Mr.Weevle
returns
,
“
William
,
I
should
have
thought
it
would
have
been
a
lesson
to
you
never
to
conspire
any
more
as
long
as
you
lived
.
”
To
which
Mr.
Guppy
says
,
“
Who
's
conspiring
?
”
To
which
Mr.
Jobling
replies
,
“
Why
,
you
are
!
”
To
which
Mr.
Guppy
retorts
,
“
No
,
I
am
not
.
”
To
which
Mr.
Jobling
retorts
again
,
“
Yes
,
you
are
!
”
To
which
Mr.
Guppy
retorts
,
“
Who
says
so
?
”
To
which
Mr.
Jobling
retorts
,
“
I
say
so
!
”
To
which
Mr.
Guppy
retorts
,
“
Oh
,
indeed
?
”
To
which
Mr.
Jobling
retorts
,
“
Yes
,
indeed
!
”
And
both
being
now
in
a
heated
state
,
they
walk
on
silently
for
a
while
,
to
cool
down
again
.
“
Tony
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
then
,
“
if
you
heard
your
friend
out
,
instead
of
flying
at
him
,
you
would
n't
fall
into
mistakes
.
But
your
temper
is
hasty
,
and
you
are
not
considerate
.
Possessing
in
yourself
,
Tony
,
all
that
is
calculated
to
charm
the
eye
—
”
“
Oh
!
Blow
the
eye
!
”
cries
Mr.
Weevle
,
cutting
him
short
.
“
Say
what
you
have
got
to
say
!
”
Finding
his
friend
in
this
morose
and
material
condition
,
Mr.
Guppy
only
expresses
the
finer
feelings
of
his
soul
through
the
tone
of
injury
in
which
he
recommences
:
“
Tony
,
when
I
say
there
is
a
point
on
which
we
must
come
to
an
understanding
pretty
soon
,
I
say
so
quite
apart
from
any
kind
of
conspiring
,
however
innocent
.
You
know
it
is
professionally
arranged
beforehand
,
in
all
cases
that
are
tried
,
what
facts
the
witnesses
are
to
prove
.
Is
it
,
or
is
it
not
,
desirable
that
we
should
know
what
facts
we
are
to
prove
,
on
the
inquiry
into
the
death
of
this
unfortunate
old
Mo
—
gentleman
?
”
(
Mr.
Guppy
was
going
to
say
,
Mogul
,
but
thinks
gentleman
better
suited
to
the
circumstances
.
)
“
What
facts
?
The
facts
.
”
“
The
facts
bearing
on
that
inquiry
.
Those
are
—
”
Mr.
Guppy
tells
them
off
on
his
fingers
.
—
“
what
we
knew
of
his
habits
;
when
you
saw
him
last
;
what
his
condition
was
then
;
the
discovery
that
we
made
,
and
how
we
made
it
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
says
Mr.
Weevle
.
“
Those
are
about
the
facts
.
”
“
We
made
the
discovery
,
in
consequence
of
his
having
,
in
his
eccentric
way
,
an
appointment
with
you
for
twelve
o'clock
at
night
,
when
you
were
to
explain
some
writing
to
him
,
as
you
had
often
done
before
,
on
account
of
his
not
being
able
to
read
.
I
,
spending
the
evening
with
you
,
was
called
down
—
and
so
forth
.
The
inquiry
being
only
into
the
circumstances
touching
the
death
of
the
deceased
,
it
's
not
necessary
to
go
beyond
these
facts
,
I
suppose
you
'll
agree
?
”
“
No
!
”
returns
Mr.
Weevle
.
“
I
suppose
not
.
”
“
And
this
is
not
a
conspiracy
,
perhaps
?
”
says
the
injured
Guppy
.
“
No
,
”
returns
his
friend
;
“
if
it
's
nothing
worse
than
this
,
I
withdraw
the
observation
.
”
“
Now
,
Tony
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
taking
his
arm
again
,
and
walking
him
slowly
on
,
“
I
should
like
to
know
,
in
a
friendly
way
,
whether
you
have
yet
thought
over
the
many
advantages
of
your
continuing
to
live
at
that
place
?
”
“
What
do
you
mean
?
”
says
Tony
,
stopping
.
“
Whether
you
have
yet
thought
over
the
many
advantages
of
your
continuing
to
live
at
that
place
?
”
repeats
Mr.
Guppy
,
walking
him
on
again
.
“
At
what
place
?
That
place
?
”
pointing
in
the
direction
of
the
rag
and
bottle
shop
.
Mr.
Guppy
nods
.
“
Why
,
I
would
n't
pass
another
night
there
,
for
any
consideration
that
you
could
offer
me
,
”
says
Mr.
Weevle
,
haggardly
staring
.
“
Do
you
mean
it
though
,
Tony
?
”
“
Mean
it
!
Do
I
look
as
if
I
mean
it
?
I
feel
as
if
I
do
;
I
know
that
”
says
Mr.
Weevle
,
with
a
very
genuine
shudder
.
“
Then
the
possibility
,
or
probability
—
for
such
it
must
be
considered
—
of
your
never
being
disturbed
in
possession
of
those
effects
,
lately
belonging
to
a
lone
old
man
who
seemed
to
have
no
relation
in
the
world
;
and
the
certainty
of
your
being
able
to
find
out
what
he
really
had
got
stored
up
there
;
do
n't
weigh
with
you
at
all
against
last
night
,
Tony
,
if
I
understand
you
?
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
biting
his
thumb
with
the
appetite
of
vexation
.
“
Certainly
not
.
Talk
in
that
cool
way
of
a
fellow
's
living
there
?
”
cries
Mr.
Weevle
,
indignantly
.
“
Go
and
live
there
yourself
.
”
“
O
!
I
,
Tony
!
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
soothing
him
.
“
I
have
never
lived
there
,
and
could
n't
get
a
lodging
there
now
;
whereas
you
have
got
one
.
”
“
You
are
welcome
to
it
,
”
rejoins
his
friend
,
“
and
—
ugh
!
—
you
may
make
yourself
at
home
in
it
.
”
“
Then
you
really
and
truly
at
this
point
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
give
up
the
whole
thing
,
if
I
understand
you
,
Tony
?
”
“
You
never
,
”
returns
Tony
,
with
a
most
convincing
stedfastness
,
“
said
a
truer
word
in
all
your
life
.
I
do
!
”
While
they
are
so
conversing
,
a
hackney-coach
drives
into
the
square
,
on
the
box
of
which
vehicle
a
very
tall
hat
makes
itself
manifest
to
the
public
.
Inside
the
coach
,
and
consequently
not
so
manifest
to
the
multitude
,
though
sufficiently
so
to
the
two
friends
,
for
the
coach
stops
almost
at
their
feet
,
are
the
venerable
Mr.
Smallweed
and
Mrs.
Smallweed
,
accompanied
by
their
grand-daughter
Judy
.
An
air
of
haste
and
excitement
pervades
the
party
;
and
as
the
tall
hat
(
surmounting
Mr.
Smallweed
the
younger
)
alights
,
Mr.
Smallweed
the
elder
pokes
his
head
out
of
window
,
and
bawls
to
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
How
de
do
,
sir
!
How
de
do
!
”
“
What
do
Chick
and
his
family
want
here
at
this
time
of
the
morning
,
I
wonder
!
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
nodding
to
his
familiar
.
“
My
dear
sir
,
”
cries
Grandfather
Smallweed
,
“
would
you
do
me
a
favor
?
Would
you
and
your
friend
be
so
very
obleeging
as
to
carry
me
into
the
public-house
in
the
court
,
while
Bart
and
his
sister
bring
their
grandmother
along
?
Would
you
do
an
old
man
that
good
turn
,
sir
?
”
Mr.
Guppy
looks
at
his
friend
,
repeating
inquiringly
,
“
the
public-house
in
the
court
?
