wasnow
absorbed
on
the
one
subject
which
had
been
hitherto
so
strangely
absent
from
it
—
the
subject
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
!
My
memory
went
back
,
in
defiance
of
all
exercise
of
my
own
will
,
to
my
last
interview
with
her
.
I
saw
her
again
;
I
heard
her
again
.
I
tasted
once
more
the
momentary
rapture
of
our
last
kiss
;
I
felt
once
more
the
pang
of
sorrow
that
wrung
me
when
I
had
parted
with
her
and
found
myself
alone
in
the
street
.
Tears
—
of
which
I
was
ashamed
,
though
nobody
was
near
to
see
them
—
filled
my
eyes
when
I
thought
of
the
months
that
had
passed
since
we
had
last
looked
on
one
another
,
and
of
all
that
she
might
have
suffered
,
must
have
suffered
,
in
that
time
.
Hundreds
on
hundreds
of
miles
were
between
us
—
and
yet
she
was
now
as
near
me
as
if
she
were
walking
in
the
garden
by
my
side
!
This
strange
condition
of
my
mind
was
matched
by
an
equally
strange
condition
of
my
body
.
A
mysterious
trembling
shuddered
over
me
faintly
from
head
to
foot
.
I
walked
without
feeling
the
ground
as
I
trod
on
it
;
I
looked
about
me
with
no
distinct
consciousness
of
what
the
objects
were
on
which
my
eyes
rested
.
My
hands
were
cold
—
and
yet
I
hardly
felt
it
.
My
head
throbbed
hotly
—
and
yet
I
was
not
sensible
of
any
pain
.
It
seemed
as
if
I
were
surrounded
and
enwrapped
in
some
electric
atmosphere
which
altered
all
the
ordinary
conditions
of
sensation
.
I
looked
up
at
the
clear
,
calm
sky
,
and
wondered
if
a
thunderstorm
was
coming
.
I
stopped
,
and
buttoned
my
coat
round
me
,
and
questioned
myself
if
I
had
caught
a
cold
,
or
if
I
was
going
to
have
a
fever
.
The
sun
sank
below
the
moorland
horizon
;
the
gray
twilight
trembled
over
the
dark
waters
of
the
lake
.
I
went
back
to
the
house
;
and
the
vivid
memory
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
,
still
in
close
companionship
,
went
back
with
me
.
The
fire
in
my
room
had
burned
low
in
my
absence
.
One
of
the
closed
curtains
had
been
drawn
back
a
few
inches
,
so
as
to
admit
through
the
window
a
ray
of
the
dying
light
.
On
the
boundary
limit
where
the
light
was
crossed
by
the
obscurity
which
filled
the
rest
of
the
room
,
I
saw
Miss
Dunross
seated
,
with
her
veil
drawn
and
her
writing-case
on
her
knee
,
waiting
my
return
.
I
hastened
to
make
my
excuses
.
I
assured
her
that
I
had
been
careful
to
tell
the
servant
where
to
find
me
.
She
gently
checked
me
before
I
could
say
more
.
“
It’s
not
Peter’s
fault
,
”
she
said
.
“
I
told
him
not
to
hurry
your
return
to
the
house
.
Have
you
enjoyed
your
walk
?
”
She
spoke
very
quietly
.
The
faint
,
sad
voice
was
fainter
and
sadder
than
ever
.
She
kept
her
head
bent
over
her
writing-case
,
instead
of
turning
it
toward
me
as
usual
while
we
were
talking
.
I
still
felt
the
mysterious
trembling
which
had
oppressed
me
in
the
garden
.
Drawing
a
chair
near
the
fire
,
I
stirred
the
embers
together
,
and
tried
to
warm
myself
.
Our
positions
in
the
room
left
some
little
distance
between
us
.
I
could
only
see
her
sidewise
,
as
she
sat
by
the
window
in
the
sheltering
darkness
of
the
curtain
which
still
remained
drawn
.
“
I
think
I
have
been
too
long
in
the
garden
,
”
I
said
.
“
I
feel
chilled
by
the
cold
evening
air
.
”
“
Will
you
have
some
more
wood
put
on
the
fire
?
”
she
asked
.
“
Can
I
get
you
anything
?
”
“
No
,
thank
you
.
I
shall
do
very
well
here
.
I
see
you
are
kindly
ready
to
write
for
me
.
”
“
Yes
,
”
she
said
,
“
at
your
own
convenience
.
When
you
are
ready
,
my
pen
is
ready
.
”
The
unacknowledged
reserve
that
had
come
between
us
since
we
had
last
spoken
together
,
was
,
I
believe
,
as
painfully
felt
by
her
as
by
me
.
We
were
no
doubt
longing
to
break
through
it
on
either
side
—
if
we
had
only
known
how
.
The
writing
of
the
letter
would
occupy
us
,
at
any
rate
.
I
made
another
effort
to
give
my
mind
to
the
subject
—
and
once
more
it
was
an
effort
made
in
vain
.
Knowing
what
I
wanted
to
say
to
my
mother
,
my
faculties
seemed
to
be
paralyzed
when
I
tried
to
say
it
.
I
sat
cowering
by
the
fire
—
and
she
sat
waiting
,
with
her
writing-case
on
her
lap
.
CHAPTER
XXII
.
SHE
CLAIMS
ME
AGAIN
.
THE
moments
passed
;
the
silence
between
us
continued
.
Miss
Dunross
made
an
attempt
to
rouse
me
.
“
Have
you
decided
to
go
back
to
Scotland
with
your
friends
at
Lerwick
?
”
she
asked
.
“
It
is
no
easy
matter
,
”
I
replied
,
“
to
decide
on
leaving
my
friends
in
this
house
.
”
Her
head
drooped
lower
on
her
bosom
;
her
voice
sunk
as
she
answered
me
.
“
Think
of
your
mother
,
”
she
said
.
“
The
first
duty
you
owe
is
your
duty
to
her
.
Your
long
absence
is
a
heavy
trial
to
her
—
your
mother
is
suffering
.
”
“
Suffering
?
”
I
repeated
.
“
Her
letters
say
nothing
—
”
“
You
forget
that
you
have
allowed
me
to
read
her
letters
,
”
Miss
Dunross
interposed
.
“
I
see
the
unwritten
and
unconscious
confession
of
anxiety
in
every
line
that
she
writes
to
you
.
You
know
,
as
well
as
I
do
,
that
there
is
cause
for
her
anxiety
.
Make
her
happy
by
telling
her
that
you
sail
for
home
with
your
friends
.
Make
her
happier
still
by
telling
her
that
you
grieve
no
more
over
the
loss
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
.
May
I
write
it
,
in
your
name
and
in
those
words
?
”
I
felt
the
strangest
reluctance
to
permit
her
to
write
in
those
terms
,
or
in
any
terms
,
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
.
The
unhappy
love-story
of
my
manhood
had
never
been
a
forbidden
subject
between
us
on
former
occasions
.
Why
did
I
feel
as
if
it
had
become
a
forbidden
subject
now
?
Why
did
I
evade
giving
her
a
direct
reply
?
“
We
have
plenty
of
time
before
us
,
”
I
said
.
“
I
want
to
speak
to
you
about
yourself
.
”
She
lifted
her
hand
in
the
obscurity
that
surrounded
her
,
as
if
to
protest
against
the
topic
to
which
I
had
returned
.
I
persisted
,
nevertheless
,
in
returning
to
it
.
“
If
I
must
go
back
,
”
I
went
on
,
“
I
may
venture
to
say
to
you
at
parting
what
I
have
not
said
yet
.
I
cannot
,
and
will
not
,
believe
that
you
are
an
incurable
invalid
.
