,or
weak
tea
:
for
luncheon
,
beef-tea
or
mutton-broth
:
for
dinner
,
a
slice
of
roast
chicken
,
and
tapioca
or
semolina
pudding
.
I
would
give
her
one
glass
of
sherry
,
but
no
more
,
and
barley-water
;
it
would
be
as
well
to
avoid
brown
meats
,
at
all
events
for
the
present
.
With
these
precautions
,
my
dear
madam
,
I
think
your
anxiety
will
soon
be
happily
removed
.
”
Julia
took
her
long
walks
and
light
diet
;
and
became
a
little
pale
at
times
,
and
had
fewer
bursts
of
high
spirits
in
the
intervals
of
depression
.
Her
mother
went
with
her
case
to
a
female
friend
.
The
lady
said
she
would
not
trust
to
surgeons
and
apothecaries
;
she
would
have
a
downright
physician
.
“
Why
not
go
to
the
top
of
the
tree
at
once
,
and
call
in
Dr.
Short
?
You
have
heard
of
him
?
”
“
Oh
,
yes
;
I
have
even
met
him
in
society
;
a
most
refined
person
:
I
will
certainly
follow
your
advice
and
consult
him
.
Oh
,
thank
you
,
Mrs.
Bosanquet
!
A
propos
,
do
you
consider
him
skilful
?
“
Oh
,
immensely
;
he
is
a
particular
friend
of
my
husband
's
.
”
This
was
so
convincing
,
that
off
went
another
three-cocked
note
,
and
next
day
a
dark-green
carriage
and
pair
dashed
up
to
Mrs.
Dodd
's
door
,
and
Dr.
Short
bent
himself
in
an
arc
,
got
out
,
and
slowly
mounted
the
stairs
.
He
was
six
feet
two
,
wonderfully
thin
,
livid
,
and
gentleman-like
.
Fine
homing
head
,
keen
eye
,
lantern
jaws
.
At
sight
of
him
Mrs.
Dodd
rose
and
smiled
.
Julia
started
and
sat
trembling
.
He
stepped
across
the
room
inaudibly
,
and
after
the
usual
civilities
,
glanced
at
the
patient
's
tongue
,
and
touched
her
wrist
delicately
.
“
Pulse
is
rapid
,
”
said
he
.
Mrs.
Dodd
detailed
the
symptoms
.
Dr.
Short
listened
within
the
patient
politeness
of
a
gentleman
,
to
whom
all
this
was
superfluous
.
He
asked
for
a
sheet
of
note-paper
,
and
divided
it
so
gently
,
he
seemed
to
be
persuading
one
thing
to
be
two
.
He
wrote
a
pair
of
prescriptions
,
and
whilst
thus
employed
looked
up
every
now
and
then
and
conversed
with
the
ladies
.
“
You
have
a
slight
subscapular
affection
,
Miss
Dodd
:
I
mean
,
a
little
pain
under
the
shoulder-blade
.
”
“
No
,
sir
,
”
said
Julia
quietly
.
Dr.
Short
looked
a
little
surprised
;
his
female
patients
rarely
contradicted
him
.
Was
it
for
them
to
disown
things
he
was
so
a
good
as
to
assign
them
?
“
Ah
!
”
said
he
,
“
you
are
not
conscious
of
it
:
all
the
better
;
it
must
be
slight
;
a
mere
uneasiness
:
no
more
.
”
He
then
numbered
the
prescriptions
,
1
,
2
,
and
advised
Mrs.
Dodd
to
drop
No.
1
after
the
eighth
day
,
and
substitute
No.
2
,
to
be
continued
until
convalescence
.
He
put
on
his
gloves
to
leave
.
Mrs.
Dodd
then
,
with
some
hesitation
,
asked
him
humbly
whether
she
might
ask
him
what
the
disorder
was
.
“
Certainly
,
madam
,
”
said
he
graciously
;
“
your
daughter
is
labouring
under
a
slight
torpidity
of
the
liver
.
The
first
prescription
is
active
,
and
is
to
clear
the
gland
itself
,
and
the
biliary
ducts
,
of
the
excretory
accumulation
;
and
the
second
is
exhibited
to
promote
a
healthy
normal
habit
in
that
important
part
of
the
vascular
system
.
”
“
What
,
then
,
it
is
not
Hyperaemia
?
”
“
Hyperaemia
?
There
is
no
such
disorder
in
the
books
.
”
“
You
surprise
me
,
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
.
“
Dr.
Osmond
certainly
thought
it
was
Hyperaemia
.
”
And
she
consulted
her
little
ivory
tablets
,
whereon
she
had
written
the
word
.
But
meantime
,
Dr.
Short
's
mind
,
to
judge
by
his
countenance
,
was
away
roaming
distant
space
in
search
of
Osmond
.
“
Osmond
?
Osmond
?
I
do
not
know
that
name
in
medicine
.
”
“
Oh
,
oh
,
oh
!
”
cried
Julia
,
“
and
they
both
live
in
the
same
street
!
”
Mrs.
Dodd
held
up
her
finger
to
this
outspoken
patient
.
But
a
light
seemed
to
break
in
on
Dr.
Short
.
“
Ah
!
you
mean
Mr.
Osmond
:
a
surgeon
.
A
very
respectable
man
,
a
most
respectable
man
.
I
do
not
know
a
more
estimable
person
—
in
his
grade
of
the
profession
—
than
my
good
friend
Mr.
Osmond
.
And
so
he
gives
opinions
in
medical
cases
,
does
he
?
”
Dr.
Short
paused
,
apparently
to
realise
this
phenomenon
in
the
world
of
Mind
.
He
resumed
in
a
different
tone
:
“
You
may
have
misunderstood
him
.
Hyperaemia
exists
,
of
course
;
since
he
says
so
.
But
Hyperaemia
is
not
a
complaint
;
it
is
a
symptom
.
Of
biliary
derangement
.
My
worthy
friend
looks
at
disorders
from
a
mental
point
;
very
natural
:
his
interest
lies
that
way
,
perhaps
you
are
aware
:
but
profounder
experience
proves
that
mental
sanity
is
merely
one
of
the
results
of
bodily
health
:
and
I
am
happy
to
assure
you
that
,
the
biliary
canal
once
cleared
,
and
the
secretions
restored
to
the
healthy
habit
by
these
prescriptions
,
the
Hyperaemia
,
and
other
concomitants
of
hepatic
derangement
,
will
disperse
,
and
leave
our
interesting
patient
in
the
enjoyment
of
her
natural
intelligence
,
her
friends
'
affectionate
admiration
,
and
above
all
,
of
a
sound
constitution
.
Ladies
,
I
have
the
honour
”
and
the
Doctor
eked
out
this
sentence
by
rising
.
“
Oh
,
thank
you
,
Dr.
Short
,
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
,
rising
within
him
;
“
you
inspire
me
with
confidence
and
gratitude
.
”
As
if
under
the
influence
of
these
feelings
only
,
she
took
Dr.
Short
's
palm
and
pressed
it
.
Of
the
two
hands
,
which
met
for
a
moment
then
,
one
was
soft
and
melting
,
the
other
a
bunch
of
bones
;
but
both
were
very
white
,
and
so
equally
adroit
,
that
a
double
fee
passed
without
the
possibility
of
a
bystander
suspecting
it
.
For
the
benefit
of
all
young
virgins
afflicted
like
Julia
Dodd
,
here
are
the
Doctor
's
prescriptions
:
—
FOR
MISS
DODD
.
Rx
Pil
:
Hydrarg
:
Chlor
:
Co
:
singuml
:
nocte
sumend
:
Decoc
:
Aloes
Co
:
3j
omni
mane
viii
.
Sept.
J
.
S.
—
—
—
-
FOR
MISS
DODD
.
Rx
Conf
:
Sennae
.
Potass
:
Bitartrat
.
Extr
:
Tarax
:
a
a
3ss
Misft
:
Elect
:
Cujus
sum
:
3j
omni
mane
.
xviii
.
Sept.
J
.
S.
—
—
—
-
Id
:
Anglie
reddit
:
per
me
Carol
:
Arundin
:
The
same
done
into
English
by
me
.
