,then
?
”
It
flashed
across
her
mind
that
he
must
already
be
engaged
to
Mary
.
“
The
solicitor’s
office
?
Yes
.
I’m
giving
that
up
.
”
“
But
why
?
”
she
asked
.
She
answered
herself
at
once
,
with
a
curious
change
from
rapid
speech
to
an
almost
melancholy
tone
.
“
I
think
you’re
very
wise
to
give
it
up
.
You
will
be
much
happier
.
”
At
this
very
moment
,
when
her
words
seemed
to
be
striking
a
path
into
the
future
for
him
,
they
stepped
into
the
yard
of
an
inn
,
and
there
beheld
the
family
coach
of
the
Otways
,
to
which
one
sleek
horse
was
already
attached
,
while
the
second
was
being
led
out
of
the
stable
door
by
the
hostler
.
“
I
don’t
know
what
one
means
by
happiness
,
”
he
said
briefly
,
having
to
step
aside
in
order
to
avoid
a
groom
with
a
bucket
.
“
Why
do
you
think
I
shall
be
happy
?
I
don’t
expect
to
be
anything
of
the
kind
.
I
expect
to
be
rather
less
unhappy
.
I
shall
write
a
book
and
curse
my
charwoman
—
if
happiness
consists
in
that
.
What
do
you
think
?
”
She
could
not
answer
because
they
were
immediately
surrounded
by
other
members
of
the
party
—
by
Mrs.
Hilbery
,
and
Mary
,
Henry
Otway
,
and
William
.
Rodney
went
up
to
Katharine
immediately
and
said
to
her
:
“
Henry
is
going
to
drive
home
with
your
mother
,
and
I
suggest
that
they
should
put
us
down
half-way
and
let
us
walk
back
.
”
Katharine
nodded
her
head
.
She
glanced
at
him
with
an
oddly
furtive
expression
.
“
Unfortunately
we
go
in
opposite
directions
,
or
we
might
have
given
you
a
lift
,
”
he
continued
to
Denham
.
His
manner
was
unusually
peremptory
;
he
seemed
anxious
to
hasten
the
departure
,
and
Katharine
looked
at
him
from
time
to
time
,
as
Denham
noticed
,
with
an
expression
half
of
inquiry
,
half
of
annoyance
.
She
at
once
helped
her
mother
into
her
cloak
,
and
said
to
Mary
:
“
I
want
to
see
you
.
Are
you
going
back
to
London
at
once
?
I
will
write
.
”
She
half
smiled
at
Ralph
,
but
her
look
was
a
little
overcast
by
something
she
was
thinking
,
and
in
a
very
few
minutes
the
Otway
carriage
rolled
out
of
the
stable
yard
and
turned
down
the
high
road
leading
to
the
village
of
Lampsher
.
The
return
drive
was
almost
as
silent
as
the
drive
from
home
had
been
in
the
morning
;
indeed
,
Mrs.
Hilbery
leant
back
with
closed
eyes
in
her
corner
,
and
either
slept
or
feigned
sleep
,
as
her
habit
was
in
the
intervals
between
the
seasons
of
active
exertion
,
or
continued
the
story
which
she
had
begun
to
tell
herself
that
morning
.
About
two
miles
from
Lampsher
the
road
ran
over
the
rounded
summit
of
the
heath
,
a
lonely
spot
marked
by
an
obelisk
of
granite
,
setting
forth
the
gratitude
of
some
great
lady
of
the
eighteenth
century
who
had
been
set
upon
by
highwaymen
at
this
spot
and
delivered
from
death
just
as
hope
seemed
lost
.
In
summer
it
was
a
pleasant
place
,
for
the
deep
woods
on
either
side
murmured
,
and
the
heather
,
which
grew
thick
round
the
granite
pedestal
,
made
the
light
breeze
taste
sweetly
;
in
winter
the
sighing
of
the
trees
was
deepened
to
a
hollow
sound
,
and
the
heath
was
as
gray
and
almost
as
solitary
as
the
empty
sweep
of
the
clouds
above
it
.
Here
Rodney
stopped
the
carriage
and
helped
Katharine
to
alight
.
Henry
,
too
,
gave
her
his
hand
,
and
fancied
that
she
pressed
it
very
slightly
in
parting
as
if
she
sent
him
a
message
.
But
the
carriage
rolled
on
immediately
,
without
wakening
Mrs.
Hilbery
,
and
left
the
couple
standing
by
the
obelisk
.
That
Rodney
was
angry
with
her
and
had
made
this
opportunity
for
speaking
to
her
,
Katharine
knew
very
well
;
she
was
neither
glad
nor
sorry
that
the
time
had
come
,
nor
,
indeed
,
knew
what
to
expect
,
and
thus
remained
silent
.
The
carriage
grew
smaller
and
smaller
upon
the
dusky
road
,
and
still
Rodney
did
not
speak
.
Perhaps
,
she
thought
,
he
waited
until
the
last
sign
of
the
carriage
had
disappeared
beneath
the
curve
of
the
road
and
they
were
left
entirely
alone
.
To
cloak
their
silence
she
read
the
writing
on
the
obelisk
,
to
do
which
she
had
to
walk
completely
round
it
.
She
was
murmuring
a
word
to
two
of
the
pious
lady’s
thanks
above
her
breath
when
Rodney
joined
her
.
In
silence
they
set
out
along
the
cart-track
which
skirted
the
verge
of
the
trees
.
To
break
the
silence
was
exactly
what
Rodney
wished
to
do
,
and
yet
could
not
do
to
his
own
satisfaction
.
In
company
it
was
far
easier
to
approach
Katharine
;
alone
with
her
,
the
aloofness
and
force
of
her
character
checked
all
his
natural
methods
of
attack
.
He
believed
that
she
had
behaved
very
badly
to
him
,
but
each
separate
instance
of
unkindness
seemed
too
petty
to
be
advanced
when
they
were
alone
together
.
“
There’s
no
need
for
us
to
race
,
”
he
complained
at
last
;
upon
which
she
immediately
slackened
her
pace
,
and
walked
too
slowly
to
suit
him
.
In
desperation
he
said
the
first
thing
he
thought
of
,
very
peevishly
and
without
the
dignified
prelude
which
he
had
intended
.
“
I’ve
not
enjoyed
my
holiday
.
”
“
No
?
”
“
No.
I
shall
be
glad
to
get
back
to
work
again
.
”
“
Saturday
,
Sunday
,
Monday
—
there
are
only
three
days
more
,
”
she
counted
.
“
No
one
enjoys
being
made
a
fool
of
before
other
people
,
”
he
blurted
out
,
for
his
irritation
rose
as
she
spoke
,
and
got
the
better
of
his
awe
of
her
,
and
was
inflamed
by
that
awe
.
“
That
refers
to
me
,
I
suppose
,
”
she
said
calmly
.
“
Every
day
since
we’ve
been
here
you’ve
done
something
to
make
me
appear
ridiculous
,
”
he
went
on
.
“
Of
course
,
so
long
as
it
amuses
you
,
you’re
welcome
;
but
we
have
to
remember
that
we
are
going
to
spend
our
lives
together
.
I
asked
you
,
only
this
morning
,
for
example
,
to
come
out
and
take
a
turn
with
me
in
the
garden
.
I
was
waiting
for
you
ten
minutes
,
and
you
never
came
.
Every
one
saw
me
waiting
.
The
stable-boys
saw
me
.
I
was
so
ashamed
that
I
went
in
.
Then
,
on
the
drive
you
hardly
spoke
to
me
.
Henry
noticed
it
.
Every
one
notices
it
...
.
You
find
no
difficulty
in
talking
to
Henry
,
though
.
”
She
noted
these
various
complaints
and
determined
philosophically
to
answer
none
of
them
,
although
the
last
stung
her
to
considerable
irritation
.
