she,
‘before
you
reach
the
bottom
of
the
lane
and
I
give
the
alarm.’
And
Joe
went
straight
,
and
didn’t
look
behind
him
.
“
Well
,
it
was
a
rum
beginning
to
a
courtship
,
but
the
end
was
rummer
.
The
girl
was
willing
to
marry
him
if
he
would
turn
honest
.
Joe
wanted
to
turn
honest
,
but
didn’t
know
how
.
“
‘It’s
no
use
fixing
me
down
,
my
dear
,
to
any
quiet
,
respectable
calling
,
’
says
Joe
to
the
gal
,
‘because
,
even
if
the
police
would
let
me
alone
,
I
wouldn’t
be
able
to
stop
there
.
I’d
break
out
,
sooner
or
later
,
try
as
I
might.’
“
The
girl
went
to
her
master
,
who
seems
to
have
been
an
odd
sort
of
a
cove
,
and
told
him
the
whole
story
.
The
old
gent
said
he’d
see
Joe
,
and
Joe
called
on
him
.
“
‘What’s
your
religion
?
’
says
the
old
gent
to
Joe
.
“
‘I’m
not
particular
,
sir
;
I’ll
leave
it
to
you
,
’
says
Joe
.
“
‘Good
!
’
says
the
old
gent
.
‘You’re
no
fanatic
.
What
are
your
principles
?
’
“
At
first
Joe
didn’t
think
he’d
got
any
,
but
,
the
old
gent
leading
,
he
found
to
his
surprise
as
he
had
.
“
‘I
believe
,
’
says
Joe
,
‘in
doing
a
job
thoroughly.’
“
‘What
your
hand
finds
to
do
,
you
believe
in
doing
with
all
your
might
,
eh
?
’
says
the
old
gent
.
“
‘That’s
it
,
sir
,
’
says
Joe
.
‘That’s
what
I’ve
always
tried
to
do.’
“
‘Anything
else
?
’
asks
the
old
gent
.
“
‘Yes
;
stick
to
your
pals
,
’
said
Joe
.
“
‘Through
thick
and
thin
,
’
suggests
the
old
gent
.
“
‘To
the
blooming
end
,
’
agrees
Joe
.
“
‘That’s
right
,
’
says
the
old
gent
.
‘Faithful
unto
death
.
And
you
really
want
to
turn
over
a
new
leaf
—
to
put
your
wits
and
your
energy
and
your
courage
to
good
use
instead
of
bad
?
’
“
‘That’s
the
idea
,
’
says
Joe
.
“
The
old
gent
murmurs
something
to
himself
about
a
stone
which
the
builders
wouldn’t
have
at
any
price
;
and
then
he
turns
and
puts
it
straight
:
“
‘If
you
undertake
the
work
,
’
says
he
,
‘you’ll
go
through
with
it
without
faltering
—
you’ll
devote
your
life
to
it
?
’
“
‘If
I
undertake
the
job
,
I’ll
do
that
,
’
says
Joe
.
‘What
may
it
be
?
’
“
‘To
go
to
Africa
,
’
says
the
old
gent
,
‘as
a
missionary.’
“
Joe
sits
down
and
stares
at
the
old
gent
,
and
the
old
gent
looks
him
back
.
“
‘It’s
a
dangerous
station
,
’
says
the
old
gent
.
‘Two
of
our
people
have
lost
their
lives
there
.
It
wants
a
man
there
—
a
man
who
will
do
something
besides
preach
,
who
will
save
these
poor
people
we
have
gathered
together
there
from
being
scattered
and
lost
,
who
will
be
their
champion
,
their
protector
,
their
friend.’
“
In
the
end
,
Joe
took
on
the
job
,
and
went
out
with
his
wife
.
A
better
missionary
that
Society
never
had
and
never
wanted
.
I
read
one
of
his
early
reports
home
;
and
if
the
others
were
anything
like
it
his
life
must
have
been
exciting
enough
,
even
for
him
.
His
station
was
a
small
island
of
civilisation
,
as
one
may
say
,
in
the
middle
of
a
sea
of
savages
.
Before
he
had
been
there
a
month
the
place
had
been
attacked
twice
.
On
the
first
occasion
Joe’s
‘flock’
had
crowded
into
the
Mission
House
,
and
commenced
to
pray
,
that
having
been
the
plan
of
defence
adopted
by
his
predecessor
.
Joe
cut
the
prayer
short
,
and
preached
to
them
from
the
text
,
‘Heaven
helps
them
as
helps
themselves’
;
after
which
he
proceeded
to
deal
out
axes
and
old
rifles
.
In
his
report
he
mentioned
that
he
had
taken
a
hand
himself
,
merely
as
an
example
to
the
flock
;
I
bet
he
had
never
enjoyed
an
evening
more
in
all
his
life
.
The
second
fight
began
,
as
usual
,
round
the
Mission
,
but
seems
to
have
ended
two
miles
off
.
In
less
than
six
months
he
had
rebuilt
the
school-house
,
organised
a
police
force
,
converted
all
that
was
left
of
one
tribe
,
and
started
a
tin
church
.
He
added
(
but
I
don’t
think
they
read
that
part
of
his
report
aloud
)
that
law
and
order
was
going
to
be
respected
,
and
life
and
property
secure
in
his
district
so
long
as
he
had
a
bullet
left
.
“
Later
on
the
Society
sent
him
still
further
inland
,
to
open
up
a
fresh
station
;
and
there
it
was
that
,
according
to
the
newspapers
,
the
cannibals
got
hold
of
him
and
ate
him
.
As
I
said
,
personally
I
don’t
believe
it
.
One
of
these
days
he’ll
turn
up
,
sound
and
whole
;
he
is
that
sort
.
”
THE
SURPRISE
OF
MR.
MILBERRY
.
“
It’s
not
the
sort
of
thing
to
tell
’em
,
”
remarked
Henry
,
as
,
with
his
napkin
over
his
arm
,
he
leant
against
one
of
the
pillars
of
the
verandah
,
and
sipped
the
glass
of
Burgundy
I
had
poured
out
for
him
;
“
and
they
wouldn’t
believe
it
if
you
did
tell
’em
,
not
one
of
’em
.
But
it’s
the
truth
,
for
all
that
.
Without
the
clothes
they
couldn’t
do
it
.
”
“
Who
wouldn’t
believe
what
?
”
I
asked
.
He
had
a
curious
habit
,
had
Henry
,
of
commenting
aloud
upon
his
own
unspoken
thoughts
,
thereby
bestowing
upon
his
conversation
much
of
the
quality
of
the
double
acrostic
.
We
had
been
discussing
the
question
whether
sardines
served
their
purpose
better
as
a
hors
d’œuvre
or
as
a
savoury
;
and
I
found
myself
wondering
for
the
moment
why
sardines
,
above
all
other
fish
,
should
be
of
an
unbelieving
nature
;
while
endeavouring
to
picture
to
myself
the
costume
best
adapted
to
display
the
somewhat
difficult
figure
of
a
sardine
.
Henry
put
down
his
glass
,
and
came
to
my
rescue
with
the
necessary
explanation
.
“
Why
,
women
—
that
they
can
tell
one
baby
from
another
,
without
its
clothes
.
I’ve
got
a
sister
,
a
monthly
nurse
,
and
she
will
tell
you
for
a
fact
,
if
you
care
to
ask
her
,
that
up
to
three
months
of
age
there
isn’t
really
any
difference
between
’em
.
You
can
tell
a
girl
from
a
boy
and
a
Christian
child
from
a
black
heathen
,
perhaps
;
but
to
fancy
you
can
put
your
finger
on
an
unclothed
infant
and
say
:
‘That’s
a
Smith
,
or
that’s
a
Jones
,
’
as
the
case
may
be
—
why
,
it’s
sheer
nonsense
.