C
.
R
.
FOR
MISS
DODD
.
1.
O
Jupiter
aid
us
!
!
Plummer
's
pill
to
be
taken
every
night
,
1
oz.
compound
decoction
of
Aloes
every
morning
.
8th
Sept.
J
.
S.
FOR
MISS
DODD
.
2.
O
Jupiter
aid
us
!
!
with
Confection
of
Senna
,
Bitartrate
of
Potash
,
extract
of
Dandelion
,
of
each
half
an
ounce
,
let
an
electuary
be
mixed
;
of
which
let
her
take
1
drachm
every
morning
.
18th
Sept.
J
.
S.
“
Quite
the
courtier
,
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
,
delighted
.
Julia
assented
:
she
even
added
,
with
a
listless
yawn
,
“
I
had
no
idea
that
a
skeleton
was
such
a
gentlemanlike
thing
;
I
never
saw
one
before
.
”
Mrs.
Dodd
admitted
he
was
very
thin
.
“
Oh
no
,
mamma
;
'
thin
'
implies
some
little
flesh
.
When
he
felt
my
pulse
,
a
chill
struck
to
my
heart
.
Death
in
a
black
suit
seemed
to
steal
up
to
me
,
and
lay
a
finger
on
my
wrist
:
and
mark
me
for
his
own
.
”
Mrs.
Dodd
forbade
her
to
give
way
to
such
gloomy
ideas
;
and
expostulated
firmly
with
her
for
judging
learned
men
by
their
bodies
.
“
However
,
”
said
she
,
“
if
the
good
,
kind
doctor
's
remedies
do
not
answer
his
expectations
and
mine
,
I
shall
take
you
to
London
directly
.
I
do
hope
papa
will
soon
be
at
home
.
”
Poor
Mrs.
Dodd
was
herself
slipping
into
a
morbid
state
.
A
mother
collecting
Doctors
!
It
is
a
most
fascinating
kind
of
connoisseurship
,
grows
on
one
like
Drink
;
like
Polemics
;
like
Melodrama
;
like
the
Millennium
;
like
any
Thing
.
Sure
enough
,
the
very
next
week
she
and
Julia
sat
patiently
at
the
morning
levee
of
an
eminent
and
titled
London
surgeon
.
Full
forty
patients
were
before
them
:
so
they
had
to
wait
and
wait
.
At
last
they
were
ushered
into
the
presence-chamber
,
and
Mrs.
Dodd
entered
on
the
beaten
ground
of
her
daughter
's
symptoms
.
The
noble
surgeon
stopped
her
civilly
but
promptly
.
“
Auscultation
will
give
us
the
clue
,
”
said
he
,
and
drew
his
stethoscope
.
Julia
shrank
and
cast
an
appealing
look
at
her
mother
;
but
the
impassive
chevalier
reported
on
each
organ
in
turn
without
moving
his
ear
from
the
key-hole
:
“
Lungs
pretty
sound
,
”
said
he
,
a
little
plaintively
:
“
so
is
the
liver
.
Now
for
the
—
—
Hum
?
There
is
no
kardiac
insufficiency
,
I
think
,
neither
mitral
nor
tricuspid
.
If
we
find
no
tendency
to
hypertrophy
we
shall
do
very
well
.
Ah
!
I
have
succeeded
in
diagnosing
a
slight
diastolic
murmur
;
very
slight
.
”
He
deposited
the
instrument
,
and
said
,
not
without
a
certain
shade
of
satisfaction
that
his
research
had
not
been
fruitless
,
“
The
heart
is
the
peccant
organ
.
”
“
Oh
,
sir
!
is
it
serious
?
”
said
poor
Mrs.
Dodd
.
“
By
no
means
.
Try
this
”
(
he
scratched
a
prescription
which
would
not
have
misbecome
the
tomb
of
Cheops
)
,
“
and
come
again
in
a
month
.
”
Ting
!
He
struck
a
bell
.
That
“
ting
”
said
,
“
Go
,
live
,
Guinea
;
and
let
another
come
.
”
“
Heart-disease
now
!
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
,
sinking
back
in
her
hired
carriage
,
and
the
tears
were
in
her
patient
eyes
.
“
My
own
,
own
mamma
,
”
said
Julia
earnestly
,
“
do
not
distress
yourself
.
I
have
no
disease
in
the
world
,
but
my
old
,
old
,
old
one
,
of
being
a
naughty
,
wayward
girl
.
As
for
you
,
mamma
,
you
have
resigned
your
own
judgment
to
your
inferiors
,
and
that
is
both
our
misfortunes
.
Dear
,
dear
mamma
,
do
take
me
to
a
doctress
next
time
,
if
you
have
not
had
enough
.
”
“
To
a
what
,
love
?
”
“
A
she-doctor
,
then
.
”
“
A
female
physician
,
child
?
There
is
no
such
thing
.
No
;
assurance
is
becoming
a
characteristic
of
our
sex
;
but
we
have
not
yet
intruded
ourselves
into
the
learned
professions
,
thank
Heaven
.
”
“
Excuse
me
,
mamma
,
there
are
one
or
two
;
for
the
newspapers
say
so
.
”
“
'
Well
,
dear
,
there
are
none
in
this
country
,
happily
.
”
“
'
What
,
not
in
London
?
”
“
No.
”
“
Then
what
is
the
use
of
such
a
great
overgrown
place
,
all
smoke
,
if
there
is
nothing
in
it
you
cannot
find
in
the
country
?
Let
us
go
back
to
Barkington
this
very
day
,
this
minute
,
this
instant
;
oh
,
pray
,
pray
.
”
“
And
so
you
shall
—
to-morrow
.
But
you
must
pity
your
poor
mother
's
anxiety
,
and
see
Dr.
Chalmers
first
.
”
“
Oh
,
mamma
,
not
another
surgeon
!
He
frightened
me
;
he
hurt
me
.
I
never
heard
of
such
a
thing
;
oh
,
please
not
another
surgeon
.
”
“
It
is
not
a
surgeon
,
dear
;
it
is
the
Court
Physician
.
”
The
Court
Physician
detected
“
a
somewhat
morbid
condition
of
the
great
nervous
centres
.
”
To
an
inquiry
whether
there
was
heart-disease
,
he
replied
,
“
Pooh
!
”
On
being
told
Sir
William
had
announced
heart-disease
,
he
said
,
“
Ah
!
that
alters
the
case
entirely
.
”
He
maintained
,
however
,
that
it
must
be
trifling
,
and
would
go
no
further
,
the
nervous
system
once
restored
to
its
healthy
tone
.
“
O
Jupiter
,
aid
us
!
Blue
pill
and
Seidhitz
powder
.
”
Dr.
Kenyon
found
the
mucous
membrane
was
irritated
and
required
soothing
.
“
O
Jupiter
,
etc.
”
Mrs.
Dodd
returned
home
consoled
and
confused
;
Julia
listless
and
apathetic
.
Tea
was
ordered
,
with
two
or
three
kinds
of
bread
,
thinnest
slices
of
meat
,
and
a
little
blane
mange
,
etc.
,
their
favourite
repast
after
a
journey
;
and
whilst
the
tea
was
drawing
,
Mrs.
Dodd
looked
over
the
card-tray
and
enumerated
the
visitors
that
had
called
during
their
absence
.
“
Dr.
Short
—
Mr.
Osmond
—
Mrs.
Hetherington
—
Mr.
Alfred
Hardie
—
Lady
Dewry
—
Mrs.
and
Miss
Bosanquet
.
What
a
pity
Edward
was
not
at
home
,
dear
;
Mr.
Alfred
Hardie
's
visit
must
have
been
to
him
.
”
“
Oh
,
of
course
,
mamma
.
”
“
A
very
manly
young
gentleman
.
”
“
'
Oh
,
yes
.
No.
He
is
so
rude
.
”
“
Is
he
?
Ah
!
he
was
ill
just
then
,
and
pain
irritates
gentlemen
;
they
are
not
accustomed
to
it
,
poor
Things
.
”
“
That
is
like
you
,
dear
mamma
;
making
excuses
for
one
.
”
Julia
added
faintly
,
“
But
he
is
so
impetuous
.
