,when
I
am
trying
to
act
honestly
and
nobly
,
to
be
impracticable
and
perverse
?
Grandon
could
not
know
the
extent
of
the
complication
in
which
I
am
involved
,
and
was
right
in
saying
what
he
did
;
yet
I
could
no
more
at
the
moment
help
resenting
it
as
I
did
,
than
a
man
in
a
passion
who
is
struck
can
help
returning
the
blow
.
Then
the
fertility
and
readiness
of
invention
which
the
demon
of
perverseness
that
haunts
me
invariably
displays
,
fairly
puzzles
me
.
And
you
too
,
I
thought
,
as
I
looked
up
and
saw
little
Scraper
whispering
eagerly
to
Dick
Helter
,
who
was
regarding
me
with
a
bewildered
look
,
quite
unconscious
that
the
Chancellor
of
the
Exchequer
had
become
poetical
in
regard
to
rags
,
and
was
announcing
that
we
were
about
"
To
serve
as
model
for
the
mighty
world
,
And
be
the
fair
beginning
of
a
time
,
"
—
"
ah
,
"
thought
I
,
as
I
gazed
on
that
brilliant
and
ingenious
orator
,
"
he
is
the
only
man
in
the
House
,
who
,
if
he
was
in
such
a
mess
as
I
am
,
would
find
a
way
out
of
it
.
"
My
first
impulse
on
the
following
morning
,
before
going
to
Grosvenor
Square
,
was
to
go
and
apologise
to
Grandon
;
and
I
had
an
additional
reason
for
doing
so
after
reading
the
following
paragraph
in
the
'
Morning
Post
'
:
—
"
The
Earl
and
Countess
of
Whitechapel
had
the
honour
of
entertaining
at
dinner
last
night
the
Marquess
and
Marchioness
of
Scilly
,
the
Countess
(
Dowager
)
of
Broadhem
,
the
Earl
of
Broadhem
and
Lady
Ursula
Newlyte
,
Mr
and
Lady
Jane
Helter
,
Lord
Grandon
,
the
Honourable
Spiffington
Goldtip
,
and
Mr
Scraper
.
"
To
have
made
it
thoroughly
unlucky
I
ought
to
have
been
there
as
a
thirteenth
.
As
it
is
,
I
wonder
what
conclusion
the
company
in
general
arrived
at
in
reference
to
the
affair
in
which
I
am
so
nearly
interested
,
and
I
told
them
off
in
the
order
in
which
they
must
have
gone
in
to
dinner
.
The
Scillys
and
Whitechapels
paired
off
;
Helter
took
down
old
Lady
Broadhem
;
Broadhem
took
Lady
Jane
;
Grandon
,
Lady
Ursula
;
and
Spiffy
and
Scraper
brought
up
the
rear
.
I
pictured
the
delight
with
which
Helter
would
mystify
Lady
Broadhem
,
by
allowing
her
to
extract
from
him
what
he
had
heard
first
from
me
and
then
from
Scraper
,
and
how
Spiffy
and
Scraper
would
each
pretend
to
have
the
right
version
of
the
story
,
and
be
best
informed
on
this
important
matter
.
All
this
was
easy
enough
,
but
my
imagination
failed
to
suggest
what
probably
passed
between
Grandon
and
Ursula
;
so
I
screwed
up
my
courage
and
determined
to
go
up
to
Grandon
's
room
and
find
out
We
often
used
to
breakfast
together
,
and
I
sent
up
my
servant
to
tell
him
to
expect
me
.
Under
the
circumstances
I
thought
it
right
to
give
him
the
opportunity
of
refusing
to
see
me
,
but
I
knew
him
too
well
to
think
that
he
would
take
advantage
of
it
.
He
was
sitting
at
his
writing-table
looking
pale
and
haggard
,
as
I
entered
,
and
turned
wearily
towards
me
with
an
air
of
reserve
very
foreign
to
his
nature
.
"
My
dear
Grandon
,
"
I
said
,
"
I
have
come
to
apologise
to
you
for
my
unjustifiable
conduct
yesterday
,
but
you
cannot
conceive
the
worry
and
annoyance
to
which
I
have
been
subject
by
the
impertinent
curiosity
and
unwarrantable
interference
of
the
world
in
my
private
affairs
.
When
you
told
me
I
was
acting
dishonourably
,
an
impulse
of
petulance
made
me
forget
what
was
due
to
Ursula
,
and
answer
my
inquisitive
friends
as
I
did
;
but
I
am
on
my
way
to
Grosvenor
Square
now
,
and
will
put
matters
straight
in
an
hour
.
"
"
The
mischief
is
done
,
"
said
Grandon
,
gloomily
,
"
and
it
is
not
in
your
power
to
undo
it
.
Whatever
may
have
been
the
motives
by
which
you
have
been
actuated
—
and
far
be
it
from
me
to
judge
them
—
you
have
caused
an
amount
of
misery
which
must
last
as
long
as
those
whom
you
have
chosen
as
your
victims
live
.
"
"
I
beseech
you
be
more
explicit
,
"
I
said
;
"
what
happened
last
night
?
—
I
insist
upon
knowing
.
"
"
You
know
perfectly
well
that
as
you
stand
in
no
nearer
relation
to
Lady
Ursula
than
I
do
,
"
and
Grandon
's
voice
trembled
,
while
his
eye
gleamed
for
a
second
with
a
flash
of
triumph
,
"
you
have
no
right
to
insist
upon
anything
;
but
I
have
no
objection
to
tell
you
that
as
Lady
Ursula
was
quite
in
ignorance
of
any
such
report
having
currency
as
that
which
has
now
received
a
certain
stamp
of
authority
,
by
virtue
of
the
conspiracy
into
which
you
seem
to
have
entered
with
her
mother
and
brother
,
she
was
overwhelmed
with
confusion
at
the
congratulations
which
it
seems
the
ladies
heaped
upon
her
after
dinner
last
night
,
and
finally
fainted
.
Of
course
all
London
will
be
talking
of
it
to-day
,
as
the
Helters
went
away
early
on
purpose
to
get
to
Lady
Mundane
's
before
Scraper
could
arrive
there
with
his
version
of
the
catastrophe
.
"
"
Did
she
tell
you
she
did
not
care
for
me
,
Grandon
?
"
said
I
,
very
humbly
.
"
She
told
me
to
forgive
you
,
and
love
you
as
I
used
to
,
God
help
me
!
"
burst
out
Grandon
,
and
he
covered
his
face
with
his
hands
.
"
Frank
,
"
he
said
,
"
she
is
an
angel
of
whom
neither
you
nor
I
is
worthy
;
but
oh
,
spare
her
!
Do
n't
,
for
God
's
sake
hold
her
up
to
the
pity
and
curiosity
of
London
.
I
would
do
anything
on
earth
she
told
me
;
but
what
spell
have
you
thrown
over
her
that
in
spite
of
your
heartless
conduct
she
should
still
implore
me
to
love
and
cherish
you
?
How
can
I
obey
her
in
this
when
your
acts
are
so
utterly
at
variance
with
all
that
is
noble
and
honourable
?
I
have
at
least
one
cause
for
gratitude
,
"
he
continued
,
in
a
calmer
tone
,
"
and
that
is
,
that
the
doubt
which
would
force
itself
upon
me
when
I
vainly
tried
to
account
for
her
conduct
in
accepting
you
so
suddenly
has
been
removed
.
"
I
had
discovered
what
I
wanted
,
for
in
spite
of
every
effort
to
conceal
it
,
I
detected
a
mixture
of
jealousy
and
of
triumph
in
Grandon
's
last
speech
.
Ursula
,
in
her
moment
of
agony
,
had
unconsciously
allowed
him
to
perceive
that
he
alone
was
loved
,
and
had
urged
him
still
to
love
and
cherish
me
,
because
as
an
irresponsible
being
she
had
thought
me
more
than
ever
in
need
of
sympathy
and
protection
For
a
moment
I
wavered
in
my
resolution
.
