of
new
beginnings
,
and
the
last
by
the
prospect
of
triumph
;
but
the
intermediate
path
is
unassisted
by
enthusiasm
,
and
it
is
here
we
are
so
likely
to
faint
.
M’Kay
nevertheless
persevered
,
supporting
me
,
who
otherwise
might
have
been
tempted
to
despair
,
and
at
the
end
of
the
two
years
we
were
still
at
our
posts
.
We
had
,
however
,
learned
something
.
We
had
learned
that
we
could
not
make
the
slightest
impression
on
Drury
Lane
proper
.
Now
and
then
an
idler
,
or
sometimes
a
dozen
,
lounged
in
,
but
what
was
said
was
strange
to
them
;
they
were
out
of
their
own
world
as
completely
as
if
they
were
in
another
planet
,
and
all
our
efforts
to
reach
them
by
simplicity
of
statement
and
by
talking
about
things
which
we
supposed
would
interest
them
utterly
failed
.
I
did
not
know
,
till
I
came
in
actual
contact
with
them
,
how
far
away
the
classes
which
lie
at
the
bottom
of
great
cities
are
from
those
above
them
;
how
completely
they
are
inaccessible
to
motives
which
act
upon
ordinary
human
beings
,
and
how
deeply
they
are
sunk
beyond
ray
of
sun
or
stars
,
immersed
in
the
selfishness
naturally
begotten
of
their
incessant
struggle
for
existence
and
the
incessant
warfare
with
society
.
It
was
an
awful
thought
to
me
,
ever
present
on
those
Sundays
,
and
haunting
me
at
other
times
,
that
men
,
women
,
and
children
were
living
in
such
brutish
degradation
,
and
that
as
they
died
others
would
take
their
place
.
Our
civilisation
seemed
nothing
but
a
thin
film
or
crust
lying
over
a
volcanic
pit
,
and
I
often
wondered
whether
some
day
the
pit
would
not
break
up
through
it
and
destroy
us
all
.
Great
towns
are
answerable
for
the
creation
and
maintenance
of
the
masses
of
dark
,
impenetrable
,
subterranean
blackguardism
,
with
which
we
became
acquainted
.
The
filthy
gloom
of
the
sky
,
the
dirt
of
the
street
,
the
absence
of
fresh
air
,
the
herding
of
the
poor
into
huge
districts
which
cannot
be
opened
up
by
those
who
would
do
good
,
are
tremendous
agencies
of
corruption
which
are
active
at
such
a
rate
that
it
is
appalling
to
reflect
what
our
future
will
be
if
the
accumulation
of
population
be
not
checked
.
To
stand
face
to
face
with
the
insoluble
is
not
pleasant
.
A
man
will
do
anything
rather
than
confess
it
is
beyond
him
.
He
will
create
pleasant
fictions
,
and
fancy
a
possible
escape
here
and
there
,
but
this
problem
of
Drury
Lane
was
round
and
hard
like
a
ball
of
adamant
.
The
only
thing
I
could
do
was
faintly
,
and
I
was
about
to
say
stupidly
,
hope
—
for
I
had
no
rational
,
tangible
grounds
for
hoping
—
that
some
force
of
which
we
are
not
now
aware
might
some
day
develop
itself
which
will
be
able
to
resist
and
remove
the
pressure
which
sweeps
and
crushes
into
a
hell
,
sealed
from
the
upper
air
,
millions
of
human
souls
every
year
in
one
quarter
of
the
globe
alone
.
M’Kay’s
dreams
therefore
were
not
realised
,
and
yet
it
would
be
a
mistake
to
say
that
they
ended
in
nothing
.
It
often
happens
that
a
grand
attempt
,
although
it
may
fail
—
miserably
fail
—
is
fruitful
in
the
end
and
leaves
a
result
,
not
the
hoped
for
result
it
is
true
,
but
one
which
would
never
have
been
attained
without
it
.
A
youth
strives
after
the
impossible
,
and
he
is
apt
to
break
his
heart
because
he
has
never
even
touched
it
,
but
nevertheless
his
whole
life
is
the
sweeter
for
the
striving
;
and
the
archer
who
aims
at
a
mark
a
hundred
yards
away
will
send
his
arrow
further
than
he
who
sets
his
bow
and
his
arm
for
fifty
yards
.
So
it
was
with
M’Kay
.
He
did
not
convert
Drury
Lane
,
but
he
saved
two
or
three
.
One
man
whom
we
came
to
know
was
a
labourer
in
Somerset
House
,
a
kind
of
coal
porter
employed
in
carrying
coals
into
the
offices
there
from
the
cellars
below
,
and
in
other
menial
duties
.
He
had
about
fifteen
or
sixteen
shillings
a
week
,
and
as
the
coals
must
necessarily
be
in
the
different
rooms
before
ten
o’clock
in
the
morning
,
he
began
work
early
,
and
was
obliged
to
live
within
an
easy
distance
of
the
Strand
.
This
man
had
originally
been
a
small
tradesman
in
a
country
town
.
He
was
honest
,
but
he
never
could
or
never
would
push
his
trade
in
any
way
.
He
was
fond
of
all
kinds
of
little
mechanical
contrivings
,
disliked
his
shop
,
and
ought
to
have
been
a
carpenter
or
cabinet-maker
—
not
as
a
master
but
as
a
journeyman
,
for
he
had
no
ability
whatever
to
control
men
or
direct
large
operations
.
He
was
married
,
and
a
sense
of
duty
to
his
wife
—
he
fortunately
had
no
children
—
induced
him
to
stand
or
sit
behind
his
counter
with
regularity
,
but
people
would
not
come
to
buy
of
him
,
because
he
never
seemed
to
consider
their
buying
as
any
favour
conferred
on
him
;
and
thus
he
became
gradually
displaced
by
his
more
energetic
or
more
obsequious
rivals
.
In
the
end
he
was
obliged
to
put
up
his
shutters
.
Unhappily
for
him
,
he
had
never
been
a
very
ardent
attendant
at
any
of
the
places
of
religious
worship
in
the
town
,
and
he
had
therefore
no
organisation
to
help
him
.
Not
being
master
of
any
craft
,
he
was
in
a
pitiable
plight
,
and
was
slowly
sinking
,
when
he
applied
to
the
solicitor
of
the
political
party
for
which
he
had
always
voted
to
assist
him
.
The
solicitor
applied
to
the
member
,
and
the
member
,
much
regretting
the
difficulty
of
obtaining
places
for
grown-up
men
,
and
explaining
the
pressure
upon
the
Treasury
,
wrote
to
say
that
the
only
post
at
his
disposal
was
that
of
labourer
.