She
wished
to
find
out
how
deep
his
grievance
lay
.
“
None
of
these
things
seem
to
me
to
matter
,
”
she
said
.
“
Very
well
,
then
.
I
may
as
well
hold
my
tongue
,
”
he
replied
.
“
In
themselves
they
don’t
seem
to
me
to
matter
;
if
they
hurt
you
,
of
course
they
matter
,
”
she
corrected
herself
scrupulously
.
Her
tone
of
consideration
touched
him
,
and
he
walked
on
in
silence
for
a
space
.
“
And
we
might
be
so
happy
,
Katharine
!
”
he
exclaimed
impulsively
,
and
drew
her
arm
through
his
.
She
withdrew
it
directly
.
“
As
long
as
you
let
yourself
feel
like
this
we
shall
never
be
happy
,
”
she
said
.
The
harshness
,
which
Henry
had
noticed
,
was
again
unmistakable
in
her
manner
.
William
flinched
and
was
silent
.
Such
severity
,
accompanied
by
something
indescribably
cold
and
impersonal
in
her
manner
,
had
constantly
been
meted
out
to
him
during
the
last
few
days
,
always
in
the
company
of
others
.
He
had
recouped
himself
by
some
ridiculous
display
of
vanity
which
,
as
he
knew
,
put
him
still
more
at
her
mercy
.
Now
that
he
was
alone
with
her
there
was
no
stimulus
from
outside
to
draw
his
attention
from
his
injury
.
By
a
considerable
effort
of
self-control
he
forced
himself
to
remain
silent
,
and
to
make
himself
distinguish
what
part
of
his
pain
was
due
to
vanity
,
what
part
to
the
certainty
that
no
woman
really
loving
him
could
speak
thus
.
“
What
do
I
feel
about
Katharine
?
”
he
thought
to
himself
.
It
was
clear
that
she
had
been
a
very
desirable
and
distinguished
figure
,
the
mistress
of
her
little
section
of
the
world
;
but
more
than
that
,
she
was
the
person
of
all
others
who
seemed
to
him
the
arbitress
of
life
,
the
woman
whose
judgment
was
naturally
right
and
steady
,
as
his
had
never
been
in
spite
of
all
his
culture
.
And
then
he
could
not
see
her
come
into
a
room
without
a
sense
of
the
flowing
of
robes
,
of
the
flowering
of
blossoms
,
of
the
purple
waves
of
the
sea
,
of
all
things
that
are
lovely
and
mutable
on
the
surface
but
still
and
passionate
in
their
heart
.
“
If
she
were
callous
all
the
time
and
had
only
led
me
on
to
laugh
at
me
I
couldn’t
have
felt
that
about
her
,
”
he
thought
.
“
I’m
not
a
fool
,
after
all
.
I
can’t
have
been
utterly
mistaken
all
these
years
.
And
yet
,
when
she
speaks
to
me
like
that
!
The
truth
of
it
is
,
”
he
thought
,
“
that
I’ve
got
such
despicable
faults
that
no
one
could
help
speaking
to
me
like
that
.
Katharine
is
quite
right
.
And
yet
those
are
not
my
serious
feelings
,
as
she
knows
quite
well
.
How
can
I
change
myself
?
What
would
make
her
care
for
me
?
”
He
was
terribly
tempted
here
to
break
the
silence
by
asking
Katharine
in
what
respects
he
could
change
himself
to
suit
her
;
but
he
sought
consolation
instead
by
running
over
the
list
of
his
gifts
and
acquirements
,
his
knowledge
of
Greek
and
Latin
,
his
knowledge
of
art
and
literature
,
his
skill
in
the
management
of
meters
,
and
his
ancient
west-country
blood
.
But
the
feeling
that
underlay
all
these
feelings
and
puzzled
him
profoundly
and
kept
him
silent
was
the
certainty
that
he
loved
Katharine
as
sincerely
as
he
had
it
in
him
to
love
any
one
.
And
yet
she
could
speak
to
him
like
that
!
In
a
sort
of
bewilderment
he
lost
all
desire
to
speak
,
and
would
quite
readily
have
taken
up
some
different
topic
of
conversation
if
Katharine
had
started
one
.
This
,
however
,
she
did
not
do
.
He
glanced
at
her
,
in
case
her
expression
might
help
him
to
understand
her
behavior
.
As
usual
,
she
had
quickened
her
pace
unconsciously
,
and
was
now
walking
a
little
in
front
of
him
;
but
he
could
gain
little
information
from
her
eyes
,
which
looked
steadily
at
the
brown
heather
,
or
from
the
lines
drawn
seriously
upon
her
forehead
.
Thus
to
lose
touch
with
her
,
for
he
had
no
idea
what
she
was
thinking
,
was
so
unpleasant
to
him
that
he
began
to
talk
about
his
grievances
again
,
without
,
however
,
much
conviction
in
his
voice
.
“
If
you
have
no
feeling
for
me
,
wouldn’t
it
be
kinder
to
say
so
to
me
in
private
?
”
“
Oh
,
William
,
”
she
burst
out
,
as
if
he
had
interrupted
some
absorbing
train
of
thought
,
“
how
you
go
on
about
feelings
!
Isn’t
it
better
not
to
talk
so
much
,
not
to
be
worrying
always
about
small
things
that
don’t
really
matter
?
”
“
That’s
the
question
precisely
,
”
he
exclaimed
.
“
I
only
want
you
to
tell
me
that
they
don’t
matter
.
There
are
times
when
you
seem
indifferent
to
everything
.
I’m
vain
,
I’ve
a
thousand
faults
;
but
you
know
they’re
not
everything
;
you
know
I
care
for
you
.
”
“
And
if
I
say
that
I
care
for
you
,
don’t
you
believe
me
?
”
“
Say
it
,
Katharine
!
Say
it
as
if
you
meant
it
!
Make
me
feel
that
you
care
for
me
!
”
She
could
not
force
herself
to
speak
a
word
.
The
heather
was
growing
dim
around
them
,
and
the
horizon
was
blotted
out
by
white
mist
.
To
ask
her
for
passion
or
for
certainty
seemed
like
asking
that
damp
prospect
for
fierce
blades
of
fire
,
or
the
faded
sky
for
the
intense
blue
vault
of
June
.
He
went
on
now
to
tell
her
of
his
love
for
her
,
in
words
which
bore
,
even
to
her
critical
senses
,
the
stamp
of
truth
;
but
none
of
this
touched
her
,
until
,
coming
to
a
gate
whose
hinge
was
rusty
,
he
heaved
it
open
with
his
shoulder
,
still
talking
and
taking
no
account
of
his
effort
.
The
virility
of
this
deed
impressed
her
;
and
yet
,
normally
,
she
attached
no
value
to
the
power
of
opening
gates
.
The
strength
of
muscles
has
nothing
to
do
on
the
face
of
it
with
the
strength
of
affections
;
nevertheless
,
she
felt
a
sudden
concern
for
this
power
running
to
waste
on
her
account
,
which
,
combined
with
a
desire
to
keep
possession
of
that
strangely
attractive
masculine
power
,
made
her
rouse
herself
from
her
torpor
.
Why
should
she
not
simply
tell
him
the
truth
—
which
was
that
she
had
accepted
him
in
a
misty
state
of
mind
when
nothing
had
its
right
shape
or
size
?
that
it
was
deplorable
,
but
that
with
clearer
eyesight
marriage
was
out
of
the
question
?
She
did
not
want
to
marry
any
one
.
She
wanted
to
go
away
by
herself
,
preferably
to
some
bleak
northern
moor
,
and
there
study
mathematics
and
the
science
of
astronomy
.