Should
I
open
my
heart
and
give
my
dearest
friend
a
confidence
which
should
justify
me
in
his
eyes
,
at
the
risk
of
destroying
the
project
I
had
formed
on
that
night
when
,
walking
home
from
my
interview
with
Lady
Broadhem
,
I
had
determined
to
devote
my
energies
to
the
happiness
of
others
and
not
of
myself
?
or
should
I
maintain
that
flippant
,
heartless
exterior
which
seemed
for
the
time
necessary
to
the
success
of
my
plans
?
As
usual
,
my
mind
made
itself
up
while
I
was
doubting
what
to
do
,
and
in
spite
of
myself
I
said
jauntily
,
"
Well
,
now
that
you
know
that
she
cares
about
you
and
not
about
me
,
I
suppose
you
have
nothing
to
do
but
to
return
her
affection
?
"
"
I
have
done
that
for
some
time
,
"
he
replied
,
"
but
you
know
how
perfectly
hopeless
our
love
is
;
and
yet
,
"
and
his
voice
deepened
and
his
face
flushed
with
enthusiasm
,
"
I
am
happier
loving
hopelessly
and
knowing
that
I
am
loved
,
than
I
have
ever
been
before
.
Forgive
me
,
Frank
,
but
I
do
not
feel
for
you
as
I
should
have
done
had
you
behaved
differently
.
You
had
no
right
to
let
me
suppose
that
she
had
accepted
you
when
the
subject
had
never
been
breathed
between
you
.
Your
conscience
must
tell
you
that
you
have
acted
in
an
unworthy
manner
towards
us
both
.
"
"
Grandon
,
"
I
said
,
sententiously
,
"
my
conscience
works
on
a
system
utterly
incomprehensible
to
an
ordinary
intelligence
,
and
I
am
quite
satisfied
with
it
.
I
will
have
a
metaphysical
discussion
with
you
on
the
matter
on
some
other
occasion
.
Meantime
you
think
Ursula
has
decided
on
preferring
the
ruin
and
disgrace
of
the
Broadhem
family
to
a
mariage
de
convenance
either
with
me
or
any
one
else
?
"
"
I
did
not
know
it
was
a
question
of
disgrace
,
"
said
Grandon
,
"
and
I
am
quite
sure
that
Lady
Ursula
will
do
the
right
thing
.
I
would
rather
not
discuss
the
subject
any
further
;
we
shall
certainly
not
agree
,
and
I
am
afraid
that
we
might
become
more
widely
estranged
than
I
should
wish
.
Here
is
breakfast
.
It
was
you
who
last
asked
me
to
bury
this
unhappy
subject
,
it
is
my
turn
now
to
make
the
same
request
.
I
wish
to
heaven
it
had
never
arisen
between
us
.
"
"
What
a
lucky
fellow
you
are
!
"
said
I
,
looking
at
him
with
the
eye
of
a
philosopher
;
"
now
you
would
never
imagine
yourself
to
be
one
of
the
most
enviable
men
in
London
,
with
the
most
charming
of
women
and
the
most
devoted
of
friends
ready
to
sacrifice
themselves
at
your
feet
—
she
incomprise
,
I
incompris
.
"
"
Do
n't
trifle
,
"
said
Grandon
,
sternly
,
interrupting
me
;
"
my
patience
is
not
inexhaustible
.
"
"
Luckily
mine
is
,
"
said
I
,
with
my
mouth
full
of
grilled
salmon
,
"
otherwise
I
should
not
be
the
right
stuff
for
a
social
missionary
.
Apropos
,
you
have
never
asked
me
what
I
have
been
doing
in
that
line
;
nor
told
me
what
you
thought
of
the
long
letter
I
wrote
you
from
Flityville
.
Did
you
get
me
the
answers
to
those
questions
?
"
"
No
,
"
he
replied
,
"
I
must
honestly
tell
you
,
Frank
,
that
it
pains
me
to
discuss
so
serious
a
subject
with
one
who
makes
so
fair
and
earnest
a
pretence
of
having
deep
convictions
as
you
do
,
and
whose
acts
are
so
diametrically
opposed
to
them
;
and
now
I
must
be
off
,
for
I
have
a
committee
of
the
House
to
attend
.
"
"
And
I
a
rendezvous
of
a
still
more
interesting
character
to
keep
;
"
and
as
I
left
Grandon
I
observed
a
shade
of
disgust
and
disappointment
cross
his
face
at
my
last
speech
.
I
always
overdo
it
,
I
thought
,
as
I
walked
towards
Grosvenor
Square
,
but
Grandon
ought
to
make
allowances
for
me
.
He
has
known
me
all
my
life
,
but
it
was
reserved
for
us
both
to
be
in
love
with
the
same
woman
to
bring
out
the
strong
points
in
each
of
us
.
Lavater
says
you
never
know
whether
a
man
is
your
friend
until
you
have
divided
an
inheritance
with
him
;
but
it
is
a
much
more
ticklish
thing
to
go
halves
in
a
woman
's
love
.
Never
mind
,
I
will
astonish
them
both
yet
.
Now
then
,
to
begin
with
her
;
and
I
boldly
knocked
at
the
door
.
I
found
Broadhem
in
his
own
little
den
.
"
It
is
all
right
,
"
he
said
,
as
I
entered
;
"
I
have
told
Ursula
you
are
coming
,
and
she
will
see
you
in
the
drawing-room
.
"
I
had
not
been
for
two
minutes
alone
with
Lady
Ursula
since
we
parted
at
Dickiefield
;
indeed
,
when
it
is
remembered
that
my
whole
intercourse
with
her
upon
that
occasion
extended
over
little
more
than
twenty-four
hours
,
and
that
we
had
never
been
on
any
other
terms
since
than
those
of
the
most
casual
acquaintances
,
the
embarrassing
nature
of
the
impending
interview
presented
itself
to
me
in
a
somewhat
unpleasant
aspect
.
Now
that
it
had
come
to
the
point
,
I
could
not
make
up
my
mind
exactly
what
to
say
.
I
tried
to
collect
my
ideas
and
go
over
the
history
of
the
events
which
had
resulted
in
the
present
predicament
.
Why
was
I
in
the
singular
position
of
having
to
make
a
special
appointment
with
a
young
lady
with
whom
I
was
desperately
in
love
,
whom
I
knew
but
slightly
,
but
who
supposed
me
to
be
mad
,
for
the
purpose
of
asking
her
,
first
,
whether
she
considered
herself
engaged
to
be
married
to
me
or
not
;
and
secondly
,
if
not
,
whether
she
would
have
any
objection
to
the
world
supposing
that
such
was
the
case
?
Now
my
readers
will
remember
that
the
sudden
impulse
which
induced
me
in
the
first
instance
to
delude
Lady
Broadhem
into
believing
that
Lady
Ursula
had
accepted
me
,
arose
from
the
desire
to
save
her
from
the
tender
mercies
of
Chundango
.
Lady
Ursula
had
in
fact
owed
the
repose
she
had
enjoyed
for
the
last
two
months
entirely
to
her
supposed
engagement
to
me
.
The
moment
that
is
at
an
end
,
her
fate
becomes
miserable
.
If
she
will
but
consider
herself
drowning
,
and
me
the
straw
,
I
shall
only
be
too
happy
to
be
clutched
.
If
I
cannot
propose
myself
as
a
husband
,
I
will
at
least
suggest
that
she
should
regard
me
in
the
light
of
a
straw
.
I
had
got
thus
far
when
I
found
myself
in
her
presence
.
She
looked
very
pale
,
and
there
was
an
expression
of
decision
about
the
corners
of
her
mouth
which
I
had
not
before
remarked
.
It
did
not
detract
from
its
sweetness
,
nor
did
the
slight
tremor
of
the
upper
lip
as
she
greeted
me
detract
from
its
force
.
