hadstarted
you
instead
of
your
starting
it
.
For
instance
,
I
had
been
very
thoroughly
into
the
question
of
the
One
Man
and
the
One
Woman
on
the
lake-boat
that
afternoon
.
It
would
have
appeared
that
,
having
so
satisfactorily
closed
the
question
,
I
ought
also
to
have
disposed
of
it
,
and
have
been
—
for
a
time
,
at
all
events
—
delivered
from
its
hauntings
.
But
it
was
not
so
,
it
was
not
so
.
I
might
have
closed
the
question
,
but
very
certainly
I
had
failed
to
dispose
of
it
.
I
had
relieved
my
feelings
in
a
sonnet
to
an
imaginary
Uniquely
Fair
One
,
in
the
small
hours
of
the
night
.
Yet
,
notwithstanding
this
drastic
remedy
—
the
metrical
difficulties
of
sonnet-construction
I
find
extremely
reducing
to
an
enkindled
imagination
,
no
wonder
this
particular
form
of
poetic
outcry
has
been
dear
to
the
distracted
lover
of
all
ages
—
I
discovered
next
morning
that
,
in
truth
,
the
question
still
retained
the
very
strongest
disposition
to
dispose
,
if
not
of
me
,
still
of
my
time
and
thought
.
I
loitered
on
the
verandah
after
breakfast
.
The
morning
was
positively
divine
,
the
air
having
just
that
hint
of
an
edge
to
it
which
agreeably
convinced
you
,
notwithstanding
the
heat
haze
dancing
over
the
brilliant
landscape
,
that
glaciers
and
snow-fields
were
after
all
within
easy
reach
.
And
that
edge
to
the
air
,
far
from
soothing
a
slightly
heated
fancy
,
is
liable
to
produce
des
éblouissements
and
provoke
a
feverish
restlessness
.
Across
the
startlingly
green
lawn
,
just
below
,
the
lithe
young
Russian
lady
of
the
scarlet
silk
blouse
and
black
pigtail
wandered
bare-headed
.
She
was
innocently
employed
in
picking
ox-eyed
daisies
and
clover
heads
from
among
the
grass
;
and
as
she
plucked
them
she
indulged
in
snatches
of
song
—
sad
with
the
sorrow
of
long
northern
winters
,
as
it
seemed
to
me
,
and
the
endless
monotony
of
the
Steppe
.
I
do
not
attempt
to
trace
out
the
association
of
ideas
.
It
may
have
been
a
revolt
against
the
melancholy
of
the
folk-song
;
it
may
have
been
an
effect
of
colour
—
vivid
scarlet
against
vivid
green
,
the
strong
note
of
black
—
heaven
forgive
me
if
I
begin
to
talk
like
an
art
critic
!
—
in
skirt
and
hair
,
affecting
my
brain
as
a
dram
might
;
it
may
have
been
a
certain
fierceness
in
the
action
of
the
fine-made
,
angular
figure
,
stooping
and
pulling
at
the
flowers
—
I
ca
n't
pretend
to
say
.
Suffice
it
that
my
soul
was
invaded
by
a
crazy
longing
to
live
,
to
give
myself
away
,
to
be
dangerous
.
I
went
back
upon
the
position
of
yesterday
;
and
it
was
borne
in
upon
me
—
it
has
often
been
so
before
—
that
I
am
but
a
paltry
creature
,
the
decadent
product
of
a
decadent
age
.
I
know
so
well
what
to
avoid
,
I
know
so
very
ill
what
to
do
.
I
fell
to
envying
Leversedge
his
diabolic
dog
;
Charlotte
Perry
the
courage
of
her
perversions
—
that
perhaps
is
the
best
way
of
stating
it
;
even
Perry
père
his
enthusiasm
for
the
Primrose
League
and
rich
enjoyment
of
the
enunciation
of
platitudes
;
even
Percy
Gerrard
his
inherent
grossness
.
Oh
!
to
be
positive
for
once
,
instead
of
tentative
merely
,
or
negative
!
When
candid
persons
tell
me
so
,
I
wish
,
of
course
,
to
beat
them
;
but
,
in
the
privacy
of
that
evil
quarter
of
an
hour
,
I
accused
myself
of
being
thin
;
and
Myself
answered
that
in
truth
I
was
,
morally
emotionally
,
and
in
respect
of
all
action
,
thin
,
very
lamentably
thin
indeed
.
And
just
when
I
was
touching
the
lowest
deep
of
this
unpleasant
,
but
,
no
doubt
,
salutary
depth
of
self-abasement
,
when
I
was
becoming
literally
flattened
out
by
the
heavy
weight
of
my
own
inadequacies
,
enter
unto
me
Mrs.
Perry
.
She
emerged
from
the
glass
doors
of
the
salon
rotund
and
beaming
.
“
Dear
me
now
,
Mr.
Hammond
,
”
she
exclaimed
,
“
this
is
what
I
really
do
call
a
piece
of
luck
.
I
have
been
so
wishing
all
the
morning
I
had
some
lady-friend
to
talk
it
all
over
with
;
and
you
see
I
have
nothing
but
acquaintances
here
,
and
I
never
can
get
over
the
feeling
it
is
n't
very
suitable
to
be
intimate
with
the
people
you
just
meet
travelling
.
You
see
,
you
do
n't
really
know
anything
about
them
,
nor
how
they
live
,
and
how
many
servants
they
keep
,
and
how
they
behave
at
home
.
It
's
so
easy
for
anybody
to
look
respectable
on
the
Continent
.
And
you
're
so
afraid
,
if
you
take
to
them
,
it
may
make
awkwardnesses
afterwards
,
are
n't
you
?
”
All
of
which
certainly
did
not
come
very
much
under
the
head
of
adventurous
and
vigorous
living
!
Failing
other
female
acquaintances
,
of
well-accredited
position
,
good
Mrs.
Perry
took
me
.
I
was
relegated
to
the
modest
position
of
the
safe
she-gossip
,
to
that
of
the
maiden
aunt
.
For
a
moment
the
Eternal
Masculine
in
me
—
for
the
Eternal
Masculine
does
exist
just
as
actually
as
the
Eternal
Feminine
,
though
it
happens
at
the
present
time
not
to
have
so
fashionable
a
notoriety
as
the
latter
—
arose
in
revolt
.
But
in
my
present
condition
of
self-abasement
,
it
rebelled
only
for
a
moment
.
I
had
fallen
very
low
in
my
own
estimation
.
I
was
almost
willing
to
regard
myself
as
nothing
better
than
an
example
of
infructuous
and
hoary
spinsterhood
.
“
You
have
always
taken
such
a
kind
interest
in
our
dear
young
people
,
”
she
continued
,
“
that
I
know
you
will
be
pleased
to
hear
everything
is
so
comfortably
settled
.
”
She
confronted
me
bridling
,
her
worthy
moon-face
suffused
with
smiles
.
But
,
unfortunately
,
the
searching
morning
light
did
not
suit
my
present
companion
as
well
as
the
scarlet-bloused
figure
that
had
been
my
late
inspiration
,
and
torment
.
Mrs.
Perry
's
matutinal
appearance
invariably
suggested
the
thought
that
she
was
wearing
out
her
last
year
's
Sunday
gown
.
The
present
example
of
that
economical
habit
was
green
;
enriched
by
steel
and
bugle
ornaments
,
notably
in
the
region
of
the
waist
,
where
they
took
the
form
of
strings
of
pendants
bearing
an
affinity
to
Papuan
full
dress
.
Her
grey
hair
,
smoothly
banded
on
the
brow
,
was
greenish
in
hue
from
the
too
lavish
application
of
some
adhesive
unguent
.
It
was
,
moreover
,
surmounted
by
a
lace
and
ribbon
cap
,
in
form
and
colour
curiously
resembling
a
poached
egg
.
What
remained
to
her
of
her
eyebrow
,
raised
to
a
permanently
surprised
height
,
pushed
her
forehead
up
into
innumerable
horizontal
lines
.