Take
the
things
off
’em
,
and
shake
them
up
in
a
blanket
,
and
I’ll
bet
you
what
you
like
that
which
is
which
you’d
never
be
able
to
tell
again
so
long
as
you
lived
.
”
I
agreed
with
Henry
,
so
far
as
my
own
personal
powers
of
discrimination
might
be
concerned
,
but
I
suggested
that
to
Mrs.
Jones
or
Mrs.
Smith
there
would
surely
occur
some
means
of
identification
.
“
So
they’d
tell
you
themselves
,
no
doubt
,
”
replied
Henry
;
“
and
of
course
,
I
am
not
thinking
of
cases
where
the
child
might
have
a
mole
or
a
squint
,
as
might
come
in
useful
.
But
take
’em
in
general
,
kids
are
as
much
alike
as
sardines
of
the
same
age
would
be
.
Anyhow
,
I
knew
a
case
where
a
fool
of
a
young
nurse
mixed
up
two
children
at
an
hotel
,
and
to
this
day
neither
of
those
women
is
sure
that
she’s
got
her
own
.
”
“
Do
you
mean
,
”
I
said
,
“
there
was
no
possible
means
of
distinguishing
?
”
“
There
wasn’t
a
flea-bite
to
go
by
,
”
answered
Henry
.
“
They
had
the
same
bumps
,
the
same
pimples
,
the
same
scratches
;
they
were
the
same
age
to
within
three
days
;
they
weighed
the
same
to
an
ounce
;
and
they
measured
the
same
to
an
inch
.
One
father
was
tall
and
fair
,
and
the
other
was
short
and
dark
.
The
tall
,
fair
man
had
a
dark
,
short
wife
;
and
the
short
,
dark
man
had
married
a
tall
,
fair
woman
.
For
a
week
they
changed
those
kids
to
and
fro
a
dozen
times
a
day
,
and
cried
and
quarrelled
over
them
.
Each
woman
felt
sure
she
was
the
mother
of
the
one
that
was
crowing
at
the
moment
,
and
when
it
yelled
she
was
positive
it
was
no
child
of
hers
.
They
thought
they
would
trust
to
the
instinct
of
the
children
.
Neither
child
,
so
long
as
it
wasn’t
hungry
,
appeared
to
care
a
curse
for
anybody
;
and
when
it
was
hungry
it
always
wanted
the
mother
that
the
other
kid
had
got
.
They
decided
,
in
the
end
,
to
leave
it
to
time
.
It’s
three
years
ago
now
,
and
possibly
enough
some
likeness
to
the
parents
will
develop
that
will
settle
the
question
.
All
I
say
is
,
up
to
three
months
old
you
can’t
tell
’em
,
I
don’t
care
who
says
you
can
.
”
He
paused
,
and
appeared
to
be
absorbed
in
contemplation
of
the
distant
Matterhorn
,
then
clad
in
its
rosy
robe
of
evening
.
There
was
a
vein
of
poetry
in
Henry
,
not
uncommon
among
cooks
and
waiters
.
The
perpetual
atmosphere
of
hot
food
I
am
inclined
to
think
favourable
to
the
growth
of
the
softer
emotions
.
One
of
the
most
sentimental
men
I
ever
knew
kept
a
ham-and-beef
shop
just
off
the
Farringdon
Road
.
In
the
early
morning
he
could
be
shrewd
and
business-like
,
but
when
hovering
with
a
knife
and
fork
above
the
mingled
steam
of
bubbling
sausages
and
hissing
peas-pudding
,
any
whimpering
tramp
with
any
impossible
tale
of
woe
could
impose
upon
him
easily
.
“
But
the
rummiest
go
I
ever
recollect
in
connection
with
a
baby
,
”
continued
Henry
after
a
while
,
his
gaze
still
fixed
upon
the
distant
snow-crowned
peaks
,
“
happened
to
me
at
Warwick
in
the
Jubilee
year
.
I’ll
never
forget
that
.
”
“
Is
it
a
proper
story
,
”
I
asked
,
“
a
story
fit
for
me
to
hear
?
”
On
consideration
,
Henry
saw
no
harm
in
it
,
and
told
it
to
me
accordingly
.
*
*
*
*
*
He
came
by
the
’bus
that
meets
the
4.52
.
He’d
a
handbag
and
a
sort
of
hamper
:
it
looked
to
me
like
a
linen-basket
.
He
wouldn’t
let
the
Boots
touch
the
hamper
,
but
carried
it
up
into
his
bedroom
himself
.
He
carried
it
in
front
of
him
by
the
handles
,
and
grazed
his
knuckles
at
every
second
step
.
He
slipped
going
round
the
bend
of
the
stairs
,
and
knocked
his
head
a
rattling
good
thump
against
the
balustrade
;
but
he
never
let
go
that
hamper
—
only
swore
and
plunged
on
.
I
could
see
he
was
nervous
and
excited
,
but
one
gets
used
to
nervous
and
excited
people
in
hotels
.
Whether
a
man’s
running
away
from
a
thing
,
or
running
after
a
thing
,
he
stops
at
a
hotel
on
his
way
;
and
so
long
as
he
looks
as
if
he
could
pay
his
bill
one
doesn’t
trouble
much
about
him
.
But
this
man
interested
me
:
he
was
so
uncommonly
young
and
innocent-looking
.
Besides
,
it
was
a
dull
hole
of
a
place
after
the
sort
of
jobs
I’d
been
used
to
;
and
when
you’ve
been
doing
nothing
for
three
months
but
waiting
on
commercial
gents
as
are
having
an
exceptionally
bad
season
,
and
spoony
couples
with
guide-books
,
you
get
a
bit
depressed
,
and
welcome
any
incident
,
however
slight
,
that
promises
to
be
out
of
the
common
.
I
followed
him
up
into
his
room
,
and
asked
him
if
I
could
do
anything
for
him
.
He
flopped
the
hamper
on
the
bed
with
a
sigh
of
relief
,
took
off
his
hat
,
wiped
his
head
with
his
handkerchief
,
and
then
turned
to
answer
me
.
“
Are
you
a
married
man
?
”
says
he
.
It
was
an
odd
question
to
put
to
a
waiter
,
but
coming
from
a
gent
there
was
nothing
to
be
alarmed
about
.
“
Well
,
not
exactly
,
”
I
says
—
I
was
only
engaged
at
that
time
,
and
that
not
to
my
wife
,
if
you
understand
what
I
mean
—
“
but
I
know
a
good
deal
about
it
,
”
I
says
,
“
and
if
it’s
a
matter
of
advice
—
”
“
It
isn’t
that
,
”
he
answers
,
interrupting
me
;
“
but
I
don’t
want
you
to
laugh
at
me
.
I
thought
if
you
were
a
married
man
you
would
be
able
to
understand
the
thing
better
.
Have
you
got
an
intelligent
woman
in
the
house
?
”
“
We’ve
got
women
,
”
I
says
.
“
As
to
their
intelligence
,
that’s
a
matter
of
opinion
;
they’re
the
average
sort
of
women
.
Shall
I
call
the
chambermaid
?
”
“
Ah
,
do
,
”
he
says
.
“
Wait
a
minute
,
”
he
says
;
“
we’ll
open
it
first
.
”
He
began
to
fumble
with
the
cord
,
then
he
suddenly
lets
go
and
begins
to
chuckle
to
himself
.
“
No
,
”
he
says
,
“
you
open
it
.
Open
it
carefully
;
it
will
surprise
you
.
”
I
don’t
take
much
stock
in
surprises
myself
.
My
experience
is
that
they’re
mostly
unpleasant
.
“
What’s
in
it
?
”
I
says
.