It
is
a
great
mistake
to
suppose
that
a
tremor
of
the
lip
denotes
weakness
;
on
the
contrary
,
it
often
arises
from
a
concentration
of
nervous
energy
.
I
am
not
quite
so
sure
about
a
tremor
of
the
knees
.
That
was
what
I
suffered
from
at
the
moment
,
together
with
a
very
considerable
palpitation
of
the
heart
.
Now
the
difficulty
at
such
a
moment
is
to
know
how
to
begin
.
I
have
often
heard
men
say
that
when
they
have
obtained
an
interview
with
a
great
statesman
for
the
purpose
of
asking
a
favour
,
and
he
waits
for
them
to
begin
without
helping
them
out
with
a
word
,
they
have
experienced
this
difficulty
.
That
arises
from
the
consciousness
that
they
are
sacrificing
their
self-respect
to
their
"
career
.
"
If
they
would
never
go
near
a
statesman
except
when
they
wanted
to
confer
a
favour
upon
him
,
they
would
have
no
difficulty
in
finding
words
.
Fortunately
the
great
majority
of
our
public
employés
are
not
yet
hardened
beggars
like
the
Neapolitans
,
and
are
not
,
like
them
,
dead
to
any
sentiment
of
shame
upon
these
occasions
,
though
it
is
to
be
feared
that
they
will
soon
become
so
.
The
responsibility
of
demoralising
the
servants
of
the
public
lies
entirely
with
the
heads
of
the
departments
.
In
proportion
as
these
gentlemen
are
not
ashamed
of
sacrificing
their
subordinates
in
order
to
keep
themselves
in
office
,
will
those
subordinates
become
as
unblushing
place-hunters
as
their
masters
are
place-keepers
.
Once
accustom
a
man
to
being
a
scapegoat
,
and
you
destroy
at
a
blow
his
respect
for
himself
and
for
the
man
who
offers
him
up
.
I
could
become
very
eloquent
upon
this
subject
,
if
I
was
not
afraid
of
keeping
Ursula
waiting
.
There
are
few
men
who
need
having
their
duties
pointed
out
to
them
more
constantly
than
Cabinet
Ministers
.
Attacks
in
the
House
of
Commons
do
them
no
good
,
as
they
are
generally
the
result
of
party
tactics
,
and
spring
from
as
unworthy
a
motive
as
does
the
defence
.
Men
who
have
got
place
do
not
pay
much
attention
to
attacks
from
men
who
want
it
.
Then
,
as
I
said
before
,
the
Church
utterly
ignores
its
duties
in
this
respect
.
Who
ever
heard
of
a
bishop
getting
up
and
pointing
out
to
her
Majesty
's
Ministers
the
necessity
of
considering
the
interests
of
the
country
before
their
own
?
It
would
be
immediately
supposed
that
he
was
bullying
them
,
because
he
wanted
to
be
"
translated
;
"
and
this
would
be
considered
the
only
excuse
for
the
same
want
of
"
good
taste
"
which
I
,
who
am
only
desirous
for
their
good
,
am
now
displaying
.
I
put
it
to
you
,
my
lords
,
in
all
humility
,
do
you
ever
get
up
in
your
places
,
not
in
the
House
of
Peers
,
but
in
another
House
,
and
point
out
to
the
rulers
of
the
country
that
no
personal
consideration
should
ever
interfere
with
their
doing
the
right
thing
at
the
right
moment
?
Do
you
ever
explain
to
the
noble
lords
among
whom
you
sit
,
that
when
a
committee
is
chosen
from
both
sides
of
the
House
to
inquire
into
a
simple
question
of
right
or
wrong
,
the
members
of
it
are
bound
to
vote
upon
its
merits
and
according
to
their
consciences
,
rather
than
according
to
the
political
parties
to
which
they
belong
?
and
do
you
ever
ask
yourselves
what
you
would
do
in
the
same
circumstances
?
Do
you
ever
tell
the
heads
of
departments
that
they
are
responsible
for
the
morale
which
pervades
the
special
services
over
which
they
preside
?
that
the
tone
of
honour
,
the
amount
of
zeal
and
of
disinterestedness
which
subordinates
display
must
depend
in
a
great
measure
upon
the
example
set
them
by
their
chief
?
that
you
can
no
more
expect
an
orchestra
to
play
in
tune
with
a
leader
devoid
of
a
soul
for
music
,
than
a
department
to
work
well
without
the
soul
of
honour
at
its
head
?
Do
you
ever
tell
the
leaders
of
the
party
with
which
you
"
act
"
that
it
is
wicked
openly
to
collect
funds
to
give
candidates
to
bribe
with
at
general
elections
?
Do
you
ever
faithfully
tell
these
great
men
,
that
just
in
proportion
as
their
position
is
elevated
,
so
is
their
power
for
good
or
for
evil
?
and
when
you
see
their
responsibilities
sit
lightly
upon
them
,
do
you
ever
take
them
to
task
for
trifling
with
the
highest
interests
of
the
country
,
and
stifling
the
consciences
of
its
servants
?
If
the
fact
that
in
your
ecclesiastical
capacity
you
are
beholden
to
one
or
other
of
the
political
parties
makes
it
delicate
for
you
to
attack
your
opponents
,
then
let
the
Liberal
Episcopacy
jealously
guard
the
honour
of
the
Liberal
Cabinets
,
and
the
Tory
bishops
watch
over
the
public
morality
of
their
own
side
so
soon
as
it
shall
come
into
office
.
Of
course
I
was
not
thinking
of
all
this
as
I
entered
the
drawing-room
,
but
I
had
thought
it
often
before
,
and
feel
impelled
to
mention
it
now
.
What
I
actually
did
was
to
blush
a
good
deal
,
stammer
a
good
deal
,
and
finally
make
the
unpleasant
discovery
that
that
presence
of
mind
which
my
readers
will
ere
this
have
perceived
I
possess
to
an
eminent
degree
,
had
entirely
deserted
me
.
I
think
this
arose
from
the
extreme
desire
I
felt
that
Lady
Ursula
should
not
at
that
moment
imagine
that
I
was
mad
.
Perhaps
,
my
reader
,
it
may
have
happened
to
you
to
have
to
broach
the
most
delicate
of
all
topics
to
a
young
lady
who
regarded
you
in
the
light
of
a
rather
dangerous
lunatic
,
and
you
can
therefore
enter
into
my
feelings
.
I
was
not
sorry
to
find
myself
blushing
and
stammering
,
as
it
might
have
the
effect
of
reassuring
her
,
and
making
her
feel
that
for
the
moment
at
least
I
was
quite
harmless
.
"
I
am
glad
,
Lord
Frank
,
"
she
said
,
observing
my
confusion
,
"
that
you
have
given
me
this
opportunity
of
seeing
you
,
as
I
am
sure
you
would
not
willingly
inflict
pain
,
and
should
you
find
that
you
have
unintentionally
done
so
,
will
make
all
the
reparation
in
your
power
.
"
At
this
moment
I
glanced
significantly
at
Broadhem
,
who
left
the
room
.
"
Unfortunately
it
too
often
happens
,
Lady
Ursula
,
"
I
said
,
"
that
it
is
necessary
to
inflict
a
temporary
pain
to
avert
what
might
become
a
permanent
misery
.
"
"
I
cannot
conceive
,
"
replied
she
,
"
to
what
permanent
misery
,
as
affecting
myself
,
you
can
allude
,
in
which
your
intervention
should
be
necessary
,
more
especially
when
exhibited
in
a
form
which
places
me
in
such
a
false
position
.
