LADY
AUDLEY
'S
SECRET
By
Mary
Elizabeth
Braddon
CHAPTER
I
.
LUCY
.
It
lay
down
in
a
hollow
,
rich
with
fine
old
timber
and
luxuriant
pastures
;
and
you
came
upon
it
through
an
avenue
of
limes
,
bordered
on
either
side
by
meadows
,
over
the
high
hedges
of
which
the
cattle
looked
inquisitively
at
you
as
you
passed
,
wondering
,
perhaps
,
what
you
wanted
;
for
there
was
no
thorough-fare
,
and
unless
you
were
going
to
the
Court
you
had
no
business
there
at
all
.
At
the
end
of
this
avenue
there
was
an
old
arch
and
a
clock
tower
,
with
a
stupid
,
bewildering
clock
,
which
had
only
one
hand
—
and
which
jumped
straight
from
one
hour
to
the
next
—
and
was
therefore
always
in
extremes
.
Through
this
arch
you
walked
straight
into
the
gardens
of
Audley
Court
.
A
smooth
lawn
lay
before
you
,
dotted
with
groups
of
rhododendrons
,
which
grew
in
more
perfection
here
than
anywhere
else
in
the
county
.
To
the
right
there
were
the
kitchen
gardens
,
the
fish-pond
,
and
an
orchard
bordered
by
a
dry
moat
,
and
a
broken
ruin
of
a
wall
,
in
some
places
thicker
than
it
was
high
,
and
everywhere
overgrown
with
trailing
ivy
,
yellow
stonecrop
,
and
dark
moss
.
To
the
left
there
was
a
broad
graveled
walk
,
down
which
,
years
ago
,
when
the
place
had
been
a
convent
,
the
quiet
nuns
had
walked
hand
in
hand
;
a
wall
bordered
with
espaliers
,
and
shadowed
on
one
side
by
goodly
oaks
,
which
shut
out
the
flat
landscape
,
and
circled
in
the
house
and
gardens
with
a
darkening
shelter
.
The
house
faced
the
arch
,
and
occupied
three
sides
of
a
quadrangle
.
It
was
very
old
,
and
very
irregular
and
rambling
.
The
windows
were
uneven
;
some
small
,
some
large
,
some
with
heavy
stone
mullions
and
rich
stained
glass
;
others
with
frail
lattices
that
rattled
in
every
breeze
;
others
so
modern
that
they
might
have
been
added
only
yesterday
.
Great
piles
of
chimneys
rose
up
here
and
there
behind
the
pointed
gables
,
and
seemed
as
if
they
were
so
broken
down
by
age
and
long
service
that
they
must
have
fallen
but
for
the
straggling
ivy
which
,
crawling
up
the
walls
and
trailing
even
over
the
roof
,
wound
itself
about
them
and
supported
them
.
The
principal
door
was
squeezed
into
a
corner
of
a
turret
at
one
angle
of
the
building
,
as
if
it
were
in
hiding
from
dangerous
visitors
,
and
wished
to
keep
itself
a
secret
—
a
noble
door
for
all
that
—
old
oak
,
and
studded
with
great
square-headed
iron
nails
,
and
so
thick
that
the
sharp
iron
knocker
struck
upon
it
with
a
muffled
sound
,
and
the
visitor
rung
a
clanging
bell
that
dangled
in
a
corner
among
the
ivy
,
lest
the
noise
of
the
knocking
should
never
penetrate
the
stronghold
.
A
glorious
old
place
.
A
place
that
visitors
fell
in
raptures
with
;
feeling
a
yearning
wish
to
have
done
with
life
,
and
to
stay
there
forever
,
staring
into
the
cool
fish-ponds
and
counting
the
bubbles
as
the
roach
and
carp
rose
to
the
surface
of
the
water
.
A
spot
in
which
peace
seemed
to
have
taken
up
her
abode
,
setting
her
soothing
hand
on
every
tree
and
flower
,
on
the
still
ponds
and
quiet
alleys
,
the
shady
corners
of
the
old-fashioned
rooms
,
the
deep
window-seats
behind
the
painted
glass
,
the
low
meadows
and
the
stately
avenues
—
ay
,
even
upon
the
stagnant
well
,
which
,
cool
and
sheltered
as
all
else
in
the
old
place
,
hid
itself
away
in
a
shrubbery
behind
the
gardens
,
with
an
idle
handle
that
was
never
turned
and
a
lazy
rope
so
rotten
that
the
pail
had
broken
away
from
it
,
and
had
fallen
into
the
water
.
A
noble
place
;
inside
as
well
as
out
,
a
noble
place
—
a
house
in
which
you
incontinently
lost
yourself
if
ever
you
were
so
rash
as
to
attempt
to
penetrate
its
mysteries
alone
;
a
house
in
which
no
one
room
had
any
sympathy
with
another
,
every
chamber
running
off
at
a
tangent
into
an
inner
chamber
,
and
through
that
down
some
narrow
staircase
leading
to
a
door
which
,
in
its
turn
,
led
back
into
that
very
part
of
the
house
from
which
you
thought
yourself
the
furthest
;
a
house
that
could
never
have
been
planned
by
any
mortal
architect
,
but
must
have
been
the
handiwork
of
that
good
old
builder
,
Time
,
who
,
adding
a
room
one
year
,
and
knocking
down
a
room
another
year
,
toppling
down
a
chimney
coeval
with
the
Plantagenets
,
and
setting
up
one
in
the
style
of
the
Tudors
;
shaking
down
a
bit
of
Saxon
wall
,
allowing
a
Norman
arch
to
stand
here
;
throwing
in
a
row
of
high
narrow
windows
in
the
reign
of
Queen
Anne
,
and
joining
on
a
dining-room
after
the
fashion
of
the
time
of
Hanoverian
George
I
,
to
a
refectory
that
had
been
standing
since
the
Conquest
,
had
contrived
,
in
some
eleven
centuries
,
to
run
up
such
a
mansion
as
was
not
elsewhere
to
be
met
with
throughout
the
county
of
Essex
.
Of
course
,
in
such
a
house
there
were
secret
chambers
;
the
little
daughter
of
the
present
owner
,
Sir
Michael
Audley
,
had
fallen
by
accident
upon
the
discovery
of
one
.
A
board
had
rattled
under
her
feet
in
the
great
nursery
where
she
played
,
and
on
attention
being
drawn
to
it
,
it
was
found
to
be
loose
,
and
so
removed
,
revealed
a
ladder
,
leading
to
a
hiding-place
between
the
floor
of
the
nursery
and
the
ceiling
of
the
room
below
—
a
hiding-place
so
small
that
he
who
had
hid
there
must
have
crouched
on
his
hands
and
knees
or
lain
at
full
length
,
and
yet
large
enough
to
contain
a
quaint
old
carved
oak
chest
,
half
filled
with
priests
'
vestments
,
which
had
been
hidden
away
,
no
doubt
,
in
those
cruel
days
when
the
life
of
a
man
was
in
danger
if
he
was
discovered
to
have
harbored
a
Roman
Catholic
priest
,
or
to
have
mass
said
in
his
house
.
The
broad
outer
moat
was
dry
and
grass-grown
,
and
the
laden
trees
of
the
orchard
hung
over
it
with
gnarled
,
straggling
branches
that
drew
fantastical
shadows
upon
the
green
slope
.
Within
this
moat
there
was
,
as
I
have
said
,
the
fish-pond
—
a
sheet
of
water
that
extended
the
whole
length
of
the
garden
and
bordering
which
there
was
an
avenue
called
the
lime-tree
walk
;
an
avenue
so
shaded
from
the
sun
and
sky
,
so
screened
from
observation
by
the
thick
shelter
of
the
over-arching
trees
that
it
seemed
a
chosen
place
for
secret
meetings
or
for
stolen
interviews
;
a
place
in
which
a
conspiracy
might
have
been
planned
,
or
a
lover
's
vow
registered
with
equal
safety
;
and
yet
it
was
scarcely
twenty
paces
from
the
house
.