My
education
,
as
I
have
told
you
,
has
been
the
education
of
a
medical
man
.
I
am
well
acquainted
with
some
of
the
greatest
living
physicians
,
in
Edinburgh
as
well
as
in
London
.
Will
you
allow
me
to
describe
your
malady
(
as
I
understand
it
)
to
men
who
are
accustomed
to
treat
cases
of
intricate
nervous
disorder
?
And
will
you
let
me
write
and
tell
you
the
result
?
”
I
waited
for
her
reply
.
Neither
by
word
nor
sign
did
she
encourage
the
idea
of
any
future
communication
with
her
.
I
ventured
to
suggest
another
motive
which
might
induce
her
to
receive
a
letter
from
me
.
“
In
any
case
,
I
may
find
it
necessary
to
write
to
you
,
”
I
went
on
.
“
You
firmly
believe
that
I
and
my
little
Mary
are
destined
to
meet
again
.
If
your
anticipations
are
realized
,
you
will
expect
me
to
tell
you
of
it
,
surely
?
”
Once
more
I
waited
.
She
spoke
—
but
it
was
not
to
reply
:
it
was
only
to
change
the
subject
.
“
The
time
is
passing
,
”
was
all
she
said
.
“
We
have
not
begun
your
letter
to
your
mother
yet
.
”
It
would
have
been
cruel
to
contend
with
her
any
longer
.
Her
voice
warned
me
that
she
was
suffering
.
The
faint
gleam
of
light
through
the
parted
curtains
was
fading
fast
.
It
was
time
,
indeed
,
to
write
the
letter
.
I
could
find
other
opportunities
of
speaking
to
her
before
I
left
the
house
.
“
I
am
ready
,
”
I
answered
.
“
Let
us
begin
.
”
The
first
sentence
was
easily
dictated
to
my
patient
secretary
.
I
informed
my
mother
that
my
sprained
wrist
was
nearly
restored
to
use
,
and
that
nothing
prevented
my
leaving
Shetland
when
the
lighthouse
commissioner
was
ready
to
return
.
This
was
all
that
it
was
necessary
to
say
on
the
subject
of
my
health
;
the
disaster
of
my
re-opened
wound
having
been
,
for
obvious
reasons
,
concealed
from
my
mother’s
knowledge
.
Miss
Dunross
silently
wrote
the
opening
lines
of
the
letter
,
and
waited
for
the
words
that
were
to
follow
.
In
my
next
sentence
,
I
announced
the
date
at
which
the
vessel
was
to
sail
on
the
return
voyage
;
and
I
mentioned
the
period
at
which
my
mother
might
expect
to
see
me
,
weather
permitting
.
Those
words
,
also
,
Miss
Dunross
wrote
—
and
waited
again
.
I
set
myself
to
consider
what
I
should
say
next
.
To
my
surprise
and
alarm
,
I
found
it
impossible
to
fix
my
mind
on
the
subject
.
My
thoughts
wandered
away
,
in
the
strangest
manner
,
from
my
letter
to
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
.
I
was
ashamed
of
myself
;
I
was
angry
with
myself
—
I
resolved
,
no
matter
what
I
said
,
that
I
would
positively
finish
the
letter
.
No
!
try
as
I
might
,
the
utmost
effort
of
my
will
availed
me
nothing
.
Mrs.
Van
Brandt’s
words
at
our
last
interview
were
murmuring
in
my
ears
—
not
a
word
of
my
own
would
come
to
me
!
Miss
Dunross
laid
down
her
pen
,
and
slowly
turned
her
head
to
look
at
me
.
“
Surely
you
have
something
more
to
add
to
your
letter
?
”
she
said
.
“
Certainly
,
”
I
answered
.
“
I
don’t
know
what
is
the
matter
with
me
.
The
effort
of
dictating
seems
to
be
beyond
my
power
this
evening
.
”
“
Can
I
help
you
?
”
she
asked
.
I
gladly
accepted
the
suggestion
.
“
There
are
many
things
,
”
I
said
,
“
which
my
mother
would
be
glad
to
hear
,
if
I
were
not
too
stupid
to
think
of
them
.
I
am
sure
I
may
trust
your
sympathy
to
think
of
them
for
me
.
”
That
rash
answer
offered
Miss
Dunross
the
opportunity
of
returning
to
the
subject
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
.
She
seized
the
opportunity
with
a
woman’s
persistent
resolution
when
she
has
her
end
in
view
,
and
is
determined
to
reach
it
at
all
hazards
.
“
You
have
not
told
your
mother
yet
,
”
she
said
,
“
that
your
infatuation
for
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
is
at
an
end
.
Will
you
put
it
in
your
own
words
?
Or
shall
I
write
it
for
you
,
imitating
your
language
as
well
as
I
can
?
”
In
the
state
of
my
mind
at
that
moment
,
her
perseverance
conquered
me
.
I
thought
to
myself
indolently
,
“
If
I
say
No
,
she
will
only
return
to
the
subject
again
,
and
she
will
end
(
after
all
I
owe
to
her
kindness
)
in
making
me
say
Yes
.
”
Before
I
could
answer
her
she
had
realized
my
anticipations
.
She
returned
to
the
subject
;
and
she
made
me
say
Yes
.
“
What
does
your
silence
mean
?
”
she
said
.
“
Do
you
ask
me
to
help
you
,
and
do
you
refuse
to
accept
the
first
suggestion
I
offer
?
”
“
Take
up
your
pen
,
”
I
rejoined
.
“
It
shall
be
as
you
wish
.
”
“
Will
you
dictate
the
words
?
”
“
I
will
try
.
”
I
tried
;
and
this
time
I
succeeded
.
With
the
image
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
vividly
present
to
my
mind
,
I
arranged
the
first
words
of
the
sentence
which
was
to
tell
my
mother
that
my
“
infatuation
”
was
at
an
end
!
“
You
will
be
glad
to
hear
,
”
I
began
,
“
that
time
and
change
are
doing
their
good
work
.
”
Miss
Dunross
wrote
the
words
,
and
paused
in
anticipation
of
the
next
sentence
.
The
light
faded
and
faded
;
the
room
grew
darker
and
darker
.
I
went
on
.
“
I
hope
I
shall
cause
you
no
more
anxiety
,
my
dear
mother
,
on
the
subject
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
.
”
In
the
deep
silence
I
could
hear
the
pen
of
my
secretary
traveling
steadily
over
the
paper
while
it
wrote
those
words
.
“
Have
you
written
?
”
I
asked
,
as
the
sound
of
the
pen
ceased
.
“
I
have
written
,
”
she
answered
,
in
her
customary
quiet
tones
.
I
went
on
again
with
my
letter
.
“
The
days
pass
now
,
and
I
seldom
or
never
think
of
her
;
I
hope
I
am
resigned
at
last
to
the
loss
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
.
”
As
I
reached
the
end
of
the
sentence
,
I
heard
a
faint
cry
from
Miss
Dunross
.
Looking
instantly
toward
her
,
I
could
just
see
,
in
the
deepening
darkness
,
t
hat
her
head
had
fallen
on
the
back
of
the
chair
.
My
first
impulse
was
,
of
course
,
to
rise
and
go
to
her
.
I
had
barely
got
to
my
feet
,
when
some
indescribable
dread
paralyzed
me
on
the
instant
.
Supporting
myself
against
the
chimney-piece
,
I
stood
perfectly
incapable
of
advancing
a
step
.
The
effort
to
speak
was
the
one
effort
that
I
could
make
.
“
Are
you
ill
?
”
I
asked
.
She
was
hardly
able
to
answer
me
;
speaking
in
a
whisper
,
without
raising
her
head
.
