ThatI
should
have
afterwards
changed
my
mind
,
and
answered
the
advertisement
of
the
committee
,
which
appeared
in
the
"
agony
"
column
of
the
'
Times
,
'
who
wanted
to
know
how
I
wished
the
money
applied
,
by
a
request
that
it
should
be
paid
back
to
my
account
at
the
Bank
,
does
not
affect
the
question
;
I
merely
wished
to
show
the
nature
of
my
impulses
,
and
the
readiness
with
which
I
act
upon
them
.
Some
days
elapsed
after
my
arrival
at
Flityville
before
I
felt
moved
to
write
to
Grandon
.
The
fact
is
,
I
was
writing
this
record
of
my
trials
for
the
world
in
general
,
and
did
not
know
what
to
say
to
him
in
particular
.
At
length
,
feeling
that
I
owed
him
an
explanation
,
I
wrote
as
follows
:
—
"
Flityville
,
March
19
.
"
You
are
doubtless
surprised
,
my
dear
fellow
,
"
I
began
,
"
at
my
turning
myself
into
a
hermit
at
this
most
inopportune
season
of
the
year
;
but
the
fact
is
,
that
shortly
after
you
left
Dickiefield
,
I
became
so
deeply
impressed
with
the
responsibility
of
the
great
work
I
had
undertaken
,
that
I
perceived
that
a
period
of
retirement
and
repose
was
absolutely
necessary
with
a
view
to
the
elaboration
of
some
system
which
should
enable
me
to
grapple
with
the
great
moral
and
social
questions
upon
which
I
am
engaged
.
"
Diverting
my
anxious
gaze
from
Christendom
generally
,
I
concentrated
it
upon
my
own
country
,
in
the
hope
that
I
might
discover
the
root
of
its
disease
.
Morbid
activity
of
the
national
brain
,
utterly
deranged
action
of
the
national
heart
.
Those
were
the
symptoms
—
unmistakable
.
Proximate
cause
also
not
difficult
to
arrive
at
.
Due
to
the
noxious
influence
of
tall
chimneys
upon
broad
acres
,
whereby
the
commercial
effluvium
of
the
Plutocracy
has
impregnated
the
upper
atmosphere
,
and
overpowered
the
enfeebled
and
enervated
faculties
of
the
aristocracy
;
lust
of
gain
has
supervened
upon
love
of
ease
.
Hence
the
utter
absence
of
those
noble
and
generous
impulses
which
are
the
true
indications
of
healthy
national
life
.
Expediency
has
taken
the
place
of
principle
;
conscience
has
been
crushed
out
of
the
system
by
calculation
.
The
life-blood
of
the
country
,
instead
of
bounding
along
its
veins
,
creeps
sluggishly
through
them
,
till
it
threatens
to
stagnate
altogether
,
and
congestion
becomes
imminent
.
"
Looked
at
from
what
I
may
term
'
externals
,
'
we
simply
present
to
the
world
at
large
the
ignoble
spectacle
of
a
nation
of
usurers
trembling
over
our
money-bags
;
looked
at
from
internals
,
I
perceive
that
we
are
suffering
from
a
moral
opiate
,
to
the
action
of
which
I
attribute
the
unhappy
complaints
that
I
have
endeavoured
to
describe
.
This
pernicious
narcotic
has
been
absorbed
by
us
for
hundreds
of
years
unsuspected
and
unperceived
under
the
guise
of
a
popular
theology
.
We
have
become
so
steeped
in
the
insane
delusion
,
now
many
centuries
old
,
that
we
are
a
Christian
nation
,
that
I
anticipate
with
dread
the
reaction
which
will
take
place
when
men
awaken
to
the
true
character
of
the
religious
quackery
with
which
they
have
been
duped
,
and
,
overlooking
in
their
frenzy
the
distinction
which
exists
between
ancient
and
modern
Christianity
,
will
repudiate
the
former
with
horror
,
which
,
after
all
,
does
not
deserve
to
be
condemned
,
for
it
has
never
yet
been
tried
as
a
political
system
in
any
country
.
Individuals
only
profess
to
be
theoretically
governed
by
it
.
Nor
would
it
be
possible
,
as
society
is
at
present
constituted
,
for
any
man
to
carry
out
its
principles
in
daily
life
.
That
any
statesman
would
be
instantly
ruined
who
should
openly
announce
that
he
intended
to
govern
the
country
on
purely
Christian
principles
,
may
be
made
clear
to
the
simplest
comprehension
.
For
instance
,
imagine
our
Foreign
Minister
getting
up
in
the
House
of
Commons
and
justifying
his
last
stroke
of
foreign
policy
upon
the
ground
that
we
should
'
love
our
neighbours
better
than
ourselves
,
or
penning
a
despatch
to
any
power
that
we
felt
'
persecuted
'
by
blessing
it
.
When
do
we
even
do
good
to
anybody
in
our
national
capacity
,
much
less
to
them
'
that
hate
us
'
?
We
certainly
pray
like
Chinamen
when
we
want
to
propitiate
an
angry
Deity
about
the
cattle-plague
;
but
who
ever
heard
of
'
a
form
of
prayer
to
be
used
'
for
nations
'
who
despitefully
use
us
.
'
Fancy
the
Chancellor
of
the
Exchequer
informing
us
that
instead
of
laying
up
for
the
nation
treasures
upon
earth
,
he
proposed
realising
all
that
the
country
possessed
and
giving
it
to
the
poor
.
Christian
Churchmen
and
statesmen
do
not
therefore
sufficiently
believe
in
the
power
and
efficacy
of
the
Christian
moral
code
to
trust
the
nation
to
it
alone
.
Hence
they
have
invented
ecclesiastical
organisations
and
theological
dogmas
as
anodynes
;
and
the
people
have
been
lulled
into
security
by
the
singular
notion
,
that
if
they
supported
the
one
and
professed
to
believe
in
the
other
,
they
were
different
from
either
Mohammedans
or
Bhuddists
.
In
a
word
,
it
is
the
curse
of
England
that
its
intellect
can
see
truths
which
its
heart
will
not
embody
.
The
more
I
think
of
it
the
more
I
am
disposed
to
risk
the
assertion
,
that
if
,
as
is
supposed
,
the
moral
code
called
Christian
is
divine
,
it
is
only
not
practicable
,
literally
,
by
the
nation
for
lack
of
national
heart-faith
.
I
tell
you
this
in
confidence
,
for
I
am
already
considered
so
wild
and
visionary
upon
all
these
matters
,
and
so
thoroughly
unsound
,
that
I
should
not
like
it
to
be
generally
known
,
for
fear
of
its
injuring
my
political
prospects
.
In
the
mean
time
it
will
very
much
assist
me
in
arriving
at
some
of
my
conclusions
,
if
you
will
kindly
procure
for
me
,
from
any
leading
member
of
the
Legislature
,
lay
or
clerical
,
answers
to
the
following
questions
:
—
"
First
,
Whether
Jonah
could
possibly
have
had
anything
to
say
to
Nineveh
which
would
not
apply
with
equal
force
to
this
Christian
metropolis
?
—
and
if
so
,
What
?
"
Second
,
Specify
the
sins
which
were
probably
committed
in
Chorazin
or
Bethsaida
,
but
which
have
not
yet
been
perpetrated
in
London
.
"
Third
,
As
statecraft
(
assisted
by
priestcraft
)
consists
not
in
making
the
State
better
but
richer
,
explain
why
it
is
easier
for
a
collection
of
rich
men
—
called
a
nation
—
to
be
saved
,
than
for
a
camel
to
go
through
the
eye
of
a
needle
,
but
not
so
easy
for
one
man
.
"
Fourth
,
Does
the
saying
that
the
love
of
money
is
the
root
of
all
evil
apply
to
a
nation
as
well
as
to
an
individual
?