He
would
have
liked
to
offer
a
messengership
,
but
the
Treasury
had
hundreds
of
applications
from
great
people
who
wished
to
dispose
of
favourite
footmen
whose
services
they
no
longer
required
.
Our
friend
Taylor
had
by
this
time
been
brought
very
low
,
or
he
would
have
held
out
for
something
better
,
but
there
was
nothing
to
be
done
.
He
was
starving
,
and
he
therefore
accepted
;
came
to
London
;
got
a
room
,
one
room
only
,
near
Clare
Market
,
and
began
his
new
duties
.
He
was
able
to
pick
up
a
shilling
or
two
more
weekly
by
going
on
errands
for
the
clerks
during
his
slack
time
in
the
day
,
so
that
altogether
on
the
average
he
made
up
about
eighteen
shillings
.
Wandering
about
the
Clare
Market
region
on
Sunday
he
found
us
out
,
came
in
,
and
remained
constant
.
Naturally
,
as
we
had
so
few
adherents
,
we
gradually
knew
these
few
very
intimately
,
and
Taylor
would
often
spend
a
holiday
or
part
of
the
Sunday
with
us
.
He
was
not
eminent
for
anything
in
particular
,
and
an
educated
man
,
selecting
as
his
friends
those
only
who
stand
for
something
,
would
not
have
taken
the
slightest
notice
of
him
.
He
had
read
nothing
particular
,
and
thought
nothing
particular
—
he
was
indeed
one
of
the
masses
—
but
in
this
respect
different
,
that
he
had
not
the
tendency
to
association
,
aggregation
,
or
clanship
which
belong
to
the
masses
generally
.
He
was
different
,
of
course
,
in
all
his
ways
from
his
neighbours
born
and
bred
to
Clare
Market
and
its
alleys
.
Although
commonplace
,
he
had
demands
made
upon
him
for
an
endurance
by
no
means
commonplace
,
and
he
had
sorrows
which
were
as
exquisite
as
those
of
his
betters
.
He
did
not
much
resent
his
poverty
.
To
that
I
think
he
would
have
submitted
,
and
in
fact
he
did
submit
to
it
cheerfully
.
What
rankled
in
him
was
the
brutal
disregard
of
him
at
the
office
.
He
was
a
servant
of
servants
.
The
messengers
,
who
themselves
were
exposed
to
all
the
petty
tyrannies
of
the
clerks
,
and
dared
not
reply
,
were
Taylor’s
masters
,
and
sought
a
compensation
for
their
own
serfdom
by
making
his
ten
times
worse
.
The
head
messenger
,
who
had
been
a
butler
,
swore
at
him
,
and
if
Taylor
had
“
answered
”
he
would
have
been
reported
.
He
had
never
been
a
person
of
much
importance
,
but
at
least
he
had
been
independent
,
and
it
was
a
new
experience
for
him
to
feel
that
he
was
a
thing
fit
for
nothing
but
to
be
cuffed
and
cursed
.
Upon
this
point
he
used
to
get
eloquent
—
as
eloquent
as
he
could
be
,
for
he
had
small
power
of
expression
,
and
he
would
describe
to
me
the
despair
which
came
over
him
down
in
those
dark
vaults
at
the
prospect
of
life
continuing
after
this
fashion
,
and
with
not
the
minutest
gleam
of
light
even
at
the
very
end
.
Nobody
ever
cared
to
know
the
most
ordinary
facts
about
him
.
Nobody
inquired
whether
he
was
married
or
single
;
nobody
troubled
himself
when
he
was
ill.
If
he
was
away
,
his
pay
was
stopped
;
and
when
he
returned
to
work
nobody
asked
if
he
was
better
.
Who
can
wonder
that
at
first
,
when
he
was
an
utter
stranger
in
a
strange
land
,
he
was
overcome
by
the
situation
,
and
that
the
world
was
to
him
a
dungeon
worse
than
that
of
Chillon
?
Who
can
wonder
that
he
was
becoming
reckless
?
A
little
more
of
such
a
life
would
have
transformed
him
into
a
brute
.
He
had
not
the
ability
to
become
revolutionary
,
or
it
would
have
made
him
a
conspirator
.
Suffering
of
any
kind
is
hard
to
bear
,
but
the
suffering
which
especially
damages
character
is
that
which
is
caused
by
the
neglect
or
oppression
of
man
.
At
any
rate
it
was
so
in
Taylor’s
case
.
I
believe
that
he
would
have
been
patient
under
any
inevitable
ordinance
of
nature
,
but
he
could
not
lie
still
under
contempt
,
the
knowledge
that
to
those
about
him
he
was
of
less
consequence
than
the
mud
under
their
feet
.
He
was
timid
and
,
after
his
failure
as
a
shopkeeper
,
and
the
near
approach
to
the
workhouse
,
he
dreaded
above
everything
being
again
cast
adrift
.
Strange
conflict
arose
in
him
,
for
the
insults
to
which
he
was
exposed
drove
him
almost
to
madness
;
and
yet
the
dread
of
dismissal
in
a
moment
checked
him
when
he
was
about
to
“
fire
up
,
”
as
he
called
it
,
and
reduced
him
to
a
silence
which
was
torture
.
Once
he
was
ordered
to
bring
some
coals
for
the
messenger’s
lobby
.
The
man
who
gave
him
the
order
,
finding
that
he
was
a
long
time
bringing
them
,
went
to
the
top
of
the
stairs
,
and
bawled
after
him
with
an
oath
to
make
haste
.
The
reason
of
the
delay
was
that
Taylor
had
two
loads
to
bring
up
—
one
for
somebody
else
.
When
he
got
to
the
top
of
the
steps
,
the
messenger
with
another
oath
took
the
coals
,
and
saying
that
he
“
would
teach
him
to
skulk
there
again
,
”
kicked
the
other
coal-scuttle
down
to
the
bottom
.
Taylor
himself
told
me
this
;
and
yet
,
although
he
would
have
rejoiced
if
the
man
had
dropped
down
dead
,
and
would
willingly
have
shot
him
,
he
was
dumb
.
The
check
operated
in
an
instant
.
He
saw
himself
without
a
penny
,
and
in
the
streets
.
He
went
down
into
the
cellar
,
and
raged
and
wept
for
an
hour
.
Had
he
been
a
workman
,
he
would
probably
have
throttled
his
enemy
,
or
tried
to
do
it
,
or
what
is
more
likely
,
his
enemy
would
not
have
dared
to
treat
him
in
such
fashion
,
but
he
was
powerless
,
and
once
losing
his
situation
he
would
have
sunk
down
into
the
gutter
,
whence
he
would
have
been
swept
by
the
parish
into
the
indiscriminate
heap
of
London
pauperism
,
and
carted
away
to
the
Union
,
a
conclusion
which
was
worse
to
him
than
being
hung
.