I
need
not
say
that
the
announcement
which
I
saw
for
the
first
time
in
a
newspaper
caused
me
the
greatest
annoyance
;
but
when
I
found
afterwards
that
my
mother
,
my
brother
,
and
even
Lord
Grandon
,
had
heard
it
from
your
own
lips
many
weeks
before
,
and
that
in
fact
you
had
given
my
mother
,
under
a
promise
that
she
would
not
allude
to
the
subject
to
me
,
such
a
totally
erroneous
idea
of
what
passed
at
our
interview
at
Dickiefield
,
—
when
I
thought
of
all
this
,
I
could
only
account
for
it
by
the
last
revelation
you
made
to
me
there
.
"
She
maintained
her
self-possession
perfectly
until
she
was
obliged
to
allude
to
my
insanity
,
then
she
dropped
her
eyelids
,
and
the
colour
for
the
first
time
rushed
into
her
cheeks
as
she
shrank
from
touching
on
this
delicate
subject
.
At
the
moment
I
almost
felt
inclined
to
tell
her
that
I
was
as
sane
as
she
was
,
but
refrained
,
partly
because
I
was
not
sure
of
it
myself
,
partly
because
I
did
not
think
she
would
believe
me
,
partly
because
,
after
all
,
it
might
be
the
best
justification
I
could
offer
for
my
conduct
,
and
partly
because
I
was
not
quite
ready
to
enter
upon
an
explanation
of
the
ruse
by
which
I
had
hoped
to
save
her
from
the
persecution
of
her
mother
to
marry
Chundango
.
This
suddenly
reminded
me
of
my
idea
that
she
was
in
the
position
of
one
drowning
.
I
therefore
said
,
in
a
careless
way
,
for
the
purpose
of
showing
her
that
her
allusion
to
my
insanity
had
produced
no
unfavourable
impression
upon
me
,
—
—
"
Lady
Ursula
,
would
you
have
any
objection
to
regarding
me
in
the
light
of
a
straw
?
"
"
A
what
!
"
said
Lady
Ursula
,
in
a
tone
in
which
amazement
seemed
blended
with
alarm
.
"
A
straw
,
"
I
repeated
;
"
I
assure
you
you
are
drowning
,
and
even
an
unworthy
being
like
myself
may
be
of
use
to
you
,
if
you
would
but
believe
it
.
Remember
Chundango
's
conduct
at
Dickiefield
—
remember
the
view
Lady
Broadhem
took
of
it
,
until
I
interposed
,
or
as
I
should
more
accurately
say
,
until
the
current
swept
me
past
her
—
remember
that
up
to
this
moment
she
has
never
recurred
to
the
subject
of
Mr
Chundango
,
who
,
although
he
comes
to
the
house
constantly
,
now
devotes
himself
entirely
to
Lady
Broadhem
herself
;
and
,
allow
me
to
say
it
,
you
owe
it
all
to
a
timely
straw
.
"
Lady
Ursula
seemed
struck
by
the
graphic
way
in
which
I
put
her
position
before
her
,
and
remained
silent
for
a
few
moments
.
It
had
evidently
never
occurred
to
her
,
that
I
had
indirectly
been
the
means
of
securing
her
tranquillity
.
She
little
thought
it
possible
that
her
mother
could
have
talked
her
matrimonial
prospects
over
with
a
comparative
stranger
in
the
mercantile
terms
which
Lady
Broadhem
had
used
in
our
interview
at
Dickiefield
.
And
I
am
well
aware
that
society
generally
would
consider
such
conduct
on
the
part
of
her
ladyship
coarse
and
unladylike
.
It
showed
a
disregard
of
les
convenances
which
good
society
is
the
first
to
resent
.
Those
who
have
never
secretly
harboured
the
designs
which
Lady
Broadhem
in
the
agony
of
a
financial
crisis
avowed
,
might
justly
repudiate
her
conduct
;
but
"
conscience
does
make
cowards
of
us
all
,
"
and
fashionable
mothers
will
naturally
be
the
first
to
censure
in
Lady
Broadhem
a
practice
to
which
,
in
a
less
glaring
and
obnoxious
form
,
they
are
so
strongly
addicted
.
If
in
silvery
accents
she
had
confided
her
projects
to
Lady
Mundane
,
the
world
would
have
considered
it
natural
and
ladylike
enough
;
the
coarseness
consisted
in
her
telling
them
to
me
.
O
generation
of
slave-owners
!
why
persist
in
deluding
yourselves
into
the
belief
,
that
so
long
as
you
buy
and
sell
your
own
flesh
and
blood
in
a
whisper
there
is
no
harm
in
it
?
My
gentle
critics
,
I
would
strongly
advise
you
not
to
place
me
on
my
defence
in
these
matters
;
I
have
every
disposition
to
let
you
down
as
gently
as
possible
,
but
if
you
play
tricks
with
the
rope
,
I
shall
have
to
let
you
down
by
the
run
.
Why
,
it
was
only
last
year
that
all
the
world
went
to
Mrs
Gorgon
Tompkins
's
second
ball
.
They
no
more
cared
than
she
did
,
that
she
had
lost
one
of
her
daughters
early
in
the
season
,
just
after
she
had
given
the
first
.
I
remember
Spiffy
Goldtip
taking
public
opinion
in
the
club
about
it
,
and
asking
whether
an
interval
of
four
months
was
not
enough
to
satisfy
the
requirements
of
society
in
the
matter
,
as
it
would
be
so
sad
if
,
after
having
made
such
good
social
running
before
Easter
,
Mrs
Gorgon
Tompkins
were
to
lose
it
all
afterwards
through
an
unfortunate
domestic
contretemps
of
this
kind
.
Now
I
doubt
whether
Lady
Broadhem
could
surpass
that
.
However
,
she
is
capable
of
great
feats
,
and
I
fully
expect
she
will
strike
out
a
new
line
soon
;
there
has
been
a
lurking
demon
in
her
eye
of
late
which
alarms
me
.
Fortunately
I
am
not
yet
finally
committed
,
financially
.
It
is
true
it
has
cost
me
a
few
thousands
,
which
I
shall
never
see
again
,
to
tide
the
family
over
its
difficulties
thus
far
,
but
I
can
still
let
it
down
with
a
crash
if
it
suits
me
.
"
Lord
Frank
,
"
said
Lady
Ursula
,
after
a
pause
,
"
I
have
already
alluded
to
the
circumstance
which
has
induced
me
to
treat
you
with
a
forbearance
which
I
could
not
have
extended
to
one
whom
I
regarded
as
responsible
for
conduct
unwarrantable
towards
myself
,
and
certainly
not
to
be
justified
by
any
possible
advantage
which
I
might
be
supposed
to
derive
from
it
.
I
consented
to
see
you
now
,
because
I
feel
sure
that
when
you
know
from
my
own
lips
that
I
wish
you
at
once
to
deny
the
rumour
you
have
been
the
means
of
originating
,
I
may
depend
upon
your
doing
so
.
"
"
May
I
ask
,
"
I
said
,
with
much
contrition
in
my
tone
,
"
what
explanation
you
gave
Lady
Broadhem
on
the
subject
?
"
"
If
you
mean
,
"
said
Lady
Ursula
,
"
whether
I
accounted
to
mamma
for
your
conduct
as
I
do
to
myself
—
in
other
words
,
whether
I
betrayed
your
secret
—
I
have
carefully
refrained
from
discussing
the
subject
with
her
.
Fortunately
,
after
dinner
at
the
Whitechapels
'
last
night
,
Broadhem
told
me
that
he
had
seen
you
,
and
that
you
were
coming
here
to-day
,
so
I
assured
mamma
that
she
would
hear
from
you
the
true
state
of
the
case
;
though
,
of
course
,
I
felt
myself
bound
to
let
her
understand
that
,
owing
to
a
fact
which
I
was
unable
to
explain
,
she
had
been
completely
misled
by
you
.
"
"
And
what
did
Lady
Broadhem
say
?
"
I
asked
.
"
She
said
that
had
it
not
been
for
a
meeting
she
was
obliged
to
attend
this
morning
,
she
would
have
waited
to
see
you
to-day
;
but
that
she
was
sure
I
laboured
under
some
strange
delusion
,
and
that
a
few
words
of
explanation
from
you
would
smooth
everything
.