At
the
end
of
this
dark
arcade
there
was
the
shrubbery
,
where
,
half
buried
among
the
tangled
branches
and
the
neglected
weeds
,
stood
the
rusty
wheel
of
that
old
well
of
which
I
have
spoken
.
It
had
been
of
good
service
in
its
time
,
no
doubt
;
and
busy
nuns
have
perhaps
drawn
the
cool
water
with
their
own
fair
hands
;
but
it
had
fallen
into
disuse
now
,
and
scarcely
any
one
at
Audley
Court
knew
whether
the
spring
had
dried
up
or
not
.
But
sheltered
as
was
the
solitude
of
this
lime-tree
walk
,
I
doubt
very
much
if
it
was
ever
put
to
any
romantic
uses
.
Often
in
the
cool
of
the
evening
Sir
Michael
Audley
would
stroll
up
and
down
smoking
his
cigar
,
with
his
dogs
at
his
heels
,
and
his
pretty
young
wife
dawdling
by
his
side
;
but
in
about
ten
minutes
the
baronet
and
his
companion
would
grow
tired
of
the
rustling
limes
and
the
still
water
,
hidden
under
the
spreading
leaves
of
the
water-lilies
,
and
the
long
green
vista
with
the
broken
well
at
the
end
,
and
would
stroll
back
to
the
drawing-room
,
where
my
lady
played
dreamy
melodies
by
Beethoven
and
Mendelssohn
till
her
husband
fell
asleep
in
his
easy-chair
.
Sir
Michael
Audley
was
fifty-six
years
of
age
,
and
he
had
married
a
second
wife
three
months
after
his
fifty-fifth
birthday
.
He
was
a
big
man
,
tall
and
stout
,
with
a
deep
,
sonorous
voice
,
handsome
black
eyes
,
and
a
white
beard
—
a
white
beard
which
made
him
look
venerable
against
his
will
,
for
he
was
as
active
as
a
boy
,
and
one
of
the
hardest
riders
in
the
country
.
For
seventeen
years
he
had
been
a
widower
with
an
only
child
,
a
daughter
,
Alicia
Audley
,
now
eighteen
,
and
by
no
means
too
well
pleased
at
having
a
step-mother
brought
home
to
the
Court
;
for
Miss
Alicia
had
reigned
supreme
in
her
father
's
house
since
her
earliest
childhood
,
and
had
carried
the
keys
,
and
jingled
them
in
the
pockets
of
her
silk
aprons
,
and
lost
them
in
the
shrubbery
,
and
dropped
them
into
the
pond
,
and
given
all
manner
of
trouble
about
them
from
the
hour
in
which
she
entered
her
teens
,
and
had
,
on
that
account
,
deluded
herself
into
the
sincere
belief
,
that
for
the
whole
of
that
period
,
she
had
been
keeping
the
house
.
But
Miss
Alicia
's
day
was
over
;
and
now
,
when
she
asked
anything
of
the
housekeeper
,
the
housekeeper
would
tell
her
that
she
would
speak
to
my
lady
,
or
she
would
consult
my
lady
,
and
if
my
lady
pleased
it
should
be
done
.
So
the
baronet
's
daughter
,
who
was
an
excellent
horsewoman
and
a
very
clever
artist
,
spent
most
of
her
time
out
of
doors
,
riding
about
the
green
lanes
,
and
sketching
the
cottage
children
,
and
the
plow-boys
,
and
the
cattle
,
and
all
manner
of
animal
life
that
came
in
her
way
.
She
set
her
face
with
a
sulky
determination
against
any
intimacy
between
herself
and
the
baronet
's
young
wife
;
and
amiable
as
that
lady
was
,
she
found
it
quite
impossible
to
overcome
Miss
Alicia
's
prejudices
and
dislike
;
or
to
convince
the
spoilt
girl
that
she
had
not
done
her
a
cruel
injury
by
marrying
Sir
Michael
Audley
.
The
truth
was
that
Lady
Audley
had
,
in
becoming
the
wife
of
Sir
Michael
,
made
one
of
those
apparently
advantageous
matches
which
are
apt
to
draw
upon
a
woman
the
envy
and
hatred
of
her
sex
.
She
had
come
into
the
neighborhood
as
a
governess
in
the
family
of
a
surgeon
in
the
village
near
Audley
Court
.
No
one
knew
anything
of
her
,
except
that
she
came
in
answer
to
an
advertisement
which
Mr.
Dawson
,
the
surgeon
,
had
inserted
in
The
Times
.
She
came
from
London
;
and
the
only
reference
she
gave
was
to
a
lady
at
a
school
at
Brompton
,
where
she
had
once
been
a
teacher
.
But
this
reference
was
so
satisfactory
that
none
other
was
needed
,
and
Miss
Lucy
Graham
was
received
by
the
surgeon
as
the
instructress
of
his
daughters
.
Her
accomplishments
were
so
brilliant
and
numerous
,
that
it
seemed
strange
that
she
should
have
answered
an
advertisement
offering
such
very
moderate
terms
of
remuneration
as
those
named
by
Mr.
Dawson
;
but
Miss
Graham
seemed
perfectly
well
satisfied
with
her
situation
,
and
she
taught
the
girls
to
play
sonatas
by
Beethoven
,
and
to
paint
from
nature
after
Creswick
,
and
walked
through
a
dull
,
out-of-the-way
village
to
the
humble
little
church
,
three
times
every
Sunday
,
as
contentedly
as
if
she
had
no
higher
aspiration
in
the
world
than
to
do
so
all
the
rest
of
her
life
.
People
who
observed
this
,
accounted
for
it
by
saying
that
it
was
a
part
of
her
amiable
and
gentle
nature
always
to
be
light-hearted
,
happy
and
contented
under
any
circumstances
.
Wherever
she
went
she
seemed
to
take
joy
and
brightness
with
her
.
In
the
cottages
of
the
poor
her
fair
face
shone
like
a
sunbeam
.
She
would
sit
for
a
quarter
of
an
hour
talking
to
some
old
woman
,
and
apparently
as
pleased
with
the
admiration
of
a
toothless
crone
as
if
she
had
been
listening
to
the
compliments
of
a
marquis
;
and
when
she
tripped
away
,
leaving
nothing
behind
her
(
for
her
poor
salary
gave
no
scope
to
her
benevolence
)
,
the
old
woman
would
burst
out
into
senile
raptures
with
her
grace
,
beauty
,
and
her
kindliness
,
such
as
she
never
bestowed
upon
the
vicar
's
wife
,
who
half
fed
and
clothed
her
.
For
you
see
,
Miss
Lucy
Graham
was
blessed
with
that
magic
power
of
fascination
,
by
which
a
woman
can
charm
with
a
word
or
intoxicate
with
a
smile
.
Every
one
loved
,
admired
,
and
praised
her
.
The
boy
who
opened
the
five-barred
gate
that
stood
in
her
pathway
,
ran
home
to
his
mother
to
tell
of
her
pretty
looks
,
and
the
sweet
voice
in
which
she
thanked
him
for
the
little
service
.
The
verger
at
the
church
,
who
ushered
her
into
the
surgeon
's
pew
;
the
vicar
,
who
saw
the
soft
blue
eyes
uplifted
to
his
face
as
he
preached
his
simple
sermon
;
the
porter
from
the
railway
station
,
who
brought
her
sometimes
a
letter
or
a
parcel
,
and
who
never
looked
for
reward
from
her
;
her
employer
;
his
visitors
;
her
pupils
;
the
servants
;
everybody
,
high
and
low
,
united
in
declaring
that
Lucy
Graham
was
the
sweetest
girl
that
ever
lived
.