Twenty
words
would
explain
the
whole
situation
to
him
.
He
had
ceased
to
speak
;
he
had
told
her
once
more
how
he
loved
her
and
why
.
She
summoned
her
courage
,
fixed
her
eyes
upon
a
lightning-splintered
ash-tree
,
and
,
almost
as
if
she
were
reading
a
writing
fixed
to
the
trunk
,
began
:
“
I
was
wrong
to
get
engaged
to
you
.
I
shall
never
make
you
happy
.
I
have
never
loved
you
.
”
“
Katharine
!
”
he
protested
.
“
No
,
never
,
”
she
repeated
obstinately
.
“
Not
rightly
.
Don’t
you
see
,
I
didn’t
know
what
I
was
doing
?
”
“
You
love
some
one
else
?
”
he
cut
her
short
.
“
Absolutely
no
one
.
”
“
Henry
?
”
he
demanded
.
“
Henry
?
I
should
have
thought
,
William
,
even
you
—
”
“
There
is
some
one
,
”
he
persisted
.
“
There
has
been
a
change
in
the
last
few
weeks
.
You
owe
it
to
me
to
be
honest
,
Katharine
.
”
“
If
I
could
,
I
would
,
”
she
replied
.
“
Why
did
you
tell
me
you
would
marry
me
,
then
?
”
he
demanded
.
Why
,
indeed
?
A
moment
of
pessimism
,
a
sudden
conviction
of
the
undeniable
prose
of
life
,
a
lapse
of
the
illusion
which
sustains
youth
midway
between
heaven
and
earth
,
a
desperate
attempt
to
reconcile
herself
with
facts
—
she
could
only
recall
a
moment
,
as
of
waking
from
a
dream
,
which
now
seemed
to
her
a
moment
of
surrender
.
But
who
could
give
reasons
such
as
these
for
doing
what
she
had
done
?
She
shook
her
head
very
sadly
.
“
But
you’re
not
a
child
—
you’re
not
a
woman
of
moods
,
”
Rodney
persisted
.
“
You
couldn’t
have
accepted
me
if
you
hadn’t
loved
me
!
”
he
cried
.
A
sense
of
her
own
misbehavior
,
which
she
had
succeeded
in
keeping
from
her
by
sharpening
her
consciousness
of
Rodney’s
faults
,
now
swept
over
her
and
almost
overwhelmed
her
.
What
were
his
faults
in
comparison
with
the
fact
that
he
cared
for
her
?
What
were
her
virtues
in
comparison
with
the
fact
that
she
did
not
care
for
him
?
In
a
flash
the
conviction
that
not
to
care
is
the
uttermost
sin
of
all
stamped
itself
upon
her
inmost
thought
;
and
she
felt
herself
branded
for
ever
.
He
had
taken
her
arm
,
and
held
her
hand
firmly
in
his
,
nor
had
she
the
force
to
resist
what
now
seemed
to
her
his
enormously
superior
strength
.
Very
well
;
she
would
submit
,
as
her
mother
and
her
aunt
and
most
women
,
perhaps
,
had
submitted
;
and
yet
she
knew
that
every
second
of
such
submission
to
his
strength
was
a
second
of
treachery
to
him
.
“
I
did
say
I
would
marry
you
,
but
it
was
wrong
,
”
she
forced
herself
to
say
,
and
she
stiffened
her
arm
as
if
to
annul
even
the
seeming
submission
of
that
separate
part
of
her
;
“
for
I
don’t
love
you
,
William
;
you’ve
noticed
it
,
every
one’s
noticed
it
;
why
should
we
go
on
pretending
?
When
I
told
you
I
loved
you
,
I
was
wrong
.
I
said
what
I
knew
to
be
untrue
.
”
As
none
of
her
words
seemed
to
her
at
all
adequate
to
represent
what
she
felt
,
she
repeated
them
,
and
emphasized
them
without
realizing
the
effect
that
they
might
have
upon
a
man
who
cared
for
her
.
She
was
completely
taken
aback
by
finding
her
arm
suddenly
dropped
;
then
she
saw
his
face
most
strangely
contorted
;
was
he
laughing
,
it
flashed
across
her
?
In
another
moment
she
saw
that
he
was
in
tears
.
In
her
bewilderment
at
this
apparition
she
stood
aghast
for
a
second
.
With
a
desperate
sense
that
this
horror
must
,
at
all
costs
,
be
stopped
,
she
then
put
her
arms
about
him
,
drew
his
head
for
a
moment
upon
her
shoulder
,
and
led
him
on
,
murmuring
words
of
consolation
,
until
he
heaved
a
great
sigh
.
They
held
fast
to
each
other
;
her
tears
,
too
,
ran
down
her
cheeks
;
and
were
both
quite
silent
.
Noticing
the
difficulty
with
which
he
walked
,
and
feeling
the
same
extreme
lassitude
in
her
own
limbs
,
she
proposed
that
they
should
rest
for
a
moment
where
the
bracken
was
brown
and
shriveled
beneath
an
oak-tree
.
He
assented
.
Once
more
he
gave
a
great
sigh
,
and
wiped
his
eyes
with
a
childlike
unconsciousness
,
and
began
to
speak
without
a
trace
of
his
previous
anger
.
The
idea
came
to
her
that
they
were
like
the
children
in
the
fairy
tale
who
were
lost
in
a
wood
,
and
with
this
in
her
mind
she
noticed
the
scattering
of
dead
leaves
all
round
them
which
had
been
blown
by
the
wind
into
heaps
,
a
foot
or
two
deep
,
here
and
there
.
“
When
did
you
begin
to
feel
this
,
Katharine
?
”
he
said
;
“
for
it
isn’t
true
to
say
that
you’ve
always
felt
it
.
I
admit
I
was
unreasonable
the
first
night
when
you
found
that
your
clothes
had
been
left
behind
.
Still
,
where’s
the
fault
in
that
?
I
could
promise
you
never
to
interfere
with
your
clothes
again
.
I
admit
I
was
cross
when
I
found
you
upstairs
with
Henry
.
Perhaps
I
showed
it
too
openly
.
But
that’s
not
unreasonable
either
when
one’s
engaged
.
Ask
your
mother
.
And
now
this
terrible
thing
—
”
He
broke
off
,
unable
for
the
moment
to
proceed
any
further
.
“
This
decision
you
say
you’ve
come
to
—
have
you
discussed
it
with
any
one
?
Your
mother
,
for
example
,
or
Henry
?
”
“
No
,
no
,
of
course
not
,
”
she
said
,
stirring
the
leaves
with
her
hand
.
“
But
you
don’t
understand
me
,
William
—
”
“
Help
me
to
understand
you
—
”
“
You
don’t
understand
,
I
mean
,
my
real
feelings
;
how
could
you
?
I’ve
only
now
faced
them
myself
.
But
I
haven’t
got
the
sort
of
feeling
—
love
,
I
mean
—
I
don’t
know
what
to
call
it
”
—
she
looked
vaguely
towards
the
horizon
sunk
under
mist
—
“
but
,
anyhow
,
without
it
our
marriage
would
be
a
farce
—
”
“
How
a
farce
?
”
he
asked
.
“
But
this
kind
of
analysis
is
disastrous
!
”
he
exclaimed
.
“
I
should
have
done
it
before
,
”
she
said
gloomily
.
“
You
make
yourself
think
things
you
don’t
think
,
”
he
continued
,
becoming
demonstrative
with
his
hands
,
as
his
manner
was
.
“
Believe
me
,
Katharine
,
before
we
came
here
we
were
perfectly
happy
.
You
were
full
of
plans
for
our
house
—
the
chair-covers
,
don’t
you
remember
?
—
like
any
other
woman
who
is
about
to
be
married
.
