blightsall
opponents
with
his
gloomy
sarcasm
,
is
as
merry
as
a
grig
at
a
French
watering-place
.
The
learned
gentleman
who
weeps
by
the
pint
on
the
smallest
provocation
,
has
not
shed
a
tear
these
six
weeks
.
The
very
learned
gentleman
who
has
cooled
the
natural
heat
of
his
gingery
complexion
in
pools
and
fountains
of
law
,
until
he
has
become
great
in
knotty
arguments
for
Term-time
,
when
he
poses
the
drowsy
Bench
with
legal
“
chaff
,
”
inexplicable
to
the
uninitiated
and
to
most
of
the
initiated
too
,
is
roaming
,
with
a
characteristic
delight
in
aridity
and
dust
,
about
Constantinople
.
Other
dispersed
fragments
of
the
same
great
Palladium
are
to
be
found
on
the
canals
of
Venice
,
at
the
second
cataract
of
the
Nile
,
in
the
baths
of
Germany
,
and
sprinkled
on
the
seasand
all
over
the
English
coast
.
Scarcely
one
is
to
be
encountered
in
the
deserted
region
of
Chancery
Lane
.
If
such
a
lonely
member
of
the
bar
do
flit
across
the
waste
,
and
come
upon
a
prowling
suitor
who
is
unable
to
leave
off
haunting
the
scenes
of
his
anxiety
,
they
frighten
one
another
,
and
retreat
into
opposite
shades
.
It
is
the
hottest
long
vacation
known
for
many
years
.
All
the
young
clerks
are
madly
in
love
,
and
,
according
to
their
various
degrees
,
pine
for
bliss
with
the
beloved
object
,
at
Margate
,
Ramsgate
,
or
Gravesend
.
All
the
middle-aged
clerks
think
their
families
too
large
.
All
the
unowned
dogs
who
stray
into
the
Inns
of
Court
,
and
pant
about
staircases
and
other
dry
places
,
seeking
water
,
give
short
howls
of
aggravation
.
All
the
blind
mens
'
dogs
in
the
streets
draw
their
masters
against
pumps
,
or
trip
them
over
buckets
.
A
shop
with
a
sun-blind
,
and
a
watered
pavement
,
and
a
bowl
of
gold
and
silver
fish
in
the
window
,
is
a
sanctuary
.
Temple
Bar
gets
so
hot
,
that
it
is
,
to
the
adjacent
Strand
and
Fleet
Street
,
what
a
heater
is
in
an
urn
,
and
keeps
them
simmering
all
night
.
There
are
offices
about
the
Inns
of
Court
in
which
a
man
might
be
cool
,
if
any
coolness
were
worth
purchasing
at
such
a
price
in
dulness
;
but
,
the
little
thoroughfares
immediately
outside
those
retirements
seem
to
blaze
.
In
Mr.
Krook
's
court
,
it
is
so
hot
that
the
people
turn
their
houses
inside
out
,
and
sit
in
chairs
upon
the
pavement
—
Mr.
Krook
included
,
who
there
pursues
his
studies
,
with
his
cat
(
who
never
is
too
hot
)
by
his
side
.
The
Sol
's
Arms
has
discontinued
the
harmonic
meetings
for
the
season
,
and
Little
Swills
is
engaged
at
the
Pastoral
Gardens
down
the
river
,
where
he
comes
out
in
quite
an
innocent
manner
,
and
sings
comic
ditties
of
a
juvenile
complexion
,
calculated
(
as
the
bill
says
)
not
to
wound
the
feelings
of
the
most
fastidious
mind
.
Over
all
the
legal
neighbourhood
,
there
hangs
,
like
some
great
veil
of
rust
,
or
gigantic
cobweb
,
the
idleness
and
pensiveness
of
the
long
vacation
.
Mr.
Snagsby
,
law-stationer
of
Cook
's
Court
,
Cursitor
Street
,
is
sensible
of
the
influence
;
not
only
in
his
mind
as
a
sympathetic
and
contemplative
man
,
but
also
in
his
business
as
a
law-stationer
aforesaid
.
He
has
more
leisure
for
musing
in
Staple
Inn
and
in
the
Rolls
Yard
,
during
the
long
vacation
,
than
at
other
seasons
;
and
he
says
to
the
two
'
prentices
,
what
a
thing
it
is
in
such
hot
weather
to
think
that
you
live
in
an
island
,
with
the
sea
a
rolling
and
a
bowling
right
round
you
.
Guster
is
busy
in
the
little
drawing-room
,
on
this
present
afternoon
in
the
long
vacation
,
when
Mr.
and
Mrs.
Snagsby
have
it
in
contemplation
to
receive
company
.
The
expected
guests
are
rather
select
than
numerous
,
being
Mr.
and
Mrs.
Chadband
,
and
no
more
.
From
Mr.
Chadband
's
being
much
given
to
describe
himself
,
both
verbally
and
in
writing
,
as
a
vessel
,
he
is
occasionally
mistaken
by
strangers
for
a
gentleman
connected
with
navigation
;
but
,
he
is
,
as
he
expresses
it
,
“
in
the
ministry
.
”
Mr.
Chadband
is
attached
to
no
particular
denomination
;
and
is
considered
by
his
persecutors
to
have
nothing
so
very
remarkable
to
say
on
the
greatest
of
subjects
as
to
render
his
volunteering
,
on
his
own
account
,
at
all
incumbent
on
his
conscience
;
but
,
he
has
his
followers
,
and
Mrs.
Snagsby
is
of
the
number
.
Mrs.
Snagsby
has
but
recently
taken
a
passage
upward
by
the
vessel
,
Chadband
;
and
her
attention
was
attracted
to
that
Bark
A
1
,
when
she
was
something
flushed
by
the
hot
weather
.
“
My
little
woman
,
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
to
the
sparrows
in
Staple
Inn
,
“
likes
to
have
her
religion
rather
sharp
,
you
see
!
”
So
,
Guster
,
much
impressed
by
regarding
herself
for
the
time
as
the
handmaid
of
Chadband
,
whom
she
knows
to
be
endowed
with
the
gift
of
holding
forth
for
four
hours
at
a
stretch
,
prepares
the
little
drawing-room
for
tea
.
All
the
furniture
is
shaken
and
dusted
,
the
portraits
of
Mr.
and
Mrs.
Snagsby
are
touched
up
with
a
wet
cloth
,
the
best
tea-service
is
set
forth
,
and
there
is
excellent
provision
made
of
dainty
new
bread
,
crusty
twists
,
cool
fresh
butter
,
thin
slices
of
ham
,
tongue
and
German
sausage
,
and
delicate
little
rows
of
anchovies
nestling
in
parsley
;
not
to
mention
new
laid
eggs
,
to
be
brought
up
warm
in
a
napkin
,
and
hot
buttered
toast
.
For
,
Chadband
is
rather
a
consuming
vessel
—
the
persecutors
say
a
gorging
vessel
;
and
can
wield
such
weapons
of
the
flesh
as
a
knife
and
fork
,
remarkably
well
.
Mr.
Snagsby
in
his
best
coat
,
looking
at
all
the
preparations
when
they
are
completed
,
and
coughing
his
cough
of
deference
behind
his
hand
,
says
to
Mrs.
Snagsby
,
“
At
what
time
did
you
expect
Mr.
and
Mrs.
Chadband
,
my
love
?
”
“
At
six
,
”
says
Mrs.
Snagsby
.
Mr.
Snagsby
observes
in
a
mild
and
casual
way
,
that
“
it
's
gone
that
.
”
“
Perhaps
you
'd
like
to
begin
without
them
,
”
is
Mrs.
Snagsby
's
reproachful
remark
.
Mr.
Snagsby
does
look
as
if
he
would
like
it
very
much
,
but
he
says
,
with
his
cough
of
mildness
,
“
No
,
my
dear
,
no.
I
merely
named
the
time
.
”
“
What
's
time
,
”
says
Mrs.
Snagsby
,
“
to
eternity
?