“
You’ll
see
if
you
open
it
,
”
he
says
:
“
it
won’t
hurt
you
.
”
And
off
he
goes
again
,
chuckling
to
himself
.
“
Well
,
”
I
says
to
myself
,
“
I
hope
you’re
a
harmless
specimen
.
”
Then
an
idea
struck
me
,
and
I
stopped
with
the
knot
in
my
fingers
.
“
It
ain’t
a
corpse
,
”
I
says
,
“
is
it
?
”
He
turned
as
white
as
the
sheet
on
the
bed
,
and
clutched
the
mantlepiece
.
“
Good
God
!
don’t
suggest
such
a
thing
,
”
he
says
;
“
I
never
thought
of
that
.
Open
it
quickly
.
”
“
I’d
rather
you
came
and
opened
it
yourself
,
sir
,
”
I
says
.
I
was
beginning
not
to
half
like
the
business
.
“
I
can’t
,
”
he
says
,
“
after
that
suggestion
of
yours
—
you’ve
put
me
all
in
a
tremble
.
Open
it
quick
,
man
;
tell
me
it’s
all
right
.
”
Well
,
my
own
curiosity
helped
me
.
I
cut
the
cord
,
threw
open
the
lid
,
and
looked
in
.
He
kept
his
eyes
turned
away
,
as
if
he
were
frightened
to
look
for
himself
.
“
Is
it
all
right
?
”
he
says
.
“
Is
it
alive
?
”
“
It’s
about
as
alive
,
”
I
says
,
“
as
anybody’ll
ever
want
it
to
be
,
I
should
say
.
”
“
Is
it
breathing
all
right
?
”
he
says
.
“
If
you
can’t
hear
it
breathing
,
”
I
says
,
“
I’m
afraid
you’re
deaf
.
”
You
might
have
heard
its
breathing
outside
in
the
street
.
He
listened
,
and
even
he
was
satisfied
.
“
Thank
Heaven
!
”
he
says
,
and
down
he
plumped
in
the
easy-chair
by
the
fireplace
.
“
You
know
,
I
never
thought
of
that
,
”
he
goes
on
.
“
He’s
been
shut
up
in
that
basket
for
over
an
hour
,
and
if
by
any
chance
he’d
managed
to
get
his
head
entangled
in
the
clothes
—
I’ll
never
do
such
a
fool’s
trick
again
!
”
“
You’re
fond
of
it
?
”
I
says
.
He
looked
round
at
me
.
“
Fond
of
it
,
”
he
repeats
.
“
Why
,
I’m
his
father
.
”
And
then
he
begins
to
laugh
again
.
“
Oh
!
”
I
says
.
“
Then
I
presume
I
have
the
pleasure
of
addressing
Mr.
Coster
King
?
”
“
Coster
King
?
”
he
answers
in
surprise
.
“
My
name’s
Milberry
.
”
I
says
:
“
The
father
of
this
child
,
according
to
the
label
inside
the
cover
,
is
Coster
King
out
of
Starlight
,
his
mother
being
Jenny
Deans
out
of
Darby
the
Devil
.
”
He
looks
at
me
in
a
nervous
fashion
,
and
puts
the
chair
between
us
.
It
was
evidently
his
turn
to
think
as
how
I
was
mad
.
Satisfying
himself
,
I
suppose
,
that
at
all
events
I
wasn’t
dangerous
,
he
crept
closer
till
he
could
get
a
look
inside
the
basket
.
I
never
heard
a
man
give
such
an
unearthly
yell
in
all
my
life
.
He
stood
on
one
side
of
the
bed
and
I
on
the
other
.
The
dog
,
awakened
by
the
noise
,
sat
up
and
grinned
,
first
at
one
of
us
and
then
at
the
other
.
I
took
it
to
be
a
bull-pup
of
about
nine
months
old
,
and
a
fine
specimen
for
its
age
.
“
My
child
!
”
he
shrieks
,
with
his
eyes
starting
out
of
his
head
,
“
That
thing
isn’t
my
child
.
What’s
happened
?
Am
I
going
mad
?
”
“
You’re
on
that
way
,
”
I
says
,
and
so
he
was
.
“
Calm
yourself
,
”
I
says
;
“
what
did
you
expect
to
see
?
”
“
My
child
,
”
he
shrieks
again
;
“
my
only
child
—
my
baby
!
”
“
Do
you
mean
a
real
child
?
”
I
says
,
“
a
human
child
?
”
Some
folks
have
such
a
silly
way
of
talking
about
their
dogs
—
you
never
can
tell
.
“
Of
course
I
do
,
”
he
says
;
“
the
prettiest
child
you
ever
saw
in
all
your
life
,
just
thirteen
weeks
old
on
Sunday
.
He
cut
his
first
tooth
yesterday
.
”
The
sight
of
the
dog’s
face
seemed
to
madden
him
.
He
flung
himself
upon
the
basket
,
and
would
,
I
believe
,
have
strangled
the
poor
beast
if
I
hadn’t
interposed
between
them
.
“
’Tain’t
the
dog’s
fault
,
”
I
says
;
“
I
daresay
he’s
as
sick
about
the
whole
business
as
you
are
.
He’s
lost
,
too
.
Somebody’s
been
having
a
lark
with
you
.
They’ve
took
your
baby
out
and
put
this
in
—
that
is
,
if
there
ever
was
a
baby
there
.
”
“
What
do
you
mean
?
”
he
says
.
“
Well
,
sir
,
”
I
says
,
“
if
you’ll
excuse
me
,
gentlemen
in
their
sober
senses
don’t
take
their
babies
about
in
dog-baskets
.
Where
do
you
come
from
?
”
“
From
Banbury
,
”
he
says
;
“
I’m
well
known
in
Banbury
.
”
“
I
can
quite
believe
it
,
”
I
says
;
“
you’re
the
sort
of
young
man
that
would
be
known
anywhere
.
”
“
I’m
Mr.
Milberry
,
”
he
says
,
“
the
grocer
,
in
the
High
Street
.
”
“
Then
what
are
you
doing
here
with
this
dog
?
”
I
says
.
“
Don’t
irritate
me
,
”
he
answers
.
“
I
tell
you
I
don’t
know
myself
.
My
wife’s
stopping
here
at
Warwick
,
nursing
her
mother
,
and
in
every
letter
she’s
written
home
for
the
last
fortnight
she’s
said
,
‘Oh
,
how
I
do
long
to
see
Eric
!
If
only
I
could
see
Eric
for
a
moment
!
’
”
“
A
very
motherly
sentiment
,
”
I
says
,
“
which
does
her
credit
.
”
“
So
this
afternoon
,
”
continues
he
,
“
it
being
early-closing
day
,
I
thought
I’d
bring
the
child
here
,
so
that
she
might
see
it
,
and
see
that
it
was
all
right
.
She
can’t
leave
her
mother
for
more
than
about
an
hour
,
and
I
can’t
go
up
to
the
house
,
because
the
old
lady
doesn’t
like
me
,
and
I
excite
her
.
I
wish
to
wait
here
,
and
Milly
—
that’s
my
wife
—
was
to
come
to
me
when
she
could
get
away
.
I
meant
this
to
be
a
surprise
to
her
.
”
“
And
I
guess
,
”
I
says
,
“
it
will
be
the
biggest
one
you
have
ever
given
her
.
”
“
Don’t
try
to
be
funny
about
it
,
”
he
says
;
“
I’m
not
altogether
myself
,
and
I
may
do
you
an
injury
.
”
He
was
right
.
It
wasn’t
a
subject
for
joking
,
though
it
had
its
humorous
side
.
“
But
why
,
”
I
says
,
“
put
it
in
a
dog-basket
?
”
“
It
isn’t
a
dog-basket
,
”
he
answers
irritably
;
“
it’s
a
picnic
hamper
.