Another
of
our
friends
was
a
waiter
in
one
of
the
public-houses
and
chop-houses
combined
,
of
which
there
are
so
many
in
the
Strand
.
He
lived
in
a
wretched
alley
which
ran
from
St.
Clement’s
Church
to
Boswell
Court
—
I
have
forgotten
its
name
—
a
dark
crowded
passage
.
He
was
a
man
of
about
sixty
—
invariably
called
John
,
without
the
addition
of
any
surname
.
I
knew
him
long
before
we
opened
our
room
,
for
I
was
in
the
habit
of
frequently
visiting
the
chop-house
in
which
he
served
.
His
hours
were
incredible
.
He
began
at
nine
o’clock
in
the
morning
with
sweeping
the
dining-room
,
cleaning
the
tables
and
the
gas
globes
,
and
at
twelve
business
commenced
with
early
luncheons
.
Not
till
three-quarters
of
an
hour
after
midnight
could
he
leave
,
for
the
house
was
much
used
by
persons
who
supped
there
after
the
theatres
.
During
almost
the
whole
of
this
time
he
was
on
his
legs
,
and
very
often
he
was
unable
to
find
two
minutes
in
the
day
in
which
to
get
his
dinner
.
Sundays
,
however
,
were
free
.
John
was
not
a
head
waiter
,
but
merely
a
subordinate
,
and
I
never
knew
why
at
his
time
of
life
he
had
not
risen
to
a
better
position
.
He
used
to
say
that
“
things
had
been
against
him
,
”
and
I
had
no
right
to
seek
for
further
explanations
.
He
was
married
,
and
had
had
three
children
,
of
whom
one
only
was
living
—
a
boy
of
ten
years
old
,
whom
he
hoped
to
get
into
the
public-house
as
a
potboy
for
a
beginning
.
Like
Taylor
,
the
world
had
well-nigh
overpowered
John
entirely
—
crushed
him
out
of
all
shape
,
so
that
what
he
was
originally
,
or
might
have
been
,
it
was
almost
impossible
to
tell
.
There
was
no
particular
character
left
in
him
.
He
may
once
have
been
this
or
that
,
but
every
angle
now
was
knocked
off
,
as
it
is
knocked
off
from
the
rounded
pebbles
which
for
ages
have
been
dragged
up
and
down
the
beach
by
the
waves
.
For
a
lifetime
he
had
been
exposed
to
all
sorts
of
whims
and
caprices
,
generally
speaking
of
the
most
unreasonable
kind
,
and
he
had
become
so
trained
to
take
everything
without
remonstrance
or
murmuring
that
every
cross
in
his
life
came
to
him
as
a
chop
alleged
by
an
irritated
customer
to
be
raw
or
done
to
a
cinder
.
Poor
wretch
!
he
had
one
trouble
,
however
,
which
he
could
not
accept
with
such
equanimity
,
or
rather
with
such
indifference
.
His
wife
was
a
drunkard
.
This
was
an
awful
trial
to
him
.
The
worst
consequence
was
that
his
boy
knew
that
his
mother
got
drunk
.
The
neighbours
kindly
enough
volunteered
to
look
after
the
little
man
when
he
was
not
at
school
,
and
they
waylaid
him
and
gave
him
dinner
when
his
mother
was
intoxicated
;
but
frequently
he
was
the
first
when
he
returned
to
find
out
that
there
was
nothing
for
him
to
eat
,
and
many
a
time
he
got
up
at
night
as
late
as
twelve
o’clock
,
crawled
downstairs
,
and
went
off
to
his
father
to
tell
him
that
“
she
was
very
bad
,
and
he
could
not
go
to
sleep
.
”
The
father
,
then
,
had
to
keep
his
son
in
the
Strand
till
it
was
time
to
close
,
take
him
back
,
and
manage
in
the
best
way
he
could
.
Over
and
over
again
was
he
obliged
to
sit
by
this
wretched
woman’s
bedside
till
breakfast
time
,
and
then
had
to
go
to
work
as
usual
.
Let
anybody
who
has
seen
a
case
of
this
kind
say
whether
the
State
ought
not
to
provide
for
the
relief
of
such
men
as
John
,
and
whether
he
ought
not
to
have
been
able
to
send
his
wife
away
to
some
institution
where
she
might
have
been
tended
and
restrained
from
destroying
,
not
merely
herself
,
but
her
husband
and
her
child
.
John
hardly
bore
up
under
this
sorrow
.
A
man
may
endure
much
,
provided
he
knows
that
he
will
be
well
supported
when
his
day’s
toil
is
over
;
but
if
the
help
for
which
he
looks
fails
,
he
falls
.
Oh
those
weary
days
in
that
dark
back
dining-room
,
from
which
not
a
square
inch
of
sky
was
visible
!
weary
days
haunted
by
a
fear
that
while
he
was
there
unknown
mischief
was
being
done
!
weary
days
,
whose
close
nevertheless
he
dreaded
!
Beaten
down
,
baffled
,
disappointed
,
if
we
are
in
tolerable
health
we
can
contrive
to
live
on
some
almost
impossible
chance
,
some
most
distant
flicker
of
hope
.
It
is
astonishing
how
minute
a
crack
in
the
heavy
uniform
cloud
will
relieve
us
;
but
when
with
all
our
searching
we
can
see
nothing
,
then
at
last
we
sink
.
Such
was
John’s
case
when
I
first
came
to
know
him
.
He
attracted
me
rather
,
and
bit
by
bit
he
confided
his
story
to
me
.
He
found
out
that
I
might
be
trusted
,
and
that
I
could
sympathise
,
and
he
told
me
what
he
had
never
told
to
anybody
before
.
I
was
curious
to
discover
whether
religion
had
done
anything
for
him
,
and
I
put
the
question
to
him
in
an
indirect
way
.
His
answer
was
that
“
some
on
’em
say
there’s
a
better
world
where
everything
will
be
put
right
,
but
somehow
it
seemed
too
good
to
be
true
.
”
That
was
his
reason
for
disbelief
,
and
heaven
had
not
the
slightest
effect
on
him
.
He
found
out
the
room
,
and
was
one
of
our
most
constant
friends
.
Another
friend
was
of
a
totally
different
type
.
His
name
was
Cardinal
.