“
I
am
frightened
,
”
she
said
.
“
What
has
frightened
you
?
”
I
heard
her
shudder
in
the
darkness
.
Instead
of
answering
me
,
she
whispered
to
herself
:
“
What
am
I
to
say
to
him
?
”
“
Tell
me
what
has
frightened
you
?
”
I
repeated
.
“
You
know
you
may
trust
me
with
the
truth
.
”
She
rallied
her
sinking
strength
.
She
answered
in
these
strange
words
:
“
Something
has
come
between
me
and
the
letter
that
I
am
writing
for
you
.
”
“
What
is
it
?
”
“
I
can’t
tell
you
.
”
“
Can
you
see
it
?
”
“
No.
”
“
Can
you
feel
it
?
”
“
Yes
!
”
“
What
is
it
like
?
”
“
Like
a
breath
of
cold
air
between
me
and
the
letter
.
”
“
Has
the
window
come
open
?
”
“
The
window
is
close
shut
.
”
“
And
the
door
?
”
“
The
door
is
shut
also
—
as
well
as
I
can
see
.
Make
sure
of
it
for
yourself
.
Where
are
you
?
What
are
you
doing
?
”
I
was
looking
toward
the
window
.
As
she
spoke
her
last
words
,
I
was
conscious
of
a
change
in
that
part
of
the
room
.
In
the
gap
between
the
parted
curtains
there
was
a
new
light
shining
;
not
the
dim
gray
twilight
of
Nature
,
but
a
pure
and
starry
radiance
,
a
pale
,
unearthly
light
.
While
I
watched
it
,
the
starry
radiance
quivered
as
if
some
breath
of
air
had
stirred
it
.
When
it
was
still
again
,
there
dawned
on
me
through
the
unearthly
luster
the
figure
of
a
woman
.
By
fine
and
slow
gradations
,
it
became
more
and
more
distinct
.
I
knew
the
noble
figure
;
I
knew
the
sad
and
tender
smile
.
For
the
second
time
I
stood
in
the
presence
of
the
apparition
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
.
She
was
robed
,
not
as
I
had
last
seen
her
,
but
in
the
dress
which
she
had
worn
on
the
memorable
evening
when
we
met
on
the
bridge
—
in
the
dress
in
which
she
had
first
appeared
to
me
,
by
the
waterfall
in
Scotland
.
The
starry
light
shone
round
her
like
a
halo
.
She
looked
at
me
with
sorrowful
and
pleading
eyes
,
as
she
had
looked
when
I
saw
the
apparition
of
her
in
the
summer-house
.
She
lifted
her
hand
—
not
beckoning
me
to
approach
her
,
as
before
,
but
gently
signing
to
me
to
remain
where
I
stood
.
I
waited
—
feeling
awe
,
but
no
fear
.
My
heart
was
all
hers
as
I
looked
at
her
.
She
moved
;
gliding
from
the
window
to
the
chair
in
which
Miss
Dunross
sat
;
winding
her
way
slowly
round
it
,
until
she
stood
at
the
back
.
By
the
light
of
the
pale
halo
that
encircled
the
ghostly
Presence
,
and
moved
with
it
,
I
could
see
the
dark
figure
of
the
living
woman
seated
immovable
in
the
chair
.
The
writing-case
was
on
her
lap
,
with
the
letter
and
the
pen
lying
on
it
.
Her
arms
hung
helpless
at
her
sides
;
her
veiled
head
was
now
bent
forward
.
She
looked
as
if
she
had
been
struck
to
stone
in
the
act
of
trying
to
rise
from
her
seat
.
A
moment
passed
—
and
I
saw
the
ghostly
Presence
stoop
over
the
living
woman
.
It
lifted
the
writing-case
from
her
lap
.
It
rested
the
writing-case
on
her
shoulder
.
Its
white
fingers
took
the
pen
and
wrote
on
the
unfinished
letter
.
It
put
the
writing-case
back
on
the
lap
of
the
living
woman
.
Still
standing
behind
the
chair
,
it
turned
toward
me
.
It
looked
at
me
once
more
.
And
now
it
beckoned
—
beckoned
to
me
to
approach
.
Moving
without
conscious
will
of
my
own
,
as
I
had
moved
when
I
first
saw
her
in
the
summer-house
—
drawn
nearer
and
nearer
by
an
irresistible
power
—
I
approached
and
stopped
within
a
few
paces
of
her
.
She
advanced
and
laid
her
hand
on
my
bosom
.
Again
I
felt
those
strangely
mingled
sensations
of
rapture
and
awe
,
which
had
once
before
filled
me
when
I
was
conscious
,
spiritually
,
of
her
touch
.
Again
she
spoke
,
in
the
low
,
melodious
tones
which
I
recalled
so
well
.
Again
she
said
the
words
:
“
Remember
me
.
Come
to
me
.
”
Her
hand
dropped
from
my
bosom
.
The
pale
light
in
which
she
stood
quivered
,
sunk
,
vanished
.
I
saw
the
twilight
glimmering
between
the
curtains
—
and
I
saw
no
more
.
She
had
spoken
.
She
had
gone
.
I
was
near
Miss
Dunross
—
near
enough
,
when
I
put
out
my
hand
,
to
touch
her
.
She
started
and
shuddered
,
like
a
woman
suddenly
awakened
from
a
dreadful
dream
.
“
Speak
to
me
!
”
she
whispered
.
“
Let
me
know
that
it
is
you
who
touched
me
.
”
I
spoke
a
few
composing
words
before
I
questioned
her
.
“
Have
you
seen
anything
in
the
room
?
”
She
answered
.
“
I
have
been
filled
with
a
deadly
fear
.
I
have
seen
nothing
but
the
writing-case
lifted
from
my
lap
.
”
“
Did
you
see
the
hand
that
lifted
it
?
”
“
No.
”
“
Did
you
see
a
starry
light
,
and
a
figure
standing
in
it
?
”
“
No.
”
“
Did
you
see
the
writing-case
after
it
was
lifted
from
your
lap
?
”
“
I
saw
it
resting
on
my
shoulder
.
”
“
Did
you
see
writing
on
the
letter
,
which
was
not
your
writing
?
”
“
I
saw
a
darker
shadow
on
the
paper
than
the
shadow
in
which
I
am
sitting
.
”
“
Did
it
move
?
”
“
It
moved
across
the
paper
.
”
“
As
a
pen
moves
in
writing
?
”
“
Yes
.
As
a
pen
moves
in
writing
.
”
“
May
I
take
the
letter
?
”
She
handed
it
to
me
.
“
May
I
light
a
candle
?
”
She
drew
her
veil
more
closely
over
her
face
,
and
bowed
in
silence
.
I
lighted
the
candle
on
the
mantel-piece
,
and
looked
for
the
writing
.
There
,
on
the
blank
space
in
the
letter
,
as
I
had
seen
it
before
on
the
blank
space
in
the
sketch-book
—
there
were
the
written
words
which
the
ghostly
Presence
had
left
behind
it
;
arranged
once
more
in
two
lines
,
as
I
copy
them
here
:
At
the
month’s
end
,
In
the
shadow
of
Saint
Paul’s
.
CHAPTER
XXIII
.
THE
KISS
.
SHE
had
need
of
me
again
.
She
had
claimed
me
again
.
I
felt
all
the
old
love
,
all
the
old
devotion
owning
her
power
once
more
.
Whatever
had
mortified
or
angered
me
at
our
last
interview
was
forgiven
and
forgotten
now
.
My
whole
being
still
thrilled
with
the
mingled
awe
and
rapture
of
beholding
the
Vision
of
her
that
had
come
to
me
for
the
second
time
.