Now
,
for
no
reason
whatever
,
you
begin
to
fret
about
your
feeling
and
about
my
feeling
,
with
the
usual
result
.
I
assure
you
,
Katharine
,
I’ve
been
through
it
all
myself
.
At
one
time
I
was
always
asking
myself
absurd
questions
which
came
to
nothing
either
.
What
you
want
,
if
I
may
say
so
,
is
some
occupation
to
take
you
out
of
yourself
when
this
morbid
mood
comes
on
.
If
it
hadn’t
been
for
my
poetry
,
I
assure
you
,
I
should
often
have
been
very
much
in
the
same
state
myself
.
To
let
you
into
a
secret
,
”
he
continued
,
with
his
little
chuckle
,
which
now
sounded
almost
assured
,
“
I’ve
often
gone
home
from
seeing
you
in
such
a
state
of
nerves
that
I
had
to
force
myself
to
write
a
page
or
two
before
I
could
get
you
out
of
my
head
.
Ask
Denham
;
he’ll
tell
you
how
he
met
me
one
night
;
he’ll
tell
you
what
a
state
he
found
me
in
.
”
Katharine
started
with
displeasure
at
the
mention
of
Ralph’s
name
.
The
thought
of
the
conversation
in
which
her
conduct
had
been
made
a
subject
for
discussion
with
Denham
roused
her
anger
;
but
,
as
she
instantly
felt
,
she
had
scarcely
the
right
to
grudge
William
any
use
of
her
name
,
seeing
what
her
fault
against
him
had
been
from
first
to
last
.
And
yet
Denham
!
She
had
a
view
of
him
as
a
judge
.
She
figured
him
sternly
weighing
instances
of
her
levity
in
this
masculine
court
of
inquiry
into
feminine
morality
and
gruffly
dismissing
both
her
and
her
family
with
some
half-sarcastic
,
half-tolerant
phrase
which
sealed
her
doom
,
as
far
as
he
was
concerned
,
for
ever
.
Having
met
him
so
lately
,
the
sense
of
his
character
was
strong
in
her
.
The
thought
was
not
a
pleasant
one
for
a
proud
woman
,
but
she
had
yet
to
learn
the
art
of
subduing
her
expression
.
Her
eyes
fixed
upon
the
ground
,
her
brows
drawn
together
,
gave
William
a
very
fair
picture
of
the
resentment
that
she
was
forcing
herself
to
control
.
A
certain
degree
of
apprehension
,
occasionally
culminating
in
a
kind
of
fear
,
had
always
entered
into
his
love
for
her
,
and
had
increased
,
rather
to
his
surprise
,
in
the
greater
intimacy
of
their
engagement
.
Beneath
her
steady
,
exemplary
surface
ran
a
vein
of
passion
which
seemed
to
him
now
perverse
,
now
completely
irrational
,
for
it
never
took
the
normal
channel
of
glorification
of
him
and
his
doings
;
and
,
indeed
,
he
almost
preferred
the
steady
good
sense
,
which
had
always
marked
their
relationship
,
to
a
more
romantic
bond
.
But
passion
she
had
,
he
could
not
deny
it
,
and
hitherto
he
had
tried
to
see
it
employed
in
his
thoughts
upon
the
lives
of
the
children
who
were
to
be
born
to
them
.
“
She
will
make
a
perfect
mother
—
a
mother
of
sons
,
”
he
thought
;
but
seeing
her
sitting
there
,
gloomy
and
silent
,
he
began
to
have
his
doubts
on
this
point
.
“
A
farce
,
a
farce
,
”
he
thought
to
himself
.
“
She
said
that
our
marriage
would
be
a
farce
,
”
and
he
became
suddenly
aware
of
their
situation
,
sitting
upon
the
ground
,
among
the
dead
leaves
,
not
fifty
yards
from
the
main
road
,
so
that
it
was
quite
possible
for
some
one
passing
to
see
and
recognize
them
.
He
brushed
off
his
face
any
trace
that
might
remain
of
that
unseemly
exhibition
of
emotion
.
But
he
was
more
troubled
by
Katharine’s
appearance
,
as
she
sat
rapt
in
thought
upon
the
ground
,
than
by
his
own
;
there
was
something
improper
to
him
in
her
self-forgetfulness
.
A
man
naturally
alive
to
the
conventions
of
society
,
he
was
strictly
conventional
where
women
were
concerned
,
and
especially
if
the
women
happened
to
be
in
any
way
connected
with
him
.
He
noticed
with
distress
the
long
strand
of
dark
hair
touching
her
shoulder
and
two
or
three
dead
beech-leaves
attached
to
her
dress
;
but
to
recall
her
mind
in
their
present
circumstances
to
a
sense
of
these
details
was
impossible
.
She
sat
there
,
seeming
unconscious
of
everything
.
He
suspected
that
in
her
silence
she
was
reproaching
herself
;
but
he
wished
that
she
would
think
of
her
hair
and
of
the
dead
beech-leaves
,
which
were
of
more
immediate
importance
to
him
than
anything
else
.
Indeed
,
these
trifles
drew
his
attention
strangely
from
his
own
doubtful
and
uneasy
state
of
mind
;
for
relief
,
mixing
itself
with
pain
,
stirred
up
a
most
curious
hurry
and
tumult
in
his
breast
,
almost
concealing
his
first
sharp
sense
of
bleak
and
overwhelming
disappointment
.
In
order
to
relieve
this
restlessness
and
close
a
distressingly
ill-ordered
scene
,
he
rose
abruptly
and
helped
Katharine
to
her
feet
.
She
smiled
a
little
at
the
minute
care
with
which
he
tidied
her
and
yet
,
when
he
brushed
the
dead
leaves
from
his
own
coat
,
she
flinched
,
seeing
in
that
action
the
gesture
of
a
lonely
man
.
“
William
,
”
she
said
,
“
I
will
marry
you
.
I
will
try
to
make
you
happy
.
”
CHAPTER
XIX
The
afternoon
was
already
growing
dark
when
the
two
other
wayfarers
,
Mary
and
Ralph
Denham
,
came
out
on
the
high
road
beyond
the
outskirts
of
Lincoln
.
The
high
road
,
as
they
both
felt
,
was
better
suited
to
this
return
journey
than
the
open
country
,
and
for
the
first
mile
or
so
of
the
way
they
spoke
little
.
In
his
own
mind
Ralph
was
following
the
passage
of
the
Otway
carriage
over
the
heath
;
he
then
went
back
to
the
five
or
ten
minutes
that
he
had
spent
with
Katharine
,
and
examined
each
word
with
the
care
that
a
scholar
displays
upon
the
irregularities
of
an
ancient
text
.
He
was
determined
that
the
glow
,
the
romance
,
the
atmosphere
of
this
meeting
should
not
paint
what
he
must
in
future
regard
as
sober
facts
.
On
her
side
Mary
was
silent
,
not
because
her
thoughts
took
much
handling
,
but
because
her
mind
seemed
empty
of
thought
as
her
heart
of
feeling
.
Only
Ralph’s
presence
,
as
she
knew
,
preserved
this
numbness
,
for
she
could
foresee
a
time
of
loneliness
when
many
varieties
of
pain
would
beset
her
.
At
the
present
moment
her
effort
was
to
preserve
what
she
could
of
the
wreck
of
her
self-respect
,
for
such
she
deemed
that
momentary
glimpse
of
her
love
so
involuntarily
revealed
to
Ralph
.
In
the
light
of
reason
it
did
not
much
matter
,
perhaps
,
but
it
was
her
instinct
to
be
careful
of
that
vision
of
herself
which
keeps
pace
so
evenly
beside
every
one
of
us
,
and
had
been
damaged
by
her
confession
.