”
“
Very
true
,
my
dear
,
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
.
“
Only
when
a
person
lays
in
victuals
for
tea
,
a
person
does
it
with
a
view
—
perhaps
—
more
to
time
.
And
when
a
time
is
named
for
having
tea
,
it
's
better
to
come
up
to
it
.
”
“
To
come
up
to
it
!
”
Mrs.
Snagsby
repeats
with
severity
.
“
Up
to
it
!
As
if
Mr.
Chadband
was
a
fighter
!
”
“
Not
at
all
,
my
dear
,
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
.
Here
,
Guster
,
who
has
been
looking
out
of
the
bed-room
window
,
comes
rustling
and
scratching
down
the
little
staircase
like
a
popular
ghost
,
and
,
falling
flushed
into
the
drawing-room
,
announces
that
Mr.
and
Mrs.
Chadband
have
appeared
in
the
court
.
The
bell
at
the
inner
door
in
the
passage
immediately
thereafter
tinkling
,
she
is
admonished
by
Mrs.
Snagsby
,
on
pain
of
instant
reconsignment
to
her
patron
saint
,
not
to
omit
the
ceremony
of
announcement
.
Much
discomposed
in
her
nerves
(
which
were
previously
in
the
best
order
)
by
this
threat
,
she
so
fearfully
mutilates
that
point
of
state
as
to
announce
“
Mr.
and
Mrs.
Cheescming
,
least
which
,
Imeantersay
whatsername
!
”
and
retires
conscience-stricken
from
the
presence
.
Mr.
Chadband
is
a
large
yellow
man
,
with
a
fat
smile
,
and
a
general
appearance
of
having
a
good
deal
of
train
oil
in
his
system
.
Mrs.
Chadband
is
a
stern
,
severe-looking
,
silent
woman
.
Mr.
Chadband
moves
softly
and
cumbrously
,
not
unlike
a
bear
who
has
been
taught
to
walk
upright
.
He
is
very
much
embarrassed
about
the
arms
,
as
if
they
were
inconvenient
to
him
,
and
he
wanted
to
grovel
;
is
very
much
in
a
perspiration
about
the
head
;
and
never
speaks
without
first
putting
up
his
great
hand
,
as
delivering
a
token
to
his
hearers
that
he
is
going
to
edify
them
.
“
My
friends
,
”
says
Mr.
Chadband
.
“
Peace
be
on
this
house
!
On
the
master
thereof
,
on
the
mistress
thereof
,
on
the
young
maidens
,
and
on
the
young
men
!
My
friends
,
why
do
I
wish
for
peace
?
What
is
peace
?
Is
it
war
?
No.
Is
it
strife
?
No.
Is
it
lovely
,
and
gentle
,
and
beautiful
,
and
pleasant
,
and
serene
,
and
joyful
?
O
yes
!
Therefore
,
my
friends
,
I
wish
for
peace
,
upon
you
and
upon
yours
.
”
In
consequence
of
Mrs.
Snagsby
looking
deeply
edified
,
Mr.
Snagsby
thinks
it
expedient
on
the
whole
to
say
Amen
,
which
is
well
received
.
“
Now
,
my
friends
,
”
proceeds
Mr.
Chadband
,
“
since
I
am
upon
this
theme
—
”
Guster
presents
herself
.
Mrs.
Snagsby
,
in
a
spectral
bass
voice
,
and
without
removing
her
eyes
from
Chadband
,
says
,
with
dread
distinctness
,
“
Go
away
!
”
“
Now
,
my
friends
,
”
says
Chadband
,
“
since
I
am
upon
this
theme
,
and
in
my
lowly
path
improving
it
—
”
Guster
is
heard
unaccountably
to
murmur
“
one
thousing
seven
hunderd
and
eighty-two
.
”
The
spectral
voice
repeats
more
solemnly
,
“
Go
away
!
”
“
Now
,
my
friends
,
”
says
Mr.
Chadband
,
“
we
will
inquire
in
a
spirit
of
love
—
”
Still
Guster
reiterates
“
one
thousing
seven
hunderd
and
eighty-two
.
”
Mr.
Chadband
,
pausing
with
the
resignation
of
a
man
accustomed
to
be
persecuted
,
and
languidly
folding
up
his
chin
into
his
fat
smile
,
says
,
“
Let
us
hear
the
maiden
!
Speak
,
maiden
!
”
“
One
thousing
seven
hunderd
and
eighty-two
,
if
you
please
,
sir
.
Which
he
wish
to
know
what
the
shilling
ware
for
,
”
says
Guster
,
breathless
.
“
For
?
”
returns
Mrs.
Chadband
.
“
For
his
fare
!
”
Guster
replied
that
“
he
insistes
on
one
and
eightpence
,
or
on
summonsizzing
the
party
.
”
Mrs.
Snagsby
and
Mrs.
Chadband
are
proceeding
to
grow
shrill
in
indignation
,
when
Mr.
Chadband
quiets
the
tumult
by
lifting
up
his
hand
.
“
My
friends
,
”
says
he
,
“
I
remember
a
duty
unfulfilled
yesterday
.
It
is
right
that
I
should
be
chastened
in
some
penalty
.
I
ought
not
to
murmur
.
Rachael
,
pay
the
eightpence
!
”
While
Mrs.
Snagsby
,
drawing
her
breath
,
looks
hard
at
Mr.
Snagsby
,
as
who
should
say
,
“
you
hear
this
Apostle
!
”
and
while
Mr.
Chadband
glows
with
humility
and
train
oil
,
Mrs.
Chadband
pays
the
money
.
It
is
Mr.
Chadband
's
habit
—
it
is
the
head
and
front
of
his
pretensions
indeed
—
to
keep
this
sort
of
debtor
and
creditor
account
in
the
smallest
items
,
and
to
post
it
publicly
on
the
most
trivial
occasions
.
“
My
friends
,
”
says
Chadband
,
“
eightpence
is
not
much
;
it
might
justly
have
been
one
and
fourpence
;
it
might
justly
have
been
half-a-crown
.
O
let
us
be
joyful
,
joyful
!
O
let
us
be
joyful
!
”
With
which
remark
,
which
appears
from
its
sound
to
be
an
extract
in
verse
,
Mr.
Chadband
stalks
to
the
table
,
and
,
before
taking
a
chair
,
lifts
up
his
admonitory
hand
.
“
My
friends
,
”
says
he
,
“
what
is
this
which
we
now
behold
as
being
spread
before
us
?
Refreshment
.
Do
we
need
refreshment
then
,
my
friends
?
We
do
.
And
why
do
we
need
refreshment
,
my
friends
?
Because
we
are
but
mortal
,
because
we
are
but
sinful
,
because
we
are
but
of
the
earth
,
because
we
are
not
of
the
air
.
Can
we
fly
,
my
friends
?
We
cannot
.
Why
can
we
not
fly
,
my
friends
?
Mr.
Snagsby
,
presuming
on
the
success
of
his
last
point
,
ventures
to
observe
in
a
cheerful
and
rather
knowing
tone
,
“
No
wings
.
”
But
,
is
immediately
frowned
down
by
Mrs.
Snagsby
.
“
I
say
,
my
friends
,
”
pursues
Mr.
Chadband
,
utterly
rejecting
and
obliterating
Mr.
Snagsby
's
suggestion
,
“
why
can
we
not
fly
?
Is
it
because
we
are
calculated
to
walk
?
It
is
.
Could
we
walk
,
my
friends
,
without
strength
?
We
could
not
.
What
should
we
do
without
strength
,
my
friends
?
Our
legs
would
refuse
to
bear
us
,
our
knees
would
double
up
,
our
ankles
would
turn
over
,
and
we
should
come
to
the
ground
.
Then
from
whence
,
my
friends
,
in
a
human
point
of
view
,
do
we
derive
the
strength
that
is
necessary
to
our
limbs
?