I
found
it
impossible
to
dislike
Mrs.
Perry
,
she
was
too
perfectly
simple
and
genuine
a
being
.
Yet
to
me
,
just
now
,
she
proved
confusing
,
for
the
tone
of
her
profoundly
insular
voice
,
her
comfortable
and
somewhat
uncontrolled
figure
,
even
the
last
few
words
she
had
spoken
,
recalled
irresistibly
to
my
mind
that
mysterious
functionary
,
the
monthly
nurse
,
whom
,
to
my
terror
,
I
meet
at
the
recurrent
christening
festivals
which
enliven
the
house
of
my
excellent
little
married
sister
.
Unable
to
divest
my
mind
of
this
association
of
ideas
,
I
answered
Mrs.
Perry
slightly
at
random
.
“
I
am
delighted
to
hear
it
.
I
am
to
understand
you
,
then
,
that
they
are
both
doing
very
well
?
”
“
Oh
,
very
well
,
”
Mrs.
Perry
replied
with
unction
.
“
Indeed
,
Mr.
Hammond
,
between
ourselves
,
I
think
Charlotte
's
a
very
fortunate
girl
,
for
Constantine
Leversedge
has
really
being
doing
better
than
could
have
been
expected
.
”
The
phrase
was
a
little
astonishing
;
but
I
retained
my
presence
of
mind
.
“
Good
news
upon
good
news
!
”
I
exclaimed
.
“
This
is
capital
.
”
“
So
it
is
;
and
I
am
sure
I
feel
very
thankful
,
and
so
does
Mr.
Perry
.
”
Her
eyebrows
aspired
still
higher
.
“
For
,
of
course
,
we
've
had
our
misgivings
at
times
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
You
see
,
we
lost
our
dear
little
boy
as
an
infant
.
So
she
's
our
only
child
.
”
The
tenderness
of
the
maternal
passion
found
quite
moving
expression
in
Mrs.
Perry
's
homely
countenance
.
“
And
being
so
remarkable
and
gifted
as
she
is
,
we
have
sometimes
wondered
whether
we
ought
to
let
things
go
on
.
Often
and
often
,
since
we
've
been
here
,
Mr.
Perry
's
woke
me
in
the
night
to
talk
about
it
—
specially
since
Mrs.
Mertyns
came
,
and
we
could
n't
help
seeing
what
an
interest
Mr.
Gerrard
took
in
Lottie
.
Mr.
Perry
's
a
dreadfully
poor
sleeper
when
he
has
anything
on
his
mind
.
I
am
sure
if
I
've
asked
him
once
,
I
've
asked
him
a
dozen
times
,
—
‘My
dear
,
what
does
make
you
so
restless
?
’
And
he
always
answers
,
—
‘Charlotte
's
marriage
,
Mamma
,
Charlotte
's
marriage
.
It
's
not
too
late
yet
to
interfere
.
She
must
not
be
permitted
to
throw
herself
away.’
”
“
A
most
proper
sentiment
on
the
part
of
your
husband
,
”
I
said
.
“
I
am
so
pleased
to
know
you
think
that
,
for
sometimes
I
have
been
afraid
Mr.
Perry
was
inclined
to
place
his
hopes
too
high
,
and
that
it
would
n't
bring
a
blessing
.
You
see
,
there
's
a
great
deal
said
about
not
taking
too
much
thought
in
the
Bible
,
and
—
I
daresay
it
is
because
I
do
n't
understand
very
quickly
—
these
new
translations
do
explain
a
great
many
of
those
difficulties
in
the
Gospels
,
they
tell
me
—
but
sometimes
I
was
frightened
lest
we
should
be
asking
too
much
for
Lottie
.
”
Here
Mrs.
Perry
placed
herself
in
a
chair
.
Hers
was
not
the
style
of
figure
which
can
be
described
as
gracefully
permitting
its
possessor
to
sit
down
.
I
cannot
pretend
that
Mrs.
Perry
was
classic
in
her
attitudes
.
She
invariably
sat
up
.
Her
smiles
had
waned
rather
beneath
the
disturbing
influences
of
biblical
criticism
—
now
they
shone
forth
again
.
“
Dear
me
!
”
she
exclaimed
,
“
how
pleasant
it
is
to
have
a
little
chat
!
Though
I
do
n't
know
that
I
ought
to
be
so
confidential
with
you
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
Only
,
as
I
say
,
you
've
always
taken
such
a
warm
interest
in
our
young
people
that
I
ca
n't
help
feeling
as
if
you
were
quite
one
of
ourselves
now
.
And
then
I
always
do
think
you
can
say
things
to
a
bachelor
like
you
,
you
could
n't
say
to
another
gentleman
.
And
you
're
older
,
you
see
,
”
she
added
,
heaping
Pelion
on
Ossa
in
the
matter
of
compliment
.
“
I
'm
sure
I
do
n't
know
how
I
should
have
felt
about
leaving
Charlotte
alone
the
other
night
—
particularly
after
what
they
told
me
afterwards
—
if
I
had
not
known
you
were
there
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
”
Mrs.
Perry
beamed
upon
me
while
thus
stabbing
me
.
I
seem
to
remember
as
a
small
boy
discerning
just
such
an
air
of
complete
and
candid
satisfaction
upon
the
face
of
the
hall
clock
,
in
our
house
at
Brighton
,
when
about
to
strike
the
dinner
hour
.
I
fear
I
was
a
greedy
child
,
and
may
therefore
have
transferred
the
sensation
of
satisfaction
resident
in
my
own
breast
to
the
face
of
the
clock
.
I
am
sadder
and
wiser
now
.
When
satisfactions
come
I
do
n't
transfer
them
.
They
are
too
rare
;
I
keep
them
for
myself
.
Therefore
I
was
very
sure
it
was
no
reflected
glory
which
now
illuminated
Mrs.
Perry
's
countenance
.
And
,
repressing
a
recurring
revolt
of
the
Eternal
Masculine
in
favour
of
the
gratification
of
curiosity
,
—
for
a
change
had
very
evidently
come
over
the
spirit
of
the
Perry-Leversedge
dream
since
yesterday
afternoon
,
—
I
sat
down
beside
Mrs.
Perry
and
tried
by
gentle
arts
to
induce
her
to
reveal
more
clearly
the
cause
of
jubilation
.
CHAPTER
V
“
WELL
,
you
see
,
”
said
she
,
“
what
Mr.
Perry
felt
was
that
Charlotte
's
marriage
did
not
explain
itself
.
I
should
have
thought
if
the
young
people
loved
each
other
that
was
explanation
enough
.
I
am
sure
when
Mr.
Perry
and
I
were
engaged
,
our
friends
took
for
granted
that
was
explanation
enough
,
and
so
did
dear
father
and
mother
too
.
But
things
move
on
so
fast
nowadays
,
Mr.
Hammond
,
I
'm
sure
I
never
quite
know
where
I
am
—
”
Mrs.
Perry
sighed
.
“
You
are
not
alone
.
The
pace
is
hot
,
and
the
Time-Spirit
leaves
many
of
us
somewhat
breathless
,
”
I
remarked
.
My
companion
probably
knew
as
much
about
the
Zeitgeist
as
about
the
theory
of
Palingenesis
;
but
Mrs.
Perry
had
a
gracious
habit
of
taking
the
will
for
the
deed
.
She
comprehended
that
my
intention
was
consolation
,
she
was
therefore
—
in
a
measure
,
at
all
events
—
consoled
.
“
Yes
,
to
be
sure
,
”
she
replied
;
“
and
Mr.
Perry
has
kept
on
saying
to
me
,
‘We
owe
it
to
ourselves
,
Susan
,
and
we
owe
it
to
Charlotte
's
very
charming
and
cultivated
circle
of
acquaintance
,
to
show
a
really
solid
reason
,
to
show
sufficient
cause
—
’
”
(
Ah
!
shade
of
M
.
de
Voltaire
!