”
“
I
have
a
daughter
who
reconciles
me
to
impetuosity
.
And
he
must
have
a
good
heart
,
he
was
so
kind
to
my
boy
.
”
Julia
looked
down
smiling
;
but
presently
seemed
to
be
seized
with
a
spirit
of
contradiction
:
she
began
to
pick
poor
Alfred
to
pieces
;
he
was
this
,
that
,
and
the
other
;
and
then
so
bold
,
she
might
say
impudent
.
Mrs.
Dodd
replied
calmly
that
he
was
very
kind
to
her
boy
.
“
Oh
,
mamma
,
you
cannot
approve
all
the
words
he
spoke
.
”
“
It
is
not
worth
while
to
remember
all
the
words
young
gentlemen
speak
now-a-days
.
He
was
very
kind
to
my
boy
,
I
remember
that
.
”
The
tea
was
now
ready
,
and
Mrs.
Dodd
sat
down
,
and
patted
a
chair
,
with
a
smile
of
invitation
for
Julia
to
come
and
sit
beside
her
.
But
Julia
said
,
“
In
one
minute
,
dear
,
”
and
left
the
room
.
When
she
came
back
,
she
fluttered
up
to
her
mother
and
kissed
her
vehemently
,
then
sat
down
radiant
.
“
Ah
!
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
,
“
why
,
you
are
looking
yourself
once
more
.
How
do
you
feel
now
?
Better
?
”
“
How
do
I
feel
?
Let
me
see
:
The
world
seems
one
e-nor-mous
flower-garden
,
and
Me
the
butterfly
it
all
belongs
to
.
”
She
spake
,
and
to
confirm
her
words
the
airy
thing
went
waltzing
,
sailing
,
and
fluttering
round
the
room
,
and
sipping
mamma
every
now
and
then
on
the
wing
.
In
this
buoyancy
she
remained
some
twenty-four
hours
;
and
then
came
clouds
and
chills
,
which
,
in
their
turn
,
gave
way
to
exultation
,
duly
followed
by
depression
.
Her
spirits
were
so
uncertain
,
that
things
too
minute
to
justify
narration
turned
the
scale
either
way
:
a
word
from
Mrs.
Dodd
—
a
new
face
at
St.
Anne
's
Church
looking
devoutly
her
way
—
a
piece
of
town
gossip
distilled
in
her
ear
by
Mrs.
Maxley
—
and
she
was
sprightly
or
languid
,
and
both
more
than
reason
.
One
drizzly
afternoon
they
were
sitting
silent
and
saddish
in
the
drawing-room
,
Mrs.
Dodd
correcting
the
mechanical
errors
in
a
drawing
of
Julia
's
,
and
admiring
the
rare
dash
and
figure
,
and
Julia
doggedly
studying
Dr.
Whately
's
Logic
,
with
now
and
then
a
sigh
,
when
suddenly
a
trumpet
seemed
to
articulate
in
the
little
hall
:
“
Mestress
Doedd
at
home
?
”
The
lady
rose
from
her
seat
,
and
said
with
a
smile
of
pleasure
,
“
I
hear
a
voice
.
”
The
door
opened
,
and
in
darted
a
grey-headed
man
,
with
handsome
but
strongly
marked
features
,
laughing
and
shouting
like
a
schoolboy
broke
loose
.
He
cried
out
,
“
Ah
!
I
've
found
y
'
out
at
last
.
”
Mrs.
Dodd
glided
to
meet
him
,
and
put
out
both
her
hands
,
the
palms
downwards
,
with
the
prettiest
air
of
ladylike
cordiality
;
he
shook
them
heartily
.
“
The
vagabins
said
y
'
had
left
the
town
;
but
y
'
had
only
flitted
from
the
quay
to
the
subbubs
;
'
twas
a
pashint
put
me
on
the
scint
of
ye
.
And
how
are
y
'
all
these
years
?
an
'
how
's
Sawmill
?
”
“
Sawmill
!
What
is
that
?
”
“
It
's
just
your
husband
.
Is
n't
his
name
Sawmill
?
”
“
Dear
no
!
Have
you
forgotten
?
—
David
.
”
“
Ou
,
ay
.
I
knew
it
was
some
Scripcher
Petrarch
or
another
,
Daavid
,
or
Naathan
,
or
Sawmill
.
And
how
is
he
,
and
where
is
he
?
”
Mrs.
Dodd
replied
that
he
was
on
the
seas
,
but
expect
—
—
“
Then
I
wish
him
well
off
'
em
,
confound
'
em
oncannall
!
Halloa
!
why
,
this
will
be
the
little
girl
grown
up
int
'
a
wumman
while
ye
look
round
.
”
“
Yes
,
my
good
friend
;
and
her
mother
's
darling
.
”
“
And
she
's
a
bonny
lass
,
I
can
tell
ye
.
But
no
freend
to
the
Dockers
,
I
see
.
”
“
Ah
!
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
sadly
,
“
looks
are
deceitful
;
she
is
under
medical
advice
at
this
very
—
—
”
“
Well
,
that
wo
n't
hurt
her
,
unless
she
takes
it
.
”
And
he
burst
into
a
ringing
laugh
:
but
in
the
middle
of
it
,
stopped
dead
short
,
and
his
face
elongated
.
“
Lord
sake
,
mad
'm
,
”
said
he
impressively
,
“
mind
what
y
'
are
at
,
though
;
Barkton
's
just
a
trap
for
fanciful
femuls
:
there
's
a
n'oily
ass
called
Osmond
,
and
a
canting
cut-throat
called
Stephenson
and
a
genteel
,
cadaveris
old
assassin
called
Short
,
as
long
as
a
maypole
;
they
'd
soon
take
the
rose
out
of
Miss
Floree
's
cheek
here
.
Why
,
they
'd
starve
Cupid
,
an
'
veneseck
Venus
,
an
'
blister
Pomonee
,
the
vagabins
.
”
Mrs.
Dodd
looked
a
little
confused
,
and
exchanged
speaking
glances
with
Julia
.
“
However
,
”
she
said
calmly
,
“
I
have
consulted
Mr.
Osmond
and
Dr.
Short
;
but
have
not
relied
on
them
alone
.
I
have
taken
her
to
Sir
William
Best
.
And
to
Dr.
Chalmers
.
And
to
Dr.
Kenyon
.
”
And
she
felt
invulnerable
behind
her
phalanx
of
learning
and
reputation
.
“
Good
Hivens
!
”
roared
the
visitor
,
“
what
a
gauntlet
o
'
gabies
for
one
girl
to
run
;
and
come
out
alive
!
And
the
picter
of
health
.
My
faith
,
Miss
Floree
,
y
'
are
tougher
than
ye
look
.
”
“
My
daughter
's
name
is
Julia
,
”
observed
Mrs.
Dodd
,
a
little
haughtily
;
but
instantly
recovering
herself
,
she
said
,
“
This
is
Dr.
Sampson
,
love
—
an
old
friend
of
your
mother
's
.
”
“
And
th
'
Author
an
'
Invintor
of
th
'
great
Chronothairmal
Therey
o
'
Midicine
,
th
'
Unity
Perriodicity
an
'
Remittency
of
all
disease
,
”
put
in
the
visitor
,
with
such
prodigious
swiftness
of
elocution
that
the
words
went
tumbling
over
one
another
like
railway
carriages
out
on
pleasure
,
and
the
sentence
was
a
pile
of
loud
,
indistinct
syllables
.
Julia
's
lovely
eyes
dilated
at
this
clishmaclaver
,
and
she
bowed
coldly
.
Dr.
Sampson
had
revealed
in
this
short
interview
nearly
all
the
characteristics
of
voice
,
speech
,
and
manner
,
she
had
been
taught
from
infancy
to
shun
:
boisterous
,
gesticulatory
,
idiomatic
;
and
had
taken
the
discourse
out
of
her
mamma
's
mouth
twice
.
Now
Albion
Villa
was
a
Red
Indian
hut
in
one
respect
:
here
nobody
interrupted
.
Mrs.