The
minutes
passed
—
and
I
stood
by
the
fire
like
a
man
entranced
;
thinking
only
of
her
spoken
words
,
“
Remember
me
.
Come
to
me
;
”
looking
only
at
her
mystic
writing
,
“
At
the
month’s
end
,
In
the
shadow
of
Saint
Paul’s
.
”
The
month’s
end
was
still
far
off
;
the
apparition
of
her
had
shown
itself
to
me
,
under
some
subtle
prevision
of
trouble
that
was
still
in
the
future
.
Ample
time
was
before
me
for
the
pilgrimage
to
which
I
was
self-dedicated
already
—
my
pilgrimage
to
the
shadow
of
Saint
Paul’s
.
Other
men
,
in
my
position
,
might
have
hesitated
as
to
the
right
understanding
of
the
place
to
which
they
were
bidden
.
Other
men
might
have
wearied
their
memories
by
recalling
the
churches
,
the
institutions
,
the
streets
,
the
towns
in
foreign
countries
,
all
consecrated
to
Christian
reverence
by
the
great
apostle’s
name
,
and
might
have
fruitlessly
asked
themselves
in
which
direction
they
were
first
to
turn
their
steps
.
No
such
difficulty
troubled
me
.
My
first
conclusion
was
the
one
conclusion
that
was
acceptable
to
my
mind
.
“
Saint
Paul’s
”
meant
the
famous
Cathedral
of
London
.
Where
the
shadow
of
the
great
church
fell
,
there
,
at
the
month’s
end
,
I
should
find
her
,
or
the
trace
of
her
.
In
London
once
more
,
and
nowhere
else
,
I
was
destined
to
see
the
woman
I
loved
,
in
the
living
body
,
as
certainly
as
I
had
just
seen
her
in
the
ghostly
presence
.
Who
could
interpret
the
mysterious
sympathies
that
still
united
us
,
in
defiance
of
distance
,
in
defiance
of
time
?
Who
could
predict
to
what
end
our
lives
were
tending
in
the
years
that
were
to
come
?
Those
questions
were
still
present
to
my
thoughts
;
my
eyes
were
still
fixed
on
the
mysterious
writing
—
when
I
became
instinctively
aware
of
the
strange
silence
in
the
room
.
Instantly
the
lost
remembrance
of
Miss
Dunross
came
back
to
me
.
Stung
by
my
own
sense
of
self-reproach
,
I
turned
with
a
start
,
and
looked
toward
her
chair
by
the
window
.
The
chair
was
empty
.
I
was
alone
in
the
room
.
Why
had
she
left
me
secretly
,
without
a
word
of
farewell
?
Because
she
was
suffering
,
in
mind
or
body
?
Or
because
she
resented
,
naturally
resented
,
my
neglect
of
her
?
The
bare
suspicion
that
I
had
given
her
pain
was
intolerable
to
me
.
I
rang
my
bell
,
to
make
inquiries
.
The
bell
was
answered
,
not
,
as
usual
,
by
the
silent
servant
Peter
,
but
by
a
woman
of
middle
age
,
very
quietly
and
neatly
dressed
,
whom
I
had
once
or
twice
met
on
the
way
to
and
from
my
room
,
and
of
whose
exact
position
in
the
house
I
was
still
ignorant
.
“
Do
you
wish
to
see
Peter
?
”
she
asked
.
“
No.
I
wish
to
know
where
Miss
Dunross
is
.
”
“
Miss
Dunross
is
in
her
room
.
She
has
sent
me
with
this
letter
.
”
I
took
the
letter
,
feeling
some
surprise
and
uneasiness
.
It
was
the
first
time
Miss
Dunross
had
communicated
with
me
in
that
formal
way
.
I
tried
to
gain
further
information
by
questioning
her
messenger
.
“
Are
you
Miss
Dunross’s
maid
?
”
I
asked
.
“
I
have
served
Miss
Dunross
for
many
years
,
”
was
the
answer
,
spoken
very
ungraciously
.
“
Do
you
think
she
would
receive
me
if
I
sent
you
with
a
message
to
her
?
”
“
I
can’t
say
,
sir
.
The
letter
may
tell
you
.
You
will
do
well
to
read
the
letter
.
”
We
looked
at
each
other
.
The
woman’s
preconceived
impression
of
me
was
evidently
an
unfavorable
one
.
Had
I
indeed
pained
or
offended
Miss
Dunross
?
And
had
the
servant
—
perhaps
the
faithful
servant
who
loved
her
—
discovered
and
resented
it
?
The
woman
frowned
as
she
looked
at
me
.
It
would
be
a
mere
waste
of
words
to
persist
in
questioning
her
.
I
let
her
go
.
Left
by
myself
again
,
I
read
the
letter
.
It
began
,
without
any
form
of
address
,
in
these
lines
:
“
I
write
,
instead
of
speaking
to
you
,
because
my
self-control
has
already
been
severely
tried
,
and
I
am
not
strong
enough
to
bear
more
.
For
my
father’s
sake
—
not
for
my
own
—
I
must
take
all
the
care
I
can
of
the
little
health
that
I
have
left
.
“
Putting
together
what
you
have
told
me
of
the
visionary
creature
whom
you
saw
in
the
summer-house
in
Scotland
,
and
what
you
said
when
you
questioned
me
in
your
room
a
little
while
since
,
I
cannot
fail
to
infer
that
the
same
vision
has
shown
itself
to
you
,
for
the
second
time
.
The
fear
that
I
felt
,
the
strange
things
that
I
saw
(
or
thought
I
saw
)
,
may
have
been
imperfect
reflections
in
my
mind
of
what
was
passing
in
yours
.
I
do
not
stop
to
inquire
whether
we
are
both
the
victims
of
a
delusion
,
or
whether
we
are
the
chosen
recipients
of
a
supernatural
communication
.
The
result
,
in
either
case
,
is
enough
for
me
.
You
are
once
more
under
the
influence
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
.
I
will
not
trust
myself
to
tell
you
of
the
anxieties
and
forebodings
by
which
I
am
oppressed
:
I
will
only
acknowledge
that
my
one
hope
for
you
is
in
your
speedy
reunion
with
the
worthier
object
of
your
constancy
and
devotion
.
I
still
believe
,
and
I
am
consoled
in
believing
,
that
you
and
your
first
love
will
meet
again
.
“
Having
written
so
far
,
I
leave
the
subject
—
not
to
return
to
it
,
except
in
my
own
thoughts
.
“
The
necessary
preparations
for
your
departure
to-morrow
are
all
made
.
Nothing
remains
but
to
wish
you
a
safe
and
pleasant
journey
home
.
Do
not
,
I
entreat
you
,
think
me
insensible
of
what
I
owe
to
you
,
if
I
say
my
farewell
words
here
.
“
The
little
services
which
you
have
allowed
me
to
render
you
have
brightened
the
closing
days
of
my
life
.
You
have
left
me
a
treasury
of
happy
memories
which
I
shall
hoard
,
when
you
are
gone
,
with
miserly
care
.
Are
you
willing
to
add
new
claims
to
my
grateful
remembrance
?
I
ask
it
of
you
,
as
a
last
favor
—
do
not
attempt
to
see
me
again
!
Do
not
expect
me
to
take
a
personal
leave
of
you
!
The
saddest
of
all
words
is
‘Good-by’
:
I
have
fortitude
enough
to
write
it
,
and
no
more
.
God
preserve
and
prosper
you
—
farewell
!
“
One
more
request
.
I
beg
that
you
will
not
forget
what
you
promised
me
,
when
I
told
you
my
foolish
fancy
about
the
green
flag
.