The
gray
night
coming
down
over
the
country
was
kind
to
her
;
and
she
thought
that
one
of
these
days
she
would
find
comfort
in
sitting
upon
the
earth
,
alone
,
beneath
a
tree
.
Looking
through
the
darkness
,
she
marked
the
swelling
ground
and
the
tree
.
Ralph
made
her
start
by
saying
abruptly
;
“
What
I
was
going
to
say
when
we
were
interrupted
at
lunch
was
that
if
you
go
to
America
I
shall
come
,
too
.
It
can’t
be
harder
to
earn
a
living
there
than
it
is
here
.
However
,
that’s
not
the
point
.
The
point
is
,
Mary
,
that
I
want
to
marry
you
.
Well
,
what
do
you
say
?
”
He
spoke
firmly
,
waited
for
no
answer
,
and
took
her
arm
in
his
.
“
You
know
me
by
this
time
,
the
good
and
the
bad
,
”
he
went
on
.
“
You
know
my
tempers
.
I’ve
tried
to
let
you
know
my
faults
.
Well
,
what
do
you
say
,
Mary
?
”
She
said
nothing
,
but
this
did
not
seem
to
strike
him
.
“
In
most
ways
,
at
least
in
the
important
ways
,
as
you
said
,
we
know
each
other
and
we
think
alike
.
I
believe
you
are
the
only
person
in
the
world
I
could
live
with
happily
.
And
if
you
feel
the
same
about
me
—
as
you
do
,
don’t
you
,
Mary
?
—
we
should
make
each
other
happy
.
”
Here
he
paused
,
and
seemed
to
be
in
no
hurry
for
an
answer
;
he
seemed
,
indeed
,
to
be
continuing
his
own
thoughts
.
“
Yes
,
but
I’m
afraid
I
couldn’t
do
it
,
”
Mary
said
at
last
.
The
casual
and
rather
hurried
way
in
which
she
spoke
,
together
with
the
fact
that
she
was
saying
the
exact
opposite
of
what
he
expected
her
to
say
,
baffled
him
so
much
that
he
instinctively
loosened
his
clasp
upon
her
arm
and
she
withdrew
it
quietly
.
“
You
couldn’t
do
it
?
”
he
asked
.
“
No
,
I
couldn’t
marry
you
,
”
she
replied
.
“
You
don’t
care
for
me
?
”
She
made
no
answer
.
“
Well
,
Mary
,
”
he
said
,
with
a
curious
laugh
,
“
I
must
be
an
arrant
fool
,
for
I
thought
you
did
.
”
They
walked
for
a
minute
or
two
in
silence
,
and
suddenly
he
turned
to
her
,
looked
at
her
,
and
exclaimed
:
“
I
don’t
believe
you
,
Mary
.
You’re
not
telling
me
the
truth
.
”
“
I’m
too
tired
to
argue
,
Ralph
,
”
she
replied
,
turning
her
head
away
from
him
.
“
I
ask
you
to
believe
what
I
say
.
I
can’t
marry
you
;
I
don’t
want
to
marry
you
.
”
The
voice
in
which
she
stated
this
was
so
evidently
the
voice
of
one
in
some
extremity
of
anguish
that
Ralph
had
no
course
but
to
obey
her
.
And
as
soon
as
the
tone
of
her
voice
had
died
out
,
and
the
surprise
faded
from
his
mind
,
he
found
himself
believing
that
she
had
spoken
the
truth
,
for
he
had
but
little
vanity
,
and
soon
her
refusal
seemed
a
natural
thing
to
him
.
He
slipped
through
all
the
grades
of
despondency
until
he
reached
a
bottom
of
absolute
gloom
.
Failure
seemed
to
mark
the
whole
of
his
life
;
he
had
failed
with
Katharine
,
and
now
he
had
failed
with
Mary
.
Up
at
once
sprang
the
thought
of
Katharine
,
and
with
it
a
sense
of
exulting
freedom
,
but
this
he
checked
instantly
.
No
good
had
ever
come
to
him
from
Katharine
;
his
whole
relationship
with
her
had
been
made
up
of
dreams
;
and
as
he
thought
of
the
little
substance
there
had
been
in
his
dreams
he
began
to
lay
the
blame
of
the
present
catastrophe
upon
his
dreams
.
“
Haven’t
I
always
been
thinking
of
Katharine
while
I
was
with
Mary
?
I
might
have
loved
Mary
if
it
hadn’t
been
for
that
idiocy
of
mine
.
She
cared
for
me
once
,
I’m
certain
of
that
,
but
I
tormented
her
so
with
my
humors
that
I
let
my
chances
slip
,
and
now
she
won’t
risk
marrying
me
.
And
this
is
what
I’ve
made
of
my
life
—
nothing
,
nothing
,
nothing
.
”
The
tramp
of
their
boots
upon
the
dry
road
seemed
to
asseverate
nothing
,
nothing
,
nothing
.
Mary
thought
that
this
silence
was
the
silence
of
relief
;
his
depression
she
ascribed
to
the
fact
that
he
had
seen
Katharine
and
parted
from
her
,
leaving
her
in
the
company
of
William
Rodney
.
She
could
not
blame
him
for
loving
Katharine
,
but
that
,
when
he
loved
another
,
he
should
ask
her
to
marry
him
—
that
seemed
to
her
the
cruellest
treachery
.
Their
old
friendship
and
its
firm
base
upon
indestructible
qualities
of
character
crumbled
,
and
her
whole
past
seemed
foolish
,
herself
weak
and
credulous
,
and
Ralph
merely
the
shell
of
an
honest
man
.
Oh
,
the
past
—
so
much
made
up
of
Ralph
;
and
now
,
as
she
saw
,
made
up
of
something
strange
and
false
and
other
than
she
had
thought
it
.
She
tried
to
recapture
a
saying
she
had
made
to
help
herself
that
morning
,
as
Ralph
paid
the
bill
for
luncheon
;
but
she
could
see
him
paying
the
bill
more
vividly
than
she
could
remember
the
phrase
.
Something
about
truth
was
in
it
;
how
to
see
the
truth
is
our
great
chance
in
this
world
.
“
If
you
don’t
want
to
marry
me
,
”
Ralph
now
began
again
,
without
abruptness
,
with
diffidence
rather
,
“
there
is
no
need
why
we
should
cease
to
see
each
other
,
is
there
?
Or
would
you
rather
that
we
should
keep
apart
for
the
present
?
”
“
Keep
apart
?
I
don’t
know
—
I
must
think
about
it
.
”
“
Tell
me
one
thing
,
Mary
,
”
he
resumed
;
“
have
I
done
anything
to
make
you
change
your
mind
about
me
?
”
She
was
immensely
tempted
to
give
way
to
her
natural
trust
in
him
,
revived
by
the
deep
and
now
melancholy
tones
of
his
voice
,
and
to
tell
him
of
her
love
,
and
of
what
had
changed
it
.
But
although
it
seemed
likely
that
she
would
soon
control
her
anger
with
him
,
the
certainty
that
he
did
not
love
her
,
confirmed
by
every
word
of
his
proposal
,
forbade
any
freedom
of
speech
.
To
hear
him
speak
and
to
feel
herself
unable
to
reply
,
or
constrained
in
her
replies
,
was
so
painful
that
she
longed
for
the
time
when
she
should
be
alone
.
A
more
pliant
woman
would
have
taken
this
chance
of
an
explanation
,
whatever
risks
attached
to
it
;
but
to
one
of
Mary’s
firm
and
resolute
temperament
there
was
degradation
in
the
idea
of
self-abandonment
;
let
the
waves
of
emotion
rise
ever
so
high
,
she
could
not
shut
her
eyes
to
what
she
conceived
to
be
the
truth
.
Her
silence
puzzled
Ralph
.