At
the
last
moment
I
found
I
hadn’t
got
the
face
to
carry
the
child
in
my
arms
:
I
thought
of
what
the
street-boys
would
call
out
after
me
.
He’s
a
rare
one
to
sleep
,
and
I
thought
if
I
made
him
comfortable
in
that
he
couldn’t
hurt
,
just
for
so
short
a
journey
.
I
took
it
in
the
carriage
with
me
,
and
carried
it
on
my
knees
;
I
haven’t
let
it
out
of
my
hands
a
blessed
moment
.
It’s
witchcraft
,
that’s
what
it
is
.
I
shall
believe
in
the
devil
after
this
.
”
“
Don’t
be
ridiculous
,
”
I
says
,
“
there’s
some
explanation
;
it
only
wants
finding
.
You
are
sure
this
is
the
identical
hamper
you
packed
the
child
in
?
”
He
was
calmer
now
.
He
leant
over
and
examined
it
carefully
.
“
It
looks
like
it
,
”
he
says
;
“
but
I
can’t
swear
to
it
.
”
“
You
tell
me
,
”
I
says
,
“
you
never
let
it
go
out
of
your
hands
.
Now
think
.
”
“
No
,
”
he
says
,
“
it’s
been
on
my
knees
all
the
time
.
”
“
But
that’s
nonsense
,
”
I
says
;
“
unless
you
packed
the
dog
yourself
in
mistake
for
your
baby
.
Now
think
it
over
quietly
.
I’m
not
your
wife
,
I’m
only
trying
to
help
you
.
I
shan’t
say
anything
even
if
you
did
take
your
eyes
off
the
thing
for
a
minute
.
”
He
thought
again
,
and
a
light
broke
over
his
face
.
“
By
Jove
!
”
he
says
,
“
you’re
right
.
I
did
put
it
down
for
a
moment
on
the
platform
at
Banbury
while
I
bought
a
‘Tit-Bits.’
”
“
There
you
are
,
”
I
says
;
“
now
you’re
talking
sense
.
And
wait
a
minute
;
isn’t
to-morrow
the
first
day
of
the
Birmingham
Dog
Show
?
”
“
I
believe
you’re
right
,
”
he
says
.
“
Now
we’re
getting
warm
,
”
I
says
.
“
By
a
coincidence
this
dog
was
being
taken
to
Birmingham
,
packed
in
a
hamper
exactly
similar
to
the
one
you
put
your
baby
in
.
You’ve
got
this
man’s
bull-pup
,
he’s
got
your
baby
;
and
I
wouldn’t
like
to
say
off-hand
at
this
moment
which
of
you’s
feeling
the
madder
.
As
likely
as
not
,
he
thinks
you’ve
done
it
on
purpose
.
”
He
leant
his
head
against
the
bed-post
and
groaned
.
“
Milly
may
be
here
at
any
moment
,
”
says
he
,
“
and
I’ll
have
to
tell
her
the
baby’s
been
sent
by
mistake
to
a
Dog
Show
!
I
daresn’t
do
it
,
”
he
says
,
“
I
daresn’t
do
it
.
”
“
Go
on
to
Birmingham
,
”
I
says
,
“
and
try
and
find
it
.
You
can
catch
the
quarter
to
six
and
be
back
here
before
eight
.
”
“
Come
with
me
,
”
he
says
;
“
you’re
a
good
man
,
come
with
me
.
I
ain’t
fit
to
go
by
myself
.
”
He
was
right
;
he’d
have
got
run
over
outside
the
door
,
the
state
he
was
in
then
.
“
Well
,
”
I
says
,
“
if
the
guv’nor
don’t
object
—
”
“
Oh
!
he
won’t
,
he
can’t
,
”
cries
the
young
fellow
,
wringing
his
hands
.
“
Tell
him
it’s
a
matter
of
a
life’s
happiness
.
Tell
him
—
”
“
I’ll
tell
him
it’s
a
matter
of
half
sovereign
extra
on
to
the
bill
,
”
I
says
.
“
That’ll
more
likely
do
the
trick
.
”
And
so
it
did
,
with
the
result
that
in
another
twenty
minutes
me
and
young
Milberry
and
the
bull-pup
in
its
hamper
were
in
a
third-class
carriage
on
our
way
to
Birmingham
.
Then
the
difficulties
of
the
chase
began
to
occur
to
me
.
Suppose
by
luck
I
was
right
;
suppose
the
pup
was
booked
for
the
Birmingham
Dog
Show
;
and
suppose
by
a
bit
more
luck
a
gent
with
a
hamper
answering
description
had
been
noticed
getting
out
of
the
5.13
train
;
then
where
were
we
?
We
might
have
to
interview
every
cabman
in
the
town
.
As
likely
as
not
,
by
the
time
we
did
find
the
kid
,
it
wouldn’t
be
worth
the
trouble
of
unpacking
.
Still
,
it
wasn’t
my
cue
to
blab
my
thoughts
.
The
father
,
poor
fellow
,
was
feeling
,
I
take
it
,
just
about
as
bad
as
he
wanted
to
feel
.
My
business
was
to
put
hope
into
him
;
so
when
he
asked
me
for
about
the
twentieth
time
if
I
thought
as
he
would
ever
see
his
child
alive
again
,
I
snapped
him
up
shortish
.
“
Don’t
you
fret
yourself
about
that
,
”
I
says
.
“
You’ll
see
a
good
deal
of
that
child
before
you’ve
done
with
it
.
Babies
ain’t
the
sort
of
things
as
gets
lost
easily
.
It’s
only
on
the
stage
that
folks
ever
have
any
particular
use
for
other
people’s
children
.
I’ve
known
some
bad
characters
in
my
time
,
but
I’d
have
trusted
the
worst
of
’em
with
a
wagon-load
of
other
people’s
kids
.
Don’t
you
flatter
yourself
you’re
going
to
lose
it
!
Whoever’s
got
it
,
you
take
it
from
me
,
his
idea
is
to
do
the
honest
thing
,
and
never
rest
till
he’s
succeeded
in
returning
it
to
the
rightful
owner
.
”
Well
,
my
talking
like
that
cheered
him
,
and
when
we
reached
Birmingham
he
was
easier
.
We
tackled
the
station-master
,
and
he
tackled
all
the
porters
who
could
have
been
about
the
platform
when
the
5.13
came
in
.
All
of
’em
agreed
that
no
gent
got
out
of
that
train
carrying
a
hamper
.
The
station-master
was
a
family
man
himself
,
and
when
we
explained
the
case
to
him
he
sympathised
and
telegraphed
to
Banbury
.
The
booking-clerk
at
Banbury
remembered
only
three
gents
booking
by
that
particular
train
.
One
had
been
Mr.
Jessop
,
the
corn-chandler
;
the
second
was
a
stranger
,
who
had
booked
to
Wolverhampton
;
and
the
third
had
been
young
Milberry
himself
.
The
business
began
to
look
hopeless
,
when
one
of
Smith’s
newsboys
,
who
was
hanging
around
,
struck
in
:
“
I
see
an
old
lady
,
”
says
he
,
“
hovering
about
outside
the
station
,
and
a-hailing
cabs
,
and
she
had
a
hamper
with
her
as
was
as
like
that
one
there
as
two
peas
.
”
I
thought
young
Milberry
would
have
fallen
upon
the
boy’s
neck
and
kissed
him
.
With
the
boy
to
help
us
,
we
started
among
the
cabmen
.
Old
ladies
with
dog-baskets
ain’t
so
difficult
to
trace
.
She
had
gone
to
a
small
second-rate
hotel
in
the
Aston
Road
.