)
“
For
Mr.
Perry
always
pointed
out
—
though
I
never
could
quite
understand
why
being
clever
should
make
so
much
difference
—
that
in
the
case
of
such
a
talented
girl
as
Charlotte
,
her
friends
would
n't
recognise
affection
as
very
much
of
a
reason
.
It
seems
a
pity
,
does
n't
it
?
”
“
So
it
does
.
Ten
thousand
pities
,
”
I
rejoined
very
cordially
.
The
good
woman
beamed
again
.
“
Dear
me
,
with
all
your
nice
feelings
—
if
it
is
n't
too
intimate
to
mention
it
—
it
does
seem
a
loss
you
ai
n't
married
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
There
must
be
plenty
of
young
ladies
who
would
be
so
very
willing
,
you
know
—
indeed
,
I
've
more
than
once
thought
—
if
it
had
n't
been
decided
long
ago
—
Mr.
Perry
and
I
—
for
there
's
no
one
I
've
seen
for
a
long
while
I
've
taken
so
to
—
but
then
it
is
all
decided
,
you
see
—
and
—
”
I
laid
my
hand
on
the
arm
of
my
companion
's
chair
.
I
regarded
her
,
as
I
believe
,
with
an
air
of
delicately
mingled
gratitude
and
restraint
,
for
this
was
the
very
last
road
I
wished
to
travel
down
with
Mrs.
Perry
.
“
It
is
all
decided
,
”
I
repeated
.
“
And
so
,
as
to
these
settlements
?
”
“
Ah
yes
,
—
I
'm
sure
I
shall
always
remember
you
as
a
very
kind
friend
after
to-day
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
Well
,
when
he
'd
seen
the
will
,
Mr.
Perry
said
to
me
directly
—
and
I
was
rather
nervous
Constantine
overheard
,
but
then
he
's
very
sensible
,
I
do
n't
think
he
's
at
all
sensitive
like
some
young
men
might
be
,
—
he
said
to
me
,
‘It
all
lies
here
,
Mamma
,
it
all
lies
here
!
Everyone
will
admit
this
really
fine
income
explains
Charlotte
's
choice.’
”
“
Unquestionably
wealth
explains
much
to
the
mind
of
the
modern
world
,
”
I
remarked
.
“
I
am
very
pleased
you
agree
with
Mr.
Perry
,
”
she
said
,
with
great
cheerfulness
.
“
I
'll
tell
him
you
think
Charlotte
's
friends
will
be
satisfied
;
and
I
ca
n't
help
hoping
that
may
make
him
less
excited
than
he
has
been
lately
.
He
is
so
very
tenacious
about
her
friends
being
satisfied
.
”
After
all
,
what
is
truth
that
we
should
be
so
desperately
anxious
to
speak
it
?
Absolute
truth
became
unattainable
,
in
all
probability
,
many
thousand
centuries
ago
.
Very
distantly
approximate
truth
is
the
utmost
we
can
hope
to
arrive
at
in
our
present
state
of
lamentable
over-development
,
when
the
mist
of
unnumbered
opinions
has
obscured
every
conceivable
question
of
human
conduct
and
of
human
relation
.
Is
not
the
mere
attempt
to
speak
it
,
perhaps
,
a
refined
form
of
spiritual
pride
and
self-seeking
?
Better
,
I
think
,
rub
a
little
emollient
ointment
of
passing
peace
upon
the
soul
of
the
brother
or
sister
who
happens
to
be
nearest
you
,
by
endeavouring
to
take
whatever
view
of
things
—
not
actually
criminal
—
you
perceive
will
yield
them
solace
,
however
fleeting
.
So
I
begged
Mrs.
Perry
to
regard
me
as
the
mouthpiece
of
the
social
gods
;
and
bade
her
rest
assured
those
high
and
holy
divinities
would
unanimously
applaud
the
wisdom
of
her
daughter
's
choice
,
if
the
fortune
Leversedge
possessed
,
and
the
settlements
he
made
,
were
really
handsome
.
“
And
they
really
are
handsome
?
”
I
inquired
.
“
They
seem
so
to
me
,
”
she
answered
.
“
But
then
,
Mr.
Perry
and
I
had
n't
much
to
begin
on
at
first
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
We
were
in
a
very
small
way
.
He
used
to
repeat
beautiful
lines
about
love
in
a
cottage
,
which
afforded
the
greatest
pleasure
to
dear
mother
and
father
.
I
'm
sure
I
can
hear
her
kiss
me
now
,
upon
my
wedding-morning
,
just
when
she
had
done
lacing
my
dress
—
it
was
very
becoming
to
the
figure
,
but
a
very
inconvenient
fashion
,
those
day-dresses
lacing
up
behind
—
and
say
to
me
,
—
‘Thank
God
,
Susie
,
you
will
have
that
in
your
husband
which
is
better
than
riches
,
for
Joseph
has
a
truly
good
heart.’
”
She
paused
,
blushed
a
little
,
and
her
bosom
heaved
ominously
.
Ah
,
well
,
happy
is
the
woman
who
has
had
her
romance
,
even
if
it
take
the
rat-like
form
of
a
Joseph
Perry
!
I
respectfully
averted
my
eyes
until
such
time
as
my
companion
should
have
recovered
from
too
acute
memories
of
those
early
enchantments
,
and
they
lighted
upon
the
wearer
of
the
scarlet
blouse
,
reclining
on
the
grass
at
the
foot
of
a
grey-green
stemmed
tulip
tree
.
One
of
the
debilitated
young
Russians
stood
before
her
haranguing
her
with
impassioned
gestures
.
Evidently
she
disagreed
with
him
;
and
disagreement
,
so
far
,
took
the
form
of
a
silence
quite
hugely
provoking
.
I
watched
them
,
I
turned
back
to
Mrs.
Perry
.
That
man
,
at
least
,
touched
something
very
like
absolute
truth
who
declared
“
it
takes
all
sorts
to
make
a
world
.
”
“
But
of
course
I
was
very
different
to
Charlotte
,
”
my
innocent
companion
continued
.
“
I
had
not
her
requirements
.
I
did
n't
mind
makeshifts
—
”
She
laughed
a
little
apologetically
.
“
Between
ourselves
,
I
do
n't
mind
them
much
now
.
They
make
me
feel
easy
.
But
they
do
n't
make
Charlotte
easy
;
they
seem
to
mortify
her
,
and
she
points
things
out
to
me
—
her
standard
of
taste
is
very
high
.
And
I
should
be
the
last
person
to
undervalue
that
,
still
sometimes
I
do
find
it
a
little
tiring
.
You
see
,
you
never
do
quite
get
over
the
way
you
were
brought
up
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
And
I
do
seem
to
have
so
many
things
to
remember
,
people
never
troubled
about
when
I
was
young
,
that
when
I
have
got
hold
of
one
I
am
pretty
sure
to
forget
some
other
;
and
,
of
course
,
I
know
that
must
be
mortifying
to
Charlotte
and
her
father
.
”
“
Alas
!
we
must
all
pay
the
penalties
of
progress
,
my
dear
lady
,
”
I
said
,
I
trust
not
too
abominably
sententiously
.
“
I
suppose
we
must
”
—
Mrs
.
Perry
sighed
.
“
Still
,
it
's
a
very
troubling
thing
to
feel
what
you
do
is
a
subject
of
mortification
to
others
.
Sometimes
it
makes
me
dreadfully
low-spirited
.
I
do
try
to
feel
it
's
just
the
cross
that
is
laid
upon
me
,
Mr.
Hammond
;
and
to
count
the
many
undeserved
blessings
I
have
to
set
against
it
.
”
Simplicity
is
disarming
.
“
I
am
sure
you
do
,
”
I
replied
in
tones
of
the
sincerest
conviction
.
“
And
among
the
blessings
we
are
evidently
to
count
these
same
settlements
.
Tell
me
about
them
,
if
it
is
not
indiscreet
to
do
so
.