”
And
they
prepare
to
bear
the
venerable
burden
to
the
Sol
's
Arms
.
“
There
's
your
fare
!
”
says
the
Patriarch
to
the
coachman
with
a
fierce
grin
,
and
shaking
his
incapable
fist
at
him
.
“
Ask
me
for
a
penny
more
,
and
I
'll
have
my
lawful
revenge
upon
you
.
My
dear
young
men
,
be
easy
with
me
,
if
you
please
.
Allow
me
to
catch
you
round
the
neck
.
I
wo
n't
squeeze
you
tighter
than
I
can
help
.
O
Lord
!
O
dear
me
!
O
my
bones
!
”
It
is
well
that
the
Sol
is
not
far
off
,
for
Mr.
Weevle
presents
an
apoplectic
appearance
before
half
the
distance
is
accomplished
.
With
no
worse
aggravation
of
his
symptoms
,
however
,
than
the
utterance
of
divers
croaking
sounds
,
expressive
of
obstructed
respiration
,
he
fulfils
his
share
of
the
porterage
,
and
the
benevolent
old
gentleman
is
deposited
by
his
own
desire
in
the
parlor
of
the
Sol
's
Arms
.
“
O
Lord
!
”
gasps
Mr.
Smallweed
,
looking
about
him
,
breathless
,
from
an
arm-chair
.
“
O
dear
me
!
O
my
bones
and
back
!
O
my
aches
and
pains
!
Sit
down
,
you
dancing
,
prancing
,
shambling
,
scrambling
poll
parrot
!
Sit
down
!
”
This
little
apostrophe
to
Mrs.
Smallweed
is
occasioned
by
a
propensity
on
the
part
of
that
unlucky
old
lady
,
whenever
she
finds
herself
on
her
feet
,
to
amble
about
,
and
“
set
”
to
inanimate
objects
,
accompanying
herself
with
a
chattering
noise
,
as
in
a
witch
dance
.
A
nervous
affection
has
probably
as
much
to
do
with
these
demonstrations
,
as
any
imbecile
intention
in
the
poor
old
woman
;
but
on
the
present
occasion
they
are
so
particularly
lively
in
connexion
with
a
Windsor
arm-chair
,
fellow
to
that
in
which
Mr.
Smallweed
is
seated
,
that
she
only
quite
desists
when
her
grandchildren
have
held
her
down
in
it
:
her
lord
in
the
meanwhile
bestowing
upon
her
,
with
great
volubility
,
the
endearing
epithet
of
“
a
pig-headed
Jackdaw
,
”
repeated
a
surprising
number
of
times
.
“
My
dear
sir
,
”
Grandfather
Smallweed
then
proceeds
,
addressing
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
there
has
been
a
calamity
here
.
Have
you
heard
of
it
,
either
of
you
?
”
“
Heard
of
it
,
sir
!
Why
we
discovered
it
.
”
“
You
discovered
it
.
You
two
discovered
it
!
Bart
,
they
discovered
it
!
”
The
two
discoverers
stare
at
the
Smallweeds
,
who
return
the
compliment
.
“
My
dear
friends
,
”
whines
Grandfather
Smallweed
,
putting
out
both
his
hands
,
“
I
owe
you
a
thousand
thanks
for
discharging
the
melancholy
office
of
discovering
the
ashes
of
Mrs.
Smallweed
's
brother
.
”
“
Eh
?
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
.
“
Mrs.
Smallweed
's
brother
,
my
dear
friend
—
her
only
relation
.
We
were
not
on
terms
,
which
is
to
be
deplored
now
,
but
he
never
would
be
on
terms
.
He
was
not
fond
of
us
.
He
was
eccentric
—
he
was
very
eccentric
.
Unless
he
has
left
a
will
(
which
is
not
at
all
likely
)
I
shall
take
out
letters
of
administration
.
I
have
come
down
to
look
after
the
property
;
it
must
be
sealed
up
,
it
must
be
protected
.
I
have
come
down
,
”
repeats
Grandfather
Smallweed
,
hooking
the
air
towards
him
with
all
his
ten
fingers
at
once
,
“
to
look
after
the
property
.
”
“
I
think
,
Small
,
”
says
the
disconsolate
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
you
might
have
mentioned
that
the
old
man
was
your
uncle
.
”
“
You
two
were
so
close
about
him
that
I
thought
you
would
like
me
to
be
the
same
,
”
returns
that
old
bird
,
with
a
secretly
glistening
eye
.
“
Besides
,
I
was
n't
proud
of
him
.
”
“
Besides
which
,
it
was
nothing
to
you
,
you
know
,
whether
he
was
or
not
,
”
says
Judy
.
Also
with
a
secretly
glistening
eye
.
“
He
never
saw
me
in
his
life
,
to
know
me
,
”
observes
Small
;
“
I
do
n't
know
why
I
should
introduce
him
,
I
am
sure
!
”
“
No
,
he
never
communicated
with
us
—
which
is
to
be
deplored
,
”
the
old
gentleman
strikes
in
;
“
but
I
have
come
to
look
after
the
property
—
to
look
over
the
papers
,
and
to
look
after
the
property
.
We
shall
make
good
our
title
.
It
is
in
the
hands
of
my
solicitor
.
Mr.
Tulkinghorn
,
of
Lincoln
's
Inn
Fields
,
over
the
way
there
,
is
so
good
as
to
act
as
my
solicitor
;
and
grass
do
n't
grow
under
his
feet
,
I
can
tell
ye
.
Krook
was
Mrs.
Smallweed
's
only
brother
;
she
had
no
relation
but
Krook
,
and
Krook
had
no
relation
but
Mrs.
Smallweed
.
I
am
speaking
of
your
brother
,
you
brimstone
black-beetle
,
that
was
seventy-six
years
of
age
.
”
Mrs.
Smallweed
instantly
begins
to
shake
her
head
,
and
pipe
up
,
“
Seventy-six
pound
seven
and
sevenpence
!
Seventy-six
thousand
bags
of
money
!
Seventy-six
hundred
thousand
million
of
parcels
of
bank
notes
!
”
“
Will
somebody
give
me
a
quart
pot
?
”
exclaims
her
exasperated
husband
,
looking
helplessly
about
him
,
and
finding
no
missile
within
his
reach
.
“
Will
somebody
obleege
me
with
a
spittoon
?
Will
somebody
hand
me
anything
hard
and
bruising
to
pelt
at
her
?
You
hag
,
you
cat
,
you
dog
,
you
brimstone
barker
!
”
Here
Mr.
Smallweed
,
wrought
up
to
the
highest
pitch
by
his
own
eloquence
,
actually
throws
Judy
at
her
grandmother
in
default
of
anything
else
,
by
butting
that
young
virgin
at
the
old
lady
with
such
force
as
he
can
muster
,
and
then
dropping
into
his
chair
in
a
heap
.
“
Shake
me
up
,
somebody
,
if
you
'll
be
so
good
,
”
says
the
voice
from
within
the
faintly
struggling
bundle
into
which
he
has
collapsed
.
“
I
have
come
to
look
after
the
property
.
Shake
me
up
;
and
call
in
the
police
on
duty
at
the
next
house
,
to
be
explained
to
about
the
property
.
My
solicitor
will
be
here
presently
to
protect
the
property
.
Transportation
or
the
gallows
for
anybody
who
shall
touch
the
property
!
”
As
his
dutiful
grandchildren
set
him
up
,
panting
,
and
put
him
through
the
usual
restorative
process
of
shaking
and
punching
,
he
still
repeats
like
an
echo
,
“
the
—
the
property
!
The
property
!
—
property
!
”
Mr.
Weevle
and
Mr.
Guppy
look
at
each
other
;
the
former
as
having
relinquished
the
whole
affair
;
the
latter
with
a
discomfited
countenance
,
as
having
entertained
some
lingering
expectations
yet
.
But
there
is
nothing
to
be
done
in
opposition
to
the
Smallweed
interest
.