Perhaps
it
was
the
rumor
of
this
which
penetrated
into
the
quiet
chamber
of
Audley
Court
;
or
,
perhaps
,
it
was
the
sight
of
her
pretty
face
,
looking
over
the
surgeon
's
high
pew
every
Sunday
morning
;
however
it
was
,
it
was
certain
that
Sir
Michael
Audley
suddenly
experienced
a
strong
desire
to
be
better
acquainted
with
Mr.
Dawson
's
governess
.
He
had
only
to
hint
his
wish
to
the
worthy
doctor
for
a
little
party
to
be
got
up
,
to
which
the
vicar
and
his
wife
,
and
the
baronet
and
his
daughter
,
were
invited
.
That
one
quiet
evening
sealed
Sir
Michael
's
fate
.
He
could
no
more
resist
the
tender
fascination
of
those
soft
and
melting
blue
eyes
;
the
graceful
beauty
of
that
slender
throat
and
drooping
head
,
with
its
wealth
of
showering
flaxen
curls
;
the
low
music
of
that
gentle
voice
;
the
perfect
harmony
which
pervaded
every
charm
,
and
made
all
doubly
charming
in
this
woman
;
than
he
could
resist
his
destiny
!
Destiny
!
Why
,
she
was
his
destiny
!
He
had
never
loved
before
.
What
had
been
his
marriage
with
Alicia
's
mother
but
a
dull
,
jog-trot
bargain
made
to
keep
some
estate
in
the
family
that
would
have
been
just
as
well
out
of
it
?
What
had
been
his
love
for
his
first
wife
but
a
poor
,
pitiful
,
smoldering
spark
,
too
dull
to
be
extinguished
,
too
feeble
to
burn
?
But
this
was
love
—
this
fever
,
this
longing
,
this
restless
,
uncertain
,
miserable
hesitation
;
these
cruel
fears
that
his
age
was
an
insurmountable
barrier
to
his
happiness
;
this
sick
hatred
of
his
white
beard
;
this
frenzied
wish
to
be
young
again
,
with
glistening
raven
hair
,
and
a
slim
waist
,
such
as
he
had
twenty
years
before
;
these
,
wakeful
nights
and
melancholy
days
,
so
gloriously
brightened
if
he
chanced
to
catch
a
glimpse
of
her
sweet
face
behind
the
window
curtains
,
as
he
drove
past
the
surgeon
's
house
;
all
these
signs
gave
token
of
the
truth
,
and
told
only
too
plainly
that
,
at
the
sober
age
of
fifty-five
,
Sir
Michael
Audley
had
fallen
ill
of
the
terrible
fever
called
love
.
I
do
not
think
that
,
throughout
his
courtship
,
the
baronet
once
calculated
upon
his
wealth
or
his
position
as
reasons
for
his
success
.
If
he
ever
remembered
these
things
,
he
dismissed
the
thought
of
them
with
a
shudder
.
It
pained
him
too
much
to
believe
for
a
moment
that
any
one
so
lovely
and
innocent
could
value
herself
against
a
splendid
house
or
a
good
old
title
.
No
;
his
hope
was
that
,
as
her
life
had
been
most
likely
one
of
toil
and
dependence
,
and
as
she
was
very
young
nobody
exactly
knew
her
age
,
but
she
looked
little
more
than
twenty
,
she
might
never
have
formed
any
attachment
,
and
that
he
,
being
the
first
to
woo
her
,
might
,
by
tender
attentions
,
by
generous
watchfulness
,
by
a
love
which
should
recall
to
her
the
father
she
had
lost
,
and
by
a
protecting
care
that
should
make
him
necessary
to
her
,
win
her
young
heart
,
and
obtain
from
her
fresh
and
earliest
love
,
the
promise
of
her
hand
.
It
was
a
very
romantic
day-dream
,
no
doubt
;
but
,
for
all
that
,
it
seemed
in
a
very
fair
way
to
be
realized
.
Lucy
Graham
appeared
by
no
means
to
dislike
the
baronet
's
attentions
.
There
was
nothing
whatever
in
her
manner
that
betrayed
the
shallow
artifices
employed
by
a
woman
who
wishes
to
captivate
a
rich
man
.
She
was
so
accustomed
to
admiration
from
every
one
,
high
and
low
,
that
Sir
Michael
's
conduct
made
very
little
impression
upon
her
.
Again
,
he
had
been
so
many
years
a
widower
that
people
had
given
up
the
idea
of
his
ever
marrying
again
.
At
last
,
however
,
Mrs.
Dawson
spoke
to
the
governess
on
the
subject
.
The
surgeon
's
wife
was
sitting
in
the
school-room
busy
at
work
,
while
Lucy
was
putting
the
finishing
touches
on
some
water-color
sketches
done
by
her
pupils
.
"
Do
you
know
,
my
dear
Miss
Graham
,
"
said
Mrs.
Dawson
,
"
I
think
you
ought
to
consider
yourself
a
remarkably
lucky
girl
?
"
The
governess
lifted
her
head
from
its
stooping
attitude
,
and
stared
wonderingly
at
her
employer
,
shaking
back
a
shower
of
curls
.
They
were
the
most
wonderful
curls
in
the
world
—
soft
and
feathery
,
always
floating
away
from
her
face
,
and
making
a
pale
halo
round
her
head
when
the
sunlight
shone
through
them
.
"
What
do
you
mean
,
my
dear
Mrs.
Dawson
?
"
she
asked
,
dipping
her
camel's-hair
brush
into
the
wet
aquamarine
upon
the
palette
,
and
poising
it
carefully
before
putting
in
the
delicate
streak
of
purple
which
was
to
brighten
the
horizon
in
her
pupil
's
sketch
.
"
Why
,
I
mean
,
my
dear
,
that
it
only
rests
with
yourself
to
become
Lady
Audley
,
and
the
mistress
of
Audley
Court
.
"
Lucy
Graham
dropped
the
brush
upon
the
picture
,
and
flushed
scarlet
to
the
roots
of
her
fair
hair
;
and
then
grew
pale
again
,
far
paler
than
Mrs.
Dawson
had
ever
seen
her
before
.
"
My
dear
,
do
n't
agitate
yourself
,
"
said
the
surgeon
's
wife
,
soothingly
;
"
you
know
that
nobody
asks
you
to
marry
Sir
Michael
unless
you
wish
.
Of
course
it
would
be
a
magnificent
match
;
he
has
a
splendid
income
,
and
is
one
of
the
most
generous
of
men
.
Your
position
would
be
very
high
,
and
you
would
be
enabled
to
do
a
great
deal
of
good
;
but
,
as
I
said
before
,
you
must
be
entirely
guided
by
your
own
feelings
.
Only
one
thing
I
must
say
,
and
that
is
that
if
Sir
Michael
's
attentions
are
not
agreeable
to
you
,
it
is
really
scarcely
honorable
to
encourage
him
.
"
"
His
attentions
—
encourage
him
!
"
muttered
Lucy
,
as
if
the
words
bewildered
her
.
"
Pray
,
pray
do
n't
talk
to
me
,
Mrs.
Dawson
.
I
had
no
idea
of
this
.
It
is
the
last
thing
that
would
have
occurred
to
me
.
"
She
leaned
her
elbows
on
the
drawing-board
before
her
,
and
clasping
her
hands
over
her
face
,
seemed
for
some
minutes
to
be
thinking
deeply
.
She
wore
a
narrow
black
ribbon
round
her
neck
,
with
a
locket
,
or
a
cross
,
or
a
miniature
,
perhaps
,
attached
to
it
;
but
whatever
the
trinket
was
,
she
always
kept
it
hidden
under
her
dress
.