Wherever
you
go
,
let
Mary’s
keepsake
go
with
you
.
No
written
answer
is
necessary
—
I
would
rather
not
receive
it
.
Look
up
,
when
you
leave
the
house
to-morrow
,
at
the
center
window
over
the
doorway
—
that
will
be
answer
enough
.
”
To
say
that
these
melancholy
lines
brought
the
tears
into
my
eyes
is
only
to
acknowledge
that
I
had
sympathies
which
could
be
touched
.
When
I
had
in
some
degree
recovered
my
composure
,
the
impulse
which
urged
me
to
write
to
Miss
Dunross
was
too
strong
to
be
resisted
.
I
did
not
trouble
her
with
a
long
letter
;
I
only
entreated
her
to
reconsider
her
decision
with
all
the
art
of
persuasion
which
I
could
summon
to
help
me
.
The
answer
was
brought
back
by
the
servant
who
waited
on
Miss
Dunross
,
in
four
resolute
words
:
“
It
can
not
be
.
”
This
time
the
woman
spoke
out
before
she
left
me
.
“
If
you
have
any
regard
for
my
mistress
,
”
she
said
sternly
,
“
don’t
make
her
write
to
you
again
.
”
She
looked
at
me
with
a
last
lowering
frown
,
and
left
the
room
.
It
is
needless
to
say
that
the
faithful
servant’s
words
only
increased
my
anxiety
to
see
Miss
Dunross
once
more
before
we
parted
—
perhaps
forever
.
My
one
last
hope
of
success
in
attaining
this
object
lay
in
approaching
her
indirectly
through
the
intercession
of
her
father
.
I
sent
Peter
to
inquire
if
I
might
be
permitted
to
pay
my
respects
to
his
master
that
evening
.
My
messenger
returned
with
an
answer
that
was
a
new
disappointment
to
me
.
Mr.
Dunross
begged
that
I
would
excuse
him
,
if
he
deferred
the
proposed
interview
until
the
next
morning
.
The
next
morning
was
the
morning
of
my
departure
.
Did
the
message
mean
that
he
had
no
wish
to
see
me
again
until
the
time
had
come
to
take
leave
of
him
?
I
inquired
of
Peter
whether
his
master
was
particularly
occupied
that
evening
.
He
was
unable
to
tell
me
.
“
The
Master
of
Books
”
was
not
in
his
study
,
as
usual
.
When
he
sent
his
message
to
me
,
he
was
sitting
by
the
sofa
in
his
daughter’s
room
.
Having
answered
in
those
terms
,
the
man
left
me
by
myself
until
the
next
morning
.
I
do
not
wish
my
bitterest
enemy
a
sadder
time
in
his
life
than
the
time
I
passed
during
the
last
night
of
my
residence
under
Mr.
Dunross’s
roof
.
After
walking
to
and
fro
in
the
room
until
I
was
weary
,
I
thought
of
trying
to
divert
my
mind
from
the
sad
thoughts
that
oppressed
it
by
reading
.
The
one
candle
which
I
had
lighted
failed
to
sufficiently
illuminate
the
room
.
Advancing
to
the
mantel-piece
to
light
the
second
candle
which
stood
there
,
I
noticed
the
unfinished
letter
to
my
mother
lying
where
I
had
placed
it
,
when
Miss
Dunross’s
servant
first
presented
herself
before
me
.
Having
lighted
the
second
candle
,
I
took
up
the
letter
to
put
it
away
among
my
other
papers
.
Doing
this
(
while
my
thoughts
were
still
dwelling
on
Miss
Dunross
)
,
I
mechanically
looked
at
the
letter
again
—
and
instantly
discovered
a
change
in
it
.
The
written
characters
traced
by
the
hand
of
the
apparition
had
vanished
!
Below
the
last
lines
written
by
Miss
Dunross
nothing
met
my
eyes
now
but
the
blank
white
paper
!
My
first
impulse
was
to
look
at
my
watch
.
When
the
ghostly
presence
had
written
in
my
sketch-book
,
the
characters
had
disappeared
after
an
interval
of
three
hours
.
On
this
occasion
,
as
nearly
as
I
could
calculate
,
the
writing
had
vanished
in
one
hour
only
.
Reverting
to
the
conversation
which
I
had
held
with
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
when
we
met
at
Saint
Anthony’s
Well
,
and
to
the
discoveries
which
followed
at
a
later
period
of
my
life
,
I
can
only
repeat
that
she
had
again
been
the
subject
of
a
trance
or
dream
,
when
the
apparition
of
her
showed
itself
to
me
for
the
second
time
.
As
before
,
she
had
freely
trusted
me
and
freely
appealed
to
me
to
help
her
,
in
the
dreaming
state
,
when
her
spirit
was
free
to
recognize
my
spirit
.
When
she
had
come
to
herself
,
after
an
interval
of
an
hour
,
she
had
again
felt
ashamed
of
the
familiar
manner
in
which
she
had
communicated
with
me
in
the
trance
—
had
again
unconsciously
counteracted
by
her
waking-will
the
influence
of
her
sleeping-will
;
and
had
thus
caused
the
writing
once
more
to
disappear
,
in
an
hour
from
the
moment
when
the
pen
had
traced
(
or
seemed
to
trace
)
it
.
This
is
still
the
one
explanation
that
I
can
offer
.
At
the
time
when
the
incident
happened
,
I
was
far
from
being
fully
admitted
to
the
confidence
of
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
;
and
I
was
necessarily
incapable
of
arriving
at
any
solution
of
the
mystery
,
right
or
wrong
.
I
could
only
put
away
the
letter
,
doubting
vaguely
whether
my
own
senses
had
not
deceived
me
.
After
the
distressing
thoughts
which
Miss
Dunross’s
letter
had
roused
in
my
mind
,
I
was
in
no
humor
to
employ
my
ingenuity
in
finding
a
clew
to
the
mystery
of
the
vanished
writing
.
My
nerves
were
irritated
;
I
felt
a
sense
of
angry
discontent
with
myself
and
with
others
.
“
Go
where
I
may
”
(
I
thought
impatiently
)
,
“
the
disturbing
influence
of
women
seems
to
be
the
only
influence
that
I
am
fated
to
feel
.
”
As
I
still
paced
backward
and
forward
in
my
room
—
it
was
useless
to
think
now
of
fixing
my
attention
on
a
book
—
I
fancied
I
understood
the
motives
which
made
men
as
young
as
I
was
retire
to
end
their
lives
in
a
monastery
.
I
drew
aside
the
window
curtains
,
and
looked
out
.
The
only
prospect
that
met
my
view
was
the
black
gulf
of
darkness
in
which
the
lake
lay
hidden
.
I
could
see
nothing
;
I
could
do
nothing
;
I
could
think
of
nothing
.
The
one
alternative
before
me
was
that
of
trying
to
sleep
.
My
medical
knowledge
told
me
plainly
that
natural
sleep
was
,
in
my
nervous
condition
,
one
of
the
unattainable
luxuries
of
life
for
that
night
.
The
medicine-chest
which
Mr.
Dunross
had
placed
at
my
disposal
remained
in
the
room
.
I
mixed
for
myself
a
strong
sleeping
draught
,
and
sullenly
took
refuge
from
my
troubles
in
bed
.
It
is
a
peculiarity
of
most
of
the
soporific
drugs
that
they
not
only
act
in
a
totally
different
manner
on
different
constitutions
,
but
that
they
are
not
even
to
be
depended
on
to
act
always
in
the
same
manner
on
the
same
person
.
I
had
taken
care
to
extinguish
the
candles
before
I
got
into
my
bed
.
