afraidshe
believed
what
she
said
;
for
there
were
moments
when
she
was
very
mad
indeed
.
And
now
I
must
part
with
the
little
secret
I
have
thus
far
tried
to
keep
.
I
had
thought
,
sometimes
,
that
Mr.
Woodcourt
loved
me
;
and
that
if
he
had
been
richer
,
he
would
perhaps
have
told
me
that
he
loved
me
,
before
he
went
away
.
I
had
thought
,
sometimes
,
that
if
he
had
done
so
,
I
should
have
been
glad
of
it
.
But
,
how
much
better
it
was
now
,
that
this
had
never
happened
!
What
should
I
have
suffered
,
if
I
had
had
to
write
to
him
,
and
tell
him
that
the
poor
face
he
had
known
as
mine
was
quite
gone
from
me
,
and
that
I
freely
released
him
from
his
bondage
to
one
whom
he
had
never
seen
!
O
,
it
was
so
much
better
as
it
was
!
With
a
great
pang
mercifully
spared
me
,
I
could
take
back
to
my
heart
my
childish
prayer
to
be
all
he
had
so
brightly
shown
himself
;
and
there
was
nothing
to
be
undone
:
no
chain
for
me
to
break
,
or
for
him
to
drag
;
and
I
could
go
,
please
God
,
my
lowly
way
along
the
path
of
duty
,
and
he
could
go
his
nobler
way
upon
its
broader
road
;
and
though
we
were
apart
upon
the
journey
,
I
might
aspire
to
meet
him
,
unselfishly
,
innocently
,
better
far
than
he
had
thought
me
when
I
found
some
favor
in
his
eyes
,
at
the
journey
's
end
.
CHAPTER
XXXVI
.
CHESNEY
WOLD
.
CHARLEY
and
I
did
not
set
off
alone
upon
our
expedition
into
Lincolnshire
.
My
guardian
had
made
up
his
mind
not
to
lose
sight
of
me
until
I
was
safe
in
Mr.
Boythorn
's
house
;
so
he
accompanied
us
,
and
we
were
two
days
upon
the
road
.
I
found
every
breath
of
air
,
and
every
scent
,
and
every
flower
and
leaf
and
blade
of
grass
,
and
every
passing
cloud
,
and
everything
in
nature
,
more
beautiful
and
wonderful
to
me
than
I
had
ever
found
it
yet
.
This
was
my
first
gain
from
my
illness
.
How
little
I
had
lost
,
when
the
wide
world
was
so
full
of
delight
for
me
.
My
guardian
intending
to
go
back
immediately
,
we
appointed
,
on
our
way
down
,
a
day
when
my
dear
girl
should
come
.
I
wrote
her
a
letter
,
of
which
he
took
charge
;
and
he
left
us
within
half
an
hour
of
our
arrival
at
our
destination
,
on
a
delightful
evening
in
the
early
summer
time
.
If
a
good
fairy
had
built
the
house
for
me
with
a
wave
of
her
wand
,
and
I
had
been
a
princess
and
her
favored
godchild
,
I
could
not
have
been
more
considered
in
it
.
So
many
preparations
were
made
for
me
,
and
such
an
endearing
remembrance
was
shown
of
all
my
little
tastes
and
likings
,
that
I
could
have
sat
down
,
overcome
,
a
dozen
times
,
before
I
had
revisited
half
the
rooms
.
I
did
better
than
that
,
however
,
by
showing
them
all
to
Charley
instead
.
Charley
's
delight
calmed
mine
;
and
after
we
had
had
a
walk
in
the
garden
,
and
Charley
had
exhausted
her
whole
vocabulary
of
admiring
expressions
,
I
was
as
tranquilly
happy
as
I
ought
to
have
been
.
It
was
a
great
comfort
to
be
able
to
say
to
myself
after
tea
,
“
Esther
,
my
dear
,
I
think
you
are
quite
sensible
enough
to
sit
down
now
,
and
write
a
note
of
thanks
to
your
host
.
”
He
had
left
a
note
of
welcome
for
me
,
as
sunny
as
his
own
face
,
and
had
confided
his
bird
to
my
care
,
which
I
knew
to
be
his
highest
mark
of
confidence
.
Accordingly
I
wrote
a
little
note
to
him
in
London
,
telling
him
how
all
his
favorite
plants
and
trees
were
looking
,
and
how
the
most
astonishing
of
birds
had
chirped
the
honors
of
the
house
to
me
in
the
most
hospitable
manner
,
and
how
,
after
singing
on
my
shoulder
,
to
the
inconceivable
rapture
of
my
little
maid
,
he
was
then
at
roost
in
the
usual
corner
of
his
cage
,
but
whether
dreaming
or
no
I
could
not
report
.
My
note
finished
and
sent
off
to
the
post
,
I
made
myself
very
busy
in
unpacking
and
arranging
;
and
I
sent
Charley
to
bed
in
good
time
,
and
told
her
I
should
want
her
no
more
that
night
.
For
I
had
not
yet
looked
in
the
glass
,
and
had
never
asked
to
have
my
own
restored
to
me
.
I
knew
this
to
be
a
weakness
which
must
be
overcome
;
but
I
had
always
said
to
myself
that
I
would
begin
afresh
,
when
I
got
to
where
I
now
was
.
Therefore
I
had
wanted
to
be
alone
,
and
therefore
I
said
,
now
alone
,
in
my
own
room
,
“
Esther
,
if
you
are
to
be
happy
,
if
you
are
to
have
any
right
to
pray
to
be
true-hearted
,
you
must
keep
your
word
,
my
dear
.
”
I
was
quite
resolved
to
keep
it
;
but
I
sat
down
for
a
little
while
first
,
to
reflect
upon
all
my
blessings
.
And
then
I
said
my
prayers
,
and
thought
a
little
more
.
My
hair
had
not
been
cut
off
,
though
it
had
been
in
danger
more
than
once
.
It
was
long
and
thick
.
I
let
it
down
,
and
shook
it
out
,
and
went
up
to
the
glass
upon
the
dressing-table
.
There
was
a
little
muslin
curtain
drawn
across
it
.
I
drew
it
back
;
and
stood
for
a
moment
looking
through
such
a
veil
of
my
own
hair
,
that
I
could
see
nothing
else
.
Then
I
put
my
hair
aside
,
and
looked
at
the
reflection
in
the
mirror
:
encouraged
by
seeing
how
placidly
it
looked
at
me
.
I
was
very
much
changed
—
O
very
,
very
much
.
At
first
,
my
face
was
so
strange
to
me
,
that
I
think
I
should
have
put
my
hands
before
it
and
started
back
,
but
for
the
encouragement
I
have
mentioned
.
Very
soon
it
became
more
familiar
,
and
then
I
knew
the
extent
of
the
alteration
in
it
better
than
I
had
done
at
first
.
It
was
not
like
what
I
had
expected
;
but
I
had
expected
nothing
definite
,
and
I
dare
say
anything
definite
would
have
surprised
me
.
I
had
never
been
a
beauty
,
and
had
never
thought
myself
one
;
but
I
had
been
very
different
from
this
.
It
was
all
gone
now
.
Heaven
was
so
good
to
me
,
that
I
could
let
it
go
with
a
few
not
bitter
tears
,
and
could
stand
there
arranging
my
hair
for
the
night
quite
thankfully
.
One
thing
troubled
me
,
and
I
considered
it
for
a
long
time
before
I
went
to
sleep
.
I
had
kept
Mr.