He
searched
his
memory
for
words
or
deeds
that
might
have
made
her
think
badly
of
him
.
In
his
present
mood
instances
came
but
too
quickly
,
and
on
top
of
them
this
culminating
proof
of
his
baseness
—
that
he
had
asked
her
to
marry
him
when
his
reasons
for
such
a
proposal
were
selfish
and
half-hearted
.
“
You
needn’t
answer
,
”
he
said
grimly
.
“
There
are
reasons
enough
,
I
know
.
But
must
they
kill
our
friendship
,
Mary
?
Let
me
keep
that
,
at
least
.
”
“
Oh
,
”
she
thought
to
herself
,
with
a
sudden
rush
of
anguish
which
threatened
disaster
to
her
self-respect
,
“
it
has
come
to
this
—
to
this
—
when
I
could
have
given
him
everything
!
”
“
Yes
,
we
can
still
be
friends
,
”
she
said
,
with
what
firmness
she
could
muster
.
“
I
shall
want
your
friendship
,
”
he
said
.
He
added
,
“
If
you
find
it
possible
,
let
me
see
you
as
often
as
you
can
.
The
oftener
the
better
.
I
shall
want
your
help
.
”
She
promised
this
,
and
they
went
on
to
talk
calmly
of
things
that
had
no
reference
to
their
feelings
—
a
talk
which
,
in
its
constraint
,
was
infinitely
sad
to
both
of
them
.
One
more
reference
was
made
to
the
state
of
things
between
them
late
that
night
,
when
Elizabeth
had
gone
to
her
room
,
and
the
two
young
men
had
stumbled
off
to
bed
in
such
a
state
of
sleep
that
they
hardly
felt
the
floor
beneath
their
feet
after
a
day’s
shooting
.
Mary
drew
her
chair
a
little
nearer
to
the
fire
,
for
the
logs
were
burning
low
,
and
at
this
time
of
night
it
was
hardly
worth
while
to
replenish
them
.
Ralph
was
reading
,
but
she
had
noticed
for
some
time
that
his
eyes
instead
of
following
the
print
were
fixed
rather
above
the
page
with
an
intensity
of
gloom
that
came
to
weigh
upon
her
mind
.
She
had
not
weakened
in
her
resolve
not
to
give
way
,
for
reflection
had
only
made
her
more
bitterly
certain
that
,
if
she
gave
way
,
it
would
be
to
her
own
wish
and
not
to
his
.
But
she
had
determined
that
there
was
no
reason
why
he
should
suffer
if
her
reticence
were
the
cause
of
his
suffering
.
Therefore
,
although
she
found
it
painful
,
she
spoke
:
“
You
asked
me
if
I
had
changed
my
mind
about
you
,
Ralph
,
”
she
said
.
“
I
think
there’s
only
one
thing
.
When
you
asked
me
to
marry
you
,
I
don’t
think
you
meant
it
.
That
made
me
angry
—
for
the
moment
.
Before
,
you’d
always
spoken
the
truth
.
”
Ralph’s
book
slid
down
upon
his
knee
and
fell
upon
the
floor
.
He
rested
his
forehead
on
his
hand
and
looked
into
the
fire
.
He
was
trying
to
recall
the
exact
words
in
which
he
had
made
his
proposal
to
Mary
.
“
I
never
said
I
loved
you
,
”
he
said
at
last
.
She
winced
;
but
she
respected
him
for
saying
what
he
did
,
for
this
,
after
all
,
was
a
fragment
of
the
truth
which
she
had
vowed
to
live
by
.
“
And
to
me
marriage
without
love
doesn’t
seem
worth
while
,
”
she
said
.
“
Well
,
Mary
,
I’m
not
going
to
press
you
,
”
he
said
.
“
I
see
you
don’t
want
to
marry
me
.
But
love
—
don’t
we
all
talk
a
great
deal
of
nonsense
about
it
?
What
does
one
mean
?
I
believe
I
care
for
you
more
genuinely
than
nine
men
out
of
ten
care
for
the
women
they’re
in
love
with
.
It’s
only
a
story
one
makes
up
in
one’s
mind
about
another
person
,
and
one
knows
all
the
time
it
isn’t
true
.
Of
course
one
knows
;
why
,
one’s
always
taking
care
not
to
destroy
the
illusion
.
One
takes
care
not
to
see
them
too
often
,
or
to
be
alone
with
them
for
too
long
together
.
It’s
a
pleasant
illusion
,
but
if
you’re
thinking
of
the
risks
of
marriage
,
it
seems
to
me
that
the
risk
of
marrying
a
person
you’re
in
love
with
is
something
colossal
.
”
“
I
don’t
believe
a
word
of
that
,
and
what’s
more
you
don’t
,
either
,
”
she
replied
with
anger
.
“
However
,
we
don’t
agree
;
I
only
wanted
you
to
understand
.
”
She
shifted
her
position
,
as
if
she
were
about
to
go
.
An
instinctive
desire
to
prevent
her
from
leaving
the
room
made
Ralph
rise
at
this
point
and
begin
pacing
up
and
down
the
nearly
empty
kitchen
,
checking
his
desire
,
each
time
he
reached
the
door
,
to
open
it
and
step
out
into
the
garden
.
A
moralist
might
have
said
that
at
this
point
his
mind
should
have
been
full
of
self-reproach
for
the
suffering
he
had
caused
.
On
the
contrary
,
he
was
extremely
angry
,
with
the
confused
impotent
anger
of
one
who
finds
himself
unreasonably
but
efficiently
frustrated
.
He
was
trapped
by
the
illogicality
of
human
life
.
The
obstacles
in
the
way
of
his
desire
seemed
to
him
purely
artificial
,
and
yet
he
could
see
no
way
of
removing
them
.
Mary’s
words
,
the
tone
of
her
voice
even
,
angered
him
,
for
she
would
not
help
him
.
She
was
part
of
the
insanely
jumbled
muddle
of
a
world
which
impedes
the
sensible
life
.
He
would
have
liked
to
slam
the
door
or
break
the
hind
legs
of
a
chair
,
for
the
obstacles
had
taken
some
such
curiously
substantial
shape
in
his
mind
.
“
I
doubt
that
one
human
being
ever
understands
another
,
”
he
said
,
stopping
in
his
march
and
confronting
Mary
at
a
distance
of
a
few
feet
.
“
Such
damned
liars
as
we
all
are
,
how
can
we
?
But
we
can
try
.
If
you
don’t
want
to
marry
me
,
don’t
;
but
the
position
you
take
up
about
love
,
and
not
seeing
each
other
—
isn’t
that
mere
sentimentality
?
You
think
I’ve
behaved
very
badly
,
”
he
continued
,
as
she
did
not
speak
.
“
Of
course
I
behave
badly
;
but
you
can’t
judge
people
by
what
they
do
.
You
can’t
go
through
life
measuring
right
and
wrong
with
a
foot-rule
.
That’s
what
you’re
always
doing
,
Mary
;
that’s
what
you’re
doing
now
.
”
She
saw
herself
in
the
Suffrage
Office
,
delivering
judgment
,
meting
out
right
and
wrong
,
and
there
seemed
to
her
to
be
some
justice
in
the
charge
,
although
it
did
not
affect
her
main
position
.
“
I’m
not
angry
with
you
,
”
she
said
slowly
.
“
I
will
go
on
seeing
you
,
as
I
said
I
would
.
”
It
was
true
that
she
had
promised
that
much
already
,
and
it
was
difficult
for
him
to
say
what
more
it
was
that
he
wanted
—
some
intimacy
,
some
help
against
the
ghost
of
Katharine
,
perhaps
,
something
that
he
knew
he
had
no
right
to
ask
;
and
yet
,
as
he
sank
into
his
chair
and
looked
once
more
at
the
dying
fire
it
seemed
to
him
that
he
had
been
defeated
,
not
so
much
by
Mary
as
by
life
itself
.