Dodd
had
little
personal
egotism
,
but
she
had
a
mother
's
,
and
could
not
spare
this
opportunity
of
adding
another
Doctor
to
her
collection
:
so
she
said
hurriedly
,
“
Will
you
permit
me
to
show
you
what
your
learned
confreres
have
prescribed
her
?
”
Julia
sighed
aloud
,
and
deprecated
the
subject
with
earnest
furtive
signs
;
Mrs.
Dodd
would
not
see
them
.
Now
,
Dr.
Sampson
was
himself
afflicted
with
what
I
shall
venture
to
call
a
mental
ailment
;
to
wit
,
a
furious
intolerance
of
other
men
's
opinions
;
he
had
not
even
patience
to
hear
them
.
“
Mai
—
dear
—
mad
'm
,
”
said
he
hastily
,
“
when
you
've
told
me
their
names
,
that
's
enough
.
Short
treats
her
for
liver
,
Sir
William
goes
in
for
lung
disease
or
heart
,
Chalmers
sis
it
's
the
nairves
,
and
Kinyon
the
mookis
membrin
;
and
I
say
they
are
fools
and
lyres
all
four
.
”
“
Julia
!
”
ejaculated
Mrs.
Dodd
,
“
this
is
very
extraordinary
.
”
“
No
,
it
is
not
extraordinary
,
”
cried
Dr.
Sampson
defiantly
;
“
nothing
is
extraordinary
.
D'ye
think
I
've
known
these
shallow
men
thirty
years
,
and
not
plumbed
'
um
?
”
“
Shallow
,
my
good
friend
?
Excuse
me
!
they
are
the
ablest
men
in
your
own
branch
of
your
own
learned
profession
.
”
“
Th
'
ablest
!
Oh
,
you
mean
the
money-makingest
:
now
listen
me
!
our
lairned
Profession
is
a
rascally
one
.
It
is
like
a
barrel
of
beer
.
What
rises
to
the
top
?
”
Here
he
paused
for
a
moment
,
then
answered
himself
furiously
,
“
THE
SCUM
.
”
This
blast
blown
,
he
moderated
a
little
.
“
Look
see
!
”
said
he
,
“
up
to
three
or
four
thousand
a
year
,
a
Docker
is
often
an
honest
man
,
and
sometimes
knows
something
of
midicine
;
not
much
,
because
it
is
not
taught
anywhere
.
But
if
he
is
making
over
five
thousand
,
he
must
be
a
rogue
or
else
a
fool
:
either
he
has
booed
an
'
booed
,
an
'
cript
an
'
crawled
,
int
'
wholesale
collusion
with
th
'
apothecary
an
'
the
accoucheur
—
the
two
jockeys
that
drive
John
Bull
's
faemily
coach
—
and
they
are
sucking
the
pashint
togither
,
like
a
leash
o
'
leeches
:
or
else
he
has
turned
spicialist
;
has
tacked
his
name
to
some
poplar
disorder
,
real
or
imaginary
;
it
need
n't
exist
to
be
poplar
.
Now
,
those
four
you
have
been
to
are
spicialists
,
and
that
means
monomaniues
—
their
buddies
exspatiate
in
West-ind
squares
,
but
their
souls
dwell
in
a
n'alley
,
ivery
man
jack
of
'
em
:
Aberford
's
in
Stomich
Alley
,
Chalmers
's
in
Nairve
Court
,
Short
's
niver
stirs
out
o
'
Liver
Lane
,
Paul
's
is
stuck
fast
in
Kidney
Close
,
Kinyon
's
in
Mookis
Membrin
Mews
,
and
Hibbard
's
in
Lung
Passage
.
Look
see
!
nixt
time
y
'
are
out
of
sorts
,
stid
o
'
consultin
'
three
bats
an
'
a
n'owl
at
a
guinea
the
piece
,
send
direct
to
me
,
and
I
'll
give
y
'
all
their
opinions
,
and
all
their
prescriptions
,
gratis
.
And
deevilich
dear
ye
'll
find
'
em
at
the
price
,
if
ye
swallow
'
m
.
”
Mrs.
Dodd
thanked
him
coldly
for
the
offer
,
but
said
she
would
be
more
grateful
if
he
would
show
his
superiority
to
persons
of
known
ability
by
just
curing
her
daughter
on
the
spot
.
“
Well
,
I
will
,
”
said
he
carelessly
:
and
all
his
fire
died
out
of
him
.
“
Put
out
your
tongue
!
—
Now
your
pulse
!
”
Mrs.
Dodd
knew
her
man
(
ladies
are
very
apt
to
fathom
their
male
acquaintance
—
too
apt
,
I
think
)
;
and
,
to
pin
him
to
the
only
medical
theme
which
interested
her
,
seized
the
opportunity
while
he
was
in
actual
contact
with
Julia
's
wrist
,
and
rapidly
enumerated
her
symptoms
,
and
also
told
him
what
Mr.
Osmond
had
said
about
Hyperaesthesia
.
“
GOOSE
GREECE
!
”
barked
Sampson
,
loud
,
clear
,
and
sharp
as
an
irritated
watch-dog
;
but
this
one
bow-wow
vented
,
he
was
silent
as
abruptly
.
Mrs.
Dodd
smiled
,
and
proceeded
to
Hyperaemia
,
and
thence
to
the
Antiphlogistic
Regimen
.
At
that
unhappy
adjective
,
Sampson
jumped
up
,
cast
away
his
patient
's
hand
,
forgot
her
existence
—
she
was
but
a
charming
individual
—
and
galloped
into
his
native
region
,
Generalities
.
“
Antiphlogistic
!
Mai
—
dear
—
mad
'm
,
that
one
long
fragmint
of
ass
's
jaw
has
slain
a
million
.
Adapted
to
the
weakness
of
human
nature
,
which
receives
with
rivirince
ideas
however
childish
,
that
come
draped
in
long-tailed
and
exotic
words
,
that
aasimine
polysyllable
has
riconciled
the
modern
mind
to
the
chimeras
of
th
'
ancients
,
and
outbutchered
the
guillotine
,
the
musket
,
and
the
sword
:
ay
,
and
but
for
me
Had
barred
the
door
For
cinturies
more
on
the
great
coming
sceince
,
the
sceince
of
healing
diseases
,
instead
of
defining
and
dividing
'
em
and
lengthening
their
names
and
their
durashin
,
and
shortening
nothing
but
the
pashint
.
Th
'
Antiphlogistic
Therey
is
this
:
That
disease
is
fiery
,
and
that
any
artificial
exhaustion
of
vital
force
must
cool
the
system
,
and
reduce
the
morbid
fire
,
called
,
in
their
donkey
Latin
'
flamma
,
'
and
in
their
compound
donkey
Latin
'
inflammation
,
'
and
in
their
Goose
Greece
,
'
phlogosis
,
'
'
phlegmon
,
'
etc.
And
accordingly
th
'
Antiphlogistic
Practice
is
,
to
cool
the
sick
man
by
bleeding
him
,
and
,
when
blid
,
either
to
rebleed
him
with
a
change
of
instrument
,
bites
and
stabs
instid
of
gashes
,
or
else
to
rake
the
blid
,
and
then
blister
the
blid
and
raked
,
and
then
push
mercury
till
the
teeth
of
the
blid
,
raked
,
and
blistered
shake
in
their
sockets
,
and
to
starve
the
blid
,
purged
,
salivated
,
blistered
wretch
from
first
to
last
.
This
is
the
Antiphlogistic
system
.
It
is
seldom
carried
out
entire
,
because
the
pashint
,
at
the
first
or
second
link
in
their
rimedial
chain
,
expires
;
or
else
gives
such
plain
signs
of
sinking
,
that
even
these
ass-ass-ins
take
fright
,
and
try
t
'
undo
their
own
work
,
not
disease
's
,
by
tonics
an
'
turtle
,
and
stimulants
:
which
things
given
at
the
right
time
instead
of
the
wrong
,
given
when
the
pashint
was
merely
weakened
by
his
disorder
,
and
not
enfeebled
by
their
didly
rinmedies
,
would
have
cut
th
'
ailment
down
in
a
few
hours
.
”
“
Dear
me
,
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
;
“
and
now
,
my
good
friend
,
with
respect
to
my
daughter
—
—
“
N
'
list
me
!