I
am
profoundly
curious
in
the
matter
.
”
“
Well
,
yes
,
I
'm
sure
you
are
;
and
I
do
n't
think
it
is
indiscreet
with
you
—
at
least
,
if
it
is
,
I
believe
I
can
trust
you
not
to
mention
it
,
because
I
think
you
are
one
of
those
who
really
do
like
to
give
pleasure
,
and
naturally
you
see
it
's
a
great
pleasure
to
me
to
have
a
little
chat
over
it
all
.
And
,
you
know
,
I
would
n't
say
a
single
word
for
anything
,
but
I
had
been
told
something
,
and
,
the
consequence
was
,
dear
Charlotte
and
I
did
fall
out
a
little
yesterday
.
Mr.
Perry
took
her
away
on
the
lake
afterwards
.
I
daresay
he
acted
all
for
the
best
,
but
I
felt
rather
hurt
,
you
know
.
I
daresay
I
had
been
over
anxious
.
But
she
keeps
it
up
—
Charlotte
does
keep
things
up
a
little
sometimes
.
She
's
been
distant
with
me
this
morning
even
,
so
that
I
have
n't
been
able
to
have
a
nice
comfortable
gossip
with
her
over
it
all
as
it
would
seem
suitable
I
should
have
.
”
“
All
that
will
come
later
,
dear
Mrs.
Perry
,
”
I
asserted
.
“
Just
now
your
daughter
is
of
necessity
slightly
self-absorbed
,
slightly
distraite
.
Surely
you
can
recall
a
kindred
state
of
mind
under
kindred
circumstances
—
on
the
eve
of
your
own
marriage
?
”
“
I
'm
sure
I
do
n't
know
.
I
am
afraid
I
cried
a
great
deal
at
leaving
mother
—
though
I
would
n't
have
given
up
Joseph
—
Mr.
Perry
,
I
mean
—
on
any
account
.
Charlotte
does
n't
ever
cry
—
she
never
has
been
given
to
crying
since
she
was
a
child
,
you
know
.
And
I
suppose
I
ought
n't
to
want
her
to
.
But
then
Charlotte
and
I
are
very
different
.
My
tears
always
came
easily
.
”
“
Self-control
is
the
order
of
the
day
,
”
I
rejoined
.
“
And
as
to
these
settlements
,
if
you
will
pardon
my
importunity
?
”
“
I
am
afraid
I
do
wander
,
”
Mrs.
Perry
said
humbly
.
“
They
often
tell
me
so
.
But
,
you
see
,
I
have
had
so
much
on
my
mind
,
and
Mr.
Perry
has
been
very
excitable
,
—
really
at
times
—
let
me
see
,
he
gives
her
—
I
mean
Constantine
does
—
a
thousand
a
year
for
her
separate
use
;
that
does
seem
to
me
very
handsome
.
I
'm
sure
I
do
n't
know
what
she
can
find
to
spend
it
on
.
I
said
to
her
she
ought
to
put
away
more
than
half
against
a
rainy
day
.
But
Constantine
laughed
—
he
has
a
very
free
,
pleasant
laugh
has
Constantine
.
But
I
do
n't
feel
quite
easy
about
him
.
He
looks
very
pulled
and
worn
to
me
.
I
should
n't
like
to
think
he
'd
anything
on
his
mind
,
Mr.
Hammond
;
but
in
those
foreign
places
young
men
do
lead
very
wild
lives
sometimes
,
I
'm
afraid
.
”
“
Take
my
word
for
it
,
Leversedge
is
a
jewel
of
gold
,
Mrs.
Perry
,
”
I
asserted
warmly
.
“
Well
,
I
am
sure
I
have
often
wished
to
ask
you
,
only
it
did
n't
seem
a
proper
thing
to
do
.
But
just
now
it
popped
out
before
I
could
help
it
.
And
,
of
course
,
one
does
hear
very
sad
stories
now
and
then
.
But
I
suppose
it
's
just
his
health
then
,
the
change
,
coming
away
from
those
very
hot
climates
and
everything
.
I
think
he
wants
care
,
and
I
am
sure
I
should
be
very
pleased
to
give
it
him
.
I
often
wish
to
make
him
nice
little
things
to
take
,
and
look
after
his
linen
.
If
there
's
anything
that
goes
to
my
heart
it
's
that
a
young
man
should
have
to
sew
on
his
own
tapes
and
buttons
.
But
I
am
always
afraid
he
might
resent
anything
like
that
as
a
liberty
.
Of
course
,
there
's
so
much
a
person
of
my
age
can
do
for
a
gentleman
that
would
n't
be
suitable
from
a
younger
person
.
Perhaps
when
Charlotte
's
married
I
may
seem
to
get
nearer
to
him
.
”
Mrs.
Perry
clasped
and
unclasped
her
hands
nervously
,
upon
that
which
had
been
her
waist
.
“
It
was
a
dreadful
thing
to
lose
our
baby
,
Mr.
Hammond
,
”
she
said
.
“
I
always
wished
for
a
son
,
and
though
I
did
pray
to
be
kept
from
being
rebellious
,
I
am
afraid
I
have
been
envious
of
other
women
when
I
saw
them
with
nice
little
boys
of
their
own
.
His
dying
seemed
to
leave
me
with
a
sort
of
emptiness
;
and
I
have
felt
lately
as
if
Constantine
—
or
any
husband
Charlotte
had
,
because
,
of
course
,
she
might
have
married
otherwise
—
might
come
to
fill
it
,
if
I
could
only
get
near
him
,
you
know
.
”
The
lady
of
the
scarlet
silk
blouse
had
arisen
from
her
couch
upon
the
grass
.
She
came
slowly
from
under
the
dancing
shade
of
the
tulip-tree
,
and
,
passing
with
her
companion
along
the
sunny
path
,
paused
at
the
foot
of
the
flight
of
steps
below
us
.
On
either
hand
were
wide
beds
of
dwarf
roses
—
pink
,
yellow
,
and
red
.
Behind
lay
the
long
,
downward
slope
of
the
great
lawn
to
the
alley
by
the
shore
—
in
which
sauntered
some
ladies
of
our
company
,
clothed
in
light
summer
dresses
—
overshadowed
by
poplars
,
chestnuts
,
and
willows
,
between
whose
stems
glittered
the
intense
blue
of
the
lake
.
The
young
woman
had
taken
up
her
parable
now
,
and
the
purrings
and
spittings
of
her
curiously
agitating
Russian
speech
were
as
arresting
to
the
attention
as
her
vigorous
angular
gestures
.
My
thoughts
,
I
am
ashamed
to
say
,
wandered
.
I
did
not
hear
the
beginning
of
good
Mrs.
Perry
's
next
remarks
.
“
—
in
case
of
his
death
—
and
I
know
it
's
wicked
,
Mr.
Hammond
,
but
I
do
so
dislike
death
;
—
‘I
leave
to
my
wife
Charlotte
,
absolutely
,
all
I
die
possessed
of
,
’
it
said
,
—
I
mean
,
the
will
said
.
”
“
Yes
!
that
is
liberal
,
”
I
exclaimed
,
half
involuntarily
.
Poor
Leversedge
,
there
were
no
reservations
,
no
half
measures
in
his
dealing
,
anyhow
.
Such
as
his
life
was
,
he
lived
it
to
the
full
.
“
So
it
is
,
”
Mrs.
Perry
agreed
;
“
I
really
do
n't
see
how
it
could
be
more
so
.
And
there
seems
to
be
a
great
deal
to
leave
in
stocks
and
shares
,
and
railways
and
land
and
mines
,
and
so
on
.
I
did
n't
attempt
to
tot
it
up
,
for
I
felt
a
little
overcome
,
you
know
;
but
Mr.
Perry
ran
through
it
all
in
no
time
—
Joseph
always
has
been
very
noted
for
rapid
calculation
—
and
,
of
course
,
I
know
his
face
so
well
,
after
all
these
years
,
I
could
tell
in
an
instant
.