—
and
if
not
,
how
does
it
happen
that
the
more
we
accumulate
wealth
,
the
more
we
increase
poverty
and
misery
and
crime
?
"
That
is
enough
for
the
present
.
But
oh
!
what
a
string
of
questions
I
could
propound
to
these
stumbling
pagans
,
stupefied
by
the
fatuous
superstition
that
their
country
is
safer
than
other
countries
which
have
come
to
judgment
,
because
they
are
called
by
a
particular
name
!
Is
there
among
them
all
not
the
faintest
consciousness
of
an
impending
doom
?
or
is
the
potency
of
the
drug
such
that
it
is
impossible
to
raise
a
cry
loud
enough
to
rouse
them
?
Why
will
they
go
on
vainly
trying
to
solve
the
impossible
problem
of
Government
,
never
seeing
that
whatever
system
is
introduced
is
merely
a
rearrangement
of
sinners
;
that
voters
are
like
cards
—
the
more
you
shuffle
them
the
dirtier
they
get
;
and
that
it
is
of
no
use
agitating
for
a
reform
in
the
franchise
without
first
agitating
for
a
reform
in
the
consciences
of
those
who
are
to
exercise
it
,
and
in
the
fundamental
principles
of
the
policy
upon
which
we
are
to
be
governed
.
"
Wisely
saith
the
greatest
poet
of
the
age
,
as
yet
,
alas
!
unknown
to
fame
:
—
"
Reformers
fail
because
they
change
the
letter
,
And
not
the
spirit
,
of
the
world
's
design
.
Tyrant
and
slave
create
the
scourge
and
fetter
—
As
is
the
worshipper
,
will
be
the
shrine
.
The
ideal
fails
,
though
perfect
were
the
plan
,
World-harmony
springs
through
the
perfect
man
.
We
burn
out
life
in
hot
impatient
striving
;
We
dash
ourselves
against
the
hostile
spears
:
The
bale-tree
,
that
our
naked
hands
are
riving
,
Unites
to
crush
us
.
Ere
our
manhood
's
years
,
We
sow
the
rifled
blossoms
of
the
prime
,
Then
fruitlessly
are
gathered
out
of
time
.
We
seek
to
change
souls
all
unripe
for
changes
;
We
build
upon
a
treacherous
human
soil
Of
moral
quicksand
,
and
the
world
avenges
Its
crime
upon
us
,
while
we
vainly
toil
.
In
the
black
coal-pit
of
the
popular
heart
Rain
falls
,
light
kindles
,
but
no
flowers
upstart
.
Know
this
!
For
men
of
ignoble
affection
,
The
social
scheme
that
is
,
were
better
far
Than
the
orbed
sun
's
most
exquisite
perfection
,
Man
needs
not
heaven
till
he
revolves
a
star
.
Why
seek
to
win
the
mad
world
from
its
strife
?
Grow
perfect
in
the
sanity
of
life
.
"
[
2
]
"
Ah
,
my
dear
friend
!
how
often
,
from
my
humble
seat
below
the
gangway
,
have
I
gazed
upon
the
Treasury
Bench
,
and
wondered
how
it
was
that
right
hon.
gentlemen
,
struggling
to
retain
their
dignity
by
sitting
on
each
other
's
knees
,
did
not
perceive
that
the
reason
why
great
reforms
perpetually
fail
is
,
not
because
they
have
not
their
root
in
some
radical
injustice
—
not
because
the
despotisms
against
which
they
rise
are
in
themselves
right
—
but
because
those
who
attempt
to
inaugurate
new
and
better
conditions
upon
the
surfaces
of
society
are
themselves
,
for
the
most
part
,
desolate
,
darkened
,
and
chaotic
within
!
I
am
under
the
impression
,
therefore
,
that
no
reform-agitation
will
ever
do
good
which
is
not
preceded
by
an
agitation
,
throughout
the
length
and
breadth
of
the
land
,
in
favour
of
the
introduction
,
for
the
first
time
,
of
this
old
original
moral
code
,
not
merely
into
the
government
of
the
country
,
but
into
the
life
of
every
individual
.
Unless
that
is
done
,
and
done
speedily
,
those
who
are
now
morally
stupefied
will
die
in
their
torpor
,
and
the
rest
who
are
harmless
lunatics
will
become
gibbering
and
shrieking
demoniacs
.
—
Yours
affectionately
,
"
F
.
V.
"
I
had
become
so
absorbed
by
the
train
of
considerations
into
which
I
had
been
led
,
that
I
never
thought
of
mentioning
to
Grandon
the
circumstances
which
attended
my
departure
from
Dickiefield
.
It
was
not
until
after
I
had
posted
my
letter
that
it
occurred
to
me
how
singular
,
considering
the
last
words
which
passed
between
us
,
this
silence
would
appear
.
If
to
be
odd
has
its
drawbacks
,
it
also
has
its
advantages
;
and
I
felt
that
Grandon
would
be
as
unable
to
draw
any
conclusions
from
my
silence
as
from
any
other
erratic
act
of
my
life
.
After
all
,
what
could
I
have
said
?
It
will
be
time
,
I
thought
,
to
venture
upon
that
very
delicate
ground
when
I
get
his
reply
.
But
this
I
was
destined
never
to
receive
,
and
the
questions
I
had
propounded
are
likely
to
remain
unanswered
,
for
on
the
very
next
day
I
received
the
following
telegram
from
Lady
Broadhem
:
—
"
Your
immediate
presence
here
is
absolutely
necessary
.
Delay
will
be
fatal
.
"
Mary
Broadhem
.
"
Grosvenor
Square
,
20th
March
.
"
PART
III
.
SUICIDE
.
Piccadilly
,
April
.
Considering
the
extent
to
which
I
have
been
digressing
,
it
will
be
perhaps
desirable
,
before
I
plunge
again
into
the
stormy
current
of
my
narrative
,
to
define
in
a
few
words
what
,
in
the
language
of
diplomacy
,
is
termed
"
the
situation
.
"
After
I
have
done
so
,
I
shall
feel
much
obliged
if
you
will
kindly
"
grasp
"
it
.
Briefly
,
it
is
as
follows
:
I
am
telegraphed
for
in
frantic
terms
by
an
old
lady
who
is
under
the
firm
impression
that
I
am
engaged
to
be
married
to
her
daughter
.
I
am
violently
in
love
with
that
daughter
,
but
for
certain
reasons
I
have
felt
it
my
duty
to
account
for
my
extraordinary
conduct
by
informing
her
confidentially
that
I
have
occasional
fits
of
temporary
insanity
.
That
daughter
,
I
am
positively
assured
by
her
mother
,
is
no
less
violently
attached
to
my
most
dear
and
intimate
friend
.
My
most
dear
and
intimate
friend
returns
the
affection
.
Mamma
threatens
that
if
I
do
not
marry
her
daughter
,
rather
than
allow
my
most
dear
and
intimate
friend
to
do
so
,
she
will
ally
the
young
lady
to
an
affluent
native
of
Bombay
.
So
much
is
known
.
On
the
following
points
I
am
still
in
the
dark
:
—
First
,
What
on
earth
does
Lady
Broadhem
mean
by
telling
me
to
come
immediately
,
as
delay
may
be
fatal
?
—
to
whom
?
to
me
or
to
Lady
Ursula
,
or
herself
?
My
knowledge
of
her
ladyship
induces
me
to
incline
towards
the
latter
hypothesis
;
the
suspense
is
,
however
,
none
the
less
trying
.
Second
,
Does
Lady
Ursula
imagine
that
I
know
how
she
and
Grandon
feel
towards
each
other
?
Third
,
Is
Grandon
under
the
impression
that
I
have
actually
proposed
and
been
accepted
by
Lady
Ursula
?
Fourth
,
Does
my
conduct
occasionally
amount
to
something
more
than
eccentricity
or
not
?