He
was
a
Yorkshireman
,
broad-shouldered
,
ruddy
in
the
face
,
short-necked
,
inclined
apparently
to
apoplexy
,
and
certainly
to
passion
.
He
was
a
commercial
traveller
in
the
cloth
trade
,
and
as
he
had
the
southern
counties
for
his
district
,
London
was
his
home
when
he
was
not
upon
his
journeys
.
His
wife
was
a
curious
contrast
to
him
.
She
was
dark-haired
,
pinched-up
,
thin-lipped
,
and
always
seemed
as
if
she
suffered
from
some
chronic
pain
or
gnawing
—
not
sufficient
to
make
her
ill
,
but
sufficient
to
make
her
miserable
.
They
had
no
children
.
Cardinal
in
early
life
had
been
a
member
of
an
orthodox
Dissenting
congregation
,
but
he
had
fallen
away
.
He
had
nobody
to
guide
him
,
and
the
position
into
which
he
fell
was
peculiar
.
He
never
busied
himself
about
religion
or
philosophy
;
indeed
he
had
had
no
training
which
would
have
led
him
to
take
an
interest
in
abstract
questions
,
but
he
read
all
kinds
of
romances
and
poetry
without
any
order
and
upon
no
system
.
He
had
no
discriminating
faculty
,
and
mixed
up
together
the
most
heterogeneous
mass
of
trumpery
novels
,
French
translations
,
and
the
best
English
authors
,
provided
only
they
were
unworldly
or
sentimental
.
Neither
did
he
know
how
far
to
take
what
he
read
and
use
it
in
his
daily
life
.
He
often
selected
some
fantastical
motive
which
he
had
found
set
forth
as
operative
in
one
of
his
heroes
,
and
he
brought
it
into
his
business
,
much
to
the
astonishment
of
his
masters
and
customers
.
For
this
reason
he
was
not
stable
.
He
changed
employers
two
or
three
times
;
and
,
so
far
as
I
could
make
out
,
his
ground
of
objection
to
each
of
the
firms
whom
he
left
might
have
been
a
ground
of
dislike
in
a
girl
to
a
suitor
,
but
certainly
nothing
more
.
During
the
intervals
of
his
engagements
,
unless
he
was
pressed
for
money
,
he
did
nothing
—
not
from
laziness
,
but
because
he
had
got
a
notion
in
his
head
that
his
mind
wanted
rest
and
reinvigoration
.
His
habit
then
was
to
consume
the
whole
day
—
day
after
day
—
in
reading
or
in
walking
out
by
himself
.
It
may
easily
be
supposed
that
with
a
temperament
like
his
,
and
with
nobody
near
him
to
take
him
by
the
hand
,
he
made
great
mistakes
.
His
wife
and
he
cared
nothing
for
one
another
,
but
she
was
jealous
to
the
last
degree
.
I
never
saw
such
jealousy
.
It
was
strange
that
,
although
she
almost
hated
him
,
she
watched
him
with
feline
sharpness
and
patience
,
and
would
even
have
killed
any
woman
whom
she
knew
had
won
his
affection
.
He
,
on
the
other
hand
,
openly
avowed
that
marriage
without
love
was
nothing
,
and
flaunted
without
the
least
modification
the
most
ideal
theories
as
to
the
relation
between
man
and
woman
.
Not
that
he
ever
went
actually
wrong
.
His
boyish
education
,
his
natural
purity
,
and
a
fear
never
wholly
suppressed
,
restrained
him
.
He
exasperated
people
by
his
impracticability
,
and
it
must
be
acknowledged
that
it
is
very
irritating
in
a
difficult
complexity
demanding
the
gravest
consideration
—
the
balancing
of
this
against
that
—
to
hear
a
man
suddenly
propose
some
naked
principle
with
which
everybody
is
acquainted
,
and
decide
by
it
solely
.
I
came
to
know
him
through
M’Kay
,
who
had
known
him
for
years
;
but
M’Kay
at
last
broke
out
against
him
,
and
called
him
a
stupid
fool
when
he
threw
up
a
handsome
salary
and
refused
to
serve
any
longer
under
a
house
which
had
always
treated
him
well
,
because
they
,
moving
with
the
times
,
had
determined
to
offer
their
customers
a
cheaper
description
of
goods
,
which
Cardinal
thought
was
dishonest
.
M’Kay
said
,
and
said
truly
,
that
many
poor
persons
would
buy
these
goods
who
could
buy
nothing
else
,
and
that
Cardinal
,
before
yielding
to
such
scruples
,
ought
to
satisfy
himself
that
,
by
yielding
,
he
would
not
become
a
burden
upon
others
less
fanciful
.
This
was
just
what
happened
.
Cardinal
could
get
no
work
again
for
a
long
time
,
and
had
to
borrow
money
.
I
was
sorry
;
but
for
my
part
,
this
and
other
eccentricities
did
not
disturb
my
confidence
in
him
.
He
was
an
honest
,
affectionate
soul
,
and
his
peculiarities
were
a
necessary
result
of
the
total
chaos
of
a
time
without
any
moral
guidance
.
With
no
church
,
no
philosophy
,
no
religion
,
the
wonder
is
that
anybody
on
whom
use
and
wont
relax
their
hold
should
ever
do
anything
more
than
blindly
rove
hither
and
thither
,
arriving
at
nothing
.
Cardinal
was
adrift
,
like
thousands
and
hundreds
of
thousands
of
others
,
and
amidst
the
storm
and
pitchy
darkness
of
the
night
,
thousands
and
hundreds
of
thousands
of
voices
offer
us
pilotage
.
It
spoke
well
for
him
that
he
did
nothing
worse
than
take
a
few
useless
phantoms
on
board
which
did
him
no
harm
,
and
that
he
held
fast
to
his
own
instinct
for
truth
and
goodness
.
I
never
let
myself
be
annoyed
by
what
he
produced
to
me
from
his
books
.
All
that
I
discarded
.
Underneath
all
that
was
a
solid
worth
which
I
loved
,
and
which
was
mostly
not
vocal
.
What
was
vocal
in
him
was
,
I
am
bound
to
say
,
not
of
much
value
.
About
the
time
when
our
room
opened
,
Mrs.
Cardinal
had
become
almost
insupportable
to
her
husband
.
Poor
woman
;
I
always
pitied
her
;
she
was
alone
sometimes
for
a
fortnight
at
a
stretch
;
she
read
nothing
;
there
was
no
child
to
occupy
her
thoughts
;
she
knew
that
her
husband
lived
in
a
world
into
which
she
never
entered
,
and
she
had
nothing
to
do
but
to
brood
over
imaginary
infidelities
.