Too
,
he
did
say
to
me
,
‘princely
,
positively
princely
,
’
under
his
breath
,
so
I
knew
it
must
be
something
quite
above
the
average
,
and
that
we
all
had
reason
to
be
very
thankful
.
Still
,
I
do
wish
nothing
had
been
said
about
death
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
”
I
pointed
out
at
some
length
,
and
with
,
I
trust
,
the
utmost
mildness
,
that
the
question
of
death
has
a
frequent
habit
of
entering
into
the
question
of
a
will
.
“
I
suppose
it
has
,
”
Mrs.
Perry
said
.
“
All
the
same
,
it
does
seem
a
very
shocking
thing
for
a
young
man
like
Constantine
to
be
occupied
about
just
when
he
's
going
to
be
married
.
Of
course
,
it
was
very
foolish
,
but
it
gave
me
a
dreadful
turn
.
It
seemed
somehow
to
bring
back
these
last
days
when
we
lost
our
dear
little
boy
;
I
am
sure
I
do
n't
know
why
,
for
Constantine
is
a
grown
man
,
and
he
was
an
infant
.
But
I
seemed
to
feel
as
if
poor
Charlotte
was
a
widow
before
she
was
a
wife
,
for
the
minute
,
if
it
is
n't
too
familiar
to
say
so
,
and
that
's
enough
to
give
anybody
a
turn
,
Mr
Hammond
,
do
n't
you
think
so
?
”
CHAPTER
VI
DECIDEDLY
the
middle
class
should
avoid
high
spirits
.
As
a
condition
of
mind
and
body
,
high
spirits
are
questionably
becoming
,
even
in
the
young
and
noble
;
while
in
persons
of
mature
age
and
unexalted
,
though
maybe
respectable
,
station
,
they
are
liable
to
degenerate
into
that
which
is
really
very
terrible
indeed
.
All
this
was
borne
in
upon
me
forcibly
during
the
ensuing
five
minutes
.
“
Mamma
!
—
where
is
Mrs.
Perry
?
Mamma
!
”
And
,
as
so
frequently
,
in
urgent
pursuit
of
a
missing
member
of
his
family
,
Perry
père
chased
along
the
terrace
below
.
Regardless
of
the
evident
fervour
of
their
conversation
,
I
beheld
him
draw
up
before
the
two
Russians
,
raise
the
grey
felt
hat
with
its
streaming
pugaree
,
and
inquire
—
Mr.
Perry
invariably
appeared
to
entertain
the
idea
that
all
foreigners
are
afflicted
with
deafness
,
so
he
bawled
the
said
inquiry
,
smiling
the
while
with
a
sort
of
voracious
intensity
—
“
Pardon
,
mademoiselle
,
pray
excuse
me
—
mais
avez
vous
vu
Madame
Perry
?
Savez
vous
où
elle
est
,
où
est
,
enfin
,
ma
femme
?
”
The
young
lady
looked
round
in
very
evident
surprise
.
Then
her
eyes
lighted
on
me
.
And
their
expression
was
not
without
malice
,
as
she
extended
her
hand
in
the
direction
of
the
verandah
with
a
sweeping
gesture
,
which
had
the
effect
of
enclosing
Mrs.
Perry
and
myself
,
of
framing
us
for
ever
side
by
side
.
“
Mais
la
voilà
,
monsieur
,
”
she
said
.
“
La
voilà
avèc
monsieur
son
ámi
.
”
“
Ah
!
ha
!
I
see
,
"
cried
Mr.
Perry
gaily
.
“
Mille
fois
merci
,
mademoiselle
.
”
And
,
dragging
on
a
pair
of
purplish-brown
kid
gloves
,
he
hurried
up
the
steps
.
“
I
see
,
”
he
cried
,
shaking
his
two
fingers
archly
,
“
I
see
.
A
sly
flirtation
with
mamma
.
Naughty
,
very
naughty
,
—
Billing
and
cooing
together
they
sat
,
Quite
unaware
they
were
watched
by
the
cat
.
”
I
am
not
naturally
of
a
bloodthirsty
disposition
,
but
there
are
hours
when
the
mildest
men
become
as
furies
.
I
could
have
massacred
Perry
père
just
then
.
An
application
of
the
wheel
,
the
rack
,
the
boot
,
or
the
thumb-screw
would
have
given
me
rapture
.
I
could
have
roasted
him
at
a
slow
fire
without
a
movement
of
compassion
.
All
the
more
so
,
that
I
perceived
her
knowledge
of
the
English
language
was
quite
sufficient
to
give
the
lady
of
the
red
silk
blouse
a
strong
sense
of
the
inglorious
comedy
of
my
position
.
To
kill
is
well
.
To
be
offended
is
often
undignified
,
and
always
silly
.
It
is
not
in
my
power
to
kill
,
so
I
smiled
benignly
upon
Mr.
Perry
,
and
did
my
possible
to
meet
him
in
a
Christian
spirit
.
“
Yes
,
”
I
said
,
“
Mrs.
Perry
has
been
more
than
kind
,
and
we
have
had
a
,
to
me
,
delightful
little
talk
.
I
congratulate
you
.
I
have
been
hearing
capital
news
.
”
“
Ah
!
ha
!
I
understand
,
”
he
replied
.
“
She
could
not
keep
it
to
herself
—
The
brimming
pitcher
sure
will
overflow
,
And
spill
the
ruby
liquor
on
the
thirsty
soil
below
.
Well
,
well
,
I
own
there
are
excuses
for
a
tendency
to
garrulity
on
the
part
of
some
of
us
this
morning
!
A
difficult
chapter
in
our
family
annals
is
happily
concluded
;
a
period
of
anxiety
is
past
;
a
shadow
is
,
as
one
may
say
,
lifted
from
our
parental
hearts
.
But
I
trust
,
my
love
,
you
have
not
exaggerated
?
”
he
added
,
in
sterner
and
more
judicial
accents
.
“
I
would
not
have
a
false
impression
created
.
We
must
not
make
too
much
of
it
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
”
“
Indeed
,
there
appears
to
be
a
most
agreeably
heavy
amount
to
make
much
of
,
”
I
remarked
.
“
An
elegant
competence
,
”
Mr.
Perry
said
airily
,
—
“
an
elegant
competence
.
Our
daughter
will
be
in
a
position
to
gratify
her
literary
and
artistic
tastes
,
to
entertain
her
circle
of
friends
in
becoming
style
,
and
take
that
place
in
London
society
for
which
,
as
I
at
once
proudly
and
gratefully
asseverate
,
her
talents
so
eminently
fit
her
.
This
is
the
reward
of
my
fostering
care
.
I
recognise
it
.
Yes
,
yes
,
I
own
to-day
you
see
in
me
a
happy
father
,
and
a
very
nice
thing
that
is
to
see
,
I
'm
sure
.
But
now
to
business
—
my
love
,
I
am
on
my
way
to
the
boat
.
I
mentioned
to
Charlotte
,
and
she
agreed
with
me
,
that
after
the
flattering
sympathy
—
really
most
flattering
to
all
of
us
as
a
family
—
which
she
has
exhibited
,
it
was
only
due
to
Mrs.
Mertyns
that
she
should
be
early
acquainted
with
the
rosy
hue
which
now
,
as
I
may
say
,
flushes
our
daughter
's
future
.
There
have
been
moments
,
”
said
Mr.
Perry
darkly
,
drawing
himself
up
and
addressing
me
,
—
“
as
our
charming
friend
Mrs.
Mertyns
well
knows
—
only
yesterday
—
but
let
that
pass
.
I
will
not
dwell
on
fears
once
entertained
.
Hope
has
now
taken
their
place
.
—
Yes
,
Mr.
Hammond
,
our
dear
children
will
enjoy
a
very
pretty
little
fortune
—
Gold
,
much
red
gold
,
shall
grace
these
nuptials
And
cement
the
basis
of
domestic
joys
.