"
"
Will
you
allow
me
to
tell
you
what
those
few
words
are
?
"
said
I
.
"
Lady
Broadhem
little
imagines
the
real
state
of
the
case
,
because
she
knows
what
you
do
not
know
,
that
I
am
engaged
in
clearing
off
her
own
pecuniary
liabilities
,
and
making
arrangements
by
which
the
old-standing
claims
on
the
Broadhem
estates
may
be
met
.
You
may
never
have
heard
how
seriously
the
family
is
embarrassed
,
and
how
unlucky
all
Lady
Broadhem
's
attempts
to
retrieve
its
fortunes
by
speculation
have
been
.
I
could
only
account
to
her
for
the
pecuniary
sacrifices
she
knows
I
am
making
by
allowing
her
to
suppose
that
I
was
incurring
them
for
your
sake
.
"
I
could
not
resist
letting
a
certain
tone
of
pique
penetrate
this
speech
,
and
the
puzzled
and
pained
expression
of
Lady
Ursula
's
face
afforded
me
a
sense
of
momentary
gratification
,
of
which
I
speedily
repented
.
As
she
looked
at
me
earnestly
,
her
large
blue
eyes
filled
slowly
with
tears
.
"
Is
she
crying
because
this
last
speech
of
mine
proves
me
hopelessly
mad
?
"
thought
I
;
"
or
does
she
feel
herself
in
a
pecuniary
trap
,
and
is
she
crying
because
she
does
not
see
her
way
out
of
it
?
"
and
I
felt
the
old
sensation
coming
over
me
,
and
my
head
beginning
to
swim
.
Why
,
oh
why
,
am
I
denied
that
method
in
my
madness
which
it
must
be
such
a
comfort
to
possess
?
It
is
just
at
the
critical
moment
that
my
osseous
matter
invariably
plays
me
a
trick
.
I
seemed
groping
for
light
and
strength
,
and
mechanically
put
out
my
hand
;
the
soft
touch
of
one
placed
gently
in
it
thrilled
through
my
nerves
with
an
indescribable
current
,
and
instantaneously
the
horrid
feeling
left
me
,
and
I
emerged
from
the
momentary
torpor
into
which
I
had
fallen
.
I
do
n't
think
Ursula
remarked
it
,
for
she
said
,
and
her
eyes
were
now
overflowing
,
in
a
voice
of
surpassing
sweetness
,
"
Lord
Frank
,
I
have
discovered
your
real
secret
;
it
is
no
longer
possible
for
you
to
conceal
the
noble
motives
which
have
actuated
you
under
your
pretended
—
—
"
"
Hush
!
"
I
said
,
interrupting
her
;
"
what
I
did
,
whether
rightly
or
wrongly
,
I
did
for
the
best
.
Now
I
will
be
guided
by
your
wishes
.
What
am
I
to
do
?
"
"
Allow
no
worldly
consideration
,
however
unselfish
,
either
for
myself
or
those
dearest
to
me
,
to
induce
you
to
swerve
from
the
course
which
truth
and
honour
distinctly
point
out
.
Whatever
may
seem
to
be
the
consequences
,
we
are
both
bound
to
follow
this
,
and
we
have
but
to
feel
that
,
if
need
be
,
we
are
ready
to
make
great
sacrifices
to
receive
the
requisite
faith
and
strength
.
Believe
me
,
"
she
concluded
,
and
her
voice
trembled
slightly
,
"
whatever
happens
,
I
shall
feel
that
you
have
given
me
proofs
of
a
friendship
upon
which
I
may
depend
.
"
I
pressed
the
hand
I
still
held
,
and
I
felt
the
touch
was
sacred
.
"
Ah
,
"
thought
I
,
as
I
left
the
room
,
and
was
conscious
that
the
gentle
influence
of
her
I
had
parted
from
was
still
resting
upon
me
,
"
that
is
the
right
kind
of
spirit-medium
.
There
is
a
magnetism
in
that
slender
finger
which
supports
and
purifies
.
"
O
my
hardened
and
material
readers
!
do
n't
suppose
that
because
I
know
you
will
laugh
at
the
idea
of
a
purifying
or
invigorating
magnetism
I
shall
hesitate
to
write
exactly
what
I
feel
on
such
matters
.
If
I
refrain
from
saying
a
great
deal
more
,
it
is
not
because
I
shrink
from
your
ridicule
but
from
your
ignorance
.
You
may
not
believe
that
the
pearls
exist
;
I
honestly
admit
that
they
are
not
yet
in
my
possession
,
but
I
have
seen
those
who
own
them
,
and
,
unfortunately
,
also
I
have
seen
the
animals
before
whom
they
have
been
cast
.
And
you
,
my
dear
young
ladies
,
do
not
ignore
the
responsibility
which
the
influence
you
are
able
to
exercise
over
young
men
imposes
upon
you
.
You
need
not
call
it
magnetism
unless
you
like
,
but
be
sure
that
there
is
that
conveyed
in
a
touch
or
a
glance
which
elevates
or
degrades
him
upon
whom
it
is
bestowed
,
according
as
you
preserve
the
purity
and
simplicity
of
your
inmost
natures
.
If
you
would
only
regard
yourselves
in
the
light
of
female
missionaries
to
that
benighted
tribe
of
lavender-gloved
young
gentlemen
who
flutter
about
you
like
moths
round
a
candle
,
you
would
send
them
away
glowing
and
happy
,
instead
of
singeing
their
wings
.
If
,
when
these
butterflies
come
to
sip
,
you
would
give
them
honey
instead
of
poison
,
they
would
not
forsake
you
as
they
do
now
for
the
gaudy
flowers
which
are
too
near
you
.
I
know
what
you
have
to
contend
against
—
the
scheming
mothers
who
bring
you
up
to
the
"
Daughticultural
Show
,
"
labelled
and
decorated
,
and
put
up
to
competition
as
likely
prize-winners
—
who
deliberately
expose
you
to
the
first
rush
of
your
first
seasons
,
and
mercilessly
watch
you
as
you
are
swept
along
by
the
tearing
stream
—
who
see
you
without
compunction
cast
away
on
sandbanks
of
worldliness
,
where
you
remain
till
you
become
as
"
hard
"
and
as
"
fast
"
as
those
you
find
stranded
there
before
you
.
Here
your
minds
become
properly
,
or
rather
improperly
,
opened
.
You
hear
,
for
the
first
time
,
to
your
astonishment
,
young
men
talked
of
by
their
Christian
or
nick
names
—
their
domestic
life
canvassed
,
their
eligibility
discussed
,
and
the
varied
personal
experiences
through
which
your
"
hard
and
fast
"
friends
have
passed
,
related
.
Then
,
better
prepared
for
the
rest
of
the
voyage
,
you
start
again
,
and
venture
a
little
on
your
own
account
.
What
bold
swimmers
you
are
becoming
now
!
How
you
laugh
and
defy
the
rocks
and
reefs
upon
which
you
are
ultimately
destined
to
split
!
Already
you
look
back
with
surprise
to
the
time
when
almost
everything
you
heard
shocked
you
.
What
an
immense
amount
of
unnecessary
knowledge
you
have
acquired
since
then
,
and
how
recklessly
you
display
it
!
Do
you
think
it
has
softened
and
elevated
you
?
Do
you
think
the
moral
contact
which
should
be
life-giving
to
those
who
know
you
,
benefits
them
?
It
is
not
true
,
because
young
men
behave
heartlessly
,
that
you
must
flirt
"
in
self-defence
,
"
as
you
call
it
.
When
a
warfare
of
this
kind
once
begins
,
it
is
difficult
to
fix
the
responsibility
;
but
if
one
side
left
off
,
the
occupation
of
the
other
would
be
gone
.