I
heard
all
particulars
from
the
chambermaid
,
and
the
old
girl
seems
to
have
had
as
bad
a
time
in
her
way
as
my
gent
had
in
his
.
They
couldn’t
get
the
hamper
into
the
cab
,
it
had
to
go
on
the
top
.
The
old
lady
was
very
worried
,
as
it
was
raining
at
the
time
,
and
she
made
the
cabman
cover
it
with
his
apron
.
Getting
it
off
the
cab
they
dropped
the
whole
thing
in
the
road
;
that
woke
the
child
up
,
and
it
began
to
cry
.
“
Good
Lord
,
Ma’am
!
what
is
it
?
”
asks
the
chambermaid
,
“
a
baby
?
”
“
Yes
,
my
dear
,
it’s
my
baby
,
”
answers
the
old
lady
,
who
seems
to
have
been
a
cheerful
sort
of
old
soul
—
leastways
,
she
was
cheerful
up
to
then
.
“
Poor
dear
,
I
hope
they
haven’t
hurt
him
.
”
The
old
lady
had
ordered
a
room
with
a
fire
in
it
.
The
Boots
took
the
hamper
up
,
and
laid
it
on
the
hearthrug
.
The
old
lady
said
she
and
the
chambermaid
would
see
to
it
,
and
turned
him
out
.
By
this
time
,
according
to
the
girl’s
account
,
it
was
roaring
like
a
steam-siren
.
“
Pretty
dear
!
”
says
the
old
lady
,
fumbling
with
the
cord
,
“
don’t
cry
;
mother’s
opening
it
as
fast
as
she
can
.
”
Then
she
turns
to
the
chambermaid
—
“
If
you
open
my
bag
,
”
says
she
,
“
you
will
find
a
bottle
of
milk
and
some
dog-biscuits
.
”
“
Dog-biscuits
!
”
says
the
chambermaid
.
“
Yes
,
”
says
the
old
lady
,
laughing
,
“
my
baby
loves
dog-biscuits
.
”
The
girl
opened
the
bag
,
and
there
,
sure
enough
,
was
a
bottle
of
milk
and
half
a
dozen
Spratt’s
biscuits
.
She
had
her
back
to
the
old
lady
,
when
she
heard
a
sort
of
a
groan
and
a
thud
as
made
her
turn
round
.
The
old
lady
was
lying
stretched
dead
on
the
hearthrug
—
so
the
chambermaid
thought
.
The
kid
was
sitting
up
in
the
hamper
yelling
the
roof
off
.
In
her
excitement
,
not
knowing
what
she
was
doing
,
she
handed
it
a
biscuit
,
which
it
snatched
at
greedily
and
began
sucking
.
Then
she
set
to
work
to
slap
the
old
lady
back
to
life
again
.
In
about
a
minute
the
poor
old
soul
opened
her
eyes
and
looked
round
.
The
baby
was
quiet
now
,
gnawing
the
dog-biscuit
.
The
old
lady
looked
at
the
child
,
then
turned
and
hid
her
face
against
the
chambermaid’s
bosom
.
“
What
is
it
?
”
she
says
,
speaking
in
an
awed
voice
.
“
The
thing
in
the
hamper
?
”
“
It’s
a
baby
,
Ma’am
,
”
says
the
maid
.
“
You’re
sure
it
ain’t
a
dog
?
”
says
the
old
lady
.
“
Look
again
.
”
The
girl
began
to
feel
nervous
,
and
to
wish
that
she
wasn’t
alone
with
the
old
lady
.
“
I
ain’t
likely
to
mistake
a
dog
for
a
baby
,
Ma’am
,
”
says
the
girl
.
“
It’s
a
child
—
a
human
infant
.
”
The
old
lady
began
to
cry
softly
.
“
It’s
a
judgment
on
me
,
”
she
says
.
“
I
used
to
talk
to
that
dog
as
if
it
had
been
a
Christian
,
and
now
this
thing
has
happened
as
a
punishment
.
”
“
What’s
happened
?
”
says
the
chambermaid
,
who
was
naturally
enough
growing
more
and
more
curious
.
“
I
don’t
know
,
”
says
the
old
lady
,
sitting
up
on
the
floor
.
“
If
this
isn’t
a
dream
,
and
if
I
ain’t
mad
,
I
started
from
my
home
at
Farthinghoe
,
two
hours
ago
,
with
a
one-year-old
bulldog
packed
in
that
hamper
.
You
saw
me
open
it
;
you
see
what’s
inside
it
now
.
”
“
But
bulldogs
,
”
says
the
chambermaid
,
“
ain’t
changed
into
babies
by
magic
.
”
“
I
don’t
know
how
it’s
done
,
”
says
the
old
lady
,
“
and
I
don’t
see
that
it
matters
.
I
know
I
started
with
a
bulldog
,
and
somehow
or
other
it’s
got
turned
into
that
.
”
“
Somebody’s
put
it
there
,
”
says
the
chambermaid
;
“
somebody
as
wanted
to
get
rid
of
a
child
.
They’ve
took
your
dog
out
and
put
that
in
its
place
.
”
“
They
must
have
been
precious
smart
,
”
says
the
old
lady
;
“
the
hamper
hasn’t
been
out
of
my
sight
for
more
than
five
minutes
,
when
I
went
into
the
refreshment-room
at
Banbury
for
a
cup
of
tea
.
”
“
That’s
when
they
did
it
,
”
says
the
chambermaid
,
“
and
a
clever
trick
it
was
.
”
The
old
lady
suddenly
grasped
her
position
,
and
jumped
up
from
the
floor
.
“
And
a
nice
thing
for
me
,
”
she
says
.
“
An
unmarried
woman
in
a
scandal-mongering
village
!
This
is
awful
!
”
“
It’s
a
fine-looking
child
,
”
says
the
chambermaid
.
“
Would
you
like
it
?
”
says
the
old
lady
.
The
chambermaid
said
she
wouldn’t
.
The
old
lady
sat
down
and
tried
to
think
,
and
the
more
she
thought
the
worse
she
felt
.
The
chambermaid
was
positive
that
if
we
hadn’t
come
when
we
did
the
poor
creature
would
have
gone
mad
.
When
the
Boots
appeared
at
the
door
to
say
there
was
a
gent
and
a
bulldog
downstairs
enquiring
after
a
baby
,
she
flung
her
arms
round
the
man’s
neck
and
hugged
him
.
We
just
caught
the
train
to
Warwick
,
and
by
luck
got
back
to
the
hotel
ten
minutes
before
the
mother
turned
up
.
Young
Milberry
carried
the
child
in
his
arms
all
the
way
.
He
said
I
could
have
the
hamper
for
myself
,
and
gave
me
half-a-sovereign
extra
on
the
understanding
that
I
kept
my
mouth
shut
,
which
I
did
.
I
don’t
think
he
ever
told
the
child’s
mother
what
had
happened
—
leastways
,
if
he
wasn’t
a
fool
right
through
,
he
didn’t
.
THE
PROBATION
OF
JAMES
WRENCH
.
“
There
are
two
sorts
of
men
as
gets
hen-pecked
,
”
remarked
Henry
—
I
forgot
how
the
subject
had
originated
,
but
we
had
been
discussing
the
merits
of
Henry
VIII
.
,
considered
as
a
father
and
a
husband
,
—
“
the
sort
as
likes
it
and
the
sort
as
don’t
,
and
I
wouldn’t
be
too
cocksure
that
the
sort
as
does
isn’t
on
the
whole
in
the
majority
.
“
You
see
,
”
continued
Henry
argumentatively
,
“
it
gives
,
as
it
were
,
a
kind
of
interest
to
life
which
nowadays
,
with
everything
going
smoothly
,
and
no
chance
of
a
row
anywhere
except
in
your
own
house
,
is
apt
to
become
a
bit
monotonous
.