She
was
literally
possessed
,
and
who
shall
be
hard
upon
her
?
Nobody
cared
for
her
;
everybody
with
whom
her
husband
associated
disliked
her
,
and
she
knew
perfectly
well
they
never
asked
her
to
their
houses
except
for
his
sake
.
Cardinal
vowed
at
last
he
would
endure
her
no
longer
,
and
that
they
must
separate
.
He
was
induced
one
Sunday
morning
,
when
his
resolution
was
strong
within
him
,
and
he
was
just
about
to
give
effect
to
it
,
to
come
with
us
.
The
quiet
seemed
to
soothe
him
,
and
he
went
home
with
me
afterwards
.
He
was
not
slow
to
disclose
to
me
his
miserable
condition
,
and
his
resolve
to
change
it
.
I
do
not
know
now
what
I
said
,
but
it
appeared
to
me
that
he
ought
not
to
change
it
,
and
that
change
would
be
for
him
most
perilous
.
I
thought
that
with
a
little
care
life
might
become
at
least
bearable
with
his
wife
;
that
by
treating
her
not
so
much
as
if
she
were
criminal
,
but
as
if
she
were
diseased
,
hatred
might
pass
into
pity
,
and
pity
into
merciful
tenderness
to
her
,
and
that
they
might
dwell
together
upon
terms
not
harder
than
those
upon
which
many
persons
who
have
made
mistakes
in
youth
agree
to
remain
with
each
other
;
terms
which
,
after
much
consideration
,
they
adjudge
it
better
to
accept
than
to
break
loose
,
and
bring
upon
themselves
and
those
connected
with
them
all
that
open
rupture
involves
.
The
difficulty
was
to
get
Cardinal
to
give
up
his
theory
of
what
two
abstract
human
beings
should
do
between
whom
no
love
exists
.
It
seemed
to
him
something
like
atheism
to
forsake
his
clearly-discerned
,
simple
rule
for
a
course
which
was
dictated
by
no
easily-grasped
higher
law
,
and
it
was
very
difficult
to
persuade
him
that
there
is
anything
of
equal
authority
in
a
law
less
rigid
in
its
outline
.
However
,
he
went
home
.
I
called
on
him
some
time
afterwards
,
and
saw
that
a
peace
,
or
at
any
rate
a
truce
,
was
proclaimed
,
which
lasted
up
to
the
day
of
his
death
.
M’Kay
and
I
agreed
to
make
as
much
of
Mrs.
Cardinal
as
we
could
,
and
yielding
to
urgent
invitation
,
she
came
to
the
room
.
This
wonderfully
helped
to
heal
her
.
She
began
to
feel
that
she
was
not
overlooked
,
put
on
one
side
,
or
despised
,
and
the
bonds
which
bound
her
constricted
lips
into
bitterness
were
loosened
.
Another
friend
,
and
the
last
whom
I
shall
name
,
was
a
young
man
named
Clark
.
He
was
lame
,
and
had
been
so
from
childhood
.
His
father
was
a
tradesman
,
working
hard
from
early
morning
till
late
at
night
,
and
burdened
with
a
number
of
children
.
The
boy
Richard
,
shut
out
from
the
companionship
of
his
fellows
,
had
a
great
love
of
books
.
When
he
left
school
his
father
did
not
know
what
to
do
with
him
—
in
fact
there
was
only
one
occupation
open
to
him
,
and
that
was
clerical
work
of
one
kind
or
another
.
At
last
he
got
a
place
in
a
house
in
Fleet
Street
,
which
did
a
large
business
in
those
days
in
sending
newspapers
into
the
country
.
His
whole
occupation
all
day
long
was
to
write
addresses
,
and
for
this
he
received
twenty-five
shillings
a
week
,
his
hours
being
from
nine
o’clock
till
seven
.
The
office
in
which
he
sat
was
crowded
,
and
in
order
to
squeeze
the
staff
into
the
smallest
space
,
rent
being
dear
,
a
gallery
had
been
run
round
the
wall
about
four
feet
from
the
ceiling
.
This
was
provided
with
desks
and
gas
lamps
,
and
up
there
Clark
sat
,
artificial
light
being
necessary
four
days
out
of
five
.
He
came
straight
from
the
town
in
which
his
father
lived
to
Fleet
Street
,
and
once
settled
in
it
there
seemed
no
chance
of
change
for
the
better
.
He
knew
what
his
father’s
struggles
were
;
he
could
not
go
back
to
him
,
and
he
had
not
the
energy
to
attempt
to
lift
himself
.
It
is
very
doubtful
too
whether
he
could
have
succeeded
in
achieving
any
improvement
,
whatever
his
energy
might
have
been
.
He
had
got
lodgings
in
Newcastle
Street
,
and
to
these
he
returned
in
the
evening
,
remaining
there
alone
with
his
little
library
,
and
seldom
moving
out
of
doors
.
He
was
unhealthy
constitutionally
,
and
his
habits
contributed
to
make
him
more
so
.
Everything
which
he
saw
which
was
good
seemed
only
to
sharpen
the
contrast
between
himself
and
his
lot
,
and
his
reading
was
a
curse
to
him
rather
than
a
blessing
.
I
sometimes
wished
that
he
had
never
inherited
any
love
whatever
for
what
is
usually
considered
to
be
the
Best
,
and
that
he
had
been
endowed
with
an
organisation
coarse
and
commonplace
,
like
that
of
his
colleagues
.
If
he
went
into
company
which
suited
him
,
or
read
anything
which
interested
him
,
it
seemed
as
if
the
ten
hours
of
the
gallery
in
Fleet
Street
had
been
made
thereby
only
the
more
insupportable
,
and
his
habitual
mood
was
one
of
despondency
,
so
that
his
fellow
clerks
who
knew
his
tastes
not
unnaturally
asked
what
was
the
use
of
them
if
they
only
made
him
wretched
;
and
they
were
more
than
ever
convinced
that
in
their
amusements
lay
true
happiness
.
Habit
,
which
is
the
saviour
of
most
of
us
,
the
opiate
which
dulls
the
otherwise
unbearable
miseries
of
life
,
only
served
to
make
Clark
more
sensitive
.
The
monotony
of
that
perpetual
address-copying
was
terrible
.
He
has
told
me
with
a
kind
of
shame
what
an
effect
it
had
upon
him
—
that
sometimes
for
days
he
would
feed
upon
the
prospect
of
the
most
childish
trifle
because
it
would
break
in
some
slight
degree
the
uniformity
of
his
toil
.