Fifth
—
and
this
was
very
unpleasant
—
Shall
I
find
Grandon
at
our
joint
abode
?
And
if
so
,
what
shall
I
say
to
him
?
Sixth
,
Have
Grandon
and
Lady
Ursula
met
,
and
did
anything
pass
between
them
?
Thank
goodness
Grandon
was
at
the
House
.
So
,
after
a
hurried
toilet
,
I
went
on
to
Grosvenor
Square
.
The
young
ladies
were
both
out
.
Lady
Bridget
had
taken
advantage
of
the
chaperonage
of
a
newly-married
rather
fast
female
cousin
,
to
go
to
a
ball
.
Lady
Ursula
had
gone
to
a
solitary
tea
with
a
crabbed
old
aunt
.
Lady
Broadhem
was
in
her
own
sitting-room
,
lying
on
a
couch
behind
a
table
covered
with
papers
.
She
looked
wearily
up
when
I
entered
,
and
held
out
a
thin
hand
for
me
to
do
what
I
liked
with
.
"
How
good
of
you
to
come
,
dear
Frank
!
"
she
said
.
It
was
the
first
time
she
had
ever
called
me
Frank
,
and
I
knew
she
expected
me
to
acknowledge
it
by
pressing
her
fingers
,
so
I
squeezed
them
affectionately
.
"
Broadhem
said
if
I
wanted
to
make
sure
of
you
I
ought
to
have
brought
Ursula
's
name
into
the
telegraph
,
but
I
told
him
her
mother
's
would
do
as
well
.
"
"
What
does
the
—
—
"
I
am
afraid
I
mentally
said
'
old
girl
'
—
"
want
,
I
wonder
?
It
must
be
really
serious
,
or
she
would
have
shammed
agitation
.
There
is
something
about
this
oily
calm
which
is
rather
portentous
.
Then
she
has
taken
care
to
have
every
member
of
the
family
out
of
the
house
.
What
is
she
ringing
the
bell
for
now
?
"
"
Tell
Lady
Ursula
when
she
comes
home
that
I
am
engaged
particularly
,
and
will
come
up
and
see
her
in
her
bedroom
before
she
goes
to
bed
,
"
said
Lady
Broadhem
to
the
servant
who
answered
it
.
"
Does
not
Lady
Ursula
know
of
my
having
come
to
town
in
answer
to
your
summons
?
"
I
asked
.
"
No
,
dear
child
;
why
should
I
inflict
my
troubles
upon
her
?
Even
Broadhem
,
to
whom
I
was
obliged
to
speak
more
openly
,
only
suspects
the
real
state
of
the
case
.
I
have
reserved
my
full
confidence
for
my
future
son-in-law
.
"
I
lifted
up
my
eyes
with
a
rapturous
expression
,
and
played
with
a
paper-knife
.
She
wanted
me
to
help
her
on
with
an
obvious
remark
,
which
I
declined
to
make
;
so
,
after
a
pause
,
she
went
on
,
with
a
deep
sigh
,
—
—
"
What
sad
news
we
keep
on
getting
of
those
poor
dear
Confederates
,
Frank
!
"
"
Let
us
hope
they
will
recover
,
"
said
I
,
encouragingly
.
"
Oh
,
but
they
do
keep
on
falling
so
,
it
is
quite
dreadful
.
"
"
There
was
no
great
number
of
them
fell
at
Wilmington
.
"
"
How
stupid
I
am
!
"
she
said
;
"
my
poor
mind
gets
quite
bewildered
.
I
was
thinking
of
stock
,
not
men
;
they
went
down
again
three
more
yesterday
,
and
my
broker
declines
altogether
to
carry
them
on
from
one
account
to
another
any
more
.
I
bought
at
60
,
and
they
have
done
nothing
but
go
down
ever
since
.
I
generally
go
by
Lord
Staggerton
's
advice
,
and
he
recommended
me
to
sell
a
bear
some
months
ago
;
but
that
stupid
little
Spiffy
Goldtip
insisted
that
it
was
only
a
temporary
depression
,
and
now
he
says
how
could
he
know
that
President
Davis
would
replace
Johnston
by
Hood
.
"
"
Very
tiresome
of
Davis
:
but
you
should
have
employed
more
than
one
broker
,
"
I
remarked
.
"
Persons
of
limited
capital
and
speculative
tendencies
should
operate
mysteriously
.
Your
right
hand
should
not
know
what
your
left
hand
is
doing
.
"
"
Hush
,
Frank
!
you
can
surely
be
business-like
without
being
profane
.
I
was
completely
in
Spiffy
's
hands
;
Lady
Mundane
told
me
she
always
let
him
do
for
her
,
and
"
—
here
Lady
Broadhem
lowered
her
voice
—
"
I
know
he
has
access
to
the
best
sources
of
information
.
I
used
to
employ
Staggerton
,
but
he
is
so
selfish
that
he
never
told
me
the
best
things
;
besides
which
,
of
course
,
I
was
obliged
to
have
him
constantly
to
dinner
;
and
his
great
delight
was
always
to
say
things
which
were
calculated
to
shock
my
religious
friends
.
Moreover
,
he
has
lately
been
doing
more
as
a
promoter
of
new
companies
than
in
buying
and
selling
.
Now
Spiffy
is
so
very
useful
in
society
,
and
has
so
much
tact
,
that
although
there
are
all
kinds
of
stories
against
him
,
still
I
did
not
think
there
was
any
sufficient
reason
to
shut
him
out
of
the
house
.
There
was
quite
a
set
made
against
the
poor
little
man
at
one
time
—
worldly
people
are
so
hard
and
uncharitable
;
so
,
partly
for
the
sake
of
his
aunt
,
Lady
Spiffington
,
who
was
my
dear
friend
,
and
partly
,
indeed
,
because
Staggerton
had
really
become
useless
and
intolerable
,
I
put
my
affairs
entirely
into
Spiffy
's
hands
.
"
"
And
the
result
is
?
"
I
asked
.
"
That
I
must
pay
up
—
27
,
000
to-morrow
,
"
said
Lady
Broadhem
,
with
the
impenitent
sigh
of
a
hardened
criminal
.
"
You
should
have
kept
his
lordship
to
act
as
a
check
on
the
Honourable
Spiffington
,
"
I
said
;
"
but
I
cannot
advise
now
,
unless
I
know
everything
.
"
A
faint
tinge
suffused
Lady
Broadhem
's
cheek
as
she
said
,
"
What
more
do
you
want
to
know
?
"
"
Exactly
what
money
you
possess
,
and
exactly
how
it
is
invested
.
"
"
I
do
n't
see
that
that
is
at
all
necessary
.
Here
is
Spiffington
's
letter
,
from
which
you
will
see
how
much
I
must
pay
to-morrow
;
my
assurance
that
I
cannot
produce
so
large
a
sum
at
such
short
notice
is
enough
.
"
"
You
can
surely
have
no
difficulty
in
finding
some
one
who
would
lend
you
the
money
,
provided
you
were
to
pay
a
sufficiently
high
rate
of
interest
.
"
The
tinge
which
had
not
left
Lady
Broadhem
's
cheek
deepened
as
she
answered
me
,
"
Frank
,
it
was
on
no
hasty
impulse
that
I
telegraphed
for
you
.
I
do
not
feel
bound
to
enter
into
all
the
details
of
my
private
affairs
,
but
I
do
feel
that
if
there
is
one
man
in
the
world
upon
whom
,
at
such
a
crisis
,
I
have
a
right
to
rely
,
it
is
he
to
whom
I
have
promised
my
daughter
,
and
who
professes
to
be
devotedly
attached
to
her
.
"
"
In
short
,
Lady
Broadhem
,
"
said
I
,
rising
and
taking
up
my
hat
,
"
you
are
willing
to
part
with
your
daughter
to
me
on
condition
of
my
paying
a
first
instalment
of
—
27
,
000
down
,
with
the
prospect
of
'
calls
'
to
an
unlimited
extent
looming
in
the
background
.