There
was
a
chap
I
got
to
know
pretty
well
one
winter
when
I
was
working
in
Dresden
at
the
Europäischer
Hof
:
a
quiet
,
meek
little
man
he
was
,
a
journeyman
butcher
by
trade
;
and
his
wife
was
a
dressmaker
,
a
Schneiderin
,
as
they
call
them
over
there
,
and
ran
a
fairly
big
business
in
the
Praguer
Strasse
.
I’ve
always
been
told
that
German
husbands
are
the
worst
going
,
treating
their
wives
like
slaves
,
or
,
at
the
best
,
as
mere
upper
servants
.
But
my
experience
is
that
human
nature
don’t
alter
so
much
according
to
distance
from
London
as
we
fancy
it
does
,
and
that
husbands
have
their
troubles
same
as
wives
all
the
world
over
.
Anyhow
,
I’ve
come
across
a
German
husband
or
two
as
didn’t
carry
about
with
him
any
sign
of
the
slave
driver
such
as
you
might
notice
,
at
all
events
not
in
his
own
house
;
and
I
know
for
a
fact
that
Meister
Anton
,
which
was
the
name
of
the
chap
I’m
telling
you
about
,
couldn’t
have
been
much
worse
off
,
not
even
if
he’d
been
an
Englishman
born
and
bred
.
There
were
no
children
to
occupy
her
mind
,
so
she
just
devoted
herself
to
him
and
the
work-girls
,
and
made
things
hum
,
as
they
say
in
America
,
for
all
of
them
.
As
for
the
girls
,
they
got
away
at
six
in
the
evening
,
and
not
many
of
them
stopped
more
than
the
first
month
.
But
the
old
man
,
not
being
able
to
give
notice
,
had
to
put
up
with
an
average
of
eighteen
hours
a
day
of
it
.
And
even
when
,
as
was
sometimes
the
case
,
he
managed
to
get
away
for
an
hour
or
two
in
the
evening
for
a
quiet
talk
with
a
few
of
us
over
a
glass
of
beer
,
he
could
never
be
quite
happy
,
thinking
of
what
was
accumulating
for
him
at
home
.
Of
course
everybody
as
knew
him
knew
of
his
troubles
—
for
a
scolding
wife
ain’t
the
sort
of
thing
as
can
be
hid
under
a
bushel
,
—
and
was
sorry
for
him
,
he
being
as
amiable
and
good-tempered
a
fellow
as
ever
lived
,
and
most
of
us
spent
our
time
with
him
advising
him
for
his
good
.
Some
of
the
more
ardent
would
give
him
recipes
for
managing
her
,
but
they
,
being
generally
speaking
bachelors
,
their
suggestions
lacked
practicability
,
as
you
might
say
.
One
man
bored
his
life
out
persuading
him
to
try
a
bucket
of
cold
water
.
He
was
one
of
those
cold-water
enthusiasts
,
this
fellow
;
took
it
himself
for
everything
,
and
always
went
to
a
hydropathic
establishment
for
his
holidays
.
Rumour
had
it
that
Meister
Anton
really
did
try
this
experiment
on
one
unfortunate
occasion
—
worried
into
it
,
I
suppose
,
by
the
other
chap’s
persistency
.
Anyhow
,
we
didn’t
see
him
again
for
a
week
,
he
being
confined
to
his
bed
with
a
chill
on
the
liver
.
And
the
next
suggestion
made
to
him
he
rejected
quite
huffily
,
explaining
that
he
had
no
intention
of
putting
any
fresh
ideas
into
his
wife’s
head
.
“
She
wasn’t
a
bad
woman
,
mind
you
—
merely
given
to
fits
of
temper
.
At
times
she
could
be
quite
pleasant
:
but
when
she
wasn’t
life
with
her
must
have
been
exciting
.
He
had
stood
it
for
about
seven
years
;
and
then
one
day
,
without
a
word
of
warning
to
anyone
,
he
went
away
and
left
her
.
As
she
was
quite
able
to
keep
herself
,
this
seemed
to
be
the
best
arrangement
possible
,
and
everybody
wondered
why
he
had
never
thought
of
it
before
,
I
did
not
see
him
again
for
nine
months
,
until
I
ran
against
him
by
pure
chance
on
the
Köln
platform
,
where
I
was
waiting
for
a
train
to
Paris
.
He
told
me
they
had
made
up
all
their
differences
by
correspondence
,
and
that
he
was
then
on
his
way
back
to
her
.
He
seemed
quite
cheerful
and
expectant
.
“
‘Do
you
think
she’s
really
reformed
?
’
I
says
.
‘Do
you
think
nine
months
is
long
enough
to
have
taught
her
a
lesson
?
’
I
didn’t
want
to
damp
him
,
but
personally
I
have
never
known
but
one
case
of
a
woman
being
cured
of
nagging
,
and
that
being
brought
about
by
a
fall
from
a
third-story
window
,
resulting
in
what
the
doctors
called
permanent
paralysis
of
the
vocal
organs
,
can
hardly
be
taken
as
a
precedent
.
“
‘No
,
’
he
answers
,
‘nor
nine
years
.
But
it’s
been
long
enough
to
teach
me
a
lesson.’
“
‘You
know
me
,
’
he
goes
on
.
‘I
ain’t
a
quarrelsome
sort
of
chap
.
If
nobody
says
a
word
to
me
,
I
never
says
a
word
to
anybody
;
and
it’s
been
like
that
ever
since
I
left
her
,
day
in
and
day
out
,
all
just
the
same
.
Up
in
the
morning
,
do
your
bit
of
work
,
drink
your
glass
of
beer
,
and
to
bed
in
the
evening
;
nothing
to
excite
you
,
nothing
to
rouse
you
.
Why
,
it’s
a
mere
animal
existence.’
“
He
was
a
rum
sort
of
chap
,
always
thought
things
out
from
his
own
point
of
view
as
it
were
.
”
“
Yes
,
a
curious
case
,
”
I
remarked
to
Henry
;
“
not
the
sort
of
story
to
put
about
,
however
.
It
might
give
women
the
idea
that
nagging
is
attractive
,
and
encourage
them
to
try
it
upon
husbands
who
do
not
care
for
that
kind
of
excitement
.
”
“
Not
much
fear
of
that
,
”
replied
Henry
.
“
The
nagging
woman
is
born
,
as
they
say
,
not
made
;
and
she’ll
nag
like
the
roses
bloom
,
not
because
she
wants
to
,
but
because
she
can’t
help
it
.
And
a
woman
to
whom
it
don’t
come
natural
will
never
be
any
real
good
at
it
,
try
as
she
may
.
And
as
for
the
men
,
why
we’ll
just
go
on
selecting
wives
according
to
the
old
rule
,
so
that
you
never
know
what
you’ve
got
till
it’s
too
late
for
you
to
do
anything
but
make
the
best
or
the
worst
of
it
,
according
as
your
fancy
takes
you
.
“
There
was
a
fellow
,
”
continued
Henry
,
“
as
used
to
work
with
me
a
good
many
years
ago
now
at
a
small
hotel
in
the
City
.
He
was
a
waiter
,
like
myself
—
not
a
bad
sort
of
chap
,
though
a
bit
of
a
toff
in
his
off-hours
.
He’d
been
engaged
for
some
two
or
three
years
to
one
of
the
chambermaids
.
A
pretty
,
gentle-looking
little
thing
she
was
,
with
big
childish
eyes
,
and
a
voice
like
the
pouring
out
of
water
.
They
are
strange
things
,
women
;
one
can
never
tell
what
they
are
made
of
from
the
taste
of
them
.
And
while
I
was
there
,
it
having
been
a
good
season
for
both
of
them
,
they
thought
they’d
risk
it
and
get
married
.