”
clashed
Sampson
;
“
ye
're
goen
to
fathom
th
'
antiphlogistics
,
since
they
still
survive
an
'
slay
in
holes
and
corners
like
Barkton
and
d'Itly
;
I
've
driven
the
vamperes
out
o
'
the
cintres
o
'
civilisation
.
Begin
with
their
coolers
!
Exhaustion
is
not
a
cooler
,
it
is
a
feverer
,
and
they
know
it
;
the
way
parrots
know
sentences
.
Why
are
we
all
more
or
less
feverish
at
night
?
Because
we
are
weaker
.
Starvation
is
no
cooler
,
it
is
an
inflamer
,
and
they
know
it
—
as
parrots
know
truths
,
but
ca
n't
apply
them
:
for
they
know
that
burning
fever
rages
in
ivery
town
,
street
,
camp
,
where
Famine
is
.
As
for
blood-letting
,
their
prime
cooler
,
it
is
inflammatory
;
and
they
know
it
(
parrot-wise
)
,
for
the
thumping
heart
and
bounding
pulse
of
pashints
blid
by
butchers
in
black
,
and
bullocks
blid
by
butchers
in
blue
,
prove
it
;
and
they
have
recorded
this
in
all
their
books
:
yet
stabbed
,
and
bit
,
and
starved
,
and
mercuried
,
and
murdered
on
.
But
mind
ye
,
all
their
sham
coolers
are
real
weakeners
(
I
wonder
they
did
n't
inventory
Satin
and
his
brimstin
lake
among
their
refrijrators
)
,
and
this
is
the
point
whence
t
'
appreciate
their
imbecility
,
and
the
sairvice
I
have
rendered
mankind
in
been
the
first
t
'
attack
their
banded
school
,
at
a
time
it
seemed
imprignable
.
”
“
Ah
!
this
promises
to
be
very
interesting
,
”
sighed
Mrs.
Dodd
;
“
and
before
you
enter
on
so
large
a
field
,
perhaps
it
would
be
as
well
to
dispose
of
a
little
matter
which
lies
at
my
heart
.
Here
is
my
poor
daughter
—
—
”
“
NLISSMEE
!
A
human
Bean
is
in
a
constant
state
of
flux
and
reflux
;
his
component
particles
move
,
change
,
disappear
,
and
are
renewed
;
his
life
is
a
round
of
exhaustion
and
repair
.
Of
this
repair
the
brain
is
the
sovereign
ajint
by
night
and
day
,
and
the
blood
the
great
living
material
,
and
digestible
food
th
'
indispensible
supply
.
And
this
balance
of
exhaustion
and
repair
is
too
nice
to
tamper
with
:
dis
n't
a
single
sleepless
night
,
or
dinnerless
day
,
write
some
pallor
on
the
face
,
and
tell
against
the
buddy
?
So
does
a
single
excessive
perspiration
,
a
trifling
diary
,
or
a
cut
finger
,
though
it
takes
but
half
an
ounce
of
blood
out
of
the
system
.
And
what
is
the
cause
of
that
rare
ivint
—
which
occurs
only
to
pashmints
that
ca
n't
afford
docking
—
Dith
from
old
age
?
Think
ye
the
man
really
succumms
under
years
,
or
is
mowed
down
by
Time
?
Nay
,
yon
's
just
Potry
an
'
Bosh
.
Nashins
have
been
thinned
by
the
lancet
,
but
niver
by
the
scythe
;
and
years
are
not
forces
,
but
misures
of
events
.
No
,
Centenarius
decays
and
dies
bekase
his
bodil
'
expindituire
goes
on
,
and
his
bodil
'
income
falls
off
by
failure
of
the
reparative
and
reproductive
forces
.
And
now
suppose
bodil
'
exhaustion
and
repair
were
a
mere
matter
of
pecuniary
,
instead
of
vital
,
economy
:
what
would
you
say
to
the
steward
or
housekeeper
,
who
,
to
balance
your
accounts
and
keep
you
solvent
,
should
open
every
known
channel
of
expinse
with
one
hand
,
and
with
the
other
—
stop
the
supplies
?
Yet
this
is
how
the
Dockers
for
thirty
cinturies
have
burned
th
'
human
candle
at
both
ends
,
yet
wondered
the
light
of
life
expired
under
their
hands
.
”
“
It
seems
irrational
.
Then
in
my
daughter
's
case
you
would
—
—
”
“
Looksee
!
A
pashint
falls
sick
.
What
haps
directly
?
Why
the
balance
is
troubled
,
and
exhaustion
exceeds
repair
.
For
proof
obsairve
the
buddy
when
Disease
is
fresh
!
And
you
will
always
find
a
loss
of
flesh
to
put
it
economikly
,
and
then
you
must
understand
it
,
bein
a
housekeeper
—
Whativer
the
Disease
,
its
form
or
essence
,
Expinditure
goes
on
,
and
income
lessens
.
But
to
this
sick
and
therefore
weak
man
,
comes
a
Docker
purblind
with
cinturies
of
Cant
,
Pricidint
,
Blood
,
and
Goose
Greece
;
imagines
him
a
fiery
pervalid
,
though
the
common
sense
of
mankind
through
its
interpreter
common
language
,
pronounces
him
an
'
invalid
,
'
gashes
him
with
a
lancet
,
spills
out
the
great
liquid
material
of
all
repair
by
the
gallon
,
and
fells
this
weak
man
,
wounded
now
,
and
pale
,
and
fainting
,
with
Dith
stamped
on
his
face
,
to
th
'
earth
,
like
a
bayoneted
soldier
or
a
slaughtered
ox
.
If
the
weak
man
,
wounded
thus
,
and
weakened
,
survives
,
then
the
chartered
Thugs
who
have
drained
him
by
the
bung-hole
,
turn
to
and
drain
him
by
the
spigot
;
they
blister
him
,
and
then
calomel
him
:
and
lest
Nature
should
have
the
ghost
of
a
chance
to
conterbalance
these
frightful
outgoings
,
they
keep
strong
meat
and
drink
out
of
his
system
emptied
by
their
stabs
,
bites
,
purges
,
mercury
,
and
blisters
;
damdijjits
!
And
that
,
Asia
excipted
,
was
profissional
Midicine
from
Hippocrates
to
Sampsin
.
Antiphlogistic
is
but
a
modern
name
for
an
ass-ass-inating
rouutine
which
has
niver
varied
a
hair
since
scholastic
midicine
,
the
silliest
and
didliest
of
all
the
hundred
forms
of
Quackery
,
first
rose
—
unlike
Seeince
,
Art
,
Religion
,
and
all
true
Suns
—
in
the
West
;
to
wound
the
sick
;
to
weaken
the
weak
;
and
mutilate
the
hurt
;
and
thin
mankind
.
”
The
voluble
impugner
of
his
own
profession
delivered
these
two
last
words
in
thunder
so
sudden
and
effective
as
to
strike
Julia
's
work
out
of
her
hands
.
But
here
,
as
in
Nature
,
a
moment
's
pause
followed
the
thunderclap
;
so
Mrs.
Dodd
,
who
had
long
been
patiently
watching
her
opportunity
,
smothered
a
shriek
,
and
edged
in
a
word
:
“
This
is
irresistible
;
you
have
confuted
everybody
,
to
their
heart
's
content
;
and
now
the
question
is
,
what
course
shall
we
substitute
?
”
She
meant
,
“
in
the
great
case
,
which
occupies
me
.
”
But
Sampson
attached
a
nobler
,
wider
,
sense
to
her
query
.
“
What
course
?
Why
the
great
Chronothairmal
practice
,
based
on
the
remittent
and
febrile
character
of
all
disease
;
above
all
,
on
The
law
of
Perriodicity
,
a
law
Midicine
yet
has
wells
of
light
to
draw
.
By
Remittency
,
I
mean
th
'
ebb
of
Disease
,
by
Perriodicity
,
th
'
ebb
and
also
the
flow
,
the
paroxysm
and
the
remission
.
These
remit
and
recur
,
and
keep
tune
like
the
tides
,
not
in
ague
and
remittent
fever
only
,
as
the
Profission
imagines
to
this
day
,
but
in
all
diseases
from
a
Scirrhus
in
the
Pylorus
t
'
a
toothache
.