Mr.
Tulkinghorn
's
clerk
comes
down
from
his
official
pew
in
the
chambers
,
to
mention
to
the
police
that
Mr.
Tulkinghorn
is
answerable
for
its
being
all
correct
about
the
next
of
kin
,
and
that
the
papers
and
effects
will
be
formally
taken
possession
of
in
due
time
and
course
.
Mr.
Smallweed
is
at
once
permitted
so
far
to
assert
his
supremacy
as
to
be
carried
on
a
visit
of
sentiment
into
the
next
house
,
and
upstairs
into
Miss
Flite
's
deserted
room
,
where
he
looks
like
a
hideous
bird
of
prey
newly
added
to
her
aviary
.
The
arrival
of
this
unexpected
heir
soon
taking
wind
in
the
court
,
still
makes
good
for
the
Sol
,
and
keeps
the
court
upon
its
mettle
.
Mrs.
Piper
and
Mrs.
Perkins
think
it
hard
upon
the
young
man
if
there
really
is
no
will
,
and
consider
that
a
handsome
present
ought
to
be
made
him
out
of
the
estate
.
Young
Piper
and
Young
Perkins
,
as
members
of
that
restless
juvenile
circle
which
is
the
terror
of
the
foot-passengers
in
Chancery
Lane
,
crumble
into
ashes
behind
the
pump
and
under
the
archway
,
all
day
long
;
where
wild
yells
and
hootings
take
place
over
their
remains
.
Little
Swills
and
Miss
M
.
Melvilleson
enter
into
affable
conversation
with
their
patrons
,
feeling
that
these
unusual
occurrences
level
the
barriers
between
professionals
and
non-professionals
.
Mr.
Bogsby
puts
up
“
The
popular
song
of
KING
DEATH
!
with
chorus
by
the
whole
strength
of
the
company
,
”
as
the
great
Harmonic
feature
of
the
week
;
and
announces
in
the
bill
that
“
J
.
G
.
B
.
is
induced
to
do
so
at
a
considerable
extra
expense
,
in
consequence
of
a
wish
which
has
been
very
generally
expressed
at
the
bar
by
a
large
body
of
respectable
individuals
and
in
homage
to
a
late
melancholy
event
which
has
aroused
so
much
sensation
.
”
There
is
one
point
connected
with
the
deceased
,
upon
which
the
court
is
particularly
anxious
;
namely
that
the
fiction
of
a
full-sized
coffin
should
be
preserved
,
though
there
is
so
little
to
put
in
it
.
Upon
the
undertaker
's
stating
in
the
Sol
's
bar
in
the
course
of
the
day
,
that
he
has
received
orders
to
construct
“
a
six-footer
,
”
the
general
solicitude
is
much
relieved
,
and
it
is
considered
that
Mr.
Smallweed
's
conduct
does
him
great
honour
.
Out
of
the
court
,
and
a
long
way
out
of
it
,
there
is
considerable
excitement
too
;
for
men
of
science
and
philosophy
come
to
look
,
and
carriages
set
down
doctors
at
the
corner
who
arrive
with
the
same
intent
,
and
there
is
more
learned
talk
about
inflammable
gases
and
phosphuretted
hydrogen
than
the
court
has
ever
imagined
.
Some
of
these
authorities
(
of
course
the
wisest
)
hold
with
indignation
that
the
deceased
had
no
business
to
die
in
the
alleged
manner
;
and
being
reminded
by
other
authorities
of
a
certain
inquiry
into
the
evidence
for
such
deaths
,
reprinted
in
the
sixth
volume
of
the
Philosophical
Transactions
;
and
also
of
a
book
not
quite
unknown
,
on
English
Medical
Jurisprudence
;
and
likewise
of
the
Italian
case
of
the
Countess
Cornelia
Baudi
as
set
forth
in
detail
by
one
Bianchini
,
prebendary
of
Verona
,
who
wrote
a
scholarly
work
or
so
,
and
was
occasionally
heard
of
in
his
time
as
having
gleams
of
reason
in
him
;
and
also
of
the
testimony
of
Messrs.
Foderé
and
Mere
,
two
pestilent
Frenchmen
who
would
investigate
the
subject
;
and
further
,
of
the
corroborative
testimony
of
Monsieur
Le
Cat
,
a
rather
celebrated
French
surgeon
once
upon
a
time
,
who
had
the
unpoliteness
to
live
in
a
house
where
such
a
case
occurred
,
and
even
to
write
an
account
of
it
;
—
still
they
regard
the
late
Mr.
Krook
's
obstinacy
,
in
going
out
of
the
world
by
any
such
byeway
,
as
wholly
unjustifiable
and
personally
offensive
.
The
less
the
court
understands
of
all
this
,
the
more
the
court
likes
it
;
and
the
greater
enjoyment
it
has
in
the
stock
in
trade
of
the
Sol
's
Arms
.
Then
,
there
comes
the
artist
of
a
picture
newspaper
,
with
a
foreground
and
figures
ready
drawn
for
anything
,
from
a
wreck
on
the
Cornish
coast
to
a
review
in
Hyde
Park
,
or
a
meeting
at
Manchester
,
—
and
in
Mrs.
Perkins
's
own
room
,
memorable
evermore
,
he
then
and
there
throws
in
upon
the
block
,
Mr.
Krook
's
house
,
as
large
as
life
;
in
fact
,
considerably
larger
,
making
a
very
Temple
of
it
.
Similarly
,
being
permitted
to
look
in
at
the
door
of
the
fatal
chamber
,
he
depicts
that
apartment
as
three
quarters
of
a
mile
long
,
by
fifty
yards
high
;
at
which
the
court
is
particularly
charmed
.
All
this
time
,
the
two
gentlemen
before
mentioned
pop
in
and
out
of
every
house
,
and
assist
at
the
philosophical
disputations
,
—
go
everywhere
,
and
listen
to
everybody
,
—
and
yet
are
always
diving
into
the
Sol
's
parlour
,
and
writing
with
the
ravenous
little
pens
on
the
tissue-paper
.
At
last
come
the
coroner
and
his
inquiry
,
like
as
before
,
except
that
the
coroner
cherishes
this
case
as
being
out
of
the
common
way
,
and
tells
the
gentlemen
of
the
Jury
,
in
his
private
capacity
,
that
“
that
would
seem
to
be
an
unlucky
house
next
door
,
gentlemen
,
a
destined
house
;
but
so
we
sometimes
find
it
,
and
these
are
mysteries
we
ca
n't
account
for
!
”
After
which
the
six-footer
comes
into
action
,
and
is
much
admired
.
In
all
these
proceedings
Mr.
Guppy
has
so
slight
a
part
,
except
when
he
gives
his
evidence
,
that
he
is
moved
on
like
a
private
individual
,
and
can
only
haunt
the
secret
house
on
the
outside
;
where
he
has
the
mortification
of
seeing
Mr.
Smallweed
padlocking
the
door
,
and
of
bitterly
knowing
himself
to
be
shut
out
.
But
before
these
proceedings
draw
to
a
close
,
that
is
to
say
,
on
the
night
next
after
the
catastrophe
,
Mr.
Guppy
has
a
thing
to
say
that
must
be
said
to
Lady
Dedlock
.
For
which
reason
,
with
a
sinking
heart
,
and
with
that
hangdog
sense
of
guilt
upon
him
,
which
dread
and
watching
,
enfolded
in
the
Sol
's
Arms
,
have
produced
,
the
young
man
of
the
name
of
Guppy
presents
himself
at
the
town
mansion
at
about
seven
o'clock
in
the
evening
,
and
requests
to
see
her
ladyship
.
Mercury
replies
that
she
is
going
out
to
dinner
;
do
n't
he
see
the
carriage
at
the
door
?
Yes
,
he
does
see
the
carriage
at
the
door
;
but
he
wants
to
see
my
lady
too
.