I
doubt
whether
you
will
find
Chundango
prepared
to
go
into
such
a
very
hazardous
speculation
,
but
I
should
recommend
you
to
apply
to
him
.
"
At
that
moment
I
heard
Lady
Ursula
's
voice
in
the
hall
,
and
the
rustle
of
her
dress
as
she
went
up-stairs
.
I
was
on
my
way
to
the
door
,
but
I
stopped
abruptly
,
and
turned
upon
Lady
Broadhem
.
She
was
saying
something
to
which
I
was
not
attending
,
but
now
was
suddenly
paralysed
and
silenced
as
I
looked
at
her
fixedly
.
If
a
glance
can
convey
meaning
,
I
flatter
myself
my
eyes
were
not
devoid
of
expression
at
that
moment
.
"
What
!
"
I
thought
,
"
is
it
reserved
for
the
mother
of
the
girl
I
love
to
make
me
call
her
'
a
hazardous
speculation
'
?
"
It
is
impossible
for
me
to
describe
the
intensity
of
the
hatred
which
I
felt
at
this
moment
for
the
woman
who
had
caused
me
for
one
second
to
think
of
Ursula
as
a
marketable
commodity
,
who
should
be
offered
for
purchase
to
an
Oriental
adventurer
.
The
only
being
I
despised
more
than
Lady
Broadhem
was
myself
;
—
because
she
chose
to
take
my
angel
off
the
pedestal
on
which
I
had
placed
her
and
throw
her
into
the
dirt
,
was
I
calmly
to
acquiesce
in
the
proceeding
?
The
storm
raging
within
me
seemed
gradually
to
blind
me
to
external
objects
;
my
great
love
was
battling
with
remorse
,
indignation
,
and
despair
;
and
I
stood
wavering
and
distracted
,
looking
,
as
it
were
,
within
for
rest
and
without
for
comfort
,
till
the
light
seemed
to
leave
my
eyes
,
and
the
fire
which
had
flashed
from
them
for
a
moment
became
suddenly
extinguished
.
I
was
recalled
to
consciousness
by
an
exclamation
from
Lady
Broadhem
.
"
Heavens
,
Frank
,
do
n't
stare
so
wildly
—
you
quite
frighten
me
!
I
have
only
asked
for
your
advice
,
and
you
make
use
of
expressions
and
fly
off
in
a
manner
which
nothing
but
the
excitability
of
your
temperament
can
excuse
.
I
assure
you
I
am
worried
enough
without
having
my
cares
added
to
by
your
unkindness
.
There
,
if
you
want
to
know
the
exact
state
of
my
affairs
,
look
through
my
papers
—
you
will
find
I
am
a
woman
of
business
;
and
I
have
got
an
accurate
list
which
I
shall
be
able
to
explain
.
Of
course
all
the
more
important
original
documents
are
at
my
solicitor
's
.
"
I
sat
moodily
down
without
answering
this
semi-conciliatory
,
semi-plaintive
speech
.
I
did
not
even
take
the
trouble
to
analyse
it
.
I
felt
morally
and
physically
exhausted
.
The
long
journey
,
the
suspense
,
and
this
dénouement
,
had
prostrated
me
.
I
took
up
the
papers
Lady
Broadhem
offered
me
,
and
turned
them
vacantly
over
.
I
read
the
list
,
but
failed
to
attach
any
meaning
to
the
items
over
which
my
gaze
listlessly
wandered
.
I
felt
that
Lady
Broadhem
was
watching
me
curiously
,
but
every
effort
I
made
to
grasp
the
details
before
me
failed
hopelessly
.
At
last
I
threw
the
packet
down
in
despair
,
and
,
leaning
over
the
table
,
clasped
my
bursting
forehead
with
my
hands
.
"
Dear
Frank
,
"
said
Lady
Broadhem
,
and
for
the
first
time
her
voice
betrayed
signs
of
genuine
emotion
,
"
I
know
I
have
been
very
imprudent
,
but
I
did
it
all
for
the
best
.
You
can
understand
now
why
I
hesitated
to
tell
you
everything
at
first
.
You
do
n't
know
how
much
it
has
cost
me
,
and
to
what
means
I
am
obliged
to
resort
to
keep
up
my
courage
;
besides
,
I
have
got
into
such
a
habit
of
concealment
that
I
could
not
bear
that
even
you
should
know
the
desperate
state
of
our
affairs
,
though
I
had
no
idea
that
in
so
short
a
time
you
could
have
unravelled
such
complicated
accounts
and
arrived
at
the
terrible
result
.
Perhaps
you
would
like
me
to
leave
you
for
a
few
moments
.
I
will
go
and
say
good-night
to
Ursula
,
whom
I
heard
going
up-stairs
just
now
.
"
I
heard
Lady
Broadhem
leave
the
room
,
but
did
not
raise
my
head
,
and
indeed
only
slowly
comprehended
the
purport
of
her
last
speech
.
As
it
dawned
upon
me
,
the
hopelessness
of
the
whole
situation
seemed
to
overwhelm
me
.
Chaos
and
ruin
like
gaunt
spectres
stared
me
in
the
face
!
What
mattered
it
if
the
Broadhem
family
were
bankrupt
in
estate
,
if
I
was
to
become
bankrupt
in
mind
?
What
matter
if
they
lost
all
their
worldly
possessions
?
Had
I
not
lost
all
hope
of
Ursula
since
I
had
heard
of
her
attachment
to
Grandon
,
and
with
her
every
generous
impulse
of
my
nature
?
Why
should
I
save
the
family
,
even
if
I
could
?
Why
in
this
desert
of
my
existence
spend
a
fortune
on
an
oasis
I
was
forbidden
ever
to
enter
or
enjoy
?
Why
should
I
bring
offerings
to
the
shrine
at
which
I
might
never
worship
?
The
whole
temple
that
enclosed
it
was
tottering
.
Instead
of
helping
to
prop
it
up
,
why
not
,
like
Samson
,
drag
it
down
and
let
it
bury
me
in
its
ruin
?
I
threw
myself
on
the
couch
from
which
Lady
Broadhem
had
risen
,
and
,
turning
my
face
to
the
wall
,
longed
with
an
intense
desire
for
an
eternal
release
.
At
that
moment
my
hand
,
which
I
had
thrust
under
the
pillow
,
came
in
contact
with
something
hard
and
cold
.
I
drew
it
out
,
and
was
startled
to
find
that
it
was
a
small
vial
labelled
"
POISON
.
"
I
am
not
naturally
superstitious
,
but
this
immediate
response
to
my
thoughts
seemed
an
indication
so
direct
as
to
be
almost
supernatural
.
I
had
hardly
framed
in
definite
terms
the
idea
of
a
suicide
which
should
at
once
end
my
agony
,
when
the
means
thereto
were
actually
placed
in
my
very
hand
.
Even
had
I
doubted
,
the
inward
sense
,
the
inspiration
to
which
I
trust
,
and
which
has
never
yet
failed
me
,
said
,
Drink
!
It
even
whispered
aloud
,
Drink
!
From
every
corner
of
the
room
came
soft
pleasant
murmurs
of
the
same
word
.
Beautiful
sirens
floating
round
me
bade
me
drink
.
Every
thought
of
moral
evil
vanished
in
connection
with
this
final
act
.
I
looked
forward
with
rapture
to
the
long
sleep
before
me
,
and
with
a
smile
of
the
most
intense
and
fervent
gratitude
I
raised
the
bottle
to
my
lips
.
I
remember
thinking
at
the
moment
,
"
The
smile
is
very
important
—
it
shall
play
upon
my
lips
to
the
end
.