And
I
discovered
this
,
and
the
new
path
to
cure
of
all
diseases
it
opens
.
Alone
I
did
it
;
and
what
my
reward
?
Hooted
,
insulted
,
belied
,
and
called
a
quack
by
the
banded
school
of
profissional
assassins
,
who
,
in
their
day
hooted
Harvey
and
Jinner
—
authors
too
of
great
discoveries
,
but
discoveries
narrow
in
their
consequences
compared
with
mine
.
T
'
appreciate
Chronothairmalism
,
ye
must
begin
at
the
beginning
;
so
just
answer
me
—
What
is
man
?
”
At
this
huge
inquiry
whirring
tip
all
in
a
moment
,
like
a
cock-pheasant
in
a
wood
,
Mrs.
Dodd
sank
back
in
her
chair
despondent
.
Seeing
her
hors
de
combat
,
Sampson
turned
to
Julia
and
demanded
,
twice
as
loud
,
“
WHAT
IS
MAN
?
”
Julia
opened
two
violet
eyes
at
him
,
and
then
looked
at
her
mother
for
a
hint
how
to
proceed
.
“
How
can
that
child
answer
such
a
question
?
”
sighed
Mrs.
Dodd
.
“
Let
us
return
to
the
point
.
”
“
I
have
never
strayed
an
inch
from
it
.
It
's
about
'
Young
Physic
.
'
”
“
No
,
excuse
me
,
it
is
about
a
young
lady
.
Universal
Medicine
:
what
have
I
to
do
with
that
?
”
“
Now
this
is
the
way
with
them
all
,
”
cried
Sampson
,
furious
;
“
there
lowed
John
Bull
.
The
men
and
women
of
this
benighted
nashin
have
an
ear
for
anything
,
provided
it
matters
nothing
:
talk
Jology
,
Conchology
,
Entomology
,
Theology
,
Meteorology
,
Astronomy
,
Deuteronomy
,
Botheronomy
,
or
Boshology
,
and
one
is
listened
to
with
rivirence
,
because
these
are
all
far-off
things
in
fogs
;
but
at
a
word
about
the
great
,
near
,
useful
art
of
Healing
,
y'all
stop
your
ears
;
for
why
?
your
life
and
dailianhourly
happiness
depend
on
it
.
But
'
no
,
'
sis
John
Bull
,
the
knowledge
of
our
own
buddies
,
and
how
to
save
our
own
Bakin
—
Beef
I
mean
—
day
by
day
,
from
disease
and
chartered
ass-ass-ins
,
all
that
may
interest
the
thinkers
in
Saturn
,
but
what
the
deevil
is
it
t
'
us
?
Talk
t
'
us
of
the
hiv'nly
buddies
,
not
of
our
own
;
babble
o
'
comets
an
'
meteors
an
'
Ethereal
nibulae
(
never
mind
the
nibulae
in
our
own
skulls
)
.
Discourse
t
'
us
of
Predistinashin
,
Spitzbairgen
seaweed
,
the
last
novel
,
the
siventh
vile
;
of
Chrisehinising
the
Patagonians
on
condition
they
are
not
to
come
here
and
Chrischinise
the
Whitechapelians
;
of
the
letter
to
the
Times
from
the
tinker
wrecked
at
Timbuctoo
;
and
the
dear
Professor
's
lecture
on
the
probabeelity
of
snail-shells
in
the
backyard
of
the
moon
:
but
do
n't
ask
us
to
know
ourselves
—
Ijjits
!
!
”
The
eloquent
speaker
,
depressed
by
the
perversity
of
Englishmen
in
giving
their
minds
to
every
part
of
creation
but
their
bodies
,
suffered
a
momentary
loss
of
energy
;
then
Mrs.
Dodd
,
who
had
long
been
watching
lynx-like
,
glided
in
.
“
Let
us
compound
.
You
are
for
curing
all
the
world
,
beginning
with
Nobody
.
My
ambition
is
to
cure
my
girl
,
and
leave
mankind
in
peace
.
Now
,
if
you
will
begin
with
my
Julia
,
I
will
submit
to
rectify
the
universe
in
its
proper
turn
.
Any
time
will
do
to
set
the
human
race
right
;
you
own
it
is
in
no
hurry
:
but
my
child
's
case
presses
;
so
do
pray
cure
her
for
me
.
Or
at
least
tell
me
what
her
Indisposition
is
.
”
“
Oh
!
What
!
did
n't
I
tell
you
?
Well
,
there
's
nothing
the
matter
with
her
.
”
At
receiving
this
cavalier
reply
for
the
reward
of
all
her
patience
,
Mrs.
Dodd
was
so
hurt
,
and
so
nearly
angry
,
that
she
rose
with
dignity
from
her
seat
,
her
cheek
actually
pink
,
and
the
water
in
her
eyes
.
Sampson
saw
she
was
ruffled
,
and
appealed
to
Julia
—
of
all
people
.
“
There
now
,
Miss
Julia
,
”
said
he
,
ruefully
;
“
she
is
in
a
rage
because
I
wo
n't
humbug
her
.
Poplus
voolt
decipee
.
I
tell
you
,
ma'am
,
it
is
not
a
midical
case
.
Give
me
disease
and
I
'll
cure
'
t
.
Stop
,
I
'll
tell
ye
what
do
:
let
her
take
and
swallow
the
Barkton
Docks
'
prescriptions
,
and
Butcher
Best
's
,
and
canting
Kinyon
's
,
and
after
those
four
tinkers
there
'll
be
plenty
holes
to
mend
;
then
send
for
me
!
”
Here
was
irony
.
Mrs.
Dodd
retorted
by
finesse
.
She
turned
on
him
with
a
treacherous
smile
,
and
said
:
“
Never
mind
doctors
and
patients
;
it
is
so
long
since
we
met
;
I
do
hope
you
will
waive
ceremony
,
and
dine
with
me
en
ami
.
”
He
accepted
with
pleasure
;
but
must
return
to
his
inn
first
and
get
rid
of
his
dirty
boots
and
pashints
.
And
with
this
he
whipped
out
his
watch
,
and
saw
that
,
dealing
with
universal
medicine
,
he
had
disappointed
more
than
one
sick
individual
;
so
shot
out
as
hard
as
he
had
shot
in
,
and
left
the
ladies
looking
at
one
another
after
the
phenomenon
.
“
Well
?
”
said
Julia
,
with
a
world
of
meaning
.
“
Yes
,
dear
,
”
replied
Mrs.
Dodd
,
“
he
is
a
little
eccentric
.
I
think
I
will
request
them
to
make
some
addition
to
the
dinner
.
”
“
No
,
mamma
,
if
you
please
,
not
to
put
me
off
so
transparently
.
If
I
had
interrupted
,
and
shouted
,
and
behaved
so
,
you
would
have
packed
me
off
to
bed
,
or
somewhere
,
directly
.
”
“
Do
n't
say
'
packed
,
'
love
.
Dismissed
me
to
bed
.
”
“
Ah
!
”
cried
Julia
,
“
that
privileged
person
is
gone
,
and
we
must
all
mind
our
P
's
and
Q
's
once
more
.
”
Mrs.
Dodd
,
with
an
air
of
nonchalance
,
replied
to
the
effect
that
Dr.
Sampson
was
not
her
offspring
,
and
so
she
was
not
bound
to
correct
his
eccentricities
.
“
And
I
suppose
,
”
said
she
,
languidly
,
“
we
must
accept
these
extraordinary
people
as
we
find
them
.
But
that
is
no
reason
why
you
should
say
'
P
's
and
Q
's
,
'
darling
.
”
That
day
her
hospitable
board
was
spread
over
a
trap
.
Blessed
with
an
oracle
irrelevantly
fluent
,
and
dumb
to
the
point
,
she
had
asked
him
to
dinner
with
maternal
address
.