Woodcourt
's
flowers
.
When
they
were
withered
I
had
dried
them
,
and
put
them
in
a
book
that
I
was
fond
of
.
Nobody
knew
this
,
not
even
Ada
.
I
was
doubtful
whether
I
had
a
right
to
preserve
what
he
had
sent
to
one
so
different
—
whether
it
was
generous
towards
him
to
do
it
.
I
wished
to
be
generous
to
him
,
even
in
the
secret
depths
of
my
heart
,
which
he
would
never
know
,
because
I
could
have
loved
him
—
could
have
been
devoted
to
him
.
At
last
I
came
to
the
conclusion
that
I
might
keep
them
;
if
I
treasured
them
only
as
a
remembrance
of
what
was
irrevocably
past
and
gone
,
never
to
be
looked
back
on
any
more
,
in
any
other
light
.
I
hope
this
may
not
seem
trivial
.
I
was
very
much
in
earnest
.
I
took
care
to
be
up
early
in
the
morning
,
and
to
be
before
the
glass
when
Charley
came
in
on
tiptoe
.
“
Dear
,
dear
,
miss
!
”
cried
Charley
,
starting
.
“
Is
that
you
?
”
“
Yes
,
Charley
,
”
said
I
,
quietly
putting
up
my
hair
.
“
And
I
am
very
well
indeed
,
and
very
happy
.
”
I
saw
it
was
a
weight
off
Charley
's
mind
,
but
it
was
a
greater
weight
off
mine
.
I
knew
the
worst
now
,
and
was
composed
to
it
.
I
shall
not
conceal
,
as
I
go
on
,
the
weaknesses
I
could
not
quite
conquer
;
but
they
always
passed
from
me
soon
,
and
the
happier
frame
of
mind
stayed
by
me
faithfully
.
Wishing
to
be
fully
re-established
in
my
strength
and
my
good
spirits
before
Ada
came
,
I
now
laid
down
a
little
series
of
plans
with
Charley
for
being
in
the
fresh
air
all
day
long
.
We
were
to
be
out
before
breakfast
,
and
were
to
dine
early
,
and
were
to
be
out
again
before
and
after
dinner
,
and
were
to
walk
in
the
garden
after
tea
,
and
were
to
go
to
rest
betimes
,
and
were
to
climb
every
hill
and
explore
every
road
,
lane
,
and
field
in
the
neighbourhood
.
As
to
restoratives
and
strengthening
delicacies
,
Mr.
Boythorn
's
good
housekeeper
was
for
ever
trotting
about
with
something
to
eat
or
drink
in
her
hand
;
I
could
not
even
be
heard
of
as
resting
in
the
Park
,
but
she
would
come
trotting
after
me
with
a
basket
,
her
cheerful
face
shining
with
a
lecture
on
the
importance
of
frequent
nourishment
.
Then
there
was
a
pony
expressly
for
my
riding
,
a
chubby
pony
,
with
a
short
neck
and
a
mane
all
over
his
eyes
,
who
could
canter
—
when
he
would
—
so
easily
and
quietly
,
that
he
was
a
treasure
.
In
a
very
few
days
,
he
would
come
to
me
in
the
paddock
when
I
called
him
,
and
eat
out
of
my
hand
,
and
follow
me
about
.
We
arrived
at
such
a
capital
understanding
,
that
when
he
was
jogging
with
me
lazily
,
and
rather
obstinately
,
down
some
shady
lane
,
if
I
patted
his
neck
,
and
said
,
“
Stubbs
,
I
am
surprised
you
do
n't
canter
when
you
know
how
much
I
like
it
;
and
I
think
you
might
oblige
me
,
for
you
are
only
getting
stupid
and
going
to
sleep
,
”
he
would
give
his
head
a
comical
shake
or
two
,
and
set
off
directly
;
while
Charley
would
stand
still
and
laugh
with
such
enjoyment
,
that
her
laughter
was
like
music
.
I
do
n't
know
who
had
given
Stubbs
his
name
,
but
it
seemed
to
belong
to
him
as
naturally
as
his
rough
coat
.
Once
we
put
him
in
a
little
chaise
,
and
drove
him
triumphantly
through
the
green
lanes
for
five
miles
;
but
all
at
once
,
as
we
were
extolling
him
to
the
skies
,
he
seemed
to
take
it
ill
that
he
should
have
been
accompanied
so
far
by
the
circle
of
tantalising
little
gnats
,
that
had
been
hovering
round
and
round
his
ears
the
whole
way
without
appearing
to
advance
an
inch
;
and
stopped
to
think
about
it
.
I
suppose
he
came
to
the
decision
that
it
was
not
to
be
borne
;
for
he
steadily
refused
to
move
,
until
I
gave
the
reins
to
Charley
and
got
out
and
walked
;
when
he
followed
me
with
a
sturdy
sort
of
good-humour
,
putting
his
head
under
my
arm
,
and
rubbing
his
ear
against
my
sleeve
.
It
was
in
vain
for
me
to
say
,
“
Now
,
Stubbs
,
I
feel
quite
sure
from
what
I
know
of
you
,
that
you
will
go
on
if
I
ride
a
little
while
;
”
for
the
moment
I
left
him
,
he
stood
stock
still
again
.
Consequently
I
was
obliged
to
lead
the
way
,
as
before
;
and
in
this
order
we
returned
home
,
to
the
great
delight
of
the
village
.
Charley
and
I
had
reason
to
call
it
the
most
friendly
of
villages
,
I
am
sure
;
for
in
a
week
's
time
the
people
were
so
glad
to
see
us
go
by
,
though
ever
so
frequently
in
the
course
of
a
day
,
that
there
were
faces
of
greeting
in
every
cottage
.
I
had
known
many
of
the
grown
people
before
,
and
almost
all
the
children
;
but
now
the
very
steeple
began
to
wear
a
familiar
and
affectionate
look
.
Among
my
new
friends
was
an
old
old
woman
who
lived
in
such
a
little
thatched
and
whitewashed
dwelling
,
that
when
the
outside
shutter
was
turned
up
on
its
hinges
,
it
shut
up
the
whole
house-front
.
This
old
lady
had
a
grandson
who
was
a
sailor
;
and
I
wrote
a
letter
to
him
for
her
,
and
drew
at
the
top
of
it
the
chimney-corner
in
which
she
had
brought
him
up
,
and
where
his
old
stool
yet
occupied
its
old
place
.
This
was
considered
by
the
whole
village
the
most
wonderful
achievement
in
the
world
;
but
when
an
answer
came
back
all
the
way
from
Plymouth
,
in
which
he
mentioned
that
he
was
going
to
take
the
picture
all
the
way
to
America
,
and
from
America
would
write
again
,
I
got
all
the
credit
that
ought
to
have
been
given
to
the
Post-office
,
and
was
invested
with
the
merit
of
the
whole
system
.
Thus
,
what
with
being
so
much
in
the
air
,
playing
with
so
many
children
,
gossiping
with
so
many
people
,
sitting
on
invitation
in
so
many
cottages
,
going
on
with
Charley
's
education
,
and
writing
long
letters
to
Ada
every
day
,
I
had
scarcely
any
time
to
think
about
that
little
loss
of
mine
,
and
was
almost
always
cheerful
.
If
I
did
think
of
it
at
odd
moments
now
and
then
,
I
had
only
to
be
busy
and
forget
it
.