”
“
Well
,
I
am
very
willing
Mrs.
Mertyns
should
know
,
”
Mrs.
Perry
responded
.
“
I
thought
of
writing
home
myself
to
my
cousins
,
and
dear
Aunt
Trumbull
at
Brixton
.
They
've
always
been
very
true
to
me
,
and
—
”
“
Quite
so
,
quite
so
,
my
dear
—
and
therefore
Charlotte
has
penned
a
brief
note
,
and
has
commissioned
me
to
be
the
bearer
of
it
.
I
have
it
here
”
—
he
tapped
the
breast-pocket
of
his
coat
.
“
Yes
,
Mr.
Hammond
,
without
seeking
to
obtrude
myself
,
I
may
just
hint
that
practical
experience
has
given
me
a
not
contemptible
knowledge
of
such
matters
,
and
I
have
much
pleasure
in
testifying
to
the
excellent
business
capacity
of
our
future
son-in-law
.
Leversedge
has
done
well
,
remarkably
well
,
considering
his
age
and
opportunities
.
I
could
wish
he
had
displayed
less
reticence
regarding
the
amount
of
his
income
.
Clear
information
under
that
head
would
have
spared
us
many
anxious
hours
,
—
would
n't
it
,
Mamma
?
”
“
Leversedge
is
admirably
modest
,
”
I
said
parenthetically
.
This
remark
produced
a
really
extraordinary
expression
of
reflective
wisdom
on
the
part
of
Mr.
Perry
.
He
meditated
visibly
,
as
visibly
roused
himself
from
meditation
.
“
Most
true
,
”
he
replied
.
“
I
yield
to
no
one
in
my
appreciation
of
our
dear
boy
Constantine
—
Mamma
will
bear
me
out
in
that
.
But
,
as
one
of
our
greatest
poets
observes
,
—
Let
not
your
modesty
outrun
discretion
Lest
,
falling
from
fair
favour
to
contempt
,
You
mask
a
greater
by
a
lesser
good
.
And
there
has
been
a
touch
of
secretiveness
,
a
hint
,
perhaps
,
—
though
far
be
it
from
me
to
be
harsh
,
—
of
that
pride
which
apes
humility
in
Constantine
's
attitude
.
”
“
To
be
sure
,
I
never
thought
of
him
as
proud
now
,
”
interposed
Mrs.
Perry
.
“
Ah
!
ah
!
my
love
,
public
life
,
the
rub
of
the
world
—
eh
,
Mr.
Hammond
?
—
teaches
us
men
to
read
men
—
yes
,
very
shrewdly
indeed
,
to
read
them
.
”
“
It
does
n't
prevent
most
of
you
making
mistakes
over
women
,
though
,
sometimes
,
”
the
good
creature
said
quite
sharply
.
Then
she
repented
,
and
looked
very
mildly
at
her
husband
.
—
“
So
you
're
going
up
by
the
boat
then
,
Joseph
,
”
she
added
.
The
fashion
of
a
rat
had
become
very
apparent
in
Mr.
Perry
,
but
he
controlled
himself
.
Perhaps
he
meant
to
speak
to
Mrs.
Perry
quietly
alone
afterwards
.
This
is
one
of
the
advantages
of
matrimony
;
let
us
be
fair
to
that
much-canvassed
institution
;
—
it
gives
excellent
opportunities
for
the
private
,
unwitnessed
adjustment
of
small
differences
.
“
Yes
,
yes
,
”
he
cried
,
—
“
With
thee
,
my
bark
,
I
swiftly
speed
Across
the
foaming
brine
—
call
on
Mrs.
Mertyns
;
communicate
the
information
,
which
I
am
convinced
she
will
cordially
welcome
,
and
return
here
in
time
for
the
midday
meal
,
unless
she
should
ask
me
to
remain
.
I
do
not
think
I
could
very
well
refuse
,
you
know
.
I
think
we
owe
it
to
Mrs.
Mertyns
to
accept
any
invitation
of
hers
.
You
will
not
therefore
feel
anxious
,
my
love
,
should
my
return
be
delayed
.
Make
my
apologies
to
our
end
of
the
table
.
”
Here
Mr.
Perry
struggled
violently
,
almost
showily
,
for
all
his
playfulness
had
returned
,
with
the
fingers
of
his
kid
gloves
.
“
Oblige
me
by
holding
my
umbrella
,
Mamma
,
while
I
reduce
these
offenders
to
order
.
New
?
Yes
,
Mr.
Hammond
;
and
they
are
a
little
wayward
,
a
little
,
as
I
may
say
,
recalcitrant
.
Patience
,
always
patience
—
even
the
trivialities
of
existence
call
that
godlike
virtue
into
exercise
at
times
.
—
Which
reminds
me
of
what
I
was
saying
to
Constantine
just
now
,
and
I
am
convinced
you
will
endorse
it
.
A
fortune
must
not
only
be
made
,
it
must
be
guarded
,
be
increased
.
Is
there
,
indeed
,
any
reason
why
it
should
not
be
doubled
?
A
wife
,
as
I
pointed
out
to
him
(
for
it
is
only
prudent
to
reckon
with
these
little
possible
accidents
beforehand
)
,
not
infrequently
implies
a
family
.
It
is
therefore
his
duty
not
to
relax
his
efforts
.
Children
are
costly
commodities
in
these
days
,
extremely
costly
.
Let
him
therefore
look
forward
,
and
continue
to
apply
himself
to
business
.
As
I
told
him
,
neither
Mrs.
Perry
nor
myself
would
ever
stand
in
his
way
,
if
the
state
of
his
affairs
pointed
to
the
desirability
of
his
taking
a
three
or
six
months
'
trip
to
the
southern
confines
of
the
Dark
Continent
.
During
his
absence
,
his
home
should
be
ours
.
With
perfect
security
he
could
leave
his
Charlotte
under
the
protection
of
her
natural
guardians
.
Mamma
and
I
would
join
her
at
her
house
in
town
at
any
moment
.
Ah
,
and
that
reminds
me
,
we
must
consult
you
upon
a
knotty
point
,
—
a
knotty
point
,
Mr.
Hammond
!
In
favour
of
which
locality
is
your
vote
given
?
Where
shall
they
reside
?
Mamma
inclines
to
the
north
side
of
the
park
;
eh
,
my
love
?
But
I
maintain
she
is
in
error
.
A
young
ménage
should
be
en
evidence
.
So
give
me
Mayfair
or
Belgravia
,
”
exclaimed
Mr.
Perry
daringly
,
“
for
preference
,
Belgravia
.
”
“
Well
,
I
always
shall
say
people
are
much
more
neighbourly
in
the
suburbs
or
out
Bayswater
way
than
down
in
the
squares
,
”
Mrs.
Perry
asserted
,
with
a
certain
mild
obstinacy
.
“
Neighbourly
!
”
cried
her
husband
,
as
he
might
have
cried
‘murder.’
“
My
dear
,
there
are
social
distinctions
which
I
fear
your
mind
will
never
—
here
,
give
me
,
if
you
please
,
my
umbrella
.
”
The
chunking
sound
of
the
engines
of
the
approaching
lake-boat
claimed
the
speaker
's
attention
and
restored
his
good
humour
.
“
Farewell
,
”
he
added
—
“
I
must
away
.
Remember
,
I
may
be
detained
.
I
may
be
unable
to
join
you
at
déjeûner
.
Your
kindest
regards
,
I
am
sure
,
to
our
charming
friends
,
Mr.
Hammond
.
”
And
,
with
flying
pugaree
and
waving
umbrella
,
he
fled
down
the
steps
and
across
the
sunny
lawn
in
the
direction
of
the
panting
steamer
.
In
even
the
best
trained
wives
,
the
most
thoroughly
domesticated
—
as
the
advertisements
put
it
—
of
women
,
domesticity
will
wear
a
trifle
thread-bare
now
and
again
.
Mrs.