Is
it
,
”
says
Chadband
,
glancing
over
the
table
,
“
from
bread
in
various
forms
,
from
butter
which
is
churned
from
the
milk
which
is
yielded
untoe
us
by
the
cow
,
from
the
eggs
which
are
laid
by
the
fowl
,
from
ham
,
from
tongue
,
from
sausage
,
and
from
such
like
?
It
is
.
Then
let
us
partake
of
the
good
things
which
are
set
before
us
!
”
The
persecutors
denied
that
there
was
any
particular
gift
in
Mr.
Chadband
's
piling
verbose
flights
of
stairs
,
one
upon
another
,
after
this
fashion
.
But
this
can
only
be
received
as
a
proof
of
their
determination
to
persecute
,
since
it
must
be
within
everybody
's
experience
,
that
the
Chadband
style
of
oratory
is
widely
received
and
much
admired
.
Mr.
Chadband
,
however
,
having
concluded
for
the
present
,
sits
down
at
Mrs.
Snagsby
's
table
,
and
lays
about
him
prodigiously
.
The
conversion
of
nutriment
of
any
sort
into
oil
of
the
quality
already
mentioned
,
appears
to
be
a
process
so
inseparable
from
the
constitution
of
this
exemplary
vessel
,
that
in
beginning
to
eat
and
drink
,
he
may
be
described
as
always
becoming
a
kind
of
considerable
Oil
Mills
,
or
other
large
factory
for
the
production
of
that
article
on
a
wholesale
scale
.
On
the
present
evening
of
the
long
vacation
,
in
Cook
's
Court
,
Cursitor
Street
,
he
does
such
a
powerful
stroke
of
business
,
that
the
warehouse
appears
to
be
quite
full
when
the
works
cease
.
At
this
period
of
the
entertainment
,
Guster
,
who
has
never
recovered
her
first
failure
,
but
has
neglected
no
possible
or
impossible
means
of
bringing
the
establishment
and
herself
into
contempt
—
among
which
may
be
briefly
enumerated
her
unexpectedly
performing
clashing
military
music
on
Mr.
Chadband
's
head
with
plates
,
and
afterwards
crowning
that
gentleman
with
muffins
—
at
this
period
of
the
entertainment
,
Guster
whispers
Mr.
Snagsby
that
he
is
wanted
.
“
And
being
wanted
in
the
—
not
to
put
too
fine
a
point
upon
it
—
in
the
shop
!
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
rising
,
“
perhaps
this
good
company
will
excuse
me
for
half
a
minute
.
”
Mr.
Snagsby
descends
,
and
finds
the
two
'
prentices
intently
contemplating
a
police
constable
,
who
holds
a
ragged
boy
by
the
arm
.
“
Why
,
bless
my
heart
,
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
,
“
what
's
the
matter
!
”
“
This
boy
,
”
says
the
constable
,
“
although
he
's
repeatedly
told
to
,
wo
n't
move
on
—
”
“
I
'm
always
a
moving
on
,
sir
,
”
cries
the
boy
,
wiping
away
his
grimy
tears
with
his
arm
.
“
I
've
always
been
a
moving
and
a
moving
on
,
ever
since
I
was
born
.
Where
can
I
possible
move
to
,
sir
,
more
nor
I
do
move
!
”
“
He
wo
n't
move
on
,
”
says
the
constable
,
calmly
,
with
a
slight
professional
hitch
of
his
neck
involving
its
better
settlement
in
his
stiff
stock
,
“
although
he
has
been
repeatedly
cautioned
,
and
therefore
I
am
obliged
to
take
him
into
custody
.
He
's
as
obstinate
a
young
gonoph
as
I
know
.
He
WO
N'T
move
on
.
”
“
O
my
eye
!
Where
can
I
move
to
!
”
cries
the
boy
,
clutching
quite
desperately
at
his
hair
,
and
beating
his
bare
feet
upon
the
floor
of
Mr.
Snagsby
's
passage
.
“
Do
n't
you
come
none
of
that
,
or
I
shall
make
blessed
short
work
of
you
!
”
says
the
constable
,
giving
him
a
passionless
shake
.
“
My
instructions
are
,
that
you
are
to
move
on
.
I
have
told
you
so
five
hundred
times
.
”
“
But
where
?
”
cries
the
boy
.
“
Well
!
Really
,
constable
,
you
know
,
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
wistfully
,
and
coughing
behind
his
hand
his
cough
of
great
perplexity
and
doubt
;
“
really
,
that
does
seem
a
question
.
Where
,
you
know
?
”
“
My
instructions
do
n't
go
to
that
,
”
replies
the
constable
.
“
My
instructions
are
that
this
boy
is
to
move
on
.
”
Do
you
hear
,
Jo
?
It
is
nothing
to
you
or
to
any
one
else
,
that
the
great
lights
of
the
parliamentary
sky
have
failed
for
some
few
years
,
in
this
business
,
to
set
you
the
example
of
moving
on
.
The
one
grand
recipe
remains
for
you
—
the
profound
philosophical
prescription
—
the
be-all
and
the
end-all
of
your
strange
existence
upon
earth
.
Move
on
!
You
are
by
no
means
to
move
off
,
Jo
,
for
the
great
lights
ca
n't
at
all
agree
about
that
.
Move
on
!
Mr.
Snagsby
says
nothing
to
this
effect
;
says
nothing
at
all
,
indeed
;
but
coughs
his
forlornest
cough
,
expressive
of
no
thoroughfare
in
any
direction
.
By
this
time
,
Mr.
and
Mrs.
Chadband
,
and
Mrs.
Snagsby
,
hearing
the
altercation
,
have
appeared
upon
the
stairs
.
Guster
having
never
left
the
end
of
the
passage
,
the
whole
household
are
assembled
.
“
The
simple
question
is
,
sir
,
”
says
the
constable
,
“
whether
you
know
this
boy
.
He
says
you
do
.
”
Mrs.
Snagsby
,
from
her
elevation
,
instantly
cries
out
“
No
he
do
n't
!
”
“
My
lit-tle
woman
!
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
,
looking
up
the
staircase
.
“
My
love
,
permit
me
!
Pray
have
a
moment
's
patience
,
my
dear
.
I
do
know
something
of
this
lad
,
and
in
what
I
know
of
him
,
I
ca
n't
say
that
there
's
any
harm
;
perhaps
on
the
contrary
,
constable
.
”
To
whom
the
law-stationer
relates
his
Joful
and
woful
experience
,
suppressing
the
half-crown
fact
.
“
Well
!
”
says
the
constable
,
“
so
far
,
it
seems
,
he
had
grounds
for
what
he
said
.
When
I
took
him
into
custody
up
in
Holborn
,
he
said
you
knew
him
.
Upon
that
,
a
young
man
who
was
in
the
crowd
said
he
was
acquainted
with
you
,
and
you
were
a
respectable
housekeeper
,
and
if
I
'd
call
and
make
the
enquiry
he
'd
appear
.
The
young
man
do
n't
seem
inclined
to
keep
his
word
,
but
—
Oh
!
Here
is
the
young
man
!
”
Enter
Mr.
Guppy
,
who
nods
to
Mr.
Snagsby
,
and
touches
his
hat
with
the
chivalry
of
clerkship
to
the
ladies
on
the
stairs
.
“
I
was
strolling
away
from
the
office
just
now
,
when
I
found
this
row
going
on
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
to
the
law-stationer
;
“
and
as
your
name
was
mentioned
,
I
thought
it
was
right
the
thing
should
be
looked
into
.
”
“
It
was
very
good-natured
of
you
,
sir
,
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
,
“
and
I
am
obliged
to
you
.
”
And
Mr.
Snagsby
again
relates
his
experience
,
again
suppressing
the
half-crown
fact
.
“
Now
,
I
know
where
you
live
,
”
says
the
constable
,
then
,
to
Jo
.
“
You
live
down
in
Tom-all-alone
's
.
That
's
a
nice
innocent
place
to
live
in
,
ai
n't
it
?
”
“
I
ca
n't
go
and
live
in
no
nicer
place
,
sir
,
”
replies
Jo
.