For
example
,
he
would
sometimes
change
from
quill
to
steel
pens
and
back
again
,
and
he
found
himself
actually
looking
forward
with
a
kind
of
joy
—
merely
because
of
the
variation
—
to
the
day
on
which
he
had
fixed
to
go
back
to
the
quill
after
using
steel
.
He
would
determine
,
two
or
three
days
beforehand
,
to
get
up
earlier
,
and
to
walk
to
Fleet
Street
by
way
of
Great
Queen
Street
and
Lincoln’s
Inn
Fields
,
and
upon
this
he
would
subsist
till
the
day
came
.
He
could
make
no
longer
excursions
because
of
his
lameness
.
All
this
may
sound
very
much
like
simple
silliness
to
most
people
,
but
those
who
have
not
been
bound
to
a
wheel
do
not
know
what
thoughts
come
into
the
head
of
the
strongest
man
who
is
extended
on
it
.
Clark
sat
side
by
side
in
his
gallery
with
other
young
men
of
rather
a
degraded
type
,
and
the
confinement
bred
in
them
a
filthy
grossness
with
which
they
tormented
him
.
They
excited
in
him
loathsome
images
,
from
which
he
could
not
free
himself
either
by
day
or
night
.
He
was
peculiarly
weak
in
his
inability
to
cast
off
impressions
,
or
to
get
rid
of
mental
pictures
when
once
formed
,
and
his
distress
at
being
haunted
by
these
hateful
,
disgusting
thoughts
was
pitiable
.
They
were
in
fact
almost
more
than
thoughts
,
they
were
transportations
out
of
himself
—
real
visions
.
It
would
have
been
his
salvation
if
he
could
have
been
a
carpenter
or
a
bricklayer
,
in
country
air
,
but
this
could
not
be
.
Clark
had
no
power
to
think
connectedly
to
a
conclusion
.
When
an
idea
came
into
his
head
,
he
dwelt
upon
it
incessantly
,
and
no
correction
of
the
false
path
upon
which
it
set
him
was
possible
,
because
he
avoided
society
.
Work
over
,
he
was
so
sick
of
people
that
he
went
back
to
himself
.
So
it
came
to
pass
that
when
brought
into
company
,
what
he
believed
and
cherished
was
frequently
found
to
be
open
to
obvious
objection
,
and
was
often
nothing
better
than
nonsense
which
was
rudely
,
and
as
he
himself
was
forced
to
admit
,
justly
overthrown
.
He
ought
to
have
been
surrounded
with
intelligent
friends
,
who
would
have
enabled
him
to
see
continually
the
other
side
,
and
who
would
have
prevented
his
long
and
useless
wanderings
.
Like
many
other
persons
,
too
,
whom
I
have
known
—
just
in
proportion
to
his
lack
of
penetrative
power
was
his
tendency
to
occupy
himself
with
difficult
questions
.
By
a
cruel
destiny
he
was
impelled
to
dabble
in
matters
for
which
he
was
totally
unfitted
.
He
never
could
go
beyond
his
author
a
single
step
,
and
he
lost
himself
in
endless
mazes
.
If
he
could
but
have
been
persuaded
to
content
himself
with
sweet
presentations
of
wholesome
happy
existence
,
with
stories
and
with
history
,
how
much
better
it
would
have
been
for
him
!
He
had
had
no
proper
training
whatever
for
anything
more
,
he
was
ignorant
of
the
exact
meaning
of
the
proper
terminology
of
science
,
and
an
unlucky
day
it
was
for
him
when
he
picked
up
on
a
bookstall
some
very
early
translation
of
some
German
book
on
philosophy
.
One
reason
,
as
may
be
conjectured
,
for
his
mistakes
was
his
education
in
dissenting
Calvinism
,
a
religion
which
is
entirely
metaphysical
,
and
encourages
,
unhappily
,
in
everybody
a
taste
for
tremendous
problems
.
So
long
as
Calvinism
is
unshaken
,
the
mischief
is
often
not
obvious
,
because
a
ready
solution
taken
on
trust
is
provided
;
but
when
doubts
arise
,
the
evil
results
become
apparent
,
and
the
poor
helpless
victim
,
totally
at
a
loss
,
is
torn
first
in
this
direction
and
then
in
the
other
,
and
cannot
let
these
questions
alone
.
He
has
been
taught
to
believe
they
are
connected
with
salvation
,
and
he
is
compelled
still
to
busy
himself
with
them
,
rather
than
with
simple
external
piety
.
CHAPTER
VI
DRURY
LANE
THEOLOGY
Such
were
some
of
our
disciples
.
I
do
not
think
that
church
or
chapel
would
have
done
them
much
good
.
Preachers
are
like
unskilled
doctors
with
the
same
pill
and
draught
for
every
complaint
.
They
do
not
know
where
the
fatal
spot
lies
on
lung
or
heart
or
nerve
which
robs
us
of
life
.
If
any
of
these
persons
just
described
had
gone
to
church
or
chapel
they
would
have
heard
discourses
on
the
usual
set
topics
,
none
of
which
would
have
concerned
them
.
Their
trouble
was
not
the
forgiveness
of
sins
,
the
fallacies
of
Arianism
,
the
personality
of
the
Holy
Ghost
,
or
the
doctrine
of
the
Eucharist
.
They
all
wanted
something
distinctly
.
They
had
great
gaping
needs
which
they
longed
to
satisfy
,
intensely
practical
and
special
.
Some
of
these
necessities
no
words
could
in
any
way
meet
.
It
was
obvious
,
for
instance
,
that
Clark
must
at
once
be
taken
away
from
his
gallery
and
his
copying
if
he
was
to
live
—
at
least
in
sanity
.
He
had
fortunately
learned
shorthand
,
and
M’Kay
got
him
employment
on
a
newspaper
.
His
knowledge
of
his
art
was
by
no
means
perfect
at
first
,
but
he
was
sent
to
attend
meetings
where
verbatim
reports
were
not
necessary
,
and
he
quickly
advanced
.
Taylor
,
too
,
we
tried
to
remove
,
and
we
succeeded
in
attaching
him
to
a
large
club
as
an
out-of-doors
porter
.
The
poor
man
was
now
at
least
in
the
open
air
,
and
freed
from
insolent
tyranny
.
This
,
however
,
was
help
such
as
anybody
might
have
given
.
The
question
of
most
importance
is
,
What
gospel
had
we
to
give
?
Why
,
in
short
,
did
we
meet
on
the
Sunday
?
What
was
our
justification
?
In
the
first
place
,
there
was
the
simple
quietude
.
The
retreat
from
the
streets
and
from
miserable
cares
into
a
place
where
there
was
peace
and
room
for
reflection
was
something
.