Under
ordinary
circumstances
,
after
I
had
lain
quietly
in
the
darkness
for
half
an
hour
,
the
draught
that
I
had
taken
would
have
sent
me
to
sleep
.
In
the
present
state
of
my
nerves
the
draught
stupefied
me
,
and
did
no
more
.
Hour
after
hour
I
lay
perfectly
still
,
with
my
eyes
closed
,
in
the
semi-sleeping
,
semi-wakeful
state
which
is
so
curiously
characteristic
of
the
ordinary
repose
of
a
dog
.
As
the
night
wore
on
,
such
a
sense
of
heaviness
oppressed
my
eyelids
that
it
was
literally
impossible
for
me
to
open
them
—
such
a
masterful
languor
possessed
all
my
muscles
that
I
could
no
more
move
on
my
pillow
than
if
I
had
been
a
corpse
.
And
yet
,
in
this
somnolent
condition
,
my
mind
was
able
to
pursue
lazy
trains
of
pleasant
thought
.
My
sense
of
hearing
was
so
acute
that
it
caught
the
faintest
sounds
made
by
the
passage
of
the
night-breeze
through
the
rushes
of
the
lake
.
Inside
my
bed-chamber
,
I
was
even
more
keenly
sensible
of
those
weird
night-noises
in
the
heavy
furniture
of
a
room
,
of
those
sudden
settlements
of
extinct
coals
in
the
grate
,
so
familiar
to
bad
sleepers
,
so
startling
to
overwrought
nerves
!
It
is
not
a
scientifically
correct
statement
,
but
it
exactly
describes
my
condition
,
that
night
,
to
say
that
one
half
of
me
was
asleep
and
the
other
half
awake
.
How
many
hours
of
the
night
had
passed
,
when
my
irritable
sense
of
hearing
became
aware
of
a
new
sound
in
the
room
,
I
cannot
tell
.
I
can
only
relate
that
I
found
myself
on
a
sudden
listening
intently
,
with
fast-closed
eyes
.
The
sound
that
disturbed
me
was
the
faintest
sound
imaginable
,
as
of
something
soft
and
light
traveling
slowly
over
the
surface
of
the
carpet
,
and
brushing
it
just
loud
enough
to
be
heard
.
Little
by
little
,
the
sound
came
nearer
and
nearer
to
my
bed
—
and
then
suddenly
stopped
just
as
I
fancied
it
was
close
by
me
.
I
still
lay
immovable
,
with
closed
eyes
;
drowsily
waiting
for
the
next
sound
that
might
reach
my
ears
;
drowsily
content
with
the
silence
,
if
the
silence
continued
.
My
thoughts
(
if
thoughts
they
could
be
called
)
were
drifting
back
again
into
their
former
course
,
when
I
became
suddenly
conscious
of
soft
breathing
just
above
me
.
The
next
moment
I
felt
a
touch
on
my
forehead
—
light
,
soft
,
tremulous
,
like
the
touch
of
lips
that
had
kissed
me
.
There
was
a
momentary
pause
.
Then
a
low
sigh
trembled
through
the
silence
.
Then
I
heard
again
the
still
,
small
sound
of
something
brushing
its
way
over
the
carpet
;
traveling
this
time
from
my
bed
,
and
moving
so
rapidly
that
in
a
moment
more
it
was
lost
in
the
silence
of
the
night
.
Still
stupefied
by
the
drug
that
I
had
taken
,
I
could
lazily
wonder
what
had
happened
,
and
I
could
do
no
more
.
Had
living
lips
really
touched
me
?
Was
the
sound
that
I
had
heard
really
the
sound
of
a
sigh
?
Or
was
it
all
delusion
,
beginning
and
ending
in
a
dream
?
The
time
passed
without
my
deciding
,
or
caring
to
decide
,
those
questions
.
Minute
by
minute
,
the
composing
influence
of
the
draught
began
at
last
to
strengthen
its
hold
on
my
brain
.
A
cloud
seemed
to
pass
softly
over
my
last
waking
impressions
.
One
after
another
,
the
ties
broke
gently
that
held
me
to
conscious
life
.
I
drifted
peacefully
into
perfect
sleep
.
Shortly
after
sunrise
,
I
awoke
.
When
I
regained
the
use
of
my
memory
,
my
first
clear
recollection
was
the
recollection
of
the
soft
breathing
which
I
had
felt
above
me
—
then
of
the
touch
on
my
forehead
,
and
of
the
sigh
which
I
had
heard
after
it
.
Was
it
possible
that
some
one
had
entered
my
room
in
the
night
?
It
was
quite
possible
.
I
had
not
locked
the
door
—
I
had
never
been
in
the
habit
of
locking
the
door
during
my
residence
under
Mr.
Dunross’s
roof
.
After
thinking
it
over
a
little
,
I
rose
to
examine
my
room
.
Nothing
in
the
shape
of
a
discovery
rewarded
me
,
until
I
reached
the
door
.
Though
I
had
not
locked
it
overnight
,
I
had
certainly
satisfied
myself
that
it
was
closed
before
I
went
to
bed
.
It
was
now
ajar
.
Had
it
opened
again
,
through
being
imperfectly
shut
?
or
had
a
person
,
after
entering
and
leaving
my
room
,
forgotten
to
close
it
?
Accidentally
looking
downward
while
I
was
weighing
these
probabilities
,
I
noticed
a
small
black
object
on
the
carpet
,
lying
just
under
the
key
,
on
the
inner
side
of
the
door
.
I
picked
the
thing
up
,
and
found
that
it
was
a
torn
morsel
of
black
lace
.
The
instant
I
saw
the
fragment
,
I
was
reminded
of
the
long
black
veil
,
hanging
below
her
waist
,
which
it
was
the
habit
of
Miss
Dunross
to
wear
.
Was
it
her
dress
,
then
,
that
I
had
heard
softly
traveling
over
the
carpet
;
her
kiss
that
had
touched
my
forehead
;
her
sigh
that
had
trembled
through
the
silence
?
Had
the
ill-fated
and
noble
creature
taken
her
last
leave
of
me
in
the
dead
of
night
,
trusting
the
preservation
of
her
secret
to
the
deceitful
appearances
which
persuaded
her
that
I
was
asleep
?
I
looked
again
at
the
fragment
of
black
lace
.
Her
long
veil
might
easily
have
been
caught
,
and
torn
,
by
the
projecting
key
,
as
she
passed
rapidly
through
the
door
on
her
way
out
of
my
room
.
Sadly
and
reverently
I
laid
the
morsel
of
lace
among
the
treasured
memorials
which
I
had
brought
with
me
from
home
.
To
the
end
of
her
life
,
I
vowed
it
,
she
should
be
left
undisturbed
in
the
belief
that
her
secret
was
safe
in
her
own
breast
!
Ardently
as
I
still
longed
to
take
her
hand
at
parting
,
I
now
resolved
to
make
no
further
effort
to
see
her
.
I
might
not
be
master
of
my
own
emotions
;
something
in
my
face
or
in
my
manner
might
betray
me
to
her
quick
and
delicate
perception
.
Knowing
what
I
now
knew
,
the
last
sacrifice
I
could
make
to
her
would
be
to
obey
her
wishes
.
I
made
the
sacrifice
.
In
an
hour
more
Peter
informed
me
that
the
ponies
were
at
the
door
,
and
that
the
Master
was
waiting
for
me
in
the
outer
hall
.
I
noticed
that
Mr.
Dunross
gave
me
his
hand
,
without
looking
at
me
.
His
faded
blue
eyes
,
during
the
few
minutes
while
we
were
together
,
were
not
once
raised
from
the
ground
.