“
They
would
n't
have
nothink
to
say
to
me
if
I
wos
to
go
to
a
nice
innocent
place
fur
to
live
.
Who
ud
go
and
let
a
nice
innocent
lodging
to
such
a
reg'lar
one
as
me
!
”
“
You
are
very
poor
,
ai
n't
you
?
”
says
the
constable
.
“
Yes
,
I
am
indeed
,
sir
,
wery
poor
in
gin'ral
,
”
replies
Jo
.
“
I
leave
you
to
judge
now
!
I
shook
these
two
half-crowns
out
of
him
,
”
says
the
constable
producing
them
to
the
company
,
“
in
only
putting
my
hand
upon
him
!
”
“
They
're
wot
's
left
,
Mr.
Sangsby
,
”
says
Jo
,
“
out
of
a
sov'ring
as
wos
give
me
by
a
lady
in
a
wale
as
sed
she
wos
a
servant
and
as
come
to
my
crossin
one
night
and
asked
to
be
showd
this
'
ere
ouse
and
the
ouse
wot
him
as
you
giv
the
writin
to
died
at
,
and
the
berrin
ground
wot
he
's
berrid
in
.
She
ses
to
me
she
ses
‘are
you
the
boy
at
the
Inkwhich
?
’
she
ses
.
I
ses
‘yes’
I
ses
.
She
ses
to
me
she
ses
‘can
you
show
me
all
them
places
?
’
I
ses
‘yes
I
can’
I
ses
.
And
she
ses
to
me
‘do
it’
and
I
dun
it
and
she
giv
me
a
sov'ring
and
hooked
it
.
And
I
a
n't
had
much
of
the
sov'ring
neither
,
”
says
Jo
,
with
dirty
tears
,
“
fur
I
had
to
pay
five
bob
,
down
in
Tom-all-alone
's
,
afore
they
'd
square
it
fur
to
giv
me
change
,
and
then
a
young
man
he
thieved
another
five
while
I
was
asleep
and
another
boy
he
thieved
ninepence
and
the
landlord
he
stood
drains
round
with
a
lot
more
on
it
.
”
“
You
do
n't
expect
anybody
to
believe
this
,
about
the
lady
and
the
sovereign
,
do
you
?
”
says
the
constable
,
eyeing
him
aside
with
ineffable
disdain
.
“
I
do
n't
know
as
I
do
,
sir
,
”
replies
Jo
.
“
I
do
n't
expect
nothink
at
all
,
sir
,
much
,
but
that
's
the
true
hist'ry
on
it.’
“
You
see
what
he
is
!
”
the
constable
observes
to
the
audience
.
“
Well
,
Mr.
Snagsby
,
if
I
do
n't
lock
him
up
this
time
,
will
you
engage
for
his
moving
on
?
”
“
No
!
”
cries
Mrs.
Snagsby
from
the
stairs
.
“
My
little
woman
!
”
pleads
her
husband
.
“
Constable
,
I
have
no
doubt
he
'll
move
on
.
You
know
you
really
must
do
it
,
”
says
Mr.
Snagsby
.
“
I
'm
everyways
agreeable
,
sir
,
”
says
the
hapless
Jo
.
“
Do
it
,
then
,
”
observes
the
constable
.
“
You
know
what
you
have
got
to
do
.
Do
it
!
And
recollect
you
wo
n't
get
off
so
easy
next
time
.
Catch
hold
of
your
money
.
Now
,
the
sooner
you
're
five
mile
off
,
the
better
for
all
parties
.
”
With
this
farewell
hint
,
and
pointing
generally
to
the
setting
sun
,
as
a
likely
place
to
move
on
to
,
the
constable
bids
his
auditors
good
afternoon
;
and
makes
the
echoes
of
Cook
's
Court
perform
slow
music
for
him
as
he
walks
away
on
the
shady
side
,
carrying
his
iron-bound
hat
in
his
hand
for
a
little
ventilation
.
Now
,
Jo
's
improbable
story
concerning
the
lady
and
the
sovereign
has
awakened
more
or
less
the
curiosity
of
all
the
company
.
Mr.
Guppy
,
who
has
an
enquiring
mind
in
matters
of
evidence
,
and
who
has
been
suffering
severely
from
the
lassitude
of
the
long
vacation
,
takes
that
interest
in
the
case
,
that
he
enters
on
a
regular
cross-examination
of
the
witness
,
which
is
found
so
interesting
by
the
ladies
that
Mrs.
Snagsby
politely
invites
him
to
step
up-stairs
,
and
drink
a
cup
of
tea
,
if
he
will
excuse
the
disarranged
state
of
the
tea-table
,
consequent
on
their
previous
exertions
.
Mr.
Guppy
yielding
his
assent
to
this
proposal
,
Jo
is
requested
to
follow
into
the
drawing-room
doorway
,
where
Mr.
Guppy
takes
him
in
hand
as
a
witness
,
patting
him
into
this
shape
,
that
shape
,
and
the
other
shape
,
like
a
butterman
dealing
with
so
much
butter
,
and
worrying
him
according
to
the
best
models
.
Nor
is
the
examination
unlike
many
such
model
displays
,
both
in
respect
of
its
eliciting
nothing
,
and
of
its
being
lengthy
;
for
,
Mr.
Guppy
is
sensible
of
his
talent
,
and
Mrs.
Snagsby
feels
,
not
only
that
it
gratifies
her
inquisitive
disposition
,
but
that
it
lifts
her
husband
's
establishment
higher
up
in
the
law
.
During
the
progress
of
this
keen
encounter
,
the
vessel
Chadband
,
being
merely
engaged
in
the
oil
trade
,
gets
aground
,
and
waits
to
be
floated
off
.
“
Well
!
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
either
this
boy
sticks
to
it
like
cobbler
's
wax
,
or
there
is
something
out
of
the
common
here
that
beats
anything
that
ever
came
into
my
way
at
Kenge
and
Carboy
's
.
”
Mrs.
Chadband
whispers
Mrs.
Snagsby
,
who
exclaims
,
“
You
do
n't
say
so
!
”
For
years
!
”
replies
Mrs.
Chadband
.
“
Has
known
Kenge
and
Carboy
's
office
for
years
,
”
Mrs.
Snagsby
triumphantly
explains
to
Mr.
Guppy
.
“
Mrs.
Chadband
—
this
gentleman
's
wife
—
Reverend
Mr.
Chadband
.
”
“
Oh
,
indeed
!
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
.
“
Before
I
married
my
present
husband
,
”
says
Mrs.
Chadband
.
“
Was
you
a
party
in
anything
,
ma'am
?
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
transferring
his
cross-examination
.
“
No.
”
“
Not
a
party
in
anything
,
ma'am
?
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
.
Mrs.
Chadband
shakes
her
head
.
“
Perhaps
you
were
acquainted
with
somebody
who
was
a
party
in
something
,
ma'am
?
”
says
.
Mr.
Guppy
,
who
likes
nothing
better
than
to
model
his
conversation
on
forensic
principles
.
“
Not
exactly
that
,
either
,
”
replies
Mrs.
Chadband
,
humouring
the
joke
with
a
hard-favored
smile
.
“
Not
exactly
that
,
either
!
”
repeats
Mr.
Guppy
.
“
Very
good
.
Pray
,
ma'am
,
was
it
a
lady
of
your
acquaintance
who
had
some
transactions
(
we
will
not
at
present
say
what
transactions
)
with
Kenge
and
Carboy
's
office
,
or
was
it
a
gentleman
of
your
acquaintance
?
Take
time
,
ma'am
.
We
shall
come
to
it
presently
.
Man
or
woman
,
ma'am
?
”
“
Neither
,
”
says
Mrs.
Chadband
,
as
before
.
“
Oh
!
A
child
!
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
throwing
on
the
admiring
Mrs.
Snagsby
the
regular
acute
professional
eye
which
is
thrown
on
British
jurymen
.