Ursula
,
I
die
happy
,
for
my
last
thought
is
,
that
in
the
spirit
I
shall
soon
revisit
thee
,
"
and
the
liquid
trickled
slowly
down
my
throat
.
It
was
not
until
I
had
drained
the
last
drop
that
I
suddenly
recognised
the
taste
.
It
was
the
"
pick-me-up
"
I
always
get
at
Harris
's
,
the
apothecary
in
St
James
's
Street
,
when
my
fit
of
nervous
exhaustion
come
on
,
but
there
seemed
rather
more
of
the
spirituous
ingredient
in
it
than
usual
.
The
life-stream
began
to
tingle
back
through
all
my
fibres
—
my
miseries
took
grotesque
forms
.
"
Ha
!
ha
!
Lady
Broadhem
!
the
means
you
take
to
keep
up
your
courage
,
which
you
so
delicately
alluded
to
just
now
,
have
come
in
most
opportunely
.
What
a
fool
I
was
to
make
mountains
out
of
molehills
,
and
call
the
little
ills
of
life
miseries
!
We
will
soon
see
what
these
little
imprudences
are
the
old
lady
talks
of
.
"
And
I
took
up
the
papers
with
a
hand
rapidly
becoming
steady
,
and
glanced
over
them
with
an
eye
no
longer
confused
and
dim
.
Oh
the
pleasure
of
the
sensation
of
this
gradual
recovery
of
vigour
of
mind
and
force
of
body
!
I
was
engaged
in
this
task
,
and
making
the
most
singular
and
startling
discoveries
,
the
nature
of
which
I
shall
shortly
disclose
,
when
I
heard
Lady
Broadhem
coming
down-stairs
.
I
felt
so
angry
with
her
for
having
been
the
means
of
tempting
me
to
commit
a
great
sin
,
and
for
the
trouble
she
was
causing
me
generally
,
that
I
followed
the
first
impulse
which
my
imagination
suggested
as
the
best
means
of
revenging
myself
upon
her
.
Accordingly
,
when
the
door
opened
,
she
found
me
stretched
at
full
length
on
the
sofa
,
my
form
rigid
,
my
face
fixed
,
my
eyes
staring
,
my
hands
clenched
,
and
my
whole
attitude
as
nearly
that
of
a
person
in
a
fit
as
I
had
time
to
make
it
.
"
Gracious
,
what
is
the
matter
?
"
said
she
.
My
lips
seemed
with
difficulty
to
form
the
word
"
poison
.
"
"
Frank
,
speak
to
me
!
"
and
she
seized
my
hand
,
which
was
not
so
cold
as
I
could
have
wished
it
,
but
which
fell
helplessly
by
my
side
as
she
let
it
drop
.
"
Poison
!
"
I
this
time
muttered
audibly
.
"
Where
did
you
get
it
?
"
said
she
,
snappishly
.
For
it
began
to
dawn
upon
her
that
I
was
not
poisoned
at
all
,
but
had
discovered
her
secret
.
I
turned
my
thumb
languidly
in
the
direction
of
under
the
pillow
.
She
hastily
thrust
in
her
hand
and
pulled
out
the
empty
bottle
.
"
You
fool
"
—
she
actually
used
this
expression
;
I
have
heard
other
ladies
do
the
same
—
"
you
fool
,
"
and
she
was
literally
furious
,
"
what
did
you
go
poking
under
the
pillow
for
?
You
are
no
more
poisoned
than
I
am
;
it
is
a
draught
I
am
obliged
to
take
for
nervous
depression
,
and
your
imagination
has
almost
frightened
you
into
a
fit
.
I
put
'
poison
'
on
it
to
keep
the
servants
from
prying
.
Come
,
get
up
,
be
a
man
—
do
,
"
and
Lady
Broadhem
gave
me
her
hand
,
in
consideration
for
my
weakness
to
help
myself
up
by
.
"
Dearest
Lady
Broadhem
,
"
said
I
,
pressing
it
to
my
lips
,
"
I
cannot
tell
what
comfort
you
give
me
.
I
was
just
beginning
to
regret
the
world
I
thought
I
was
about
to
leave
for
ever
,
when
your
assurance
that
I
have
not
taken
poison
,
but
a
tonic
,
makes
me
feel
as
grateful
to
you
as
if
you
had
saved
my
life
.
I
confess
that
,
when
I
found
that
you
considered
your
affairs
to
be
so
desperate
that
you
had
provided
the
most
effectual
mode
of
escape
from
them
,
I
envied
the
superior
foresight
which
you
had
displayed
,
and
determined
to
repair
my
error
.
If
it
is
worth
dear
Lady
Broadhem
's
while
to
poison
herself
,
I
thought
,
it
is
surely
worth
mine
.
But
,
after
all
,
suicide
is
a
cowardly
act
either
in
a
man
or
a
woman
;
better
far
face
the
ills
of
life
with
the
aid
of
stimulants
,
than
fly
for
refuge
in
the
agony
of
a
financial
crisis
to
the
shop
of
an
apothecary
.
"
"
You
are
an
incomprehensible
creature
,
Frank
,
"
said
Lady
Broadhem
;
"
I
am
sure
I
hope
for
her
own
sake
that
Ursula
will
understand
you
better
than
I
do
;
but
as
your
humours
are
uncertain
,
and
you
seem
able
to
go
into
these
affairs
now
,
I
think
we
had
better
not
waste
any
more
time
;
only
I
do
wish
"
(
with
a
wistful
glance
at
the
bottle
)
"
you
would
provide
yourself
with
your
own
draughts
in
future
.
"
"
How
lucky
,
"
thought
I
,
as
I
put
on
a
business-like
air
,
and
methodically
began
arranging
the
papers
according
to
their
docquets
.
"
Now
,
if
it
had
been
just
the
other
way
,
and
her
ladyship
had
taken
the
draught
instead
of
me
,
how
completely
I
should
have
been
at
her
mercy
?
Now
I
am
master
of
the
situation
.
"
"
'
Greek
loan
,
thirty
thousand
,
'
"
I
read
,
going
down
the
list
;
"
I
am
afraid
this
is
rather
a
losing
business
.
I
see
they
have
been
already
held
over
for
some
months
.
I
suppose
some
of
the
—
27
,
000
is
to
be
absorbed
there
.
"
"
Yes
,
"
said
Lady
Broadhem
;
"
because
if
I
can
carry
on
for
another
fortnight
,
I
have
got
information
which
makes
it
certain
I
shall
recover
on
them
.
"
"
What
is
this
?
five
hundred
pounds
'
worth
of
dollar
bonds
?
"
I
went
on
.
"
Oh
,
I
only
lost
a
few
pounds
on
them
.
I
bought
them
at
threepence
apiece
and
sold
them
at
twopence
.
Spiffy
got
me
to
take
them
off
his
hands
,
and
,
in
fact
,
made
a
great
favour
of
it
,
as
he
says
there
is
nothing
people
make
money
more
surely
out
of
than
dollar
bonds
.
"
"
Bubbs
's
Eating-house
and
Cigar
Divan
Company
,
Holborn
.
Well
,
there
is
a
strong
direction
.
How
do
you
come
by
so
many
shares
?
"
"
Lord
Staggerton
was
one
of
the
promoters
,
and
had
them
allotted
to
me
,
"
said
Lady
Broadhem
.
"
He
also
was
kind
enough
to
put
me
into
two
Turkish
baths
,
a
monster
hotel
,
and
a
music-hall
.
You
will
see
that
I
lost
heavily
in
the
Turkish
baths
and
the
hotel
,
but
the
music-hall
is
paying
well
.
Spiffy
says
I
ought
never
to
stay
so
long
in
anything
as
I
do
;
in
and
out
again
,
if
it
is
only
half
a
per
cent
,
is
his
system
;
but
Staggerton
used
to
look
after
my
interests
,
and
managed
them
very
successfully
.