I
felt
it
more
than
I
had
hoped
I
should
,
once
,
when
a
child
said
“
Mother
,
why
is
the
lady
not
a
pretty
lady
now
,
like
she
used
to
be
?
”
But
when
I
found
the
child
was
not
less
fond
of
me
,
and
drew
its
soft
hand
over
my
face
with
a
kind
of
pitying
protection
in
its
touch
,
that
soon
set
me
up
again
.
There
were
many
little
occurrences
which
suggested
to
me
,
with
great
consolation
,
how
natural
it
is
to
gentle
hearts
to
be
considerate
and
delicate
towards
any
inferiority
.
One
of
these
particularly
touched
me
.
I
happened
to
stroll
into
the
little
church
when
a
marriage
was
just
concluded
,
and
the
young
couple
had
to
sign
the
register
.
The
bridegroom
,
to
whom
the
pen
was
handed
first
,
made
a
rude
cross
for
his
mark
;
the
bride
,
who
came
next
,
did
the
same
.
Now
,
I
had
known
the
bride
when
I
was
last
there
,
not
only
as
the
prettiest
girl
in
the
place
,
but
as
having
quite
distinguished
herself
in
the
school
;
and
I
could
not
help
looking
at
her
with
some
surprise
.
She
came
aside
and
whispered
to
me
,
while
tears
of
honest
love
and
admiration
stood
in
her
bright
eyes
,
“
He
's
a
dear
good
fellow
,
miss
;
but
he
ca
n't
write
,
yet
—
he
's
going
to
learn
of
me
—
and
I
would
n't
shame
him
for
the
world
!
”
Why
,
what
had
I
to
fear
,
I
thought
,
when
there
was
this
nobility
in
the
soul
of
a
laboring
man
's
daughter
!
The
air
blew
as
freshly
and
revivingly
upon
me
as
it
had
ever
blown
,
and
the
healthy
color
came
into
my
new
face
as
it
had
come
into
my
old
one
.
Charley
was
wonderful
to
see
,
she
was
so
radiant
and
so
rosy
;
and
we
both
enjoyed
the
whole
day
,
and
slept
soundly
the
whole
night
.
There
was
a
favorite
spot
of
mine
in
the
park-woods
of
Chesney
Wold
,
where
a
seat
had
been
erected
commanding
a
lovely
view
.
The
wood
had
been
cleared
and
opened
,
to
improve
this
point
of
sight
;
and
the
bright
sunny
landscape
beyond
,
was
so
beautiful
that
I
rested
there
at
least
once
every
day
.
A
picturesque
part
of
the
Hall
,
called
The
Ghost
's
Walk
,
was
seen
to
advantage
from
this
higher
ground
;
and
the
startling
name
,
and
the
old
legend
in
the
Dedlock
family
which
I
had
heard
from
Mr.
Boythorn
,
accounting
for
it
,
mingled
with
the
view
and
gave
it
something
of
a
mysterious
interest
,
in
addition
to
its
real
charms
.
There
was
a
bank
here
,
too
,
which
was
a
famous
one
for
violets
;
and
as
it
was
a
daily
delight
of
Charley
's
to
gather
wild
flowers
,
she
took
as
much
to
the
spot
as
I
did
.
It
would
be
idle
to
enquire
now
why
I
never
went
close
to
the
house
,
or
never
went
inside
it
.
The
family
were
not
there
,
I
had
heard
on
my
arrival
,
and
were
not
expected
.
I
was
far
from
being
incurious
or
uninterested
about
the
building
;
on
the
contrary
,
I
often
sat
in
this
place
,
wondering
how
the
rooms
ranged
,
and
whether
any
echo
like
a
footstep
really
did
resound
at
times
,
as
the
story
said
,
upon
the
lonely
Ghost
's
Walk
.
The
indefinable
feeling
with
which
Lady
Dedlock
had
impressed
me
,
may
have
had
some
influence
in
keeping
me
from
the
house
even
when
she
was
absent
.
I
am
not
sure
.
Her
face
and
figure
were
associated
with
it
,
naturally
;
but
I
cannot
say
that
they
repelled
me
from
it
,
though
something
did
.
For
whatever
reason
or
no
reason
,
I
had
never
once
gone
near
it
,
down
to
the
day
at
which
my
story
now
arrives
.
I
was
resting
at
my
favorite
point
,
after
a
long
ramble
,
and
Charley
was
gathering
violets
at
a
little
distance
from
me
.
I
had
been
looking
at
the
Ghost
's
Walk
lying
in
a
deep
shade
of
masonry
afar
off
,
and
picturing
to
myself
the
female
shape
that
was
said
to
haunt
it
,
when
I
became
aware
of
a
figure
approaching
through
the
wood
.
The
perspective
was
so
long
,
and
so
darkened
by
leaves
,
and
the
shadows
of
the
branches
on
the
ground
made
it
so
much
more
intricate
to
the
eye
,
that
at
first
I
could
not
discern
what
figure
it
was
.
By
little
and
little
,
it
revealed
itself
to
be
a
woman
's
—
a
lady
's
—
Lady
Dedlock
's
.
She
was
alone
,
and
coming
to
where
I
sat
with
a
much
quicker
step
,
I
observed
to
my
surprise
,
than
was
usual
with
her
.
I
was
fluttered
by
her
being
unexpectedly
so
near
(
she
was
almost
within
speaking
distance
before
I
knew
her
)
,
and
would
have
risen
to
continue
my
walk
.
But
I
could
not
.
I
was
rendered
motionless
.
Not
so
much
by
her
hurried
gesture
of
entreaty
,
not
so
much
by
her
quick
advance
and
outstretched
hands
,
not
so
much
by
the
great
change
in
her
manner
,
and
the
absence
of
her
haughty
self-restraint
,
as
by
a
something
in
her
face
that
I
had
pined
for
and
dreamed
of
when
I
was
a
little
child
;
something
I
had
never
seen
in
any
face
;
something
I
had
never
seen
in
hers
before
.
A
dread
and
faintness
fell
upon
me
,
and
I
called
to
Charley
.
Lady
Dedlock
stopped
,
upon
the
instant
,
and
changed
back
almost
to
what
I
had
known
her
.
“
Miss
Summerson
,
I
am
afraid
I
have
startled
you
,
”
she
said
,
now
advancing
slowly
.
“
You
can
scarcely
be
strong
yet
.
You
have
been
very
ill
,
I
know
.
I
have
been
much
concerned
to
hear
it
.
”
I
could
no
more
have
removed
my
eyes
from
her
pale
face
,
than
I
could
have
stirred
from
the
bench
on
which
I
sat
.
She
gave
me
her
hand
;
and
its
deadly
coldness
,
so
at
variance
with
the
enforced
composure
of
her
features
,
deepened
the
fascination
that
overpowered
me
.
I
cannot
say
what
was
in
my
whirling
thoughts
.
“
You
are
recovering
again
?
”
she
asked
,
kindly
.
“
I
was
quite
well
but
a
moment
ago
,
Lady
Dedlock
.
”
“
Is
this
your
young
attendant
?
”
“
Yes
.
”
“
Will
you
send
her
on
before
,
and
walk
towards
your
house
with
me
?
”
“
Charley
,
”
said
I
,
“
take
your
flowers
home
,
and
I
will
follow
you
directly
.
”
Charley
,
with
her
best
curtsey
,
blushingly
tied
on
her
bonnet
,
and
went
her
way
.
When
she
was
gone
,
Lady
Dedlock
sat
down
on
the
seat
beside
me
.