Perry
adjusted
her
cap
,
around
the
lace
and
ribbons
of
which
the
wind
had
frolicked
somewhat
too
freely
,
with
dignity
.
“
You
see
,
Mr.
Perry
is
rather
excited
,
”
she
said
.
“
I
suppose
everybody
forgets
themselves
sometimes
under
excitement
,
and
of
course
he
has
been
very
troubled
about
Charlotte
's
future
,
and
now
that
everything
's
so
comfortably
settled
he
feels
the
—
”
She
so
evidently
searched
about
for
a
word
that
I
suggested
“
reaction
.
”
“
Yes
,
reaction
.
That
's
just
it
,
and
thank
you
.
And
I
am
sure
I
shall
always
be
grateful
to
you
for
our
pleasant
chat
,
and
for
letting
me
be
so
confidential
.
”
She
executed
a
movement
as
of
rising
from
her
chair
.
“
Permit
me
,
”
I
said
,
offering
my
hand
as
a
pulley
.
I
experienced
a
sensation
of
dead
weight
,
followed
—
Mrs.
Perry
being
on
her
feet
—
by
one
of
the
most
affectionate
pressure
.
She
had
a
motherly
hand
,
and
a
motherly
hand
is
still
among
the
dearest
things
of
experience
,
by
whoever
possessed
,
even
when
one
acknowledges
to
the
fatal
age
of
forty
.
“
My
dear
lady
,
”
I
repeated
,
“
the
gratitude
should
be
mine
.
I
am
honoured
by
your
confidence
in
me
.
”
She
smiled
,
blinked
,
choked
a
little
.
“
I
suppose
when
you
're
getting
on
in
life
,
like
I
am
,
you
always
feel
a
little
lonely
.
And
then
,
kindness
,
and
somebody
who
'll
listen
,
does
go
to
your
heart
somehow
.
”
She
arranged
herself
,
smoothed
down
the
Papuan
full
dress
.
“
Well
,
I
'll
go
up
and
write
to
Aunt
Trumbull
,
”
she
said
.
“
The
post
's
at
twelve
,
and
,
I
'm
sorry
to
say
,
I
never
was
very
quick
over
letters
.
”
CHAPTER
VII
SO
Charlottle
Perry
never
cried
,
—
never
,
from
a
child
,
had
been
given
to
the
weakness
of
weeping
.
Among
the
many
enlightening
pieces
of
information
I
had
recently
received
,
this
struck
me
as
one
of
the
most
interesting
.
I
found
myself
repeating
it
over
and
over
as
I
loitered
down
the
garden
.
Perplexing
young
person
!
And
the
copious
tears
of
yesterday
,
what
then
did
they
indicate
?
A
breaking
down
of
stoicism
;
the
heart
of
the
woman
fairly
touched
at
last
;
or
merely
a
pose
more
elaborate
,
more
realistically
developed
,
than
all
former
poses
?
In
the
days
of
my
youth
and
my
vanity
,
I
thought
I
knew
a
great
deal
about
human
nature
;
I
fancied
myself
an
adept
in
the
reading
of
character
.
But
as
I
grow
older
I
grow
less
and
less
confident
of
my
own
astuteness
.
My
slowness
in
“
catching
on
”
indeed
appears
to
me
positively
abysmal
.
The
comprehension
—
in
the
true
sense
of
that
word
—
of
even
the
most
fatuous
of
one
's
fellow-mortals
demands
,
not
only
a
patience
almost
superhuman
,
but
a
lifetime
of
observation
.
One
thing
among
all
the
perplexities
,
however
,
was
quite
certain
,
namely
,
that
I
had
not
got
to
the
end
of
Charlotte
Perry
yet
.
Meanwhile
,
I
own
,
I
kept
a
look-out
for
the
scarlet
silk
blouse
.
Not
only
did
I
need
a
change
from
the
Perry
atmosphere
to
a
less
depressing
climate
and
wider
horizon
,
but
I
owed
the
owner
of
that
brilliant
garment
one
,
to
put
it
vulgarly
.
“
Discipline
must
be
maintained
,
”
as
observed
the
immortal
Sergeant
Bagnet
.
She
had
been
malicious
.
She
must
pay
for
her
malice
—
somehow
—
were
it
only
indirectly
by
acting
as
an
antidote
to
the
insularity
of
good
Mrs.
Perry
.
But
the
offender
had
become
invisible
.
I
searched
for
her
,
but
I
searched
vainly
.
She
and
her
dyspeptic
cavalier
had
disappeared
.
Finally
,
hearing
a
sound
of
voices
from
the
place
of
gnats
,
I
turned
my
footsteps
thither
.
Alas
!
under
the
sharp-edged
shadow
of
the
plane-trees
only
two
English
nurses
and
their
charges
were
visible
.
—
A
small
boy
and
girl
,
—
two
wildly
active
blue
and
white
little
beings
,
apparently
in
imminent
risk
of
immersion
,
jumping
from
gunwale
to
gunwale
of
the
pack
of
rowing-boats
that
were
drawn
up
half
out
of
the
water
on
the
paved
slope
at
the
near
end
of
the
little
harbour
.
And
a
lusty
infant
of
tender
age
,
armed
with
a
wooden
spade
,
and
suffering
permanent
eclipse
,
as
to
its
face
,
from
the
vast
proportions
of
a
flapping
white
linen
hat
,
who
made
staggering
rushes
in
unexpected
directions
;
indulging
,
meanwhile
,
in
that
wordless
and
wholly
unrelated
description
of
vocalisation
,
which
should
delight
the
heart
of
the
evolutionary
philologist
,
since
it
points
so
distinctly
to
the
conclusion
that
the
utterances
of
the
primæval
savage
are
heard
over
again
in
the
earliest
notes
of
the
contemporary
Christian
child
.
It
was
uncommonly
warm
under
the
plane-trees
.
Owing
to
the
turn
of
the
coast-line
the
whole
of
the
little
bay
was
sheltered
from
the
breeze
;
so
that
the
gay-coloured
flags
of
the
rowing-boats
,
among
which
the
stars
and
stripes
predominated
,
hung
limp
and
flaccid
from
the
white
stern-posts
.
The
length
of
the
stone
pier
lay
in
a
blaze
of
sunshine
.
And
at
the
extreme
end
of
it
,
raised
high
above
the
quay
by
a
flight
of
steep
steps
,
stood
,
not
the
accentuated
black
and
red
figure
of
my
coveted
young
Russian
,
but
Leversedge
,
—
tall
,
gaunt
,
curiously
unsubstantial
looking
,
in
a
pale
brown
shooting-coat
and
white
trousers
.
His
back
was
towards
me
,
his
hands
in
his
pockets
,
his
shoulders
rounded
,
as
he
gazed
down
into
the
blue
water
ridged
with
slow
,
smooth
undulations
from
the
wash
of
the
lately
passed
steamer
.
He
was
absolutely
still
—
a
modern
St.
Simeon
Stylites
upon
his
lonely
pillar
—
victim
,
even
as
this
last
was
,
allowing
for
the
difference
of
outlook
brought
about
by
the
lapse
of
fifteen
centuries
,
of
the
strange
torments
of
a
fixed
idea
.
I
walked
nearly
the
length
of
the
pier
before
hailing
him
(
the
stones
,
I
remember
,
struck
quite
hot
even
through
the
soles
of
my
boots
)
,
and
when
,
in
response
to
my
greeting
,
he
turned
round
,
it
was
in
the
slow
,
dazed
manner
of
a
man
half
asleep
.
“
My
dear
fellow
,
”
I
said
,
“
the
effect
of
you
up
there
is
finely
statuesque
,
and
most
appropriately
so
.
I
have
been
holding
converse
with
Mrs.
Perry
—
who
,
by
the
same
token
,
is
as
dear
and
kind
a
soul
as
ever
stepped
—
and
I
find
you
are
very
much
the
hero
of
the
hour
.
But
I
have
had
no
speech
of
you
for
two
days
.