Mercury
is
disposed
,
as
he
will
presently
declare
to
a
fellow
gentleman
in
waiting
,
“
to
pitch
into
the
young
man
;
”
but
his
instructions
are
positive
.
Therefore
he
sulkily
supposes
that
the
young
man
must
come
up
into
the
library
.
There
he
leaves
the
young
man
in
a
large
room
,
not
over-light
,
while
he
makes
report
of
him
.
Mr.
Guppy
looks
into
the
shade
in
all
directions
,
discovering
everywhere
a
certain
charred
and
whitened
little
heap
of
coal
or
wood
.
Presently
he
hears
a
rustling
.
Is
it
—
?
No
,
it
's
no
ghost
;
but
fair
flesh
and
blood
,
most
brilliantly
dressed
.
“
I
have
to
beg
your
ladyship
's
pardon
,
”
Mr.
Guppy
stammers
,
very
downcast
.
“
This
is
an
inconvenient
time
—
—
”
“
I
told
you
,
you
could
come
at
any
time
.
”
She
takes
a
chair
,
looking
straight
at
him
as
on
the
last
occasion
.
“
Thank
your
ladyship
.
Your
ladyship
is
very
affable
.
”
“
You
can
sit
down
.
”
There
is
not
much
affability
in
her
tone
.
“
I
do
n't
know
,
your
ladyship
,
that
it
's
worth
while
my
sitting
down
and
detaining
you
,
for
I
—
I
have
not
got
the
letters
that
I
mentioned
when
I
had
the
honor
of
waiting
on
your
ladyship
.
”
“
Have
you
come
merely
to
say
so
?
”
“
Merely
to
say
so
,
your
ladyship
.
”
Mr.
Guppy
,
besides
being
depressed
,
disappointed
,
and
uneasy
,
is
put
at
a
further
disadvantage
by
the
splendour
and
beauty
of
her
appearance
.
She
knows
its
influence
perfectly
;
has
studied
it
too
well
to
miss
a
grain
of
its
effect
on
any
one
.
As
she
looks
at
him
so
steadily
and
coldly
,
he
not
only
feels
conscious
that
he
has
no
guide
,
in
the
least
perception
of
what
is
really
the
complexion
of
her
thoughts
;
but
also
that
he
is
being
every
moment
,
as
it
were
,
removed
further
and
further
from
her
.
She
will
not
speak
,
it
is
plain
.
So
he
must
.
“
In
short
,
your
ladyship
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
like
a
meanly
penitent
thief
,
“
the
person
I
was
to
have
had
the
letters
of
,
has
come
to
a
sudden
end
,
and
—
—
”
He
stops
.
Lady
Dedlock
calmly
finishes
the
sentence
.
“
And
the
letters
are
destroyed
with
the
person
?
”
Mr.
Guppy
would
say
no
,
if
he
could
—
as
he
is
unable
to
hide
.
“
I
believe
so
,
your
ladyship
.
”
If
he
could
see
the
least
sparkle
of
relief
in
her
face
now
?
No
,
he
could
see
no
such
thing
,
even
if
that
brave
outside
did
not
utterly
put
him
away
,
and
he
were
not
looking
beyond
it
and
about
it
.
He
falters
an
awkward
excuse
or
two
for
his
failure
.
“
Is
this
all
you
have
to
say
?
”
inquires
Lady
Dedlock
,
having
heard
him
out
—
or
as
nearly
out
as
he
can
stumble
.
Mr.
Guppy
thinks
that
's
all
.
“
You
had
better
be
sure
that
you
wish
to
say
nothing
more
to
me
;
this
being
the
last
time
you
will
have
the
opportunity
.
”
Mr.
Guppy
is
quite
sure
.
And
indeed
he
has
no
such
wish
at
present
,
by
any
means
.
“
That
is
enough
.
I
will
dispense
with
excuses
.
Good
evening
to
you
!
”
and
she
rings
for
Mercury
to
show
the
young
man
of
the
name
of
Guppy
out
.
But
in
that
house
,
in
that
same
moment
,
there
happens
to
be
an
old
man
of
the
name
of
Tulkinghorn
.
And
that
old
man
,
coming
with
his
quiet
footstep
to
the
library
,
has
his
hand
at
that
moment
on
the
handle
of
the
door
—
comes
in
—
and
comes
face
to
face
with
the
young
man
as
he
is
leaving
the
room
.
One
glance
between
the
old
man
and
the
lady
;
and
for
an
instant
the
blind
that
is
always
down
flies
up
.
Suspicion
,
eager
and
sharp
,
looks
out
.
Another
instant
;
close
again
.
“
I
beg
your
pardon
,
Lady
Dedlock
.
I
beg
your
pardon
a
thousand
times
.
It
is
so
very
unusual
to
find
you
here
at
this
hour
.
I
supposed
the
room
was
empty
.
I
beg
your
pardon
!
”
“
Stay
!
”
She
negligently
calls
him
back
.
“
Remain
here
,
I
beg
.
I
am
going
out
to
dinner
.
I
have
nothing
more
to
say
to
this
young
man
!
”
The
disconcerted
young
man
bows
,
as
he
goes
out
,
and
cringingly
hopes
that
Mr.
Tulkinghorn
of
the
Fields
is
well
.
“
Aye
,
aye
?
”
says
the
lawyer
,
looking
at
him
from
under
his
bent
brows
;
though
he
has
no
need
to
look
again
—
not
he
.
“
From
Kenge
and
Carboy
's
,
surely
?
”
“
Kenge
and
Carboy
's
,
Mr.
Tulkinghorn
.
Name
of
Guppy
,
sir
.
”
“
To
be
sure
.
Why
,
thank
you
,
Mr.
Guppy
,
I
am
very
well
!
”
“
Happy
to
hear
it
,
sir
.
You
ca
n't
be
too
well
,
sir
,
for
the
credit
of
the
profession
.
”
“
Thank
you
,
Mr.
Guppy
!
”
Mr.
Guppy
sneaks
away
.
Mr.
Tulkinghorn
,
such
a
foil
in
his
old-fashioned
rusty
black
to
Lady
Dedlock
's
brightness
,
hands
her
down
the
staircase
to
her
carriage
.
He
returns
rubbing
his
chin
,
and
rubs
it
a
good
deal
in
the
course
of
the
evening
.
CHAPTER
XXXIV
.
A
TURN
OF
THE
SCREW
.
“
Now
,
what
,
”
says
Mr.
George
,
“
may
this
be
?
Is
it
blank
cartridge
,
or
ball
?
A
flash
in
the
pan
,
or
a
shot
?
”
An
open
letter
is
the
subject
of
the
trooper
's
speculations
,
and
it
seems
to
perplex
him
mightily
.
He
looks
at
it
at
arm
's
length
,
brings
it
close
to
him
,
holds
it
in
his
right
hand
,
holds
it
in
his
left
hand
,
reads
it
with
his
head
on
this
side
,
with
his
head
on
that
side
,
contracts
his
eyebrows
,
elevates
them
;
still
,
cannot
satisfy
himself
.
He
smooths
it
out
upon
the
table
with
his
heavy
palm
,
and
thoughtfully
walking
up
and
down
the
gallery
,
makes
a
halt
before
it
every
now
and
then
,
to
come
upon
it
with
a
fresh
eye
.
Even
that
wo
n't
do
.
“
Is
it
,
”
Mr.
George
still
muses
,
“
blank
cartridge
or
ball
?
”
Phil
Squod
,
with
the
aid
of
a
brush
and
paint-pot
,
is
employed
in
the
distance
whitening
the
targets
;
softly
whistling
,
in
quick-march
time
,
and
in
drum-and-fife
manner
,
that
he
must
and
he
will
go
back
again
to
the
girl
he
left
behind
him
.
“
Phil
!
”
The
trooper
beckons
as
he
calls
him
.