I
cannot
tell
in
any
words
what
the
state
of
my
mind
was
,
when
I
saw
in
her
hand
my
handkerchief
,
with
which
I
had
covered
the
dead
baby
.
I
looked
at
her
;
but
I
could
not
see
her
,
I
could
not
hear
her
,
I
could
not
draw
my
breath
.
The
beating
of
my
heart
was
so
violent
and
wild
,
that
I
felt
as
if
my
life
were
breaking
from
me
.
But
when
she
caught
me
to
her
breast
,
kissed
me
,
wept
over
me
,
compassionated
me
,
and
called
me
back
to
myself
;
when
she
fell
down
on
her
knees
and
cried
to
me
,
“
O
my
child
,
my
child
,
I
am
your
wicked
and
unhappy
mother
!
O
try
to
forgive
me
!
”
—
when
I
saw
her
at
my
feet
on
the
bare
earth
in
her
great
agony
of
mind
,
I
felt
,
through
all
my
tumult
of
emotion
,
a
burst
of
gratitude
to
the
providence
of
God
that
I
was
so
changed
as
that
I
never
could
disgrace
her
by
any
trace
of
likeness
;
as
that
nobody
could
ever
now
look
at
me
,
and
look
at
her
,
and
remotely
think
of
any
near
tie
between
us
.
I
raised
my
mother
up
,
praying
and
beseeching
her
not
to
stoop
before
me
in
such
affliction
and
humiliation
.
I
did
so
,
in
broken
incoherent
words
;
for
,
besides
the
trouble
I
was
in
,
it
frightened
me
to
see
her
at
my
feet
.
I
told
her
—
or
I
tried
to
tell
her
—
that
if
it
were
for
me
,
her
child
,
under
any
circumstances
to
take
upon
me
to
forgive
her
,
I
did
it
,
and
had
done
it
,
many
,
many
years
.
I
told
her
that
my
heart
overflowed
with
love
for
her
;
that
it
was
natural
love
,
which
nothing
in
the
past
had
changed
,
or
could
change
.
That
it
was
not
for
me
,
then
resting
for
the
first
time
on
my
mother
's
bosom
,
to
take
her
to
account
for
having
given
me
life
;
but
that
my
duty
was
to
bless
her
and
receive
her
,
though
the
whole
world
turned
from
her
,
and
that
I
only
asked
her
leave
to
do
it
.
I
held
my
mother
in
my
embrace
,
and
she
held
me
in
hers
;
and
among
the
still
woods
in
the
silence
of
the
summer
day
,
there
seemed
to
be
nothing
but
our
two
troubled
minds
that
was
not
at
peace
.
“
To
bless
and
receive
me
,
”
groaned
my
mother
,
“
it
is
far
too
late
.
I
must
travel
my
dark
road
alone
,
and
it
will
lead
me
where
it
will
.
From
day
to
day
,
sometimes
from
hour
to
hour
,
I
do
not
see
the
way
before
my
guilty
feet
.
This
is
the
earthly
punishment
I
have
brought
upon
myself
.
I
bear
it
,
and
I
hide
it
.
”
Even
in
the
thinking
of
her
endurance
,
she
drew
her
habitual
air
of
proud
indifference
about
her
like
a
veil
,
though
she
soon
cast
it
off
again
.
“
I
must
keep
this
secret
,
if
by
any
means
it
can
be
kept
,
not
wholly
for
myself
.
I
have
a
husband
,
wretched
and
dishonoring
creature
that
I
am
!
”
These
words
she
uttered
with
a
suppressed
cry
of
despair
,
more
terrible
in
its
sound
than
any
shriek
.
Covering
her
face
with
her
hands
,
she
shrunk
down
in
my
embrace
as
if
she
were
unwilling
that
I
should
touch
her
;
nor
could
I
,
by
my
utmost
persuasions
,
or
by
any
endearments
I
could
use
,
prevail
upon
her
to
rise
.
She
said
,
No
,
no
,
no
,
she
could
only
speak
to
me
so
;
she
must
be
proud
and
disdainful
everywhere
else
;
she
would
be
humbled
and
ashamed
there
,
in
the
only
natural
moments
of
her
life
.
My
unhappy
mother
told
me
that
in
my
illness
she
had
been
nearly
frantic
.
She
had
but
then
known
that
her
child
was
living
.
She
could
not
have
suspected
me
to
be
that
child
before
.
She
had
followed
me
down
here
,
to
speak
to
me
but
once
in
all
her
life
.
We
never
could
associate
,
never
could
communicate
,
never
probably
from
that
time
forth
could
interchange
another
word
,
on
earth
.
She
put
into
my
hands
a
letter
she
had
written
for
my
reading
only
;
and
said
,
when
I
had
read
it
,
and
destroyed
it
—
but
not
so
much
for
her
sake
,
since
she
asked
nothing
,
as
for
her
husband
's
and
my
own
—
I
must
evermore
consider
her
as
dead
.
If
I
could
believe
that
she
loved
me
,
in
this
agony
in
which
I
saw
her
,
with
a
mother
's
love
,
she
asked
me
to
do
that
;
for
then
I
might
think
of
her
with
a
greater
pity
,
imagining
what
she
suffered
.
She
had
put
herself
beyond
all
hope
,
and
beyond
all
help
.
Whether
she
preserved
her
secret
until
death
,
or
it
came
to
be
discovered
and
she
brought
dishonor
and
disgrace
upon
the
name
she
had
taken
,
it
was
her
solitary
struggle
always
;
and
no
affection
could
come
near
her
,
and
no
human
creature
could
render
her
any
aid
.
“
But
is
the
secret
safe
so
far
?
”
I
asked
.
“
Is
it
safe
now
,
dearest
mother
?
”
“
No
,
”
replied
my
mother
.
“
It
has
been
very
near
discovery
.
It
was
saved
by
an
accident
.
It
may
be
lost
by
another
accident
—
to-morrow
,
any
day
.
”
“
Do
you
dread
a
particular
person
?
”
“
Hush
!
Do
not
tremble
and
cry
so
much
for
me
.
I
am
not
worthy
of
these
tears
,
”
said
my
mother
,
kissing
my
hands
.
“
I
dread
one
person
very
much
.
”
“
An
enemy
?
”
“
Not
a
friend
.
One
who
is
too
passionless
to
be
either
.
He
is
Sir
Leicester
Dedlock
's
lawyer
;
mechanically
faithful
without
attachment
,
and
very
jealous
of
the
profit
,
privilege
,
and
reputation
of
being
master
of
the
mysteries
of
great
houses
.
”
“
Has
he
any
suspicious
?
”
“
Many
.
”
“
Not
of
you
?
”
I
said
alarmed
.
“
Yes
!
He
is
always
vigilant
,
and
always
near
me
.
I
may
keep
him
at
a
stand
still
,
but
I
can
never
shake
him
off
.
”
“
Has
he
so
little
pity
or
compunction
?
”
“
He
has
none
,
and
no
anger
.
He
is
indifferent
to
everything
but
his
calling
.
His
calling
is
the
acquisition
of
secrets
,
and
the
holding
possession
of
such
power
as
they
give
him
,
with
no
sharer
or
opponent
in
it
.
”
“
Could
you
trust
in
him
?
”
“
I
shall
never
try
.
The
dark
road
I
have
trodden
for
so
many
years
will
end
where
it
will
.
I
follow
it
alone
to
the
end
,
whatever
the
end
be
.
It
may
be
near
,
it
may
be
distant
;
while
the
road
lasts
,
nothing
turns
me
.