“
God
speed
you
on
your
journey
,
sir
,
and
guide
you
safely
home
,
”
he
said
.
“
I
beg
you
to
forgive
me
if
I
fail
to
accompany
you
on
the
first
few
miles
of
your
journey
.
There
are
reasons
which
oblige
me
to
remain
with
my
daughter
in
the
house
.
”
He
was
scrupulously
,
almost
painfully
,
courteous
;
but
there
was
something
in
his
manner
which
,
for
the
first
time
in
my
experience
,
seemed
designedly
to
keep
me
at
a
distance
from
him
.
Knowing
the
intimate
sympathy
,
the
perfect
confidence
,
which
existed
between
the
father
and
daughter
,
a
doubt
crossed
my
mind
whether
the
secret
of
the
past
night
was
entirely
a
secret
to
Mr.
Dunross
.
His
next
words
set
that
doubt
at
rest
,
and
showed
me
the
truth
.
In
thanking
him
for
his
good
wishes
,
I
attempted
also
to
express
to
him
(
and
through
him
to
Miss
Dunross
)
my
sincere
sense
of
gratitude
for
the
kindness
which
I
had
received
under
his
roof
.
He
stopped
me
,
politely
and
resolutely
,
speaking
with
that
quaintly
precise
choice
of
language
which
I
h
ad
remarked
as
characteristic
of
him
at
our
first
interview
.
“
It
is
in
your
power
,
sir
,
”
he
said
,
“
to
return
any
obligation
which
you
may
think
you
have
incurred
on
leaving
my
house
.
If
you
will
be
pleased
to
consider
your
residence
here
as
an
unimportant
episode
in
your
life
,
which
ends
—
absolutely
ends
—
with
your
departure
,
you
will
more
than
repay
any
kindness
that
you
may
have
received
as
my
guest
.
In
saying
this
,
I
speak
under
a
sense
of
duty
which
does
entire
justice
to
you
as
a
gentleman
and
a
man
of
honor
.
In
return
,
I
can
only
trust
to
you
not
to
misjudge
my
motives
,
if
I
abstain
from
explaining
myself
any
further
.
”
A
faint
color
flushed
his
pale
cheeks
.
He
waited
,
with
a
certain
proud
resignation
,
for
my
reply
.
I
respected
her
secret
,
respected
it
more
resolutely
than
ever
,
before
her
father
.
“
After
all
that
I
owe
to
you
,
sir
,
”
I
answered
,
“
your
wishes
are
my
commands
.
”
Saying
that
,
and
saying
no
more
,
I
bowed
to
him
with
marked
respect
,
and
left
the
house
.
Mounting
my
pony
at
the
door
,
I
looked
up
at
the
center
window
,
as
she
had
bidden
me
.
It
was
open
;
but
dark
curtains
,
jealously
closed
,
kept
out
the
light
from
the
room
within
.
At
the
sound
of
the
pony’s
hoofs
on
the
rough
island
road
,
as
the
animal
moved
,
the
curtains
were
parted
for
a
few
inches
only
.
Through
the
gap
in
the
dark
draperies
a
wan
white
hand
appeared
;
waved
tremulously
a
last
farewell
;
and
vanished
from
my
view
.
The
curtains
closed
again
on
her
dark
and
solitary
life
.
The
dreary
wind
sounded
its
long
,
low
dirge
over
the
rippling
waters
of
the
lake
.
The
ponies
took
their
places
in
the
ferryboat
which
was
kept
for
the
passage
of
animals
to
and
from
the
island
.
With
slow
,
regular
strokes
the
men
rowed
us
to
the
mainland
and
took
their
leave
.
I
looked
back
at
the
distant
house
.
I
thought
of
her
in
the
dark
room
,
waiting
patiently
for
death
.
Burning
tears
blinded
me
.
The
guide
took
my
bridle
in
his
hand
:
“
You’re
not
well
,
sir
,
”
he
said
;
“
I
will
lead
the
pony
.
”
When
I
looked
again
at
the
landscape
round
me
,
we
had
descended
in
the
interval
from
the
higher
ground
to
the
lower
.
The
house
and
the
lake
had
disappeared
,
to
be
seen
no
more
.
CHAPTER
XXIV
.
IN
THE
SHADOW
OF
ST.
PAUL’S
.
In
ten
days
I
was
at
home
again
—
and
my
mother’s
arms
were
round
me
.
I
had
left
her
for
my
sea-voyage
very
unwillingly
—
seeing
that
she
was
in
delicate
health
.
On
my
return
,
I
was
grieved
to
observe
a
change
for
the
worse
,
for
which
her
letters
had
not
prepared
me
.
Consulting
our
medical
friend
,
Mr.
MacGlue
,
I
found
that
he
,
too
,
had
noticed
my
mother’s
failing
health
,
but
that
he
attributed
it
to
an
easily
removable
cause
—
to
the
climate
of
Scotland
.
My
mother’s
childhood
and
early
life
had
been
passed
on
the
southern
shores
of
England
.
The
change
to
the
raw
,
keen
air
of
the
North
had
been
a
trying
change
to
a
person
at
her
age
.
In
Mr.
MacGlue’s
opinion
,
the
wise
course
to
take
would
be
to
return
to
the
South
before
the
autumn
was
further
advanced
,
and
to
make
our
arrangements
for
passing
the
coming
winter
at
Penzance
or
Torquay
.
Resolved
as
I
was
to
keep
the
mysterious
appointment
which
summoned
me
to
London
at
the
month’s
end
,
Mr.
MacGlue’s
suggestion
met
with
no
opposition
on
my
part
.
It
had
,
to
my
mind
,
the
great
merit
of
obviating
the
necessity
of
a
second
separation
from
my
mother
—
assuming
that
she
approved
of
the
doctor’s
advice
.
I
put
the
question
to
her
the
same
day
.
To
my
infinite
relief
,
she
was
not
only
ready
,
but
eager
to
take
the
journey
to
the
South
.
The
season
had
been
unusually
wet
,
even
for
Scotland
;
and
my
mother
reluctantly
confessed
that
she
“
did
feel
a
certain
longing
”
for
the
mild
air
and
genial
sunshine
of
the
Devonshire
coast
.
We
arranged
to
travel
in
our
own
comfortable
carriage
by
post
—
resting
,
of
course
,
at
inns
on
the
road
at
night
.
In
the
days
before
railways
it
was
no
easy
matter
for
an
invalid
to
travel
from
Perthshire
to
London
—
even
with
a
light
carriage
and
four
horses
.
Calculating
our
rate
of
progress
from
the
date
of
our
departure
,
I
found
that
we
had
just
time
,
and
no
more
,
to
reach
London
on
the
last
day
of
the
month
.
I
shall
say
nothing
of
the
secret
anxieties
which
weighed
on
my
mind
,
under
these
circumstances
.
Happily
for
me
,
on
every
account
,
my
mother’s
strength
held
out
.
The
easy
and
(
as
we
then
thought
)
the
rapid
rate
of
traveling
had
its
invigorating
effect
on
her
nerves
.
She
slept
better
when
we
rested
for
the
night
than
she
had
slept
at
home
.
After
twice
being
delayed
on
the
road
,
we
arrived
in
London
at
three
o’clock
on
the
afternoon
of
the
last
day
of
the
month
.
Had
I
reached
my
destination
in
time
?
As
I
interpreted
the
writing
of
the
apparition
,
I
had
still
some
hours
at
my
disposal
.
The
phrase
,
“
at
the
month’s
end
,
”
meant
,
as
I
understood
it
,
at
the
last
hour
of
the
last
day
in
the
month
.