Phil
approaches
in
his
usual
way
;
sidling
off
at
first
as
if
he
were
going
anywhere
else
,
and
then
bearing
down
upon
his
commander
like
a
bayonet-charge
.
Certain
splashes
of
white
show
in
high
relief
upon
his
dirty
face
,
and
he
scrapes
his
one
eyebrow
with
the
handle
of
his
brush
.
“
Attention
,
Phil
!
Listen
to
this
.
”
“
Steady
,
commander
,
steady
.
”
“
‘Sir
.
Allow
me
to
remind
you
(
though
there
is
no
legal
necessity
for
my
doing
so
,
as
you
are
aware
)
that
the
bill
at
two
months’
date
,
drawn
on
yourself
by
Mr.
Matthew
Bagnet
,
and
by
you
accepted
,
for
the
sum
of
ninety-seven
pounds
four
shillings
and
ninepence
,
will
become
due
tomorrow
,
when
you
will
please
be
prepared
to
take
up
the
same
on
presentation
.
Yours
,
JOSHUA
SMALLWEED.’
—
What
do
you
make
of
that
,
Phil
?
”
“
Mischief
,
guv'ner
.
”
“
Why
?
”
“
I
think
,
”
replies
Phil
,
after
pensively
tracing
out
a
cross-wrinkle
in
his
forehead
with
the
brush-handle
,
“
that
mischeevious
consequences
is
always
meant
when
money
's
asked
for
.
”
“
Lookye
,
Phil
,
”
says
the
trooper
,
sitting
on
the
table
.
“
First
and
last
,
I
have
paid
,
I
may
say
,
half
as
much
again
as
this
principal
,
in
interest
and
one
thing
and
another
.
”
Phil
intimates
,
by
sidling
back
a
pace
or
two
,
with
a
very
unaccountable
wrench
of
his
wry
face
,
that
he
does
not
regard
the
transaction
as
being
made
more
promising
by
this
incident
.
“
And
lookye
further
,
Phil
,
”
says
the
trooper
,
staying
his
premature
conclusions
with
a
wave
of
his
hand
.
“
There
has
always
been
an
understanding
that
this
bill
was
to
be
what
they
call
Renewed
.
And
it
has
been
renewed
,
no
end
of
times
.
What
do
you
say
now
?
”
“
I
say
that
I
think
the
times
is
come
to
a
end
at
last
.
”
“
You
do
?
Humph
!
I
am
much
of
the
same
mind
myself
.
”
“
Joshua
Smallweed
is
him
that
was
brought
here
in
a
chair
?
”
“
The
same
.
”
“
Guv'ner
,
”
says
Phil
,
with
exceeding
gravity
,
“
he
's
a
leech
in
his
dispositions
,
he
's
a
screw
and
a
wice
in
his
actions
,
a
snake
in
his
twistings
,
and
a
lobster
in
his
claws
.
”
Having
thus
expressively
uttered
his
sentiments
,
Mr.
Squod
,
after
waiting
a
little
to
ascertain
if
any
further
remark
be
expected
of
him
,
gets
back
,
by
his
usual
series
of
movements
,
to
the
target
he
has
in
hand
;
and
vigorously
signifies
,
through
his
former
musical
medium
,
that
he
must
and
he
will
return
to
that
ideal
young
lady
.
George
having
folded
the
letter
walks
in
that
direction
.
“
There
is
a
way
,
commander
,
”
says
Phil
,
looking
cunningly
at
him
,
“
of
settling
this
.
”
“
Paying
the
money
,
I
suppose
?
I
wish
I
could
.
”
Phil
shakes
his
head
.
“
No
,
guv'ner
,
no
;
not
so
bad
as
that
.
There
is
a
way
,
”
says
Phil
,
with
a
highly
artistic
turn
of
his
brush
—
“
what
I
'm
a
doing
at
present
.
”
“
Whitewashing
?
”
Phil
nods
.
“
A
pretty
way
that
would
be
!
Do
you
know
what
would
become
of
the
Bagnets
in
that
case
?
Do
you
know
they
would
be
ruined
to
pay
off
my
old
scores
?
You
're
a
moral
character
,
”
says
the
trooper
,
eyeing
him
in
his
large
way
with
no
small
indignation
,
“
upon
my
life
you
are
,
Phil
!
”
Phil
,
on
one
knee
at
the
target
,
is
in
course
of
protesting
earnestly
,
though
not
without
many
allegorical
scoops
of
his
brush
,
and
smoothings
of
the
white
surface
round
the
rim
with
his
thumb
,
that
he
had
forgotten
the
Bagnet
responsibility
,
and
would
not
so
much
as
injure
a
hair
of
the
head
of
any
member
of
that
worthy
family
,
when
steps
are
audible
in
the
long
passage
without
,
and
a
cheerful
voice
is
heard
to
wonder
whether
George
is
at
home
.
Phil
,
with
a
look
at
his
master
,
hobbles
up
,
saying
,
“
Here
's
the
guv'ner
,
Mrs.
Bagnet
!
Here
he
is
!
”
and
the
old
girl
herself
,
accompanied
by
Mr.
Bagnet
,
appears
.
The
old
girl
never
appears
in
walking
trim
,
in
any
season
of
the
year
,
without
a
grey
cloth
cloak
,
coarse
and
much
worn
but
very
clean
,
which
is
,
undoubtedly
,
the
identical
garment
rendered
so
interesting
to
Mr.
Bagnet
by
having
made
its
way
home
to
Europe
from
another
quarter
of
the
globe
,
in
company
with
Mrs.
Bagnet
and
an
umbrella
.
The
latter
faithful
appendage
is
also
invariably
a
part
of
the
old
girl
's
presence
out
of
doors
.
It
is
of
no
color
known
in
this
life
,
and
has
a
corrugated
wooden
crook
for
a
handle
,
with
a
metallic
object
let
into
its
prow
or
beak
,
resembling
a
little
model
of
a
fan-light
over
a
street
door
,
or
one
of
the
oval
glasses
out
of
a
pair
of
spectacles
:
which
ornamental
object
has
not
that
tenacious
capacity
of
sticking
to
its
post
that
might
be
desired
in
an
article
long
associated
with
the
British
army
.
The
old
girl
's
umbrella
is
of
a
flabby
habit
of
waist
,
and
seems
to
be
in
need
of
stays
—
an
appearance
that
is
possibly
referable
to
its
having
served
,
through
a
series
of
years
,
at
home
as
a
cupboard
,
and
on
journeys
as
a
carpet
bag
.
She
never
puts
it
up
,
having
the
greatest
reliance
on
her
well-proved
cloak
with
its
capacious
hood
;
but
generally
uses
the
instrument
as
a
wand
with
which
to
point
out
joints
of
meat
or
bunches
of
greens
in
marketing
,
or
to
arrest
the
attention
of
tradesmen
by
a
friendly
poke
.
Without
her
market-basket
,
which
is
a
sort
of
wicker
well
with
two
flapping
lids
,
she
never
stirs
abroad
.
Attended
by
these
her
trusty
companions
,
therefore
,
her
honest
sunburnt
face
looking
cheerily
out
of
a
rough
straw
bonnet
,
Mrs.
Bagnet
now
arrives
,
fresh-colored
and
bright
,
in
George
's
Shooting
Gallery
.
“
Well
,
George
,
old
fellow
,
”
says
she
,
“
and
how
do
you
do
,
this
sunshiny
morning
?
”
Giving
him
a
friendly
shake
of
the
hand
,
Mrs.
Bagnet
draws
a
long
breath
after
her
walk
,
and
sits
down
to
enjoy
a
rest
.
Having
a
faculty
,
matured
on
the
tops
of
baggage-wagons
,
and
in
other
such
positions
,
of
resting
easily
anywhere
,
she
perches
on
a
rough
bench
,
unties
her
bonnet-strings
,
pushes
back
her
bonnet
,
crosses
her
arms
,
and
looks
perfectly
comfortable
.