“
Now
,
ma'am
,
perhaps
you
'll
have
the
kindness
to
tell
us
what
child
.
”
“
You
have
got
at
it
at
last
,
sir
,
”
says
Mrs.
Chadband
,
with
another
hard-favored
smile
.
“
Well
,
sir
,
it
was
before
your
time
,
most
likely
,
judging
from
your
appearance
.
I
was
left
in
charge
of
a
child
named
Esther
Summerson
,
who
was
put
out
in
life
by
Messrs.
Kenge
and
Carboy
.
”
“
Miss
Summerson
,
ma'am
!
”
cries
Mr.
Guppy
,
excited
.
“
I
call
her
Esther
Summerson
,
”
says
Mrs.
Chadband
,
with
austerity
.
“
There
was
no
Miss-ing
of
the
girl
in
my
time
.
It
was
Esther
.
‘Esther
,
do
this
!
Esther
,
do
that
!
’
and
she
was
made
to
do
it
.
”
“
My
dear
ma'am
,
”
returns
Mr.
Guppy
,
moving
across
the
small
apartment
,
“
the
humble
individual
who
now
addresses
you
received
that
young
lady
in
London
,
when
she
first
came
here
from
the
establishment
to
which
you
have
alluded
.
Allow
me
to
have
the
pleasure
of
taking
you
by
the
hand
.
”
Mr.
Chadband
,
at
last
seeing
his
opportunity
,
makes
his
accustomed
signal
,
and
rises
with
a
smoking
head
,
which
he
dabs
with
his
pocket-handkerchief
.
Mrs.
Snagsby
whispers
“
Hush
!
”
“
My
friends
,
”
says
Chadband
,
“
we
have
partaken
,
in
moderation
”
(
which
was
certainly
not
the
case
so
far
as
he
was
concerned
)
,
“
of
the
comforts
which
have
been
provided
for
us
.
May
this
house
live
upon
the
fatness
of
the
land
;
may
corn
and
wine
be
plentiful
therein
;
may
it
grow
,
may
it
thrive
,
may
it
prosper
,
may
it
advance
,
may
it
proceed
,
may
it
press
forward
!
But
,
my
friends
,
have
we
partaken
of
anything
else
?
We
have
.
My
friends
,
of
what
else
have
we
partaken
?
Of
spiritual
profit
?
Yes
.
From
whence
have
we
derived
that
spiritual
profit
?
My
young
friend
,
stand
forth
!
”
Jo
,
thus
apostrophised
,
gives
a
slouch
backward
,
and
another
slouch
forward
,
and
another
slouch
to
each
side
,
and
confronts
the
eloquent
Chadband
,
with
evident
doubts
of
his
intentions
.
“
My
young
friend
,
”
says
Chadband
,
“
you
are
to
us
a
pearl
,
you
are
to
us
a
diamond
,
you
are
to
us
a
gem
,
you
are
to
us
a
jewel
.
And
why
,
my
young
friend
?
”
“
I
do
n't
know
,
”
replies
Jo
.
“
I
do
n't
know
nothink
.
”
“
My
young
friend
,
”
says
Chadband
,
“
it
is
because
you
know
nothing
that
you
are
to
us
a
gem
and
jewel
.
For
what
are
you
,
my
young
friend
?
Are
you
a
beast
of
the
field
?
No.
A
bird
of
the
air
?
No.
A
fish
of
the
sea
or
river
?
No.
You
are
a
human
boy
,
my
young
friend
.
A
human
boy
.
O
glorious
to
be
a
human
boy
!
And
why
glorious
,
my
young
friend
?
Because
you
are
capable
of
receiving
the
lessons
of
wisdom
,
because
you
are
capable
of
profiting
by
this
discourse
which
I
now
deliver
for
your
good
,
because
you
are
not
a
stick
,
or
a
staff
,
or
a
stock
,
or
a
stone
,
or
a
post
,
or
a
pillar
.
O
running
stream
of
sparkling
joy
To
be
a
soaring
human
boy
!
And
do
you
cool
yourself
in
that
stream
now
,
my
young
friend
?
No.
Why
do
you
not
cool
yourself
in
that
stream
now
?
Because
you
are
in
a
state
of
darkness
,
because
you
are
in
a
state
of
obscurity
,
because
you
are
in
a
state
of
sinfulness
,
because
you
are
in
a
state
of
bondage
.
My
young
friend
,
what
is
bondage
?
Let
us
,
in
a
spirit
of
love
,
inquire
.
”
At
this
threatening
stage
of
the
discourse
,
Jo
,
who
seems
to
have
been
gradually
going
out
of
his
mind
,
smears
his
right
arm
over
his
face
,
and
gives
a
terrible
yawn
.
Mrs.
Snagsby
indignantly
expresses
her
belief
that
he
is
a
limb
of
the
arch-fiend
.
“
My
friends
,
”
says
Mr.
Chadband
,
with
his
persecuted
chin
folding
itself
into
its
fat
smile
again
as
he
looks
round
,
“
it
is
right
that
I
should
be
humbled
,
it
is
right
that
I
should
be
tried
,
it
is
right
that
I
should
be
mortified
,
it
is
right
that
I
should
be
corrected
.
I
stumbled
,
on
Sabbath
last
,
when
I
thought
with
pride
of
my
three
hours
'
improving
.
The
account
is
now
favorably
balanced
;
my
creditor
has
accepted
a
composition
.
O
let
us
be
joyful
,
joyful
!
O
let
us
be
joyful
!
”
Great
sensation
on
the
part
of
Mrs.
Snagsby
.
“
My
friends
,
”
says
Chadband
,
looking
round
him
,
in
conclusion
,
“
I
will
not
proceed
with
my
young
friend
now
.
Will
you
come
to-morrow
,
my
young
friend
,
and
enquire
of
this
good
lady
where
I
am
to
be
found
to
deliver
a
discourse
untoe
you
,
and
will
you
come
like
the
thirsty
swallow
upon
the
next
day
,
and
upon
the
day
after
that
,
and
upon
the
day
after
that
,
and
upon
many
pleasant
days
,
to
hear
discourses
?
”
(
This
,
with
a
cow-like
lightness
.
)
Jo
,
whose
immediate
object
seems
to
be
to
get
away
on
any
terms
,
gives
a
shuffling
nod
.
Mr.
Guppy
then
throws
him
a
penny
,
and
Mrs.
Snagsby
calls
to
Guster
to
see
him
safely
out
of
the
house
.
But
,
before
he
goes
down
stairs
,
Mr.
Snagsby
loads
him
with
some
broken
meats
from
the
table
,
which
he
carries
away
,
hugging
in
his
arms
.
So
,
Mr.
Chadband
—
of
whom
the
persecutors
say
that
it
is
no
wonder
he
should
go
on
for
any
length
of
time
uttering
such
abominable
nonsense
,
but
that
the
wonder
rather
is
that
he
should
ever
leave
off
,
having
once
the
audacity
to
begin
—
retires
into
private
life
until
he
invests
a
little
capital
of
supper
in
the
oil-trade
.
Jo
moves
on
,
through
the
long
vacation
,
down
to
Blackfriars
Bridge
,
where
he
finds
a
baking
stony
corner
,
wherein
to
settle
to
his
repast
.
And
there
he
sits
,
munching
and
gnawing
,
and
looking
up
at
the
great
Cross
on
the
summit
of
St.
Paul
's
Cathedral
,
glittering
above
a
red
and
violet-tinted
cloud
of
smoke
.
From
the
boy
's
face
one
might
suppose
that
sacred
emblem
to
be
,
in
his
eyes
,
the
crowning
confusion
of
the
great
,
confused
city
;
so
golden
,
so
high
up
,
so
far
out
of
his
reach
.
There
he
sits
,
the
sun
going
down
,
the
river
running
fast
,
the
crowd
flowing
by
him
in
two
streams
—
everything
moving
on
to
some
purpose
and
to
one
end
—
until
he
is
stirred
up
,
and
told
to
“
move
on
”
too
.