Once
or
twice
,
while
she
sat
silently
thinking
,
she
removed
one
of
her
hands
from
before
her
face
,
and
fidgeted
nervously
with
the
ribbon
,
clutching
at
it
with
a
half-angry
gesture
,
and
twisting
it
backward
and
forward
between
her
fingers
.
"
I
think
some
people
are
born
to
be
unlucky
,
Mrs.
Dawson
,
"
she
said
,
by-and-by
;
"
it
would
be
a
great
deal
too
much
good
fortune
for
me
to
become
Lady
Audley
.
"
She
said
this
with
so
much
bitterness
in
her
tone
,
that
the
surgeon
's
wife
looked
up
at
her
with
surprise
.
"
You
unlucky
,
my
dear
!
"
she
exclaimed
.
"
I
think
you
are
the
last
person
who
ought
to
talk
like
that
—
you
,
such
a
bright
,
happy
creature
,
that
it
does
every
one
good
to
see
you
.
I
'm
sure
I
do
n't
know
what
we
shall
do
if
Sir
Michael
robs
us
of
you
.
"
After
this
conversation
they
often
spoke
upon
the
subject
,
and
Lucy
never
again
showed
any
emotion
whatever
when
the
baronet
's
admiration
for
her
was
canvassed
.
It
was
a
tacitly
understood
thing
in
the
surgeon
's
family
that
whenever
Sir
Michael
proposed
,
the
governess
would
quietly
accept
him
;
and
,
indeed
,
the
simple
Dawsons
would
have
thought
it
something
more
than
madness
in
a
penniless
girl
to
reject
such
an
offer
.
So
,
one
misty
August
evening
,
Sir
Michael
,
sitting
opposite
to
Lucy
Graham
,
at
a
window
in
the
surgeon
's
little
drawing-room
,
took
an
opportunity
while
the
family
happened
by
some
accident
to
be
absent
from
the
room
,
of
speaking
upon
the
subject
nearest
to
his
heart
.
He
made
the
governess
,
in
a
few
but
solemn
words
,
an
offer
of
his
hand
.
There
was
something
almost
touching
in
the
manner
and
tone
in
which
he
spoke
to
her
—
half
in
deprecation
,
knowing
that
he
could
hardly
expect
to
be
the
choice
of
a
beautiful
young
girl
,
and
praying
rather
that
she
would
reject
him
,
even
though
she
broke
his
heart
by
doing
so
,
than
that
she
should
accept
his
offer
if
she
did
not
love
him
.
"
I
scarcely
think
there
is
a
greater
sin
,
Lucy
,
"
he
said
,
solemnly
,
"
than
that
of
a
woman
who
marries
a
man
she
does
not
love
.
You
are
so
precious
to
me
,
my
beloved
,
that
deeply
as
my
heart
is
set
on
this
,
and
bitter
as
the
mere
thought
of
disappointment
is
to
me
,
I
would
not
have
you
commit
such
a
sin
for
any
happiness
of
mine
.
If
my
happiness
could
be
achieved
by
such
an
act
,
which
it
could
not
—
which
it
never
could
,
"
he
repeated
,
earnestly
—
"
nothing
but
misery
can
result
from
a
marriage
dictated
by
any
motive
but
truth
and
love
.
"
Lucy
Graham
was
not
looking
at
Sir
Michael
,
but
straight
out
into
the
misty
twilight
and
dim
landscape
far
away
beyond
the
little
garden
.
The
baronet
tried
to
see
her
face
,
but
her
profile
was
turned
to
him
,
and
he
could
not
discover
the
expression
of
her
eyes
.
If
he
could
have
done
so
,
he
would
have
seen
a
yearning
gaze
which
seemed
as
if
it
would
have
pierced
the
far
obscurity
and
looked
away
—
away
into
another
world
.
"
Lucy
,
you
heard
me
?
"
"
Yes
,
"
she
said
,
gravely
;
not
coldly
,
or
in
any
way
as
if
she
were
offended
at
his
words
.
"
And
your
answer
?
"
She
did
not
remove
her
gaze
from
the
darkening
country
side
,
but
for
some
moments
was
quite
silent
;
then
turning
to
him
,
with
a
sudden
passion
in
her
manner
,
that
lighted
up
her
face
with
a
new
and
wonderful
beauty
which
the
baronet
perceived
even
in
the
growing
twilight
,
she
fell
on
her
knees
at
his
feet
.
"
No
,
Lucy
;
no
,
no
!
"
he
cried
,
vehemently
,
"
not
here
,
not
here
!
"
"
Yes
,
here
,
here
,
"
she
said
,
the
strange
passion
which
agitated
her
making
her
voice
sound
shrill
and
piercing
—
not
loud
,
but
preternaturally
distinct
;
"
here
and
nowhere
else
.
How
good
you
are
—
how
noble
and
how
generous
!
Love
you
!
Why
,
there
are
women
a
hundred
times
my
superiors
in
beauty
and
in
goodness
who
might
love
you
dearly
;
but
you
ask
too
much
of
me
!
Remember
what
my
life
has
been
;
only
remember
that
!
From
my
very
babyhood
I
have
never
seen
anything
but
poverty
.
My
father
was
a
gentleman
:
clever
,
accomplished
,
handsome
—
but
poor
—
and
what
a
pitiful
wretch
poverty
made
of
him
!
My
mother
—
But
do
not
let
me
speak
of
her
.
Poverty
—
poverty
,
trials
,
vexations
,
humiliations
,
deprivations
.
You
cannot
tell
;
you
,
who
are
among
those
for
whom
life
is
so
smooth
and
easy
,
you
can
never
guess
what
is
endured
by
such
as
we
.
Do
not
ask
too
much
of
me
,
then
.
I
cannot
be
disinterested
;
I
cannot
be
blind
to
the
advantages
of
such
an
alliance
.
I
cannot
,
I
cannot
!
"
Beyond
her
agitation
and
her
passionate
vehemence
,
there
is
an
undefined
something
in
her
manner
which
fills
the
baronet
with
a
vague
alarm
.
She
is
still
on
the
ground
at
his
feet
,
crouching
rather
than
kneeling
,
her
thin
white
dress
clinging
about
her
,
her
pale
hair
streaming
over
her
shoulders
,
her
great
blue
eyes
glittering
in
the
dusk
,
and
her
hands
clutching
at
the
black
ribbon
about
her
throat
,
as
if
it
had
been
strangling
her
.
"
Do
n't
ask
too
much
of
me
,
"
she
kept
repeating
;
"
I
have
been
selfish
from
my
babyhood
.
"
"
Lucy
—
Lucy
,
speak
plainly
.
Do
you
dislike
me
?
"
"
Dislike
you
?
No
—
no
!
"
"
But
is
there
any
one
else
whom
you
love
?
"
She
laughed
aloud
at
his
question
.
"
I
do
not
love
any
one
in
the
world
,
"
she
answered
.
He
was
glad
of
her
reply
;
and
yet
that
and
the
strange
laugh
jarred
upon
his
feelings
.
He
was
silent
for
some
moments
,
and
then
said
,
with
a
kind
of
effort
:
"
Well
,
Lucy
,
I
will
not
ask
too
much
of
you
.
I
dare
say
I
am
a
romantic
old
fool
;
but
if
you
do
not
dislike
me
,
and
if
you
do
not
love
any
one
else
,
I
see
no
reason
why
we
should
not
make
a
very
happy
couple
.
Is
it
a
bargain
,
Lucy
?
"
"
Yes
.
"
The
baronet
lifted
her
in
his
arms
and
kissed
her
once
upon
the
forehead
,
then
quietly
bidding
her
good-night
,
he
walked
straight
out
of
the
house
.