If
you
want
to
revenge
yourselves
on
these
fickle
youths
—
strike
!
as
they
do
in
the
manufacturing
districts
.
Conceive
the
wholesome
panic
you
would
cause
,
if
you
combined
into
"
unions
"
like
the
working-classes
,
and
every
girl
in
London
bound
herself
not
to
flirt
for
the
entire
season
!
Unless
you
do
something
of
this
kind
soon
,
you
will
reverse
the
whole
system
of
nature
.
The
men
will
be
the
candles
and
you
the
moths
;
they
will
be
the
flowers
,
and
you
the
butterflies
.
If
all
the
brothers
in
London
persist
in
trying
to
imitate
their
sisters
,
and
all
the
sisters
ape
their
brothers
,
what
a
nice
confusion
we
shall
arrive
at
!
The
reason
I
preach
to
you
and
not
to
them
now
,
is
,
because
I
think
I
have
a
better
chance
with
the
mind
of
a
masculine
young
woman
than
with
that
of
a
feminine
young
man
.
If
you
only
knew
what
a
comfort
it
would
be
to
talk
sense
instead
of
that
incessant
chaff
,
you
would
read
a
little
more
.
I
do
n't
object
to
your
riding
in
the
Park
—
the
abominable
constitution
of
society
makes
it
almost
the
only
opportunity
of
seeing
and
talking
to
those
you
like
without
being
talked
about
;
but
you
need
not
rush
off
for
a
drive
in
the
carriage
immediately
after
lunch
,
just
because
you
are
too
restless
to
stay
at
home
.
First
,
the
Park
and
young
men
,
then
lunch
,
then
Marshall
and
Snelgrove
,
then
tea
and
young
men
again
,
then
dinner
,
drums
,
and
balls
,
and
young
men
till
three
A.M.
That
is
the
tread-wheel
you
have
chosen
to
turn
without
the
smallest
profit
to
yourself
or
any
one
else
.
If
I
seem
to
speak
strongly
,
it
is
because
my
heart
yearns
over
you
.
I
belonged
once
to
the
lavender-gloved
tribe
myself
,
and
though
I
have
long
since
abandoned
the
hunting-grounds
of
my
youth
,
I
would
give
the
world
to
see
them
happy
and
innocent
.
Moreover
,
I
know
you
too
well
to
imagine
that
I
have
written
a
word
which
will
offend
you
.
Far
from
it
.
We
shall
be
warmer
and
closer
friends
ever
after
;
but
I
am
strongly
afraid
mamma
will
disapprove
.
She
will
call
'
Piccadilly
'
"
highly
improper
,
"
and
say
that
it
is
a
book
she
has
not
allowed
any
of
"
her
girls
"
to
read
.
I
do
n't
want
to
preach
disobedience
;
but
there
are
modes
well
known
to
my
fair
young
friends
of
reading
books
which
mamma
forbids
,
and
I
trust
that
they
will
never
read
one
against
her
wish
which
may
leave
a
more
injurious
impression
upon
their
minds
than
'
Piccadilly
.
'
PART
V.
THE
FLESH
.
Piccadilly
,
June
.
Somebody
ought
to
compile
a
handbook
for
débutants
and
débutantes
,
setting
forth
the
most
approved
modes
of
procuring
invitations
to
balls
and
parties
during
the
London
season
.
Not
only
would
it
be
a
very
invaluable
guide
now
,
but
it
would
be
interesting
for
posterity
to
refer
to
as
illustrating
the
manners
and
customs
of
their
ancestors
,
and
accounting
for
the
hereditary
taint
of
snobbism
which
is
probably
destined
to
characterise
in
an
eminent
degree
the
population
of
the
British
Isles
.
"
En
Angleterre
,
"
said
a
cynical
Dutch
diplomatist
,
"
numéro
deux
va
chez
numéro
un
,
pour
s'en
glorifier
auprès
de
numéro
trois
.
"
Had
he
gone
to
the
Bodwinkle
ball
,
he
would
have
remarked
a
curious
inversion
of
his
aphorism
,
for
there
it
was
numéro
un
who
went
down
to
numéro
deux
.
But
I
must
leave
it
to
Van
den
Bosch
(
that
,
I
think
,
was
his
name
)
to
discover
what
there
was
to
boast
about
to
number
three
.
He
was
evidently
a
profound
philosopher
,
but
I
doubt
his
getting
to
the
bottom
of
this
great
social
problem
.
To
do
so
he
would
have
to
look
at
it
free
from
all
petty
prejudice
,
recognising
its
sublime
as
well
as
its
ridiculous
features
.
Why
did
Duchesses
struggle
to
be
asked
to
Bodwinkle
's
?
I
almost
think
a
new
phase
of
snobbism
is
cropping
out
,
and
the
rivalry
will
be
to
try
,
not
who
can
rise
highest
,
but
who
can
sink
lowest
,
in
the
social
scale
.
The
fashionable
world
is
so
blasé
of
itself
that
it
has
positively
become
tired
of
worshipping
wealth
,
unless
its
owners
possess
the
charm
of
extreme
vulgarity
.
Its
taste
has
become
so
vitiated
by
being
unnaturally
excited
and
pandered
to
,
that
we
shall
have
to
invent
some
new
object
of
ambition
.
Why
,
for
instance
,
should
not
a
select
clique
of
Oxford
Street
shopkeepers
give
a
series
of
parties
which
might
become
the
rage
for
one
season
?
They
have
only
to
get
two
or
three
leaders
of
ton
to
patronise
them
at
first
,
and
be
very
exclusive
and
select
in
their
invitations
afterwards
,
to
insure
success
.
A
year
or
two
ago
the
thing
to
do
was
Cremorne
;
why
not
have
an
Oxford
Street
year
?
The
Bodwinkle
tendency
will
result
at
last
in
its
being
the
great
ambition
of
a
man
's
life
to
get
his
daughters
asked
to
"
a
little
music
and
a
few
friends
"
at
his
bootmaker
's
.
In
Paris
,
which
is
becoming
rapidly
impregnated
with
this
spirit
,
that
city
being
in
a
very
receptive
condition
for
everything
bad
from
all
parts
of
the
world
—
in
Paris
,
I
say
,
they
have
made
a
very
good
start
,
as
any
of
my
fair
friends
who
have
patronised
Mr
Worth
's
afternoon
tea-parties
in
the
Rue
de
la
Paix
will
readily
acknowledge
.
They
will
bear
testimony
to
the
good
taste
of
the
milliner
,
and
I
to
the
bad
taste
of
his
customers
.
That
vain
women
in
the
highest
circles
of
Parisian
fashion
can
,
in
an
eager
rivalry
to
display
as
much
of
their
backs
as
possible
,
endeavour
to
obtain
the
especial
patronage
of
a
man-dressmaker
,
by
accepting
his
invitations
to
tea
,
should
be
a
warning
to
you
,
O
gentle
English
dames
!
of
what
you
may
come
to
.
Why
sacrifice
self-respect
and
propriety
to
shoulder-straps
?
Why
insist
upon
it
that
there
is
only
one
man
in
the
world
who
knows
how
to
cut
out
a
dress
behind
?
Supposing
he
can
bring
it
an
inch
lower
down
than
anybody
else
—
if
you
give
that
inch
,
beware
of
the
ell
.
Why
,
oh
why
,
advertise
your
clothes
in
the
newspapers
?
Is
it
not
enough
to
puff
your
dinner-parties
in
the
public
journals
at
so
much
a
"
notice
,
"
without
paying
15s
.
apiece
to
your
dressmaker
to
put
your
names
into
the
'
Morning
Post
,
'
coupled
with
your
wearing
apparel
,
every
time
you
go
to
Court
?
If
you
persist
in
the
practice
,
let
me
recommend
you
,
as
a
measure
of
economy
,
to
put
in
your
own
advertisements
.
The
press
charge
is
10s
.
6d
.
;
the
dressmaker
pockets
the
other
4s
.
6d
.