He
could
not
be
on
his
guard
eternally
;
sooner
or
later
,
through
inadvertence
,
or
in
a
moment
of
convivial
recklessness
,
or
in
a
parenthesis
of
some
grand
Generality
,
he
would
cure
her
child
:
or
,
perhaps
,
at
his
rate
of
talking
,
would
wear
out
all
his
idle
themes
,
down
to
the
very
“
well-being
of
mankind
;
”
and
them
Julia
's
mysterious
indisposition
would
come
on
the
blank
tapis
.
With
these
secret
hopes
she
presided
at
the
feast
,
all
grace
and
gentle
amity
.
Julia
,
too
,
sat
down
with
a
little
design
,
but
a
very
different
one
,
viz.
,
of
being
chilly
company
;
for
she
disliked
this
new
acquaintance
,
and
hated
the
science
of
medicine
.
The
unconscious
Object
chatted
away
with
both
,
and
cut
their
replies
very
short
,
and
did
strange
things
:
sent
away
Julia
's
chicken
,
regardless
of
her
scorn
,
and
prescribed
mutton
;
called
for
champagne
and
made
her
drink
it
and
pout
;
and
thus
excited
Mrs.
Dodd
's
hopes
that
he
was
attending
to
the
case
by
degrees
.
But
after
dinner
,
Julia
,
to
escape
medicine
universal
and
particular
,
turned
to
her
mother
,
and
dilated
on
treachery
of
her
literary
guide
,
the
Criticaster
.
“
It
said
'
Odds
and
Ends
'
was
a
good
novel
to
read
by
the
seaside
.
So
I
thought
then
oh
!
how
different
it
must
be
from
most
books
,
if
you
can
sit
by
the
glorious
sea
and
even
look
at
it
.
So
I
sent
for
it
directly
,
and
,
would
you
believe
,
it
was
an
ignoble
thing
;
all
flirtations
and
curates
.
The
sea
indeed
!
A
pond
would
be
fitter
to
read
it
by
;
and
one
with
a
good
many
geese
on
.
”
“
Was
ever
such
simplicity
!
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
.
“
Why
,
my
dear
,
that
phrase
about
the
sea
does
not
mean
anything
.
I
shall
have
you
believing
that
Mr.
So-and-So
,
a
novelist
,
can
'
wither
fashionable
folly
,
'
'
and
that
'
a
painful
incident
'
'
to
one
shopkeeper
has
'
thrown
a
gloom
'
'
over
a
whole
market-town
,
and
so
on
.
Now-a-days
every
third
phrase
is
of
this
character
;
a
starling
's
note
.
Once
,
it
appears
,
there
was
an
age
of
gold
,
and
then
came
one
of
iron
,
and
then
of
brass
.
All
these
are
gone
,
and
the
age
of
'
jargon
'
has
succeeded
.
”
She
sighed
,
and
Sampson
generalised
;
he
plunged
from
the
seaside
novel
into
the
sea
of
fiction
.
He
rechristened
that
joyous
art
Feckshin
,
and
lashed
its
living
professors
.
“
You
devour
their
three
volumes
greedily
,
”
said
he
,
“
but
after
your
meal
you
feel
as
empty
as
a
drum
;
there
is
no
leading
idea
in
'
um
;
now
there
always
is
—
in
Moliere
;
and
he
comprehended
the
midicine
of
his
age
.
But
what
fundamental
truth
d'our
novelists
iver
convey
?
All
they
can
do
is
pile
incidents
.
Their
customers
dictate
th
'
article
:
unideaed
melodrams
for
unideaed
girls
.
The
writers
and
their
feckshins
belong
to
one
species
,
and
that
's
'
the
non-vertebrated
animals
;
'
and
their
midicine
is
Bosh
;
why
,
they
bleed
still
for
falls
and
fevers
;
and
niver
mention
vital
chronometry
.
Then
they
do
n't
look
straight
at
Nature
,
but
see
with
their
ears
,
and
repeat
one
another
twelve
deep
.
Now
,
listen
me
!
there
are
the
cracters
for
an
'
ideaed
feckshin
'
in
Barkington
,
and
I
'd
write
it
,
too
,
only
I
have
n't
time
.
”
At
this
,
Julia
,
forgetting
her
resolution
,
broke
out
,
“
Romantic
characters
in
Barkington
?
Who
?
who
?
”
“
Who
should
they
be
,
but
my
pashints
?
Ay
,
ye
may
lauch
,
Miss
Julee
,
but
wait
till
ye
see
them
.
”
He
was
then
seized
with
a
fit
of
candour
,
and
admitted
that
some
,
even
of
his
pashints
,
were
colourless
;
indeed
,
not
to
mince
the
matter
,
six
or
seven
of
that
sacred
band
were
nullity
in
person
.
“
I
can
compare
the
beggars
to
nothing
,
”
said
he
,
“
but
the
globules
of
the
Do-Nothings
;
dee
—
—
d
insipid
,
and
nothing
in
'
em
.
But
the
others
make
up
.
Man
alive
,
I
've
got
'
a
rosy-cheeked
miser
,
'
and
an
'
ill-used
attorney
,
'
and
an
'
honest
Screw
'
—
he
is
a
gardener
,
with
a
head
like
a
cart-horse
.
”
“
Mamma
!
mamma
!
that
is
Mr.
Maxley
,
”
cried
Julia
,
clapping
her
hands
,
and
thawing
in
her
own
despite
.
“
Then
there
's
my
virgin
martyr
and
my
puppy
.
They
are
brother
and
sister
;
and
there
's
their
father
,
but
he
is
an
impenetrable
dog
—
wo
n't
unbosom
.
Howiver
,
he
sairves
to
draw
chicks
for
the
other
two
,
and
so
keep
'
em
goen
.
By-the-bye
,
you
know
my
puppy
?
”
“
We
have
not
that
honour
.
Do
we
know
Dr.
Sampson
's
puppy
,
love
?
”
inquired
Mrs.
Dodd
,
rather
languidly
.
“
Mamma
!
—
I
—
I
—
know
no
one
of
that
name
.
”
“
Do
n't
tell
me
!
Why
it
was
he
sent
me
here
told
me
where
you
lived
,
and
I
was
to
make
haste
,
for
Miss
Dodd
was
very
ill
:
it
is
young
Hardie
,
the
banker
's
son
,
ye
know
.
”
Mrs.
Dodd
said
good-humouredly
,
but
with
a
very
slight
touch
of
irony
,
that
really
they
were
very
much
flattered
by
the
interest
Mr.
Alfred
Hardie
had
shown
;
especially
as
her
daughter
had
never
exchanged
ten
words
with
him
.
Julia
coloured
at
this
statement
,
the
accuracy
of
which
she
had
good
reason
to
doubt
;
and
the
poor
girl
felt
as
if
an
icicle
passed
swiftly
along
her
back
.
And
then
,
for
the
first
the
in
her
life
,
she
thought
her
mother
hardly
gracious
;
and
she
wanted
to
say
she
was
obliged
to
Mr.
Alfred
Hardie
,
but
dared
not
,
and
despised
herself
for
not
daring
.
Her
composure
was
further
attacked
by
Mrs.
Dodd
looking
full
at
her
,
and
saying
interrogatively
,
“
I
wonder
how
that
young
gentleman
could
know
about
your
being
ill
?
”
At
this
Julia
eyed
her
plate
very
attentively
,
and
murmured
,
“
I
believe
it
is
all
over
the
town
:
and
seriously
too
;
so
Mrs.
Maxley
says
,
for
she
tells
me
that
in
Barkington
if
more
than
one
doctor
is
sent
for
,
that
bodes
ill
for
the
patient
.
”
“
Deevelich
ill
,
”
cried
Sampson
heartily
.
“
For
two
physicians
,
like
a
pair
of
oars
,
Conduck
him
faster
to
the
Styjjin
shores
.
”
Julia
looked
him
in
the
face
,
and
coldly
ignored
this
perversion
of
Mrs.
Maxley
's
meaning
;
and
Mrs.
Dodd
returned
pertinaciously
to
the
previous
topic
.
“
Mr.
Alfred
Hardie
interests
me
;
he
was
good
to
Edward
.
I
am
curious
to
know
why
you
call
him
a
puppy
?
”
“
Only
because
he
is
one
,
ma'am
.
And
that
is
no
reason
at
all
with
'
the
Six
.