He
walked
straight
out
of
the
house
,
this
foolish
old
man
,
because
there
was
some
strong
emotion
at
work
in
his
breast
—
neither
joy
nor
triumph
,
but
something
almost
akin
to
disappointment
—
some
stifled
and
unsatisfied
longing
which
lay
heavy
and
dull
at
his
heart
,
as
if
he
had
carried
a
corpse
in
his
bosom
.
He
carried
the
corpse
of
that
hope
which
had
died
at
the
sound
of
Lucy
's
words
.
All
the
doubts
and
fears
and
timid
aspirations
were
ended
now
.
He
must
be
contented
,
like
other
men
of
his
age
,
to
be
married
for
his
fortune
and
his
position
.
Lucy
Graham
went
slowly
up
the
stairs
to
her
little
room
at
the
top
of
the
house
.
She
placed
her
dim
candle
on
the
chest
of
drawers
,
and
seated
herself
on
the
edge
of
the
white
bed
,
still
and
white
as
the
draperies
hanging
around
her
.
"
No
more
dependence
,
no
more
drudgery
,
no
more
humiliations
,
"
she
said
;
"
every
trace
of
the
old
life
melted
away
—
every
clew
to
identity
buried
and
forgotten
—
except
these
,
except
these
.
"
She
had
never
taken
her
left
hand
from
the
black
ribbon
at
her
throat
.
She
drew
it
from
her
bosom
,
as
she
spoke
,
and
looked
at
the
object
attached
to
it
.
It
was
neither
a
locket
,
a
miniature
,
nor
a
cross
;
it
was
a
ring
wrapped
in
an
oblong
piece
of
paper
—
the
paper
partly
written
,
partly
printed
,
yellow
with
age
,
and
crumpled
with
much
folding
.
CHAPTER
II
.
ON
BOARD
THE
ARGUS
.
He
threw
the
end
of
his
cigar
into
the
water
,
and
leaning
his
elbows
upon
the
bulwarks
,
stared
meditatively
at
the
waves
.
"
How
wearisome
they
are
,
"
he
said
;
"
blue
and
green
,
and
opal
;
opal
,
and
blue
,
and
green
;
all
very
well
in
their
way
,
of
course
,
but
three
months
of
them
are
rather
too
much
,
especially
—
"
He
did
not
attempt
to
finish
his
sentence
;
his
thoughts
seemed
to
wander
in
the
very
midst
of
it
,
and
carry
him
a
thousand
miles
or
so
away
.
"
Poor
little
girl
,
how
pleased
she
'll
be
!
"
he
muttered
,
opening
his
cigar-case
,
lazily
surveying
its
contents
;
"
how
pleased
and
how
surprised
?
Poor
little
girl
.
After
three
years
and
a
half
,
too
;
she
will
be
surprised
.
"
He
was
a
young
man
of
about
five-and-twenty
,
with
dark
face
bronzed
by
exposure
to
the
sun
;
he
had
handsome
brown
eyes
,
with
a
lazy
smile
in
them
that
sparkled
through
the
black
lashes
,
and
a
bushy
beard
and
mustache
that
covered
the
whole
lower
part
of
his
face
.
He
was
tall
and
powerfully
built
;
he
wore
a
loose
gray
suit
and
a
felt
hat
,
thrown
carelessly
upon
his
black
hair
.
His
name
was
George
Talboys
,
and
he
was
aft-cabin
passenger
on
board
the
good
ship
Argus
,
laden
with
Australian
wool
and
sailing
from
Sydney
to
Liverpool
.
There
were
very
few
passengers
in
the
aft-cabin
of
the
Argus
.
An
elderly
wool-stapler
returning
to
his
native
country
with
his
wife
and
daughters
,
after
having
made
a
fortune
in
the
colonies
;
a
governess
of
three-and-thirty
years
of
age
,
going
home
to
marry
a
man
to
whom
she
had
been
engaged
fifteen
years
;
the
sentimental
daughter
of
a
wealthy
Australian
wine-merchant
,
invoiced
to
England
to
finish
her
education
,
and
George
Talboys
,
were
the
only
first-class
passengers
on
board
.
This
George
Talboys
was
the
life
and
soul
of
the
vessel
;
nobody
knew
who
or
what
he
was
,
or
where
he
came
from
,
but
everybody
liked
him
.
He
sat
at
the
bottom
of
the
dinner-table
,
and
assisted
the
captain
in
doing
the
honors
of
the
friendly
meal
.
He
opened
the
champagne
bottles
,
and
took
wine
with
every
one
present
;
he
told
funny
stories
,
and
led
the
life
himself
with
such
a
joyous
peal
that
the
man
must
have
been
a
churl
who
could
not
have
laughed
for
pure
sympathy
.
He
was
a
capital
hand
at
speculation
and
vingt-et-un
,
and
all
the
merry
games
,
which
kept
the
little
circle
round
the
cabin-lamp
so
deep
in
innocent
amusement
,
that
a
hurricane
might
have
howled
overhead
without
their
hearing
it
;
but
he
freely
owned
that
he
had
no
talent
for
whist
,
and
that
he
did
n't
know
a
knight
from
a
castle
upon
the
chess-board
.
Indeed
,
Mr.
Talboys
was
by
no
means
too
learned
a
gentleman
.
The
pale
governess
had
tried
to
talk
to
him
about
fashionable
literature
,
but
George
had
only
pulled
his
beard
and
stared
very
hard
at
her
,
saying
occasionally
,
"
Ah
,
yes
,
by
Jove
!
"
and
"
To
be
sure
,
ah
!
"
The
sentimental
young
lady
,
going
home
to
finish
her
education
,
had
tried
him
with
Shelby
and
Byron
,
and
he
had
fairly
laughed
in
her
face
,
as
if
poetry
were
a
joke
.
The
woolstapler
sounded
him
on
politics
,
but
he
did
not
seem
very
deeply
versed
in
them
;
so
they
let
him
go
his
own
way
,
smoke
his
cigars
and
talk
to
the
sailors
,
lounge
over
the
bulwarks
and
stare
at
the
water
,
and
make
himself
agreeable
to
everybody
in
his
own
fashion
.
But
when
the
Argus
came
to
be
within
about
a
fortnight
's
sail
of
England
everybody
noticed
a
change
in
George
Talboys
.
He
grew
restless
and
fidgety
;
sometimes
so
merry
that
the
cabin
rung
with
his
laughter
;
sometimes
moody
and
thoughtful
.
Favorite
as
he
was
among
the
sailors
,
they
were
tired
at
last
of
answering
his
perpetual
questions
about
the
probable
time
of
touching
land
.
Would
it
be
in
ten
days
,
in
eleven
,
in
twelve
,
in
thirteen
?
Was
the
wind
favorable
?
How
many
knots
an
hour
was
the
vessel
doing
?
Then
a
sudden
passion
would
seize
him
,
and
he
would
stamp
upon
the
deck
,
crying
out
that
she
was
a
rickety
old
craft
,
and
that
her
owners
were
swindlers
to
advertise
her
as
the
fast-sailing
Argus
.
She
was
not
fit
for
passenger
traffic
;
she
was
not
fit
to
carry
impatient
living
creatures
,
with
hearts
and
souls
;
she
was
fit
for
nothing
but
to
be
laden
with
bales
of
stupid
wool
,
that
might
rot
on
the
sea
and
be
none
the
worse
for
it
.
The
sun
was
drooping
down
behind
the
waves
as
George
Talboys
lighted
his
cigar
upon
this
August
evening
.
Only
ten
days
more
,
the
sailors
had
told
him
that
afternoon
,
and
they
would
see
the
English
coast
.
"
I
will
go
ashore
in
the
first
boat
that
hails
us
,
"
he
cried
;
"
I
will
go
ashore
in
a
cockle-shell
.
By
Jove
,
if
it
comes
to
that
,
I
will
swim
to
land
.