I
am
afraid
that
all
my
troubles
commenced
when
I
quarrelled
with
him
.
He
is
now
promoting
two
companies
which
I
hear
most
highly
spoken
of
,
but
he
says
I
must
take
my
chance
with
others
about
shares
,
and
he
wo
n't
advise
me
in
the
matter
.
One
is
'
The
Metropolitan
Crossing-Sweeping
Company
,
'
of
which
he
's
to
be
chairman
,
and
the
other
is
the
'
Seaside
Bathing-Machine
Company
.
'
Spiffy
says
they
will
both
fail
,
because
Staggerton
has
not
the
means
of
having
them
properly
brought
out
.
Bodwinkle
wo
n't
speak
to
him
,
and
unless
either
he
or
the
Credit
Foncier
bring
a
thing
out
,
there
is
not
the
least
chance
of
its
taking
with
the
public
.
They
do
n't
so
much
look
at
the
merits
of
the
speculation
as
at
the
way
in
which
it
is
put
before
them
;
and
with
this
system
of
rigging
the
market
,
so
many
people
go
in
like
me
only
to
get
out
again
,
that
it
is
becoming
more
and
more
difficult
every
day
to
start
anything
new
.
Oh
dear
,
"
said
Lady
Broadhem
,
"
how
exhausted
it
always
makes
me
to
talk
'
City
!
'
I
only
want
to
show
you
that
I
understand
what
I
am
about
,
and
that
if
you
can
only
help
to
tide
me
over
this
crisis
,
something
will
surely
turn
up
a
prize
.
"
"
I
know
you
disapprove
of
cards
,
but
perhaps
you
will
allow
me
to
suggest
the
word
'
trump
'
as
being
more
expressive
than
'
prize
,
'
"
I
said
.
"
Well
,
now
we
have
got
through
the
companies
,
what
have
we
here
?
Why
,
Lady
Broadhem
,
you
have
positively
taken
no
less
than
seven
unfurnished
houses
this
year
.
What
on
earth
do
you
intend
to
do
with
them
all
?
"
"
My
dear
Frank
,
where
have
you
been
living
for
the
last
few
years
?
Do
with
them
?
Exactly
what
dozens
of
smart
people
,
with
very
little
to
live
on
,
do
with
houses
—
let
them
,
to
be
sure
.
I
made
—
1100
last
year
in
four
houses
,
and
all
by
adding
it
on
to
the
premiums
.
I
do
n't
like
furnishing
and
putting
it
in
the
rent
.
In
the
first
place
,
one
is
apt
to
have
disagreeable
squabbles
about
the
furniture
,
which
,
however
good
you
give
people
,
they
always
say
is
shabby
;
and
in
the
second
,
you
get
much
more
into
the
hands
of
the
house-agents
.
"
"
Well
,
but
,
"
I
said
,
"
here
is
one
of
the
largest
houses
in
London
—
rent
,
unfurnished
,
—
1500
a-year
.
That
is
rather
hazardous
:
who
do
you
expect
will
take
that
?
"
"
Oh
,
that
is
the
safest
speculation
of
them
all
,
"
said
Lady
Broadhem
.
"
I
had
an
infinity
of
trouble
to
get
it
.
Spiffy
first
suggested
the
plan
to
me
,
and
we
found
it
succeed
admirably
last
year
.
It
was
we
who
brought
out
Mrs
Gorgon
Tompkins
and
her
daughters
.
She
took
the
house
from
me
at
my
own
rent
on
condition
that
Spiffy
managed
her
balls
,
and
got
all
the
best
people
in
London
to
go
to
them
.
This
year
we
are
going
to
bring
out
the
Bodwinkles
.
It
will
be
much
easier
,
because
she
is
young
,
and
has
no
family
.
He
,
you
know
,
is
a
man
of
immense
wealth
in
the
City
—
in
fact
,
as
I
said
before
,
his
name
is
almost
essential
to
the
success
of
any
new
company
.
I
told
his
wife
I
could
have
nothing
to
do
with
them
unless
he
came
into
Parliament
,
for
they
are
horridly
vulgar
,
and
they
were
bound
to
do
what
they
could
for
themselves
before
I
could
think
of
taking
them
up
.
Lady
Mundane
positively
refused
to
have
anything
to
do
with
them
,
and
,
in
fact
,
I
live
so
little
in
the
world
,
though
I
keep
it
up
to
some
extent
for
the
sake
of
my
girls
,
that
it
was
quite
an
accident
my
hearing
of
them
.
Now
,
however
,
he
has
got
into
the
House
of
Commons
,
and
it
is
arranged
that
she
is
to
take
the
house
,
and
Bodwinkle
is
to
help
Spiffy
in
City
matters
,
on
condition
that
he
gets
all
Lady
Mundane
's
list
to
her
first
party
.
Poor
Spiffy
is
a
little
nervous
,
as
Bodwinkle
actually
wanted
to
put
it
in
writing
on
a
stamped
paper
;
but
he
is
so
immensely
useful
to
society
,
that
the
least
people
can
do
is
to
be
good-natured
on
an
occasion
of
this
kind
.
"
"
No
fear
of
them
,
"
said
I
;
"
if
Bodwinkle
is
the
only
man
who
can
launch
a
company
in
the
City
,
no
one
can
compete
with
Spiffy
in
launching
a
snob
in
Mayfair
.
But
I
thought
you
never
went
to
balls
.
"
"
I
never
do
;
but
because
I
do
not
approve
of
dancing
,
there
is
no
reason
why
I
should
not
let
houses
for
the
purpose
.
You
might
as
well
say
a
religious
banker
ought
not
to
open
an
account
with
a
theatre
,
or
a
good
brewer
live
by
his
beer
,
because
some
people
drink
too
much
of
it
.
If
any
one
was
to
leave
a
gin-palace
to
me
in
a
legacy
,
I
should
not
refuse
the
rent
.
"
"
Any
more
than
you
do
the
interest
of
your
shares
in
the
music-hall
.
And
now
,
"
said
I
,
coolly
,
gathering
up
all
her
papers
and
putting
them
in
my
pocket
,
"
as
it
is
past
one
o'clock
,
and
I
see
you
are
tired
,
I
will
take
these
away
with
me
,
and
let
you
know
to-morrow
what
I
think
had
better
be
done
under
the
circumstances
.
"
"
What
are
you
doing
,
Frank
?
what
an
unheard-of
proceeding
!
I
insist
upon
your
leaving
my
papers
here
.
"
"
If
I
do
,
you
must
look
elsewhere
for
the
money
.
No
,
Lady
Broadhem
"
—
I
felt
that
my
moral
ascendancy
was
increasing
every
moment
,
and
that
I
should
never
have
such
another
opportunity
of
establishing
it
—
"
we
had
better
understand
each
other
clearly
.
You
regard
me
at
this
moment
in
the
light
of
your
future
son-in-law
,
and
in
that
capacity
expect
me
to
extricate
you
and
your
family
from
your
financial
difficulties
.
Now
I
am
quite
capable
of
'
behaving
badly
,
'
as
the
world
calls
it
,
at
the
shortest
notice
.
I
told
you
at
Dickiefield
that
I
was
totally
without
principle
,
and
we
are
both
trusting
to
Ursula
to
reform
me
.
But
I
will
relinquish
the
pleasure
of
paying
your
debts
,
and
the
advantage
of
being
reformed
by
your
daughter
,
unless
you
agree
to
my
terms
.
"
"
And
they
are
?
"
said
her
ladyship
,
doggedly
.
"
First
,
that
from
this
evening
you
put
the
entire
management
of
your
affairs
into
my
hands
,
and
,
as
a
preliminary
measure
,
allow
me
to
take
away
these
papers
,
giving
me
a
note
to
your
lawyer
authorising
him
to
follow
my
instructions
in
everything
;
and
,
secondly
,
that
you
never
,
under
any
pretence
,
enter
into
any
company
or
speculation
of
any
kind
except
with
my
permission
.