”
“
Dear
mother
,
are
you
so
resolved
?
”
“
I
am
resolved
.
I
have
long
outbidden
folly
with
folly
,
pride
with
pride
,
scorn
with
scorn
,
insolence
with
insolence
,
and
have
outlived
many
vanities
with
many
more
.
I
will
outlive
this
danger
,
and
outdie
it
,
if
I
can
.
It
has
closed
around
me
,
almost
as
awfully
as
if
these
woods
of
Chesney
Wold
had
closed
around
the
house
;
but
my
course
through
it
is
the
same
.
I
have
but
one
;
I
can
have
but
one
.
”
“
Mr.
Jarndyce
—
”
I
was
beginning
,
when
my
mother
hurriedly
enquired
:
“
Does
he
suspect
?
”
“
No
,
”
said
I
.
“
No
,
indeed
!
Be
assured
that
he
does
not
!
”
And
I
told
her
what
he
had
related
to
me
as
his
knowledge
of
my
story
.
“
But
he
is
so
good
and
sensible
,
”
said
I
,
“
that
perhaps
if
he
knew
—
”
My
mother
,
who
until
this
time
had
made
no
change
in
her
position
,
raised
her
hand
up
to
my
lips
,
and
stopped
me
.
“
Confide
fully
in
him
,
”
she
said
,
after
a
little
while
.
“
You
have
my
free
consent
—
a
small
gift
from
such
a
mother
to
her
injured
child
!
—
but
do
not
tell
me
of
it
.
Some
pride
is
left
in
me
,
even
yet
.
”
I
explained
,
as
nearly
as
I
could
then
,
or
can
recal
now
—
for
my
agitation
and
distress
throughout
were
so
great
that
I
scarcely
understood
myself
,
though
every
word
that
was
uttered
in
the
mother
's
voice
,
so
unfamiliar
and
so
melancholy
to
me
;
which
in
my
childhood
I
had
never
learned
to
love
and
recognise
,
had
never
been
sung
to
sleep
with
,
had
never
heard
a
blessing
from
,
had
never
had
a
hope
inspired
by
;
made
an
enduring
impression
on
my
memory
—
I
say
I
explained
,
or
tried
to
do
it
,
how
I
had
only
hoped
that
Mr.
Jarndyce
,
who
had
been
the
best
of
fathers
to
me
,
might
be
able
to
afford
some
counsel
and
support
to
her
.
But
my
mother
answered
no
,
it
was
impossible
;
no
one
could
help
her
.
Through
the
desert
that
lay
before
her
,
she
must
go
alone
.
“
My
child
,
my
child
!
”
she
said
.
“
For
the
last
time
!
These
kisses
for
the
last
time
!
These
arms
upon
my
neck
for
the
last
time
!
We
shall
meet
no
more
.
To
hope
to
do
what
I
seek
to
do
,
I
must
be
what
I
have
been
so
long
.
Such
is
my
reward
and
doom
.
If
you
hear
of
Lady
Dedlock
,
brilliant
,
prosperous
,
and
flattered
;
think
of
your
wretched
mother
,
conscience-stricken
,
underneath
that
mask
!
Think
that
the
reality
is
in
her
suffering
,
in
her
useless
remorse
,
in
her
murdering
within
her
breast
the
only
love
and
truth
of
which
it
is
capable
!
And
then
forgive
her
,
if
you
can
;
and
cry
to
Heaven
to
forgive
her
,
which
it
never
can
!
”
We
held
one
another
for
a
little
space
yet
,
but
she
was
so
firm
,
that
she
took
my
hands
away
,
and
put
them
back
against
my
breast
,
and
,
with
a
last
kiss
as
she
held
them
there
,
released
them
,
and
went
from
me
into
the
wood
.
I
was
alone
;
and
,
calm
and
quiet
below
me
in
the
sun
and
shade
,
lay
the
old
house
,
with
its
terraces
and
turrets
,
on
which
there
had
seemed
to
me
to
be
such
complete
repose
when
I
first
saw
it
,
but
which
now
looked
like
the
obdurate
and
unpitying
watcher
of
my
mother
's
misery
.
Stunned
as
I
was
,
as
weak
and
helpless
at
first
as
I
had
ever
been
in
my
sick
chamber
,
the
necessity
of
guarding
against
the
danger
of
discovery
,
or
even
of
the
remotest
suspicion
,
did
me
service
.
I
took
such
precautions
as
I
could
to
hide
from
Charley
that
I
had
been
crying
;
and
I
constrained
myself
to
think
of
every
sacred
obligation
that
there
was
upon
me
to
be
careful
and
collected
.
It
was
not
a
little
while
before
I
could
succeed
,
or
could
even
restrain
bursts
of
grief
;
but
after
an
hour
or
so
,
I
was
better
,
and
felt
that
I
might
return
.
I
went
home
very
slowly
,
and
told
Charley
,
whom
I
found
at
the
gate
looking
for
me
,
that
I
had
been
tempted
to
extend
my
walk
after
Lady
Dedlock
had
left
me
,
and
that
I
was
over-tired
,
and
would
lie
down
.
Safe
in
my
own
room
,
I
read
the
letter
.
I
clearly
derived
from
it
—
and
that
was
much
then
—
that
I
had
not
been
abandoned
by
my
mother
.
Her
elder
and
only
sister
,
the
godmother
of
my
childhood
,
discovering
signs
of
life
in
me
when
I
had
been
laid
aside
as
dead
,
had
,
in
her
stern
sense
of
duty
,
with
no
desire
or
willingness
that
I
should
live
,
reared
me
in
rigid
secrecy
,
and
had
never
again
beheld
my
mother
's
face
from
within
a
few
hours
of
my
birth
.
So
strangely
did
I
hold
my
place
in
this
world
,
that
,
until
within
a
short
time
back
,
I
had
never
,
to
my
own
mother
's
knowledge
,
breathed
—
had
been
buried
—
had
never
been
endowed
with
life
—
had
never
borne
a
name
.
When
she
had
first
seen
me
in
the
church
,
she
had
been
startled
;
and
had
thought
of
what
would
have
been
like
me
,
if
it
had
ever
lived
,
and
had
lived
on
;
but
that
was
all
,
then
.
What
more
the
letter
told
me
,
needs
not
to
be
repeated
here
.
It
has
its
own
times
and
places
in
my
story
.
My
first
care
was
to
burn
what
my
mother
had
written
,
and
to
consume
even
its
ashes
.
I
hope
it
may
not
appear
very
unnatural
or
bad
in
me
,
that
I
then
became
heavily
sorrowful
to
think
I
had
ever
been
reared
.
That
I
felt
as
if
I
knew
it
would
have
been
better
and
happier
for
many
people
,
if
indeed
I
had
never
breathed
.
That
I
had
a
terror
of
myself
,
as
the
danger
and
the
possible
disgrace
of
my
own
mother
,
and
of
a
proud
family
name
.
That
I
was
so
confused
and
shaken
,
as
to
be
possessed
by
a
belief
that
it
was
right
,
and
had
been
intended
,
that
I
should
die
in
my
birth
;
and
that
it
was
wrong
,
and
not
intended
,
that
I
should
be
then
alive
.
These
are
the
real
feelings
that
I
had
.
I
fell
asleep
,
worn
out
;
and
when
I
awoke
,
I
cried
afresh
to
think
that
I
was
back
in
the
world
,
with
my
load
of
trouble
for
others
.