CHAPTER
XX
.
A
NEW
LODGER
.
THE
long
vacation
saunters
on
towards
term-time
,
like
an
idle
river
very
leisurely
strolling
down
a
flat
country
to
the
sea
.
Mr.
Guppy
saunters
along
with
it
congenially
.
He
has
blunted
the
blade
of
his
penknife
,
and
broken
the
point
off
,
by
sticking
that
instrument
into
his
desk
in
every
direction
.
Not
that
he
bears
the
desk
any
ill
will
,
but
he
must
do
something
,
and
it
must
be
something
of
an
unexciting
nature
,
which
will
lay
neither
his
physical
nor
his
intellectual
energies
under
too
heavy
contribution
.
He
finds
that
nothing
agrees
with
him
so
well
,
as
to
make
little
gyrations
on
one
leg
of
his
stool
,
and
stab
his
desk
,
and
gape
.
Kenge
and
Carboy
are
out
of
town
,
and
the
articled
clerk
has
taken
out
a
shooting
license
and
gone
down
to
his
father
's
,
and
Mr.
Guppy
's
two
fellow
stipendiaries
are
away
on
leave
.
Mr.
Guppy
,
and
Mr.
Richard
Carstone
,
divide
the
dignity
of
the
office
.
But
Mr.
Carstone
is
for
the
time
being
established
in
Kenge
's
room
,
whereat
Mr.
Guppy
chafes
.
So
exceedingly
,
that
he
with
biting
sarcasm
informs
his
mother
,
in
the
confidential
moments
when
he
sups
with
her
off
a
lobster
and
lettuce
,
in
the
Old
Street
Road
,
that
he
is
afraid
the
office
is
hardly
good
enough
for
swells
,
and
that
if
he
had
known
there
was
a
swell
coming
,
he
would
have
got
it
painted
.
Mr.
Guppy
suspects
everybody
who
enters
on
the
occupation
of
a
stool
in
Kenge
and
Carboy
's
office
,
of
entertaining
,
as
a
matter
of
course
,
sinister
designs
upon
him
.
He
is
clear
that
every
such
person
wants
to
depose
him
.
If
he
be
ever
asked
how
,
why
,
when
,
or
wherefore
,
he
shuts
up
one
eye
and
shakes
his
head
.
On
the
strength
of
these
profound
views
,
he
in
the
most
ingenious
manner
takes
infinite
pains
to
counterplot
,
when
there
is
no
plot
;
and
plays
the
deepest
games
of
chess
without
any
adversary
.
It
is
a
source
of
much
gratification
to
Mr.
Guppy
,
therefore
,
to
find
the
new
comer
constantly
poring
over
the
papers
in
Jarndyce
and
Jarndyce
;
for
he
well
knows
that
nothing
but
confusion
and
failure
can
come
of
that
.
His
satisfaction
communicates
itself
to
a
third
saunterer
through
the
long
vacation
in
Kenge
and
Carboy
's
office
;
to
wit
,
Young
Smallweed
.
Whether
Young
Smallweed
(
metaphorically
called
Small
and
eke
Chick
Weed
,
as
it
were
jocularly
to
express
a
fledgling
,
)
was
ever
a
boy
,
is
much
doubted
in
Lincoln
's
Inn
.
He
is
now
something
under
fifteen
,
and
an
old
limb
of
the
law
.
He
is
facetiously
understood
to
entertain
a
passion
for
a
lady
at
a
cigar
shop
,
in
the
neighbourhood
of
Chancery
Lane
,
and
for
her
sake
to
have
broken
off
a
contract
with
another
lady
,
to
whom
he
had
been
engaged
some
years
.
He
is
a
town-made
article
,
of
small
stature
and
weazen
features
;
but
may
be
perceived
from
a
considerable
distance
by
means
of
his
very
tall
hat
.
To
become
a
Guppy
is
the
object
of
his
ambition
.
He
dresses
at
that
gentleman
(
by
whom
he
is
patronized
)
,
talks
at
him
,
walks
at
him
,
founds
himself
entirely
on
him
.
He
is
honored
with
Mr.
Guppy
's
particular
confidence
,
and
occasionally
advises
him
,
from
the
deep
wells
of
his
experience
,
on
difficult
points
in
private
life
.
Mr.
Guppy
has
been
lolling
out
of
window
all
the
morning
,
after
trying
all
the
stools
in
succession
and
finding
none
of
them
easy
,
and
after
several
times
putting
his
head
into
the
iron
safe
with
a
notion
of
cooling
it
.
Mr.
Smallweed
has
been
twice
dispatched
for
effervescent
drinks
,
and
has
twice
mixed
them
in
the
two
official
tumblers
and
stirred
them
up
with
the
ruler
.
Mr.
Guppy
propounds
,
for
Mr.
Smallweed
's
consideration
,
the
paradox
that
the
more
you
drink
the
thirstier
you
are
;
and
reclines
his
head
upon
the
window-sill
in
a
state
of
hopeless
languor
.
While
thus
looking
out
into
the
shade
of
Old
Square
,
Lincoln
's
Inn
,
surveying
the
intolerable
bricks
and
mortar
,
Mr.
Guppy
becomes
conscious
of
a
manly
whisker
emerging
from
the
cloistered
walk
below
,
and
turning
itself
up
in
the
direction
of
his
face
.
At
the
same
time
,
a
low
whistle
is
wafted
through
the
Inn
,
and
a
suppressed
voice
cries
,
“
Hip
!
Gup-py
!
”
“
Why
,
you
do
n't
mean
it
?
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
aroused
.
“
Small
!
Here
's
Jobling
!
”
Small
's
head
looks
out
of
window
too
,
and
nods
to
Jobling
.
“
Where
have
you
sprung
up
from
?
”
enquires
Mr.
Guppy
.
“
From
the
market-gardens
down
by
Deptford
.
I
ca
n't
stand
it
any
longer
.
I
must
enlist
.
I
say
!
I
wish
you
'd
lend
me
half-a-crown
.
Upon
my
soul
I
'm
hungry
.
”
Jobling
looks
hungry
,
and
also
has
the
appearance
of
having
run
to
seed
in
the
market-gardens
down
by
Deptford
.
“
I
say
!
Just
throw
out
half-a-crown
,
if
you
have
got
one
to
spare
.
I
want
to
get
some
dinner
.
”
“
Will
you
come
and
dine
with
me
?
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
throwing
out
the
coin
,
which
Mr.
Jobling
catches
neatly
.
“
How
long
should
I
have
to
hold
out
?
”
says
Jobling
.
“
Not
half
an
hour
.
I
am
only
waiting
here
,
till
the
enemy
goes
,
”
returns
Mr.
Guppy
,
butting
inward
with
his
head
.
“
What
enemy
?
”
“
A
new
one
.
Going
to
be
articled
.
Will
you
wait
?
”
“
Can
you
give
a
fellow
anything
to
read
in
the
meantime
?
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
.
Smallweed
suggests
the
Law
List
.
But
Mr.
Jobling
declares
,
with
much
earnestness
,
that
he
“
ca
n't
stand
it
.
”
“
You
shall
have
the
paper
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
.
“
He
shall
bring
it
down
.
But
you
had
better
not
be
seen
about
here
.
Sit
on
our
staircase
and
read
.
It
's
a
quiet
place
.
”
Jobling
nods
intelligence
and
acquiescence
.
The
sagacious
Smallweed
supplies
him
with
the
newspaper
,
and
occasionally
drops
his
eye
upon
him
from
the
landing
as
a
precaution
against
his
becoming
disgusted
with
waiting
,
and
making
an
untimely
departure
.
At
last
the
enemy
retreats
,
and
then
Smallweed
fetches
Mr.
Jobling
up
.
“
Well
,
and
how
are
you
?
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
shaking
hands
with
him
.
“
So
,
so
.
How
are
you
?
”
Mr.
Guppy
replying
that
he
is
not
much
to
boast
of
,
Mr.
Jobling
ventures
on
the
question
,
“
How
is
she
?