"
His
friends
in
the
aft-cabin
,
with
the
exception
of
the
pale
governess
,
laughed
at
his
impatience
;
she
sighed
as
she
watched
the
young
man
,
chafing
at
the
slow
hours
,
pushing
away
his
untasted
wine
,
flinging
himself
restlessly
about
upon
the
cabin
sofa
,
rushing
up
and
down
the
companion
ladder
,
and
staring
at
the
waves
.
As
the
red
rim
of
the
sun
dropped
into
the
water
,
the
governess
ascended
the
cabin
stairs
for
a
stroll
on
deck
,
while
the
passengers
sat
over
their
wine
below
.
She
stopped
when
she
came
up
to
George
,
and
,
standing
by
his
side
,
watched
the
fading
crimson
in
the
western
sky
.
The
lady
was
very
quiet
and
reserved
,
seldom
sharing
in
the
after-cabin
amusements
,
never
laughing
,
and
speaking
very
little
;
but
she
and
George
Talboys
had
been
excellent
friends
throughout
the
passage
.
"
Does
my
cigar
annoy
you
,
Miss
Morley
?
"
he
said
,
taking
it
out
of
his
mouth
.
"
Not
at
all
;
pray
do
not
leave
off
smoking
.
I
only
came
up
to
look
at
the
sunset
.
What
a
lovely
evening
!
"
"
Yes
,
yes
,
I
dare
say
,
"
he
answered
,
impatiently
;
"
yet
so
long
,
so
long
!
Ten
more
interminable
days
and
ten
more
weary
nights
before
we
land
.
"
"
Yes
,
"
said
Miss
Morley
,
sighing
.
"
Do
you
wish
the
time
shorter
?
"
"
Do
I
?
"
cried
George
.
"
Indeed
I
do
.
Do
n't
you
?
"
"
Scarcely
.
"
"
But
is
there
no
one
you
love
in
England
?
Is
there
no
one
you
love
looking
out
for
your
arrival
?
"
"
I
hope
so
,
"
she
said
gravely
.
They
were
silent
for
some
time
,
he
smoking
his
cigar
with
a
furious
impatience
,
as
if
he
could
hasten
the
course
of
the
vessel
by
his
own
restlessness
;
she
looking
out
at
the
waning
light
with
melancholy
blue
eyes
—
eyes
that
seemed
to
have
faded
with
poring
over
closely-printed
books
and
difficult
needlework
;
eyes
that
had
faded
a
little
,
perhaps
,
by
reason
of
tears
secretly
shed
in
the
lonely
night
.
"
See
!
"
said
George
,
suddenly
,
pointing
in
another
direction
from
that
toward
which
Miss
Morley
was
looking
,
"
there
's
the
new
moon
!
"
She
looked
up
at
the
pale
crescent
,
her
own
face
almost
as
pale
and
wan
.
"
This
is
the
first
time
we
have
seen
it
.
"
"
We
must
wish
!
"
said
George
.
"
I
know
what
I
wish
.
"
"
What
?
"
"
That
we
may
get
home
quickly
.
"
"
My
wish
is
that
we
may
find
no
disappointment
when
we
get
there
,
"
said
the
governess
,
sadly
.
"
Disappointment
!
"
He
started
as
if
he
had
been
struck
,
and
asked
what
she
meant
by
talking
of
disappointment
.
"
I
mean
this
,
"
she
said
,
speaking
rapidly
,
and
with
a
restless
motion
of
her
thin
hands
;
"
I
mean
that
as
the
end
of
the
voyage
draws
near
,
hope
sinks
in
my
heart
;
and
a
sick
fear
comes
over
me
that
at
the
last
all
may
not
be
well
.
The
person
I
go
to
meet
may
be
changed
in
his
feelings
toward
me
;
or
he
may
retain
all
the
old
feeling
until
the
moment
of
seeing
me
,
and
then
lose
it
in
a
breath
at
sight
of
my
poor
wan
face
,
for
I
was
called
a
pretty
girl
,
Mr.
Talboys
,
when
I
sailed
for
Sydney
,
fifteen
years
ago
;
or
he
may
be
so
changed
by
the
world
as
to
have
grown
selfish
and
mercenary
,
and
he
may
welcome
me
for
the
sake
of
my
fifteen
years
'
savings
.
Again
,
he
may
be
dead
.
He
may
have
been
well
,
perhaps
,
up
to
within
a
week
of
our
landing
,
and
in
that
last
week
may
have
taken
a
fever
,
and
died
an
hour
before
our
vessel
anchors
in
the
Mersey
.
I
think
of
all
these
things
,
Mr.
Talboys
,
and
act
the
scenes
over
in
my
mind
,
and
feel
the
anguish
of
them
twenty
times
a
day
.
Twenty
times
a
day
,
"
she
repeated
;
"
why
I
do
it
a
thousand
times
a
day
.
"
George
Talboys
had
stood
motionless
,
with
his
cigar
in
his
hand
,
listening
to
her
so
intently
that
,
as
she
said
the
last
words
,
his
hold
relaxed
,
and
the
cigar
dropped
in
the
water
.
"
I
wonder
,
"
she
continued
,
more
to
herself
than
to
him
,
"
I
wonder
,
looking
back
,
to
think
how
hopeful
I
was
when
the
vessel
sailed
;
I
never
thought
then
of
disappointment
,
but
I
pictured
the
joy
of
meeting
,
imagining
the
very
words
that
would
be
said
,
the
very
tones
,
the
very
looks
;
but
for
this
last
month
of
the
voyage
,
day
by
day
,
and
hour
by
hour
my
heart
sinks
and
my
hopeful
fancies
fade
away
,
and
I
dread
the
end
as
much
as
if
I
knew
that
I
was
going
to
England
to
attend
a
funeral
.
"
The
young
man
suddenly
changed
his
attitude
,
and
turned
his
face
full
upon
his
companion
,
with
a
look
of
alarm
.
She
saw
in
the
pale
light
that
the
color
had
faded
from
his
cheek
.
"
What
a
fool
!
"
he
cried
,
striking
his
clenched
fist
upon
the
side
of
the
vessel
,
"
what
a
fool
I
am
to
be
frightened
at
this
?
Why
do
you
come
and
say
these
things
to
me
?
Why
do
you
come
and
terrify
me
out
of
my
senses
,
when
I
am
going
straight
home
to
the
woman
I
love
;
to
a
girl
whose
heart
is
as
true
as
the
light
of
Heaven
;
and
in
whom
I
no
more
expect
to
find
any
change
than
I
do
to
see
another
sun
rise
in
to-morrow
's
sky
?
Why
do
you
come
and
try
to
put
such
fancies
in
my
head
when
I
am
going
home
to
my
darling
wife
?
"
"
Your
wife
,
"
she
said
;
"
that
is
different
.
There
is
no
reason
that
my
terrors
should
terrify
you
.
I
am
going
to
England
to
rejoin
a
man
to
whom
I
was
engaged
to
be
married
fifteen
years
ago
.
He
was
too
poor
to
marry
then
,
and
when
I
was
offered
a
situation
as
governess
in
a
rich
Australian
family
,
I
persuaded
him
to
let
me
accept
it
,
so
that
I
might
leave
him
free
and
unfettered
to
win
his
way
in
the
world
,
while
I
saved
a
little
money
to
help
us
when
we
began
life
together
.
I
never
meant
to
stay
away
so
long
,
but
things
have
gone
badly
with
him
in
England
.
That
is
my
story
,
and
you
can
understand
my
fears
.
They
need
not
influence
you
.
Mine
is
an
exceptional
case
.
"
"
So
is
mine
,
"
said
George
,
impatiently
.
"
I
tell
you
that
mine
is
an
exceptional
case
:
although
I
swear
to
you
that
until
this
moment
,
I
have
never
known
a
fear
as
to
the
result
of
my
voyage
home
.