I
was
more
than
ever
frightened
of
myself
,
thinking
anew
of
her
,
against
whom
I
was
a
witness
;
of
the
owner
of
Chesney
Wold
;
of
the
new
and
terrible
meaning
of
the
old
words
,
now
moaning
in
my
ear
like
a
surge
upon
the
shore
,
“
Your
mother
,
Esther
,
was
your
disgrace
,
and
you
are
hers
.
The
time
will
come
—
and
soon
enough
—
when
you
will
understand
this
better
,
and
will
feel
it
too
,
as
no
one
save
a
woman
can
.
”
With
them
,
those
other
words
returned
,
“
Pray
daily
that
the
sins
of
others
be
not
visited
upon
your
head
.
”
I
could
not
disentangle
all
that
was
about
me
;
and
I
felt
as
if
the
blame
and
the
shame
were
all
in
me
,
and
the
visitation
had
come
down
.
The
day
waned
into
a
gloomy
evening
,
overcast
and
sad
,
and
I
still
contended
with
the
same
distress
.
I
went
out
alone
;
and
,
after
walking
a
little
in
the
park
,
watching
the
dark
shades
falling
on
the
trees
,
and
the
fitful
flight
of
the
bats
,
which
sometimes
almost
touched
me
,
was
attracted
to
the
house
for
the
first
time
.
Perhaps
I
might
not
have
gone
near
it
,
if
I
had
been
in
a
stronger
frame
of
mind
.
As
it
was
,
I
took
the
path
that
led
close
by
it
.
I
did
not
dare
to
linger
or
to
look
up
,
but
I
passed
before
the
terrace
garden
with
its
fragrant
odors
,
and
its
broad
walks
,
and
its
well-kept
beds
and
smooth
turf
;
and
I
saw
how
beautiful
and
grave
it
was
,
and
how
the
old
stone
balustrades
and
parapets
,
and
wide
flights
of
shallow
steps
,
were
seamed
by
time
and
weather
;
and
how
the
trained
moss
and
ivy
grew
about
them
,
and
around
the
old
stone
pedestal
of
the
sun-dial
;
and
I
heard
the
fountain
falling
.
Then
the
way
went
by
long
lines
of
dark
windows
,
diversified
by
turreted
towers
,
and
porches
,
of
eccentric
shapes
,
where
old
stone
lions
and
grotesque
monsters
bristled
outside
dens
of
shadow
,
and
snarled
at
the
evening
gloom
over
the
escutcheons
they
held
in
their
grip
.
Thence
the
path
wound
underneath
a
gateway
,
and
through
a
court-yard
where
the
principal
entrance
was
(
I
hurried
quickly
on
)
,
and
by
the
stables
where
none
but
deep
voices
seemed
to
be
,
whether
in
the
murmuring
of
the
wind
through
the
strong
mass
of
ivy
holding
to
a
high
red
wall
,
or
in
the
low
complaining
of
the
weathercock
,
or
in
the
barking
of
the
dogs
,
or
in
the
slow
striking
of
a
clock
.
So
,
encountering
presently
a
sweet
smell
of
limes
whose
rustling
I
could
hear
,
I
turned
with
the
turning
of
the
path
,
to
the
south
front
;
and
there
,
above
me
,
were
the
balustrades
of
the
Ghost
's
Walk
,
and
one
lighted
window
that
might
be
my
mother
's
.
The
way
was
paved
here
,
like
the
terrace
overhead
,
and
my
footsteps
from
being
noiseless
made
an
echoing
sound
upon
the
flags
.
Stopping
to
look
at
nothing
,
but
seeing
all
I
did
see
as
I
went
,
I
was
passing
quickly
on
,
and
in
a
few
moments
should
have
passed
the
lighted
window
,
when
my
echoing
footsteps
brought
it
suddenly
into
my
mind
that
there
was
a
dreadful
truth
in
the
legend
of
the
Ghost
's
Walk
;
that
it
was
I
,
who
was
to
bring
calamity
upon
the
stately
house
;
and
that
my
warning
feet
were
haunting
it
even
then
.
Seized
with
an
augmented
terror
of
myself
which
turned
me
cold
,
I
ran
from
myself
and
everything
,
retraced
the
way
by
which
I
had
come
,
and
never
paused
until
I
had
gained
the
lodge-gate
,
and
the
park
lay
sullen
and
black
behind
me
.
Not
before
I
was
alone
in
my
own
room
for
the
night
,
and
had
again
been
dejected
and
unhappy
there
,
did
I
begin
to
know
how
wrong
and
thankless
this
state
was
.
But
,
from
my
darling
who
was
coming
on
the
morrow
,
I
found
a
joyful
letter
,
full
of
such
loving
anticipation
that
I
must
have
been
of
marble
if
it
had
not
moved
me
;
from
my
guardian
too
I
found
another
letter
,
asking
me
to
tell
Dame
Durden
,
if
I
should
see
that
little
woman
anywhere
,
that
they
had
moped
most
pitiably
without
her
,
that
the
housekeeping
was
going
to
rack
and
ruin
,
that
nobody
else
could
manage
the
keys
,
and
that
everybody
in
and
about
the
house
declared
it
was
not
the
same
house
,
and
was
becoming
rebellious
for
her
return
.
Two
such
letters
together
made
me
think
how
far
beyond
my
deserts
I
was
beloved
,
and
how
happy
I
ought
to
be
.
That
made
me
think
of
all
my
past
life
;
and
that
brought
me
,
as
it
ought
to
have
done
before
,
into
a
better
condition
.
For
,
I
saw
very
well
that
I
could
not
have
been
intended
to
die
,
or
I
should
never
have
lived
:
not
to
say
should
never
have
been
reserved
for
such
a
happy
life
.
I
saw
very
well
how
many
things
had
worked
together
,
for
my
welfare
;
and
that
if
the
sins
of
the
fathers
were
sometimes
visited
upon
the
children
,
the
phrase
did
not
mean
what
I
had
in
the
morning
feared
it
meant
.
I
knew
I
was
as
innocent
of
my
birth
,
as
a
queen
of
hers
;
and
that
before
my
Heavenly
Father
I
should
not
be
punished
for
birth
,
nor
a
queen
rewarded
for
it
.
I
had
had
experience
,
in
the
shock
of
that
very
day
,
that
I
could
,
even
thus
soon
,
find
comforting
reconcilements
to
the
change
that
had
fallen
on
me
.
I
renewed
my
resolutions
,
and
prayed
to
be
strengthened
in
them
;
pouring
out
my
heart
for
myself
,
and
for
my
unhappy
mother
,
and
feeling
that
the
darkness
of
the
morning
was
passing
away
.
It
was
not
upon
my
sleep
;
and
when
the
next
day
's
light
awoke
me
,
it
was
gone
.
My
dear
girl
was
to
arrive
at
five
o'clock
in
the
afternoon
.
How
to
help
myself
through
the
intermediate
time
better
than
by
taking
a
long
walk
along
the
road
by
which
she
was
to
come
,
I
did
not
know
;
so
Charley
and
I
and
Stubbs
—
Stubbs
,
saddled
,
for
we
never
drove
him
after
the
one
great
occasion
—
made
a
long
expedition
along
that
road
,
and
back
.
On
our
return
,
we
held
a
great
review
of
the
house
and
garden
;
and
saw
that
everything
was
in
its
prettiest
condition
,
and
had
the
bird
out
ready
as
an
important
part
of
the
establishment
.