Descend
,
therefore
,
oh
great
man
,
from
your
pedestal
,
and
account
for
yourself
.
Tell
me
how
you
are
.
”
Thus
admonished
,
Leversedge
stepped
down
to
the
level
of
the
quay
.
“
She
told
you
about
it
all
,
and
they
're
pleased
?
”
he
said
.
“
That
's
a
good
thing
,
anyhow
.
I
'm
immensely
glad
.
”
As
he
spoke
,
I
took
a
steady
look
at
Leversedge
,
and
that
which
I
saw
,
upon
my
word
,
I
should
not
be
sorry
to
forget
.
His
eyes
were
sunk
in
his
head
,
and
circled
by
a
bluish-black
stain
.
His
face
was
very
thin
and
positively
grey
in
colour
,
causing
his
close
brown
beard
to
seem
unnaturally
dark
and
bright
.
And
this
had
a
ghastly
effect
somehow
,
as
though
the
man
's
hair
alone
was
alive
,
the
rest
of
him
,
though
he
moved
and
spoke
,
already
dead
.
His
appearance
was
so
startling
that
I
could
not
help
commenting
on
it
.
“
You
're
not
well
,
”
I
said
.
Leversedge
raised
his
eyebrows
,
and
smiled
at
me
in
his
curiously
patient
way
.
“
I
'm
sure
I
do
n't
know
.
On
the
whole
I
imagine
not
,
”
he
replied
.
“
But
really
I
begin
to
forget
.
Was
I
ever
well
?
Is
anybody
ever
well
?
Is
n't
it
all
a
matter
of
degrees
,
after
all
?
Some
cheerful
old
johnny
once
declared
the
beginning
of
living
was
,
rightly
understood
,
merely
the
beginning
of
dying
,
did
n't
he
?
And
as
you
get
older
the
process
of
dissolution
merely
gets
more
way
on
,
I
suppose
.
The
pace
quickens
when
you
're
nearing
the
post
.
”
“
But
,
my
dear
friend
,
at
your
age
one
by
no
means
necessarily
nears
the
post
.
There
are
ways
and
means
.
Something
can
and
must
be
done
to
prevent
it
.
”
“
Make
me
warm
,
then
,
”
said
Leversedge
.
“
I
am
so
dismally
and
infernally
cold
.
I
do
n't
believe
I
am
more
cowardly
than
most
men
,
but
the
cold
frightens
me
.
I
am
always
seeing
a
picture
,
I
once
came
across
somewhere
,
of
men
and
women
frozen
into
a
great
sea
of
ice
.
I
fancy
it
was
an
illustration
of
Dante
,
—
mean
,
spiteful
sort
of
thing
it
always
struck
me
,
to
stick
all
the
people
who
annoyed
you
into
the
wrong
place
like
that
,
in
a
poem
,
for
themselves
and
everybody
else
to
read
.
I
came
down
here
,
”
he
added
,
“
to
try
to
bake
the
shivers
out
of
me
.
But
it
's
no
good
.
This
European
sun
of
yours
is
a
miserably
one-horse
concern
.
It
gives
out
about
as
much
heat
as
a
square
foot
of
looking-glass
.
”
I
was
greatly
concerned
for
Leversedge
.
—
“
Is
it
the
old
story
?
”
I
asked
.
He
nodded
.
“
I
've
been
spending
a
happy
night
with
my
faithful
dog
,
”
he
said
.
“
Nine
hours
of
uninterrupted
enjoyment
.
”
And
then
,
as
by
mutual
consent
,
we
looked
very
hard
at
each
other
;
while
the
lusty
infant
under
the
plane-trees
,
filled
by
the
sense
of
its
own
well-being
,
upraised
its
voice
in
still
louder
shoutings
,
and
the
empty
boats
bumped
against
one
another
,
with
soft
gurglings
and
suckings
of
water
,
as
the
little
boy
and
girl
skirmished
about
them
playing
some
game
of
wild
adventure
.
“
No
,
Hammond
,
I
am
not
mad
.
Appearances
are
frightfully
against
me
;
but
,
before
God
,
I
do
n't
believe
I
am
mad
,
”
Leversedge
said
solemnly
.
“
What
it
all
is
,
and
why
it
all
is
,
I
do
n't
know
.
I
have
gone
back
through
everything
,
as
far
as
I
can
remember
,
and
my
record
,
—
it
is
n't
perfectly
clean
;
whose
is
,
after
all
,
you
know
?
—
but
it
is
not
worse
than
most
men
's
.
So
I
ca
n't
make
out
that
I
have
done
anything
to
bring
this
upon
myself
.
I
suppose
it
's
folly
ever
to
try
to
go
behind
the
fact
.
What
is
,
is
;
and
there
's
the
beginning
and
end
of
it
.
And
,
as
I
told
you
,
in
that
dead
camp
I
saw
the
Thing-too-Much
.
Still
,
one
would
always
like
to
know
why
.
It
occurs
to
one
Somebody
must
be
accountable
,
and
one
would
be
obliged
if
They
'd
kindly
explain
,
—
that
's
all
.
”
Leversedge
's
dead
face
smiled
pathetically
upon
me
.
“
But
They
do
n't
explain
,
”
he
added
.
“
I
do
n't
want
to
be
blasphemous
,
but
it
occurs
to
one
sometimes
that
perhaps
They
're
not
so
very
much
to
blame
,
—
perhaps
They
ca
n't
explain
.
”
“
Ah
!
there
you
touch
bottom
,
”
I
said
.
“
You
can
get
no
lower
.
You
have
reached
the
land
of
Outer
Darkness
,
where
reigns
the
Everlasting
Despair
.
Come
out
of
that
.
It
,
anyhow
,
is
absolutely
no
good
.
Put
it
away
from
you
.
If
it
had
been
proved
up
to
the
hilt
,
—
which
,
remember
,
it
never
yet
has
been
,
or
,
as
far
as
I
can
see
,
ever
can
be
,
—
still
it
would
be
the
part
of
the
wise
man
to
deny
it
,
to
ignore
it
,
to
refuse
utterly
to
think
of
it
.
”
“
Since
when
have
you
turned
preacher
,
Hammond
?
”
Leversedge
asked
.
Then
he
added
almost
immediately
,
—
“
I
beg
your
pardon
.
I
am
an
ass
.
One
may
be
in
a
pretty
bad
way
,
but
it
is
superfluous
to
be
uncivil
.
”
“
Perpetrate
incivilities
of
the
most
aggravated
character
,
and
I
will
endure
them
like
a
lamb
,
like
a
sucking-dove
,
like
that
unpardonably-irritating
creature
,
‘patient
Grizel’
herself
,
only
,
do
n't
lose
heart
.
”
There
was
a
silence
.
Leversedge
's
eyes
rested
on
the
children
playing
in
the
sunshine
in
the
gaily
painted
boats
.
“
That
must
be
awfully
jolly
,
”
he
said
presently
.
“
One
would
be
glad
to
go
back
.
And
yet
one
would
merely
have
to
do
it
all
over
again
,
which
would
be
—
”
He
shivered
.
“
I
drove
it
away
four
or
five
times
last
night
,
”
he
added
.
“
But
it
only
went
round
and
curled
itself
into
my
back
.
That
was
the
finish
.
I
was
so
absurdly
tired
,
—
that
little
bit
of
business
with
the
Consul
yesterday
regularly
knocked
me
up
—
I
do
n't
know
what
I
am
coming
to
,
—
but
I
had
n't
the
energy
to
get
up
and
move
about
,
so
I
lay
still
and
let
it
lie
.
And
it
chilled
me
clean
through
.
”
Not
my
worst
enemy
has
ever
accused
me
of
an
intemperate
passion
for
physical
exercise
;
but
there
are
times
when
one
must
do
violence
even
to
one
's
highest
virtues
.
“
Come
and
drink
,
”
I
said
,
“
and
then
come
and
walk
.
Even
a
salamander
might
find
some
of