He
felt
himself
thrown
back
to
the
beginning
of
life
again
,
where
everything
has
yet
to
be
won
;
but
in
extreme
youth
one
has
an
ignorant
hope
.
He
was
no
longer
certain
that
he
would
triumph
.
CHAPTER
XX
Happily
for
Mary
Datchet
she
returned
to
the
office
to
find
that
by
some
obscure
Parliamentary
maneuver
the
vote
had
once
more
slipped
beyond
the
attainment
of
women
.
Mrs.
Seal
was
in
a
condition
bordering
upon
frenzy
.
The
duplicity
of
Ministers
,
the
treachery
of
mankind
,
the
insult
to
womanhood
,
the
setback
to
civilization
,
the
ruin
of
her
life’s
work
,
the
feelings
of
her
father’s
daughter
—
all
these
topics
were
discussed
in
turn
,
and
the
office
was
littered
with
newspaper
cuttings
branded
with
the
blue
,
if
ambiguous
,
marks
of
her
displeasure
.
She
confessed
herself
at
fault
in
her
estimate
of
human
nature
.
“
The
simple
elementary
acts
of
justice
,
”
she
said
,
waving
her
hand
towards
the
window
,
and
indicating
the
foot-passengers
and
omnibuses
then
passing
down
the
far
side
of
Russell
Square
,
“
are
as
far
beyond
them
as
they
ever
were
.
We
can
only
look
upon
ourselves
,
Mary
,
as
pioneers
in
a
wilderness
.
We
can
only
go
on
patiently
putting
the
truth
before
them
.
It
isn’t
them
,
”
she
continued
,
taking
heart
from
her
sight
of
the
traffic
,
“
it’s
their
leaders
.
It’s
those
gentlemen
sitting
in
Parliament
and
drawing
four
hundred
a
year
of
the
people’s
money
.
If
we
had
to
put
our
case
to
the
people
,
we
should
soon
have
justice
done
to
us
.
I
have
always
believed
in
the
people
,
and
I
do
so
still
.
But
—
”
She
shook
her
head
and
implied
that
she
would
give
them
one
more
chance
,
and
if
they
didn’t
take
advantage
of
that
she
couldn’t
answer
for
the
consequences
.
Mr.
Clacton’s
attitude
was
more
philosophical
and
better
supported
by
statistics
.
He
came
into
the
room
after
Mrs.
Seal’s
outburst
and
pointed
out
,
with
historical
illustrations
,
that
such
reverses
had
happened
in
every
political
campaign
of
any
importance
.
If
anything
,
his
spirits
were
improved
by
the
disaster
.
The
enemy
,
he
said
,
had
taken
the
offensive
;
and
it
was
now
up
to
the
Society
to
outwit
the
enemy
.
He
gave
Mary
to
understand
that
he
had
taken
the
measure
of
their
cunning
,
and
had
already
bent
his
mind
to
the
task
which
,
so
far
as
she
could
make
out
,
depended
solely
upon
him
.
It
depended
,
so
she
came
to
think
,
when
invited
into
his
room
for
a
private
conference
,
upon
a
systematic
revision
of
the
card-index
,
upon
the
issue
of
certain
new
lemon-colored
leaflets
,
in
which
the
facts
were
marshaled
once
more
in
a
very
striking
way
,
and
upon
a
large
scale
map
of
England
dotted
with
little
pins
tufted
with
differently
colored
plumes
of
hair
according
to
their
geographical
position
.
Each
district
,
under
the
new
system
,
had
its
flag
,
its
bottle
of
ink
,
its
sheaf
of
documents
tabulated
and
filed
for
reference
in
a
drawer
,
so
that
by
looking
under
M
or
S
,
as
the
case
might
be
,
you
had
all
the
facts
with
respect
to
the
Suffrage
organizations
of
that
county
at
your
fingers’
ends
.
This
would
require
a
great
deal
of
work
,
of
course
.
“
We
must
try
to
consider
ourselves
rather
in
the
light
of
a
telephone
exchange
—
for
the
exchange
of
ideas
,
Miss
Datchet
,
”
he
said
;
and
taking
pleasure
in
his
image
,
he
continued
it
.
“
We
should
consider
ourselves
the
center
of
an
enormous
system
of
wires
,
connecting
us
up
with
every
district
of
the
country
.
We
must
have
our
fingers
upon
the
pulse
of
the
community
;
we
want
to
know
what
people
all
over
England
are
thinking
;
we
want
to
put
them
in
the
way
of
thinking
rightly
.
”
The
system
,
of
course
,
was
only
roughly
sketched
so
far
—
jotted
down
,
in
fact
,
during
the
Christmas
holidays
.
“
When
you
ought
to
have
been
taking
a
rest
,
Mr.
Clacton
,
”
said
Mary
dutifully
,
but
her
tone
was
flat
and
tired
.
“
We
learn
to
do
without
holidays
,
Miss
Datchet
,
”
said
Mr.
Clacton
,
with
a
spark
of
satisfaction
in
his
eye
.
He
wished
particularly
to
have
her
opinion
of
the
lemon-colored
leaflet
.
According
to
his
plan
,
it
was
to
be
distributed
in
immense
quantities
immediately
,
in
order
to
stimulate
and
generate
,
“
to
generate
and
stimulate
,
”
he
repeated
,
“
right
thoughts
in
the
country
before
the
meeting
of
Parliament
.
”
“
We
have
to
take
the
enemy
by
surprise
,
”
he
said
.
“
They
don’t
let
the
grass
grow
under
their
feet
.
Have
you
seen
Bingham’s
address
to
his
constituents
?
That’s
a
hint
of
the
sort
of
thing
we’ve
got
to
meet
,
Miss
Datchet
.
”
He
handed
her
a
great
bundle
of
newspaper
cuttings
,
and
,
begging
her
to
give
him
her
views
upon
the
yellow
leaflet
before
lunch-time
,
he
turned
with
alacrity
to
his
different
sheets
of
paper
and
his
different
bottles
of
ink
.
Mary
shut
the
door
,
laid
the
documents
upon
her
table
,
and
sank
her
head
on
her
hands
.
Her
brain
was
curiously
empty
of
any
thought
.
She
listened
,
as
if
,
perhaps
,
by
listening
she
would
become
merged
again
in
the
atmosphere
of
the
office
.
From
the
next
room
came
the
rapid
spasmodic
sounds
of
Mrs.
Seal’s
erratic
typewriting
;
she
,
doubtless
,
was
already
hard
at
work
helping
the
people
of
England
,
as
Mr.
Clacton
put
it
,
to
think
rightly
;
“
generating
and
stimulating
,
”
those
were
his
words
.
She
was
striking
a
blow
against
the
enemy
,
no
doubt
,
who
didn’t
let
the
grass
grow
beneath
their
feet
.
Mr.
Clacton’s
words
repeated
themselves
accurately
in
her
brain
.
She
pushed
the
papers
wearily
over
to
the
farther
side
of
the
table
.
It
was
no
use
,
though
;
something
or
other
had
happened
to
her
brain
—
a
change
of
focus
so
that
near
things
were
indistinct
again
.
The
same
thing
had
happened
to
her
once
before
,
she
remembered
,
after
she
had
met
Ralph
in
the
gardens
of
Lincoln’s
Inn
Fields
;
she
had
spent
the
whole
of
a
committee
meeting
in
thinking
about
sparrows
and
colors
,
until
,
almost
at
the
end
of
the
meeting
,
her
old
convictions
had
all
come
back
to
her
.
But
they
had
only
come
back
,
she
thought
with
scorn
at
her
feebleness
,
because
she
wanted
to
use
them
to
fight
against
Ralph
.