But
you
are
right
;
your
terrors
have
nothing
to
do
with
me
.
You
have
been
away
fifteen
years
;
all
kinds
of
things
may
happen
in
fifteen
years
.
Now
it
is
only
three
years
and
a
half
this
very
month
since
I
left
England
.
What
can
have
happened
in
such
a
short
time
as
that
?
"
Miss
Morley
looked
at
him
with
a
mournful
smile
,
but
did
not
speak
.
His
feverish
ardor
,
the
freshness
and
impatience
of
his
nature
were
so
strange
and
new
to
her
,
that
she
looked
at
him
half
in
admiration
,
half
in
pity
.
"
My
pretty
little
wife
!
My
gentle
,
innocent
,
loving
little
wife
!
Do
you
know
,
Miss
Morley
,
"
he
said
,
with
all
his
old
hopefulness
of
manner
,
"
that
I
left
my
little
girl
asleep
,
with
her
baby
in
her
arms
,
and
with
nothing
but
a
few
blotted
lines
to
tell
her
why
her
faithful
husband
had
deserted
her
?
"
"
Deserted
her
!
"
exclaimed
the
governess
.
"
Yes
.
I
was
an
ensign
in
a
cavalry
regiment
when
I
first
met
my
little
darling
.
We
were
quartered
at
a
stupid
seaport
town
,
where
my
pet
lived
with
her
shabby
old
father
,
a
half-pay
naval
officer
;
a
regular
old
humbug
,
as
poor
as
Job
,
and
with
an
eye
for
nothing
but
the
main
chance
.
I
saw
through
all
his
shallow
tricks
to
catch
one
of
us
for
his
pretty
daughter
.
I
saw
all
the
pitiable
,
contemptible
,
palpable
traps
he
set
for
us
big
dragoons
to
walk
into
.
I
saw
through
his
shabby-genteel
dinners
and
public-house
port
;
his
fine
talk
of
the
grandeur
of
his
family
;
his
sham
pride
and
independence
,
and
the
sham
tears
of
his
bleared
old
eyes
when
he
talked
of
his
only
child
.
He
was
a
drunken
old
hypocrite
,
and
he
was
ready
to
sell
my
poor
,
little
girl
to
the
highest
bidder
.
Luckily
for
me
,
I
happened
just
then
to
be
the
highest
bidder
;
for
my
father
,
is
a
rich
man
,
Miss
Morley
,
and
as
it
was
love
at
first
sight
on
both
sides
,
my
darling
and
I
made
a
match
of
it
.
No
sooner
,
however
,
did
my
father
hear
that
I
had
married
a
penniless
little
girl
,
the
daughter
of
a
tipsy
old
half-pay
lieutenant
,
than
he
wrote
me
a
furious
letter
,
telling
me
he
would
never
again
hold
any
communication
with
me
,
and
that
my
yearly
allowance
would
stop
from
my
wedding-day
.
"
As
there
was
no
remaining
in
such
a
regiment
as
mine
,
with
nothing
but
my
pay
to
live
on
,
and
my
pretty
little
wife
to
keep
,
I
sold
out
,
thinking
that
before
the
money
was
exhausted
,
I
should
be
sure
to
drop
into
something
.
I
took
my
darling
to
Italy
,
and
we
lived
there
in
splendid
style
as
long
as
my
two
thousand
pounds
lasted
;
but
when
that
began
to
dwindle
down
to
a
couple
of
hundred
or
so
,
we
came
back
to
England
,
and
as
my
darling
had
a
fancy
for
being
near
that
tiresome
old
father
of
hers
,
we
settled
at
the
watering-place
where
he
lived
.
Well
,
as
soon
as
the
old
man
heard
that
I
had
a
couple
of
hundred
pounds
left
,
he
expressed
a
wonderful
degree
of
affection
for
us
,
and
insisted
on
our
boarding
in
his
house
.
We
consented
,
still
to
please
my
darling
,
who
had
just
then
a
peculiar
right
to
have
every
whim
and
fancy
of
her
innocent
heart
indulged
.
We
did
board
with
him
,
and
finally
he
fleeced
us
;
but
when
I
spoke
of
it
to
my
little
wife
,
she
only
shrugged
her
shoulders
,
and
said
she
did
not
like
to
be
unkind
to
her
'
poor
papa
.
'
So
poor
papa
made
away
with
our
little
stock
of
money
in
no
time
;
and
as
I
felt
that
it
was
now
becoming
necessary
to
look
about
for
something
,
I
ran
up
to
London
,
and
tried
to
get
a
situation
as
a
clerk
in
a
merchant
's
office
,
or
as
accountant
,
or
book-keeper
,
or
something
of
that
kind
.
But
I
suppose
there
was
the
stamp
of
a
heavy
dragoon
about
me
,
for
do
what
I
would
I
could
n't
get
anybody
to
believe
in
my
capacity
;
and
tired
out
,
and
down-hearted
,
I
returned
to
my
darling
,
to
find
her
nursing
a
son
and
heir
to
his
father
's
poverty
.
Poor
little
girl
,
she
was
very
low-spirited
;
and
when
I
told
her
that
my
London
expedition
had
failed
,
she
fairly
broke
down
,
and
burst
in
to
a
storm
of
sobs
and
lamentations
,
telling
me
that
I
ought
not
to
have
married
her
if
I
could
give
her
nothing
but
poverty
and
misery
;
and
that
I
had
done
her
a
cruel
wrong
in
making
her
my
wife
.
By
heaven
!
Miss
Morley
,
her
tears
and
reproaches
drove
me
almost
mad
;
and
I
flew
into
a
rage
with
her
,
myself
,
her
father
,
the
world
,
and
everybody
in
it
,
and
then
ran
out
of
the
house
.
I
walked
about
the
streets
all
that
day
,
half
out
of
my
mind
,
and
with
a
strong
inclination
to
throw
myself
into
the
sea
,
so
as
to
leave
my
poor
girl
free
to
make
a
better
match
.
'
If
I
drown
myself
,
her
father
must
support
her
,
'
I
thought
;
'
the
old
hypocrite
could
never
refuse
her
a
shelter
;
but
while
I
live
she
has
no
claim
on
him
.
'
I
went
down
to
a
rickety
old
wooden
pier
,
meaning
to
wait
there
till
it
was
dark
,
and
then
drop
quietly
over
the
end
of
it
into
the
water
;
but
while
I
sat
there
smoking
my
pipe
,
and
staring
vacantly
at
the
sea-gulls
,
two
men
came
down
,
and
one
of
them
began
to
talk
of
the
Australian
gold-diggings
,
and
the
great
things
that
were
to
be
done
there
.
It
appeared
that
he
was
going
to
sail
in
a
day
or
two
,
and
he
was
trying
to
persuade
his
companion
to
join
him
in
the
expedition
.
"
I
listened
to
these
men
for
upward
of
an
hour
,
following
them
up
and
down
the
pier
,
with
my
pipe
in
my
mouth
,
and
hearing
all
their
talk
.
After
this
I
fell
into
conversation
with
them
myself
,
and
ascertained
that
there
was
a
vessel
going
to
leave
Liverpool
in
three
days
,
by
which
vessel
one
of
the
men
was
going
out
.
This
man
gave
me
all
the
information
I
required
,
and
told
me
,
moreover
,
that
a
stalwart
young
fellow
,
such
as
I
was
,
could
hardly
fail
to
do
well
in
the
diggings
.
The
thought
flashed
upon
me
so
suddenly
,
that
I
grew
hot
and
red
in
the
face
,
and
trembled
in
every
limb
with
excitement
.
This
was
better
than
the
water
,
at
any
rate
.