'
He
is
a
juveneel
pidant
and
a
puppy
,
and
contradicts
ivery
new
truth
,
bekase
it
is
n't
in
Aristotle
and
th
'
Eton
Grammar
;
and
he
's
such
a
chatterbox
,
ye
ca
n't
get
in
a
word
idgeways
;
and
he
and
his
sister
—
that
's
my
virgin
martyr
—
are
a
farce
.
He
keeps
sneerin
'
at
her
relijjin
,
and
that
puts
her
in
such
a
rage
,
she
threatens
'
t
'
intercede
for
him
at
the
throne
.
”
“
Jargon
,
”
sighed
Mrs.
Dodd
,
and
just
shrugged
her
lovely
shoulders
.
“
We
breathe
it
—
we
float
in
an
atmosphere
of
it
.
My
love
?
”
And
she
floated
out
of
the
room
,
and
Julia
floated
after
.
Sampson
sat
meditating
on
the
gullibility
of
man
in
matters
medical
.
This
favourite
speculation
detained
him
late
,
and
almost
his
first
word
on
entering
the
drawing-room
was
,
“
Good
night
,
little
girl
.
”
Julia
coloured
at
this
broad
hint
,
drew
herself
up
,
and
lighted
a
bedcandle
.
She
went
to
Mrs.
Dodd
,
kissed
her
,
and
whispered
in
her
ear
,
“
I
hate
him
!
”
and
,
as
she
retired
,
her
whole
elegant
person
launched
ladylike
defiance
;
under
which
brave
exterior
no
little
uneasiness
was
hidden
.
“
Oh
,
what
will
become
of
me
!
”
thought
she
,
“
if
he
has
gone
and
told
him
about
Henley
?
”
“
Let
's
see
the
prescriptions
,
ma'am
,
”
said
Dr.
Sampson
.
Delighted
at
this
concession
,
Mrs.
Dodd
took
them
out
of
her
desk
and
spread
them
earnestly
.
He
ran
his
eye
over
them
,
and
pointed
out
that
the
mucous-membrane
man
and
the
nerve
man
had
prescribed
the
same
medicine
,
on
irreconcilable
grounds
;
and
a
medicine
,
moreover
,
whose
effect
on
the
nerves
was
nil
,
and
on
the
mucous
membrane
was
not
to
soothe
it
,
but
plough
it
and
harrow
it
;
“
and
did
not
that
open
her
eyes
?
”
He
then
reminded
her
that
all
these
doctors
in
consultation
would
have
contrived
to
agree
.
“
But
you
,
”
said
he
,
“
have
baffled
the
collusive
hoax
by
which
Dox
arrived
at
a
sham
uniformity
—
honest
uniformity
can
never
exist
till
scientific
principles
obtain
.
Listme
!
To
begin
,
is
the
pashint
in
love
?
”
The
doctor
put
this
query
in
just
the
same
tone
in
which
they
inquire
“
Any
expectoration
?
”
But
Mrs.
Dodd
,
in
reply
,
was
less
dry
and
business-like
.
She
started
and
looked
aghast
.
This
possibility
had
once
,
for
a
moment
,
occurred
to
her
,
but
only
to
be
rejected
,
the
evidence
being
all
against
it
.
“
In
love
?
”
said
she
.
“
That
child
,
and
I
not
know
it
!
”
He
said
he
had
never
supposed
that
.
“
But
I
thought
I
'd
just
ask
ye
;
for
she
has
no
bodily
ailment
,
and
the
passions
are
all
counterfeit
diseases
;
they
are
connected
,
like
all
diseases
,
with
cerebral
instability
,
have
their
hearts
and
chills
like
all
diseases
,
and
their
paroxysms
and
remissions
like
all
diseases
.
Nlistme
!
You
have
detected
the
signs
of
a
slight
cerebral
instability
;
I
have
ascertained
th
'
absence
of
all
physical
cause
:
then
why
make
this
healthy
pashint
's
buddy
a
test-tube
for
poisons
?
Sovereign
drugs
(
I
deal
with
no
other
,
I
leave
the
nullities
to
the
noodles
)
are
either
counterpoisons
or
poisons
,
and
here
there
is
nothing
to
counterpoison
at
prisent
.
So
I
'm
for
caushin
,
and
working
on
the
safe
side
th
'
hidge
,
till
we
are
less
in
the
dark
.
Mind
ye
,
young
women
at
her
age
are
kittle
cattle
;
they
have
gusts
o
'
this
,
and
gusts
o
'
that
,
th
'
unreasonable
imps
.
D'ye
see
these
two
pieces
pasteboard
?
They
are
tickets
for
a
ball
,
In
Barkton
town-hall
.
”
“
Yes
,
of
course
I
see
them
,
”
said
Mrs.
Dodd
dolefully
.
“
Well
,
I
prescribe
'
em
.
And
when
they
have
been
taken
,
And
the
pashint
well
shaken
,
perhaps
we
shall
see
whether
we
are
on
the
right
system
:
and
if
so
,
we
'll
dose
her
with
youthful
society
in
a
more
irrashinal
form
;
conversaziones
,
cookeyshines
,
et
citera
.
And
if
we
find
ourselves
on
the
wrong
tack
why
then
we
'll
hark
back
.
Stick
blindly
to
'
a
course
,
'
the
Dockers
cry
.
But
it
does
me
harm
:
Then
'
twill
do
good
by-and-bye
.
Where
lairned
ye
that
,
Echoes
of
Echoes
,
say
!
The
killer
ploughs
'
a
course
,
'
the
healer
'
feels
his
way
.
'
”
So
mysterious
are
the
operations
of
the
human
mind
,
that
,
when
we
have
exploded
in
verse
tuneful
as
the
above
,
we
lapse
into
triumph
instead
of
penitence
.
Not
that
doggrel
meets
with
reverence
here
below
—
the
statues
to
it
are
few
,
and
not
in
marble
,
but
in
the
material
itself
—
But
then
an
Impromptu
!
A
moment
ago
our
Posy
was
not
:
and
now
is
;
with
the
speed
,
if
not
the
brilliancy
,
of
lightning
,
we
have
added
a
handful
to
the
intellectual
dust-heap
of
an
oppressed
nation
.
From
this
bad
eminence
Sampson
then
looked
down
complacently
,
and
saw
Mrs.
Dodd
's
face
as
long
as
his
arm
.
She
was
one
that
held
current
opinions
;
and
the
world
does
not
believe
Poetry
can
sing
the
Practical
.
Verse
and
useful
knowledge
pass
for
incompatibles
;
and
,
though
Doggrel
is
not
Poetry
,
yet
it
has
a
lumbering
proclivity
that
way
,
and
so
forfeits
the
confidence
of
grave
sensible
people
.
This
versification
,
and
this
impalpable
and
unprecedented
prescription
she
had
waited
for
so
long
,
seemed
all
of
a
piece
to
poor
mamma
:
wild
,
unpractical
,
and
—
“
oh
,
horror
!
horror
!
”
—
eccentric
.
Sampson
read
her
sorrowful
face
after
his
fashion
.
“
Oh
,
I
see
,
ma'am
,
”
cried
he
.
“
Cure
is
not
welcome
unless
it
comes
in
the
form
consecrated
by
cinturies
of
slaughter
.
Well
,
then
,
give
me
a
sheet
.
”
He
took
the
paper
and
rent
it
asunder
,
and
wrote
this
on
the
larger
fragment
:
Rx
Die
Mercur
.
circa
x
.
hor
:
vespert
:
eat
in
musca
ad
Aulam
oppid
:
Saltet
cum
xiii
canicul
:
praesertim
meo
.
Dom
:
reddita
,
6
hora
matutin
:
dormiat
at
prand
:
Repetat
stultit
:
pro
re
nata
.
He
handed
this
with
a
sort
of
spiteful
twinkle
to
Mrs.
Dodd
,
and
her
countenance
lightened
again
.
Her
sex
will
generally
compound
with
whoever
can
give
as
well
as
take
.
Now
she
had
extracted
a
real
,
grave
prescription
,
she
acquiesced
in
the
ball
,
though
not
a
county
one
;
“
to
satisfy
your
whim