Or
else
be
generous
:
why
keep
the
whole
advertisement
to
yourself
?
let
the
poor
dressmaker
put
her
name
in
as
having
furnished
the
raiment
,
and
she
will
,
perhaps
,
let
you
off
the
4s
.
6d
.
;
otherwise
,
you
may
do
it
still
cheaper
by
bills
on
hoardings
—
IMMENSE
ATTRACTION
!
The
Marchioness
of
Scilly
will
appear
at
Court
on
the
—
—
inst
.
Train
glacépoult
de
soie
bouillionée
,
etc.
I
am
not
sure
that
to
attend
the
professional
social
gatherings
of
a
Parisian
"
undressmaker
"
and
pay
him
twenty
francs
a
"
look
"
is
not
less
objectionable
,
but
this
is
the
British
way
of
worshipping
the
same
idol
.
This
vein
of
reflection
was
suggested
to
me
by
Bodwinkle
's
ball
.
Talk
of
sermons
in
stones
!
they
are
nothing
to
the
sermons
contained
in
drums
and
balls
.
First
,
I
have
already
let
my
readers
into
the
secret
history
of
that
ball
.
I
have
told
them
how
Lady
Broadhem
and
Spiffy
Goldtip
combined
their
resources
and
launched
the
Bodwinkles
in
Vanity
Fair
with
a
gorgeous
mansion
and
Lady
Mundane
's
invitation
list
.
To
describe
all
Spiffy
's
exertions
in
the
Bodwinkle
cause
for
some
days
prior
to
the
ball
would
be
impossible
.
To
tell
of
the
extraordinary
suggestions
that
Bodwinkle
was
continually
making
with
reference
to
the
decoration
of
the
banisters
,
the
arrangements
for
supper
,
and
the
utter
ignorance
he
displayed
throughout
of
the
nature
of
the
enterprise
upon
which
he
had
embarked
,
would
occupy
more
space
than
I
can
afford
.
To
give
a
list
of
the
guests
would
be
superfluous
,
as
they
were
very
accurately
reported
in
the
columns
of
the
'
Morning
Post
.
'
In
spite
of
all
Spiffy
could
do
,
Bodwinkle
would
insist
upon
inviting
a
number
of
his
own
friends
,
and
nearly
ruined
the
party
irretrievably
by
allowing
one
man
to
bring
his
daughters
.
However
,
as
Mrs
B
.
did
not
take
the
slightest
notice
of
them
,
and
as
they
knew
nobody
,
they
went
away
early
.
Nevertheless
,
as
Lady
Veriphast
said
,
"
There
were
all
kinds
of
people
that
one
had
never
seen
in
one
's
life
before
.
"
This
was
the
great
mistake
.
People
do
n't
yet
humiliate
themselves
to
get
invitations
to
meet
people
they
never
saw
before
.
They
may
come
to
that
,
but
at
present
nothing
is
worth
going
to
unless
all
society
wants
to
go
:
then
anything
is
.
Now
Spiffy
had
so
managed
,
that
by
a
judicious
system
of
puffing
he
had
excited
immense
interest
in
the
Bodwinkle
ball
—
he
had
been
morally
bill-sticking
it
in
all
the
clubs
for
weeks
past
.
He
had
told
the
most
r
—
pandu
young
dancing
men
that
it
would
be
impossible
for
him
to
get
them
invitations
.
If
Bodwinkle
had
been
General
Tom
Thumb
,
and
Spiffy
had
been
Barnum
,
he
could
not
have
achieved
a
greater
success
.
He
had
insisted
upon
Bodwinkle
having
Mrs
B
.
painted
by
the
most
fashionable
artist
and
exhibited
in
the
Academy
,
where
the
hanging
committee
,
some
of
whom
were
at
the
ball
afterwards
,
gave
it
a
good
place
,
and
the
'
Times
'
critic
gave
it
half
a
column
.
Until
then
he
had
kept
her
dark
.
No
one
had
ever
seen
Mrs
Bodwinkle
,
except
three
or
four
literary
men
,
who
discreetly
and
mysteriously
alluded
to
her
intellect
,
and
a
naughty
duke
,
who
indiscreetly
and
less
mysteriously
alluded
to
her
charms
.
People
began
to
want
to
make
Mrs
Bodwinkle
's
acquaintance
some
time
before
the
ball
,
but
she
resolutely
denied
herself
.
The
only
men
who
were
let
into
the
secret
were
Bower
,
Scraper
,
and
a
few
others
skilled
in
the
art
of
socially
advertising
.
Their
principal
function
consisted
in
asking
every
one
of
their
friends
for
some
time
before
whether
they
were
going
to
the
Bodwinkle
ball
.
It
oozed
out
,
through
Spiffy
,
that
I
knew
something
of
Bodwinkle
,
and
the
result
was
that
I
was
bombarded
with
requests
to
procure
invitations
.
This
was
the
style
of
note
that
arrived
incessantly
.
This
is
from
Mary
,
Marchioness
of
Pimlico
:
—
"
Dear
Lord
Frank
,
—
Lady
Mundane
tells
me
that
you
are
one
of
the
privileged
few
who
can
get
invitations
to
the
Bodwinkles
'
.
Please
exert
your
interest
in
my
favour
.
You
know
this
is
Alice
's
first
season
.
—
Yours
truly
,
"
Mary
Pimlico
.
"
Here
is
another
one
:
—
"
Dear
Lord
Frank
,
—
Do
please
get
an
invitation
for
my
very
great
friend
,
Amy
Rumsort
,
for
the
Bodwinkles
'
.
She
is
most
anxious
to
go
,
for
very
particular
reasons
.
I
will
tell
you
them
when
we
meet
.
Spiffy
Goldtip
sent
mamma
mine
,
but
declines
to
come
to
the
front
about
Amy
.
—
Yours
most
sincerely
,
Harriet
Wylde
.
"
"
Wild
Harrie
"
is
the
name
by
which
this
young
lady
is
usually
known
among
her
sporting
friends
.
She
is
a
promising
débutante
,
and
very
properly
calls
herself
"
first
favourite
"
of
the
season
.
"
Dear
me
,
"
thought
I
,
as
I
opened
a
series
of
similar
epistles
,
"
if
I
were
the
head
of
a
public
department
,
who
only
recommended
honours
to
be
given
to
those
who
applied
for
them
oftenest
,
and
if
all
these
were
meritorious
public
servants
wanting
C.B.
's
,
or
gallant
soldiers
anxious
for
Victoria
Crosses
,
they
could
not
beg
more
pertinaciously
and
unblushingly
.
"
And
I
made
a
list
of
the
petitioners
,
leaving
out
those
who
had
written
to
me
without
knowing
me
,
and
went
to
the
club
,
where
I
intrusted
them
to
Spiffy
,
with
a
peremptory
request
that
he
would
distribute
the
required
invitations
upon
pain
of
my
financial
displeasure
.
Spiffy
gave
me
some
curious
statistics
about
invitations
and
the
means
employed
to
obtain
them
.
Three
ladies
who
never
asked
him
to
their
parties
,
and
whom
he
had
therefore
left
out
,
though
all
more
or
less
leaders
of
the
beau
monde
,
actually
wrote
to
Mrs
Bodwinkle
in
various
strains
—
one
was
a
threatening
,
the
other
an
appealing
letter
,
and
the
third
assumed
that
she
had
been
omitted
by
mistake
.
Two
young
gentlemen
had
the
impertinence
,
after
trying
every
other
mode
in
vain
,
actually
to
call
on
Mrs
Bodwinkle
,
and
extract
invitations
from
that
bewildered
woman
,
who
was
too
much
frightened
to
refuse
them
.
Bodwinkle
was
not
idle
in
the
House
,
and
two
Liberals
and
an
extreme
Radical
,
all
young
,
unable
to
resist
temptation
,
voted
against
the
Government
on
the
promise
of
invitations
.