They
weren’t
,
rightly
speaking
,
convictions
at
all
.
She
could
not
see
the
world
divided
into
separate
compartments
of
good
people
and
bad
people
,
any
more
than
she
could
believe
so
implicitly
in
the
rightness
of
her
own
thought
as
to
wish
to
bring
the
population
of
the
British
Isles
into
agreement
with
it
.
She
looked
at
the
lemon-colored
leaflet
,
and
thought
almost
enviously
of
the
faith
which
could
find
comfort
in
the
issue
of
such
documents
;
for
herself
she
would
be
content
to
remain
silent
for
ever
if
a
share
of
personal
happiness
were
granted
her
.
She
read
Mr.
Clacton’s
statement
with
a
curious
division
of
judgment
,
noting
its
weak
and
pompous
verbosity
on
the
one
hand
,
and
,
at
the
same
time
,
feeling
that
faith
,
faith
in
an
illusion
,
perhaps
,
but
,
at
any
rate
,
faith
in
something
,
was
of
all
gifts
the
most
to
be
envied
.
An
illusion
it
was
,
no
doubt
.
She
looked
curiously
round
her
at
the
furniture
of
the
office
,
at
the
machinery
in
which
she
had
taken
so
much
pride
,
and
marveled
to
think
that
once
the
copying-presses
,
the
card-index
,
the
files
of
documents
,
had
all
been
shrouded
,
wrapped
in
some
mist
which
gave
them
a
unity
and
a
general
dignity
and
purpose
independently
of
their
separate
significance
.
The
ugly
cumbersomeness
of
the
furniture
alone
impressed
her
now
.
Her
attitude
had
become
very
lax
and
despondent
when
the
typewriter
stopped
in
the
next
room
.
Mary
immediately
drew
up
to
the
table
,
laid
hands
on
an
unopened
envelope
,
and
adopted
an
expression
which
might
hide
her
state
of
mind
from
Mrs.
Seal
.
Some
instinct
of
decency
required
that
she
should
not
allow
Mrs.
Seal
to
see
her
face
.
Shading
her
eyes
with
her
fingers
,
she
watched
Mrs.
Seal
pull
out
one
drawer
after
another
in
her
search
for
some
envelope
or
leaflet
.
She
was
tempted
to
drop
her
fingers
and
exclaim
:
“
Do
sit
down
,
Sally
,
and
tell
me
how
you
manage
it
—
how
you
manage
,
that
is
,
to
bustle
about
with
perfect
confidence
in
the
necessity
of
your
own
activities
,
which
to
me
seem
as
futile
as
the
buzzing
of
a
belated
blue-bottle
.
”
She
said
nothing
of
the
kind
,
however
,
and
the
presence
of
industry
which
she
preserved
so
long
as
Mrs.
Seal
was
in
the
room
served
to
set
her
brain
in
motion
,
so
that
she
dispatched
her
morning’s
work
much
as
usual
.
At
one
o’clock
she
was
surprised
to
find
how
efficiently
she
had
dealt
with
the
morning
.
As
she
put
her
hat
on
she
determined
to
lunch
at
a
shop
in
the
Strand
,
so
as
to
set
that
other
piece
of
mechanism
,
her
body
,
into
action
.
With
a
brain
working
and
a
body
working
one
could
keep
step
with
the
crowd
and
never
be
found
out
for
the
hollow
machine
,
lacking
the
essential
thing
,
that
one
was
conscious
of
being
.
She
considered
her
case
as
she
walked
down
the
Charing
Cross
Road
.
She
put
to
herself
a
series
of
questions
.
Would
she
mind
,
for
example
,
if
the
wheels
of
that
motor-omnibus
passed
over
her
and
crushed
her
to
death
?
No
,
not
in
the
least
;
or
an
adventure
with
that
disagreeable-looking
man
hanging
about
the
entrance
of
the
Tube
station
?
No
;
she
could
not
conceive
fear
or
excitement
.
Did
suffering
in
any
form
appall
her
?
No
,
suffering
was
neither
good
nor
bad
.
And
this
essential
thing
?
In
the
eyes
of
every
single
person
she
detected
a
flame
;
as
if
a
spark
in
the
brain
ignited
spontaneously
at
contact
with
the
things
they
met
and
drove
them
on
.
The
young
women
looking
into
the
milliners’
windows
had
that
look
in
their
eyes
;
and
elderly
men
turning
over
books
in
the
second-hand
book-shops
,
and
eagerly
waiting
to
hear
what
the
price
was
—
the
very
lowest
price
—
they
had
it
,
too
.
But
she
cared
nothing
at
all
for
clothes
or
for
money
either
.
Books
she
shrank
from
,
for
they
were
connected
too
closely
with
Ralph
.
She
kept
on
her
way
resolutely
through
the
crowd
of
people
,
among
whom
she
was
so
much
of
an
alien
,
feeling
them
cleave
and
give
way
before
her
.
Strange
thoughts
are
bred
in
passing
through
crowded
streets
should
the
passenger
,
by
chance
,
have
no
exact
destination
in
front
of
him
,
much
as
the
mind
shapes
all
kinds
of
forms
,
solutions
,
images
when
listening
inattentively
to
music
.
From
an
acute
consciousness
of
herself
as
an
individual
,
Mary
passed
to
a
conception
of
the
scheme
of
things
in
which
,
as
a
human
being
,
she
must
have
her
share
.
She
half
held
a
vision
;
the
vision
shaped
and
dwindled
.
She
wished
she
had
a
pencil
and
a
piece
of
paper
to
help
her
to
give
a
form
to
this
conception
which
composed
itself
as
she
walked
down
the
Charing
Cross
Road
.
But
if
she
talked
to
any
one
,
the
conception
might
escape
her
.
Her
vision
seemed
to
lay
out
the
lines
of
her
life
until
death
in
a
way
which
satisfied
her
sense
of
harmony
.
It
only
needed
a
persistent
effort
of
thought
,
stimulated
in
this
strange
way
by
the
crowd
and
the
noise
,
to
climb
the
crest
of
existence
and
see
it
all
laid
out
once
and
for
ever
.
Already
her
suffering
as
an
individual
was
left
behind
her
.
Of
this
process
,
which
was
to
her
so
full
of
effort
,
which
comprised
infinitely
swift
and
full
passages
of
thought
,
leading
from
one
crest
to
another
,
as
she
shaped
her
conception
of
life
in
this
world
,
only
two
articulate
words
escaped
her
,
muttered
beneath
her
breath
—
“
Not
happiness
—
not
happiness
.
”
She
sat
down
on
a
seat
opposite
the
statue
of
one
of
London’s
heroes
upon
the
Embankment
,
and
spoke
the
words
aloud
.
To
her
they
represented
the
rare
flower
or
splinter
of
rock
brought
down
by
a
climber
in
proof
that
he
has
stood
for
a
moment
,
at
least
,
upon
the
highest
peak
of
the
mountain
.
She
had
been
up
there
and
seen
the
world
spread
to
the
horizon
.
It
was
now
necessary
to
alter
her
course
to
some
extent
,
according
to
her
new
resolve
.
Her
post
should
be
in
one
of
those
exposed
and
desolate
stations
which
are
shunned
naturally
by
happy
people
.
She
arranged
the
details
of
the
new
plan
in
her
mind
,
not
without
a
grim
satisfaction
.
“
Now
,
”
she
said
to
herself
,
rising
from
her
seat
,
“
I’ll
think
of
Ralph
.
”
Where
was
he
to
be
placed
in
the
new
scale
of
life
?
Her
exalted
mood
seemed
to
make
it
safe
to
handle
the
question
.
But
she
was
dismayed
to
find
how
quickly
her
passions
leapt
forward
the