They
did
the
sensible
thing
,
he
coming
back
to
his
work
after
the
week’s
holiday
,
and
she
to
hers
;
the
only
difference
being
that
they
took
a
couple
of
rooms
of
their
own
in
Middleton
Row
,
from
where
in
summer-time
you
can
catch
the
glimpse
of
a
green
tree
or
two
,
and
slept
out
.
“
The
first
few
months
they
were
as
happy
as
a
couple
in
a
play
,
she
thinking
almost
as
much
of
him
as
he
thought
of
himself
,
which
must
have
been
a
comfort
to
both
of
them
,
and
he
as
proud
of
her
as
if
he
made
her
himself
.
And
then
some
fifteenth
cousin
or
so
of
his
,
a
man
he
had
never
heard
of
before
,
died
in
New
Zealand
and
left
him
a
fortune
.
“
That
was
the
beginning
of
his
troubles
,
and
hers
too
.
I
don’t
say
it
was
enough
to
buy
a
peerage
,
but
to
a
man
accustomed
to
dream
of
half-crown
tips
it
seemed
an
enormous
fortune
.
Anyhow
,
it
was
sufficient
to
turn
his
head
and
give
him
ideas
above
his
station
.
His
first
move
,
of
course
,
was
to
chuck
his
berth
and
set
fire
to
his
dress
suit
,
which
,
being
tolerably
greasy
,
burned
well
.
Had
he
stopped
there
nobody
could
have
blamed
him
.
I’ve
often
thought
myself
that
I
would
willingly
give
ten
years
of
my
life
,
provided
anybody
wanted
them
,
which
I
don’t
see
how
they
should
,
to
put
my
own
behind
the
fire
.
But
he
didn’t
.
He
took
a
house
in
a
mews
,
with
the
front
door
in
a
street
off
Grosvenor
Square
,
furnished
it
like
a
second-class
German
restaurant
,
dressed
himself
like
a
bookmaker
,
and
fancied
that
with
the
help
of
a
few
shady
City
chaps
and
a
broken-down
swell
or
two
he
had
gathered
round
him
,
he
was
fairly
on
the
road
to
Park
Lane
and
the
House
of
Lords
.
“
And
the
only
thing
that
struck
him
as
being
at
all
in
his
way
was
his
wife
.
In
her
cap
and
apron
,
or
her
Sunday
print
she
had
always
looked
as
dainty
and
fetching
a
little
piece
of
goods
as
a
man
could
wish
to
be
seen
out
with
.
Dressed
according
to
the
advice
of
his
new-found
friends
,
of
course
she
looked
like
nothing
else
so
much
as
a
barn-yard
chicken
in
turkey-cock’s
feathers
.
He
was
shocked
to
find
that
her
size
in
gloves
was
seven-and-a-quarter
,
and
in
boots
something
over
four
,
and
that
sort
of
thing
naturally
irritates
a
woman
more
even
than
finding
fault
with
her
immortal
soul
.
I
guess
for
about
a
year
he
made
her
life
pretty
well
a
burden
for
her
,
trying
to
bring
her
up
to
the
standard
of
the
Saturday-to-Monday-at-Brighton
set
with
which
he
had
surrounded
himself
,
or
which
,
to
speak
more
correctly
,
had
got
round
him
.
She’d
a
precious
sight
more
gumption
than
he
had
ever
possessed
,
and
if
he
had
listened
to
her
instead
of
insisting
upon
her
listening
to
him
it
would
have
been
better
for
him
.
But
there
are
some
men
who
think
that
if
you
have
a
taste
for
champagne
and
the
ballet
that
proves
you
are
intended
by
nature
for
a
nob
,
and
he
was
one
of
them
;
and
any
common-sense
suggestion
of
hers
only
convinced
him
of
her
natural
unfitness
for
an
exalted
station
.
“
He
grumbled
at
her
accent
,
which
,
seeing
that
his
own
was
acquired
in
Lime-house
and
finished
off
in
the
Minories
,
was
just
the
sort
of
thing
a
fool
would
do
.
And
he
insisted
on
her
reading
all
the
society
novels
as
they
came
out
—
you
know
the
sort
I
mean
,
—
where
everybody
snaps
everybody
else’s
head
off
,
and
all
the
proverbs
are
upside
down
;
people
leave
them
about
the
hotels
when
they’ve
done
with
them
,
and
one
gets
into
the
habit
of
dipping
into
them
when
one’s
nothing
better
to
do
.
His
hope
was
that
she
might
,
with
pains
,
get
to
talk
like
these
books
.
That
was
his
ideal
.
“
She
did
her
best
,
but
of
course
the
more
she
got
away
from
herself
the
more
absurd
she
became
;
and
the
rubbish
and
worse
that
he
had
about
him
would
ridicule
her
more
or
less
openly
.
And
he
,
instead
of
kicking
them
out
into
the
mews
—
which
could
have
been
done
easily
without
Grosvenor
Square
knowing
anything
about
it
,
and
thereby
having
its
high-class
feelings
hurt
—
he
would
blame
her
when
they
had
all
gone
,
just
as
if
it
was
her
fault
that
she
was
the
daughter
of
a
respectable
bootmaker
in
the
Mile
End
Road
instead
of
something
more
likely
than
not
turned
out
of
the
third
row
of
the
ballet
because
it
couldn’t
dance
,
and
didn’t
want
to
learn
.
“
He
played
a
bit
in
the
City
,
and
won
at
first
,
and
that
swelled
his
head
worse
than
ever
.
It
also
brought
him
a
good
deal
of
sympathy
from
an
Italian
Countess
,
the
sort
you
find
at
Homburg
,
and
that
generally
speaking
is
a
widow
.
Her
chief
sorrow
was
for
society
—
that
in
him
was
losing
an
ornament
.
She
explained
to
him
how
an
accomplished
and
experienced
woman
could
help
a
man
to
gain
admittance
into
the
tiptop
circles
,
which
,
according
to
her
,
were
just
thirsting
for
him
.
As
a
waiter
,
he
had
his
share
of
brains
,
and
it’s
a
business
that
requires
more
insight
than
perhaps
you’d
fancy
,
if
you
don’t
want
to
waste
your
time
on
a
rabbit-skin
coat
and
a
paste
ring
,
and
give
the
burnt
sole
to
the
real
gent
.
But
in
the
hands
of
this
swell
mob
he
was
,
of
course
,
just
the
young
man
from
the
country
;
and
the
end
of
it
was
that
he
played
the
game
down
pretty
low
.
“
She
—
not
the
Countess
,
I
shouldn’t
like
you
to
have
that
idea
,
but
his
wife
—
came
to
be
pretty
friendly
with
my
missus
later
on
,
and
that’s
how
I
got
to
know
the
details
.
He
comes
to
her
one
day
looking
pretty
sheepish-like
,
as
one
can
well
believe
,
and
maybe
he’d
been
drinking
a
bit
to
give
himself
courage
.
“
‘We
ain’t
been
getting
along
too
well
together
of
late
,
have
we
,
Susan
?
’
says
he
.
“
‘We
ain’t
seen
much
of
one
another
,
’
she
answers
;
‘but
I
agree
with
you
,
we
don’t
seem
to
enjoy
it
much
when
we
do.’
“
‘It
ain’t
your
fault
,
’
says
he
.
“
‘I’m
glad
you
think
that
,
’
she
answers
;
‘it
shows
me
you
ain’t
quite
as
foolish
as
I
was
beginning
to
think
you.’
“
‘Of
course
,
I
didn’t
know
when
I
married
you
,
’
he
goes
on
,
‘as
I
was
going
to
come
into
this
money.’
“
‘No
,
nor
I
either
,
’
says
she
,
‘or
you
bet
it
wouldn’t
have
happened.’