As
for
Spiffy
,
even
he
was
acquiring
fresh
social
experience
,
and
tells
me
he
can
scarcely
resist
entering
upon
a
pecuniary
exploitation
of
his
position
in
society
.
"
There
is
,
"
said
that
enterprising
and
original
individual
,
"
so
much
to
be
done
by
a
man
of
genius
.
Just
look
what
is
open
to
me
in
this
line
,
—
—
"
'
Families
in
the
country
anxious
that
their
sons
should
be
well
lancés
in
the
society
of
the
metropolis
,
are
requested
to
apply
to
the
Honourable
Spiffington
Goldtip
.
Invitations
to
the
most
fashionable
parties
obtained
at
a
reasonable
amount
.
Charges
moderate
for
introductions
to
Clubs
.
No
charge
whatever
for
introductions
to
noblemen
.
'
"
Or
in
this
line
,
—
"
'
To
Debutantes
and
Others
in
want
of
Chaperonage
.
—
Young
ladies
whose
mothers
are
invalids
,
or
are
from
some
cause
considered
objectionable
by
society
,
or
who
have
only
step-mothers
,
or
who
are
orphans
with
unkind
or
Evangelical
relations
,
or
who
are
unexpectedly
at
the
last
moment
deprived
of
their
natural
protectors
,
on
applying
to
the
undersigned
will
be
provided
with
suitable
chaperons
.
The
undersigned
begs
to
notify
that
his
stock
of
chaperons
will
bear
the
strictest
examination
as
to
character
,
and
have
all
at
one
time
or
other
moved
in
the
highest
circles
of
society
.
No
debutante
or
young
lady
whose
birth
and
antecedents
do
not
entitle
her
to
the
same
privilege
need
apply
.
Spiffington
Goldtip
.
'
"
Then
the
pendant
to
this
would
be
,
—
"
'
To
Married
Women
or
Widows
without
Daughters
.
—
Married
women
,
or
widows
without
daughters
,
who
have
either
dropped
out
of
society
or
are
in
danger
of
dropping
out
,
in
consequence
of
there
being
no
special
reason
why
they
should
be
kept
in
,
and
who
are
capable
of
undertaking
the
duties
of
chaperon
,
are
requested
to
apply
to
the
Honourable
Spiffington
Goldtip
.
The
Hon.
S.
G
.
has
a
large
stock
of
debutantes
,
and
other
young
ladies
in
want
of
chaperons
,
always
on
hand
.
The
strictest
references
given
and
required
.
'
"
You
may
laugh
,
"
Spiffy
went
on
,
"
but
I
assure
you
the
sort
of
successes
I
have
in
my
own
line
are
quite
astonishing
.
Look
what
a
hit
I
've
made
with
Wild
Harrie
—
her
mother
,
Lady
Wylde
,
you
remember
,
was
her
husband
's
brother
's
governess
.
Well
,
I
said
plainly
to
her
,
'
You
will
ruin
that
girl
's
chances
if
you
attempt
to
force
her
on
society
in
your
own
way
.
You
ca
n't
afford
to
entertain
upon
the
right
scale
,
and
you
wo
n't
be
asked
anywhere
unless
you
do
,
for
there
is
a
set
going
to
be
made
against
Harriet
.
If
you
will
leave
her
to
me
,
I
know
her
strong
points
,
and
will
see
her
through
the
whole
business
as
if
she
was
my
own
sister
.
'
"
I
must
here
remark
en
passant
that
Spiffy
is
apparently
capable
of
doing
the
most
unselfish
things
,
and
of
taking
an
infinity
of
trouble
upon
himself
out
of
pure
good-nature
.
"
What
was
your
modus
operandi
?
"
I
asked
.
"
Oh
,
it
was
all
plain
sailing
enough
.
The
first
thing
to
provide
was
a
popular
chaperon
,
and
the
second
a
special
reputation
.
Now
Harrie
is
a
wonderful
rider
,
and
knows
a
horse
thoroughly
.
Then
she
looks
like
a
high-bred
Arab
herself
,
though
her
mother
was
a
governess
,
and
I
felt
sure
Dick
Helter
would
fall
a
victim
.
So
I
introduced
her
to
the
Helters
.
As
Lady
Jane
goes
in
for
safeness
,
she
does
not
like
married
women
,
and
always
smiles
most
kindly
upon
any
girl
that
pleases
her
husband
;
so
I
knew
if
I
could
get
Harrie
by
her
side
on
the
top
of
Helter
's
drag
,
the
next
step
was
a
certainty
,
and
that
I
had
secured
my
chaperon
.
The
result
has
fully
justified
my
expectations
.
Harrie
has
secured
the
box-seat
en
permanence
,
went
down
to
the
Derby
on
Helter
's
drag
,
and
won
a
pot
on
the
French
horse
under
his
judicious
advice
.
Little
Haultort
,
and
all
the
other
men
who
lost
to
her
,
adore
her
of
course
,
and
all
the
girls
in
London
hate
her
;
but
whenever
the
mammas
object
to
asking
her
on
account
of
'
that
horrid
Lady
Wylde
,
'
I
floor
all
opposition
by
saying
,
'
Oh
,
Lady
Jane
Helter
will
bring
her
.
'
I
wonder
,
"
said
Spiffy
,
with
a
sigh
,
"
when
she
has
made
her
little
game
,
whether
she
will
remember
to
whom
she
owed
it
?
"
"
Now
,
do
you
find
much
ingratitude
of
this
kind
?
"
I
asked
,
inquiringly
.
"
No
,
"
said
Spiffy
.
"
I
must
say
on
the
whole
my
experience
of
the
world
in
this
respect
is
,
that
it
is
not
so
black
as
it
is
painted
.
It
is
true
that
I
attribute
its
gratitude
chiefly
to
laziness
.
For
instance
,
in
my
own
case
,
so
long
as
I
hold
the
position
I
do
in
society
,
people
who
insisted
upon
being
ungrateful
to
me
would
find
it
hard
work
.
By
the
way
,
I
observe
you
do
n't
go
out
as
much
as
you
used
—
how
's
that
?
"
This
was
no
business
of
Spiff
's
,
so
I
said
sublimely
,
"
Because
the
aristocracy
bore
me
,
and
the
middle
classes
grate
upon
my
nerves
.
—
But
about
this
little
girl
:
she
is
rather
an
ally
of
mine
,
so
you
must
see
that
her
friend
,
Miss
Rumsort
,
has
the
card
.
"
"
It
is
too
bad
!
"
broke
out
Spiffy
.
"
The
way
that
girl
and
her
married
sister
are
trying
to
take
the
world
by
storm
is
intolerable
.
It
does
not
matter
whether
they
know
the
people
they
apply
to
or
not
,
it
is
always
the
same
story
.
She
pretends
she
is
tremendously
in
love
with
Larkington
because
he
goes
everywhere
,
and
her
sister
looks
sentimental
,
and
tries
to
work
upon
your
feelings
about
'
poor
Amy
,
'
whose
only
object
in
life
is
to
meet
him
;
but
it
is
all
a
dodge
to
get
asked
.
She
cares
no
more
for
Larkington
than
for
me
.
Now
,
I
'll
be
bound
Wild
Harrie
put
something
about
very
particular
reasons
in
her
note
to
you
.
"
"
Well
,
"
said
I
,
astonished
at
Spiffy
's
penetration
,
and
at
the
new
views
of
life
he
was
placing
before
me
,
"
I
must
admit
that
that
phrase
did
occur
.
"
"
Of
course
it
did
;
why
,
it
is
one
of
the
regular
forms
of
'
extorting
invitations
under
false
pretences
.
'
I
want
the
police
to
interfere
,
but
it
seems
,
although
they
are
doubtless
begging-letters
,
containing
fraudulent
misrepresentations
,
there
is
some
difficulty
about
bringing
them
within
the
terms
of
the
Act
.
"
"
Never
mind