Suppose
I
stole
away
from
my
darling
,
leaving
her
safe
under
her
father
's
roof
,
and
went
and
made
a
fortune
in
the
new
world
,
and
came
back
in
a
twelvemonth
to
throw
it
into
her
lap
;
for
I
was
so
sanguine
in
those
days
that
I
counted
on
making
my
fortune
in
a
year
or
so
.
I
thanked
the
man
for
his
information
,
and
late
at
night
strolled
homeward
.
It
was
bitter
winter
weather
,
but
I
had
been
too
full
of
passion
to
feel
cold
,
and
I
walked
through
the
quiet
streets
,
with
the
snow
drifting
in
my
face
,
and
a
desperate
hopefulness
in
my
heart
.
The
old
man
was
sitting
drinking
brandy-and-water
in
the
little
dining-room
;
and
my
wife
was
up-stairs
,
sleeping
peacefully
,
with
the
baby
on
her
breast
.
I
sat
down
and
wrote
a
few
brief
lines
,
which
told
her
that
I
never
had
loved
her
better
than
now
,
when
I
seemed
to
desert
her
;
that
I
was
going
to
try
my
fortune
in
the
new
world
,
and
that
if
I
succeeded
I
should
come
back
to
bring
her
plenty
and
happiness
;
but
that
if
I
failed
I
should
never
look
upon
her
face
again
.
I
divided
the
remainder
of
our
money
—
something
over
forty
pounds
—
into
two
equal
portions
,
leaving
one
for
her
,
and
putting
the
other
in
my
pocket
.
I
knelt
down
and
prayed
for
my
wife
and
child
,
with
my
head
upon
the
white
counterpane
that
covered
them
.
I
was
n't
much
of
a
praying
man
at
ordinary
times
,
but
God
knows
that
was
a
heartfelt
prayer
.
I
kissed
her
once
,
and
the
baby
once
,
and
then
crept
out
of
the
room
.
The
dining-room
door
was
open
,
and
the
old
man
was
nodding
over
his
paper
.
He
looked
up
as
he
heard
my
step
in
the
passage
,
and
asked
me
where
I
was
going
.
'
To
have
a
smoke
in
the
street
,
'
I
answered
;
and
as
this
was
a
common
habit
of
mine
he
believed
me
.
Three
nights
after
I
was
out
at
sea
,
bound
for
Melbourne
—
a
steerage
passenger
,
with
a
digger
's
tools
for
my
baggage
,
and
about
seven
shillings
in
my
pocket
.
"
"
And
you
succeeded
?
"
asked
Miss
Morley
.
"
Not
till
I
had
long
despaired
of
success
;
not
until
poverty
and
I
had
become
such
old
companions
and
bed-fellows
,
that
looking
back
at
my
past
life
,
I
wondered
whether
that
dashing
,
reckless
,
extravagant
,
luxurious
,
champagne-drinking
dragoon
could
have
really
been
the
same
man
who
sat
on
the
damp
ground
gnawing
a
moldy
crust
in
the
wilds
of
the
new
world
.
I
clung
to
the
memory
of
my
darling
,
and
the
trust
that
I
had
in
her
love
and
truth
was
the
one
keystone
that
kept
the
fabric
of
my
past
life
together
—
the
one
star
that
lit
the
thick
black
darkness
of
the
future
.
I
was
hail-fellow-well-met
with
bad
men
;
I
was
in
the
center
of
riot
,
drunkenness
,
and
debauchery
;
but
the
purifying
influence
of
my
love
kept
me
safe
from
all
.
Thin
and
gaunt
,
the
half-starved
shadow
of
what
I
once
had
been
,
I
saw
myself
one
day
in
a
broken
bit
of
looking-glass
,
and
was
frightened
by
my
own
face
.
But
I
toiled
on
through
all
;
through
disappointment
and
despair
,
rheumatism
,
fever
,
starvation
;
at
the
very
gates
of
death
,
I
toiled
on
steadily
to
the
end
;
and
in
the
end
I
conquered
.
"
He
was
so
brave
in
his
energy
and
determination
,
in
his
proud
triumph
of
success
,
and
in
the
knowledge
of
the
difficulties
he
had
vanquished
,
that
the
pale
governess
could
only
look
at
him
in
wondering
admiration
.
"
How
brave
you
were
!
"
she
said
.
"
Brave
!
"
he
cried
,
with
a
joyous
peal
of
laughter
;
"
was
n't
I
working
for
my
darling
?
Through
all
the
dreary
time
of
that
probation
,
her
pretty
white
hand
seemed
beckoning
me
onward
to
a
happy
future
!
Why
,
I
have
seen
her
under
my
wretched
canvas
tent
sitting
by
my
side
,
with
her
boy
in
her
arms
,
as
plainly
as
I
had
ever
seen
her
in
the
one
happy
year
of
our
wedded
life
.
At
last
,
one
dreary
foggy
morning
,
just
three
months
ago
,
with
a
drizzling
rain
wetting
me
to
the
skin
,
up
to
my
neck
in
clay
and
mire
,
half-starved
,
enfeebled
by
fever
,
stiff
with
rheumatism
,
a
monster
nugget
turned
up
under
my
spade
,
and
I
was
in
one
minute
the
richest
man
in
Australia
.
I
fell
down
on
the
wet
clay
,
with
my
lump
of
gold
in
the
bosom
of
my
shirt
,
and
,
for
the
first
time
in
my
life
,
cried
like
a
child
.
I
traveled
post-haste
to
Sydney
,
realized
my
price
,
which
was
worth
upward
of
£
20
,
000
,
and
a
fortnight
afterward
took
my
passage
for
England
in
this
vessel
;
and
in
ten
days
—
in
ten
days
I
shall
see
my
darling
.
"
"
But
in
all
that
time
did
you
never
write
to
your
wife
?
"
"
Never
,
till
the
night
before
I
left
Sydney
.
I
could
not
write
when
everything
looked
so
black
.
I
could
not
write
and
tell
her
that
I
was
fighting
hard
with
despair
and
death
.
I
waited
for
better
fortune
,
and
when
that
came
I
wrote
telling
her
that
I
should
be
in
England
almost
as
soon
as
my
letter
,
and
giving
her
an
address
at
a
coffee-house
in
London
where
she
could
write
to
me
,
telling
me
where
to
find
her
,
though
she
is
hardly
likely
to
have
left
her
father
's
house
.
"
He
fell
into
a
reverie
after
this
,
and
puffed
meditatively
at
his
cigar
.
His
companion
did
not
disturb
him
.
The
last
ray
of
summer
daylight
had
died
out
,
and
the
pale
light
of
the
crescent
moon
only
remained
.
Presently
George
Talboys
flung
away
his
cigar
,
and
turning
to
the
governess
,
cried
abruptly
,
"
Miss
Morley
,
if
,
when
I
get
to
England
,
I
hear
that
anything
has
happened
to
my
wife
,
I
shall
fall
down
dead
.
"
"
My
dear
Mr.
Talboys
,
why
do
you
think
of
these
things
?
God
is
very
good
to
us
;
He
will
not
afflict
us
beyond
our
power
of
endurance
.
I
see
all
things
,
perhaps
,
in
a
melancholy
light
;
for
the
long
monotony
of
my
life
has
given
me
too
much
time
to
think
over
my
troubles
.
"
"
And
my
life
has
been
all
action
,
privation
,
toil
,
alternate
hope
and
despair
;
I
have
had
no
time
to
think
upon
the
chances
of
anything
happening
to
my
darling
.
What
a
blind
,
reckless
fool
I
have
been
!
Three
years
and
a
half
and
not
one
line
—
one
word
from
her
,
or
from
any
mortal
creature
who
knows
her
.
Heaven
above
!
what
may
not
have
happened
?
"
In
the
agitation
of
his
mind
he
began
to
walk
rapidly
up
and
down
the
lonely
deck
,
the
governess
following
,
and
trying
to
soothe
him
.
"
I
swear
to