”
This
Mr.
Guppy
resents
as
a
liberty
;
retorting
,
“
Jobling
,
there
are
chords
in
the
human
mind
—
”
Jobling
begs
pardon
.
“
Any
subject
but
that
!
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
with
a
gloomy
enjoyment
of
his
injury
.
“
For
there
are
chords
,
Jobling
—
”
Mr.
Jobling
begs
pardon
again
.
During
this
short
colloquy
,
the
active
Smallweed
,
who
is
of
the
dinner
party
,
has
written
in
legal
characters
on
a
slip
of
paper
,
“
Return
immediately
.
”
This
notification
to
all
whom
it
may
concern
,
he
inserts
in
the
letter-box
;
and
then
putting
on
the
tall
hat
,
at
the
angle
of
inclination
at
which
Mr.
Guppy
wears
his
,
informs
his
patron
that
they
may
now
make
themselves
scarce
.
Accordingly
they
betake
themselves
to
a
neighbouring
dining-house
,
of
the
class
known
among
its
frequenters
by
the
denomination
Slap-Bang
,
where
the
waitress
,
a
bouncing
young
female
of
forty
,
is
supposed
to
have
made
some
impression
on
the
susceptible
Smallweed
;
of
whom
it
may
be
remarked
that
he
is
a
weird
changeling
,
to
whom
years
are
nothing
.
He
stands
precociously
possessed
of
centuries
of
owlish
wisdom
.
If
he
every
lay
in
a
cradle
,
it
seems
as
if
he
must
have
lain
there
in
a
tail-coat
.
He
has
an
old
,
old
eye
,
has
Smallweed
;
and
he
drinks
,
and
smokes
,
in
a
monkeyish
way
;
and
his
neck
is
stiff
in
his
collar
;
and
he
is
never
to
be
taken
in
;
and
he
knows
all
about
it
,
whatever
it
is
.
In
short
,
in
his
bringing
up
,
he
has
been
so
nursed
by
Law
and
Equity
that
he
has
become
a
kind
of
fossil
Imp
,
to
account
for
whose
terrestrial
existence
it
is
reported
at
the
public
offices
that
his
father
was
John
Doe
,
and
his
mother
the
only
female
member
of
the
Roe
family
;
also
that
his
first
long-clothes
were
made
from
a
blue
bag
.
Into
the
Dining
House
,
unaffected
by
the
seductive
show
in
the
window
,
of
artificially
whitened
cauliflowers
and
poultry
,
verdant
baskets
of
peas
,
coolly
blooming
cucumbers
,
and
joints
ready
for
the
spit
,
Mr.
Smallweed
leads
the
way
.
They
know
him
there
,
and
defer
to
him
.
He
has
his
favorite
box
,
he
bespeaks
all
the
papers
,
he
is
down
upon
bald
patriarchs
,
who
keep
them
more
than
ten
minutes
afterwards
.
It
is
of
no
use
trying
him
with
anything
less
than
a
full-sized
“
bread
,
”
or
proposing
to
him
any
joint
in
cut
,
unless
it
is
in
the
very
best
cut
.
In
the
matter
of
gravy
he
is
adamant
.
Conscious
of
his
elfin
power
,
and
submitting
to
his
dread
experience
,
Mr.
Guppy
consults
him
in
the
choice
of
that
day
's
banquet
;
turning
an
appealing
look
toward
him
as
the
waitress
repeats
the
catalogue
of
viands
,
and
saying
“
What
do
you
take
,
Chick
?
”
Chick
,
out
of
the
profundity
of
his
artfulness
,
preferring
“
veal
and
ham
and
French
beans
—
And
do
n't
you
forget
the
stuffing
,
Polly
,
”
(
with
an
unearthly
cock
of
his
venerable
eye
)
;
Mr.
Guppy
and
Mr.
Jobling
give
the
like
order
.
Three
pint
pots
of
half-and-half
are
superadded
.
Quickly
the
waitress
returns
,
bearing
what
is
apparently
a
model
of
the
tower
of
Babel
,
but
what
is
really
a
pile
of
plates
and
flat
tin
dish-covers
.
Mr.
Smallweed
,
approving
of
what
is
set
before
him
,
conveys
intelligent
benignity
into
his
ancient
eye
,
and
winks
upon
her
.
Then
,
amid
a
constant
coming
in
,
and
going
out
,
and
running
about
,
and
a
clatter
of
crockery
,
and
a
rumbling
up
and
down
of
the
machine
which
brings
the
nice
cuts
from
the
kitchen
,
and
a
shrill
crying
for
more
nice
cuts
down
the
speaking-pipe
,
and
a
shrill
reckoning
of
the
cost
of
nice
cuts
that
have
been
disposed
of
,
and
a
general
flush
and
steam
of
hot
joints
,
cut
and
uncut
,
and
a
considerably
heated
atmosphere
in
which
the
soiled
knives
and
table-cloths
seem
to
break
out
spontaneously
into
eruptions
of
grease
and
blotches
of
beer
,
the
lega
triumvirate
appease
their
appetites
.
Mr.
Jobling
is
buttoned
up
closer
than
mere
adornment
might
require
.
His
hat
presents
at
the
rims
a
peculiar
appearance
of
a
glistening
nature
,
as
if
it
had
been
a
favorite
snail-promenade
.
The
same
phenomenon
is
visible
on
some
parts
of
his
coat
,
and
particularly
at
the
seams
.
He
has
the
faded
appearance
of
a
gentleman
in
embarrassed
circumstances
;
even
his
light
whiskers
droop
with
something
of
a
shabby
air
.
His
appetite
is
so
vigorous
,
that
it
suggests
spare
living
for
some
little
time
back
.
He
makes
such
a
speedy
end
of
his
plate
of
veal
and
ham
,
bringing
it
to
a
close
while
his
companions
are
yet
midway
in
theirs
,
that
Mr.
Guppy
proposes
another
.
“
Thank
you
,
Guppy
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
,
“
I
really
do
n't
know
but
what
I
will
take
another
.
”
Another
being
brought
,
he
falls
to
with
great
good
will
.
Mr.
Guppy
takes
silent
notice
of
him
at
intervals
,
until
he
is
half
way
through
this
second
plate
and
stops
to
take
an
enjoying
pull
at
his
pint
pot
of
half-and-half
(
also
renewed
)
,
and
stretches
out
his
legs
and
rubs
his
hands
.
Beholding
him
in
which
glow
of
contentment
,
Mr.
Guppy
says
:
“
You
are
a
man
again
,
Tony
!
”
“
Well
,
not
quite
,
yet
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
.
“
Say
,
just
born
.
”
“
Will
you
take
any
other
vegetables
?
Grass
?
Peas
?
Summer
cabbage
?
”
“
Thank
you
,
Guppy
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
.
“
I
really
do
n't
know
but
what
I
will
take
summer
cabbage
.
”
Order
given
;
with
the
sarcastic
addition
(
from
Mr.
Smallweed
)
of
“
Without
slugs
,
Polly
!
”
And
cabbage
produced
.
“
I
am
growing
up
,
Guppy
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
,
plying
his
knife
and
fork
with
a
relishing
steadiness
.
“
Glad
to
hear
it
.
”
“
In
fact
,
I
have
just
turned
into
my
teens
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
.
He
says
no
more
until
he
has
performed
his
task
,
which
he
achieves
as
Messrs.
Guppy
and
Smallweed
finish
theirs
;
thus
getting
over
the
ground
in
excellent
style
,
and
beating
those
two
gentlemen
easily
by
a
veal
and
ham
and
a
cabbage
.
“
Now
,
Small
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
what
would
you
recommend
about
pastry
?
”
“
Marrow
puddings
,
”
says
Mr.
Smallweed
instantly
.
“
Aye
,
aye
!
”
cries
Mr.
Jobling
,
with
an
arch
look
.
“
You
're
there
,
are
you
?
Thank
you
,
Guppy
,
I
do
n't
know
but
what
I
will
take
a
marrow
pudding
.