Mr.
Bagnet
,
in
the
mean
time
,
has
shaken
hands
with
his
old
comrade
,
and
with
Phil
:
on
whom
Mrs.
Bagnet
likewise
bestows
a
good-humoured
nod
and
smile
.
“
Now
,
George
,
”
says
Mrs.
Bagnet
,
briskly
,
“
here
we
are
,
Lignum
and
myself
;
”
she
often
speaks
of
her
husband
by
this
appellation
,
on
account
,
as
it
is
supposed
,
of
Lignum
Vitæ
having
been
his
old
regimental
nickname
when
they
first
became
acquainted
,
in
compliment
to
the
extreme
hardness
and
toughness
of
his
physiognomy
;
“
just
looked
in
,
we
have
,
to
make
it
all
correct
as
usual
about
that
security
.
Give
him
the
new
bill
to
sign
,
George
,
and
he
'll
sign
it
like
a
man
.
”
“
I
was
coming
to
you
this
morning
,
”
observes
the
trooper
,
reluctantly
.
“
Yes
,
we
thought
you
'd
come
to
us
this
morning
,
but
we
turned
out
early
,
and
left
Woolwich
,
the
best
of
boys
,
to
mind
his
sisters
,
and
came
to
you
instead
—
as
you
see
!
For
Lignum
,
he
's
tied
so
close
now
,
and
gets
so
little
exercise
,
that
a
walk
does
him
good
.
But
what
's
the
matter
,
George
?
”
asks
Mrs.
Bagnet
,
stopping
in
her
cheerful
talk
.
“
You
do
n't
look
yourself
.
”
“
I
am
not
quite
myself
,
”
returns
the
trooper
;
“
I
have
been
a
little
put
out
,
Mrs.
Bagnet
.
”
Her
quick
bright
eye
catches
the
truth
directly
.
“
George
!
”
holding
up
her
forefinger
.
“
Do
n't
tell
me
there
's
anything
wrong
about
that
security
of
Lignum
's
!
Do
n't
do
it
,
George
,
on
account
of
the
children
!
”
The
trooper
looks
at
her
with
a
troubled
visage
.
“
George
,
”
says
Mrs.
Bagnet
,
using
both
her
arms
for
emphasis
,
and
occasionally
bringing
down
her
open
hands
upon
her
knees
.
“
If
you
have
allowed
anything
wrong
to
come
to
that
security
of
Lignum
's
,
and
if
you
have
let
him
in
for
it
,
and
if
you
have
put
us
in
danger
of
being
sold
up
—
and
I
see
sold
up
in
your
face
,
George
,
as
plain
as
print
—
you
have
done
a
shameful
action
,
and
have
deceived
us
cruelly
.
I
tell
you
,
cruelly
,
George
.
There
!
”
Mr.
Bagnet
,
otherwise
as
immoveable
as
a
pump
or
a
lamp-post
,
puts
his
large
right
hand
on
the
top
of
his
bald
head
,
as
if
to
defend
it
from
a
shower-bath
,
and
looks
with
great
uneasiness
at
Mrs.
Bagnet
.
“
George
!
”
says
that
old
girl
.
“
I
wonder
at
you
!
George
,
I
am
ashamed
of
you
!
George
,
I
could
n't
have
believed
you
would
have
done
it
!
I
always
knew
you
to
be
a
rolling
stone
that
gathered
no
moss
;
but
I
never
thought
you
would
have
taken
away
what
little
moss
there
was
for
Bagnet
and
the
children
to
lie
upon
.
You
know
what
a
hardworking
,
steady-going
chap
he
is
.
You
know
what
Quebec
and
Malta
and
Woolwich
are
—
and
I
never
did
think
you
would
,
or
could
,
have
had
the
heart
to
serve
us
so
.
O
George
!
”
Mrs.
Bagnet
gathers
up
her
cloak
to
wipe
her
eyes
on
,
in
a
very
genuine
manner
,
“
How
could
you
do
it
?
”
Mrs.
Bagnet
ceasing
,
Mr.
Bagnet
removes
his
hand
from
his
head
as
if
the
shower-bath
were
over
,
and
looks
disconsolately
at
Mr.
George
;
who
has
turned
quite
white
,
and
looks
distressfully
at
the
grey
cloak
and
straw
bonnet
.
“
Mat
,
”
says
the
trooper
,
in
a
subdued
voice
,
addressing
him
,
but
still
looking
at
his
wife
;
“
I
am
sorry
you
take
it
so
much
to
heart
,
because
I
do
hope
it
's
not
so
bad
as
that
comes
to
.
I
certainly
have
,
this
morning
,
received
this
letter
;
”
which
he
reads
aloud
;
“
but
I
hope
it
may
be
set
right
yet
.
As
to
a
rolling
stone
,
why
,
what
you
say
is
true
.
I
am
a
rolling
stone
;
and
I
never
rolled
in
anybody
's
way
,
I
fully
believe
,
that
I
rolled
the
least
good
to
.
But
it
's
impossible
for
an
old
vagabond
comrade
to
like
your
wife
and
family
better
than
I
like
'
em
,
Mat
,
and
I
trust
you
'll
look
upon
me
as
forgivingly
as
you
can
.
Do
n't
think
I
've
kept
anything
from
you
.
I
have
n't
had
the
letter
more
than
a
quarter
of
an
hour
.
”
“
Old
girl
!
”
murmurs
Mr.
Bagnet
,
after
a
short
silence
,
“
will
you
tell
him
my
opinion
?
”
“
Oh
!
Why
did
n't
he
marry
,
”
Mrs.
Bagnet
answers
,
half
laughing
and
half
crying
,
“
Joe
Pouch
's
widder
in
North
America
?
Then
he
would
n't
have
got
himself
into
these
troubles
.
”
“
The
old
girl
,
”
says
Mr.
Bagnet
,
“
puts
it
correct
—
why
did
n't
you
?
”
“
Well
,
she
has
a
better
husband
by
this
time
,
I
hope
,
”
returns
the
trooper
.
“
Anyhow
,
here
I
stand
,
this
present
day
,
not
married
to
Joe
Pouch
's
widder
.
What
shall
I
do
?
You
see
all
I
have
got
about
me
.
It
's
not
mine
;
it
's
yours
.
Give
the
word
,
and
I
'll
sell
off
every
morsel
.
If
I
could
have
hoped
it
would
have
brought
in
nearly
the
sum
wanted
,
I
'd
have
sold
all
long
ago
.
Do
n't
believe
that
I
'll
leave
you
or
yours
in
the
lurch
,
Mat
.
I
'd
sell
myself
first
.
I
only
wish
,
”
says
the
trooper
,
giving
himself
a
disparaging
blow
in
the
chest
,
“
that
I
knew
of
anyone
who
'd
buy
such
a
second-hand
piece
of
old
stores
.
”
“
Old
girl
,
”
murmurs
Mr.
Bagnet
,
“
give
him
another
bit
of
my
mind
.
”
“
George
,
”
says
the
old
girl
,
“
you
are
not
so
much
to
be
blamed
,
on
full
consideration
,
except
for
ever
taking
this
business
without
the
means
.
”
“
And
that
was
like
me
!
”
observes
the
penitent
trooper
,
shaking
his
head
.
“
Like
me
,
I
know
.
”
“
Silence
!
The
old
girl
,
”
says
Mr.
Bagnet
,
“
is
correct
—
in
her
way
of
giving
my
opinions
—
hear
me
out
!
”
“
That
was
when
you
never
ought
to
have
asked
for
the
security
,
George
,
and
when
you
never
ought
to
have
got
it
,
all
things
considered
.
But
what
's
done
ca
n't
be
undone
.
You
are
always
an
honourable
and
straight-forward
fellow
,
as
far
as
lays
in
your
power
,
though
a
little
flighty
.