"
A
glance
of
very
evil
meaning
shot
across
her
ladyship
's
eyes
as
they
met
mine
after
this
speech
,
but
I
frightened
it
away
by
the
savageness
of
my
gaze
,
till
she
was
literally
obliged
to
put
her
hand
up
to
her
forehead
.
The
crisis
was
exciting
me
,
for
Ursula
was
at
stake
,
and
it
was
just
possible
my
conditions
might
be
refused
;
but
I
felt
the
magnetism
of
my
will
concentrating
itself
in
my
eyes
as
if
they
were
burning-glasses
.
It
seemed
to
dash
itself
upon
the
reefs
and
barriers
of
Lady
Broadhem
's
rocky
nature
;
the
inner
forces
of
our
organisms
were
engaged
in
a
decisive
struggle
for
the
mastery
;
but
the
field
of
battle
was
in
her
,
not
in
me
.
I
had
invaded
the
enemy
's
country
,
and
her
frontier
was
as
long
and
difficult
to
defend
as
ours
is
in
Canada
.
So
I
kept
on
pouring
in
mesmeric
reinforcements
,
as
she
sat
with
her
head
bent
,
and
her
whole
moral
being
in
turmoil
.
Never
before
had
any
man
ventured
to
dictate
to
this
veteran
campaigner
.
The
late
Lord
had
been
accustomed
to
regard
her
as
infallible
,
and
Broadhem
has
not
yet
known
the
pleasures
of
independence
.
She
never
had
friends
who
were
not
servile
,
or
permitted
herself
to
be
contradicted
,
except
by
a
few
privileged
ecclesiastics
,
and
then
only
in
unctuous
and
deprecatory
tones
.
That
I
,
of
whom
the
world
was
accustomed
to
speak
in
terms
of
compassion
,
and
whom
she
inwardly
despised
at
this
moment
,
should
stand
over
her
more
unyielding
and
imperious
than
herself
,
caused
her
to
experience
a
sensation
nearly
allied
to
suffocation
.
I
seemed
instinctively
to
follow
the
mental
processes
through
which
she
was
passing
,
and
a
certain
consciousness
that
I
did
so
demoralised
her
.
Now
,
I
felt
,
she
is
going
to
take
me
to
task
in
a
"
sweet
Christian
spirit
"
about
the
state
of
my
soul
,
and
I
brought
up
"
will
"
reinforcements
which
I
poured
down
upon
her
brain
through
the
parting
of
her
front
,
till
she
backed
suddenly
out
of
the
position
,
and
took
up
a
hostile
,
I
might
almost
say
an
abusive
,
attitude
.
Here
again
I
met
her
with
such
a
shower
of
invective
,
"
uttered
not
,
yet
comprehended
,
"
that
after
a
silent
contest
she
gave
this
up
too
,
and
finally
fell
back
on
the
flat
rejection
of
me
and
my
money
altogether
.
This
,
I
confess
,
was
the
critical
moment
.
She
took
her
hand
down
when
she
came
to
this
mental
resolution
,
and
she
looked
at
me
,
I
thought
,
but
it
might
have
been
imagination
,
demoniacally
.
What
had
I
to
oppose
to
it
?
My
love
for
Ursula
?
No
;
that
would
soften
me
.
My
aversion
to
Lady
Broadhem
?
No
;
for
it
was
not
so
great
as
hers
for
me
.
For
a
moment
I
wavered
;
my
will
seemed
paralysed
;
her
gaze
was
becoming
fascinating
,
while
mine
was
getting
clouded
,
till
a
mist
seemed
to
conceal
her
from
me
altogether
.
And
now
,
at
the
risk
of
being
misunderstood
and
ridiculed
,
I
feel
bound
to
describe
exactly
the
most
remarkable
occurrence
of
my
life
.
At
that
moment
I
saw
distinctly
,
in
the
luminous
haze
which
surrounded
me
,
a
fiery
cross
.
I
have
already
said
that
objects
of
this
kind
often
appeared
to
me
in
the
dark
,
apropos
of
nothing
;
but
upon
no
former
occasion
had
a
lighted
room
become
dim
,
and
a
vision
manifested
itself
within
which
seemed
to
answer
to
the
involuntary
invocation
for
assistance
that
I
made
when
I
found
the
powers
of
my
own
will
beginning
utterly
to
fail
me
;
and
,
what
was
still
more
strange
,
never
before
had
any
such
manifestation
effected
an
immediate
revolution
in
my
sentiments
.
Up
to
that
moment
I
had
been
internally
fierce
and
overbearing
in
my
resolution
to
subdue
the
nature
with
which
I
was
contending
,
and
I
was
actually
defeated
when
I
received
this
supernatural
indication
of
assistance
.
Before
the
dazzling
vision
had
vanished
,
it
had
conveyed
its
lesson
of
self-sacrifice
,
and
created
within
me
a
new
impulse
,
under
the
influence
of
which
I
solemnly
vowed
that
if
I
triumphed
now
I
should
use
my
victory
for
the
good
not
only
of
those
I
loved
,
but
of
her
then
sitting
before
me
.
The
demon
of
my
own
nature
,
which
had
evidently
been
struggling
with
the
demon
of
hers
,
suddenly
deserted
me
,
and
his
place
seemed
occupied
by
an
angel
of
light
,
furnishing
me
with
the
powers
of
exorcism
,
which
were
to
be
gained
only
at
the
sacrifice
of
self
.
My
very
breath
seemed
instantly
charged
with
prayers
for
her
,
at
the
moment
I
felt
she
regarded
me
with
loathing
and
hate
.
An
ineffable
calm
pervaded
my
whole
being
.
A
sense
of
happiness
and
gratitude
deprived
the
consciousness
of
the
conquest
which
I
had
gained
of
any
sentiment
of
exultation
;
on
the
contrary
,
I
felt
gentle
and
subdued
myself
—
anxious
to
soothe
and
comfort
her
with
that
consolation
I
had
just
experienced
.
Ah
,
Lady
Broadhem
!
at
that
moment
,
had
I
not
been
in
the
presence
of
a
"
saint
,
"
I
should
have
fallen
upon
my
knees
.
Perhaps
as
it
was
I
might
have
done
so
,
had
she
not
suddenly
leant
back
exhausted
.
"
Frank
,
"
she
said
,
"
I
seem
to
have
been
dreaming
.
I
am
subject
to
fits
of
violent
nervous
depression
,
and
the
agitation
of
this
scene
has
completely
overcome
me
;
my
brain
seems
stunned
,
and
all
my
faculties
have
become
torpid
.
I
can
think
of
nothing
more
now
,
do
what
you
like
;
all
I
want
is
to
go
to
sleep
.
If
you
ring
the
bell
in
that
corner
,
Jenkins
will
come
down
.
Good-night
;
I
shall
see
you
to-morrow
.
Take
the
papers
with
you
.
"
I
took
Lady
Broadhem
's
hand
—
it
was
cold
and
clammy
—
and
held
it
till
her
maid
came
down
.
She
had
already
fallen
into
a
half-mesmeric
sleep
,
but
was
not
conscious
of
her
condition
.
I
saw
her
safely
on
her
way
to
her
bedroom
on
the
arm
of
her
maid
,
and
left
the
house
with
my
pockets
full
of
papers
,
more
fresh
and
invigorated
than
I
had
felt
for
weeks
.
A
new
light
had
indeed
dawned
upon
me
.
For
the
first
time
one
of
these
"
hallucinations
,
"
as
medical
men
usually
term
them
,
to
which
I
am
subject
,
had
contained
a
lesson
.
Not
only
had
I
profited
from
it
upon
the
spot
,
but
it
had
suggested
to
me
an
entirely
new
line
of
conduct
in
the
great
question
which
most
nearly
affected
my
own
happiness
,
and
seemed
to
guarantee
me
the
strength
of
will
and
moral
courage
which
should
enable
me
to
carry
it
out
.