”
Three
marrow
puddings
being
produced
,
Mr.
Jobling
adds
,
in
a
pleasant
humour
,
that
he
is
coming
of
age
fast
.
To
these
succeed
,
by
command
of
Mr.
Smallweed
,
“
three
Cheshires
;
”
and
to
those
,
“
three
small
rums
.
”
This
apex
of
the
entertainment
happily
reached
,
Mr.
Jobling
puts
up
his
legs
on
the
carpeted
seat
(
having
his
own
side
of
the
box
to
himself
)
,
leans
against
the
wall
,
and
says
,
“
I
am
grown
up
,
now
,
Guppy
.
I
have
arrived
at
maturity
.
”
“
What
do
you
think
,
now
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
about
—
you
do
n't
mind
Smallweed
?
”
“
Not
the
least
in
the
world
.
I
have
the
pleasure
of
drinking
his
good
health
.
”
“
Sir
,
to
you
!
”
says
Mr.
Smallweed
.
“
I
was
saying
,
what
do
you
think
now
,
”
pursues
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
of
enlisting
?
“
Why
,
what
I
may
think
after
dinner
,
”
returns
Mr.
Jobling
,
“
is
one
thing
,
my
dear
Guppy
,
and
what
I
may
think
before
dinner
is
another
thing
.
Still
,
even
after
dinner
,
I
ask
myself
the
question
,
What
am
I
to
do
?
How
am
I
to
live
?
Ill
so
manger
,
you
know
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
,
pronouncing
that
word
as
if
he
meant
a
necessary
fixture
in
an
English
stable
.
“
Ill
so
manger
.
That
's
the
French
saying
,
and
mangering
is
as
necessary
to
me
as
it
is
to
a
Frenchman
.
Or
more
so
.
”
Mr.
Swallweed
is
decidedly
of
opinion
“
much
more
so
.
”
“
If
any
man
had
told
me
,
”
pursues
Jobling
,
“
even
so
lately
as
when
you
and
I
had
the
frisk
down
in
Lincolnshire
,
Guppy
,
and
drove
over
to
see
that
house
at
Castle
Wold
—
”
Mr.
Smallweed
corrects
him
—
Chesney
Wold
.
“
Chesney
Wold
.
(
I
thank
my
honorable
friend
for
that
cheer
.
)
If
any
man
had
told
me
,
then
,
that
I
should
be
as
hard
up
at
the
present
time
as
I
literally
find
myself
,
I
should
have
—
well
,
I
should
have
pitched
into
him
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
,
taking
a
little
rum-and-water
with
an
air
of
desperate
resignation
;
“
I
should
have
let
fly
at
his
head
.
”
“
Still
,
Tony
,
you
were
on
the
wrong
side
of
the
post
then
,
”
remonstrates
Mr.
Guppy
.
“
You
were
talking
about
nothing
else
in
the
gig
.
”
“
Guppy
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
,
“
I
will
not
deny
it
.
I
was
on
the
wrong
side
of
the
post
.
But
I
trusted
to
things
coming
round
.
”
That
very
popular
trust
in
flat
things
coming
round
!
Not
in
their
being
beaten
round
,
or
worked
round
,
but
in
their
“
coming
”
round
!
As
though
a
lunatic
should
trust
in
the
world
's
“
coming
”
triangular
!
“
I
had
confident
expectations
that
things
would
come
round
and
be
all
square
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
,
with
some
vagueness
of
expression
,
and
perhaps
of
meaning
,
too
.
“
But
I
was
disappointed
.
They
never
did
.
And
when
it
came
to
creditors
making
rows
at
the
office
,
and
to
people
that
the
office
dealt
with
making
complaints
about
dirty
trifles
of
borrowed
money
,
why
there
was
an
end
of
that
connexion
.
And
of
any
new
professional
connexion
,
too
;
for
it
I
was
to
give
a
reference
to-morrow
,
it
would
be
mentioned
,
and
would
sew
me
up
.
Then
,
what
's
a
fellow
to
do
?
I
have
been
keeping
out
of
the
way
,
and
living
cheap
,
down
about
the
market-gardens
;
but
what
's
the
use
of
living
cheap
when
you
have
got
no
money
?
You
might
as
well
live
dear
.
”
“
Better
,
”
Mr.
Swallweed
thinks
.
“
Certainly
.
It
's
the
fashionable
way
;
and
fashion
and
whiskers
have
been
my
weaknesses
,
and
I
do
n't
care
who
knows
it
,
”
says
Mr.
Jobling
.
“
They
are
great
weaknesses
—
Damme
,
sir
,
they
are
great
.
Well
!
”
proceeds
Mr.
Jobling
,
after
a
defiant
visit
to
his
rum-and-water
,
“
what
can
a
fellow
do
,
I
ask
you
,
but
enlist
?
”
Mr.
Guppy
comes
more
fully
into
the
conversation
,
to
state
what
,
in
his
opinion
,
a
fellow
can
do
.
His
manner
is
the
gravely
impressive
manner
of
a
man
who
has
not
committed
himself
in
life
,
otherwise
than
as
he
has
become
the
victim
of
a
tender
sorrow
of
the
heart
.
“
Jobling
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
myself
and
our
mutual
friend
Smallweed
—
”
(
Mr.
Smallweed
modestly
observes
“
Gentlemen
both
!
”
and
drinks
.
)
“
Have
had
a
little
conversation
on
this
matter
more
than
once
,
since
you
—
”
“
Say
,
got
the
sack
!
”
cries
Mr.
Jobling
,
bitterly
.
“
Say
it
,
Guppy
.
You
mean
it
.
”
“
N-o-o
!
Left
the
Inn
,
”
Mr.
Smallweed
delicately
suggests
.
“
Since
you
left
the
Inn
,
Jobling
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
;
“
and
I
have
mentioned
,
to
our
mutual
friend
Smallweed
,
a
plan
I
have
lately
thought
of
proposing
.
You
know
Snagsby
the
stationer
?
”
“
I
know
there
is
such
a
stationer
,
”
returns
Mr.
Jobling
.
“
He
was
not
ours
,
and
I
am
not
acquainted
with
him
.
”
“
He
is
ours
,
Jobling
,
and
I
am
acquainted
with
him
,
”
Mr.
Guppy
retorts
.
“
Well
,
sir
!
I
have
lately
become
better
acquainted
with
him
,
through
some
accidental
circumstances
that
have
made
me
a
visitor
of
his
in
private
life
.
Those
circumstances
it
is
not
necessary
to
offer
in
argument
.
They
may
—
or
they
may
not
—
have
some
reference
to
a
subject
,
which
may
—
or
may
not
—
have
cast
its
shadow
on
my
existence
.
”
As
it
is
Mr.
Guppy
's
perplexing
way
,
with
boastful
misery
to
tempt
his
particular
friends
into
this
subject
,
and
the
moment
they
touch
it
,
to
turn
on
them
with
that
trenchant
severity
about
the
chords
in
the
human
mind
;
both
Mr.
Jobling
and
Mr.
Smallweed
decline
the
pitfall
,
by
remaining
silent
.
“
Such
things
may
be
,
”
repeats
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
or
they
may
not
be
.
They
are
no
part
of
the
case
.
It
is
enough
to
mention
,
that
both
Mr.
and
Mrs.
Snagsby
are
very
willing
to
oblige
me
;
and
that
Snagsby
has
,
in
busy
times
,
a
good
deal
of
copying
work
to
give
out
.
He
has
all
Tulkinghorn
's
,
and
an
excellent
business
besides
.
I
believe
,
if
our
mutual
friend
Smallweed
were
put
into
the
box
,
he
could
prove
this
?
”
Mr.
Smallweed
nods
,
and
appears
greedy
to
be
sworn
.
“
Now
,
gentlemen
of
the
jury
,
”
says
Mr.
Guppy
,
“
—
I
mean
,
now
Jobling
—
you
may
say
this
is
a
poor
prospect
of