It
is
all
very
well
for
cultivated
persons
with
libraries
to
scoff
at
religious
services
.
To
the
poor
the
cathedral
or
the
church
might
be
an
immense
benefit
,
if
only
for
the
reason
that
they
present
a
barrier
to
worldly
noise
,
and
are
a
distinct
invitation
by
architecture
and
symbolic
decoration
to
meditation
on
something
beyond
the
business
which
presses
on
them
during
the
week
.
Poor
people
frequently
cannot
read
for
want
of
a
place
in
which
to
read
.
Moreover
,
they
require
to
be
provoked
by
a
stronger
stimulus
than
that
of
a
book
.
They
willingly
hear
a
man
talk
if
he
has
anything
to
say
,
when
they
would
not
care
to
look
at
what
he
said
if
it
were
printed
.
But
to
come
more
closely
to
the
point
.
Our
main
object
was
to
create
in
our
hearers
contentment
with
their
lot
;
and
even
some
joy
in
it
.
That
was
our
religion
;
that
was
the
central
thought
of
all
we
said
and
did
,
giving
shape
and
tendency
to
everything
.
We
admitted
nothing
which
did
not
help
us
in
that
direction
,
and
everything
which
did
help
us
.
Our
attempts
,
to
any
one
who
had
not
the
key
,
may
have
seemed
vague
and
desultory
.
We
might
by
a
stranger
have
been
accused
of
feeble
wandering
,
of
idle
dabbling
,
now
in
this
subject
and
now
in
that
,
but
after
a
while
he
would
have
found
that
though
we
were
weak
creatures
,
with
no
pretence
to
special
knowledge
in
any
subject
,
we
at
least
knew
what
we
meant
,
and
tried
to
accomplish
it
.
For
my
own
part
,
I
was
happy
when
I
had
struck
that
path
.
I
felt
as
if
somehow
,
after
many
errors
,
I
had
once
more
gained
a
road
,
a
religion
in
fact
,
and
one
which
essentially
was
not
new
but
old
,
the
religion
of
the
Reconciliation
,
the
reconciliation
of
man
with
God
;
differing
from
the
current
creed
in
so
far
as
I
did
not
lay
stress
upon
sin
as
the
cause
of
estrangement
,
but
yet
agreeing
with
it
in
making
it
my
duty
of
duties
to
suppress
revolt
,
and
to
submit
calmly
and
sometimes
cheerfully
to
the
Creator
.
This
surely
,
under
a
thousand
disguises
,
has
been
the
meaning
of
all
the
forms
of
worship
which
we
have
seen
in
the
world
.
Pain
and
death
are
nothing
new
,
and
men
have
been
driven
into
perplexed
scepticism
,
and
even
insurrection
by
them
,
ever
since
men
came
into
being
.
Always
,
however
,
have
the
majority
,
the
vast
majority
of
the
race
,
felt
instinctively
that
in
this
scepticism
and
insurrection
they
could
not
abide
,
and
they
have
struggled
more
or
less
blindly
after
explanation
;
determined
not
to
desist
till
they
had
found
it
,
and
reaching
a
result
embodied
in
a
multitude
of
shapes
irrational
and
absurd
to
the
superficial
scoffer
,
but
of
profound
interest
to
the
thoughtful
.
I
may
observe
,
in
passing
,
that
this
is
a
reason
why
all
great
religions
should
be
treated
with
respect
,
and
in
a
certain
sense
preserved
.
It
is
nothing
less
than
a
wicked
waste
of
accumulated
human
strivings
to
sneer
them
out
of
existence
.
They
will
be
found
,
every
one
of
them
,
to
have
incarnated
certain
vital
doctrines
which
it
has
cost
centuries
of
toil
and
devotion
properly
to
appreciate
.
Especially
is
this
true
of
the
Catholic
faith
,
and
if
it
were
worth
while
,
it
might
be
shown
how
it
is
nothing
less
than
a
divine
casket
of
precious
remedies
,
and
if
it
is
to
be
brutally
broken
,
it
will
take
ages
to
rediscover
and
restore
them
.
Of
one
thing
I
am
certain
,
that
their
rediscovery
and
restoration
will
be
necessary
.
I
cannot
too
earnestly
insist
upon
the
need
of
our
holding
,
each
man
for
himself
,
by
some
faith
which
shall
anchor
him
.
It
must
not
be
taken
up
by
chance
.
We
must
fight
for
it
,
for
only
so
will
it
become
our
faith
.
The
halt
in
indifference
or
in
hostility
is
easy
enough
and
seductive
enough
.
The
half-hearted
thinks
that
when
he
has
attained
that
stage
he
has
completed
the
term
of
human
wisdom
.
I
say
go
on
:
do
not
stay
there
;
do
not
take
it
for
granted
that
there
is
nothing
beyond
;
incessantly
attempt
an
advance
,
and
at
last
a
light
,
dim
it
may
be
,
will
arise
.
It
will
not
be
a
completed
system
,
perfect
in
all
points
,
an
answer
to
all
our
questions
,
but
at
least
it
will
give
ground
for
hope
.
We
had
to
face
the
trials
of
our
friends
,
and
we
had
to
face
death
.
I
do
not
say
for
an
instant
that
we
had
any
effectual
reply
to
these
great
arguments
against
us
.
We
never
so
much
as
sought
for
one
,
knowing
how
all
men
had
sought
and
failed
.
But
we
were
able
to
say
there
is
some
compensation
,
that
there
is
another
side
,
and
this
is
all
that
man
can
say
.
No
theory
of
the
world
is
possible
.
The
storm
,
the
rain
slowly
rotting
the
harvest
,
children
sickening
in
cellars
are
obvious
;
but
equally
obvious
are
an
evening
in
June
,
the
delight
of
men
and
women
in
one
another
,
in
music
,
and
in
the
exercise
of
thought
.
There
can
surely
be
no
question
that
the
sum
of
satisfaction
is
increasing
,
not
merely
in
the
gross
but
for
each
human
being
,
as
the
earth
from
which
we
sprang
is
being
worked
out
of
the
race
,
and
a
higher
type
is
being
developed
.
I
may
observe
,
too
,
that
although
it
is
usually
supposed
,
it
is
erroneously
supposed
,
that
it
is
pure
doubt
which
disturbs
or
depresses
us
.
Simple
suspense
is
in
fact
very
rare
,
for
there
are
few
persons
so
constituted
as
to
be
able
to
remain
in
it
.
It
is
dogmatism
under
the
cloak
of
doubt
which
pulls
us
down
.
It
is
the
dogmatism
of
death
,
for
example
,
which
we
have
to
avoid
.