There
were
more
than
two
full
hours
yet
to
elapse
,
before
she
could
come
;
and
in
that
interval
,
which
seemed
a
long
one
,
I
must
confess
I
was
nervously
anxious
about
my
altered
looks
.
I
loved
my
darling
so
well
that
I
was
more
concerned
for
their
effect
on
her
than
on
any
one
.
I
was
not
in
this
slight
distress
because
I
at
all
repined
—
I
am
quite
certain
I
did
not
,
that
day
—
but
,
I
thought
,
would
she
be
wholly
prepared
?
When
she
first
saw
me
,
might
she
not
be
a
little
shocked
and
disappointed
?
Might
it
not
prove
a
little
worse
than
she
had
expected
?
Might
she
not
look
for
her
old
Esther
,
and
not
find
her
?
Might
she
not
have
to
grow
used
to
me
,
and
to
begin
all
over
again
?
I
knew
the
various
expressions
of
my
sweet
girl
's
face
so
well
,
and
it
was
such
an
honest
face
in
its
loveliness
,
that
I
was
sure
,
beforehand
,
she
could
not
hide
that
first
look
from
me
.
And
I
considered
whether
,
if
it
should
signify
any
one
of
these
meanings
,
which
was
so
very
likely
,
could
I
quite
answer
for
myself
?
Well
,
I
thought
I
could
.
After
last
night
,
I
thought
I
could
.
But
to
wait
and
wait
,
and
expect
and
expect
,
and
think
and
think
,
was
such
bad
preparation
,
that
I
resolved
to
go
along
the
road
again
,
and
meet
her
.
So
I
said
to
Charley
,
“
Charley
,
I
will
go
by
myself
and
walk
along
the
road
until
she
comes
.
”
Charley
highly
approving
of
anything
that
pleased
me
,
I
went
,
and
left
her
at
home
.
But
before
I
got
to
the
second
mile-stone
,
I
had
been
in
so
many
palpitations
from
seeing
dust
in
the
distance
(
though
I
knew
it
was
not
,
and
could
not
be
,
the
coach
yet
)
,
that
I
resolved
to
turn
back
and
go
home
again
.
And
when
I
had
turned
,
I
was
in
such
fear
of
the
coach
coming
up
behind
me
(
though
I
still
knew
that
it
neither
would
,
nor
could
,
do
any
such
thing
)
,
that
I
ran
the
greater
part
of
the
way
,
to
avoid
being
overtaken
.
Then
,
I
considered
,
when
I
had
got
safe
back
again
,
this
was
a
nice
thing
to
have
done
!
Now
I
was
hot
,
and
had
made
the
worst
of
it
,
instead
of
the
best
.
At
last
,
when
I
believed
there
was
at
least
a
quarter
of
an
hour
more
yet
,
Charley
all
at
once
cried
out
to
me
as
I
was
trembling
in
the
garden
,
“
Here
she
comes
,
miss
!
Here
she
is
!
”
I
did
not
mean
to
do
it
,
but
I
ran
up-stairs
into
my
room
,
and
hid
myself
behind
the
door
.
There
I
stood
,
trembling
,
even
when
I
heard
my
darling
calling
as
she
came
up-stairs
,
“
Esther
,
my
dear
,
my
love
,
where
are
you
?
Little
woman
,
dear
Dame
Durden
!
”
She
ran
in
,
and
was
running
out
again
when
she
saw
me
.
Ah
,
my
angel
girl
!
the
old
dear
look
,
all
love
,
all
fondness
,
all
affection
.
Nothing
else
in
it
—
no
,
nothing
,
nothing
!
O
how
happy
I
was
,
down
upon
the
floor
,
with
my
sweet
beautiful
girl
down
upon
the
floor
too
,
holding
my
scarred
face
to
her
lovely
cheek
,
bathing
it
with
tears
and
kisses
,
rocking
me
to
and
fro
like
a
child
,
calling
me
by
every
tender
name
that
she
could
think
of
,
and
pressing
me
to
her
faithful
heart
.
CHAPTER
XXXVII
.
JARNDYCE
AND
JARNDYCE
.
IF
the
secret
that
I
had
to
keep
had
been
mine
,
I
must
have
confided
it
to
Ada
before
we
had
been
long
together
.
But
it
was
not
mine
;
and
I
did
not
feel
that
I
had
a
right
to
tell
it
,
even
to
my
guardian
,
unless
some
great
emergency
arose
.
It
was
a
weight
to
bear
alone
;
still
my
present
duty
appeared
to
be
plain
,
and
,
blest
in
the
attachment
of
my
dear
,
I
did
not
want
an
impulse
and
encouragement
to
do
it
.
Though
often
when
she
was
asleep
and
all
was
quiet
,
the
remembrance
of
my
mother
kept
me
waking
,
and
made
the
night
sorrowful
,
I
did
not
yield
to
it
at
another
time
;
and
Ada
found
me
what
I
used
to
be
—
except
,
of
course
,
in
that
particular
of
which
I
have
said
enough
,
and
which
I
have
no
intention
of
mentioning
any
more
,
just
now
,
if
I
can
help
it
.
The
difficulty
that
I
felt
in
being
quite
composed
that
first
evening
,
when
Ada
asked
me
,
over
our
work
,
if
the
family
were
at
the
House
,
and
when
I
was
obliged
to
answer
yes
,
I
believed
so
,
for
Lady
Dedlock
had
spoken
to
me
in
the
woods
the
day
before
yesterday
,
was
great
.
Greater
still
,
when
Ada
asked
me
what
she
had
said
,
and
when
I
replied
that
she
had
been
kind
and
interested
;
and
when
Ada
,
while
admitting
her
beauty
and
elegance
,
remarked
upon
her
proud
manner
,
and
her
imperious
chilling
air
.
But
Charley
helped
me
through
unconsciously
,
by
telling
us
that
Lady
Dedlock
had
only
stayed
at
the
House
two
nights
,
on
her
way
from
London
to
visit
at
some
other
great
house
in
the
next
county
;
and
that
she
had
left
early
on
the
morning
after
we
had
seen
her
at
our
view
,
as
we
called
it
.
Charley
verified
the
adage
about
little
pitchers
,
I
am
sure
;
for
she
heard
of
more
sayings
and
doings
,
in
a
day
,
than
would
have
come
to
my
ears
in
a
month
.
We
were
to
stay
a
month
at
Mr.
Boythorn
's
.
My
pet
had
scarcely
been
there
a
bright
week
,
as
I
recollect
the
time
,
when
one
evening
after
we
had
finished
helping
the
gardener
in
watering
his
flowers
,
and
just
as
the
candles
were
lighted
,
Charley
,
appearing
with
a
very
important
air
behind
Ada
's
chair
,
beckoned
me
mysteriously
out
of
the
room
.
“
Oh
!
if
you
please
,
miss
,
”
said
Charley
,
in
a
whisper
,
with
her
eyes
at
their
roundest
and
largest
.
“
You
're
wanted
at
the
Dedlock
Arms
.
”
“
Why
,
Charley
,
”
said
I
,
“
who
can
possibly
want
me
at
the
public-house
?
”
“
I
do
n't
know
,
miss
,
”
returned
Charley
,
putting
her
head
forward
,
and
folding
her
hands
tight
upon
the
band
of
her
little
apron
;
which
she
always
did
,
in
the
enjoyment
of
anything
mysterious
or
confidential
,
“
but
it
's
a
gentleman
,
miss
,
and
his
compliments
,
and
will
you
please
to
come
without
saying
anything
about
it
.