On
the
other
hand
,
you
ca
n't
admit
but
what
it
's
natural
in
us
to
be
anxious
,
with
such
a
thing
hanging
over
our
heads
.
So
forget
and
forgive
all
round
,
George
.
Come
!
Forget
and
forgive
all
round
!
”
Mrs.
Bagnet
giving
him
one
of
her
honest
hands
,
and
giving
her
husband
the
other
,
Mr.
George
gives
each
of
them
one
of
his
,
and
holds
them
while
he
speaks
.
“
I
do
assure
you
both
,
there
's
nothing
I
would
n't
do
to
discharge
this
obligation
.
But
whatever
I
have
been
able
to
scrape
together
,
has
gone
every
two
months
in
keeping
it
up
.
We
have
lived
plainly
enough
here
,
Phil
and
I
.
But
the
Gallery
do
n't
quite
do
what
was
expected
of
it
,
and
it
's
not
—
in
short
,
it
's
not
the
Mint
.
It
was
wrong
in
me
to
take
it
?
Well
,
so
it
was
.
But
I
was
in
a
manner
drawn
into
that
step
,
and
I
thought
it
might
steady
me
,
and
set
me
up
,
and
you
'll
try
to
overlook
my
having
such
expectations
,
and
upon
my
soul
,
I
am
very
much
obliged
to
you
,
and
very
much
ashamed
of
myself
.
”
With
these
concluding
words
,
Mr.
George
gives
a
shake
to
each
of
the
hands
he
holds
,
and
,
relinquishing
them
,
backs
a
pace
or
two
,
in
a
broad-chested
upright
attitude
,
as
if
he
had
made
a
final
confession
,
and
were
immediately
going
to
be
shot
with
all
military
honours
.
“
George
,
hear
me
out
!
”
says
Mr.
Bagnet
,
glancing
at
his
wife
.
“
Old
girl
,
go
on
!
”
Mr.
Bagnet
,
being
in
this
singular
manner
heard
out
,
has
merely
to
observe
that
the
letter
must
be
attended
to
without
any
delay
;
that
it
is
advisable
that
George
and
he
should
immediately
wait
on
Mr.
Smallweed
in
person
;
and
that
the
primary
object
is
to
save
and
hold
harmless
Mr.
Bagnet
,
who
had
none
of
the
money
.
Mr.
George
entirely
assenting
,
puts
on
his
hat
,
and
prepares
to
march
with
Mr.
Bagnet
to
the
enemy
's
camp
.
“
Do
n't
you
mind
a
woman
's
hasty
word
,
George
,
”
says
Mrs.
Bagnet
,
patting
him
on
the
shoulder
.
“
I
trust
my
old
Lignum
to
you
,
and
I
am
sure
you
'll
bring
him
through
it
.
”
The
trooper
returns
,
that
this
is
kindly
said
,
and
that
he
will
bring
Lignum
through
it
somehow
.
Upon
which
Mrs.
Bagnet
,
with
her
cloak
,
basket
,
and
umbrella
,
goes
home
,
bright-eyed
again
,
to
the
rest
of
her
family
;
and
the
comrades
sally
forth
on
the
hopeful
errand
of
mollifying
Mr.
Smallweed
.
Whether
there
are
two
people
in
England
less
likely
to
come
satisfactorily
out
of
any
negotiation
with
Mr.
Smallweed
than
Mr.
George
and
Mr.
Matthew
Bagnet
,
may
be
very
reasonably
questioned
.
Also
,
notwithstanding
their
martial
appearance
,
broad
square
shoulders
,
and
heavy
tread
,
whether
there
are
,
within
the
same
limits
,
two
more
simple
and
unaccustomed
children
,
in
all
the
Smallweedy
affairs
of
life
.
As
they
proceed
with
great
gravity
through
the
streets
towards
the
region
of
Mount
Pleasant
,
Mr.
Bagnet
,
observing
his
companion
to
be
thoughtful
,
considers
it
a
friendly
part
to
refer
to
Mrs.
Bagnet
's
late
sally
.
“
George
,
you
know
the
old
girl
—
she
's
as
sweet
and
as
mild
as
milk
.
But
touch
her
on
the
children
—
or
myself
—
and
she
's
off
like
gunpowder
.
”
“
It
does
her
credit
,
Mat
!
”
“
George
,
”
says
Mr.
Bagnet
,
looking
straight
before
him
,
“
the
old
girl
—
ca
n't
do
anything
—
that
do
n't
do
her
credit
.
More
or
less
.
I
never
say
so
.
Discipline
must
be
maintained
.
”
“
She
's
worth
her
weight
in
gold
,
”
returns
the
trooper
.
“
In
gold
?
”
says
Mr.
Bagnet
.
“
I
'll
tell
you
what
.
The
old
girl
's
weight
—
is
twelve
stone
six
.
Would
I
take
that
weight
—
in
any
metal
—
for
the
old
girl
?
No.
Why
not
?
Because
the
old
girl
's
metal
is
far
more
precious
—
than
the
preciousest
metal
.
And
she
's
all
metal
!
”
“
You
are
right
,
Mat
!
”
“
When
she
took
me
—
and
accepted
of
the
ring
—
she
'
listed
under
me
and
the
children
—
heart
and
head
;
for
life
.
She
's
that
earnest
,
”
says
Mr.
Bagnet
,
“
and
that
true
to
her
colours
—
that
,
touch
us
with
a
finger
—
and
she
turns
out
—
and
stands
to
her
arms
.
If
the
old
girl
fires
wide
—
once
in
a
way
—
at
the
call
of
duty
—
look
over
it
,
George
.
For
she
's
loyal
!
”
“
Why
bless
her
,
Mat
!
”
returns
the
trooper
,
“
I
think
the
higher
of
her
for
it
!
”
“
You
are
right
!
”
says
Mr.
Bagnet
,
with
the
warmest
enthusiasm
,
though
without
relaxing
the
rigidity
of
a
single
muscle
.
“
Think
as
high
of
the
old
girl
—
as
the
rock
of
Gibraltar
—
and
still
you
'll
be
thinking
low
—
of
such
merits
.
But
I
never
own
to
it
before
her
.
Discipline
must
be
maintained
.
”
These
encomiums
bring
them
to
Mount
Pleasant
,
and
to
Grandfather
Smallweed
's
house
.
The
door
is
opened
by
the
perennial
Judy
,
who
,
having
surveyed
them
from
top
to
toe
with
no
particular
favor
,
but
indeed
with
a
malignant
sneer
,
leaves
them
standing
there
,
while
she
consults
the
oracle
as
to
their
admission
.
The
oracle
may
be
inferred
to
give
consent
,
from
the
circumstance
of
her
returning
with
the
words
on
her
honey
lips
“
that
they
can
come
in
if
they
want
to
it
.
”
Thus
privileged
they
come
in
,
and
find
Mr.
Smallweed
with
his
feet
in
the
drawer
of
his
chair
as
if
it
were
a
paper
footbath
,
and
Mrs.
Smallweed
obscured
with
the
cushion
like
a
bird
that
is
not
to
sing
.
“
My
dear
friend
,
”
says
Grandfather
Smallweed
,
with
those
two
lean
,
affectionate
arms
of
his
stretched
forth
.
“
How
de
do
?
How
de
do
?
Who
is
our
friend
,
my
dear
friend
?
”
“
Why
this
,
”
returns
George
,
not
able
to
be
very
conciliatory
at
first
,
“
is
Matthew
Bagnet
,
who
has
obliged
me
in
that
matter
of
ours
,
you
know
.
”
“
Oh
!
Mr.
Bagnet
?
Surely
!
”
The
old
man
looks
at
him
under
his
hand
.
“
Hope
you
're
well
,
Mr.
Bagnet
?
Fine
man
,
Mr.
George
!
Military
air
,
sir
!
”
No
chairs
being
offered
,
Mr.
George
brings
one
forward
for
Bagnet
,
and
one
for
himself
.