The
open
grave
is
dogmatic
,
and
we
say
that
man
has
gone
,
but
this
is
as
much
a
transgression
of
the
limits
of
certitude
as
if
we
were
to
say
he
is
an
angel
in
bliss
.
The
proper
attitude
,
the
attitude
enjoined
by
the
severest
exercise
of
the
reason
is
,
I
do
not
know
;
and
in
this
there
is
an
element
of
hope
,
now
rising
and
now
falling
,
but
always
sufficient
to
prevent
that
blank
despair
which
we
must
feel
if
we
consider
it
as
settled
that
when
we
lie
down
under
the
grass
there
is
an
absolute
end
.
The
provision
in
nature
of
infinity
ever
present
to
us
is
an
immense
help
.
No
man
can
look
up
to
the
stars
at
night
and
reflect
upon
what
lies
behind
them
without
feeling
that
the
tyranny
of
the
senses
is
loosened
,
and
the
tyranny
,
too
,
of
the
conclusions
of
his
logic
.
The
beyond
and
the
beyond
,
let
us
turn
it
over
as
we
may
,
let
us
consider
it
as
a
child
considers
it
,
or
by
the
light
of
the
newest
philosophy
,
is
a
constant
,
visible
warning
not
to
make
our
minds
the
measure
of
the
universe
.
Underneath
the
stars
what
dreams
,
what
conjectures
arise
,
shadowy
enough
,
it
is
true
;
but
one
thing
we
cannot
help
believing
as
irresistibly
as
if
by
geometrical
deduction
—
that
the
sphere
of
that
understanding
of
ours
,
whose
function
it
seems
to
be
to
imprison
us
,
is
limited
.
Going
through
a
churchyard
one
afternoon
I
noticed
that
nearly
all
the
people
who
were
buried
there
,
if
the
inscriptions
on
the
tombstones
might
be
taken
to
represent
the
thoughts
of
the
departed
when
they
were
alive
,
had
been
intent
solely
on
their
own
personal
salvation
.
The
question
with
them
all
seemed
to
have
been
,
shall
I
go
to
heaven
?
Considering
the
tremendous
difference
between
heaven
and
hell
in
the
popular
imagination
,
it
was
very
natural
that
these
poor
creatures
should
be
anxious
above
everything
to
know
whether
they
would
be
in
hell
or
heaven
for
ever
.
Surely
,
however
,
this
is
not
the
highest
frame
of
mind
,
nor
is
it
one
to
be
encouraged
.
I
would
rather
do
all
I
can
to
get
out
of
it
,
and
to
draw
others
out
of
it
too
.
Our
aim
ought
not
so
much
to
be
the
salvation
of
this
poor
petty
self
,
but
of
that
in
me
which
alone
makes
it
worth
while
to
save
me
;
of
that
alone
which
I
hope
will
be
saved
,
immortal
truth
.
The
very
centre
of
the
existence
of
the
ordinary
chapel-goer
and
church-goer
needs
to
be
shifted
from
self
to
what
is
outside
self
,
and
yet
is
truly
self
,
and
the
sole
truth
of
self
.
If
the
truth
lives
,
we
live
,
and
if
it
dies
,
we
are
dead
.
Our
theology
stands
in
need
of
a
reformation
greater
than
that
of
Luther’s
.
It
may
be
said
that
the
attempt
to
replace
the
care
for
self
in
us
by
a
care
for
the
universal
is
ridiculous
.
Man
cannot
rise
to
that
height
.
I
do
not
believe
it
.
I
believe
we
can
rise
to
it
.
Every
ordinary
unselfish
act
is
a
proof
of
the
capacity
to
rise
to
it
;
and
the
mother’s
denial
of
all
care
for
her
own
happiness
,
if
she
can
but
make
her
child
happy
,
is
a
sublime
anticipation
.
It
may
be
called
an
instinct
,
but
in
the
course
of
time
it
will
be
possible
to
develop
a
wider
instinct
in
us
,
so
that
our
love
for
the
truth
shall
be
even
maternally
passionate
and
self-forgetting
.
After
all
our
searching
it
was
difficult
to
find
anything
which
,
in
the
case
of
a
man
like
John
the
waiter
,
for
example
,
could
be
of
any
service
to
him
.
At
his
age
efficient
help
was
beyond
us
,
and
in
his
case
the
problem
presented
itself
in
its
simple
nakedness
.
What
comfort
is
there
discoverable
for
the
wretched
which
is
not
based
upon
illusion
?
We
could
not
tell
him
that
all
he
endured
was
right
and
proper
.
But
even
to
him
we
were
able
to
offer
something
.
We
did
all
we
could
to
soothe
him
.
On
the
Sunday
,
at
least
,
he
was
able
to
find
some
relief
from
his
labours
,
and
he
entered
into
a
different
region
.
He
came
to
see
us
in
the
afternoon
and
evening
occasionally
,
and
brought
his
boy
.
Father
and
son
were
pulled
up
out
of
the
vault
,
brought
into
the
daylight
,
and
led
into
an
open
expanse
.
We
tried
above
everything
to
interest
them
,
even
in
the
smallest
degree
,
in
what
is
universal
and
impersonal
,
feeling
that
in
that
direction
lies
healing
.
We
explained
to
the
child
as
well
as
we
could
some
morsels
of
science
,
and
in
explaining
to
him
we
explained
to
the
father
as
well
.
When
the
anguish
begotten
by
some
outbreak
on
the
part
of
the
wife
more
violent
than
usual
became
almost
too
much
to
bear
,
we
did
our
best
to
counsel
,
and
as
a
last
consolation
we
could
point
to
Death
,
divine
Death
,
and
repose
.
It
was
but
for
a
few
more
years
at
the
utmost
,
and
then
must
come
a
rest
which
no
sorrow
could
invade
.
“
Having
death
as
an
ally
,
I
do
not
tremble
at
shadows
,
”
is
an
immortal
quotation
from
some
unknown
Greek
author
.
Providence
,
too
,
by
no
miracle
,
came
to
our
relief
.
The
wife
died
,
as
it
was
foreseen
she
must
,
and
that
weight
being
removed
,
some
elasticity
and
recoil
developed
itself
.
John’s
one
thought
now
was
for
his
child
,
and
by
means
of
the
child
the
father
passed
out
of
himself
,
and
connected
himself
with
the
future
.
The
child
did
in
fact
teach
the
father
exactly
what
we
tried
to
teach
,
and
taught
it
with
a
power
of
conviction
which
never
could
have
been
produced
by
any
mere
appeals
to
the
reason
.
The