”
“
Whose
compliments
,
Charley
?
”
“
His'n
,
miss
,
”
returned
Charley
:
whose
grammatical
education
was
advancing
,
but
not
very
rapidly
.
“
And
how
do
you
come
to
be
the
messenger
,
Charley
?
”
“
I
am
not
the
messenger
,
if
you
please
,
miss
,
”
returned
my
little
maid
.
“
It
was
W
.
Grubble
,
miss.
”
“
And
who
is
W
.
Grubble
,
Charley
?
”
“
Mister
Grubble
,
miss
,
”
returned
Charley
.
“
Do
n't
you
know
,
miss
?
The
Dedlock
Arms
,
by
W
.
Grubble
,
”
which
Charley
delivered
as
if
she
were
slowly
spelling
out
the
sign
.
“
Aye
?
The
landlord
,
Charley
?
”
“
Yes
,
miss.
If
you
please
,
miss
,
his
wife
is
a
beautiful
woman
,
but
she
broke
her
ankle
and
it
never
joined
.
And
her
brother
's
the
sawyer
,
that
was
put
in
the
cage
,
miss
,
and
they
expect
he
'll
drink
himself
to
death
entirely
on
beer
,
”
said
Charley
.
Not
knowing
what
might
be
the
matter
,
and
being
easily
apprehensive
now
,
I
thought
it
best
to
go
to
this
place
by
myself
.
I
bade
Charley
be
quick
with
my
bonnet
and
veil
,
and
my
shawl
;
and
having
put
them
on
,
went
away
down
the
little
hilly
street
,
where
I
was
as
much
at
home
as
in
Mr.
Boythorn
's
garden
.
Mr.
Grubble
was
standing
in
his
shirt
sleeves
at
the
door
of
his
very
clean
little
tavern
,
waiting
for
me
.
He
lifted
off
his
hat
with
both
hands
when
he
saw
me
coming
,
and
carrying
it
so
,
as
if
it
were
an
iron
vessel
(
it
looked
as
heavy
)
,
preceded
me
along
the
sanded
passage
to
his
best
parlor
:
a
neat
carpeted
room
,
with
more
plants
in
it
than
were
quite
convenient
,
a
colored
print
of
Queen
Caroline
,
several
shells
,
a
good
many
tea-trays
,
two
stuffed
and
dried
fish
in
glass
cases
,
and
either
a
curious
egg
or
a
curious
pumpkin
(
but
I
do
n't
know
which
,
and
I
doubt
if
many
people
did
)
hanging
from
the
ceiling
.
I
knew
Mr.
Grubble
very
well
by
sight
,
from
his
often
standing
at
his
door
.
A
pleasant-looking
,
stoutish
,
middle-aged
man
,
who
never
seemed
to
consider
himself
cosily
dressed
for
his
own
fireside
without
his
hat
and
top-boots
,
but
who
never
wore
a
coat
except
at
church
.
He
snuffed
the
candle
,
and
backing
away
a
little
to
see
how
it
looked
,
backed
out
of
the
room
—
unexpectedly
to
me
,
for
I
was
going
to
ask
him
by
whom
he
had
been
sent
.
The
door
of
the
opposite
parlor
being
then
opened
,
I
heard
some
voices
,
familiar
in
my
ears
I
thought
,
which
stopped
.
A
quick
light
step
approached
the
room
in
which
I
was
,
and
who
should
stand
before
me
but
Richard
!
“
My
dear
Esther
!
”
he
said
,
“
my
best
friend
!
”
and
he
really
was
so
warm-hearted
and
earnest
,
that
in
the
first
surprise
and
pleasure
of
his
brotherly
greeting
,
I
could
scarcely
find
breath
to
tell
him
that
Ada
was
well
.
“
Answering
my
very
thoughts
—
always
the
same
dear
girl
!
”
said
Richard
,
leading
me
to
a
chair
,
and
seating
himself
beside
me
.
I
put
my
veil
up
,
but
not
quite
.
“
Always
the
same
dear
girl
!
”
said
Richard
,
just
as
heartily
as
before
.
I
put
my
veil
up
altogether
,
and
laying
my
hand
on
Richard
's
sleeve
,
and
looking
in
his
face
,
told
him
how
much
I
thanked
him
for
his
kind
welcome
,
and
how
greatly
I
rejoiced
to
see
him
;
the
more
so
,
because
of
the
determination
I
had
made
in
my
illness
,
which
I
now
conveyed
to
him
.
“
My
love
,
”
said
Richard
,
“
there
is
no
one
with
whom
I
have
a
greater
wish
to
talk
,
than
you
,
for
I
want
you
to
understand
me
.
”
“
And
I
want
you
,
Richard
,
”
said
I
,
shaking
my
head
,
“
to
understand
some
one
else
.
”
“
Since
you
refer
so
immediately
to
John
Jarndyce
,
”
said
Richard
—
“
I
suppose
you
mean
him
?
”
“
Of
course
I
do
.
”
“
Then
,
I
may
say
at
once
that
I
am
glad
of
it
,
because
it
is
on
that
subject
that
I
am
anxious
to
be
understood
.
By
you
,
mind
—
you
,
my
dear
!
I
am
not
accountable
to
Mr.
Jarndyce
,
or
Mr.
Anybody
.
”
I
was
pained
to
find
him
taking
this
tone
,
and
he
observed
it
.
“
Well
,
well
,
my
dear
,
”
said
Richard
,
“
we
wo
n't
go
into
that
,
now
.
I
want
to
appear
quietly
in
your
country
house
here
,
with
you
under
my
arm
,
and
give
my
charming
cousin
a
surprise
.
I
suppose
your
loyalty
to
John
Jarndyce
will
allow
that
?
”
“
My
dear
Richard
,
”
I
returned
,
“
you
know
you
would
be
heartily
welcome
at
his
house
—
your
home
,
if
you
will
but
consider
it
so
;
and
you
are
as
heartily
welcome
here
.
”
“
Spoken
like
the
best
of
little
women
!
”
cried
Richard
,
gaily
.
I
asked
him
how
he
liked
his
profession
?
“
Oh
,
I
like
it
well
enough
!
”
said
Richard
.
“
It
's
all
right
.
It
does
as
well
as
anything
else
,
for
a
time
.
I
do
n't
know
that
I
shall
care
about
it
when
I
come
to
be
settled
;
but
I
can
sell
out
then
,
and
—
however
,
never
mind
all
that
botheration
at
present
.
”
So
young
and
handsome
,
and
in
all
respects
so
perfectly
the
opposite
of
Miss
Flite
!
And
yet
,
in
the
clouded
,
eager
,
seeking
look
that
passed
over
him
,
so
dreadfully
like
her
!
“
I
am
in
town
on
leave
,
just
now
,
”
said
Richard
.
“
Indeed
?
”
“
Yes
.
I
have
run
over
to
look
after
my
—
my
Chancery
interests
,
before
the
long
vacation
,
”
said
Richard
,
forcing
a
careless
laugh
.
“
We
are
beginning
to
spin
along
with
that
old
suit
at
last
,
I
promise
you
.
”
No
wonder
that
I
shook
my
head
!
“
As
you
say
,
it
's
not
a
pleasant
subject
.
”
Richard
spoke
with
the
same
shade
crossing
his
face
as
before
.
“
Let
it
go
to
the
four
winds
for
to-night
.
—
Puff
!
Gone
!
—
Who
do
you
suppose