They
sit
down
;
Mr.
Bagnet
as
if
he
had
no
power
of
bending
himself
,
except
at
the
hips
for
that
purpose
.
“
Judy
,
”
says
Mr.
Smallweed
,
“
bring
the
pipe
.
”
“
Why
,
I
do
n't
know
,
”
Mr.
George
interposes
,
“
that
the
young
woman
need
give
herself
that
trouble
,
for
,
to
tell
you
the
truth
,
I
am
not
inclined
to
smoke
it
to-day
.
”
“
Ai
n't
you
?
”
returns
the
old
man
.
“
Judy
,
bring
the
pipe
.
”
“
The
fact
is
,
Mr.
Smallweed
,
”
proceeds
George
,
“
that
I
find
myself
in
rather
an
unpleasant
state
of
mind
.
It
appears
to
me
,
sir
,
that
your
friend
in
the
city
has
been
playing
tricks
.
”
“
O
dear
no
!
”
says
Grandfather
Smallweed
.
“
He
never
does
that
!
”
“
Do
n't
he
?
Well
,
I
am
glad
to
hear
it
,
because
I
thought
it
might
be
his
doing
.
This
,
you
know
,
I
am
speaking
of
.
This
letter
.
”
Grandfather
Smallweed
smiles
in
a
very
ugly
way
,
in
recognition
of
the
letter
.
“
What
does
it
mean
?
”
asks
Mr.
George
.
“
Judy
,
”
says
the
old
man
.
“
Have
you
got
the
pipe
?
Give
it
to
me
.
Did
you
say
what
does
it
mean
,
my
good
friend
?
”
“
Aye
!
Now
,
come
,
come
,
you
know
,
Mr.
Smallweed
,
”
urges
the
trooper
,
constraining
himself
to
speak
as
smoothly
and
confidentially
as
he
can
,
holding
the
open
letter
in
one
hand
,
and
resting
the
broad
knuckles
of
the
other
on
his
thigh
;
“
a
good
lot
of
money
has
passed
between
us
,
and
we
are
face
to
face
at
the
present
moment
,
and
are
both
well
aware
of
the
understanding
there
has
always
been
.
I
am
prepared
to
do
the
usual
thing
which
I
have
done
regularly
,
and
to
keep
this
matter
going
.
I
never
got
a
letter
like
this
from
you
before
,
and
I
have
been
a
little
put
about
by
it
this
morning
;
because
here
's
my
friend
Matthew
Bagnet
,
who
,
you
know
,
had
none
of
the
money
—
”
“
I
do
n't
know
it
,
you
know
,
”
says
the
old
man
,
quietly
.
“
Why
,
con-found
you
—
it
,
I
mean
—
I
tell
you
so
;
do
n't
I
?
”
“
Oh
,
yes
,
you
tell
me
so
,
”
returns
Grandfather
Smallweed
.
“
But
I
do
n't
know
it
.
”
“
Well
!
”
says
the
trooper
,
swallowing
his
fire
.
“
I
know
it
.
”
Mr.
Smallweed
replies
with
excellent
temper
,
“
Ah
!
that
's
quite
another
thing
!
”
And
adds
,
“
but
it
do
n't
matter
.
Mr.
Bagnet
's
situation
is
all
one
,
whether
or
no.
”
The
unfortunate
George
makes
a
great
effort
to
arrange
the
affair
comfortably
,
and
to
propitiate
Mr.
Smallweed
by
taking
him
upon
his
own
terms
.
“
That
's
just
what
I
mean
.
As
you
say
,
Mr.
Smallweed
,
here
's
Matthew
Bagnet
liable
to
be
fixed
whether
or
no.
Now
,
you
see
,
that
makes
his
good
lady
very
uneasy
in
her
mind
,
and
me
too
;
for
,
whereas
I
'm
a
harum-scarum
sort
of
a
good-for-nought
,
that
more
kicks
than
half-pence
come
natural
to
,
why
he
's
a
steady
family
man
,
do
n't
you
see
?
Now
,
Mr.
Smallweed
,
”
says
the
trooper
,
gaining
confidence
as
he
proceeds
in
this
soldierly
mode
of
doing
business
;
“
although
you
and
I
are
good
friends
enough
in
a
certain
sort
of
a
way
,
I
am
well
aware
that
I
ca
n't
ask
you
to
let
my
friend
Bagnet
off
entirely
.
”
“
O
dear
,
you
are
too
modest
.
You
can
ask
me
anything
,
Mr.
George
.
”
(
There
is
an
Ogreish
kind
of
jocularity
in
Grandfather
Smallweed
to-day
.
)
“
And
you
can
refuse
,
you
mean
,
eh
?
Or
not
you
so
much
,
perhaps
,
as
your
friend
in
the
city
?
Ha
ha
ha
!
”
“
Ha
ha
ha
!
”
echoes
Grandfather
Smallweed
.
In
such
a
very
hard
manner
,
and
with
eyes
so
particularly
green
,
that
Mr.
Bagnet
's
natural
gravity
is
much
deepened
by
the
contemplation
of
that
venerable
man
.
“
Come
!
”
says
the
sanguine
George
,
“
I
am
glad
to
find
we
can
be
pleasant
,
because
I
want
to
arrange
this
pleasantly
.
Here
's
my
friend
Bagnet
,
and
here
am
I
.
We
'll
settle
the
matter
on
the
spot
,
if
you
please
,
Mr.
Smallweed
,
in
the
usual
way
.
And
you
'll
ease
my
friend
Bagnet
's
mind
,
and
his
family
's
mind
,
a
good
deal
,
if
you
'll
just
mention
to
him
what
our
understanding
is
.
”
Here
some
shrill
spectre
cries
out
in
a
mocking
manner
,
“
O
good
gracious
!
O
!
”
—
unless
,
indeed
,
it
be
the
sportive
Judy
,
who
is
found
to
be
silent
when
the
startled
visitors
look
round
,
but
whose
chin
has
received
a
recent
toss
,
expressive
of
derision
and
contempt
.
Mr.
Bagnet
's
gravity
becomes
yet
more
profound
.
“
But
I
think
you
asked
me
,
Mr.
George
;
”
old
Smallweed
,
who
all
this
time
has
had
the
pipe
in
his
hand
,
is
the
speaker
now
;
“
I
think
you
asked
me
,
what
did
the
letter
mean
?
”
“
Why
,
yes
,
I
did
,
”
returns
the
trooper
,
in
his
off-hand
way
:
“
but
I
do
n't
care
to
know
particularly
,
if
it
's
all
correct
and
pleasant
.
”
Mr.
Smallweed
,
purposely
balking
himself
in
an
aim
at
the
trooper
's
head
,
throws
the
pipe
on
the
ground
and
breaks
it
to
pieces
.
“
That
's
what
it
means
,
my
dear
friend
.
I
'll
smash
you
.
I
'll
crumble
you
.
I
'll
powder
you
.
Go
to
the
devil
!
”
The
two
friends
rise
and
look
at
one
another
.
Mr.
Bagnet
's
gravity
has
now
attained
its
profoundest
point
.
“
Go
to
the
devil
!
”
repeats
the
old
man
.
“
I
'll
have
no
more
of
your
pipe-smokings
and
swaggerings
.
What
?
You
're
an
independent
dragoon
,
too
!
Go
to
my
lawyer
(
you
remember
where
;
you
have
been
there
before
)
,
and
show
your
independence
now
,
will
you
?
Come
,
my
dear
friend
,
there
's
a
chance
for
you
.
Open
the
street
door
,
Judy
;
put
these
blusterers
out
!
Call
in
help
if
they
do
n't
go
.
Put
'
em
out
!
”
He
vociferates
this
so
loudly
,
that
Mr.
Bagnet
,
laying
his
hands
on
the
shoulders
of
his
comrade
,
before
the
latter
can
recover
from
his