If
I
took
up
my
position
“
under
the
shadow
of
Saint
Paul’s
,
”
say
,
at
ten
that
night
,
I
should
arrive
at
the
place
of
meeting
with
two
hours
to
spare
,
before
the
last
stroke
of
the
clock
marked
the
beginning
of
the
new
month
.
At
half-past
nine
,
I
left
my
mother
to
rest
after
her
long
journey
,
and
privately
quit
the
house
.
Before
ten
,
I
was
at
my
post
.
The
night
was
fine
and
clear
;
and
the
huge
shadow
of
the
cathedral
marked
distinctly
the
limits
within
which
I
had
been
bid
to
wait
,
on
the
watch
for
events
.
The
great
clock
of
Saint
Paul’s
struck
ten
—
and
nothing
happened
.
The
next
hour
passed
very
slowly
.
I
walked
up
and
down
;
at
one
time
absorbed
in
my
own
thoughts
;
at
another
,
engaged
in
watching
the
gradual
diminution
in
the
number
of
foot
passengers
who
passed
me
as
the
night
advanced
.
The
City
(
as
it
is
called
)
is
the
most
populous
part
of
London
in
the
daytime
;
but
at
night
,
when
it
ceases
to
be
the
center
of
commerce
,
its
busy
population
melts
away
,
and
the
empty
streets
assume
the
appearance
of
a
remote
and
deserted
quarter
of
the
metropolis
.
As
the
half
hour
after
ten
struck
—
then
the
quarter
to
eleven
—
then
the
hour
—
the
pavement
steadily
became
more
and
more
deserted
.
I
could
count
the
foot
passengers
now
by
twos
and
threes
;
and
I
could
see
the
places
of
public
refreshment
within
my
view
beginning
already
to
close
for
the
night
.
I
looked
at
the
clock
;
it
pointed
to
ten
minutes
past
eleven
.
At
that
hour
,
could
I
hope
to
meet
Mrs.
Van
Brandt
alone
in
the
public
street
?
The
more
I
thought
of
it
,
the
less
likely
such
an
event
seemed
to
be
.
The
more
reasonable
probability
was
that
I
might
meet
her
once
more
,
accompanied
by
some
friend
—
perhaps
under
the
escort
of
Van
Brandt
himself
.
I
wondered
whether
I
should
preserve
my
self-control
,
in
the
presence
of
that
man
,
for
the
second
time
.
While
my
thoughts
were
still
pursuing
this
direction
,
my
attention
was
recalled
to
passing
events
by
a
sad
little
voice
,
putting
a
strange
little
question
,
close
at
my
side
.
“
If
you
please
,
sir
,
do
you
know
where
I
can
find
a
chemist’s
shop
open
at
this
time
of
night
?
”
I
looked
round
,
and
discovered
a
poorly
clad
little
boy
,
with
a
basket
over
his
arm
,
and
a
morsel
of
paper
in
his
hand
.
“
The
chemists’
shops
are
all
shut
,
”
I
said
.
“
If
you
want
any
medicine
,
you
must
ring
the
night-bell
.
”
“
I
dursn’t
do
it
,
sir
,
”
replied
the
small
stranger
.
“
I
am
such
a
little
boy
,
I’m
afraid
of
their
beating
me
if
I
ring
them
up
out
of
their
beds
,
without
somebody
to
speak
for
me
.
”
The
little
creature
looked
at
me
under
the
street
lamp
with
such
a
forlorn
experience
of
being
beaten
for
trifling
offenses
in
his
face
,
that
it
was
impossible
to
resist
the
impulse
to
help
him
.
“
Is
it
a
serious
case
of
illness
?
”
I
asked
.
“
I
don’t
know
,
sir
.
”
“
Have
you
got
a
doctor’s
prescription
?
”
He
held
out
his
morsel
of
paper
.
“
I
have
got
this
,
”
he
said
.
I
took
the
paper
from
him
,
and
looked
at
it
.
It
was
an
ordinary
prescription
for
a
tonic
mixture
.
I
looked
first
at
the
doctor’s
signature
;
it
was
the
name
of
a
perfectly
obscure
person
in
the
profession
.
Below
it
was
written
the
name
of
the
patient
for
whom
the
medicine
had
been
prescribed
.
I
started
as
I
read
it
.
The
name
was
“
Mrs.
Brand
.
”
The
idea
instantly
struck
me
that
this
(
so
far
as
sound
went
,
at
any
rate
)
was
the
English
equivalent
of
Van
Brandt
.
“
Do
you
know
the
lady
who
sent
you
for
the
medicine
?
”
I
asked
.
“
Oh
yes
,
sir
!
She
lodges
with
mother
—
and
she
owes
for
rent
.
I
have
done
everything
she
told
me
,
except
getting
the
physic
.
I’ve
pawned
her
ring
,
and
I’ve
bought
the
bread
and
butter
and
eggs
,
and
I’ve
taken
care
of
the
change
.
Mother
looks
to
the
change
for
her
rent
.
It
isn’t
my
fault
,
sir
,
that
I’ve
lost
myself
.
I
am
but
ten
years
old
—
and
all
the
chemists’
shops
are
shut
up
!
”
Here
my
little
friend’s
sense
of
his
unmerited
misfortunes
overpowered
him
,
and
he
began
to
cry
.
“
Don’t
cry
,
my
man
!
”
I
said
;
“
I’ll
help
you
.
Tell
me
something
more
about
the
lady
first
.
Is
she
alone
?
”
“
She’s
got
her
little
girl
with
her
,
sir
.
”
My
heart
quickened
its
beat
.
The
boy’s
answer
reminded
me
of
that
other
little
girl
whom
my
mother
had
once
seen
.
“
Is
the
lady’s
husband
with
her
?
”
I
asked
next
.
“
No
,
sir
—
not
now
.
He
was
with
her
;
but
he
went
away
—
and
he
hasn’t
come
back
yet
.
”
I
put
a
last
conclusive
question
.
“
Is
her
husband
an
Englishman
?
”
I
inquired
.
“
Mother
says
he’s
a
foreigner
,
”
the
boy
answered
.
I
turned
away
to
hide
my
agitation
.
Even
the
child
might
have
noticed
it
!
Passing
under
the
name
of
“
Mrs.
Brand
”
—
poor
,
so
poor
that
she
was
obliged
to
pawn
her
ring
—
left
,
by
a
man
who
was
a
foreigner
,
alone
with
her
little
girl
—
was
I
on
the
trace
of
her
at
that
moment
?
Was
this
lost
child
destined
to
be
the
innocent
means
of
leading
me
back
to
the
woman
I
loved
,
in
her
direst
need
of
sympathy
and
help
?
The
more
I
thought
of
it
,
the
more
strongly
the
idea
of
returning
with
the
boy
to
the
house
in
which
his
mother’s
lodger
lived
fastened
itself
on
my
mind
.
The
clock
struck
the
quarter
past
eleven
.
If
my
anticipations
ended
in
misleading
me
,
I
had
still
three-quarters
of
an
hour
to
spare
before
the
month
reached
its
end
.
“
Where
do
you
live
?
”
I
asked
.
The
boy
mentioned
a
street
,
the
name
of
which
I
then
heard
for
the
first
time
.
All
he
could
say
,
when
I
asked
for
further
particulars
,
was
that
he
lived
close
by
the
river
—
in
which
direction
,
he
was
too
confused
and
too
frightened
to
be
able
to
tell
me
.
While
we
were
still
trying
to
understand
each
other
,
a
cab
passed
slowly
at
some
little
distance
.
I
hailed
the
man
,
and
mentioned
the
name
of
the
street
to
him
.
He
knew
it
perfectly
well
.
The
street
was
rather
more
than
a
mile
away
from
us
,
in
an