As
I
walked
home
,
with
the
piercing
March
wind
cutting
me
through
,
solemn
thoughts
and
earnest
aspirations
arose
within
me
,
and
,
struggling
into
existence
amid
the
wreck
that
seemed
to
strew
the
disturbed
chambers
of
my
brain
,
came
the
prayer
of
an
old
saint
,
which
,
in
years
gone
by
,
had
fixed
itself
permanently
in
some
vacant
niche
of
my
mind
:
—
"
Great
God
!
I
ask
Thee
for
no
meaner
pelf
,
Than
that
I
may
not
disappoint
myself
,
That
in
my
actions
I
may
soar
as
high
As
I
can
now
discern
with
this
clear
eye
;
And
next
in
value
what
Thy
kindness
lends
,
That
I
may
greatly
disappoint
my
friends
,
Howe'er
they
think
or
hope
that
it
might
be
,
They
may
not
dream
how
Thou'st
distinguished
me
;
That
my
weak
hand
may
equal
my
firm
faith
,
And
my
life
practise
more
than
my
tongue
saith
;
That
my
low
conduct
may
not
show
,
Nor
my
relenting
lines
,
That
I
Thy
purpose
did
not
know
,
Or
overrated
Thy
designs
.
"
Time
alone
will
show
whether
the
project
I
formed
under
the
new
influences
which
were
now
controlling
me
,
will
ever
be
realised
.
There
is
one
point
which
I
have
in
common
with
Archimedes
,
—
my
most
brilliant
inspirations
very
often
come
to
me
in
my
tub
,
or
while
I
am
dressing
.
On
the
morning
following
the
scene
above
described
,
I
trusted
to
this
moment
to
furnish
me
with
an
idea
which
should
enable
me
to
put
my
plan
into
operation
,
but
I
sought
in
vain
.
In
the
first
place
,
though
I
assumed
in
the
presence
of
Lady
Broadhem
a
thorough
knowledge
of
the
peculiar
description
of
the
transaction
in
which
she
was
engaged
,
I
feel
bound
not
to
conceal
from
my
readers
that
I
have
made
it
a
rule
through
life
to
confine
my
knowledge
of
business
strictly
to
theory
,
and
though
I
am
as
thoroughly
conversant
with
the
terms
of
the
Stock
Exchange
as
with
the
language
of
the
swell
mob
,
I
avoid
,
in
ordinary
life
,
making
use
either
of
one
or
the
other
.
Hence
I
have
always
treated
debentures
,
stock
,
scrip
,
coupons
,
and
all
the
jargon
connected
with
such
money-making
and
money-losing
contrivances
,
as
pertaining
to
the
abstract
science
of
finance
;
nor
do
I
ever
desire
to
know
anything
of
them
practically
,
feeling
assured
that
the
information
thus
acquired
is
of
a
character
calculated
to
exercise
an
injurious
influence
upon
the
moral
nature
.
I
do
not
for
a
moment
wish
to
reflect
upon
those
honest
individuals
who
devote
their
whole
lives
to
the
acquisition
of
money
and
nothing
else
.
Had
one
of
my
own
ancestors
not
done
so
,
I
should
not
now
be
the
millionaire
I
am
,
and
able
to
write
thus
of
the
pursuit
of
wealth
.
But
let
no
man
tell
me
that
the
supreme
indifference
to
it
which
I
entertain
,
does
not
place
me
upon
a
higher
platform
than
a
gold-hunter
can
possibly
aspire
to
.
When
,
therefore
,
I
looked
forward
to
an
interview
with
the
Honourable
Spiffington
Goldtip
,
I
felt
that
I
incurred
a
very
serious
responsibility
.
Not
being
versed
in
the
Capel
Court
standard
of
morality
,
or
being
in
the
habit
of
treading
those
delicate
lines
upon
which
Spiffy
had
learnt
to
balance
himself
so
gracefully
,
I
might
,
instead
of
doing
him
good
,
be
the
means
of
encouraging
him
in
that
pecuniary
scramble
which
enabled
him
to
gain
a
precarious
livelihood
.
"
After
all
,
"
I
thought
,
"
why
not
hover
about
the
City
with
one
's
hands
full
of
gold
,
as
one
used
to
after
dinner
at
Greenwich
,
when
showers
of
copper
delighted
the
ragged
crowd
beneath
,
and
have
the
fun
of
seeing
all
the
mud-larking
Spiffys
,
fashionable
and
snobbish
,
scrambling
in
wild
confusion
,
and
rolling
fraternally
over
each
other
in
the
dirt
?
If
I
ca
n't
convert
them
,
if
I
must
be
'
done
'
by
them
,
I
will
'
do
'
to
them
as
I
would
be
'
done
'
by
;
and
rather
than
leave
them
to
perish
,
will
adopt
an
extreme
measure
,
and
keep
on
suffocating
them
with
the
mud
they
delight
to
revel
in
,
till
they
cry
aloud
for
help
.
What
a
pleasure
it
would
be
to
wash
Spiffy
all
over
afterwards
,
and
start
him
fresh
and
sweet
in
a
new
line
of
life
!
"
As
I
said
before
,
I
was
in
my
tub
myself
as
I
made
this
appropriate
reflection
;
then
my
thoughts
involuntarily
reverted
to
Chundango
.
When
I
had
threatened
Lady
Broadhem
with
the
mercenary
spirit
of
that
distinguished
Oriental
,
I
inwardly
doubted
whether
,
indeed
,
it
were
possible
for
her
to
propose
any
pecuniary
sacrifice
which
he
was
not
prepared
to
make
,
in
order
to
gain
the
social
prize
upon
which
he
had
set
his
heart
;
and
I
dreaded
lest
I
should
have
driven
her
in
despair
to
have
recourse
to
this
"
dark
"
alternative
,
—
whether
,
in
order
to
save
the
Broadhem
family
from
ruin
and
disgrace
—
for
I
suspected
that
the
papers
I
had
carried
away
contained
evidence
that
the
one
was
as
possible
as
the
other
—
Ursula
would
accede
to
the
pressure
of
the
family
generally
,
and
of
her
mother
in
particular
,
whose
wish
none
of
her
children
had
ever
dared
to
thwart
,
was
a
consideration
which
caused
me
acute
anxiety
.
I
must
prepare
myself
shortly
for
a
conversation
on
the
subject
with
Grandon
.
What
should
I
say
to
him
?
Granting
that
the
means
occasionally
justify
the
end
,
which
I
do
not
admit
,
what
would
be
the
use
of
making
a
false
statement
either
in
the
sense
that
I
was
,
or
that
I
was
not
,
going
to
marry
Ursula
?
If
I
said
I
was
,
he
would
think
me
a
traitor
and
her
a
jilt
;
if
I
said
I
was
not
,
I
must
go
on
and
tell
him
that
the
family
would
be
ruined
and
disgraced
,
or
that
she
must
marry
Chundango
to
save
it
.
He
would
obtain
comfort
neither
way
.
He
had
evidently
not
seen
the
Broadhems
,
and
was
therefore
sure
now
to
be
in
blissful
ignorance
that
anything
has
happened
at
all
.
Better
leave
him
so
.
If
he
is
convinced
that
Ursula
loves
him
,
he
would
never
dream
of
her
accepting
me
.
Even
had
our
acquaintance
been
longer
than
it
was
,
before
I
was
so
mad
as
to
think
of
proposing
to
her
,
the
best
thing
I
can
do
is
certainly
to
hold
my
tongue
;
but
then
,
I
thought
,
how
will
he
account
for
my
reserve
?
what
can
he
think
except
that
it
arises
from
an
unworthy
motive
?
—
and
I
brushed
my
hair
viciously
.
At