“
‘It
seems
to
have
been
a
bit
of
a
mistake
,
’
says
he
,
‘as
things
have
turned
out.’
“
‘It
would
have
been
a
mistake
,
and
more
than
a
bit
of
a
one
in
any
case
,
’
answers
she
.
“
‘I’m
glad
you
agree
with
me
,
’
says
he
;
‘there’ll
be
no
need
to
quarrel.’
“
‘I’ve
always
tried
to
agree
with
you
,
’
says
she
.
‘We’ve
never
quarrelled
yet
,
and
that
ought
to
be
sufficient
proof
to
you
that
we
never
shall.’
“
‘It’s
a
mistake
that
can
be
rectified
,
’
says
he
,
‘if
you
are
sensible
,
and
that
without
any
harm
to
anyone.’
“
‘Oh
!
’
says
she
,
‘it
must
be
a
new
sort
of
mistake
,
that
kind.’
“
‘We’re
not
fitted
for
one
another
,
’
says
he
.
“
‘Out
with
it
,
’
says
she
.
‘Don’t
you
be
afraid
of
my
feelings
;
they
are
well
under
control
,
as
I
think
I
can
fairly
say
by
this
time.’
“
‘With
a
man
in
your
own
station
of
life
,
’
says
he
,
‘you’d
be
happier.’
“
‘There’s
many
a
man
I
might
have
been
happier
with
,
’
replies
she
.
‘That
ain’t
the
thing
to
be
discussed
,
seeing
as
I’ve
got
you.’
“
‘You
might
get
rid
of
me
,
’
says
he
.
“
‘You
mean
you
might
get
rid
of
me
,
’
she
answers
.
“
‘It
comes
to
the
same
thing
,
’
he
says
.
“
‘No
,
it
don’t
,
’
she
replies
,
‘nor
anything
like
it
.
I
shouldn’t
have
got
rid
of
you
for
my
pleasure
,
and
I’m
not
going
to
do
it
for
yours
.
You
can
live
like
a
decent
man
,
and
I’ll
go
on
putting
up
with
you
;
or
you
can
live
like
a
fool
,
and
I
shan’t
stand
in
your
way
.
But
you
can’t
do
both
,
and
I’m
not
going
to
help
you
try.’
“
Well
,
he
argued
with
her
,
and
he
tried
the
coaxing
dodge
,
and
he
tried
the
bullying
dodge
,
but
it
didn’t
work
,
neither
of
it
.
“
‘I’ve
done
my
duty
by
you
,
’
says
she
,
‘so
far
as
I’ve
been
able
,
and
that
I’ll
go
on
doing
or
not
,
just
as
you
please
;
but
I
don’t
do
more.’
“
‘We
can’t
go
on
living
like
this
,
’
says
he
,
‘and
it
isn’t
fair
to
ask
me
to
.
You’re
hammering
my
prospects.’
“
‘I
don’t
want
to
do
that
,
’
says
she
.
‘You
take
your
proper
position
in
society
,
whatever
that
may
be
,
and
I’ll
take
mine
.
I’ll
be
glad
enough
to
get
back
to
it
,
you
may
rest
assured.’
“
‘What
do
you
mean
?
’
says
he
.
“
‘It’s
simple
enough
,
’
she
answers
.
‘I
was
earning
my
living
before
I
married
you
,
and
I
can
earn
it
again
.
You
go
your
way
,
I
go
mine.’
“
It
didn’t
satisfy
him
;
but
there
was
nothing
else
to
be
done
,
and
there
was
no
moving
her
now
in
any
other
direction
whatever
,
even
had
he
wanted
to
.
He
offered
her
anything
in
the
way
of
money
—
he
wasn’t
a
mean
chap
,
—
but
she
wouldn’t
touch
a
penny
.
She
had
kept
her
old
clothes
—
I’m
not
sure
that
some
idea
of
needing
them
hadn’t
always
been
in
her
head
,
—
applied
for
a
place
under
her
former
manager
,
who
was
then
bossing
a
hotel
in
Kensington
,
and
got
it
.
And
there
was
an
end
of
high
life
so
far
as
she
was
concerned
.
“
As
for
him
,
he
went
the
usual
way
.
It
always
seems
to
me
as
if
men
and
women
were
just
like
water
;
sooner
or
later
they
get
back
to
the
level
from
which
they
started
—
that
is
,
of
course
,
generally
speaking
.
Here
and
there
a
drop
clings
where
it
climbs
;
but
,
taking
them
on
the
whole
,
pumping-up
is
a
slow
business
.
Lord
!
I
have
seen
them
,
many
of
them
,
jolly
clever
they’ve
thought
themselves
,
with
their
diamond
rings
and
big
cigars
.
‘Wait
a
bit
,
’
I’ve
always
said
to
myself
,
‘there’ll
come
a
day
when
you’ll
walk
in
and
be
glad
enough
of
your
chop
and
potatoes
again
with
your
half-pint
of
bitter.’
And
nine
cases
out
of
ten
I’ve
been
right
.
James
Wrench
followed
the
course
of
the
majority
,
only
a
little
more
so
:
tried
to
do
others
a
precious
sight
sharper
than
himself
,
and
got
done
;
tried
a
dozen
times
to
scramble
up
again
,
each
time
coming
down
heavier
than
before
,
till
there
wasn’t
another
spring
left
in
him
,
and
his
only
ambition
victuals
.
Then
,
of
course
,
he
thought
of
his
wife
—
it’s
a
wonderful
domesticator
,
ill
luck
—
and
wondered
what
she
was
doing
.
“
Fortunately
for
him
,
she’d
been
doing
well
.
Her
father
died
and
left
her
a
bit
,
just
a
couple
of
hundred
or
so
,
and
with
this
and
her
own
savings
she
started
with
a
small
inn
in
a
growing
town
,
and
had
sold
out
again
three
years
later
at
four
times
what
she
had
paid
for
it
.
She
had
done
even
better
than
that
for
herself
.
She
had
developed
a
talent
for
cooking
—
that
was
a
settled
income
in
itself
,
—
and
at
this
time
was
running
a
small
hotel
in
Brighton
,
and
making
it
pay
to
a
tune
that
would
have
made
the
shareholders
of
some
of
its
bigger
rivals
a
bit
envious
could
they
have
known
.
“
He
came
to
me
,
having
found
out
,
I
don’t
know
how
—
necessity
smartens
the
wits
,
I
suppose
,
—
that
my
missis
still
kept
up
a
sort
of
friendship
with
her
,
and
begged
me
to
try
and
arrange
a
meeting
between
them
,
which
I
did
,
though
I
told
him
frankly
that
from
what
I
knew
his
welcome
wouldn’t
be
much
more
enthusiastic
than
what
he’d
any
right
to
expect
.
But
he
was
always
of
a
sanguine
disposition
;
and
borrowing
his
fare
and
an
old
greatcoat
of
mine
,
he
started
off
,
evidently
thinking
that
all
his
troubles
were
over
.
“
But
they
weren’t
exactly
.
The
Married
Women’s
Property
Act
had
altered
things
a
bit
,
and
Master
James
found
himself
greeted
without
any
suggestion
of
tenderness
by
a
business-like
woman
of
thirty-six
or
thereabouts
,
and
told
to
wait
in
the
room
behind
the
bar
till
she
could
find
time
to
talk
to
him
.
“
She
kept
him
waiting
there
for
three-quarters
of
an
hour
,
just
sufficient
time
to
take
the
side
out
of
him
;
and
then
she
walks
in
and
closes
the
door
behind
her
.
“
‘I’d
say
you
hadn’t
changed
hardly
a
day
,
Susan
,
’
says
he
,
‘if
it
wasn’t
that
you’d
grown
handsomer
than
ever.’
